The Chaser Report - The Defamation Awards Of 2023!

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

Join Charles Firth and Dom Knight as they present The Defo's! With prestigious award categories like "Best Case Initiated By A War Criminal" and the highly sought after "Golden Defo", it truly is the night of nights for rich, white innocent-until-proven-f*cked men! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello, and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Hello, Charles. We've been away for a little while and we should address that. Yeah, we should have mentioned that we were going to struggle. We were very busy and we just kept getting a bit too busy. It's actually amazing we managed to put this thing out as regularly as we have in 2023. Well done us, to be honest.

And also, thank you to everyone who emailed and content. contacted us inquiring as to where we were and whether we'd given up or something. Absolutely. No, we haven't given up at all. We're still here. It just got busy. And part of the reason that we got busy was that you were putting together some very important awards. That's right. And I can announce them here today, which is the 28th annual Defoe Awards for fuck-ups in defamation litigation, have been announced, thanks to our live show, which is now over. And we can actually discuss them here today. Yes, the embargoes brief. because they did it every single night of their tour around the country.

So, yeah, the defos have been handed out. We can run you through them. And I would also like, Charles, in this episode, to defame defamation. Yes. Because I think defamation is stupid. Yes. It's hopeless. Yes.

And it knows what it did. Although, I would say defamation is quite fun when targeted it at Alan Jones. Oh, yes. Sorry, defamation is wonderful as a source of content. Yeah, yeah. It is highly entertaining. In fact, I teach a method of how to write for the chaser, right? Like, you know, yeah, I have worked it into sort of the 13 filters of Chaser-style comedy, right?

And one of them is be defamatory as a writing style, that is a theme in Chaser Conte. It's both a theme and a piece of evidence to be used in future defamation sets. Why is defamation stupid and who won the defos for 2023? You'll have to find out after this. So these are prestigious awards, Charles. How many years if there's really been handed out? This is the first year. The first year.

but it won't be the last year because there's been a trend, Charles. There's been a trend that people who've embarked on defamation suits have tended to be the main victims of the process. Yes, well, this is the insight. I mean, I must admit, this idea to do the Defoe Awards is James Schleffel's idea, my co-host in the War in 20203. But the inside is basically that, well, I mean, the actual whole thing, the name of the things,

recognizing the very best fuck-ups in defamation litigation from people, who boldly set out to sue their accusers and monumentally fuck it up. Because it's important to remember, Charles. And people are going to be shocked to hear this. But as a law graduate, I'm in a position to set this out. This will shock you probably too. Defamation is meant to be a means of restoring your reputation from damage. So you wouldn't know that.

No. Yeah. If you only lived for the last, say, 10 years in Australia, you would assume that what happens is, you know, you do something awful and then you launch a defamation suit in order to sort of make your name as widely known as awful. Yes, so basically to make sure everyone knows. And also, crucially, to go to court and have the facts of the awful things that you

may have done proven in court. And so, for instance, Ben Roberts Smith, who will get to. Well, yes. There's just some breaking news about him, which is that Kerry Stokes has just agreed to pay all of the City Morning Herald on the ages costs in that defamation suit. So it's affected his reputation and his bank balance as well. And let's not forget, and this is one of our big. episodes of the year as we look back, the day when it became perfectly legal to say that

Ben Robert Smith was a war criminal because a court had found that he likely was. Yes, that's right. And that he was a killer. It was something like a cold-blooded killer. All of that sort of thing. And we might have reached being sued before that, but then the court said, no, no, no. We've looked at the facts in exhaustive detail. We were just quoting from the facts.

We're in a position to say on the balance of probabilities, yeah, this guy kicks people off Cliffs. Well, that is why this year, the Hague Award for services to future war crimes hearings was won by Ben Robert Smith. It's nice that he's won something because he certainly didn't win the lawsuit. And the point made by Mark Humphreys, because he did all the sort of descriptions of the awards. Oh, he did a beautiful voiceover. It was a fabulous voiceover. Well done, Mark. But the point is that over the past two years, Ben has worked tirelessly and selflessly to provide incriminating evidence, facilitate witness statements, and bring to light new material, all of which can be now used in support for war crimes trial against him.

It's extraordinary. Lachlan, can he put in a round of applause here? Yes. That point is so true. All those witnesses hadn't been rounded up before they were all rounded up for this legal process. And so if there is a war crime trial, and I believe that one's being looked at very seriously, all the testimony will be right there, ready to go. All the anonymous people.

