The Chaser Report - Throw another laptop on the fire | Zoe Norton Lodge

Episode Date: June 24, 2021

Defamation expert Michael Bradley talks us through the current defamation boom, as we ponder whether to shut The Chaser. Plus, Covid hits the NSW Parliament, and Zoe Norton Lodge provides a welcome pandemic respite by updating us on the latest vital Kmart news. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report for Friday, the 25th of June. Now, Charles, yesterday the Delta Variant went too far. Yes. It took a swing at Macquarie Street, Charles, the People's House. It took a swing at, in particular, a guy called Adam Marshall, who I've never heard of, but is apparently the New South Wales Agricultural Minister. We haven't heard of him because he's isolating, Charles.

This is the thing that I love about this. he and four other nationals MPs were having dinner in Paddington on a Monday night now next time you hear them going on about latte, sippers and inner city types let's just remember how they live for much of the year when they come to Sydney

they are loving the chardonnay at Paddo they're definitely having lattes they are living like inner city wankers and then the rest of the year they're going oh oh the inner city sucks we love the bush no they don't that's why they took that job Yeah, and they've got their comeuppance now Because they've got the city version of the virus

Yeah, and they've got the Delta variant And look, also Brad Hazard, the health minister Is self-isolating after being exposed. Parliament House is potentially a cluster now, Charles. This is very good news, Dom. I mean, this is more relevant than state parliament's been in many, many years. If we can just lock down Parliament forever, I think the whole world would be better.

Look, and Mark Latham works in Parliament House. Oh. I would never wish anything upon anyone, but I'm just saying. Well, that's the thing. But Brad Hazard, even though he was giving this interview over the phone because he couldn't come in in person because he was potentially going to test positive, he still said, oh, I don't think we'll lock the state down. Yeah.

That's going a bit far. No. I'm personally in isolation because I just walked past someone who might have had it. But you know that Brad Hezard is vaccinated. I'm sure is. That's the crazy thing about. this delta variant is that even if you're vaccinated, you're at risk of fleeting contact. Well, this is the thing. You can still get it. Yeah. And you just won't die. Like Tom Gleason

yesterday, he flew to Perth. Oh, yeah. And on the plane, while he was in the air, he got a text saying, we've identified you as a future traveler to W.A. don't come. Oh, really? You're from New South Wales. And so what happened? He was vaccinated with Pfizer. And so he had to go home. He had to go home. So all the people who wanted to see his gig in W.A. were like, you know, we can't do it. But Tom was a bit annoyed, right? But then all these Western Australians are like, oh, yeah, keep your filthy potential infection out of our state.

But wait a minute, where was he flying from? From New South Wales? Apparently he's a New South Wales resident now. He just didn't tell us. Oh, he didn't tell us. Didn't text us. Well, maybe we'll try and get him on the show later on. We'll try and get him on the show later on.

And if he says no, we'll book him a gig in Parliament House. Coming up on the show, we're talking to a lawyer about possible innocent reasons that you might want to burn a laptop. Yeah, Ben Robert Smith apparently did this on multiple occasions. Plus, we're talking to Zoe Norton Lodge, who's bringing us all the non-COVID-related news from around the world. Thank God someone is. But first of all, let's go to Rebecca Dana Minow in the Chesa Newsroom.

Acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has today taken his first act in the top job by reversing Malcolm Turples' bonk ban for no particularly. reason. In unrelated news, Mr Joyce has also announced he will be moving his office to the parliamentary prayer room and adding free birth control to the list of parliamentary entitlements. Sydney streets have run rampant with the return of panifying, with store shelves all over the city being completely emptied of all cocaine. Within 24 hours, supermarket giants, coals and Woolworths are enforcing a strict one baggie per household rule, limiting most baby boomers to only seven baggies.

