The Chaser Report - Trump Wins Election (as long as you don’t count all the votes)

Episode Date: November 26, 2020

This week James Schloeffel of The Shovel joins Craig, Charles and Dom to discuss election-stealing ghosts, Gerry Harvey's baffling popularity and the hotly-contested race to be Australia's second most successful news satire site. Plus trendy headlines from the always trending Rebecca De Unamuno.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In times like these, it's important to know who you can trust. At last, a new source that's reliably, reliable, informatively informational and never wrong. Unfortunately, you're not listening to it. Instead, you're listening to The Chaser Report. Welcome to The Chaser Report. Charles Firth's here. Craig Rucastles here. My name is Dom Knight. And we have a special guest, Charles, who's this other person in the room? Well, so I've got the press release here of this person.

I've actually never met him before. Never actually even heard of him. His name's James Schleffel. Sleffleffle, yeah. And he publishes a publication called The Shovel. The Shovel. How would you characterize it? It's a satirical website.

It's a bit like The Chaser, but more funny. Oh, funny than The Chaser. Is it like the But it'd be like the onion? It's a bit like the onion. Yeah. So which copied which? So did the shovel copy the chaser? The chaser copied the onion?

Well, I don't know. Let's ask Mr. James Schleffel. Yeah, that's how you pronounce it. Yeah. Look, lovely to be here. Sorry, what was your name? My name's Charles. Charles.

Yeah, great to be here. The onion is actually modelled on the shovel, would you believe? Oh, right. Yeah, little known facts. In reverse history. When did the shovel first come out? The shovel first came out. in 2012, I think,

which you know, you might think that the onion's been around for longer than that, but it actually hasn't. No, it actually hasn't. And your two websites

together make less money than the Butita Advocate, is that right? Well, Shut up. We don't talk about that. Yeah. No, let's move on.

But you have so much integrity. I mean, the shovel. But this press release is that James has actually released a book that's on sale at the moment. It's called the Shovel Annual 2020. Yeah. And the bizarre thing about it, Charles,

is, it was Charles, wasn't it? Yeah, it's Charles, yeah. That we actually collaborated on this, I think, through a third party. Because if you look at the, if you flip over the shovel annual, it's actually got the chaser annual on the back. Did you?

It does. Did you see that? Oh, what a coincidence. Craig, Craig, I'm beginning to suspect cross-promotion. You think this is something to set up. Yeah, yeah. I feel like Charles increasingly when he comes on the podcast it's to plug something else.

I had no idea that this was the same, Schleffel from the same shovel. You had no idea. We did it do the book together. You had no idea that it was two annuals for the price of one. You didn't know that. Hey, wait a minute. I just noticed, do we do live tours together?

We have done live tours together. Oh, right. You look familiar. I could see it. It's funny because it's really hard. I mean, I presume I thought you knew each other very well, but it's really hard to know with Charles whether he's putting on an act or it's just his natural brain damage.

Right. So it's really hard to know. I was just going with it, yeah. Yeah, the whole thing's an act. I'm kind of suspecting at some point that Charles is just going to pull off a mask and reveal himself. I love how we've got James on the show and we've managed to talk about me. But James, in all sincerity, where you live in Melbourne, right, when people in Melbourne say, do you know that Charles Firth guy, there's no way you're saying yes. No, no.

I mean, the thing I learned very early on is that you never admit to knowing Charles Firth. And that's, that's worked out for me well so far. But I've, this podcast now. I mean, this is listened to by millions of people, I think. So, so this is a disaster. And how have you, you've, how has your Melbourne a year been? Well, I don't know if you've heard, but we had this thing called COVID-19. Really?

Yes. I don't know if that came to Sydney. But it's, it's been a fairly big feature of 2020 for Melbourne. Never comes to Sydney. It's like, yeah. It's like the Grand Prix. Melbourne won the bid and just will not relinquish. Like the Harry Potter musical or something, you know.