Thanks to Ben Robert Smith. But thanks to Ben Robert Smith's attempt to clear his reputation. Yes. So, yes, look, a worthy winner of the defoe there. That was possibly the biggest. It's so hard to know, which is the biggest of the year. Oh, no, no. There's been a lot of fuck-ups, Dom.

Let's not, I mean. Let's not, uh, yeah. Is it the golden defo? Is that what's called? No, the golden junction is the final one. Let's not give out the golden junction just yet. No, but why don't we get to the next one, which is the best fuck-up by a supporting actor trying to impress his daddy?

Oh, a supporting actor. Oh, yes. I went to the war on 2023. I had a very good night. This, I see, I would have forgotten about this, Charles. Yeah. If I was just thinking of the big defo suits between 23 and three, You guys did your research.

This was a little gem, wasn't it? Yeah, this is Lachlan Murdoch, who in this captivating performance, we see the younger Murdoch trying to impress his daddy by suing a small independent Australian newsletter, i.e. Crikey. Remember that? I do. I presume you mean, do I remember Crikey exists. Barely.

But I do. And this is the whole thing, Charles. When you're Lachlan Murdoch, a billionaire, chair of News Corp, one of the most powerful men in the world, you should be able to crush a tiny email newsletter like an ant. De re-reger. It's just part of, you know, what comes with being a billionaire. He shouldn't even need to try. And yet, it's not often that you see the law sticking up for the little email newsletter. But yes, you ended up abandoning the whole thing. And I believe paying the cost of the cost. Yeah, it's not all the cost. And, I mean, what an stunning achievement. It should be noted, Charles.

Lachlan Murdoch very much believes in free speech. He doesn't, you know, as a newspaper proprietor in his other job, he doesn't want to see defamation suits flying around Willie Nealooley. Maybe he remembered that belatedly. Charles, what do you think? I think that the irony is that in trying to impress his daddy psychologically, he completely disappointed his daddy because one of his daddy's whole modus operandi is to never sue for anything because he knows what a fucking minefield they are. This is the strangest thing about this situation is that it does prove the general point because it was a general statement in a Bernard Kien article about how Murdox were,

I think, unindicted co-conspirators was the term. Of the January 6th. Of the January 6th, 2. And there's sort of a throwaway line, went out to a couple of thousand subscribers barely existed in the world, right? It was just in people's inboxes. And I'm a crikey subscriber of many years standing. Don't tend to read it. There's a rule about to tell that I don't like it.

I think I read that one. I know, yeah, it's a bit spicy, good stuff. Then, by suing, Lachlan Murdoch got millions upon millions of people to consider. Because it was reported in New York Times everywhere else. Is this man an unindicted? He wasn't even named. It was just like the Murdox, is he an unindicted co-conspirator? And then when the Dominion voting machines lawsuit came up,

and it was heard in court that, yeah, Fox News was absolutely involved in that whole process of lying about the voting machines. Yeah, pretty much seemed like an unindicted co-conspirator, allegedly, allegedly. Well, I think we probably can say that. I don't think Loughlin's going to sue again for that claim. Wouldn't it be ironic if you didn't? No, I can't matter as Lachlan. That's fine.

We're the one media target pissier than crikey. So, yeah, go beat up a podcast, buddy. The next one is best victory speech during a defamation defeat. Oh, yeah, see, I would have forgotten this one too. This is a genuine, these awards are a genuine public service, Charles. And that was, of course, the teary Christian Porter, who, you know, as Mark said during the show, most people are forced to withdraw from a defamation suit said as a defeat, but not Porter. In a memorable performance, Porter subverts expectations claiming victory before labelling the ABC's

decision not to pay him damages, a humiliating backdown by the ABC. I remember that speech. I remember where I was when I watched that speech. And there was this wonderful cognitive dissonance that just emerged. As you're watching it, he seemed very upset. He was sort of on the verge of tears claiming a total victory against the ABC, which none of the fact seemed to support. But Charles, it's nice that he felt it was a victory, wasn't it?

And I think there's a running theme here. I mean, one of them is that they're all middle-aged white men. Yes, indeed. I mean, Bruce Lamont and not quite middle-aged. Yeah, but we'll get to him as well. But he will become a middle-aged white man. Actually, you know what? I think he's prematurely here in the middle-aged one.

If he wasn't before, he would be now with all these lawsuits. But I think the thing is that there's a sort of sense where they start telling themselves their own narrative about the world. Yes. And if you go through life not being accountable to reality in the way that, you know, the privileges of being a white man in society tends to do. It tends to let you just make up your own reality and just keep going. There's a bubble of just moving through with no consequences. Yeah, then you reach the point where you go, well, I can test this in court. That's fine.

