The Chaser Report - US Civil War Special

Episode Date: November 5, 2020

Craig Reucassel rejoins Dom and Charles for our US Election Special, as we deliver the most authoritative coverage possible with a totally unclear result. Also, how The Chaser got its Twitter account suspended, and the latest up to date breaking news from Rebecca De Unamuno.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In times like these, it's important to know who you can trust. At last, a new source that's reliably reliable, informatively informational and never wrong. Unfortunately, you're not listening to it. Instead, you're listening to The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report. This week we have Charles Firth Dom Knight and Craig Rookcastle subbing in Fenina Ayama. Hello, Craig. Welcome back.

Good to be here. Thank you for saving. the world in between podcasts but look today the big feature the most important competition in the world this week it's the only story anyone's talking about the only game in town in the entire world did any of you guys win anything on the melbourne cup yeah no i didn't i was very unlucky this week on the melbourne cup i've i've got to the point now where i only bet on what's going to die during the race yes i only bet on that but i missed it i missed it i missed it I know. I put 50 bucks on Joe Biden.

Good bear. I know. The odds wouldn't have been very good. Well, the thing is, it's like, how long is this the moment? It's about 12 minute race. It's longer than it needs to be, is the answer. It's a good chance he died, true. Oh, definitely. Yeah, yeah. So, I lost ever, man.

Oh, that's shit. There's terrible. So seven deaths in seven years. And, I mean, some might say this is a PR. Are we still on the US? Yeah, some might, yeah. There's going to be a lot more than seven deaths in the US election. We'll get to that.

I mean, my question is, what do they do with the cup? Do they rebrand it? Does it become simply betting on death? Does it become the hunger games? I was thinking maybe we should get some other people with fashions on the field to run around and see how many of them die on route. I hadn't realised, you see, I'm kind of, I know this is becoming quite a controversy around the Melbourne Cup. I hadn't kind of thought it through, and it was only the issue that somebody really explained it to me.

And that is that you basically, because it's, what's it called, the system is... It's a handicap. Handicap system. If you're putting a great deal of weight on top of the horses. Yes. So you're getting to run around with a lot of extra weight. That's why they die. Exactly.

This is what I'm saying. I hadn't realized that they were... It was like, I'd always thought, well, you know, a horse is going to die. Are you arguing that they should have put a whole lot of weight on Joe Biden so that he'd die and you'd win your bed? I guess I just hadn't realized it was quite that bad. So it's kind of like, it's kind of, it was basically asking them to run around

with all this extra weight. It's kind of like asking me to exercise post-COVID lockdown. I was a much higher chance I was going to die in that period. Yeah, so I didn't have got that. So it's sort of F-45, isn't it? It's F-45. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it should, the problem is because all the jockeys are the same size,

you don't recognise that there's this handicap system. You don't recognise the amount of weight on them. What do you mean? Well, you don't know that because the jockeys are all small, right? They're tiny, yeah. So what you should do is you don't know that this one horse is carrying 50 kilos, and this one's got 30. Yes, you do.

You look up the bloody form guide. I want to see it visually, Charles. I want to see it visually. I want to see it visually. And that's, I reckon what you do. You're getting fatty bum bars in there. Like, for instance, you know, you chuck, chuck you on one of a horse.

Yes, that would be a huge ending up. Exactly. They die in the opening seconds. But at least Bill there to go, why is that horse struggling? Oh, man, he's got Charles on it. And imagine the ratings when the green shutters go down and then he doesn't make it. The green curtain.

