The Chaser Report - The Epstein Wars Begin

Episode Date: March 1, 2026

Donald Trump has dropped bombs of peace onto Iran, in the latest desperate attempt to bring the news away from whatever is hidden in the Epstein files. Charles and Dom react to the fact that once again, humanity is doing crusades in the Middle East, and ponder what this all means for Australia.---Listen AD FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. And Charles, things have changed since our last episode of this podcast. For we, Charles, are at war, or are we at war, Charles? Or is this an effort for world peace? As Donald Trump, the man who has ended eight wars and received the Nobel Peace Prize, not for the Nobel Committee, but from someone who won the Nobel Peace Prize,

We'll tell you this is an action designed for world peace. Yeah. As one person put it, it's almost as if the FIFA Peace Prize isn't worth anything. It's been noted, Charles, that by you a second ago. Well, for people who, I don't know, have been living in a cave or been blissfully, well, maybe, you know, at Mardi Gras and just haven't switched on the news. Or haven't come down from March. There are some people out there who probably still coming down from the parade.

Who had a blast of a night, not knowing that there was a whole lot of other blasts going on halfway around the world. Yeah, no, but Trump basically seems to have launched a sort of war on everything. It's sort of like the next season of war on everything, isn't it? Series four. Hey, never made. Venezuela, Greenland. Where else does he attack? The Clintons?

The Clintons. Charles, I will give Donald Trump considerable credit on the way into this podcast as we go to the ads. Just reflect on these sheer length. that this man is willing to go to to distract from the Epstein Files. Yes. Yes, it's Operation Epic Fury, which actually has the same initials as Epstein files.

It's actually true. You're the first person to notice that? I'm pretty sure it's really good. What it is is in the Pentagon, they went, well, we've got to come up with something which reminds us the purpose of this, which is the Epstein Files. Let's call it Epic Fury.

I mean, I assume it had its origins, which with Trump at some point going, Epstein file. Epic Fury. It does sound like the latest version of the street fighter video game series, doesn't it? But look, I want to play a clip because there's been a lot of punditry, but there's only been one person who I think has just blown it out of the water

in terms of punterry. He's a lot of bombing metaphors, Charles, in this podcast. It's Dr. Fouad Izadi. He's a professor, I think, based in Tehran. Speaking on... Speaking on... Al Jazeera, I think it was. Well, there's your first mistake, Charles,

watching Al Jazeera. Trying to work out what's going on in the Middle East. But, look, I'm just going to play a short clip from him, and I think he said it best. They are fighting the Epstein class that either rape little girls or bomb little girls. This is the government that we are witnessing.

I think that's... Look, I think we owe it to the people of Iran to just talk about the Epstein files. It's clearly a distraction from the Epstein files. There's been a lot of revelations and a lot of people asking Charles about specifically the redacted files that clearly are linked to Donald Trump. I mean, there are some very concerning revelation. The sheer number of terrible things this man managed to do.

Yes. During the course of one life, Jeffrey Epstein. Yes. Who knew everybody. It was emailing everybody, influencing everybody. I woke up this morning and fell down a horrible rabbit hole of just his interactions with doctors at Mount Sinai Hospital. Yes.

Including a woman he used to date back when he, dated age-appropriate women, who was a leading surgeon. I think she was a surgeon who was quite sophisticated in her work against breast cancer. But she helped him cover up all this stuff. All these treatments were given to the girls. At one point, one of the doctors in these files was getting the girls treated for gonorrhea in a public health facility so that they wouldn't have to report Epstein's name as the person or someone that Epstein knew as the source of the gonorrhea that they had.

It's just terrible. It's so gross. It's terrible, and it all comes back to Trump as well. Like, if you look at, like, just the brief summary of the Epstein files, and then we will get back to the war, even though the war is the distraction. But just, I just want to summarize some of the things that Epstein, that implicates Trump in the Epstein files. So, first of all, Trump flew multiple times on the private plane, despite saying, quote, I was never on Epstein's plane. He flight at least 17 times, according to the files. in the 1990s. Abuse allegations. There are multiple allegations of abuse. Now, there are allegations.

