The Chaser Report - THROWBACK: The Chaser Team Reunited!!!

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Throwback episode: that time we got all The Chaser team to recap the 2022 Federal Election results! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigle Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chaser Report. Yes, you are listening to The Chaser Report with Charles and Dom and Lachlan in their place. Charles and Dom are very sorry. They couldn't make it today because they're getting hair transplants. That's absolutely true. Please follow them up. I'm not joking.

Wink, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. In the meantime, we're going to pull an episode out of the vault. Now, I had a friend recently point out to me that we are nearing 700 episodes of The Chaser Report. So, if you have listened to all 680-something episodes that were at now, could you please leave a five-star review of the podcast and say what you think we should do to celebrate the big 700? We haven't done anything to celebrate 600 or 500 or 300 or 400. I think the last celebration we did was when we hit 50,000.

episodes. So if you can think of something fun to do for the 700th episode, leave a review, and that's the best way that any of us can contact Charles and Dom, myself included. The episode that I've picked us to listen to today is one from the vault where at the end of the 2022 federal election, we managed to get the entire original chaser team in one room all recapping the election that had just passed and the government that had been booted out. It's a lot of fun and it's a bit nostalgic to listen to all of those guys together again. Please enjoy. Our Gears from Road Microphones and we are part of the Iconoclast Network.

Thank you very much. Chow. In an election that will determine the fate of the entire universe. There's only one podcast holding politicians accountable. Scott Morrison, Anthony Albanese, who will move? Find out on the Chaser Report, election edition. Hello and welcome to the election wrap edition of the Chaser Report. It is Monday the 23rd of May, two days after female voters and female candidates stormed into Canberra,

turthing out the Morrison government. And here at the Chaser Report, what better way to mark the occasion when women stood up and took back, this nation by gathering around the podcast table, Charles Firth, Chris Taylor, Craig Roocastle, Chaslett, Chaslett, Chaslett, Chandler, Andrew Hansen and me, Domite, six men? What a celebration, gentlemen. Yeah, yeah, sucked in, Simon, Morrison. You aren't the only one with a tin ear. If the lives can be six men, then we can be six men, what the lives are now. Do you anyone watch the election? Do you even like it? Yes, I watched it, but I watched it with Charles, so my view of what was going on was very skewed by his emotional roller coaster

on the night. Yes, it's interesting because my son texted me saying, can you thank Charles and tell him to keep tweeting? Because my son was out. And he said, I'm following the election coverage based on Charles's tweets. And I was like, I don't know if this is, do I say this is a good or a bad thing? It's like Charles is kind of like the Anthony Green, except that he's drunk and has no data. No, no, well, the thing is, I take an emotional approach to election numbers.

So they come in, you see a number, and you emotionally react to it, and you tweet out about it. Well, this is it. I mean, I've got your tweets. I mean, we should maybe analyze how good Charles is as an election analyst based on his tweets in the night. He started at about pretty much six o'clock. So nothing's been counted there. Three votes have come in. But he's still emotional already.

Oh, yeah. His emotions begin the moment the polls close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got in the booth of Norfolk Island, and he's like, I have a terrible feeling. So he's already called it early. Terrible feeling. What?

Who's voting in Norfolk? Is it cows just voting? Well, very conservative cows, according to the results. What was your terrible feeling, Charles? Yeah, Charles, was your terrible feeling about the election or about your life? Well, of course, you know, as an impartial observer to this election, The terrible feeling wasn't that the Libs were holding very well in Bass and Braddon. It was basically the rural seats in Bass and Braddon that were coming in at that point.

There was one booth in Tazzy, the most rural booth and the most rural electorate in the most rural state. And Charles is going, oh shit, this is like. And Braddon actually ended up swinging, I think, about 13% to the Libs. It was the only seat in the country that had a big swing. It was almost like election night was produced like a reality show. You know where there's always Mr. X? You think one contestant's going But it's sort of

Oh, they've pulled the wool over our eyes And it's just a red herring It was almost whoever came up with the decision To call Braddon and Bass first Just to make it a little bit tense For the, you know, or the Labour fans Or Greens fans watching I thought it made the night

Almost interesting I know, no, it was They were so many misdirects I mean, the Channel 10 advertising for their show I thought Julie Goodwin was going to go home But also there was a moment there when everyone was absolutely certain that Peter Dutton was going to lose. And people will get to that, hang on, let's get to Charles's analysis.

And he may yet still lose by winning the leadership of the Liberal Party. That'll do. So Charles has gone from, I have a terrible feeling to, FARC, Labor's not looking good. Yeah. Yeah. So he's called it early, Labor's losing this one. Yeah.

How did he spell FARC? F, triple A Rating. Triple A FARC. Fuck. So so far not too good. Then he was like, then. He was, looks like Zimimam Shama, Falinski, Wilson are all in terrible trouble. Greens on track to pick up two to three extra lower house seats.

This is an incredible election. Charles Firth, look at that. Look at that. That was correct. That was really early on as well. One from three. Yeah, yeah. So what was...

That was partly because one of my friends rang me and said that I, my previous tweets had made her mum so anxious that she was unable to come to the party. And could I tweet something a bit more positive? Who's mum is getting their election results from... More tweets. There's four mainstream television networks all covering the... Well, in Sky as well on. Like, who chooses the first option on election night?

Two people in this very conversation, Craig's son and a friend's mother. Well, a follow-up question is, why is Charles being, like, heralded as some kind of genius? When he's just... His tweet basically repeated what every other election coverage had already called at that point. No, that is not true. This is still what, Norfolk Island time? 30 time, I reckon. 6.30, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. No, this is Charles then next tweet was, this is the greatest night in Australian history because he's got Peter Dutton losing to Alley France. I don't know what, about 12 votes counted at this point. But didn't the ABC, I certainly heard the ABC had called it at one point. Channel 9 and ABC had both called Dutton losing Dixon. So, again, Charles's repeated information from mainstream sources.

But, yeah, oh, we all had that roller coasterce. I was almost prepared to give Skoma the election if Dutton lost. That was my ideal scenario. Do you know what was amazing? When it looked like Dutton and Frydenberg were going, we sat there and looked at the front bench to the Liberal Party. Yes, same. It's fucking amazing.

It is so bereft of talent. Like, kind of Birmingham was, and Birmingham was in the Senate. So he couldn't get rid of it, yeah. It was extraordinary. I think even today I saw Bridget Archer being touted as a genuine and I've always had a bit of time for her. She was the one that stood up to the party on sort of transgender issues

and religious discrimination. So in a way, that's the moderate voice they might need. But like four days ago, would anyone have been talking about Richard Archer's leadership material? Well, I was looking for a potato in the kitchen so I could sort of take a photo of put out your potatoes and trying it.

And no, before I could even find a potato that didn't have something growing out of it. What's the great problem? They didn't run a teal against Dutton. They only had the Labor, Ali France, is the name? Yep. Like, if you'd tilled against Dutton,

all green. Like, it wasn't the lesson of Saturday. Just put a teal against everyone you hate. Unfortunately, that... I should say, I'm really loving at the moment, right now. I'm loving the education campaign going on amongst the Liberals about who are the other liberals, because the candidates they're touting to run against Peter Dutton

that all people I've never heard of, like Karen Andrews, who the hell is that? And so it's a really good education campaign. to learn about all these liberals he didn't know exist it. Hang on. I think Kevin Andrews should come back. Yeah, well, Karen Andrews sounds like a re-reboot of giving him. Is Kevin Andrews transition?

Nobody noticed. He was the trans candidate. Catherine Dave would have been very upset about that. We'll get to her. The only podcast without UAP ads. The Chaser Report. Charles Firth, then, next call. And again, this is one he got right.

He got it right. I guess we should assess his professionalism as a commentator. Would this have been what Anthony Greer would have said? Christina Keneally behind showing that she's behind in Fowler. And Charles's analysis is ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I think Anthony said that with his eyes, didn't he? Yeah, I think the whole of Australia, that was just reflecting a generalised mood, the general will. It wasn't revealing, though, how much journalists hate Christina Keneally but love Josh Frydenberg,

the fact they were both losing at the same time and the separate reactions on the coverage. Like, basically, you need to have, they need to have a lifeline for journalists about Josh Frydenberg losing. They're all crying and comforting each other. Even the labor people were, like, we're patting each other on their head and go, oh, no, Josh. We love Josh so much. And then Christina Kinelli, they go to her. And it's like, oh, yeah, yeah. Champagne corks popping.

It was a real, real, if I was Christina Kinelli, I would not have enjoyed the coverage on Saturday night. What's your theory on that, Chaz? Because is it just because she was not local and parachuted in? Or did people not really like Keneally before that happened? I always thought she was quite good as a parliamentary performer. I've met her. And I think if you meet her, then you probably wouldn't end up voting for her.

She's a horrible person. Charles Perth calls it early. Really? Yes, you're just a horrible, horrible person. I just want to say, because given we are going through Charles's tweets right now, if you are Christina Keneally or her lawyers listening to this, remember that that probably means you're a really lovely person. And that in 10 minutes, Charles will say, honestly,

I think Christina Keneally is the provost. Exactly, exactly. All I know is I'm not getting Charles to do my eulogy. That's all I know. Well, this is, I mean, there was, if, If you go through Charles's tweets, you can find everything. He says, I'm calling it. It's going to end up being a Labor Minority Government a few minutes later.

Actually, I think Labor might be a slight majority. The poor mum, I'm feeling for the mum at this point, who's still reading Charles's tweets. Yes, that friend never came. Yeah, she never came because I kept on tweeting things back and board. But I was sitting next to Charles, watching what he was doing, his method. And he had a notes app, right? And he just kept adding seats and taking seats out. Based on, I don't quite know what.

I think that's what Anthony Green does. What was your source, Chuck? Were you just watching one of the main networks? Or do you have phones out with contacts? Yeah, no, I was looking. No, no, I was just looking at the AEC results. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

Because actually, the TV is always about 15 minutes behind the results coming, the data. And so you can just appear like you know, you've got inside word. Yes. Is that how you appeared? Like, such as this, I mean, this analysis, damn, looks like Dutton might squeak home on the preferences of the various Nazi parties. Well, actually, to be fair, that was Andrew's call, I think on Tuesday of last week, was it there were, was it, did you say 28 Nazi parties running?

How did you feel about the Nazi performance last night on Saturday night? Yeah, I was a little disappointed not to see any of the Nazis getting up. I thought there were so many of them on my ballot paper. I mean, it was just seriously, an enormous number of, and I had to search, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. to find the actual liberal and labor parties on this enormous piece of paper full of nutters. So it was just surprising that none of them seem to prevail.

It is interesting voting, isn't it? Like, you get there having, you know, whether you've followed the campaign or not, but assume most people listening to this podcast probably have a level of engagement. You finally get into that little cardboard booths with your pencil and you realize you don't know most of the people running. Yeah, yeah.

Or even the parties. You've got it. There's a minimum of six. I think you need to vote. And after about three, I was done. Who's the pirate party? And I think the reason, like, legalised cannabis has a chance of picking up a Senate seat. It's clear.

Well, it's a literal party name. And I think, and there was another one called Federal I-Cack Now party. So you kind of knew where they stood. Then there's ones like reason or free. And you go, I don't really know what they stand for. So, you know, why isn't nice to have fucked it. I mean, reason used to be called the sex party. Everyone knew exactly what they were all about.

Sex. We were broadly post-sex, but reason, it's a much worse. I don't know about the federal I cake now. I don't think I ended up voting for that because... I think they're affronts. Because it was like, I bet you they're not in favour of the federalised. That's what you start to wonder. With the legalised cannabis party, they're against legalising cannabis.

I don't know what these people are. What about those acronym parties? Like, wasn't there T-I-L? No, T-N-L, and I look at it. I know what they support letters? It's the new... It's a career company. They were called the new Liberals, but then the AEC said they couldn't be called the new liberals.

So they're basically what the Liberals would be like if Malcolm Turnbull still ran them. So it would have been actually very popular in the TEL seats. So is Malcolm Turnbull in every seat? I think so. I reckon, though, we need to change the electoral rules to have, every party has to have a literal name. So, like, if we've learnt nothing else from legalised cannabis, it's that, oh, people who aren't really engaged, oh, that sounds cool of it for them.

So if, like, the Labour Party, weren't called Labor Party, but soft approach to climate action. You know, everyone was forced to actually literalise their policy position to make it more easy for punters like us to know who to vote. But then there would be a lot of parties called just in it for the superannuation party. So I say the Liberal Party's just purged all the Liberals who are actually in the party. And also wouldn't One Nation have a problem with the Liberal Party because the Liberal Party would be called the One Nation Party now that?

Yeah, well, what would the, yeah, what's all the Liberal Party? literally name would be, let's keep the Bilalaya family locked up in the Perth Detention Centre for as long as possible party. And they get a couple of votes maybe, but the rest of us would know where they stand on that issue. Well, there go. So, Charles, what do we think of Charles as a political analyst? Did he actually end up with it?

What was his summary? His final summary, I think he's kind of right in the fact that he says basically a probably a majority because of Western Australia. And he also says, on the plus side, if Dutton retains his seat, he'll be in Canberra a lot, which will make it easier for him to attend federal ICAC hearings. I think you called that right. Speaking about the reality show, it was W.A. that came in and basically decided the whole thing. I mean, it was once they went Labor, it was all over.

It was pretty much the only state where the predicted swing happened, wasn't it? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Like the swings elsewhere were pretty marginal, but W.A. was a genuine red wall. you know, I don't know if that's a McGowan factor or what, but that was sort of, again, yeah, couldn't have been scripted better to sort of leave the big rush of results right to the end.

It was because Scott Morrison said that they lived in caves. Do you remember that? Oh, the crudes. That was what it was. It was a crude. No, she can't call a state the crudes to get reelected. If you actually look at where the lives got hammered, the pandemic had a big effect.

Like, Frydenberg's loss is not just because of the teals and the climate stuff. It's because he was seen as a trade. to Victoria at the time and some of the others and similarly with WA is they backed Palmer against WA and made all these calls like they really got hammered by their position in the pandemic but also why did you put that in a tweet yeah to be fair the pandemic has killed a lot of coalition voters also I don't want to I don't want to distract with actual analysis but um but Christina Conelli I think probably it didn't help her that her seat was a center of

of the lockdown in New South Wales and Di Lee was the head of the resistance against the lockdown in New South Wales. Yeah, totally, totally. That's the fact. That there is a fact. I assume we'll edit out all this serious analysis. I note that DiLy is a former ABC gym. I was like I was in the ABC cadetship intake with DiLy. Really?

Really, really, 1990. Have you got any gossip to spill about it? Bring it down? Well, like Christina Kenealy, she's a horrible, horrible person. No, no, she's actually very lovely. She's a lovely person, and it's interesting to see who went further in their journalistic career. I'm doing a podcast on this Jason network. She's now an MP.

Well, let's leave this here for today. We'll reconvene tomorrow. We'll just all come back tomorrow. It's not as though we're pre-recording a batch of these in one sitting. No, no, no, no. We'll do that. Aguiz from Road microphones are part of the AcastCreata network. Catch you tomorrow with curiously the same people.

Thank you.