The tech and drug trafficking industries are in mourning after the inventor of anti-virus software, John McAfee, was found dead in his jail cell. Experts say his death could have been avoided if he had just installed Norton instead. That's the latest news from the Chasers' Work From Home News Desk. I'm Rebecca Deunamuno. What's better than a well-marbled rib-eye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled rib-eye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by, an Instacart shopper and deliver to your door. A well marbled ribby you ordered without even leaving the kitty pool.

Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. This episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by Christmas Island Getaways. get another seven for free. Dom, I want to talk for a second about the Ben Robert Smith defamation trial against Channel 9. It's been a bit of a shit show.

In the past couple of weeks, the supposed war hero has admitted owning a beer glass that is a replica of a dead Afghan man's prosthetic leg. He's admitted that he encouraged a culture in his squadron where it was acceptable to drink from the prosthetic leg. And then during the week, he admitted that he'd set his laptop on fire in 2018, claiming that it was just a perfectly normal way for him to get rid of his old laptops. Now, to talk about this, we're joined by Michael Bradley. He's a partner at Mark Lawyers and a bit of an expert at defamation cases.

Recently, he successfully represented Joe Dyer in her legal battle against Christian Porter, which ended up with Porter's barrister having to step down from the case. Michael Bradley, thanks for joining us. Good to be here. Now, Michael, obviously we can't discuss the Ben Robert Smith trial as it's currently before the courts, but you've had a lot of clients over the years, and I just wanted to find out what are some of the completely innocent reasons that someone would have to, say, burn a laptop? Well, I mean, I was actually surprised by the stink that revelation caused that hadn't occurred to me that there were alternatives.

I mean, certainly whenever we finish with a piece of computer equipment at work, we have it at a bonfire. And do you use petrol? Do you use petrol as well? Well, we've tried various accelerants, and that, yeah, either that or tequila. I don't like that, Michael. I'm an environmentalist, so I like to reverse over my electronic device with the tractor. I find that really effective.

Yeah. Yeah. So I did a bit of research, and apparently, if you stacked all of the laptops that are discarded each day in Australia on top of each other, they'd be almost as tall as Ben Robertson. I want to do a hypothetical with you, Michael. What if you had a client who'd burned a laptop that had potential evidence on it? What sort of explanation would you suggest to the court about what had gone on?

Well, he's part of our professional responsibility to not. promote perjury. So I would encourage a client in that context to tell the truth about it. I mean, actually, you know, there's a live issue in that recent case we just ran for Joe Dyer. She was heavily cross-examined, is in the case again, that Porter intervened in, she was heavily cross-examined about deleting some messages, which was sort of painted in a sinister way, and she explained she did it because she didn't want to keep them, which seems reasonably innocent to me. I was in a context where there was no litigation in contemplation. I mean, I delete Charles' messages all the time off my phone. I don't

want anyone who finds it to know that I know Charles. It's completely understandable, I would think. Yeah, totally. Actually, I'm in the habit of deleting text messages where I sort of feel like it's completely relevant to my life. You know, like the ones you get from bank that, you know, send you a security code or whatever. And anyway, I was talking about it at work not long ago, and all the millennials laughed at me and said nobody ever delete any text messages except old people. Because I delete all the messages I send to my Coke dealer. There's actually a function in, certainly on Apple phones,

where the messages can delete themselves after a year. And I'm wondering if maybe they need to develop laptops that self-destruct after a year and just go up in a puff of smoke. That'd be amazing. Now, one of the things that Ben Robert Smith, he's on the stand, and a lot of the story that he's telling

don't necessarily reflect well on him, do you think this is a genius legal strategy, as some people have suggested, to control the narrative? Is there what's going on? I think there's two ways of looking at it. I mean, one perspective is that if, If Ben Robert Smith was both the plaintiff and the defendant

and was in fact suing himself for defamation, I would say his case is going extremely well. But, yeah, I mean, more seriously, yes, it is pretty sort of conventional strategy. If it's your reputation that's in issue, which it is in that case, then getting out in front of stuff that you know is probably going to come out anyway.

is a good tactic because then you control the way that it comes out and how it's framed. That is very helpful. If there's ever a chase of defamation trial, Charles, we'll have to do a bit due about a couple of weeks of just all the skeletons in our closet. Before that came out and get, I don't know, published in the Australian as text message releases. It'll be like several months of examination in chief.