Like they always just go to Melbourne. Sydney always misses out. So it was pretty hard. What we had to do, actually, it was interesting. We had to pretend that we lived in Sydney and not go out at all for about six months. We're used to that. How ironic. All the bars were closed.

There was no nightlife. We had to be home by 10pm. So we just had to channel that kind of Sydney vibe. And probably because you didn't have jobs, you couldn't afford mortgages anymore, which is like Sydney as well. Yeah, real Sydney vibe. Real Sydney vibe. Yeah, it's been a horrific year.

So I bet you had really warm weather and beautiful, you know, nature. I don't know. No, we didn't have that time. No, we didn't have that. No, we weren't that lucky. Oh, welcome, James. Good to have you here. Greg, what do you define as beautiful nature in Sydney?

I was thinking of the harbour. Oh, yeah. I thought you were thinking like Chetswood Chase or Parramatta Westfield. No, you know those beautiful sand dunes in Kernel that if you look away from the massive chemical process, processing plant you can't see. Yeah, beautiful nature. Nature.

Nature. On the show today, I'm going to convince all of you that Donald Trump genuinely won the US election and that he's been defrauded. It's true. I've looked at the evidence. Rudy Giuliani's presented. I've got five arguments that prove that it's all true. I'm going to ask people why they think certain things are trending.

Really? We're looking at trends in the chase. Finally, after 20 years. This is great. And I'm not doing anything. I'm lazy. I don't have anything prepared. I'll just read.

Can you tell me why you have your feelings? finger is bandaged over. Yeah, because I sliced it with a knife. Oh, I got a really... Show me. Yeah. I think I got, my, my wife got me this really sharp knife for my birthday. I had presumed because every single week seems to involve you a story from your life

about how shit you are, your general life. Yeah. I just presumed you like being, oh, I've got no stories today. You better quickly slice my finger off. Oh, okay. No, I'll be talking about my marriage. I thought you'd ordered a range of satirical chase a knife. and they hadn't arrived except that the sample cut your finger off.

I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll update you about the toilet paper because that is a fucking disaster. Yeah. You just gave it away. You should say I'll update you about the toilet paper. Will it be great or a fucking disaster? But before we hear about all these debacles, let's check in with Rebecca Dana Muno in the Chaser Newsroom.

The government has announced it is redeploying its entire job seeker budget towards helping Matthias Corman find a job. A spokesperson also said that aircraft that could have been used to repatriate Australian stranded overseas had instead been used for the former finance minister because Matthias really, really needed the extra leg room. New South Wales Premier Gladys Berrigalian has explained she ignored her own COVID guidelines and didn't self-isolate

because she was hopelessly in love with everyone she spoke to. As a result, the media have rushed to defend the Premier because, you know, she's just a girl in love. Melania Trump has styled the White House with a Christmas tree. The first lady described the tree as big enough to fit a new husband underneath. That's the latest Chaser news. Check outchaser.com.com.com for more update. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens.

This episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by The Weather. How nice is the weather today? Oh, it's so nice. Geez, I love this time of year. They're just some of the phrases you can say, thanks to the weather. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. Now, look, admittedly, the US government has now started the formal transition to the Biden presidency. But Donald Trump refuses to concede that he's lost.

And I've been looking at the legal evidence. And I think he's absolutely right. I think he won the election. And I'm going to prove it to you. using the arguments of Rudy Giuliani. Excellent. The first argument is access. Election observers from the Trump campaign

were not allowed into the count. And Rudy made a compelling point about this using a popular movie that we can all relate to. Did you all watch my cousin Vinnie? You know the movie? It's one of my favorite law movies because he comes from Brooklyn. And when the nice lady,

who said she saw, and then he he says to her how many fingers do I how many fingers do I got up and she says three well she was too far away to see it was only two these people were further away than my cousin Vinnie was from the witness they couldn't see a thing the personal lawyer of the president of the United States gentleman that was one of his strongest arguments that guy is insane yeah really yeah insanely good is that we're trying to say James insanely good What an argument. They couldn't see the vote.

