The Chaser Report - The Socialist Nightmare Begins - NSW Election Wrap

Episode Date: March 26, 2023

"New South Wales don't want Labor" - Rowan Dean, 20 minutes after the votes concluded that NSW did in fact want Labor. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report. I'm Charles Firth. And I'm Dominite on the day when everything was fixed at last. Because on the weekend, Charles New South Wales Labor won a stonking majority victory in New South Wales, destroying Dominic Perrote's government. And this means, Charles, that at least.

long last after about, oh, I don't know, 18 months or so, I am once again the most important Dom in New South Wales. Oh, is that the reason? Yes, no, I was assuming that what you were saying is we had now unleashed a new area of labour wall-to-wall across Australia and that everything will be all right. Oh, yes, that too. That's absolutely what's happened. Because unless you're unfortunate enough to live in Tasmania, you now live in a socialist

Paradise at both state and federal level, where all levels of government work in harmony to help you the individual. And as Chris Min's repeated several times, because it's such a clever thing to say when he won an election. And I think Albao said it as well, doing his warm up. Whether you voted for him or not, he's now your Premier. And I, if you live in New South Wales, and I think it's supposed to be like a gesture of bipartisan openness, but it just sounded like a gloat.

whether you vote for me It also sounds a little bit like something Saddam Hussein would have said as well As a threat to the two people who voted against him There's the headline in this episode Chaser compare Chris Minns with Saddam Hussein Well no but the question for me is How long before they'd disappoint right Dom I mean did you hear his speech pretty fucking soon

Well no but it actually the disappointment for me It was much much sooner than that Really? Yes, it was well before. Before claiming victory. Before claiming victory. Seriously. Penny Sharp on the...

Anthony Green had just declared that Labor... Literally, this was about 7.59 p.m. Yeah, about 10 to 8 or so. You won? Anthony Green says, Labor's across the line. They turn to Penny Sharp on the ABC panel, who's the head of the Upper House Labor Party in the Upper House. She's also the Shadow Environment Minister.

She'll be the Shadow Minister. She says she'll have that portfolio. She'll be the minister for the environment. They turned to her and said, well, what are you going to do about the Narrabri gas mine, which is the next gas field that they want to open up in New South Wales, to which she said, it's going to go ahead. It's been approved. That's already been decided, right?

And just sort of with a shrug and a sort of smug and a sort of smug-look of sort of, ha-ha, got you there, the Libs already approved it anyway, so I don't have to do anything, right? Which was not a great look for the environment minister, right, to be so to. saying, yes, I'm going to destroy the planet. But what really struck me was, I'm not sure she quite understood that by being elected in government, she has now the power to change the decision of the previous government. You don't, like, what doesn't happen in a democracy is that everyone has to agree with everything that's previously happened.

Well, Charles, she may have the power, but she doesn't have the inclination, and that's the important bit. Have you learnt nothing from, we've done a whole podcast on the Tanya Plibersek Environment Minister period. And look, who knows where Tanya's heart is in these matters? Presumably, you know, I suspect where she, were she not part of the Albanese government? She might do things differently, but she is, and this is the thing. And look, and to be fair to her, Tanya Plibersec has approved 116 guest mines since she got elected. Although that was after getting appointed. Like, doing one before getting sworn in, it's pretty good going.

Yeah, that is good, yeah, yeah. But, you know, she's 116 times less disappointing than Tanya Plibertsk at the moment. Oh, she's going to work on it. Yeah. But this is the thing. We've already been told. We've already learned what it means to have a Labor government. Yes.

And it means more pokey's to rip off poor people. It means more gas mines and coal fields. Well, it means business as usual for the gas. Oh, no, Charles. You've misunderstood Penny Sharpie. on that and you've been very unfair to her actually because she was asked about the pokies and

she certainly implied that it was great that something was going to happen about problem gambling and what's going to happen is that they're going to run a trial yes on 500 of 90,000 pokey machines but but she was then she explained this that it was going to be a scientific trial and very

thorough and I think it was actually Raper on the matter it was like well it's 500 of what do you need to know and she was like oh it's going to be very so she just kept repeating how scientific it was going to Well, the funny thing that Matt Keane pointed out was, don't you think that people will just go to other pokies that are not part of the 500 trial? Well, that's what the trial will find.