It's true. It would make it hard for the vets to come in. I have the big injections going, man, which one they'll put? This one looks way less healthy than the other one. I'm just glad that there's fat jokes and I'm not the target. Anyway, let's check in with Rebecca Dana-Muno in the Chaser Newsroom. Besieged Australia Post-CEO Christine Holgate has today stood down from her role after a shock scandal saw the CEO do the exact same kind of dodgy stuff that most company boards do

without anyone saying anything. Stating that she was resigning effective immediately, Holgate handed in her resignation letter, which should arrive sometime between 8am and 8 p.m in 6 to 8 weeks, assuming the weather's good. The nation of Canada has today frantically begun construction on a border wall following reports that Trump may yet remain president of whatever remains of America. However, the border wall construction has already proven difficult due to the millions of Americans flooding over the border every minute. I'll go anywhere just to get me out of this shithole country, one man said as he dodged border guards. I already tried the Mexico side, but that was impenetrable. Turns out some idiot built a wall over there.

Experts across America have today declared Donald Trump a huge loser on proportions we have never seen before, also noting that there's apparently some kind of election on. Looking at the numbers, Trump is one of the biggest losers in the history of America, said one statistician. Also, he's really not doing too well in the polls. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happened. The Chaser Report, yesterday's take on the U.S. elections.

The other big contest, of course, this week, the U.S. election. And look, what a shemozle. What a shining token of democracy and inspiration to the whole world, Charles. Can I just say I called this election eight months ago on Twitter. You can go back through my food. Yeah. And I said, this is. how it's going to play out and it's totally played outload.

And just so I can know, how many different calls did you make on Twitter to find this one that worked? Craig, are you saying that I have strongly held, but strong opinions that are loosely held? Is that what you're saying? No, I'm saying that you cheated and put out 1,300 tweets. No, that's, I actually did that today. No, John did that. For the record, Joe Bunton's going to win, Donald Trump's going to win, Kanye West's going

win that loopie Marianne Williams is going to win and clue through the the giant beast from the swamp no see that's boring I I take a stand and I stand behind it and my whole point was it doesn't matter how many votes were cast for whoever it was like that's all sort of fundamental misunderstanding what no he actually is kind of close he does share the view with Donald Trump to be fair which is that it's all about showmanship like you know the whole whole point is that and in America it doesn't even matter if

you win on the night you lose on the night if you can then like constitutionally if you can then convince the governor of Wisconsin to just reverse the vote then under their constitutional system

he can just go oh well Wisconsin went Democrat I don't care in hindsight the people that framed the Constitution America regret putting in that bit about If you can just talk the governor of Wisconsin around, he can just change the election. That's in hindsight that is bad.

Hang on, I'm going to have to stop you there, Charles. That's what the founding fathers wanted. Charles, you're in danger of making a serious point about the election here. That's not what this podcast is for. No, but all I'm saying is I have called it, and I call it 1231 today. You did. Literally, the results were coming in,

and Dom said we've all got to record our results when we know the result, and we're willing to call it, go on record. You know, this is very serious stuff. I want, you know, like I called it first last. Yeah. It's now 1231 p.m. Sydney time, and I'm calling this election for Donald Trump. He looks like he's going to win North Carolina.

And there's no path to victory for Biden. That's guaranteed. I mean, Craig, you'll agree the showmanship in the national show. The raw charisma. But it's true. Like, Trump. I'm not in North Carolina, there's no, there's no path to victory of Biden. You're not giving Trump's victory speech, so you don't just have to give him states whether

or not they've been counted yet. We'll get on to that victory speech in a second. But Don, did you make a call? I then one minute later, having her, saw, like, this was simply because Florida was looking iffy and Charles went, I'm calling it! And I did this. And what do you do? At 1232 p.m., I say that Charles is full of it and that Biden will do just five.

and win. And I'm largely saying this to be contrary, but I believe it. So I, on the other hand, took a different approach. You took a while. I took a while. I didn't just rush one minute afterwards. You were Anthony Greene. I looked at the data.

I kind of really crunched the numbers. I looked at what was going on. You were Nate Silver. Exactly. I wasn't going to make some crazy call. So this was my call. It is 156. and Biden has been given the kiss of death,

Tom said he was going to win, so Trump's got this. Oh, there's no coming back from that. I mean, once Tom was on his side, I mean, Biden came out. Did you see the rally with all the car horns and all that? And he went, yeah, I'm confident. We're going to do this thing. No one explained to him that I had said he was going to win.