So you can't supervise an election count if you can't see what's going on. Is my cousin Vinnie a binding case in the US Supreme Court? Like is that precinct? Yeah, well, it was. But then Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who actually created the precedent, died. She died. Yeah, so that'll be overturned.

She overturned my cousin, Vinnie. It's a sort of... I'd love to see that judgment. Yeah. It wasn't the cousin after all. But no, so this whole thing is about the Republican sort of scrutiny is we'd say in Australia were too far away from the count.

Now, look, admittedly, as good as an argument as my cousin of any argument is there have been a few issues applying it in Pennsylvania. So Trump's supporters there sued over being barred from watching the vote count. But when the judge asked were you admitted to the count, they were forced to say, yes, we were

present to observe the count. The judge said, I'm sorry, then what's your problem? The problem was perjury laws, it turns out. So those laws are ruining President up's case. Nevertheless, that's argument number one. It is good to see them having to go to court because, of course, it's entirely bullshit arguments that you're allowed to just say, you know, on Facebook or social media or

anywhere else. Now, Fox News, you can say this stuff. But it's a really strange for them when they have to go to a court where you're told you have to tell the truth. I mean, that's totally changed. They've screwed up all of their arguments. Look, it is making things hard for the Giuliani legal team thus far, but look, there are many more arguments where that came on.

Give me the next one. So the second argument is timing, okay? And look, and Giuliani's been saying, look, I'm an experienced prosecutor, which he was. He was very good in New York. Oh, really? That's how he, I know it might seem surprising.

He's a very good lawyer. He was, um, he prosecuted a lot of people in New York City. That's how it became. Using the, the, uh, my cousin, yeah. They were all, they were all innocent. Yeah. But he prosecuted them very well.

Yeah, he's still in prison. How many, um, people did he prosecute? I can't see. Yeah. So look, the second issue is timing, the second basis why it was all fraud. And the Giuliani argument here is that it's very fishy because in lots of swing states, he went to bed, right?

Sorry, let me start thinking. So the second issue is timing. Giuliani is saying, when I went to bed on election night, Trump was ahead in lots of states. And then the next day, Biden was ahead and then caught up. And he says, look, I know a conspiracy when I see one. This is a conspiracy. I've seen this stuff before.

This is crooked. What do you think about the timing? Yeah, no, he makes a good point. It's strange because when I first looked at the votes, which was on the morning of the election, they were equal. And yet later on, they weren't. I mean, this is ridiculous. It's rigged.

It's rigged. It's almost as if they've included the Democratic votes, and that's like kind of swung it towards the Democrats. I mean, I was always very suspect about that. That doesn't sound like that. This sounds ridiculous, James. You've been in lockdown too long. You've been crazy.

No, but I think he's got a good point. Like, if you count the Democrat votes, then suddenly Biden wins, doesn't he? Like, that's the whole problem. That is one of the problems that they're very suspicious. The Trump campaign is contending with. Now, look, some have suggested that this whole timing thing of Biden catching up is because in those states run by Republicans, the Trump campaign actually asked them to pass laws to count the postal votes last.

And then they said, all their voters, go and vote in person on election day, so that only the Democrats ended up casting postal votes. Now, that is evidence of a big conspiracy, admittedly by Republicans to discredit the postal votes, but still, suspicious. Yes. Well, we should just throw the whole election out, you know? Yeah, absolutely.

So the third issue is mess, and this is another real scandal. This is a thing that happened in court in the past week. So one of the lawsuits that the Trump campaign ran was based on a huge number of regularity in Michigan's vote. Michigan's a key swing state. And they mapped the vote titles in Michigan versus the populations of those counties. And they found thousands upon thousands of fraudulent votes.

