The Chaser Report - The Most "F*cked" Ceasefire

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

In breaking news, Jeff Bezos has cancelled his wedding plans! Oh and a little something about the ceasefire that is isn't is isn't is isn't on. But much more importantly, Jeff Bezos' wedding. Plus, Charles explains the "Genius" new bill that will accelerate the end of the American empire.---VOTE OPTICS FOR A LOGIE: https://vote.tvweeklogies.com.au/Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] our caviar addiction: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Jacea Report with Dom and Charles. Everything's over. It is all good. Peace in our time, Charles. Peace in our time. Donald Trump has declared the following on truth social. Our favourite network. Love it. It's because it's where you not only get the truth, but you get to be sociable as well. I like that. It has been fully agreed by and between Israel and Iran that there will be a complete and total ceasefire,

but it says that it won't take place until they've wound down their military mission still in progress, which I suppose means that, in fact, there is not peace in our time or a ceasefire yet. Well, yes, a few hours after he posted that to Truth Social, Iran came out and said that they didn't know what he was talking about. And they had not actually agreed to anything, but that they would stand down if Israel also stood down. Isn't it just standard to not understand what Donald Trump's talking about on truth, social? I think that's sort of standard response. The principle is it's opposite stay all the time on truth's socially.

Yeah. Yeah. Even in the name of the site. All right. So nevertheless, peace in our time. It's all over. We can go about our business. It's all fine.

Iran has, since we last talked. Well, workers got to get started on the Gaza Strip golf course. Yeah. The Trump Gaza Strip golf course. Sure. The Riviera, the Palestinian Riviera. We had a listener write in an ask when his work going to start on the golf course. And it did strike me that when the history books are being written,

maybe this whole conflict will be known as the Gulf War. Oh, God. Let's have some ads and recover from that pun. Although, Charles, I mean, if you want to put the best possible spin on a relentless campaign, the more bombing there is, the easier it is to build a golf course. I mean, if there's sort of, if everything that's on the ground already has been removed, and there's just sort of rubble you can bulldoze out of there, easy to turn it into a golf course.

Harder in there's buildings there. I think the Iranian bunker could be a fantastic. And you could, the hole in one. No, this is very tasteless, Tom. But it's not our taste. We're just projecting the tastelessness of Donald Trump's plans for Gaza. So literally the hole on the 18th grain is into the bunker bus to hole. Yeah, that's right.

And there's a centrifuge at the bottom. You've got to retrieve your ball. Oh, God. Yeah. Can we talk about the other. huge story, which is in some ways bigger than the war. I'm kind of over the war. The 12-day war, Donald Trump wants to call it. No.

But except that it's not a war. Well, I think the whole thing is it's not about, everyone says that, oh, it's always about the journey rather than how we got there. Right. For Trump, it's the opposite, right? It's about once you get there, it's not about the journey. Like, to get to the point where you can say, oh, there's a ceasefire, everything solved, all he's had to do is completely destroy the international order and return the world to a state of lawlessness that we haven't seen for centuries?

Oh, not this again, Charles. I mean, I read someone we know, Ben Saul, international law professor from the University of Sydney, leading expert on these sorts of matters. Does he agree with me? He makes the argument that if any country can simply attack another based on preemptively thinking that there might maybe be some weapon which might maybe be used against them.

He says any country can do anything. Yeah, I know that, well, he must have listened to our podcast yesterday. Because that was my point yesterday. I think the professor of law or whatever he is. Good on him. Yeah. Good on him. He's on him.

He's on him. He's on him. Nice to see that you're a listener, Ben. I mean, the only thing I'd say about this, Charles, just a small point. Look, I hate to argue with Ben, who's an eminent scholar who I've interviewed before. And you, who is not an eminent scholar, who I've had to talk to you far more than anyone should. A doctorate in pundit. A leading thinker.