That's going to be the headline. The headline finding, if you only do 500, people will go to other pokies. I don't know whether you remember. We discussed this on the podcast on Friday, and we discovered that there are a number of laws that need to just have trials run on them, including murder.

Yeah, that's right. You wouldn't know. You wouldn't, you don't know. I think that's what's going to happen. I think Labor's going to abolish murder laws because they don't know and do a scientific trial about whether there should be a law against the law.

It was an interesting thing, Charles. Maybe it doesn't work. They didn't have a... Maybe they need a trial of just the old gasmire. The old gas mine here in there. Just don't approve them all at once, just to find out what happens. Oh, I see.

So we use their logic against them. We've done centuries of opening minds and things like that. We're still not resolved. The jury's out. on what happens. So it's all profoundly disappointing even though it should be a victory for the planet. But Charles, there was no, I mean, did you see Chris Min's speech?

There was no soaring rhetoric at all. There was nothing grand rule. He just gave a shout out to some political operatives for the first 10 minutes. There's someone called Captain, who did it very well apparently. And then he basically said, yep, okay, thanks. Let's get on with it. I think I was in the toilet. The point, well, it's probably the best place to be.

But the most amazing thing about last night, for me, was Dominic Peritay's very gracious. Oh, it was very, yes. It was very kind, generous. There were leaders in the room, but he shut them down, and he said, no, he's a good bloke. He's going to do a good job. And the reason for that, there are two reasons. One is, Dominic Peritay and Chris means they're quite friendly. They're similar.

They're 40-something Catholic blokes who are professional politicians, and they probably like each other quite a lot. Yes. And the second thing is that Dominic Perotay was well aware that very little will change. If he's the opposition leader in the end of all this, Matt Keane's not running, Fred of the show, at least he came on once. Yeah, nothing's actually going to change in New South Wales, and that's why it's an amazing sort of socialist utopia we wake up to, where Dominic Perrote is pretty comfortable with what the new government does.

But don't you think that Dominic Perrote acquitted himself with all the graciousness of an outgoing school captain? I think that that's the air that he exuded. There's always been that vibe about him. Look, I mean, you and I did debate... Maybe a bit young for a school captain. We did a lot of debates against Catholic schoolboys during that. And there's something about him that is absolutely of that.

But there you go. He came, he saw, he wasn't good enough. And he left. And someone almost identical, isn't it? And I'm sure if Chris Min's heard this, he'd be very upset. Because it's a fresh new start. Even the phrase that Chris Min's used, how is it that by saying the words,

fresh new start, you can sound incredibly jaded and old. and in no way innovative. Yeah, I think, yeah, it sounds like something Ian McDonald, who on Friday got convicted of corruption and is now in jail for 14 years, would have come up with back when he was in running the Labor Party. Anyway, let's get off this topic. I'm just aware that there are people who live outside New South Wales.

I just want one more thing I want to say. One more thing I'll say. And no, you haven't seen this anyone else. You haven't heard this from anywhere else. This is the key insight as to why Dominic Perritae lost the election. If you look at his social media on the last day, do you know what Dominic Perrote's campaign slogan was? Freshening his start was Labor's, which only found out two days ago.

I thought he was something about having a plan or something. No, it's hilarious. Like, the Liberal Party's big tweet on the day with the video from Dominic Perrote, vote one Liberal to keep New South Wales moving forward. Dominic Perritay on election day, Helen and I just voted to keep New South Wales moving. forward. Do those words sound familiarly to you, Charles?

Moving forward? Yeah, they are... Oh, my God. That was the phrase that Julia Gillard used 24 times in one speech upon becoming Prime Minister. Those are the words you say when you're going to fuck up an election. They couldn't come up with anything more innovative than Julia Gillard's hilariously failed soundbite.

Wasn't it Mussolini who first used that as a political slogan? I'm pretty sure it was a fascist slogan. Well, they are very good at moving. Yeah, baldosers and all that. Yeah, no, at one point during that speech, I remember Julie Gillard said, moving forward means moving forward. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust.

That would have had more meaning than a fresh start anyway. So there you go. Yep. Wall-to-wall labour. Now, Dom. Except Tasmanium. Got a little bit of a... Oh, curly.