Now, admittedly, this was because what they did was compare the Michigan vote totals with the population figures of Minnesota, which is much smaller. But when you do that, guys, there's a big discrepancy. It's very suspicious. Very similar names, though. I mean, they're close. I get confused. And I'm not a US electoral.

official. It must be hard for them. How do we know that the election officials didn't get the states confused? It's funny because if you actually, if you, if you look at it, the, you know, your votes in the United States and you base it on the population of the USSR, it was a bad turnout this year. That's terrible. Now, look, in another law suit in the same state of Michigan was dismissed by a corrupt judge this week, simply because the accusations of ballot fraud had, and I quote,

no date, location, frequency, or names of the employees involved. Other than that, though, I'm here to tell you it was compelling. Very compelling. So what did they say? They just said there's a general... Yeah. It's a vibe. It's the vibe.

It's like the castle. It's very the castles. And so do these, just do you know, do these lawyers for Trump, do they get to bill for the time that they're spending court? Is that why they're doing that? That's a sensitive topic, actually, because quite, most of the lawyers that they hired have actually resigned from the case because they think it's unethical and they'll get disbarred. because they're lying. But not everyone. Look, things are going to get more suspicious from here

because the next one's an absolute doozy. It's Venezuela, the fourth issue. Yes. Now, Biden's lead increased after the first night, not just because of all the postal thing, but because the voting machines were manufactured by a company called Dominion voting systems. And they all used, our campaign says,

a software program created by Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan strong man. Does that sound suspicious to you? Yes. Yes, there is. Especially as he's dead and he's been dead. dead for many years. Yeah, since 2013.

No wonder Hugo Chavez ended up losing kind of, you know, the love of the people. He was spending too much time programming. That famous computer programmer, Hugo Chavez. The argument he really should have got somebody else in his office to do that. When you become the leader of a nation, don't keep programming. You don't have to do everything. Yeah, exactly.

Do you think maybe Hugo Chabez is alive, but he just said that he was dead so that he could spend more time. So it's not just Chavez, it's also the Chinese Communist Party and George Soros, because it's always George Soros. So them and the ghost of Chavez programmed these machines to cast hundreds of thousands of votes for Joe Biden. Of course they did. And this argument was well made by a lawyer called Sidney Powell.

Here she is on behalf of the campaign. What we are really dealing with here and uncovering more by the day is the massive influence. of communist money through Venezuela, Cuba, and likely China in the interference with our elections here in the United States. The Dominion voting systems were created in Venezuela at the direction of Hugo Chavez to make sure he never lost an election. Which he didn't. To be fair, he was a dictator. It's a strong argument. So I forgot Cuba was involved as well. But I don't remember. I don't remember Venezuela having like a vote count. Like I didn't.

That's not the thing that they did with voting machines. But I appreciate that in a kind of dictatorship. If you kind of rig it to the point where you're like, say, well, let's do it by the programming of our intellectual machines. Not just by locking up our opponents. Yeah. Now look, what they've said,

what they're saying is that the definitive proof that this happened is that Biden stayed in his basement and didn't campaign. He didn't need to because the fix was in, guys. Either that or the pandemic, but I'm thinking it was the fix. No, it was the fix. Yeah, the fix is in. There was an issue with Sidney Powell, though, I have to admit, if I'm going to be perfectly honest with you,

she was sat shortly after saying that. Now, some say that it was because she was getting a bit embarrassingly crazy talking about millions of votes stolen by a communist conspiracy. I think it's because she said this. It can set and run an algorithm that probably ran all over the country to take a certain percentage of votes from President Trump and flip them to President Biden. President Biden, she gave the game away.

Didn't we see? Ah. Wait a minute. Is the way they were transferred the people, like, on the election day instead of voting for Trump, voted for Biden? Yeah, it's not allowed. Look, that is probably the biggest issue that the campaign is contending with. That's because Hugo Chavez was in the voting booths.