Yeah. Leading think is according to you. Yeah. The notion that the instrument. national rules-based order. I'm a thought leader. You are, sure. I'm a thought leader. Sure. I'm a thought follower. The idea that any sort of international rules-based order really constrained countries from doing what they wanted to do before the Iran attack is the height of optimism and

revisionism, right? Like, oh, which were the countries that weren't doing the things that they wanted to do, weren't invading the countries they wanted to invade before Donald Trump did that? I mean, it certainly wasn't something Putin or Netanyahu, was it? Well, I think the point is, though, they at least needed figlet. leaves. They needed to get a whole bunch of fig leaves to do things, whereas now it's not going to be that. It's going to be literally like, oh, but the US did it to Iran. They just went and bombed because they wanted to. Well, as long as the people who do it, Charles, start their own social network where they can say whatever they want and give any evidence-free

declarations about anything, then it's called truth social. You're misinterpreting. The reason why America has gone off and bombed overseas is because Trump was weak. internally. Like it wasn't that he had, you know, this wonderful communications mechanism that allowed him to sway his entire population. It's because his population was very rapidly turning against him. Oh. And he needed a massive distraction away from, from, like, that's the history of foreign conquest. I don't recall at all any domestic problems for it. Can you remind me because I'd given all the war, I've forgotten all of that. I can't remember. Yeah, there was something there with, was Elon Musk and the, oh, it was the island? That seems

like so long ago, the Jeffrey Epstein stuff. No, no, that doesn't matter. Doesn't matter anymore. No, no, but the big... He's a war. He's both, Charles, and it's not every day you both win a war with one bombing raid and get to win the Nobel Peace Prize for peace in our time. In the one action, you blow something up to get peace.

It's brilliant. When's that been done before? Well, Hiroshima. They get the Nobel Peace Prize for bombing Hiroshima? No, but they got a bomb and then peace. I suppose. Anyway, let's talk about something else. So, the war's over.

We've again buried the lead, Dom, which is that Jeff Bezos, who should be allowed to do anything he wants, right? Like, he's one of the richest men in the world. Oh, yes, this is now more important, isn't it? Yes. Iran was so four hours ago. And remembering that we have ended a state where it's just might his right, where there's no rule of law anymore.

He should just be able to do what he wants with his money. Who would dare say, No, to Jeff Bezos, a man who not only has space ships, but the ability to bring you any product you want immediately, as long as it's really cheap and comes from China. The people of Venice. So he was wanting to hold his flashy wedding in that big, you know, piazza, what's it called? You know, with the cathedral on one side. St. Mark's Square, was he? Yeah, yeah.

Really? He wanted to book it all out for himself, right? I'll just book Venice. Just the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, and so we're in Venice. Oh, no, just the whole city is what I want. So, and everyone hated that idea, obviously, except for Jeff and his fiance. And presumably the city leaders were like, money, great.

And so they held a big protest there. Well, actually, it's been building up for days. But for some reason, no one's really been paying attention to these protests. But, and it's fantastic because it's actually visually, like, if you send up a drone and you make a formation of, like, get stuff to base. in St Mark Square with, you know, human beings. It actually looks really cool. But he's just announced just this morning that he's calling off that plan.

Oh, my goodness. Hold it somewhere else. Do you know what? Do you recall what the elected monarch of Venice was known as? It was the Doge. The Doge. He was the Doge. Amaya Elon Musk hasn't tried to bring that back.

And actually, fascinating story about the Doge, which was the Doge had almost complete power over everything in Venice, right? Like, he was sort of like an absolute dictator. Yeah. But he wasn't allowed to leave the palace. Yes. Isn't that a brilliant idea? He was a prisoner to the city of Venice while he was the Doge.

So the whole point being that you can make a whole lot of decisions or any decisions you want, but you won't be able to, like, there's no point in being corrupt and engaging in graft or anything like in self-enrichment because actually... There's no self anymore. There's no self. You've actually eliminated the... thing. And this, the rule of the doge was, I mean, led to Venice being a sort of naval, well, the first naval superpower across the entire globe and then also lasted for centuries.

Many centuries. But Charles, the same thing's been achieved by Donald Trump, a slightly different route. He's just simply combined public and private. So yes, he's not a prisoner anymore, but, and yes, he can do corruption and graft, but he doesn't distinguish between his interest. in the interest of America. So it's in America's interest, as defined by the president for, you know, the Trump organization to have all these crypto schemes going on and all these deals with foreign governments. That's America first, Charles, because America is Trump.

There's no distinction anymore. So have we talked, we haven't talked about the genius act either, have we? We can get to that. But just on Jeff Bezos, there's one thing I want to note, which is that he still had a foam party on a yacht with a foam cannon. And if you've ever wanted to feel contempt for one of the world's richest people, look at some vision at the foam party where you've basically got a bunch of 15-60-year-old

billionaires in their acolytes behaving like spring breakers and I'm very pleased to say Charles that I know from having research to dictionary terrible ideas, not the plug there, that foam parties tend to lead to incredible skin irritation.