I noticed this out. I need to... Should we keep doing satire now that the workers' paradise is upon us? No, no, no, this is domestic-related. So I just go into a little bit of a... I wouldn't say argument. It was just more of a sort of stern talking to from my wife. Which was that my 14-year-old has this homework assignment,

which is a terribly laborious thing about the Industrial Revolution. It just remind, it's just like giving me PTSD about, you know, writing history essays on weekends. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, why would you need to do? Well, you don't need to do homework. It's just like, outsourcing. This is the age of GPT, Charles. Well, no, no, no, but this is why.

No, the schools have already gone to that, right? So they know that that's going to happen. So you have to write the essay in the classroom. So you have to write the essay beforehand, absorb it all, store it in your brain. rain and then regurgitate it again how is that going to be a useful life skill there's going to be no point in your son's career ever when he's going to need to actually

come up with words himself in a room well I think the sort of thing is it is useful to know about the Industrial Revolution like at a level of actually learning history the way they get them there doesn't need to ingest the contents but it's also about sources

anyway that's not the point The point is, I don't know whether you remember, but they made a documentary about me back at university. I can't believe you're all actually bringing this up. I cannot believe, other than us, bring it up to make fun of you, you're voluntarily reminding us about the TV show, Uni. All of it available on YouTube. Check it out right now. Do not check it out. But one of the scenes was when Andrew and I, Andrew Hansen and I, wrote an essay for a competition right.

Oh, yes. And there's this very funny scene of Andrew explaining the process of how to write an essay, which is you just write it all down. And then you go back and you find quotes in texts that make it looks like you've synthesized things, even though you've actually done the exact reverse thing. Yeah, you just say it if you want and then make up the quotes afterwards. You don't want to actually acquire the knowledge in any way. No, no, no, you need to, yeah, you just sort of, just wing it. You wing it.

And then come up with selective quotes, that's right. Anyway, so I was there busy sort of talking through this exactly how to do it to how. all money, like literally sent hours on it, right? And then my wife pulls me aside and says, Charles, Charles, you're just, you're just getting him to sort of make stuff up, right?

Like, you're just, you're just telling a great yarn about, and make him tell the great yarn about the industrial revolution. He's supposed to be actually researching everything. And my wife's an academic, right? She's an associate professor. She's just appalled by me just sort of... You're still right,

you're saying the same way. Yes, that's right. Oh, my God. And so then, and I said, it's all right, it's all right, it's all right. And then I went upstairs and said, okay, we've got to, but just been told, we pointed out that we've got to put at least six sources into this 1,500 word essay, right? So we went, I told him how to do, I said, you know, you just Google the thing, find the essays that this is about and make it look as though. That's where you've got your information from.

No teacher's ever going to sort of do a reverse engineer, look, check all the sources thing. So you might write, for instance, the Industrial Revolution was a lot like the UFC. And that might be a long boy, but you find a quote. Yes. And then we're about fighting analogy. Yeah. Well, no, no, but like it just in terms of like facts, you just make up a fact. Like, oh, well, actually I said to Hartley, oh, I think it was probably about three million Africans were taken from West Africa and put into the Bahamas.

And we looked it up and it turned out to be 300,000. But like I always say, if you can divide something by 10 or times it by 10 and it sounds reasonable, that's probably about the right of me. Are you getting cancelled for bringing this up at all or for fucking up the numbers? I don't know which it's going to be, but you're more over than Dominic Perisade. No, but anyway, point is, I don't know whether what I've done is terrible in the form of sort of academic fraud, or is it just like, I don't know, like, that is to me how you ride an essay. Like, I'm literally passing on your ways of faking an essay. Yeah.

And I did well enough. Well, it depends the question. Does he want to be you, a sort of fairly washed up two-bit comedian, you know, doing tours around Australia, but none of them requiring any actual research or knowledge? No, yeah. Or does he want to be, like, your wife, who's a genuine expert and has written books that, and I've interviewed your wife about the things that she knows. And she actually knows a lot of stuff. Yes. It's based on examples, academic heft.

Yes. So does he want to be her with knowledge or you with Hutzpah and very little to back it up? You put it that way, and I feel really bad about what I've done. But, I mean, you should ask him because he might be your chip off the old block. It sort of depends what psychological phase. We should ask Freud what he wants. You know what he should do. What he should do is you should go back and explain to him.

