The Chaser Report - The Difference Between The Surprise Spruiker & Crazy Warehouse Guy | Andrew Hansen

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

Taking a look back at our WAR STORIES series when Andrew Hansen told Charles and Dom about the fine differences between some of his most iconic characters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Charles and Dom. My name is producer Lachlan, and neither of them can make the phone right now, so leave a message after the beep. Just kidding, it's a podcast, you should know that we can't leave messages. It is a one-way medium, and you are supposed to listen, which is why, today we're going to pull out one of the old episodes from the vault. There are 900 episodes now, so I've got a lot to choose from, and I thought it'd be a lot of fun to revisit our summer war stories series we did in 2022, and we're going to have a listen to an episode where Andrew tells Charles and Dom the difference between his surprise spruca character and the crazy warehouse voiceover character. They're very different, they're very different, as you will soon find out right after this. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens.

Andrew, you did a lot of things, didn't you? I did a lot of crazy warehouse guys. Yeah, yeah. There used to be this type of TV commercial. Like, I mean, if you're listening to this and you're below a certain age, you've probably never heard of these TV commercials. Unless you live in regional Australia, where they might still be on there. People who own discount stores still record their own ads.

Do they still? People who own discounts. They may well. Yes. And particularly Persian rug warehouses and things like. this and they would they used to have a voiceover artist who would literally scream into the microphone and the louder it was the bigger the bargains wasn't that the logic yes we're like the bargains bargains bargains huge bargain they would literally scream like this into the microphone

it was the most annoying and horrible ads and they were always on late at night and i think um somebody had the idea that it would be funny if one of those voiceover artists if we got a glimpse into his life and then he walked around speaking like that all the time A lot of the war was, here's a sort of premise, let's just use it in 20 different places. It was, yeah, a lot of it was. Yeah, like, what if that guy or that, I mean, there was even a, where can you take a horse?

Yeah, the Trojan horse, that was great fun. No, not that, there was a real horse. No, no, where can you take a real horse? A real horse? Oh, yes, that's right. Don't you remember, Tommy? Yeah, yeah. Which I think, because Chris Taylor finds horses very fast.

He does. Yeah, yeah. And I think he had this idea that it would just be funny to take a horse. horse into different shops which is what he did where can you

take Mr Darcy was another one of that was so much of it was where could you take a insert comedy idea

it was and I did I did one you know wouldn't it be interesting I noticed in American soap operas that a lot of

people when they talk to somebody else they have their back towards them and I think it was a camera I think it was so that you know

both actors could be facing towards the camera and you'd see somebody over the other actor's shoulder and there'd be someone in the foreground having a meaningful, you know, deep and meaningful

conversation saying, you know, I don't know if we can go on like this. I mean, if the Prince of Morocco never returns, then, you know, or whatever it is. And so I thought that would be funny, too, to just turn up on buses or walk into shops and engage someone in a conversation and then immediately turn around to face the opposite way and continue talking to them. And it turned out to be quite funny because people don't walk away. At first I thought, would they just walk away? But they don't.

If you walk up to somebody and face to face, say, oh, hi. I'm just wondering if I could ask about, and then you turn around and just deliver the rest of the conversation facing the other way, they don't leave or any. Like, you've engaged them and they stand there and patiently trying to talk to your back. Human beings are so funny. Because we're so polite. And we don't even question, nobody, none of them question. me standing there with my back to them for ages and the beauty of the show was if they did

you'd just cut them out and the edit well that's true that's true if you didn't get what you want yeah cutting room floor but anyway back to the crazy warehouse guy yeah because this was just such an enduring thing because it's just such a funny voice and it's so completely like you're talking about the politeness of humans

the crazy warehouse guy is so completely socially inappropriate and yet people still feel they've got to interact with him yeah well They sort of did, yeah, you do rely on people's essential politeness. And the first ever outing that the crazy warehouse guy had was into a McDonald's. Because that often seemed like everyone knows McDonald's. I think we often went into McDonald's to do things.

We did, to the point where the ABC actually said, you've got to stop doing stunts in McDonald's because we feel like they're getting all this free promotion. And it made no sense. We were annoying them time and time again. And somehow that was helpful to them. I don't know. Well, yeah, it's a relatable place. You know, everyone kind of gets, it's very public, but it's also quite formal.

Yeah, there are rules. There are rules, yeah. It's inappropriate to misbehave in a McDonald's, so it's kind of funny. So I guess that may be made sense. And also, there was a McDonald's very near the studio. That's true. It was really handy to pop out. Anything that was near the studio is used again and again.