I'll win the lawsuit. But you tend to sue other white men, and you see, one of the white men's going to win, but it might not be you. And it's worth noting that Christian Porter, and again, the fact of these things are so revealing. Christian Porter was not forced to sue for defamation. He didn't have to at all. He could have stayed in Parliament. But the fact that his lawsuit was funded by a trust fund, and we still don't know whose money it was that was used, That was essentially what led to him leaving the parliament and ending his political career.

Yeah, we still don't know whether it was Twiggy Forrest or Gina Reinhardt who funded his lawsuit. Or an extremely exclusive go-fund me, just all the billionaires in Australia. But here's the thing. Again, complete self-immolation. No one asked him to do this. He just went and vindicated because, Charles, he would have been prime minister, wouldn't he, without all this, in his own mind? In his own mind.

His own mind. And now he's not even in politics anymore. But you know what, Charles. If the Chaser ever falls on hard times and needs a lawyer who knows what it's like to be in the trenches I mean Christian Porter is available I don't feel that we should work with you

Yeah, it's true Yeah More Defo Awards after this The Chaser Report News a few days after it happens Okay the next award Is the Free Speech is Sacred Until Someone Teases Me Award

And that was clear winner Peter Dutton Remember when he sued that unemployed Twitter guy. Shane, what was his name? Shane. I can't even remember the facts this one. Yeah, this was a fascinating one.

To see the opposition leader suing a fairly obscure media figure. Yeah. To protect his reputation. He sort of moved from, because Beda Dutton's always been a bit of a free speech is sacred. In fact, I think he actually said free speech is sacred. This is Shane Butsy. Yeah. And then he sued this tweeter guy who was unemployed for writing a mean tweet about him.

Yes. Yes. And look, it eventually sort of went nowhere. it did make everyone ponder the notion of it. And the term that was used, Dutton sued Batsy in the federal court and the tweet labeled him a rape apologist. Initially,

he won $35,000 per compensation. That was overturned on appeal because it didn't carry the imputation. I'm just summarizing the guardian here because I've forgotten about all the details. But again, it's fascinating stuff. And it made everyone think, oh, Peter Dutton is he a rape apologist? What's going on?

Because actually what Shane's point was that he was using it in a very precise term, which is that if you believe in a system that actually creates systemic rape, then, you know, in academic discourse that is known as being a rape apologist, well, in that you're justifying a system that incorporates rape into its functioning, right? Which is possibly the most sophisticated argument ever made on Twitter. Yes, that's right, exactly. Not generally a place for nuance. But I wouldn't have learned about all that sort of discourse around that whole topic area

Had Peter Dutton not sued Shane Best, because it's not something that you sort of look up. Do we have a system that facilitates? Well, there you go. Well, our defamation system is really good at bringing to light these ideas that they don't want to come to light. Charles, I was, at the start of this episode, I was prepared to defame defamation and say that it's a terrible appalling system that needs to go. You're coming around to it. But I'm beginning to see that the results have actually been fairly spectacular, haven't they? I'm sure that hypothetically there are some people

who might have their reputation damage and this may be used to silence free speech but I must say the sort of net league of white guys bringing defamation suits throughout the I can't think of many who've won Should we just be braver in our publishing? It seems like the defamation suit. It's not really favouring the people who

let's put it this way. I wouldn't want to be a defamation lawyer and expect to get a lot of work in 2024 because there's a bit of a trend emerging in the courses. Mind you it doesn't seem to stop people No, because they're different. They're special. Alan Jones got Kate McClyminton, you know, just the other day,

which brings us to our next award. The Kate McClemmet Award, which we actually renamed after the first night of giving out the Kate McClemmet Award, because that only happened on Thursday. Yes, you were very quick. It was the day of the whole, these really disturbing allegations broke

of Alan Jones allegedly abusing his power over employees, very, very disturbing and upsetting allegations. And he immediately threatened to sue that day. Yes. So you got the defile. award in, I hot off the press. And we ended up calling that Defo Award, the, oh no, we're going to have to add another award award.

