The Chaser Report - The Selfie That United Nations

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Albanese finally had a face-to-face meeting with Trump, and to Charles' disgust, took a selfie to mark the occasion. Plus, Dom exposes an international conspiracy to pause an escalator at the exact moment Melania stepped on it. ---The Chaser Report: EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/chaserreport Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌍 Buy the Wankernomics book: https://wankernomics.com/bookListen AD FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Dom, breaking news. We're recording this at 526pm on Wednesday the 24th of September. Yes, and on my phone, the notifications just come through that Donald Trump has met with Anthony Arbenese for at least enough time to take a selfie. Yes, and the breaking news is that it is possibly the worst selfie ever taken in the history of selfies. Anthony Almanesey looks very happy, but I'm very tired. He looks absolutely exhausted.

But also, like, he's, he looks like he's trying to smile in the same way that Donald Trump can smile. So Donald Trump's smile is, I mean, the teeth are very white. It's, like, I don't think you're not being, you're being too sort of. The face, this is, there's something very. It's so disgusting. Do you think he used AI? Has he got one of those phones with AI that fixes the camera? No, no.

I didn't know how to deal with Donald Trump? Teeth are fake. They're fake news. Really? They can't be. Like, they're just cosmetic. They're just, they're not teeth. They're certainly very white.

They're not teeth. You know how in the old days of video cameras, how you used to set the white balance by like focusing on a white card? You could just focus on Donald Trump's teeth. That would be absolutely fine. So anyway, we're going to have more breaking news. after these messages. Which are avoidable, by the way, if you pay for the subscription, which you should.

So, look, what is there to say about this? I mean, it's been so hyped up. The coalition's been making such a big deal out of the lack of meeting between Trump and Albanese. It's like saying Donald Trump got a selfie with fucking, like, I don't know, Stalin or something. Like, it's a terrible news. Why does he want a selfie in front of? Donald Trump. Donald Trump is an

disgusting human being. I mean, we know this. The thing is, Charles, it was a whole thing of he didn't have it. Does that mean that the US don't like it? But let me put this to you. Is that whenever you get into a meeting with Donald Trump, face to face, the chances are that it will

go disastrously for you. I mean, look at Vladimir Zelensky, what happened to him? Imagine the meeting if they actually have a meeting in the Oval Office in front of cameras, imagine the sheer number of topics on which Anthony Albanese could be railroad. But I don't think, no, no, but But Anthony Abernese knows how to turn any encounter into something really boring. Like, that is his genius.

You think even with Donald Trump? Like any... This is why he's untouchable. This is why he's the next John Howard. Because... You think he's the Labour... He's the Labour, John Howard. Because what he does is every time anyone has a gotcha,

he then just talks about whatever the gotcha is in a way that's so soporific that everyone just goes, okay, at least you're not, Susan Lee. And then they walk away. That's totally what's going on. We're not paying attention to, you know, 63% of, you know, like, target goal. Like all these sort of terrible things that are happening. Oh, yeah, the 62 to 70% climate target. Yeah, the climate target.

It's quite a broad range. But also just like, so lackluster. Like, all the environmentalists were going, well, it needs. to be at least 73 to 80 or something. But I love the idea of giving a range. Like, my, I've just decided my target weight is going to be, it's going to be kind of... 63 to 90%. 80 to 90 kilograms.

That's what I'm, that's what I'm going for. No, no, but you don't do kilograms. Oh, that's an absolute. It's a percentage of your previous best weight. Yeah. But it should be like a, you know, 60 to 130% of your. your P.B. It's quite easy to do, given that I currently

weigh 100 kilograms. So the percentage calculation is pretty straight. So I need 90% in range. You weigh 100? I know, it's terrible. Is that all muscle? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's anyway. Um, so there's my, that's my if you have any exercise tips, by all means email podcast, I've chosen.

Oh, Tom, you've got to. Yeah, no, I've got to work. Some work to do. No, but, so getting back to the actual. The moment, the diplomatic coup. So I just think what we need to do is, you know, is, Is sack all the late-night comedians? No, no. So, no, no.

So I heard some amazing gossip on the weekend, which is that the Federal Labor Party no longer thinks about the coalition when they think about the opposition, right? And it is absolutely true. If you actually watch the news now, the way a political news story is now constructed in Australia is they announce what the government's done. They then give a. brief sound bite that doesn't land to the opposition and then...