Exactly. He wouldn't have been so confident. Did you notice that this is the ridiculous. This is the difference between the coup candidates. Trump got a whole lot of crazy people with guns and stacked the Supreme Court. And Biden just got Dom on side. Bad move Biden. It's unclear whether I or Kamala Harris has been more useless for his campaign at this point.

But I mean, Donald Trump, you've got to hand it to the man. I mean, at the point that we're recording this, we have no idea what's going to happen. It's completely unclear. That's not true. It was gone to 12 months ago. I've already called it. And also Donald Trump came out and said this. Frankly, we did.

win this election. So our goal now is to ensure the integrity for the good of this nation. This is a very big moment. This is a major fraud in our nation. We want the law to be used in a proper manner. There you go. Well, let's, uh, it's, uh, it's one of them.

There you go. But that's all you need. That's all you need in America. Because, look, good Joe Biden. He is the most useless communicate. Like if there's one thing that this election campaign has proven, he just cannot construct a narrative. So who's going to win in the next few weeks? If it's a contested election, who's going to win? The guy who stands up and dances at everything or the guy who hides in his basement and doesn't want to talk to anyone. He's what?

Trump has won. I think the problem is that I think Trump made a fundamental mistake when he called it, when he gave his speech. And I'm not talking about the fact that he played music. Like, here comes to president. He played three million flags there. And he claimed he'd won. The thing was, is he basically said, we're going to take this to the Supreme Court.

Yeah. Yeah. And the problem with that is that that really pisses off his core constituency, which is crazy guys with guns, flags and trucks. Yes. He's been building them up. Like, they've been whipping them to a frenzy for months going, you guys are going to get to play come election day and now he's gone i'm going to give it to

the supreme court to decide the selection that is a bad mood i mean they're already there ready to just ram biden buses off the road exactly if biden tries to they're going to have a huge concord like they're all going to come out from the woods with their guns that they've dug up and they're just going to shoot everyone like why deny them the pleasure of shooting joe biden at this point exactly i mean i the supreme court i would have left was the third option I would just call, I'd want it, call out the militia, and then... And bring out the green curtain for all the Biden supporters. I mean, it's not entirely clear that Biden's going to make it through this period.

He's about to turn 78 years old. He's under a lot of stress. How old is Trump? I think he's 74. He's just pretty chicken. He's brightly. I mean, it was commented on today how it is quite extraordinary. He's quite good stamina.

He does. For a man who just had COVID. Yeah, for a man who's had COVID. I reckon they gave him some pretty good shit when he went into that hospital. Well, Don Jr. has some good dealers, I think. Yeah, yeah, exactly. A special dexamethos. This is through this way.

South American trade has been good on this way. The Chaser Report. Less news. Less often. The Chaser Report. Bringing you all of the most outdated coverage from the 2020 U.S. elections. Actually, watching the coverage today, you know, I was disappointed with And speaking of drugs, was it got to a point where Michael Rowland, you know,

like the ABC Breakfast News Breakfast. Yeah, well, big draggy. No, that's not what I'm saying. He'd been like broadcasting for about 25 hours. And I was just really sad that they let him go. I wanted to see like, you know, what happened in the 40th hour of Roland. We need you still, Michael, we need you. Roland.

He was just going to cross to Roland, calling weird shit. Paul and Kanye winning. Have they let Anthony Green go yet or is he still around? Or is he not human? No, because he just seamlessly went from the Queensland election through to this election. And I think he's getting ready for the 2023 New South Wales election at the moment. Yeah, I did wonder why he gave some of the early states to Palishe.