He was pressing the button. Now, there is just one more problem that the Trump campaign is trying to overcome. According to NBC News, the president, and is very worried that his campaign's legal team is made up of fools whose failures and ridiculous press conferences are making him look bad. I can't see why. I agree with all the other arguments that were really sane, but I don't agree with that one. The Chaser Report, now with extra whispers.

The Chaser Report is brought to you by the weather. The top trending conversation topic across Australian taxis today and every other day, come to think of it, the weather. The Chaser Report More news Less often Okay guys I've got a game for you The closest to the pin wins this

The game is Why Was It Trending You gotta try and figure out Why these particular terms were trending On like social media Oh yeah Okay what's the story It's just to test

How up you are on stories right Let's start with an easy one Should we have an opening for it Why was it trending That's much better Yeah, we should. That was trendy, Charles. If only we could find somebody you could do that.

Yeah, okay. Okay, let's start with an easy one. Prime Minister. Why was the Prime Minister trending? What, the actual term, Prime Minister? Yes. Okay. Because...

Bunnings had a sale. Because there was a new curry recipe out? No, no. I reckon it was the photo, the photo, which I'm sure will be the most iconic of Skomo's entire career. What? Of the suit on top? And the thongs and stubbies on both of them. Oh, you know what stubbies, they're board shorts.

Yes, yes, yes. I think that played into it. Did you see? And there was more than that. It was also the one of him on the exercise bar. So the ISO photo shoot. Is that what I was? Don't you hate it when you're in isolation and there's just photographers everywhere?

Yeah, like it's justified me. Is it, I do not understand this isolation. Like, is this cameraman having to spend two weeks locked in the lodge with him just to take photos of him? I think so. He can't go home afterwards. I think he's at home I think he's in the lodge But the camera people

Oh the camera person Was it long lens maybe Yeah well this is it Was he paps I just love that I just love that Scomo is now In a Canberra bubble Of his own creation

I don't know how they took those photos And what about the serving staff Like he doesn't cook his own meals No it's because it's all bullshit It's because But he's meant to be in two ex isolation No it's just a fucking image It's not

I understand it's a publicity image It was like done by the official photographer. It's not like he was caught, oh, you caught me, you know. No, no, no, that's what I'm saying. He's like, he went, oh, yeah, let's get it. He probably has his stylist in there within the world. How many people are working on you?

Hundreds. Hundreds. Definitely hundreds. And I bet you they just all go home at the end of the day. It's a complete, you know, like Hollywood set. But I think Gladys Sparajiklian is really missed a trick by not having the photographer around during the period where she didn't self-isolate after the COVID test. Like just the pictures of her fighting in Parliament, office

door open, people coming in, that would have been great. Well, she didn't need it because she was still out in public. But it's when you're isolating, you really need an official photographer to show you're isolating. No, but I actually felt really sorry for Gladys because she actually said that

the reason why she met with all those people after she'd had the desk is because she was just hopelessly in love with them. Yeah, yeah. Did you think, I do think it was a bad look? Look, in answer to I realize that I was the one that should have the answer to this question.

You do not know. You don't know. Prime Minister is trending for that reason and a number of others because he's the Prime Minister of the country in the news a lot. But yes, I think that is the major reason he is trending. Okay. Hang on, but why would people, well would Prime Minister and not Skoma be trending? I know.

This is the weird thing. Why are we calling him Prime Minister? Like, we've never done that before. Are you sure? Because he finally saw him in, you know, such Prime Ministerial garb, like, you know, in their jacket and then board shorts? Are you sure it's not because the Prime Minister of India, like, did something for the billion people? Well, that is the other thing that helps the trend is that there are numerous Prime Minister in the world.

All right, don't point out the flaws in the game. Yeah, and have you looked up any of the answers? Yeah, that was the answer. There's a lot of reasons it's trending. All right, this one has only one reason. Okay, why is Jerry Harvey trending? Oh, because he's complaining about not making enough. money. I mean, that's usually the reason.