You're going to say the Greens, are you? No, no, like to the coalition. They get a spokesman from Susan B's front bench and then they just continue on with the story, right? And so, and then often the only soundbite that actually then vaguely lands will be a Sky News commentator. And even if you're watching Channel 7 or Channel 9 or ABC, what they'll do is they'll then have

Macalia Cash turning up on Sky News. So the actual opposition is Sky. Or Julie Bishop, some sort of former front bencher will turn up on Sky News. To do a better job than Susan Lee's team did. And what this ALP Federal Insider told me is that actually... Gosh, I can't imagine who it is. It's in actual fact that the Labor Party now considers Sky News

as the sort of formal opposition. Oh. And the actual form of, opposition is now like considered this laughable Barnaby Joyce style side show. That's really interesting. I love that you know Labor Insiders and you really do. But the thing that I was talking to someone about the other day who's also a Canberra insider was saying that the government seems to think it's deliverable now.

And the climate, the emission target is exactly an example of this. Yeah. Is it going, the coalition doesn't like it and the Greens don't like it. and we're bang in the middle between what both those two groups want. And if we deliver that, then probably most Australians agree with us and will be in government forever. And that tactic worked pretty well in the election. I don't know if the Greens realized the extent to which Labor actually used them.

And we've talked before about whether there's actually a kind of a conspiracy going on where they actually know that this is the system and the Greens are being. But I don't reckon the Greens... If you're the Greens, wouldn't you just hack the system by going worse than the Coalition or something? Well, they do occasionally. vote with the coalition against Labor, don't they? Or just go, we want a thousand percent. Like some sort of outlier where, you know, the Labor strategies sit down and just go,

okay, we're going to split the difference. And then they suddenly come up with a good environmental policy because they're splitting the difference between the Greens. Well, if the Greens take an extreme position, it makes... It certainly makes it easier for Labor, yeah. Oh, so everything's bad. You've got to remember this is a coalition where it seems like internally, completely abandoning net zero.

has the numbers. I mean, we'll see how that plays out. But, I mean, they're so voluntarily moving that far to the right. Well, but you heard Trump just yesterday at the UN pointing out, I might add. The climate hoax, as he calls it. Well, I heard that what happened is his autoprompt failed. Yeah, yeah. So he had to start.

Not that he uses it anyway, right? Doesn't he just always talk, you think, for the UN he would? I reckon for, well, for you any, but also. He went for 40 minutes. I mean, that's, no one goes to 40 minutes. See, they must have turned to a sort of hostage situation. And the translation stopped working at one point. Not that you really need it, because it's generally a remix to the same themes.

But I love the idea that he sort of broke and so he just started riffing on his old tunes. Yeah, this is dumb speech. That's how it was described. But also, the big conspiracy theory from the UN is, was the escalator turned off on purpose? Because apparently the joke had been going internally. The discussion had been amongst the UN staff that they should turn off. the lifts and the escalators. So he had to walk.

So that he had to walk and saying, well, Mr. President, if you paid your bill for the US's share of UN contributions, which he's been withholding. So do you reckon that's why the autopromp failed? Was it a sort of low-level UN bureaucrat? The moment Malani of Trump stepped onto the escalate, it stopped. So if you were planning, if you were planning to stop the escalator, that's what it would have Can I just stop you and say, I have met many a person who works for the UN or, You know, has got, you know, done young UN trips or interned for the UN and all that sort of stuff.

You think it's beyond them, don't you? I'm just saying, no, yeah, exactly. No, they're way too serious. They're like, oh, I think the, I think international legal systems are the most interesting thing in my life. Oh, my God, I'm going to devote my entire life to setting up frameworks. To frameworks. That every, frameworks to frameworks. I'm going to be a framework.

I have a framework for my life. where I construct frameworks. That everyone, in theory, has the ability to ignore. Yeah. And so they do. Yeah, I mean, I know some international lawyers experts as well. I really admire. It's really important that we set up some frameworks to the frameworks.

Some of the finest people I've ever met. Maybe one day. International human rights noise. People will listen to it. And the point where you're going, well, except that the US doesn't in any way subscribe to or agree with the system, maybe they should have thought of a different thing to do. I mean, it's fine to go out and say, Here's what international law says is supposed to be right.

But it's a little bit like saying here's what in fairyland, you know, I don't want to be on time. Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom. When they were riding the Magna Carta, when they, you know, remember they got King John. They did. And they, didn't they imprison him or something like that? They locked him up.