So now that Trump has won the 2020 election, who is, who they're going to run, who the Republicans going to run, in 2024. Donald Trump. Donald Jr. No, Donald, Jay, Trump, you're not going to tell me that he's not going to have a third term. Just because the Constitution says so, as you say, the rules don't affect this guy. He's going to be there after he dies.

He's going to be there for many terms after he dies. I'm glad you've called it, Don, because if you've called it, then it's definitely wrong. Yeah, it's a good sign. Speaking of calling it, our good friend Chas, who, of course, is hosted planet in America, actually knows. And next he knows. He does. He texted me at 234 saying still Biden.

Really? That said, I don't know if this in any way undermines how much I respect him, but if you saw this, this is my favorite part of the election coverage, was early on in the day they let Chaz take over Anthony Green's wall. I heard about this. I haven't seen the footage. What happened? It's great.

First he takes off, he just keeps tapping. He can't get anything to change. And then suddenly they're like, hang on a second. I can't understand why Biden's behind by someone. so much. And it turns out that Chaz's ass has accidentally, like, knocked into California and taken it away from the Democrats. But why did he, what I want to know, why did he wear a t-shirt today?

Like, there's, like, he's been building up for four years. Sure that you put on a shirt. His whole schick is that. Yeah, he wears the campaign t-shirts from, ironically, from years gone by. Yeah. Like, he's the, he's like, he's, he's, like, see, I don't. watch the show. I just want to know.

He's like fat Todd Samson. He would be so upset. He'd be eating more fennel for weeks. I just want to know, though, when he took over Anthony Green's computer, could he find the word document called Document 1 with all the information? I just want to know how Anthony Green, you know, sort of dealt with letting somebody hold his computer. It was very funny, actually, because they basically said, hey, and Anthony

Green has agreed for Chas to take his computer, right? They went to get out of his seat. And Anthony Green just like went, right, first I'm going to take you through this. And he spent about five minutes taking through his seats and I thought, oh, he's not going to let him do it. And Chaz is like sitting there on his edge of his seat like a little puppy, desperate to get at it. And he finally, when he let him have it, it proved that Anthony Green was right.

He shouldn't have let Chis giant ass near the screen. But then again, the ABC has let Chaz for many years now have a reputable American politics show. So, you know, I'm surprised, though, Craig. I know you're a company man. I know you are. But why on earth were you watching the ABC coverage of the election? I thought you were talking about American ABC at first.

No, because I was just, I was, I was the only thing I could get on my computer. No, she, bright bar. That's why I call it from. Bright Barth. I was on Fox News. You can get Fox News on YouTube. And this could be a good tip because this is going to go for weeks more, right? Like, you just get Fox News on YouTube.

And it was actually quite strange. And that's the state-run service, isn't it? That's owned by Trump. Yeah, by the US government. But it was quite bizarre because there was one point where they gave Arizona to Biden. Yeah, yeah. Which is one.

Everyone got incredibly punching and angry and the White House called them all and Trump got angry and they brought the nerd out from the back room where he'd been crunching the numbers. And he'd executed him on screen. Yeah. And even Karl Rove came back and from, you know, from the sort of pit of doom. would they keep them in between elections and, and challenge this thing in Arizona.

So it was bizarre because for a few moments, like actual facts were on Fox News. I don't know what to make of it. Now, one thing that did happen in the last 24 hours was we, on the Chaser Twitter account, had a little bit of, well, we had a little bit of a fun. Fun. Fun would be a good. Fun, yeah. An adventure would be another way, is it?

Electoral fraud. I mean, there's all different words that you. I would say a rollercoaster ride is what you have. A sort of catastrophe of terrible business management. Well, look, it was an experiment and you wanted to see how tightly Twitter was enforcing their policies on impersonating the President of the United States. Turns out fairly tightly as it happens. So Cam Smith is the editor of the Chaser websitechaser.com.

com. And was on the Twitter last night. Hello, Cam. Hello, Dom. What was your big idea? Right. So I don't know if you guys remember a couple of months back when, Twitter got this massive hack, all these celebrities started tweeting out all these

spam links. Were you hacked Charles or was that just your normal posting? No, that was just me. Yeah, that's right. Barack Obama is suddenly offering a Bitcoin deal, right? Yeah, exactly. And massive celebrity Charles is doing these really drunk. Oh no, that's just not.