Yeah, I once had a, like, media studies professor tell me that they thought that, The Chaser was a sort of revolutionary breakthrough thing for multiculturalism in Australia because, you know, a lot of the stunts were done, you know, in Asian language areas of Sydney. Yeah. And, you know, and, you know, and depicted Asian sort of cultures and people. No, somebody's an academic thought that. Yeah, yeah. And it was like, yeah, because the ABC is next to Chinatown.

Yes. And it wasn't multicultural shows. Like, it was full of white men. No, it was not at all. Interacting with. But the fact that we occasionally talk to people who happened to be in Chinatown. The kind of camera canon photo were non-wise. I suppose that Canada's progress back then.

It broke down, you know, Howard's Australia. I love academics. I love academics. I wonder what an academic would make of the crazy warehouse guy. So, Andrew, which one of you chosen? Which one of your chosen for us? I'm sure linguistics professors would actually break down. in the Crazy Warehouse.

Yeah, I'm sure there's PhDs on Crazy Warehouse. Crazy Warehouse PhD. That is a sketch. Crazy Warehouse Guide delivering like an occasional address at a PhD ceremony. That would be great. His PhD would be in all caps. Yes, yes. I don't think we ever had him shouting.

We should have PhDs, PhDs. Academic madness. We should have had him do that. I can't believe we didn't think of that. Turning up a lecture. You've got a PhD in gender studies. I think the one I wanted to listen to is his first outing His first live out

His first appearance was actually just a parody of an actual rug ad But the first time that I went into a public place And actually shot him standing there and yelling Yeah, I'm pretty sure the first one was Adam McDonald's And it was one of the only ones where I didn't go with a script Because normally I would write or we would get together And co-write a script for him

to deliver somewhere. But in the McDonald's, I think because it was the first one, we just was more of a let's go out and see, you know, what happens when he goes in and just shouts in places. And I was able to essentially

make the script by just looking up at the menu on the wall and yelling it. So that's what you'll now hear me do or hear the crazy warehouse guy do. McDonald's! Here it is. Oh, I'm fine. I'd like to order a meal, thanks, but I just need a moment to decide.

I can't believe how many choices you've got here. Bacon and egg tight, chicken, Italian Supreme, chicken tanturi, veggie, pasto, turkey and cranberry, chicken season, mustard meat, big mac, quite a pound of a cheese for chicken, fill in a fish. Small value, man, for only 525, that's 525. Unbelievable value, 525. That price is never to be repeated. 525, salads plus, nothing under 10 grams of fat, that's 10 grams of fat, that's 10 grams of fat. There's nutrition for you.

It's absolutely amazing. You're better brother for more lunchtime. I assume I was being escorted out during that last. The birth of an icon. The thing is with McDonald's as well, as they would have had people genuinely like shouting at them at other times of day. Like if you'd gone in there on two or three in the morning,

you probably wouldn't have been able to be heard over all chatting. They didn't, they barely batted an eyelid, the poor stuff. They probably just went, oh, that's Joel, the regular. Yes, yeah. That's right he'd come in for his usual order. They probably had it ready. They probably had exactly that order ready to go. To the crazy man.

The Chaser Report. Less news more often. Am I right in thinking, Andrew, because you were, you know, we worked out with all these very carefully scripted, you know, lines for both the crazy warehouse guy and the surprised Spruca, the other somewhat similar character that you did. did and didn't you just do them over and over again if you didn't if you got to the end you just

kind of went back to the start yeah yeah you would you would yeah because it's you know for tv so so you'd want to get a few good takes so yeah i would normally just turn up to the place deliver the script several times over maybe maybe six or seven times um and then we'd choose the best take we'd go you know that would essentially be like doing a take i always just felt that must have been even stranger for the people actually yeah oh it's terrible horrible for me Me, so awkward, because I'm a non-confrontational person. And, yeah, to stand there and yell that and then do it another six times in the same spot is a very humbling experience. But I think also your ability to memorize dialogue, which is, you know, far above everyone else in team.

That then made Mr. Ten questions work, didn't it? Because I don't think anyone else could possibly have remembered and sort of sequentially delivered the ten questions in the way that you did. I cheated with Mr. Ten Questions on me, because because he was a reporter. character, right, Mr Tenquist. So it made sense that he could have a clipboard.