That's usually the reason. Why would that trend? That's just every day. That's every day. Sorry, you're right. Yeah. I actually, I know this because his firm, which I don't know what the name of his firm would be, but whatever it is. Harvey Jerry, I think. Harvey Jerry took about $7 million in JobKeeper payments. And then he's had this amazing year, because everyone's just gone out and bought stuff at Harvey Norman. Yeah, there's sales spiked massively. Yeah. And he's made extra $20 million in. One of the side effects of COVID is you're like,

I want a really terrible couch that has 12 cup holders in it. And most importantly, it's got to be overpriced. I know, I'll got a Harvey Norman. I want a chair that is so gigantic, you can't get it in the door. You know what I want? I want a TV that costs a bit more than if I went to J.B. Either that or... For the same thing.

How can I buy furniture but also support a real fuckwit? I know. It's either that or Jerry. Harvey's training because of the great Black Friday prices at Harvey Norman. Check them out right now. Thanks, Jerry. Oh, man, I should have checked today's sponsor before. Yeah, you're in a halfway here. And then he got, did he have some bonus or something? There was some controversy. I can't remember. Yeah, you're halfway there. James, you know. Was it that they're now offering 700 months interest free?

Until the next pandemic. Oh, wait. Did he die? No, no, no, no. So it's, it's, it's, it is that, it's part of the job here, but it's also that there's a company that he part owns that does, like, school clothing and that. And they've asked for people to volunteer at their shops because this is so many customers right now. Wow.

So you can actually meet as rich as him and go, ah, can we get some people to volunteer at our shops? That'll cut the costs. So, wait a minute. So, and what do they get in, what do the volunteers get in return? Like, exposure. Like, yeah, literally exposure. of the elements, yeah, yeah.

They die of exposure. They get a really shit price on an amazing 32-inch TV. You get that warm feeling of knowing that you're supporting Jerry Harvey. All right, so that's why Jerry Harvey is trending. Okay. Why is Nintendo Switch trending? Because they finally are on site. Like, in March, there was just a global shortage because everyone went,

oh, COVID, let's buy a game system from three years ago and play. No, the answer is. It's just an ad they've paid to trend. That makes more sense. Finally, finally, why was Greg Norman trending today? Oh, I know this one. It's because there was a picture of him with a massive cock. No, was that a picture of Jerry Harvey?

Were they together? No, it was Scott Morrison. It was the Prime Minister. Yes, that is true. Playing Nintendo Switch. When you say it was a picture with a massive... What do you mean? Was he wielding a giant knob?

That makes it suggest that he'd kind of brought one along for you... Well, maybe he did. I don't know. I saw the picture. He was in his board shorts, I think, and it looked like he was quite well and down. Is that why they call him the Great White Shark? That's why they call him the Great White Shark. But I don't know, maybe he's had some work done.

I don't know. Is that why he wasn't very good at putting? He said he got in the way. It's close game. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It seems like that. Yeah, that was it.

He was, I think he, look, again, I, and this is an important part of the format of this. I didn't really look into the answer too much. But I think, yeah, he put out some, you know, Instagram photo of him on the beach with his dog. And he's got, and he gave a dog a bone? Yeah, he's gave a dog a bone. Exactly. There you go. There you go.

So, yeah, have we learned, have we learned a lot for this segment? I like this segment. Can we get, why is it trending trending on Twitter for next week? Yeah, if we pay an ad for it. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Today's episode of The Chaser Report was brought to you by The Weather. If you can't think of anything interesting to say, just talk about the weather. It's nature's conversation starter for dull people.

The Weather. None of the medical advice contained in the Chaser Report should legally be considered medical advice. The Chaser Report. Look, it's almost the end of the podcast, and big thanks to our producer, Mike La Briley. haven't yet fully explored the massive business fuck-ups with this week, Charles. So let's just jump into that, shall we? Well, it's not a huge update, but on Monday, I emailed our two, we've now got two warehouses because I had, sort of...

