The Chaser Report - The Oscars, But For Podcasts

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

In a self-indulgent special, Dom Knight is joined by Producer Lachlan as they celebrate the fact this very podcast is in the running for a podcast award. Find out who we are up against, who we paid off, and how low our expectations are in this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report. Charles is still sick, but we are very happy to welcome back producer Lachlan, the man tasked with putting this thing together every single day. Bless you for that, Lachlan. I'm amazed you're willing to come on it. No, please.

It's fun to be on the show and not telling everyone that we're playing another replay episode for once. Yeah, this is not a replay episode. So this is live and this is a big day in the history of, look, I think Australia, I think that we can say the whole of Australia, not just podcasting, not just us, because today is the 2024 Australian podcast awards. And I mean, look, I know there's news happening in the world. None of that matters today. Today is only about podcasting. And can you remind me, Lachlan, who's nominated in the best comedy category again? I can't remember.

It's a pretty tight race, Dom. And there's tons of nominations. There's actually 30 different awards. But in the comedy category, hang on, let's build suspense around the ads. Okay, we're back from the ads. Whoa, in the comedy category, Dom, as I was saying, there's five people who are up for the top bill. And would you look at that right on the top of the list is a certain chaser report. How did that get there?

Oh, my gosh. Extraordinary. So, yeah, look, just your little podcast, dominated. for best comedy on a third occasion. I think you'll notice as well, of the other four nominees, only one of them has been nominated for this award before, and only one of them has been nominated for this award two years in a row. And that's us.

That's us. And we're in. If you're going to bet on a winning horse, it has to be the people who are experienced in losing the award. Well, yes. In fact, we've never made the grade before, and we haven't really changed the podcast to why would anything be different? Well, things are different this year, at least, because Dan Illich of Irrational Fear is not entering.

Bless him. Bless him for that. Thank you, Dan. As well as him not entering, we've convinced Matt Dower, the man behind the pots and pans of Sizzletown, also not to enter this year. Was it us to convince him or the cost of entry? I don't know what it was, but thank you, Matt. Love your work and love that part of your work as well. So it's just us against others.

This is going to be one of those self-indulgent episodes, by the way. Lockland, who are the other contenders for Best Comedy Podcasts? Yeah, sure. So, as I said, there's four other people. We've got Canceled a podcast by Mamma Mia. Small indie group, Mamma Mia. I'm not sure if anyone has ever really heard of Mamma Mia before. Good to do something on people being cancelled.

That's a fresh observation. But yeah, they're a bit of a juggernaut. That's genuinely quite scary. I haven't listened to Canceled, probably because it's my worst career. prospects flushing before my eyes but that's a bit of worry who hosts that one do we know yeah that's hosted by uh claire and jesse stevens okay so that's a real contender um but surely that's the only real contender in the category besides us please give me some good news yeah there is one other player in the category that i'm a bit concerned about and that's the buckup which is hosted by

kate langbrook and nath valvo oh they're big name comedians they're really famous very big names comedians, yes. The buck up, the buck up sounds like some sort of Edwardian health tonic. I'm not too worried about the name, but they're big, Langbrook's a former big time radio star, unless she still may be. Langbrook knows a lot about health tonics, that's for sure. And Nath Valvo is very funny. We've done stuff with him before.

He's excellent. Damn it. Yeah, no, they're both very big people, but Dom, I've got to say, this is the nomination that I smell fish in. Yep. Do you know who's hosting the event tomorrow night? Oh, it's not those two. It is those two people.

Why did we buy tickets to this thing? Why are we turning up to be humiliated, Loughlin? We spent money for, dear listener, if you're not aware, we have to spend money after getting nominated. So not only do we spend money on paying to have a chance at winning this award, we then have to spend a ticket admission to actually go to the event. Meanwhile, Kate Langbrook and Nate Valvo get to go for free because they're hosting it. I'm not.

I wouldn't assume that. I wouldn't assume they get to go for free. I think the business model is everyone pays something. So, I mean, look, I'm not going to comment in the interest of not having any potential victories snatched from us. If people want to just, you know, put into a browser how much a ticket to this thing cost, feel free to have a look at that and just form your own opinion. See, I think that we've actually made a big mistake, Dom, already.

And that's not, you know, paying admission and paying the gross fees that we've already paid to turn up. So I mentioned in our category there are four other people. people that were competing against. However, I had a look at some of the other categories. There's over 30 things we could have entered in and not all of them have as much competition as the comedy genre do. Oh, that's a huge mistake. Which ones have not many entries? The one with the least, there's only two people who are competing against each other for it. And that's 7am and Full Story, who are both competing for a category that I think we

might have been able to throw our hat in the ring for Dom. Do you want to guess what the category is. The most earnest podcast? No, Dom, don't, see, think with me. When we first started making the Chaser report, why did we decide to put the episodes out at 4 a.m.? I have daily news, daily news.