Oh, because it's just so... Yeah, they are a terrible idea. They get in all the orifices. They're very unpleasant and so probably right about now Bezos and team are going to be itching itchy and feeling terrible and having discharges and sort of weepy sores and stuff. Oh, no. Oh, what a, oh, that's terrible.

So he can't you have his party in Venice? Can't they just order some, you know, moisturising cream off Amazon to come to the yacht in Venice? Yeah. So anyway, this will be remembered as a moment where ordinary Venetians stood up against Jeff Bezos, and you do what they said? It's funny because my son asked me this morning, Dad, what would you do with $24 billion? Oh, great question. I'm not sure why the number 24 came up.

I think it's because he thinks that that would make me the richest man in Australia. Would it? Well, I think it might be the richest man. I don't think he'd make me the richest person in Australia. Oh, because of Gina. Well, I think there's several billionaires. Isn't there that very private woman who lives in Sydney, but is heir to some Italian fortune or something?

Absolutely no idea. Anyway, but $24 billion, and I was sort of going, oh, well, I'd set up this thing to sort of help world peace. And I'd, you know, because when you're a parent, you want to, you know, sort of pretend. You want to appear like you care. You know, I didn't say, oh, I'd hold a foam party immediately on my yacht. Yeah, it's a $50 million, by the way. Only $50 million. Or is it $500.

No, so $500 million. It's so nauseating. I've got a bit of super yacht gossip, actually. Oh, yeah. Because a friend of mine is currently off in. Europe on a super yacht. But the yacht that he's on is only worth $50 million, right?

It's a bit of... Apparently, within the yacht-owning community of Sydney, there's a little bit of scorn for Jamie Packer's super yacht. Oh, well, that wasn't that an icebreaker? Well, it cost him... The Arctic P or whatever? I don't know, which...

I don't know what it was called. You might have a new one, yeah. But it was cost 250... This is a few years ago. Apparently, he made this yacht that cost $250 million, or he ordered this yacht and it was delivered cost $250 million, and it had, as part of it set up, a submarine. Oh.

Like, so not only do you get, I think it had a helipad and stuff like that. They've all got a helipad. But you could also just, like, go down under the ocean, right? And it was widely seen, apparently, amongst the sort of Sydney set that this was a bit excessive. Oh, I thought miniature submarines were out of fashion after the whole Titanic thing. Anyway, so no, this is Coru, the super yacht, $500 million, as you say. And it's just the fact that he can afford to spend $500, I don't want to order from Amazon anymore.

Like, every time you order for Amazon, you're paying a tiny proportion towards this idiocy. Yeah. I'm getting too earnest, aren't I? Sorry. It's wonderful. I kind of feel like he can have his billions because the one thing, I mean, I think he should be taxed into oblivion.

But, you know, like the problem with being Jeff Bezos, you have to be Jeff Bezos. The whole problem that all these billionaires face is that they have to also be the person who they are. Imagine being Elon Musk. Which is worse than who we are as human beings, which is nice, well-rounded, good-looking thought leaders. Sure.

Yeah. You don't see them running podcasts, too. You don't have the time. Oh, gosh. The number of things that are now normal in the world that seem really wrong. is troubling. Okay, and to end this,

like we'll go to a break and then we'll do the genius hack as the last part of this thing. Because if you want to talk about things that are wrong with the world, this is a great way to end the episode. The Chaser Report. More news.

Less often. Yeah, look, I'm coming down with a cold. I'm miserable. The world sucks is where I'm at today. Hey, it's a daily podcast. You get the moody days as well. Yeah. Actually, Dom and I are actually sitting about three and a half meters apart from each other.

Yeah, we had to get a long microphone cable because of, it's back to the COVID days. Yeah, you're socially distancing. I am. I don't want to infect you with my virus and or mood. It's actually lucky because I've got B.O. as well. That's been the case, more than a thousand episodes. What are you talking about? So the genius act, have you heard about the genius act?

No, I haven't. Oh, right. So this is the genius egg, but we'll definitely, and I know I make a lot of predictions, but this one I'm pretty fucking certain of, will definitely end up bankrupting the United States. Definitely. Yeah. All right.

Which is the Genius Act allows the US Treasury to buy cyber currency, like Bitcoin and stuff like that. And they will then issue a stable coin, which links it to the US dollar. It's like a Bitcoin, but yeah, it's worth one US dollar at any point in time. So that if you buy these sort of, you know, you can basically buy government-backed cyber currency now from the US, right? Once this act passes, right?