They're not proven in court, but, you know, there's a lot of stuff to investigate. There is, there is one that's a little bit more verified. It's a court document that mentions a 14-year-old girl taken to Mara Lago in 1994, who said Epstein introduced her to Trump, with Epstein apparently elbowing Trump and asking, this is a good one right, to which Trump smiled and nodded. And that's according, the source on that is PBS, which is, a reliable. It's the public call.

You say it's reliable. I think you find that Trump administration's been shutting it down. Just reminding people that Virginia Juffray made multiple allegations against Trump

and claimed that she worked there as a teenager at Trump's Mara Lago Club in a 2021 interview with Virginia Joufrey where she was recruited to work for Epstein. So a clear line between

Virginia Droufrey who's brought down Prince Andrew, Epstein and Trump. And it goes on and on and on. And the rest. There's just everything, everything, everything. Now, keep that in mind, but we have to talk about how things are changed.

And first of all, I just want to ask, Dom, do you think Prince Andrew is just a little bit annoyed that he personally doesn't have a country that he could bomb? I mean, you think, you know, he's sort of looking back to the sort of 15, 1600s. You know, he could have gone on a crusade. Like, this is essentially the same as what they used to do with the Crusades, isn't it? Like you go to the Middle East and you distract the population from whatever shit is going on at home, but getting everyone to go and fight in the Middle East. I think he'd be very, feeling very hard done by.

And I say that for several reasons. Firstly, because I think that's his just constant feeling the entire time, is it? He's been hard done by with whatever happens. But you've got to remember, he's mummy's favourite. He was Mummy's favourite. And Mummy would have bombed someone. She was technically the commander of the British Armed Forces, so she could have helped him out. And Brother Charles is doing absolutely nothing for him.

on this. Okay, Charles, there is so much to even think about with this war. The first thing to note, Donald Trump is doing this for peace, for world peace, Charles. And therefore, we cannot be at war. This isn't a war, okay? Forget what you know about the idea of war. Yes, there's been lots of bombings. People have been killed.

The leader of Iran, the Ayatollah has been killed, along with lots of top brass. They managed to sort of get them all at once while they are all. Lots of senior Iranian officials were meeting at the bunker. They did the bunker buster on it. But this is not a war. It's really important to know this is to stop war and to create peace. And in some ways, America is the victim in all, really. American Israel, they're the victims.

Well, Charles, you have to realize that this is above all. And my friend who works at a national law professor at the university would disagree with you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is an act of self-defense. Yes, exactly. Benjamin Netanyahu has been warning us that Iran, Iran, Preemptive self-defense. It's a preemptive self-defense. And Iran is weeks away from a nuclear weapon.

And they have been to years. And Netanyahu, they've been away. 2012 he first started presenting evidence on this. No, I went to Iran in 2005. And they were weeks away from getting a nuclear bomb then. And even though, Charles, even though last year in June, Donald Trump bombed their nuclear facilities and buried it all underground. But I am weeks away from getting my basement cleaned up as well. Oh, weeks away.

Waste away. Actually, your basement's also buried under a large amount of crap. But when Trump bombed the nuclear facility, very successfully, with almost no blowback, for him anyway, the people who were there, I think, had some pretty significant blowback. All of the stuff's been buried under rubble. They have literally never been further away. Unless you think that somehow America's bunker buster bombs

fused all the bits of nuclear whatever into some giant megabom down there, they're not surely on the verge of nuclear weapons. But also. The particular moment, are they? I love how... Over the last couple of years, really. Like, actually probably three or four years, you know, Israel and the US have just been slowly taking out all the top military commanders in Iran,

really dismantling Iran's ability to defend itself in any sort of level of way. And then they go in and fully strike. Like, it's so extraordinary how there's just no... I mean, at least, look, I'm sure Alvin. needs he's come out and condemned this as being against the, against international law and condemned the attack. Well, he was the first world leader to actually issue a statement. I didn't see his full statement.

I just saw that he was standing with the people of Iran. So I'm assuming he's really come out swinging against attacks. Against Iran. Against Iran or against Iran. No, no, he's standing. No, he said, we stand with the people of Iran, Dom. No, he said that. Yes, he's come out against the Iranian regime,

which there isn't much left. anymore. Do you think he rang up John Howard? Because he's clearly, you know, wants to just cosplay John Howard. I mean, do you think maybe actually Australia today became officially a vassal state of the United States of America just with a slightly better health care? Like, do you think that's actually what's going on? Like, do we have any ability to stand up in the world at all? Like, is there just no distance at all? Is that it? Is it over? I'm going to quote, I'll tell you what Albo said. Here we go.