And everyone at first thought Trump must have been hacked, but then it just turned out to be his normal posting, of course. But the New York Times did this big write-up about like what would happen if Trump got hacked. they were sort of saying because that's all he does all his presidential duties through Twitter that's all technically executive orders and so they were saying what happens if he someone hacks his Twitter and says launch the nukes so they were saying oh this will be this terrible thing and I was just in there going that that's genius that we're definitely going to have to do that so so did you hack Donald J. Trump's Twitter that actually proved to be

quite difficult although he really password did get leaked recently, apparently. Yes, and it was mega 2020 exclamation mark. So we weren't that far off getting it. So what did you do then? If you couldn't hack his actual Twitter account, what did you do? So basically, we realized that we have a blue check on our account. And the way Twitter's set up is that if you have a profile picture and a name and a blue

check, there's really no way of verifying who is actually doing the posting. So if we look like Donald Trump and send out a tweet, hopefully we can launch the nuke. So you've changed the picture to Donald Trump, you've changed the name to Donald Trump, and you've set out a tweet. We've sent out a tweet, which I think said something along the lines of

don't vote for me. I'm a massive idiot. Yeah, so vote for me, I'm a massive idiot. So I saw this in my feed, and I thought it was the real Trump. I thought, at last, this is a presidential treat I can get behind. Again, that would still be people going,

brilliant treat, brilliant. He's realigned his audience. He's realized his audience are massive idiots. He's going, how do I relate to? to them no matter what he does it's played out as a piece of genius we've got a lot of very angry trump supporters now who think we're the legitimate account it's very scary so it's going very well it's being retweeted around the world it's going absolutely nuts what's the next part of his process gap well the next part of the process is i actually tried to phone up charles because

this is about 11 o'clock at night yeah and i've suddenly realized oh shit this is this may be a massive piece of legal quagmire I've just got us into. Charles doesn't answer the phone initially. So I think I sent you a text or something going, what was it? No, you just said you may want to, you know, check the last tweet. And I just said, no, it's fine. It looks good. That's a great idea.

We ran it through the important process, Cam, to see whether or not it was a good tweet. And on our chaser kind of old editors, thing, Dom thought it was a bad idea, and we thought it was a good idea. We're like, oh, it's perfect. That's actually how the news paper used to work. But in my defence, I just said, I just said I don't like the new brand.

Like, I was trying to make a joke about it. She evidently didn't work. Yeah, because we discussed it. And as soon as Dom came down against it, it was just like, this is great. But the point was that Charles there said, oh, what's the worst that's going to happen? Well, loose a blue tick.

And I was like, yeah. That's pretty much. You're right, that he's right. Which turned out to be wrong. It wasn't quite the worst thing that could happen. What happened shortly after that, Camp? Shortly after that, I was happily browsing through the mentions when all of a sudden I couldn't access the account anymore for some reason.

And it went really crazy. Did you all sort of, like it was sort of animated as if you could, because I was looking through the Twitter at the same time. And suddenly all the numbers started not. Yeah, it just got really. screwy. Like, it's just halfway through that it just sort of broke. So, how many followers did the Chaser account have prior to your tweet? Approximately 120,000?

Just let me ask a question here, Cam, as the person in charge of the web strategy of the chaser. How many followers did it have when it gets closed down by Twitter for abusing Twitter's protocols? Somewhere in the order of about one. give or take 10. You know, the number that I saw was zero. Zero, zero. Zero. No, no, but when I logged on this morning, it was up to 13.