And the whole point is it will lead to a short-term absolute surge in the price of Bitcoin. As we know, Bitcoin has a diminishing rate of production, right? Yeah, yeah. There will only ever be 37 million Bitcoin in the world once all of them are mined in about 50 years time or whatever. And that's why it always got. goes up, right? Yep. But if you look at, you know, even that design, you sort of go, actually, at the end of

the day, it's a Ponzi scheme, right? Like, it's definitely going to go up, up, up, up. And then at some point, because it relies only, like, it's got no inherent worth beyond that somebody else thinks it's worth something. Yeah, yeah. So the whole point, if you're into the cybercurrency is you want everything to be going up, which is great to sort of get, say, the whole US Treasury backing the whole thing. Oh, God.

But then at the end of the day, like it doesn't matter if the whole thing collapses because your whole, as we saw, some other suck it. Suddenly the US government becomes the bag holder. That's terrifying. Yes. So that's what's going to happen. So I hope Australia is not, are we getting involved? Or should we get some bitcoins and we don't miss out?

Goodness me. Yes. We should stop mining all this useless gold that they're. Yeah, forget gold. Gold's so non-cyber. It's so out of date. Yes. So the other use of cybercurrency is to help terrorists and drug dealers launder money.

Well, that's what it is. I mean, when you say it didn't there's linked to anything, it is linked to that. $105,000 US dollars is the cost of one Bitcoin at the moment? Well, at least it'll sort of accelerate the collapse of the US. Like I feel like, you know, did you see that wonderful analysis by that Chinese academic out of, I think he was at Beijing University, I mean, it was pointing out that, you know, America has sort of had this amazing economy, but its actual sort of, you know, useful measures of prosperity have all massively declined over the past 30 years. And they're all, you could account for it entirely by the run up in all these military conflicts and wars that they enter

and just have to pay fucking shit tons of money for. I feel like we're in a sort of accelerationist phase of that trend. Like, we sort of, it's sort of end days for the American Embar. Or do you think this is just the beginning? I'm just, just, can't get my head around the fact that the US is so blithely tying its economy to Bitcoin. You're still on that. I mean, it's, okay.

You just look really depressed. Do you need to go and lie down, I think I do. But, no, but in all sincerity, it just feels as though, like, it just feels as though it's a Ponzi scheme of shit. It's like, it's like, or a jenga tower where every Indian individual block is actually a stall? Well, I think what we're seeing is the expression of a post-nationalist United States government. Like, you know, there was a period post-World War II where the government was really run

on behalf of people who believed in the idea of that there is a nation state called the United States and we should run it in the United States as best interests. And then, you know, that sort of Reagan-era economics took over and suddenly capitalists were told, no, no, no, no, no, you're actually running things on behalf of your companies. And suddenly the government sort of also took this notion that actually it's not about the United States. It's about capitalism being the most important thing. And if we look after capitalism, then, you know, America can look after itself. We don't do that anymore.

And I think now what's happened is the government has been completely taken over by people who couldn't give two shits about the concept of United States as a nation. It's just like, in what way can it serve my own corporate interests? No, I mean, it's not even corporate. Because actually, I'm a sort of global citizen that just happens to have a postbox in Delaware. It's just oligarchy. It's just pure and simple government by the billionaires for the billionaires. And that means nation state barriers are relevant where they're helpful to the billionaires. Yes.

And not where they're globalists and they're not. And all that, I mean, it's just a return to, isn't it just neo-feudalism? In essence? Yes. I wish I'd been invited to Jeff Bezos's phone party. We'd have loaded up the phone. I mean, in this world,

no, but in this world of ours, if all that matters is which billionaires you're mates with, shouldn't we all become mates with billionaires? Suck up to the rich lords, to the, to the feudal, futile. Yes. We could become courtiers. Yes.

Isn't that much better to be the sidekick of it? I mean, look at Thomas Cromwell. Yeah. Sure it went badly for him in the end. He had a few good years before he got executed by King Henry the 8th, didn't he? I've read Wolf Hall. It had a great time before he was killed in the Tower of London. Yeah, but we all die in the end anyway.

Yeah, yeah. So look, if any other guys... It's sooner than than others, you know. If there are any billionaires listening who would like us to be their vassals, yeah. There's an auction on. Podcast at chaser.com.com. You may the best vassal win our services and support and undying loyalty

until you execute us, I suppose. I am in a bad mood. I will go and lie down. Go to bid. We're part of the iconic class network. Catch you tomorrow. Thank you.