Let's go to Anthony Albanese. Australia stands with the brave people of Iran and their struggle against depression. They've been a destabilising force. So he's against Trump. He's against depression. No, he's actually, as it happens, this is very, very confusing, John. He's in favour.

He's in favour of liberating them by bombing them. Right. So that's how it works. He supports US action to prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon and to prevent Iran continuing to threaten international peace and security. So, I mean, again, you've got to understand, Charles, the threat to peace is Iran and not the people who bombed Iran. Yeah, yeah. This weekend.

So it's the violent tyrannical leaders who are the peacemakers. And, like, it's just so confusing, isn't it? It is very confusing. Because when you're bombing people for peace, you'd think that that was the warmongering thing to them. This is the adjustment you need to make in your head, Charles, is that these are peace bombs. Most bombs are war bombs or bomb bombs Well, Iranium, all those drones that were hitting the hotels in Dubai

They were, I know people who narrowly escaped those drones Which were hitting people who only wanted to fly on Emirates, Charles. Yes, exactly. Just wanted to move around the world Without the drones coming at them. The Chaser Report More news Less often

But Charles, there has been an Australian government comment Which is on the money here which is actually from DFAT. DFAT says there is a risk of reprisal attacks and further escalation across the region. DFAT seems to think that Iran will not somehow following these bombings magically transition to a peaceful democracy that we can work with and there might actually be greater instability and greater threats. If we're looking at this through the potential threat to the Australian citizens, are we more safe

or less safe than we were before the first bomb? I don't to answer that. I think what we've got to do is we've got to go back. and look throughout history at all the times that democracy has happened after a foreign country or countries have bombed a place. Like, it's just, okay, we've done that. We've gone over all the countries that. Where you attack a place and then it suddenly. Because it is like, I mean, do we call Iraq a democracy?

A functioning democracy? Do we call, well, remember Vietnam. That was a very famous. I mean, yeah. The democracy that followed. North Korea? Did that figure out? I mean, Charles, here's a pretty interesting take on how this works.

Yep. In the end, the so-called nation builders wrecked far more nations than they built. And the interventionists were intervening in complex societies that they did not even understand themselves. I mean, this person is noting that this sort of action tends to make things worse. That was said by Donald Trump last year, just instead of. That's great. That's very nice. Because that sort of talk nowadays would be treasonous.

You can't. Well, Donald Trump. You shouldn't quote old Donald Trump. Donald Trump. One of the most consistent policy positions that Donald Trump has ever had. And I say this, bearing in mind, the very few consistent policy positions that he's had throughout his career. We know he loves tariffs. Yes.

And he hates regime change. He has always been very against regime. And when I say always, I mean, until yesterday. And he has always, he came into even this campaign condemning regime change and saying he can't, he wouldn't, he would not be the regime change president. Until now. His explicit goal is the regime change. But here's the thing. The Epstein files just must be horrendous.

Like, imagine, you know, like going throughout your entire life, you're sort of 78 years of your life thinking one thing. Or is he 80 now? He might be 18. 78. Yeah, he's getting on. And then turning around and vault facing within the course of about a week, just to cover something up.

Some more Trump quotes here. We must have bad in the failed policy of nation. building and regime change that Hillary Clinton pushed in Iraq, Libya, Egypt and Syria, Trump 2016. Toppling regimes without sufficient plans creates power vacuums that are filled simply by terrorists. Trump wanted to break the cycle of regime change and abandon the policy of reckless regime change favoured by my opponent. Going on.

Our policy of never-ending war regime change in nation building is being replaced by the clear-eyed pursuit of American interests. So you have to ask yourself, what happened? What's in the interesting, fellas? That's all you have to ask. Like literally. There is one. And then why would you, if you were Anthony Aberneasy,

why would you not only back in this horrendous act that's clearly going to fail and be on the wrong side of history, why would you then also be complicit in covering up the Epstein files? Like literally, by supporting this strike, Alba has now exposed himself as somebody who's part of the fucking Epstein class. Like he's become one of the people who either rapes girls. or bombs them. But the difference between this campaign and previous campaigns,

it must be noted. Don Trump must have due credit for what he's done here. Because what's happened in the past is that regime change is meant boots on the ground. It's meant putting people into Afghanistan, troops, into Afghanistan, into Iraq, and actually committing to trying to go in Vietnam, going and change the government. It doesn't ever work. But at least you put a huge number of people in there on the ground to try and make it happen.