I think so. It's right. I had my Coke dealer on the stand the whole time. One last question. defamation law is very popular at the moment, especially with the federal cabinet. I think about half the federal cabinet is suing somebody. You're a defamation lawyer. Can I borrow some money?

Well, look, you know, it is a truism that it is only lawyers who win from defamation litigation. And the landscape is with successful defamation plaintiffs who I think would concur. So that's a yes. That means you're... You can. And final question for me... No, you're not lending your money. Final question for me, Michael.

Should we just shut the chaser down now? Oh, no, no. I don't think so. I think there is still room for political satire. I think some of the more adventurous plaintiffs, particularly the political ones who are trying to use defamation litigation to shut down criticism, including, you know, satirical criticism of them are going to come a cropper.

So, no, I wouldn't be too worried. That's very reassuring. Thank you very much, Michael Bradley. Pleasure. This episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by News Corporation. The news without any of those pesky facts. If it feels right, it must be true. Now, Charles, there's been an awful lot of COVID discussion on this podcast.

It's getting a little bit dull. Yeah, we need a vaccine against the COVID discussion. All right. Well, we've asked So you not lodge to come up with some news that is not about COVID. Thank God for that. Hey, Zoe. Oh, hey, guys. Look, it was a pretty rough challenge that you set me, non-COVID-related news. You know, that's pretty much all that's going on, right? Yeah, we would like to set the bar high for you, Zoe. Yeah, no, I appreciate it. Well, look, I mean, I did a lot of noodle scratching, you know, I did a lot of research, a lot of investigating,

and you guys might remember for a previous iteration of our time together over the airwaves. I enjoyed sharing with you news from the world of K-Munk. Oh, yeah. That's just what we need right now. There's short. That's nothing to do with COVID in Kmart. Well, yeah. So, I mean, I was kind of shocked at the time it seems, you know, a bit naive now that there was so much news about Kmart. You could just do a Google and on any given website,

you'd find a bunch of stories, you know, pretty much parading as actual news. They were all about Kmart, like different hacks, things that were to sale, stuff like that. Anyway, so it's been a little while since I dipped into it. And I was just thinking of doing a grab bag of news from all around the world. But then I discovered something, guys, that on the, you know, Channel 7 News website, you know, like on a news website, you've got your categories like local, sport, politics, entertainment, etc. There's a Kmart one. It's become its own genre of news. That's amazing. It's its own genre of news. I like to think maybe in a small

way we contributed to this through our enjoyment of their news stories. But I just thought, like, what a way to start. Okay, we may as well just look at this entire section of news website dedicated to Kmart. So I just thought I might just read you guys some headlines. These are all recent headlines, okay? They're all from the Kmart news section of this news news website. And look, I'll just read through them. We can just have a think about them. And if anything takes you fancy, we can, you know, read it. Otherwise, I'll just keep ripping through them. Are you ready? Yep. Kmart Shopper shares her gender non-conforming hack for dressing kids.

What? That's, yeah, can we read that? Please, let's read that. And please tell me It's more than just I buy for my boy in the girl section. Okay, let me see. Just while it's loading, I'll just hit you with another one. Kmart fans, Mars bar and caramel milk sausage rolls go viral on TikTok. Oh, here's another one. Shopper's shock after finding white dust under Kmart rug. Whoa.

Is it cocaine? I don't know. But anyway, you've committed to the shopper shared her gender non-conforming hat for dressing kids on. I bet you it'll be that you use. This is girls' socks on her boys, or boys' socks on her girls. Because they now have gendered socks. Gendered socks. Yes.

