The Chaser Report - VOTE OPTICS FOR A LOGIE

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

VOTE FOR CHARLES, VIC, AND JENNA TO WIN A LOGIE!!! GO TO THIS LINK HERE AND PRETEND YOU'VE SEEN ALL THE OTHER SHOWS, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY VOTE FOR OPTICS AS BEST SCRIPTED COMEDY PROGRAM!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!---VOTE OPTICS FOR A LOGIE: https://vote.tvweeklogies.com.au/Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] our caviar addiction: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to a very special edition of The Chaser Report. Sorry, why? What's special about this edition? Well... Wasn't there just some admin, do we need to talk about? Well, I don't like to toot my own horn. Right, so there's already a falsehood in the episode.

About 30 seconds in. But the Logie nominations have come out. Yeah. A few of those back in the day. And, uh, oh, let's... They don't really mean very much, should they after all these years? Oh, I think you'd find that they're the most prestigious award ceremony in Australia. I barely remember what, I can't remember what shows they're for now.

Well, they're for good shows, is what they are. They're for... Sorry, for outstanding shows. For shows that are the best. We're still talking about the TV week Logie Awards. Are we? Is that the subject of the day? We certainly are, Dom. We certainly are, because it may surprise you to find out, it may not,

we wouldn't surprise you to find out that ABC television's greatest comedy ever, optics. Ever? Starring Jenna Owen, Vic Zerbst, and none other than myself. I'm very, very surprised you mentioned Vic and Jenna before you in the list. I suppose you were waiting for the third name. Yeah, is nominated for a Logie for Best Scripted Comedy. Oh, congratulations. That's, hang on a sec.

How many scripted comedies were made in Australia in 2025? Let's fact-check this one after the Nats. So they've got to find five nominees, Charles. Yes, I know. This is very funny detail. Are you about to... I haven't done the maths. Who are the other nominees?

Well, this is the funny thing. I think that there are only four scripted comedies that were produced in Australia that are eligible. Okay. So there's Colin from Accounts, which is clearly going to win, right? And then you have Fisk, which also could win. That's also very good show. That's equally clearly.

That's a very good show. You got picked up by Netflix, didn't it? So it's got sort of the backing of both the ABC and Netflix, right? But it's gentler, though, than optics, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. They're both gentler than optics. Yeah, yeah. And then what you want is,

Sorry, I'm looking on the Channel 9 website for some reason And it keeps on flashing up a full page ad whenever I'm so sorry Scroll Don't look on the Channel 9 website So best scripted comedy program Austin Austin, yeah ABC again, yeah Good cop bad cop which was Stan

I'm not at all aware of that And then the other one So they had to fill it out So there's six nominees each year So Austin, Colin from Accounts, Fisk Good Cop, Bad Cop and Optics Guess what the sixth nomination is? I'm going to go with Credlin on Sky News.

Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Wasn't this best scripted? Yes. Well, you know, stand-up comedians write their scripts before they show it. So it's the gala. I suppose, okay, all right, I suppose, yeah. So that's the, and I think that that's sort of scraping the barrel, isn't it? Like, I mean, I love the ABC and the ABC's great and good on them for,

but don't you think that that's broadcasting the comedy festival yeah that's a great thing to do but no that's a that's a little bit one of these things is not like the others yeah exactly so look I actually don't mind if like Colin from accounts or Fiske or even Austin or even good a cop bad cop wins but if we get pipped by milman five minutes of will Anderson five minutes of will Anderson then fuck this Charles I'm very happy for you and your team yes but you've buried the lead yes I know you've buried the lead because what? Silver Logie.

Silver Logie nominations for Vic and Jenna. Both of them in, what an extraordinary thing. And none for me. Up against, fuck them. I assume based on their stunning work in, wait a second. This isn't from optics. This is from Nugget is Dead, Colan, a Christmas story on Stan. Have they been playing around with other comedy team, Michelle, behind your back?

Well, this is the problem, isn't it? Because Stan obviously is better at the corruption than the ABC. which is how they got those nominations. Don't you reckon? They just greased the, they just lubricated the greasy wheel of corrupt Logies' behaviour. We can't trust the Logies. What will happen, Charles, if Vic or Jenna,

they're indivisible. They're Vic and Jenna. I kind of hope that one of them does win just for the awkwardness of the whole thing. Oh, my goodness. It'd be spectacular. So just to be really clear, Charles, we're hanging this whole episode on the fact that you got nominated for the Logies. Yes. Yes, because there's a call to action out of it.

In a category where they were scraping at the bottom of the barrel to the point where they put in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in Best Scripted Comedy Program. Yes. That's a whole episode in your mind, is it? No, no, no. No, the whole episode is the call to action, which is... All right. So these are democratically voted on categories. Yep.

Oh, it's best and not most outstanding. They've changed the rules. They've changed the rules. Is everything voted now? Yes. That means the Logie's going to be even more gibbious than they ever were. Yes. They're all rig-able.

It's all about whether you can harness listeners to vote in your favour, Dom. Oh, my goodness. Which listeners do you think I'm talking about? Surely you're not trying to get the ones from this podcast. Yes. Now, are you sure? To vote for optics. Are you sure, Charles?

Because there is best and most populous. You know what would be funnier? No, no, no. You definitely can, you can definitely vote for our category. Really? I've done it several times this morning. Okay. All right.

