The Chaser Report - The Doctor's Office | Part 1

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

Charles believes he has, quote, "invented a whole new category of commerce," and proceeds to share his revolutionary new idea for a way to slack off during work hours. ---Buy the Wankernomics book: https://wankernomics.com/bookListen AD FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Charles, there's a few things I enjoy more in this mixed up world of ours than embarking on a podcast one. I have absolutely no clue what you want to talk about. But you're just like, I've got this. Yes. It's already.

And this is not just a podcast. This is a money-making opportunity, Dom. It's going to be one of those. Buckle up. I might as well take the ads now. So at least someone makes money out of this. Okay, so Dom, today I'm offering you. And why not all the listeners?

Although I think that might be against the Corporations Act to offer an equity holding in that business idea. The Corporations Act or the fraud regulation? Fraud, yeah, basic for common law. This is not financial advice. Okay, so this is the idea. So I've got to pitch for a new type of business that I don't think exists. at all in the world and it just has struck me like oh my fucking lord i might have invented a whole new category of commerce you said that before we started the chaser yes uh yes disproven

by the fact that the onion existed but nevertheless that was quite a good business idea yes i've got a good record i've got a track record no you don't you have a track record like it's i've got a track record i have a track record if you measure it by a percentage of ideas that came off very low yeah but but the ones that do yes they pay off my goodness i don't I know why you're bothering to talk to me, given how well wankanomics has been going. I'm like the Silicon Valley, like one in a hundred. I'm so personally offended that I wasn't considered enough of a wanker to be dealt into that juggernaut.

Anyway, all right, lay it on us. Okay, so you know how all the jobs are going to be wiped out by AI? So I gather, yeah. Like, just this week, the head of OpenAI has said, we're going to have to move to three-day work weeks. The head of Intel, I think it said that And then Hang on, that's because no one's buying Intel chip market

Because Apple and AMD is so much better They are going to have to work to move to three-day work weeks And then there's another I think maybe actually the head of Nvidia was the other guy Yeah, he said, yeah, it'll be three-day work week How does that make sense when they're the one company That makes the graphics cards that's fueling AI? No, no, but like because everything will be so much more efficient

This is their version of Utopia But what they don't realize is that whereas in the past, everyone heard three-day work weeks and everyone thought, oh, well, that's great. We'll just have holidays for the rest of the time. Yeah, we'll get a living wage working only three days. Yeah, we'll live the French life. Nowadays, everyone knows that what that actually means is we'll all be emiserated because we won't have enough money to even buy food.

Yeah, and if it's three days, hey, may as well just be a contractor, so you have no job security. And it is true that even this year, so they did assume. survey of Gen Z people in America, 38% of them have gone without food at least once this month due to not being able to pay their bills. I mean, we knew Americans needed to do something about their waistlines. That doesn't sound like the most healthy solution. That is not the solution. So, Charles, this is sounding like another one of those bleak society breaking down things.

No. Have you finally learned, as of this podcast episode, number 1100 or whatever it is. Yeah. That the thing to do, which most people do, is given everything spiraling into destruction and hellscape, hey, it's a business opportunity. It's a business opportunity. It may as well make a buck on the way down.

No, that's what I'm saying. And so the first thing that we do know is that even if it is only three days a week worth of work and you're only being paid for three days a week, we will be required to come into the office for the full five days a week. Like, we know that for a full. Yeah, okay. Like they'll just... But they'll just...

But they'll just for the three. Yeah, exactly. Like, it'll just be like, oh, you can have 60% of your income. Oh, and by the way, you're still enslaved to us for at least 45 hours a week. Yeah, it seems reasonable. And you'll have to check your emails at all, hours of day and night.

Yes, but we also know that we'll be under-employed there, right? Like, it'll be very boring at work because actually we'll only have three days worth of work, right? We'll just be basically glancing an eye over the AI outputs to make sure it makes some kind of sense. Yeah, exactly. Until they develop an AI that can do that for us. Slaves to the Matrix, right?

Yeah. So what is, what we need, is we need a service where you can duck out of the office for a couple of hours and basically hide from reality. Oh, wow. So, because the thing is, and so you know how you've got WeWork and those sorts of co-working spaces and what's the WhatsApp and, you know, there's a whole lot of different. There's a whole lot of co-working spaces where you basically, I was a member of WeWork for a month.

I tried it because they had a free trial for one month so they made zero dollars out of me as was their business model. at the time did they um have free booze and they did yeah that was amazing they had um free like fruit water like fruit infused water 24 seven free coffee 24 seven uh they had ping pong tables stuff like that but also yes i think it was at midday the unlimited beer taps switched on so you got to not only get incredibly uh drunk but you also got to fantasize that you were doing a startup even though you clearly weren't and they had networking things all the time so That was a bit difficult, though, because everyone else in the wee work was insufferable. But if you had enough of the free beers, it was actually, you know, he didn't mind you so much.