They threw him in a cell, King John. It's the first time that anyone had ever dared to sort of like. Imprisoned the divine person. Like a mob had imprisoned a. a king and then they wrote down all the rules that they wanted king john to adhere to yeah right do you think that they questioned whether this written down set of rules was worth doing or not yeah yeah exactly like if the u.n this is the whole argument about the union is it's not about now it's not about yesterday it's not about tomorrow it's about like in a thousand years time if you can

sort of get the vibe happening so that the aim is to be right in hindsight centuries later no no no that there is a sense that you should, there is such a thing as international law and that you should adhere to it. No, no, I do. That over time, it will become sort of part of the vibe. I know. And of course I do actually think.

It's a bit like the castle. I do think it's important, Charles. But I do note that in that example you just gave, that the way that they got the Magna Carta was that they had the king in prison, right? Like, if the UN managed to lock people up until they did what they wanted them to do, it would be a lot more effective. I think they actually had him at knife pudding, isn't they? Probably.

And they went. Because when he signed the Magna Carta, it was like, you can sign this, or... Was it if Brendan Carr said, you can do this the easy way, the hard way, yeah. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. But Charles, the weirdest moment for me was when Donald Trump got up and said that life stopped seven wars in the past few months, where were you, United Nations. And it just goes to show how little he knows about the United Nations. That's it, and I do actually agree.

To be fair, in our lifetimes, the UN has mostly been used to justify invasions. Yes. Or for the Security Council to veto doing anything about them. It's generally been the pattern. Because, yeah, the Security Council, reflecting the post-World War II order, turned out, wasn't the best way to have a system for 2025. And did Trump say anything about the fact that over 150 nations had now recognized the state of Palestine, including Australia and France.

It's amazing, and the UK. And Canada, it's amazing that Alba got his selfie, actually, given that. Yeah. Because this is the first time. Orcus may fall over that issue. This is the first time since 1945 that Australia has not been a puppy dog to American foreign policy. This is literally, look, and I know that, like, and I'm sorry to sort of do this, because it sounds like I'm supporting Alba.

and I would never want this podcast to sort of... I think your views on the Prime Minister are well documented. But it is absolutely true that ironically, Anthony Albinies, the greatest coward that's ever come to power under the name Labor will be the first, we'll lead the first Labor government that has actually stopped just blindly supporting American foreign policy at the drop of every hat since 1945.

Like, it's an extraordinary, it's a huge historic moment. Remember when Simon Crean tried it in opposition? Oh, yes. With the Iraq war. You're right. You're right. Yeah, it didn't work. Nowhere.

Yeah, yeah. He was going to lose anyway, but he lost by far more as a result. Well, look, it is interesting. The UN, I guess. But it's amazing how. Let's pay a tribute. You know, because Australia doesn't take kindly to not being all the way with LBJ. Like, they need to support.

And the Americans are unhappy about it. But it's amazing how Susan Lee can't even land a punch on that. Like, don't you think that's extraordinary that you've got, like, Australia is doing something that it hasn't done in, what, 70, 80, almost, more than 80 years. And the opposition isn't even really able to sort of. But furthermore, that Albanese got his selfie, even as the US potentially may well end up trying to have a consequence for Australia because of recognising Palestine. I mean, you know that those Congress, members of Congress and senators wrote to Albanese

this week and the other leaders saying, you know, there may well be a consequence from you having recognised Palestine. Yeah. Oh no. We won't be able to pay you $360 billion. I'm quaking in my boots. Oh no. What are we going to do?

We'll have to just keep the $360 billion to ourselves. As much as you criticise the PM, Charles, he's managed to get what he wanted. He got the photo. No, I don't want to be on the... I don't want to be on elbow side. And Charles, he's going to address the UN in the next week. You shouldn't take a photo, a selfie next to a... No, you really need to change...

Authoritarian. If it's our closest ally and most consequential, what's he supposed to do? Shun him and say, I'm shunning him because of his human right, right. Yeah, no, you're right. That would be what the Greens did. That would be the Greens did. Max Chan. Lemaitha would never have done that.

But look, the point is, for whatever you say, he's managed to do this. But he's doing the same thing. Why does he continue to succeed? He's got Trump on the one extreme and he's got the domestic and he's pirouetting between the two. Why do all these podcasts turn into depressive? It's Teflon Albo. It's Teflon Albo.

He wouldn't want to commit to Teflon as a particular material. No, no, no, no. You know, there's other, there are other forms of nonstick. Variable generic nonstick teflon. Teflon-like substance alba. And I think it's important for the Australian government. And we'd all fall asleep by the time we'd named him. But just say, you know,

the Australian government condemns stickiness in pans, but doesn't want to commit to a particular solution as yet. But in due course, a plan will emerge. I'm just going to go off and have a Tylenol. No, you can't. Haven't you heard? We're part of the Oconiclass Network. Catch you tomorrow.