Daily news. There's only two podcasts that have gone for daily news. And we didn't throw a hat in the ring. We're daily news. And we are when we bother to do a new episode. But I mean, this is big news today. All right. So, look, clearly best comedy,

despite the absence of Dan Illich is going to be challenging. It's nice to just, because you've got to pay to enter as well. It's nice to just be there, I guess, isn't it? I mean, the potty's, they're a prestigious event, Tom. They're basically the Oscars, if the Oscars was the Logies. And if the Oscars only had finger food. And if the Oscars was also basically the I-Heart Radio Christmas party. That's probably more fair than any of us realized at this point.

All right, well, we'll report back. I don't mean to be mean to these awards as well. I've been to the loggies. I know how bad they are. You get crashed the loggies, I recall. You are an expert. All right, look, I'll tell you what. We will update people on how we went if we win,

otherwise we'll never mention it again. Now, you cut together our entry. Should we play the entries that people can form their own opinion? Oh, no, yeah. I think that's a brilliant idea. All right. Why don't you, after the ad break, we'll put in the entry you submitted. You cut together.

You did a great job of finding the least, some of the least terrible. bits of this podcast. So put that in and then people can make their own judgment. The Chaser Report. News You Can't Trust. Dom, what an amazing end to the week last week. Charles, I can't record. I'm too sad. I didn't think Rupert Murdoch would ever

leave the position of CEO of Fox and News. It's a shock that a man in his early 90s would be wanting to give work away. I just, I don't see how this is even possible. I thought he had decades left, Charles, decade. Yeah, well, especially with all the sort of new modern treatments where they scrape the stem cells from aborted fetus is that what they do is that how he looks so good yeah yeah oh totally he's got that he's got that he's got that whole aborted fetus

sheen oh absolutely it's a good look it's a very good look i would have thought he had several more marriages in him uh a lot more there are still a few newspapers i think he's he's done this to free himself up offer his main job yeah to sort of start enjoying life and and you know you know actually do something with his life for yeah i mean look he hasn't bought a few things the new york times he hasn't bought yet? Well, he wants to buy the spectator. That's the latest room. Does he?

Yes, yes. Because the thing is, he didn't actually step down. He stepped up. He stepped up. Yeah, because he's now emeritus chairman. Emeritus. Imagine having the daddy issues that you would presumably have as Lachlan. And then when you finally get a job that's actually not underneath your dad, you know,

you get to be the actual head of News Corp. He then, in the same fucking announcement, like in the second sentence, goes, I will be stepping up. Yeah, as a mirror. I'm not stepping away, and he's still threatened to come into the offices on Friday afternoons. On Friday nights. Friday nights. Friday nights, a great night to bump me to the old bloke if you work for news.

Anywhere in the world. More in a moment. Before we go on, Dom, I just want to say, I am storming out of here. I am storming out. But Charles, this is on the record. I've had it with you. But we said this was on the record. Also, why are you wearing that weird name tag?

Why are you wearing a Woolie's name tag? Oh, excuse me, I'm just going to casually sip some water. from this bottle as well. Oh, see, I'm just a man of the people. Yeah, and you're wearing a Willie's crew polisher. That's, do you expect me to believe that the CEO of Woolworth's wears, like, the thing that someone, like a Woolsey's Metro would wear when they're stacking the shelves? Yeah, well, when you're just pulling in seven million dollars a year, Dom, you're just, you just, you're just one of the workers. You just, you just, you just, this is a satirical technique where we pretend that, uh, one of us, Charles in this case, is Brad Banducci, CEO of

words. And I must say, the person who tweeted, I think it was yesterday or the day before, Brad Banducci to resign to spend more time with his family in five, four, three. Yeah, absolutely nailed it. Um, he was it going to, let's ever listen to the audio before we go any further, because this is, this is timeless stuff. His words are that we have, retired, by the way. I don't think you would impugn his integrity and his understanding of competition law. I'm just saying the world has got much more competitive. He retired 18 months ago. He's not. Okay. Let's, well, can we take. Can we take. that out is that okay sorry let's just keep going um so we're gonna sorry what are you unhappy with

i shouldn't have said that about right about it and been retired well you did say it and i mean he he is retired but i shouldn't have said that angus are we going to leave it in there if we are well i mean if we're on the record you said it i mean you know let's let's move on but yeah yeah no i think i'm done guys i you know i do this with good intent you know i don't do this It's a bad intent. You're walking out, really? No, no, can we just talk to Brad for a second? Let me just...

Let me just... 27 a minute, we suppose we'll be finished and see. Tells, I love that Rod Sims is able to get someone to resign, a major CEO, while not even running the A Triple C anymore. That is power. I know. It's the opposite of what Brad was saying. Like, that guy's still got it.