Okay, look, this is a, okay, look, I've just read a little bit ahead. Because I'm that good of a journalist. It's shocking. This is the hat, okay? They allow their child, who they refer to as they, rather than using gendered pronouns, to fill a trolley with any clothes from any section in Kmart, to give them the space, to explore and decide.

for themselves. That is so admirable, but I must say, I kind of thought the hack would involve a hack. Yeah. Rather than just respecting the child's decisions and choices in life. Yep. That is the hack. And let me tell you, I'm scrolling down and there are hundreds more words I'll pretty much saying the same thing.

That is an article. A woman saying it's Kmart News, I mean, has to be branded as Kmart News, because that's the hook. That's what gets you in, right? It's not going to be anything about. gender non-conforming. Is it only at Kmart that they allow the gender fluidity? Like, is everywhere else that they have to.

They are totally narrow-minded if they're at best and less. I wish there was discounted store fluidity, Zoe. I wish we could just mix target news and the spotlight news along with camera. Hey, you know, look, maybe next time. Should I, should we keep going to see if there's any more stories you're interested in? Yeah, okay, well, let me read you a couple more and you can pick one, okay? So we've got our Kmart fans, Mars, Bar and Caramel, Sussarles, go viral on TikTok. That sounds like a bit of a heart attack waiting to happen.

Shoppers struck after finding white dust under Kmart rug. Okay, all right, that's all right, cool. I mean, I love, this is the thing. When you get high quality news, you don't need quantity over quality. You just need, you know, I have like, honestly, like 50 of these ready for you to read. But we're just, we've barely gotten to the top four. Okay, okay, here we go. Shop is shocked after finding white dust under Kmart rug.

An Australian shopper has been left stunned after discovering a pile of six white dust under her Kmart rug. She shared a picture of her shocking find to a Facebook group, telling the members I had no idea that was under it when I lifted it up. I use a Dyson on it every day. When I first laid it out, I had a little white dust come out and thought it's probably from the warehouse or whatever, not loving my 11-month-old crawling all over it, in the bin it goes.

Many others were confused by the pile of dust. A number of social media users joked. It could be something sinister. Reminds me of that border security show, one wrote. Looks like someone tried to smuggle a little cocaine in your rug, another road. Hang on. I was hoping that it was going to be cocaine or anthrax or something. Or even just like cockroach powder or something.

Did we not even know what it is? No one, who called the lab and did the sample on this? Dom, the thing is you've gotten excited. I'm about to get to the crunch. I mean, I know most of these articles don't have a crunch, but this one seems to. Okay. So a Kmart spokesperson got involved, obviously.

because it's a big deal, and said the dust was calcium carbonate, a substance used in production as a bulking agent. Calcium carbonate is essentially a solution, which is added to the latex to improve stability, and the rug features no safety risk. Oh, it's a bit of a lit there, isn't it? I was hoping to snort a rug. Do you know, I mean, they haven't said don't snort it. Yeah.

They said it was harmless. So, I mean, in some ways, I mean, I'm not endorsing snorting. calcium carbonate off a Kmart rug. Noted. So anyway, then Kmart did say, in saying this, it should not occur, and we've discontinued the use of this substance. And you can contact Kmart if you need further information on this woman's calcium carbonate rug.

They've done a deal. They've paid her off. That's great. But you know what? This thing of having a Kmart section on the 7 News website means that there's finally a sustainable business model for news in Australia. Oh, I know. It's great. This is, um, it's a, they really are an Australian hero in that regard.

And you know what? We just spent seven minutes not talking about bloody COVID. Oh, I did it. I'm off to snort a rug. Thanks, Zoe. What's better than a well marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue? A well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door.

A well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kitty pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. This episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by the Australian Gaslighting Company. Remember, if you aren't happy with our service, it's probably your fault. Now, Dom, I don't know whether you saw this yesterday,

but the age reported that a national senator from the Northern Territory tried to attend Parliament while maggoted. She turned up, she tried to vote, and she could hardly stand up on Wednesday night. Turns out a lot of MPs, a lot of senators turn up to votes, incredibly drunk, which actually isn't that surprising given that in sitting weeks, Parliament House is basically just the hottest nightclub in Canberra. The Australian government is excited to announce Canberra's hottest new nightclub. Presenting Parliament House.