Oh, we didn't get it back. Up to 13. We could build it down. And you'd already sent out a few tweets at that stage. And it was like, this is going to be a hard slog. Cam's just like, actually, man, I'm not getting any retweets today. So I went into it and it said,

your account's been suspended for impersonating the President of the United States, you have to change your name if you want to, if you want us to reinstate. And I thought, Cam wouldn't want me to do that. I was going to leave it.

Exactly. Well, so the good news is, it seemed last time I looked, all the followers were back? No, it's 100,000. So it's now 126,000. You've got an extra 10,000 out of it. Are you got extra followers out of it?

Yeah. I mean, they are all expecting Trump content, but. Yeah. Just occasionally say something. insane. Just tweet. Supreme Court Charles will sort that out.

No, it's just right wing memes. That's what we're going to do. It's going to be much more successful. Proud boys, standby and stand up. What I did love about it as well is like I responded to it like huge of true. It's funny. People who are like, we're telling me this is a satirical account.

You might have heard of the chase. I was like, I never heard of them. It really shows the power of the brand. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's great. Well done, Cam. It was a good approach.

So what's your next idea? I think my resignation letter after that. Yeah. Can I just ask something? Do you reckon, though, Cam, if you thought about this, that maybe you swung the election? Trump admitting he was an idiot is what really won in those seats. Yes.

That gave him North Carolina. Definitely had him in Florida. They're idiots there. Florida. Florida just went at last. Come to Papa. I mean, Texas, obviously. I think we rolled it.

I think we blame it. This is our victory. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chase of Report. The Chaser Report. When you want election coverage that you can trust, don't turn to the Chaser Report. So as we're recording this,

it's not clear who the next president is. I mean, Charles thinks it's Trump. All the experts say it's not entirely clear. But there is one clear result that we can all agree for election 2020. And that is that Kanye West failed in his campaign. Dear President, he tweeted, I mean, you've got to admire the man. Whatever. He tweeted at some point today, but it became clear that he wasn't going to win the White House.

He tweeted from the Kanye West Twitter account, Welp, Kanye, Kanye, 2024. So he's still running. He's still running. So when you say it became clear to him he wasn't going to win, he was only on the ballot in like a few states. Yeah, 12 states of 50. 12 states that added up to like what, 80 or so. Yeah, 84, I think out of 200 out of 500.

I reckon you could have said that tweet a bit earlier. But that said, to be fair, to be fair again, Kanye and Donald, like in Kanye's mind, I'm surprised he gave up this early. Yes, because the Supreme Court. could well come down in favour of Canyahu. This is a real strategic error by Trump to say let's take it to the Supreme Court. Exactly.

I mean, Clarence Thomas, huge Canyard. I mean, take it to the Grammy judges. I don't know. But it was such a good campaign. That's what gets me. I mean, I think not enough Americans found out about the Canyo campaign. Which is always the goods to the side of the campaign, though. His main policy was to run a Wakanda-style.

I didn't realize he was still running. Yeah, no, 2024, he's still going. And his big foreign policy platform, he said, I don't know much about foreign policy, but I want China in the NBA. That was his big plan. I think those are two things. Wakanda and China in the NBA.

Those are both very good ideas. What's Wakanda? So Wakanda is the fictional African country with all the high tech in Black Panther. Doesn't actually exist, but Kanye was, you know, not to be dissuaded by that, wanted a Wakanda-style White House. And was Wakanda going to be in the NBA?

because this is he really should have clarified. Was the US going to invade Wakanda and take all its oil? Or if it's by bradium. I'm not sure. I don't think Kanye was sure either, frankly. Earlier on, did you mention there were other candidates? It was others other than Trump, Biden and. On the ballots, there's always a few randoms.