18 months out. Absolutely. Yeah. And Brad has $24 million in Woolworth's shares. So he's still got it as well. Oh, what? He's got 24. I didn't see that.

I knew that he was paid $7 million. Was that his exit bonus, 24 million? Yeah. And you'll never believe the amazing metaphor that all the report, I read multiple stories about this today. And they all said, guess what he's gone in his trolley? $24 million. And I was like, it's not a fucking trolley fuck off. He's way too rich.

Charles, we said we'd do a wrap-up of the latest developments in the Bruce Lehman proceedings. Yes. And I just want to say from the offset, Charles. I just want to just get this off my chest. Reporting judicial proceedings is protected by the defence of absolute privilege under Section 27 Part 2B of the Defamation Act. So as long as we are simply describing evidence, documents, details tended in court, I don't see how anybody could sue us. Is there a problem with us sort of wryly commenting on our opinions about the veracity or otherwise? of certain evidence tended in cause.

Yes. So what we should do is just have a very non-sarcastic tone. That's right. We should just lay it out. It's very important to lay it out. There's no opinion. I certainly wouldn't want to snigger or laugh. Well, the funny thing is, Dom, that I suffer from a condition.

It's very rare condition. Oh, yeah. Where things that I say sound sarcastic even when they're not. The way these things work is they're on transcript, aren't they generally? Oh, yeah. So if the transcript of what you said is respectful and shows that you believe what's being said, I think the tone would be hard to communicate in a proceedings. Well, that's good.

But also just recognise that if you do hear a bit of a sarcastic tone coming through, that's just a result of my very rare condition. Yes. It doesn't convey any level of sarcasm at all. And also, I guess having spent our lives in satire, we have a sort of brain injury whereby we find it very hard to believe, even people who've been very honest and done nothing wrong. Well, exactly. And it's actually debilitating for us.

We are the victims in this scenario. We are the victims, like so many other people in this story. And if people, if we were sued for defamation, it would actually be victimising us because of our condition. Yes. I guess the question I'd ask at the end of this, and it's really for listeners to make up their own minds, I wouldn't want to speculate. Have these proceedings saved Bruce Lehman's reputation and protected it from any harm

it may have received at the hands of the project? Or is Bruce Lehman? And now, in a more embarrassing position than he was when he started. This is something defamation plaintiffs often end up asking themselves, I've noticed, Charles. Yes, yes. It does make you go. Maybe defamation law in this country doesn't need reform. Like, maybe...

Well, it did get reform, so that truth was a complete defence, right? That was a good change. And I think people are still having a hard time catching up with that reform because they keep... But it's good. I like the defamation laws at the moment. A lot of people say they're still too, you know, on the side of the plaintiff. They're not looking that way in court. The plaintiffs aren't kicking a lot of ass in the court.

Yeah, but I like them because they're sort of like, it's like putting out some bait for a fish. A trail of white powder. A trail of white powder. They grab onto it and then we get to be able to read the court transcripts and everyone wins. I mean, all I'm saying, this is just stuff the court heard. We're not reflecting on it. I mean, anyway, I'm just, I just hope justice is done, Charles. I just hope justice is that my only hope in mentioning these proceedings is a desire to see justice done.

This just leads me with one question. I guess at the end of all this evidence we've heard, all this interesting detail, which doesn't mean anything as far as I can tell. I certainly doesn't make me change my opinion of anybody's reputation. What can we sell Channel 7? Because to be honest, they pay well. Yes. But the problem is I don't really want to, like, none of the things that got rapport with Bruce Lamb in

They're not really things that would get rapport with me. Oh, would you have to hang out with Channel 7? You'd have to hang out with producers from the spotlight. See, this is the, I mean, maybe that's the way they get rapport with art is to agree. Like, $10,000, I'm just thinking you could buy the latest Mac. Like, there's so many. I love that. If you want to buy Charles, get it the latest Mac. You can put that towards your mortgage.

Yeah, or you could put it towards your mortgage. You could buy a fuck it off TV. I mean, like there's so many that you could. You could go around the world on that sort of money. So you heard it here first. If any media organisation wants to buy Charles Firth, just get the latest Mac. Yep. And bring it to the Chastrobin.

Who can you give dirt on? Anyone. Anyone? I'll sell you out for a new Mac. Gerew is from Bro. We're part of the iconic class network. Charles Firth is on the market. I've got all the dirt on Dom 9.

Lachlan, thank you for running through the field for us. I'll see you at the potty's. And may the best podcast win. except in the comedy category. We should actually mention Dom as well. We are the only podcast that is entirely hosted by men in the comedy category. Yeah, look, I don't know that I'm even going to turn up to this thing. Can I get a refill on the ticket?

Yeah, yeah. I think I'll have what he's having. We're part of the Iconoclast Network and we'll check in with you to tell you the results of this definitely losing podcast awards tomorrow or another day. Gotcha. See you.