I'm sorry, I got this completely wrong. This isn't how you write an essay. What you do is you have an open mind and you go and read sources on both sides and then try and figure out what happened. And he will correct you and then reuse. is a reference the scene in uni and that will teach him how to do academic sourcing he will write down uni documentary

whatever it was, 1996 or something Charles Firth talking to Andrew Hansen to prove that dad was wrong in fact the way to do it was the cheap and nasty way but also Charles he doesn't have to be an academic he could be a Sky News host he could be a news limited columnist

and just start my method would be very useful for that for them. You just start with an immutable point of view that no facts can intrude on and then go back which is why Rowan Dean and the Insiders team, amazing reaction to the New South Wales

defeat of the coalition Can we just play a little bit of it? So Labor, let's see how socialism works. Let's see Australia. Let's see what this is like, this grand experiment. We don't want labour. Now we've got labour. Thanks, Liberals. That's what you gave us. Thanks, Matt Keane.

Thanks, Dominic Parity. You've given us a Labour government. We don't want one. Woke has destroyed the Liberal Party. Only Peter Dutton can save it. And time is running out. Let me tell you. The only person that can save the rule party is Peter Dutton. And

the problem is they've gone to... Matt Canavan said the same thing. They've gone too woke. Yes. So two environmentalists. Because if you look at what liberal voters want from the federal election... Yes. Hang on. No, that was teals. They wanted teals. No, let's ignore that fact. What they want is a more hard-line, conservative, anti-environment

position. That's the future for Party? Which would lead them to electoral oblivion, right? I mean, it has. So what, like, maybe Sky News hosts are actually Labor, hear me out. Oh, hang on a thing. Labor Party operatives or, you know, progressive operatives who are working against their sleeper agents. They're sleeper agents.

I mean, that would make a lot more sense of Rowan Dean than someone who genuinely believes, he believes all the things. He says, but I read a very interesting article on the Saturday. paper this week, saying that basically this is what's happening, saying that News Limited and right-wing politics have merged their point of view so often that actually news is making conservative politicians unelectable because their whole perspective as with Trump, as with the coalition in Australia. It's not popular anymore. Their own team doesn't want to vote for that stuff.

And that sort of works in America because actually most people don't vote in America. You don't have compulsory voting. So it's all about, can you get people angry enough to turn out? Whereas in Australia, everyone has to vote, have to turn up for their sausage, which means that you get all these people who just go, that's crazy. I mean, there's been quite a lot of elections now where the climate change is real side one, both in America and in Australia. Yes.

And even in Britain, the Conservative Party is very much climate change is real. But if you watch Sky News or check out, you know, the Oz opinion pages or whatever, they haven't changed at all. Yes. So are they just going to, who's going to win the argument? The great thing is that the Labor Party has absorbed that lesson that climate change is real and decided to make it even more real. Well, that's probably why they're doing so well, Charles. They've managed to not only say the right stuff. Yes.

And, I mean. And then take all the money from the guests and go. Come out and say, and there's a, I mean, Bayerich Bichanee has come out and said that they've done this with refugee policy. They say all the right things in Labor. They're very concerned about people being left in limbo. Yes. They just don't want to change the rules.

But they're very concerned, Charles. There's a human rights issue here. The one upside of all that is it does infuriate the Greens the way Labor does that, the way they say one thing and do another. Yeah. And a Greens photo who's infuriated is just a delight to see. Very entertaining. I mean, to be fair to the Greens, to be fair to the Greens, they are very

consistent. They say one thing, get into Parliament, and then are unable to achieve the one thing. But what they want to do doesn't change. It's just that they can't do it. Yes, yes. So there you go. Genius. Okay.

Utopia. I think we should wind up the podcast, really, in this New Australia. Facts don't matter, as we've proven through your son. There is, you know, there's no crisis that Labor can't fix. Satire is over. Yes. It's been nice knowing you all. It's a dawn of a new day.

A new day. A fresh start. It's a fresh new start. unless you check your sources, in which case it's exactly the fucking same. Our gear is from road. We are part of the Iconocles Network. Catch you tomorrow.