Okay, well... The only thing that didn't happen in the wee work was work. Yeah, so no, but the... See, this is the whole opportunity, right? Which is nobody goes to a wee work to work. Sure. They go to escape reality, right? Yeah, to have a little fantasy about being the next Sam Beckman-free.

Yeah, and so what we need is we need a place you can go just for a couple of hours. Oh, my. my goodness, this is a brilliant, I can see where you're going. To sleep. Yeah, like the third place that we keep talking about. We sleep. We sleep. Yeah, but the thing is, this is my genius.

So, and I think, I know that hotels exist. I'm not saying that they don't exist. But, like, I reckon I would pay 50 bucks for, like, three hours sleep or something like that. In the middle of a work day, if you're being paid, I don't know, $250 a day, we nap. You would, you would pay. Like, the Spanish already do it. It's like a seester.

You just need somewhere where you can plausibly go. But this is the genius part, right? Is you give it a name that sounds like it's not a place to go to sleep, but it's a place to work. It's like the meeting space or like, you know, meet.com or something like that. Or actually you could have a range of business names. Like it could be like night industries. Oh, that's good.

You know what I mean? Like it could have a whole lot of different registered business names there. So you could just say to your employer, oh, I'm just going. for a meeting. It's a bit of a sales meeting over at night industries. Nice. And then you get your three hours sleep,

you pay your 50 bucks. And if you think about it, you only need, like say it's the equivalent of a, you know, fairly drab hotel room. You only need to turn over that room two or three times

in a 24-hour period. And you're making more than a hotel. Well, a couple of thoughts on this, Charles. And also, they could be pods. They don't have to be full rooms. The first thing you won't like, but I have to remind you of it, This is very similar to the brief period when we were at Triple M.

And they had an outside broadcast, which was called The Shops. And the blokey footballers were like, tell your wife, you're going to the shops. And it's actually the pub. And there's free beers. Oh, I'm at the shops. And they were a supermarket drollies and stuff. But obviously more sophisticated because it's not drinking. It's sleeping.

It's the thing we actually need. Yes, it's a human need. That's the first point. Second point is. And also it fits into the macroeconomy. It does. So there are a few examples of this sort of thing being tried in the past, which not, not successfully. Oh, right.

So the first one is Adam Newman. I got fascinated by Wework while I was there. Because when I was there, basically, no one could understand why it was worth so much money. It somehow managed to get, you know, a sort of realestrate arbitrage resale business pretending to be a dot com, even though what they actually sold was physical space, which does not have any of the kind of dot com network dynamics. It was massively overpriced, as it was seen. But one of his big pine, the sky, ideas, was actually a thing called We Live, where there was going to be housing. They were going to have schools.

It was like, we learn, housing, we live. Isn't that just a house and a school? No, but it was also as a service. It was like we work. It was like you'd. Well, how is school not a service? No, but very temporary housing. But it wasn't for the three hours.

Oh, right. And that's, that's the genius. But the other thing, Charles, is that, I don't know, have you been to Japan? No, I've never been... So Japan not only has pods, which you can... Yeah, right. They're particularly popular with, like, salary men who... And women nowadays, too, who miss the last train or pass out drunk and pay 50 bucks or whatever

to just sleep overnight until the following morning. Yes. Because all the trains closed up. Are they as shit as the pods you can do in Sydney? Dreadful, pretty much. I'm sure they're fine. But you're drunk, so you don't notice. Yeah, right.

There's that. And then the other thing they have in Japan is a thing called the Love Hotel. And the Love Hotel is something that you rent it for two. hours at a time they call that a short stay yes and then you can also have the long stay which is actually overnight and they're all in absolutely bizarre oh strange design like um completely insane businesses and you don't see a soul you come in and there's like a vending machine and you get a ticket right right it's just all very discretion is yeah yeah yeah so that exists but not really outside of japan and they don't actually do naps obviously yes therefore like the opposite of a nap so if you

used those for naps or had a similar thing. Well, surely, it can be mixed use. Like, maybe there's some people like you and me who would go there to sleep. Yeah. And then there'd be other people who go there to enjoy themselves. Yeah, which might take, you know, as we all get older, 10 minutes or for the very young. Yeah. 10 minutes and then you need to sleep anyway.

But maybe you sort of, maybe we can do a bit of a sort of take a kind of. part of that business as well. You think so? Yeah, have a sort of we-pimp. Oh, God. Wow. You see what I'm saying? We're fully integrated.

Oh, yeah, yeah. We hook up. You could hook up with other people in the same pod. Yeah. Like, you just go, you both ducked out for sleep in the middle of the day. Possibilities around this. The Chaser Report. More news.

Less often. Because the other thing is, I think it would be important for their to be like a receptionist at the front of the thing who can field calls from your employer Oh, very, they're just in the meet. Firth Industries. Yeah, Firth Industries. I'm sorry, it's an intense brainstorming session.