This is for all the toilet paper. This is all the toilet paper. So 8,000 rolls of toilet paper are somewhere in Sydney. Yeah, and did you know, I didn't know this, a couple of weeks. ago this guy contacts me and says have you paid the tariffs on your toilet paper yet and it was like I didn't know toilet paper had bloody tariffs because it's all printed in China and and so I had to pay like another fucking $450 in tariffs to this you know shipping agent I know I know you're supposed to be a lefty charles but I just don't believe it he's like oh got to pay tax toy

Oh, bloody hell. Just because I've got some cheap labour from China. I've got to pay tariffs for the local workers. I don't know. I don't mind paying tax. I don't mind paying GST, but there was GST. There was also a tariff. I say you like the liberal taxes, do you?

Is that right? James, are you sure you want to be in business with this man? We've tried it. We can't recommend it. I've got nothing to do with this toilet paper. In fact, the first I heard about this toilet paper was last night. And it sounds like an absolute disaster. So, James, as someone with a really successful,

Sederical website. Do you find the need to sell shit merch? I sell really good merch. You're the guy who said, oh, you should sell mugs. I sold mugs. I did not say that. And then you said, oh, yeah, that's why I stopped selling them because they smash. But Charles, he's your, he's your competitor.

Mugs have smashed. So, okay. He runs the other website. That's a satiric website is not a pituita. You're trying to undermine. Yeah, he's trying to destroy you for the inside. But to be fair, if I was going to be. reading between, choosing between two

Stuart websites. Yeah. I would clearly choose the one that had 8,000 rolls of toilet paper. Anyway, it's just market edge. Can we just focus a bit? So which is that, so it's now landed in Sydney. Like it's somewhere in Sydney. Oh, the toilet papers landed? It's at, it's at a holding place

in Metraville. Right. Right. And then, and then I got this notification saying your congratulations, your toilet paper has been delivered, right? And I went, yay, I wonder where It's been delivered to because we've now got two ware. Like I actually had to go to the second warehouse.

A warehouse for the toilet paper, right? So I contact both of them saying, has the toilet paper turned up? There's no toilet, but I don't know where it's gone. You've lost 8,000 rolls of toilet paper? Yes, it's somewhere in city. And then I looked back today on the shipping thing and it's now in transit again. So they've obviously taken it. So if anyone knows where my toilet paper is.

Yeah, if anyone sees 8,000 rolls of toilet paper is. Yeah, if anyone sees 8,000 rolls of toilet paper. please and contact Charles Firth. Do you know my favourite part of this story though is that when you finally get this toilet paper and you start selling it online and then you have to ship it to people. No, no.

It is the most expensive thing to ship in the world. Yes, do you know how much it's going to cost? Lots. $27 per item to ship. What? That's his money down the drive. 27 dollars to ship some toilet paper. No, because it's really bulky.

Are you the worst businessman on earth? Craig, are you able in the context of the Warren Waste to investigate wastes of money? Hey, hey, oh, wait a minute. I think there's some late-breaking news from Rebecca Day and Amino. Don't change the subject, but there is. America has been left reeling in confusion after the president-elect selected people for the top jobs

based on, quote, experience and qualifications. Meanwhile, outgoing President Donald Trump slammed the nominations, saying if he was any good as president, he would have picked Hunter Biden for, Secretary of State. Look, unless Charles, you have any more disasters to spook, that is all we've got time for. Don't forget to check out chaser.com.

com.au and James, the shovel website, which is the shovel.com. Can they also find you on Twitter and TikTok and Facebook? Not TikTok, Jesus. But all the other ones, yeah. I won't go through all the details, but you can find them. Yeah, just keep searching. Just search James. Just quietly.

Not a very common name. Craig, just quietly. Do you think we should have maybe got into business with James, right? than Charles. I regret. Yeah, the show was looking pretty good right now. Catch you next time.