I saw a ballot paper with like 12 different groups or whatever. So Kanye beat people. Clive Palmer was on the ballot. Yeah, I didn't realize it was that many people. It makes the choice of Trump seem even more insane. I mean, I understand why they chose him over Biden, maybe. But a strange dude in Wisconsin who just ran, you know, maybe in 2024. I thought the big shame was, given now, I know Trump has called the election,

but in actual fact it seems like this is going to be going to Friday weeks to go, given there was just so much padding, like the padding. The padding killed me. I just couldn't. Oh, yeah. It was terrible. I mean, I was watching CNN and all that it was for about six hours was the man zooming in on different counties where there weren't many votes counted.

Like, oh, not many there next door in this in Montgomery County. Oh, there's not many there either. Exactly. I thought the real shame and missed opportunity was remember that like a week or two ago when they were doing a practice for the election coverage. They sacked that guy, the expert, Jeffrey Tubin, the guy who was caught masturbating on his zoom window. Yes. Don't you reckon they should, I bet they were. regretted that he would have been great that was premature in so many ways exactly to go look

we've been wanking on for ours we get across to geoffrey so for some real expert wanking i mean it would have been great if it just soon further it on the map further it on the map there was jeffrey having a red shock yeah look i mean from the stuff i saw today some 60-year-old guy wanking wouldn't have it would have fitted in with the coverage it would been great. Can we end this episode somehow? I mean, I know this has lacked structure, but it must be a way to get to the end of this episode. I think we should just leave our audience. Hang on a second, but it's just here old men won't have to be covered. That is it for this election special episode of The Chaser

Report. Wait, what's this thing that Charles always has now? Oh yes, we've got late breaking news from Rebecca Day and Emuno. Isn't that amazing? Oh really? Absolutely nobody has been declared a winner today after the American election took a shambolic turn which saw sitting President Donald Trump declare victory and demand vote to stop being counted despite the outcome not even being clear yet. Citing all the states which he hasn't won,

President Trump accused everyone who didn't vote for him of fraud to groans from satirists everywhere who realised they're never going to be able to outdo this. In other news, disability support payments across America are set to skyrocket this week after it was revealed that 50 million Americans are apparently blind

to everything happening around them. Thanks, Beck, I forget you can get the Chaser podcast through your app of choice. You can go to chaser.com.com. You can find us on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, just about everywhere. And of course, a big thanks to our newly freed producer

Mike Liberale who's been wandering out in Melbourne and actually moved house in the past week because his life wasn't painful enough with seven months of lockdown. But a lot of people say the Melbourne Cup is inhumane. They do. And you shouldn't watch it. Because it is inhumane.

Yes. And you shouldn't watch. I mean, that's not humans. No, but also all the horses die in me like that. So we, at the chaser, we run our own cup. It's called the Royal Chaser Cup. And we do it at the same time as the Melbourne Cup. And it was a very exciting race this year.

Welcome to the Royal Chaser. for a day for people with horseheads on their heads to be racing. And they're just lining up. A question on everyone's minds will be who will fall over and break their legs and be murdered on this beautiful sunny afternoon. And they're off. Scomo's Cho takes the early lead right on

with Postal Service very slow right from the start. So no surprises there. It's Scomos Choate all the way though. Oh no, wait a minute. What's this? Federal ICAC has fallen over. They're bringing out the curse. Oh, it's all over for Federal ICAC.

Back in the race, it's SCOMO's CHOD the whole way. Albo's limb coming in a distant second, and the crowd is going crazy for SCOMOS Chode. Schomose Chode, Scomose Chode, Scomose Chode, I really wish they'd named it something else. Skomos Chode crosses the line and is the 2020 winner of the Royal Chaser. Let's go back to the studio. The Chaser Report, news you know you can't trust. When experts won election coverage they can trust,

they don't turn to the Chater Report. By the way, Mike, can you just change, if the election result actually changes, can you just make it look like we've got it right? So wherever we said, Trump just changed to Biden all the other way around, okay? Thanks, mate. Hang on, Charles, can you just make a really stupidly confident

prediction that Joe Biden has won? I'll tell you what. Joe Biden has this in the bag. I predicted it months ago. Yeah. Thank you.