Oh, that's good. Yeah. And the idea was that even though he hasn't sued yet, we're pretty certain he will sue, and by this time next year, he will have fucked it up. Okay, so it's like the Defo's in the mail. Yeah, that's right. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

But mind you, if I'm understanding it right, he may also be part of the in-memorium package next year. Oh, I see. Goodness me. So this is the amazing thing about this award. I mean, Kate McClyman's been, if I read the story correctly, she's been sitting on this thing for many years and been investigating very, very thoroughly. Well, Chris Masters was on the radio on Friday. He, of course, wrote the book, Jonestown, which ended up being pulped and then republished. But he was saying that he felt that Kate McClymant's work dated back to 2017, that back then a whole lot of stuff came out, or was told to John's. journalists at that point. And essentially she's been doing six years of work.

Do we even want to get into this in a comedy podcast? Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe we shouldn't, except to say, good times ahead for the Defoe Awards. Yeah, you're right, Charles. There will be, this is possibly going to be the biggest defamation action of 2024 if Jones does actually sue. Watch this space. Mind you, he's got a history of not suing. Chris Masters actually told the anecdote on ABC Radio on Friday of him initially wanting to sue over the allegations about him being in a London toilet. Those are rather notorious allegations. Yeah.

People always just make little references to them, don't they? And apparently he rang up somebody to say, I'm going to sue you. And the person went, well, if you sue us, then the details of what happened in that toilet will have to be come out. Do you want that? You know, that will be part of, you know, what happens in the trial. And then apparently Alan Jones just hung up and there was no court case. Well, Alan Jones is famously quite a bright man. He's probably aware that suing people for defamation, 10.

tends to involve what we call a discovery process. You know what it's called a discovery process? Because you discover. Because shit gets discovered. That's right. Exactly. So, yes, it'll be interesting to see how that one plays out. That's nice to give a bit of a preview of War on 2024, child.

Yes. Yes, exactly. But that brings us to our final award, which is the gold injunction. Yes. Now, it's funny, because I'm reading the notes from back when we wrote it several months ago. And back then, we didn't have, like, it was actually a completely different joke about the Golden Junction went to the person who had successfully kept their name out of the press for sexual assault allegations.

Well, that one really flipped around, didn't it? And the whole idea was, and, you know, your prize is a hosting gig with Channel 7, right? And that was going to be the sort of gag. But, and then the whole point was Mark was going to come on and bundle us off before we actually, you know, broke the injunction, right? But instead. Who could you have been referring to it? Yes, but then the Golden Junction got renamed to be the award given to somebody who launches a lawsuit about a sexual assault allegation, while simultaneously facing a second sexual assault allegation.

And the award went to unnamed Toowoomba Man. And we said, you know, we can't actually name him for legal reasons. Yes. But his name rhymes with Bruce Lehman. Yes. I must say, it does seem to me, just looking at the papers again today, I'm not clear that that lawsuit and all the associated lawsuits is ever going to end. Like, it seems as though I think Brittany Higgins' parents are now giving testimony.

Everyone who's ever met them seems to be giving testimony. I don't think this is ever going to end. No, I think that we're stuck with that being the front page news for the rest of, well, certainly our lives, maybe our kids. Absolutely. And my heart goes out to anyone, really, who's been mentioned in this segment so far, who hasn't got a free apartment from Channel 7 for a year. No, exactly.

It seems like that's what you can do. Well, do you think maybe Alan Jones is negotiating a free apartment from Channel 7 right now? With Channel 7? Yeah. Oh, look, if it's in the toaster, I'm not sure Kerry's Toakes will be willing to fund it. He's something. In terms of the person who's wasted the most money on failing law suits this year, I think it's $12 million, Kerry Stokes is paying just for Ben Robert Smith at this stage.

Why don't we defame somebody? No, what do we have to do to get money out of Kerry's toke? win a Victoria Cross in war. Kick a handcuffed man off a cliff. Yeah, and then get a job managing Channel 7 in W.A. or something? No, it was in Queensland. Yeah, managing Channel 7 in Queensland and then basically... But he also covered Bruce Laman's rent for a year.

That's true for a teller. So all you need to do is do something and then... Do something absolutely reprehensible and then sue your accuser and then Kerry Stokes rescues you. Well, the reprehensible thing we can all agree on is just subjecting the country to a million. in lawsuits forever. And regardless of the ordeal that Brittany Higgins says that she suffered in Parliament, which sounded appalling, the ordeal she's suffering now in the papers

every day, it's just awful. So, Charles, it's nice for Bruce Lehman to have something that he's unambiguously won that can't be subjected to appeal. And I don't imagine there'll be more law suits over the Golden Junction. No, exactly. Oh, hang on, wait a second. I wasn't supposed to mention his name, was I. Our gear is from Roe.

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