Yeah, exactly. I don't want to interrupt the flow of ideas. They're really in a good place right now. Yeah, yeah. I can't believe this has turned into a sex idea. This was never a sex idea. This was a sleep idea. But sleep, but Charles, as we get older,

we know sleep is the most important thing of all. I know, exactly. Far more preferable. But, Charles, here's the other thing. I mean, I am a really devoted, as you probably recall, I'm a really devoted napper. Yes, you love your nap. This is why I thought you'd be a ground floor investor.

I used to do the 20-minute power nap, like, almost daily. When we did the Chaser tour, everyone used to laugh at me if you're going to sleep shortly before going on stage. And I'd occasionally go to sleep under the desks in the Chaser Production Office. You occasionally go to sleep during this podcast. Yeah, every second episode, some might say. That's sort of on you. But I think that's good.

of us get enough sleep it's actually one of the major to be serious for seconds one of the major health issues of our time so as part of this structure so this could actually get what india is for medicaid yeah it could and the receptionist could check your phone yes and wake you of something genuinely important happens which it won't no it won't like it never does imagine just paying for three hours of no notifications oh my god knowing that if something's on fire or something i will actually get notified and we could link it in with the social media ban that's about And make it a whole... There'd be no Wi-Fi in this space.

Yeah, what we do is we say to the government, this is your actual media... This is the mental health. This is the media health... The media... Yeah, social media ban meets mental health, meets getting better sleep. I mean, this is...

I mean, for the politicians in camera... This should be a whole government department. Meets extramarital affairs. I mean, it's really got everything. Yeah, and we include a prayer room for the lives. You can have a prayer room in there too. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's... This is wonderful. But this also, I mean, Charles, you know, atomised worlds, this is the place for connection of whatever sort. Yes. Religious? Well, no, except for an online connection. No online connection.

Physical connection. The whole thing we were talking about the other day is that people are craving actually meeting up in person. So you can have a little coffee lounge where you could go and have a little chat afterwards or something and then maybe find out your next hinge partner or whatever. This is very good. What do we call the business? What about the Soffatil?

Health? Yeah, we just call it the Health Department. We Health. We've got a meeting at the Health Department. The Department of Health. Oh, no, actually, that's the one thing that no one will ever question. Parliament House. No, it's a medical consultation.

Oh, yes. I can't go into details. I've got an appointment with a doctor. At the Resch Clinic. And this is the point. I don't normally mention this, Charles. I don't like to be ignited. Yeah.

But as you know, I do actually have a doctorate. Oh, yeah. You just get lots of people. Doctor Knight Industries. But what you do, this is the great thing. The labour source to run all these places would be otherwise unemployed PhD graduates from arts faculties. And they're all doctors. Yeah, they're all doctors.

Yeah, oh, sorry, she's with the doctor at the moment. And they can write a doctor certificate? I had a consultation. They wouldn't say, this person is suffering from extessential. No, just, just I. Dread. Make it a euphemism. I wouldn't, that's fine.

You know what you're employers. Any half this employee is like, oh, look, you've got to see the doctor, that's fine. Yeah. Now take half a day off. It's fine. Yes. And genuinely, come and see me. I've got to go and see the doctors.

I am a doctor. Yes. Of creative writing. So I'm perfectly placed to write your note. I'm not going to lie for you. No. But I can say I have consulted with Charles. Yes.

And he is undergoing a range of complicated. circumstances. I recommend a lot of rest. Yes, it means he is unable to work today. Yes. Because you've explained to me that you don't feel like it. Yeah, that's all right. Do you existential angst or dread or having read the news?

Yeah. I mean, having read the news is enough of a reason. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's fine. Especially the news about how AI is about the sack us all. That's right. That's right. And no AI can take over this business.

It's a completely AI. No, this is a completely offline business. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's... It's actually a good idea. Yeah, let's do it. Podcast at chaser.com.

If you want to invest in the health department. Yeah. The doctors. The doctors. The doctors. The doctor's office. The doctor's office. That's good.

That's good. Okay. Ping pong tables. Yeah, ping pong tables. For stress. Yeah. Just to be clear, for a note of seriousness at the end of this, Charles and I do take mental health.

Genuinely are very seriously. Oh, we take mental health. Yeah. I thought you were going to say, we do take our. listeners money. I know. That too. Have you seen the subscription plans?

No, mental health is something that we take really seriously. Yeah, no. And this genuinely, this is the beautiful thing about the idea. This genuinely will help. I cannot tell you how much I would like to spend a day at this place.

You know what the problem, though, is dumb. What? If it genuinely helps, it'll never happen. No one's ever going. They're not going to back it. Oh, no. Charles, I know a way to make this happen tomorrow. What?

just off a gambling. It's just one room with the pokey's. Yeah, that's right. Because if there's one thing that blocks out the rest of the world, it's the pokey's. A pokey room. Yeah. Yeah, called the doctors. Up and tomorrow.

Yeah. We'll feel bad about ourselves. But that wasn't matter. We'll be rich. Yeah. And if we feel bad about ourselves, book in another day at the doctors. You're a genius, Charles. Thank you.

Thank you very much. We're part of the Oconiclass Network. See you at the doctor's office.