Hey everyone, it's Hambier in the party room. Plenty of cheap shots to go around. Perfect for a late night bender. There's no better place to get maggoted. Woo! I heard Morrison's going to do a backflip. Off the table? No.

On climate policy. And if the party room gets too much, feel free to kick on to the church. Members of Parliament. Did you just see that National Senator get escorted out? I haven't seen anyone that drunk since Abbott during the GFC. And if you're lucky, you may get to experience our famous no-confidence winter pylons. Did you see Barnaby's big spill? Dude, they need to get some more stable hands around here.

We don't need Barnaby being any more handsy than he already is. Pop down tonight to get an exclusive 50% off of your second hour in the prayer room. Parliament House. The Wildest Club in Australia. Charles, just before we go, I have more bad news for Bondi. Oh, no. They've already suffered so much. Bondi Junction, the Westfield is empty.

Yes. Everyone's at home. And now, a couple days ago, New South Wales Health, issued a warning about dodgy cocaine that contained heroin. Oh, my goodness. That is terrible. Well, either that or it's two for the price of one. I'm not entirely sure.

No, but wouldn't it the one cancelled the other one else? That would be a terrible combination. It's extraordinary. Eleven people have been admitted to hospitals in the past few months after snorting what they thought was cocaine and then suffering opioid overdoses. I just don't feel that the quality control is there in the illicit drug market. Well, especially when you pay so much.

I mean, I had a friend who said that you tried to buy three grams of cocaine the other day and it was going to cost him $2,600. Well, it costs more for the heroin. That's right. Anyway, that's all the news from the hood. Yeah. We just wanted to give ourselves as direct credibility

if you want more news around the clock, chaser.com.com.com.com. You follow us and all the socials. And our five-star review and lots of people have nice five-star reviews on Apple podcast, actually.

Let's read some of the men's we do on Friday. Let's not read them this week. I sort of feel like, you know, they're a little bit mean. Oh, this is a great one. Someone's written, it's going to be David Little Proud. That's my favorite mode of the week.

Five stars, though. That was a reasonable prediction. addiction, Don. It actually was. I'll give you that in hindsight. Like listening to a spicy Bert Nernie. Is that a compliment? Well, I think, is it suggesting that we have some sort of chemistry, don't.

Special rapport. We don't share a bed yet. The 7th edition show was very informative. What does that even mean? Oh, that's referring to the 7th edition of the aged care plan that the government put out. Oh, yeah. Someone's really listening to the detail of the show. And fair point.

He especially loved the humor from Rebecca and Gabby. Yeah, so do we. What about us? Why don't you mention us? Well, if we did a better job, I'd be they would. Of the 89 podcasts I listened to, this is my favourite. That's nice. That's nice.

Love today's episode, except not a single one of my 89 children. What a Julie Bishop Barbie. Did we say that 89 had to be a key word? I think so, yeah. This one's good, too. This is from B-DU, B-A-C-1. It's amazing getting to listen to the Chaser Boys, slow retreat to old age and dementia. Thankfully, there's the 89 children interns to balance it out.

That's nice. Love the daily format. That is nice. And these are all, these are very hedged opinions, but they're all five-star reviews. Isn't that nice? It's sort of like an Uber review where you just automatically give five-stars, no matter of life. It is great. It just goes to show that begging works.

Please, please leave some more. Our gears from road microphones, are we part of the ACAST Creator Network. Should we plug the podcast festival thing? Oh, yeah, let's plug it. Just go to, oh no. Just search for Melbourne Podcast Festival and book tickets now. It's Sunday night, the 1st of August in Melbourne. And we will definitely be there.

Oh, yeah. Unless what happened to Tom Gleason happens to us. Oh, shit. See ya. What's better than a well marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue? A well marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kitty pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered.

Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver.