The Chaser Report - Top 14 News Moments of 2022 | Dylan Behan

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

Host of the News Fighters podcast Dylan Behan brings a Christmas gift to Charles and Dom; all the best (and worst) news moments from 2022! Follow News Fighters here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello, and welcome to The Chaser Report. I'm Charles Firth and with me today, as always, Dom Knight. Hello. And Dylan Bain. Hey. And so, hey, Dylan, you're in, where are you?

You're in South Korea, as I mean. I'm in South Korea. So I'm on a month's holiday. I just had a week in Malaysia and I'm in South Korea. And what was great in Malaysia was Stomo getting censured, was all. on the news in Malaysia. They're like, see, other countries are as dodgy as us. Oh, yeah, it was big news there.

You're lying. No, it was, Skomo getting censured, was on the nightly news in Malaysia. This is a country that just had a massive political crisis, and then they had to eventually put, Anwar Ibrahim, the guy that got locked up for those trumped-up sodomy charges. The biggest political news in years, and they had time for Scott Morrison getting censured. They must really hate the guy.

Yeah, well, they're like, see, other countries have corrupt leaders as well. We're normal. Yes, of course. And also, Malaysians don't really like Australians, do they? I mean, just, or is that a racist thing to say? Well, certainly not in the days of Keating and the Raquelstra. Yeah, that was, that was a... Mahati, yeah.

No, I think today they do. So they're all very friendly. They like us going over there at Holland, that's for sure. It's pretty funny. Oh, that's nice. Okay, good. Well, that's, that's good. Good on you for doing so.

Yes. So, Dylan, you, as always, have done an enormous amount of work to sort of bring us a year review, because you, of course, do the Newsfighters podcast each week, and you sort of collect footage just from everywhere. It's the most comprehensive coverage of basically any commentator in the country, isn't it? Thank you, yes. No, I also do it for work.

Like, I've picked up a bit of work this year finding clips for TV shows, which has been a lot of fun. So I've been all over the news this year finding lots of funny clips, and I thought I'd bring, as I did last year, bring a dozen or so in that I thought were, some are hilarious and some are insightful. Okay, so we've got insightfulness. If you need clips for anything, Dylan is your man. Yes, that's right.

Get him on board. Yes, to Clips. Okay, so where do we start? All right, well, I reckon, well, what's topical at the moment, of course, is Albo's got COVID again. Again, what's funny is he's been traveling all around the world the last six months, and where does he get COVID in Canberra at his office? down at the pub.

Well, didn't he go to a Nick Cave concert on Monday night, last Monday? And a Pixie show. He went to a Pixies show this week. He's going to more concerts than his probably teenage son does. I went to the Pixies on the weekend and I don't seem to have gotten COVID. I've missed out. I'll fucking miss out. I don't know, but don't you reckon the whole point is that he now has a salary?

Because he gets paid like half a million dollars a year, right? You would go out more if you were on his salary. Like, I reckon he's suddenly started earning, and he's going, what am I going to spend my money on? And he gets a free house. He could afford the concert tickets now. He gets two free houses. He gets two free houses.

He doesn't have to pay rent and he gets half a million dollars. You would definitely go out to more concerts. Yes, all of a sudden, those $180 pixies tickets are cheap. Yeah, yeah. You probably don't even care if they get scouts. He gets to go for free. Oh, you reckon? Yeah.

No, there'd be some rule about that, surely. not allowed to, with gifts. Although, when my sister used to be a politician, and whenever the art, and it was in New South Wales, and it was during the time when everyone was really corrupt in New South Wales as well, but not my sister though, but everyone wanted to be the arts minister because you get really good free tickets. Yeah. But you then become friends with the arts minister, because if you couldn't go, you go, oh, I'll

represent the arts minister at this event. And because, you know, that's, that's the thing you've got to do is arts minister. to turn it up to arts events. It was the best gig in town. Well, hang on. I was just thinking they all get free tickets to the cricket. Surely it might be the same for concerts. They just have to declare it.

Yeah, that's just to put it in the register. Albo's going to have this massive register of all the concerts he's been to. It'll be like Trump playing golf. Yeah. But it'll be a lovely diary to keep of all the concerts you've been to. It'd be lovely. Exactly. Anyway, so I thought the first clip I've got here,

Albo's, Albo did so much travelling when he came into office that he even lost track of what country he was in himself. Here he is in London when he went to the Queen's funeral. Have to listen. Well, it's a great honour to be representing Australia here. Quite clearly what we can see all around us is the affection in which Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth was held by people here in the United Kingdom, but also, of course, here in Australia. So he thinks he's in two countries at once there.

He sounded so tight. He sounded so tight. Yeah, he sounded like Dom normally does. Well, either that or he'd have had a few. Because a few whiskeys, surely they brought out the whiskey at the palace. Yeah, well, it would be, that's just in keeping what the Queen had for breakfast. It's what the Queen would have wanted. He's a sozzled our bar.

Well, he's probably just jet lag. I think the Queen's funeral did turn into a bit of a piss-up, because did you see that great clip of Trudeau singing Bohemian Rhapsody in the hotel bar? Oh, my God. What? Yeah, like all the dignitaries from all around the world were just getting drunk in the hotel bars. Trudeau were singing Bohemian Rhapsody.

I'm sure he smashed it. And then Albaugh got up after him. We just dissed this very bad version of Billy Bragg. But speaking of Trudeau, actually, we've had so many prime ministers that even Trudeau can't keep up with the name of our current prime minister. Have a listen.

The Canadian Prime Minister appeared to forget who he was. It's a real pleasure to be a meeting with a great progressive leader. After several excruciating seconds, Justin Trudeau almost got it right. With Tony and all our friends in Australia. When in doubt, just call the Australian Prime Minister Tony. We hate more Tonys than female Prime Minister. That's terrible, but true.

And speaking of Albo having COVID, because COVID's still been around this year, still quite a few people getting knocked around by it. What's interesting now, I'm on holidays in Asia. Everyone's wearing masks everywhere, all the time, everywhere, not stop. Really? Is there something happening over there? No, no, it's just the culture. Is there someone of those bird flus that they're worried about?

Indoors. Is there some disease we haven't heard of? They haven't stopped the mask wearing the last three years. Everyone's still wearing masks, indoors, outdoors, everywhere, you name. Dominic Perotay wouldn't like that. Why do they bother doing that? I mean, their transmission rates are way lower than Australia's. That's true.

Yeah, wonder why that is. Aren't they enjoying the freedom of not having to have the minor inconvenience of putting a mask on? One of the things I love, though, was when Victoria was getting rid of the mask mandate, their health minister, Mary Ann Thomas, had this piece of great advice talking up how important mask growing is. I made a decision based on the advice that I had received that further mandating of masks was not the most effective way to get the message out about the importance of mask wearing.

So basically she's saying telling people not to wear masks is how you inform them of the importance of wearing masks. Crystal clear. I want a mask that says wear a fucking mask on it. Moving on, I think that my favourite zinger of the year probably came from Adam Baird. They're just for context. after Albo's stuffed up not knowing the cash interest rate on the campaign trail.

No, it was the unemployment rate that he... The unemployment rate, yes, yes, yes. And just very quickly, talking of abject fact-checking exercises, you said in the speech that wages growth wasn't going particularly well. What's the current WPI? Google it, mate. I mean, it's not often you use the words, Greens, leader and funny in the same sentence, but that was pretty good.

Of course, Labor won the election, and one of the favourite things I loved was Sky News didn't handle it very well. Here's some of their reactions the day after the election. The Albanese government will change this country in ways that you will find will be a terrible, terrible tragedy. The next three years are going to be really tough. All that meant those manufacturing jobs, they'll just disappear. No petrol or diesel vehicles after 2013. Three disastrous and incompetent years of a teal's-led Labour government where Parliament obsesses over woke identity politics,

climate and indigenous issues as the economy grinds to a halt under their watch. We are going to have identity politics on steroids. What we're now going to see is the very same racist policies that are destroying New Zealand now being brought to Australia to destroy Australia. Because it's so obvious where this is going philosophically. It's moving ultimately to an official apartheid. Now we are faced with three years of hardcore left-wing government that will destroy the fabric of this nation.

We will see our living standards crushed, our livelihoods damaged, our cultural institutions devastated, our kids' future prosperity decimated. Just see the insanity of it, and it just makes me so, so angry, because this country is better than that. A little bit of alarmist. I really admire them.

to be honest, in their consistency with that, because that's the sort of perspective you only get. Like, the nation has just overwhelmingly said, we want major change. We want teals, we want greens, we want labour. And the security to come out and say that, knowing that you're funded by a tiny, tiny, tiny niche who's absolutely rusted on no matter what happens.

That's a rare thing. Every other politician, every other journal in the country was going, oh, well, of course, Scott Morrison was pasted years by date, but it's sky news, the Liberals are always in power. It's also interesting because, like, Alba had given none of that. Like, none of those things rung true. Like, Albo is the most boring, centrist sort of moderate middle of the road. His whole campaign was, don't give them anything to be scary about it.

Yeah, and so it was very, like, I don't know how, understand how anyone listens to it and goes, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Well, I mean, you'd have to listen to. Rowan Dean and not Snigger, which I always find difficult. I mean, this is the, like, Alba even completely ducked any identity politics. So, like, it's the opposite of identity politics on steroids. Like, every time he got asked a question, he just went, oh, I don't really know that. And just remind me how many mines they've closed since taking office and radically re-engineering

the economy. How's that going? Yeah, yeah. Exactly. The 18 new mines that they've opened in Queensland, you know, you know. And now that they're in opposition, the Liberals also seem a little bit lost. I think one of my favourite sound bites of the year was this inadvertently revealing one from Liberal Senator Jane Hume, trying to sum up the Liberals' position now that they're in opposition.

So on this, on fuel, should it come to an end? Well, that was our policy. But now? And it is our policy. It was our policy. We don't have policies. We're in opposition. We're not in government.

Well, you do? We don't have policy. Yeah. There's no policies. The point was we've got nothing. I think that really was accurate at that point. They've now got a kind of vague suspicion about the voice. Yeah.

I think that's the only thing they're doing at the moment. It's just being a little bit uncertain. But again, Alba hasn't actually said what it is. So it's very hard to oppose. You don't actually know what it involves at all. So, you know, well played Albo. It was a fun campaign. I know you guys had fun following the campaign.

The media, you know, the way the media works with the campaign? They basically shuttled around on buses to photo ops. and I feel like ScoMo, remember we got yelled at by pensioners in the pub and by uni students if they go to the pub and get yelled at. After that,

they tried to dial it down a bit and make it a lot more lower risk. So they took the media to a fishing shop, like a fishing and outdoors shop. But of course, the main reason they did that

was just to try and get the media to have all these great puns about Scomo being at the fishing shop. Here's a super cut of some of them. The Prime Minister, fishing for votes. Today he's fishing for votes. Scott Morrison hoping to lure more Australians

to vote for the coalition. In the New South Wales Central Coast, Mr Morrison hoping voters take the bait. Winning over the public can require a bit of bait. Hoping voters would be taken hook, line and sinker by his announcement. By casting $20 million casting for the votes of

weekend warriors. Although he wasn't keen to be on the hook for any questions on the pledge. Yes, good job, media. I feel like every single person that clip should be asphyxiated and gutted. Like a fish. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens. But speaking of puns, that wasn't as bad as the most puns in a single news report during the campaign trail came from Channel 9 Melbourne, when Josh Fryenberg was controversially endorsed by the head of Guide Dogs, Victoria.

Do you remember that? Channel 9 squeezed the most puns into a single story. Cut them all together. Have a list of dog funds. Politics is a dog-eat-dog world. But Guide Dogs Victoria, CEO, Karen Hayes, now on a short leash after she publicly backed member for Ku-Yong,

Josh Frydenberg, for re-election. And no amount of puppy-dog eyes can spare the organisation, the ire of the charity regulator. The treasurer says critics are barking up the wrong tree. Winning Ku-Yong will be no walk in the park for Josh Frydenberg,

nipping at his heels, independent, Monique Ryan, an underdog who could It would soon be top dog. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. I think there's some genoes there who, yes, need to get put to sleep. You know, just gently, respectfully.

They should be, well, at the very least, they should be ashamed and in the kennel house, or whatever it's called. Dog house. A dog house, yeah. I don't know, maybe they've worked like a dog on those puns. Moving on, Dylan. Moving on. Personally, for me, the single dumbest thing I heard on the campaign trail was this quote from John Howard.

Scott Morrison, a man who's demonstrated a mastery of the detail of government. No, to be fair, I think he's lost it. His understanding of the regulations by which people can get appointed to multiple ministries is unparalleled. Yes. Even John Howard didn't think to do that. he would have loved it can you imagine if howard had secretly taken peter costello's job that would have been absolutely delicious it's good to see john howard around on the campaign trail that makes me so nostalgic for all the days we used to chase him in the morning and so

hasn't been the same since i missed those days you can always tell that the libs are on the nose because they crack open the john howd like he's sort of that's the emergency procedure the liberal party's go-to emergency procedure just bring out the one guy you really really like Get John Howard off the shelf and just wind him up, watch him run off. All right, just quickly before we go, of course, the biggest news story of the year was, I don't have to remember the Queen die. Oh, that little thing. Yeah.

Yeah, I missed it. I was working on a TV show at the time. So I went through all the footage, hundreds of hours. I set up my TV recorders recorded 24-7. And what was great was people wanted wall-to-wall coverage, but there was nothing to cover. So they just box popped people endlessly. Of course, box pops, great source of comedy. As you guys remember, you guys used to still a lot of them on the show.

Here's some great ones. Some people were, their emotions didn't quite match the gravitas of the situation. They seemed a little bit excited to be part of history with the queen dying. Really excited and excited, but really sad. We freaked out when we found out that the queen died. We literally stopped on the corner and screamed about it for five minutes. It was crazy. She lived a pretty awesome life, didn't she?

You have to celebrate these things because now hopefully she has gone to heaven and she will hopefully have a happy time. That's very sweet. I mean, the sheer shock when a 196-year-old woman passed away, suddenly and unexpectedly. Too soon. I must say, though, I would have loved to be.

I mean, I hope we get it leaked one of these days. The fly on the wall when Liz Truss found out that it was just a couple of days. afterwards, because wouldn't you have thought, oh, fuck, I gave her COVID, wouldn't you? I thought it was Novichok. There's footage of Listrust in the House of Commons being handed a note. Oh, really? I think is that the Queen is sick.

Yeah, and the look at her face is, and then she ran out of Parliament. The Queen is sick, but is still likely to outlast your prime minister's shit. Of course, some people wanted to be part of history just for the hell of it. The day the Queen died, the BBC, went down to Buckingham Palace and just, interviewed people all night. And this guy came down to Buckingham Pallington about 2 a.m. And went and got interviewed by the BBC made a B-line. Have you seen. I actually, I came home after a work event and I turned on the CV and I saw you. And I thought, hold on a minute. Something's happening here. So I came down to see this be part of it.

I'm sure I'm not the reason why you came here is. I mean, this event. This event. And realize. The realising the people were here and... And you wanted to be here as well. Yeah, I did, yeah. Five minute walk. Five minute walk, that's why you can... It's good to have people who are completely stoned

because it's what Prince Harry would have done if he was in the country. There for the right reasons. I turned on the TV and I sort of come down and get on TV. If it had been six minutes, fuck it. But five minutes, I thought, yeah, it's all right. I love a neighbourhood, you know, just live around the corner from the palace. Yeah, I just popped down to my local. Palace.

Just, you know, I've been lovely neighbours to me. You know, like whenever I chuck a ball over the fence, the guards come and retrieve it for me. And then there was this rock spot, probably my favourite, maybe even my favourite box pop of the year. So Channel 10 was in Belfast and was interviewing people when the new King Charles visited. See if he can understand what he's saying. Oh, he's just a gentleman, like his mother, that's basically his mother, you know, the queen

herself. Here's a lovely woman and I think he'll be a good king. Good job, Channel 10. Did he refer to Her Majesty of the Queen as a spicy mother? Spiciest mother was it? Oh, you understood more of it than I did. I couldn't understand a word of it. Good job. I think Channel 10 was like, that'll do. Great. It was a person. It was a humid back. I mean, to be honest, I'm surprised that person's not one of the new car hosted the project. And of course, the worst take on the Queen's death. We all remember it probably came from Victorian opposition leader. Matthew die, paying tribute. It was time to remember the Queen, alongside myths and legends.

In all those times, in all those monarchs from figures well-known, King Arthur, Henry the 8th and so on, the longest reigning of them all was Queen Elizabeth II. God save the King. Oh, dear. King Arthur, yes, they're famous. She was one of the least fictional of all that. I must say, I remember Charles, I know that Dave Milboe has been doing a victim. LAP around having been the only journalist who thought that Labor would comfortably

win the Victorian election. And when you listen back and hear clips like that, the signs really were there for everyone to see that Matthew Guy was not going to make it. Did Daniel Andrews win? I've been purposely not paying attention to the news while I've been away. Yeah, yeah. You'll be shocked. You'll be shocked.

Yeah, I assumed he would on the basis of paying extremely little attention to Victorian politics. And apparently that was the way to predict it. Well, but I think the thing is that anyone who was absurd, like, anyone in the media who was observing, then I think desperate for an angle and decided that probably he wasn't going to win on the basis that everyone else in their same social circle was also saying that maybe there was a possibility that this would be an interesting election. Dylan, I must say, I always admire the hard work that you do, but dredging through all

of the coverage of the Queen, I'm astonished you're still doing your podcast and, in fact, haven't completely changed careers and become, I don't know, a massage therapist or something. Oh, look, nothing says comedy like the news. All channels filling 24-7 with absolute nonsense. It was so much comedy in there, lots of visual stuff. And I'm putting a lot up on, if anyone's curious, I'm over on the NewsFiders' Twitter at NewsFiders' Pod, I'm putting up a clip a day from the year.

It's like an Advent calendar of the year's funniest news clip. So if you want more funny clips, a few or more visual that I couldn't play here being in a podcast. Do you put them up on Instagram? as well? No, I should. I should, but more the Twitter. Okay, more the Twitter, okay.

Follow these fighters on all the social platforms. NewsFiles, because I must say, I follow you on Instagram. I'm not sure I... You can't schedule Instagram. See, Twitter, I just schedule and go on holidays. Can you schedule Instagram? I could have scheduled them all. I should have done that.

So what's the Twitter handle? At NewsFiders' Pod. And I've got two year and review episodes coming out this month, one with Beck Melrose and one, which is just all. all the funny clips of the year and all the big stories. So check that out on your podcast feeds. Oh, fantastic. I'm looking at the feed now.

It looks very entertaining. It looks great. And you've got some bone heads, which don't work for this podcast, but perfect. Oh, some great, some great boneheads, yes. And whatever the people dancing around in Studio 10? The studio 10, that's quite extraordinary. Dylan, you're a national treasure. Thank you so much.

Thanks for having me, guys. All the best. Happy New Year. Yes, you too. Enjoy the rest of your holiday. Crappy new news clips. Cheers, thanks guys. Our gear is from Rode.

We're part of the Acast Creative Network. See you later.