That isn't what's going to happen here. Trump's solution to that is. to say, well, people of Iran, go and take it. This is your big chance. Probably your only chance in generations. Get in there and topple that regime. But I love it because... Go on, guys.

Over the top. So, Khomeini was, I believe, 86 years old, was he? 88. You know, I'm not sure Khomeini was the person who was actually running the Iranian military. Like, do you think he was the one sort of in Australia? Like, they've taken out the figurehead, right? But do you think that there is a power vacuum? Do you think, like, aren't there sort of six or seven people who still exist?

Well, who, like... A lot of the key figures, I mean, this is the thing that's interesting about the timing. And for all the suspicion of the broader geopolitics in the Epstein files and Netanyahu's problems domestically within Israel, the CIA did manage to identify that a lot of the key guys were at the same building at the same time. So the head of the Revolutionary Guard, I think the defense minister, the head of the army, a lot of these very senior leaders in Iran were all killed in the story. strike. So they did take out quite a lot of people in the one particular attack on the

mission accomplished. Well, you put up a banner. In the words of George Bush, mission accomplished. What happens now is the question because... Well, just reports in the past hour have been that, according to Reuters, Pakistan has just bombed Afghanistan. Oh, really? Yeah.

So, you know, I mean, the idea that... No one's going to notice. No one's going to notice. Yeah. So, I mean, I presume it's in support of Iran. But, you know, because the US have bases in Afghanistan. Oh, no, they don't anymore. Yeah, why did they do that?

I don't know. Okay, so let me give you some... Oh, maybe it's the other way around. Maybe. So what's the one thing we know about Iran's revolution and the people, the fanatics who've run it for decades? The thing I've been reflecting on since this happened is Salman Rushdie, who wrote a novel.

Yes. He wrote a novel that was condemned, had a jihad, had a fat well put against it by the former Ayatollah. Yes. The Ithala Khomeini, not Khmerini, yep. And the Iranians were pretty chill about that after a month or two, and they let that slide, didn't they? I'm just thinking, if that mentality applied to this aftermath,

this is going to go for quite a long time, is what I'm thinking. No. No. If one guy who wrote a book is pursued for decades by this regime. But do you think the Americans will just tie, isn't it just a little bit boring? Like you've had golf four, I mean, even just in the last 30 years, 40 years, had Golf War I, Gulf War I, Gulf War II. Oh, you think this is the...

You know, it's sort of, just from a TV perspective, a bit repetitive. It's just, you know, it's clearly going to go to shit. A whole lot of Americans will end up dying. Like, you know, like, definitely, definitely shit. You think we need a complete reboot? From a broader perspective, this is the Crusades, like, season 1000. So you think they need to do a full reboot of the Crusades and go back all the way to... I think they're just getting repetitive.

No, like the Christopher Nolan Batman. Back to the origin story? Find a more worthy opponent. Put Liam Neeson into it? Like, it's such a sort of, it's like... I don't know, it would be the same as if Australia, you know, invaded Norfolk Island at this point. I mean, to be fair to Donald Trump again,

and I'm really trying to, you know, give him credit for all the great things he's been doing. He's also trying to topple Cuba at the same time. Oh, yeah, that's a no one. As this all goes on, there's a blockade of oil. I mean, the Epstein files must be just terrific. If Iran isn't enough to keep them off the back. And Venezuela and Cuba. And, I mean, Greenland, I don't think Greenland should be thinking of all.

Yeah, I don't think they're in the clear yet. You've asked about Albo's motives. And I think there's a clear lesson for Australia in all this. Oh, yeah. And that is, I think we need to be very clear. If Donald Trump wants to build a hotel on the Gold Coast, I think it might be wise to give him what he wants. And let's be really clear.

It's the one place where a Trump... Casino and Resort would actually be an improvement to what's on offer. But I think we all know why Trump wants to build a Trump hotel on the Gold Coast. That's where schoolies is healed. We are part of the Iconiclass Network. Catch you tomorrow.