And I actually, I made the clipboard part of his, part of his appearance. Oh, that's right. Because they all had their own wardrobe, isn't it? They had their own

wardrobe and instinctive items, like the Sproker's hat. Sproker always had the same hat. And I don't want this to irritate you, Andrew. But what was the difference between surprise Spruf and crazy warehouse?

Everyone, everyone used to ask this. And we didn't know And I didn't really know I think there was a slight difference But not much They're basically very similar And a lot of their phrases

They both their British accent No the surprise spruker's Australian No the other way around The crazy warehouse Crazy warehouse guys Australian Sorry sorry Sorry we just heard The crazy warehouse guys Australian

And then the surprise spruca was like The Gowing's Yeah and the Lowe's like Outside Lowe's and Gowings There are always these guys With big microphone boxes Doing that thing in live It was extraordinary

And they've gone And in Melbourne, it used to be at that place near the town hall on Swanson Street. Oh, Swanson Street was for them, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's that sort of downstairs place, you know. And that'd be these sort of English guys. And for some reason, these English fellows would stand out the front of the store, and they were a very, very persuasive sort of people who's talking to microphones

and say the word madness a lot, I noticed. Because I went out and researched how those spookers spoke by just listening to them for a few hours one day. There's different catchphrases for each of them, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, although in the end, the crazy warehouse guy and the surprise Spruco did share a few catchphrases. They both talked about madness and insanity and the boss going crazy. And they both had great concerns for their boss's mental health. And they also were very big on imposing midnight deadlines on their sales. It was always like, you've got to be out there by midnight tonight.

Or the Spruca would say, you know, they all have to be sold by midnight tonight. You know, so They were pretty similar The bed diagram I was going to say But I remember Chaz and I were obsessed Possibly Charles We talked to you about this as well

But there was a guy outside Lowe's on Park Street in Sydney We'd actually do this And I remember him always going A sail for the needy Not for the greedy That was his every moment You would just bring that one out

Brilliant, brilliant Where did these guys go? They've gone You know what did them in though What? Take a C No, because somebody, at some point in the 1990s, somebody realized, oh, wait, we could just replace all of them with a recording.

Yeah, they had a recording two years. Oh, yeah, yes, you're right. You're absolutely right. In fact, I think the Melbourne. How did they not realize that 30 years earlier? Maybe because the tape was too expensive. Probably back then it was cheaper to just hire a British man. But it was always British.

And then when you watch Locksock and Two Smoking Barrels, there's that amazing first scene where the guy's spruiking like stolen goods on the... And it's exactly the same patter. So somehow we've got them directly from Cockney Lundt. Oh yeah, we did.

Yeah, no, they've got a down pat. You know, they've worked out a great sales spiel that Australians never really worked out. Oh, except for when we shatter like this, when we kind of borrowed this, you know. Did they ever meet? Was there a sketch where they met?

I thought I remember that. There is a sketch. There's a climactic sketch where the crazy warehouse guy meets. the surprise spruca and they have a confrontation. And, yeah, the common words get used. In a rug warehouse.

We shot it in an actual Persian rug warehouse. At that point, you just can't really take the characters anywhere else, can you? That's just... Well, that was it. I mean, we felt it had run its course, I think, by then. You know, so it needed an ending, didn't that? You were never the bravest when it came to doing their sorts of stunts. It was always...

You hated them. I hated them. I hated doing them. And so did Chris, Chris Taylor. No, it was sort of, Craig and Julian loved doing them. Relished, relished going out and upsetting people. Julian Morrow still does, as you can. If you've been keeping up with the new.

Be careful, man. Yeah, he may sue you. No, only the chases sued someone else than chaser yet. No, he's having a time of his life to upsetting people out there. And I wasn't. I'm very non-confrontational. But I did like the jokes. So I would do something for the gag, but I didn't have a good time.

I used to drink because I was so nervous. Did you? And actually, yeah, yeah. You know, I also get very nervous. Drink alcohol? Yeah, but well, I did. No, but maybe I should tell you about that. Let me tell you about that in the next instalment.

That should be a cliffhanger. Okay. That should be a cliff hanger. Andrew Hans is alcohol problem. My booze problem on the Chases War and everything. Stay tuned. And how would surprise Bricker plug that episode? Yeah, that's right.

booze, booze, booze, absolute, madden it, something like that. I can't do him anymore. I'm rusty, rusty, rusty. I've completely, I've got, what is it, the voiceover artist has gone crazy and completely forgot now to do it. All right, thank you, Andrew. We'll get into that next time.