But no, is it funnier to get everyone to vote for optics or is it funnier to get everyone to vote for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival? So this is extraordinary. So you're saying that I can't work out with it. means that the Logies didn't have integrity before and now do, or that they didn't before and now still don't. Well, it's one of the two things. No, Charles, look, in all sincerity, as a Logie winner in the past, dual Logie winner,

how many of those do you win? I was up on stage for both of them. It's so hard to remember so long ago. Fuck you. You know, I'm... I would note that after I left, you didn't win any more Logies. That's actually true. Yeah, yeah.

Nor did you for Mr. Firth goes to Washington. That was when we were up against you, sitting on the same table. Although, Sean McAuliffe claims that I did end up winning that. What? Post facto. Because he won it, and then it turned out he wasn't eligible. Oh. In his autobiography, he claims that I ended up winning it.

I don't think I did. But I'm happy to... You better check. Yeah. Well, I kind of feel like, you know, we should add it to Wikipedia because if somebody writes something in a book... Wikipedia, where your name is still danger. Then it becomes true.

All right. How bizarre? Well, look, I mean, that's great. So how do people vote? How do we rig this? I mean, we're not going to rig it because... We're definitely going to rig it, come on. Okay.

No, no, we're going to exercise our democratic rights. No, sorry, I forgot how this way. Sorry, I briefly thought this was a competition with integrity. No, of course not. Everyone, the whole point is that everyone goes to TV week. The only reason anyone would ever go to TV week is to vote in a popularity contest of this kind. So, yeah, I mean, everyone else is going to be saying to their fans, they should go to TV week. I mean, even the ABC does these days.

Yeah, no, exactly. Yeah, yeah. The ABC's funneling people onto commercial website TV week, aren't they? Yes. So it's vote. Dot TVweeklogies.com. Or you can just Google.

But isn't there a non-trivial chance that I'll end up reading news stories about soap operas as though they're real. No, if you click the right link, you get straight through to the voting. Okay, very good. Should we go through it now and actually vote in all the categories?

Let's vote in all the categories. There's going to be one small problem. It's going to be very boring. It's going to be one. Oh, yeah, that's not. The only problem is, I haven't watched any of the shows. I don't know, but you still got to vote.

It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun. Okay, all right, all right. Let's do it. Okay. So, I mean, we'll skip. Let's just take some ads first so people can just get. When you realize this is very boring, you're welcome to leave.

The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. So we'll skip through very quickly on the first few. Best Children's Program, Bluey. Obviously, don't worry about the rest. I don't know who else is nominated. Best Sports coverage. Borda Gavisgar? Who cares?

I'm saying Australia versus India, Border Gavisca. We like cricket. Yeah, certainly not state of origin. Best factual documentary program, ego, the Michael Garninski story. Has it randomly, has it randomly defaulted? Quite like, no, no, I've just. You've already voted. Ceremony, 20 years on?

Unbreakable, the Yelan and Dockage story. Didn't we help break? Didn't we help make that worse? Yeah, we did. With the chase of headline, Australian media tells Dockich win or it's back to Serbia that they didn't realise was meant to be a parody. That's right.

That wouldn't megavile. No, Miriam. Miriam Margulet. No, no, you can't encourage her. She's got so many... Oh, yeah, okay. She takes up like 85 billion hours. It's like she's got her own quota.

Isn't the assembly sort of sweet? Okay. All right. You're so not engaged. So this is the best, this is the best category. Best news coverage or Public Affairs report. So you can vote for things like, vote for Cyclone Alfred. Which disaster?

Vote for the Melbourne protest. Vote for the... We've got to vote for the Trump assassination attempt. Why was Channel 7's coverage of it? Like, who remembers... Oh, oh gosh, Channel 7 did a bang-out job with that? Who remembers that? You can choose.

You can choose. Well, I want to vote for the Trump assassination attempt because voting for the Trump assassination attempt feels slightly illegal, isn't it? It's going to go on your record. You don't be right out of the United States. So, yeah, do vote for that. Best lifestyle program.

Well, you've got to do grand designs. Gardening Australia. Costa. Oh, we've got to do gardening Australia. Yeah, Costa. Okay, structured reality program. Oh, my God. These are the things I go out of my way not to watch.

Yeah, okay. So it's got to be Gogglebox. It's got to be Gogglebox. Just by default. All the others are hateful. Farmer wants a wife. Oh, mustard dogs is pretty fun. Oh, master dogs are sweet.

Yeah. Maybe we do master. Or should we do Gogglebox? I haven't ever watched neither of those shows. I never watch any TV. Best competition reality program. So many fucking categories. It's so boring.

Yeah. Let's just go Lego Masters. Yeah, yeah. Best comedy entertainment program Okay, Gruen, hard quiz Have you been paying attention? Sam Pang Tonight, thank God you're here And the weekly with Charlie Pickering

No one's watched Sam Pang tonight, have though? But it was very good Was it? Well, I saw clips online And the ads for it were exceptional Let's do Sam Oh no, except I feel like it's betraying Tom Tom Gleason

But Tom always wins So I think Sam All right Yeah, sure if you want to Okay Best scripted comedy program Oh look at this Austin, Colin from a

FISC, Good Cop, Bad Cop, Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Optics. I think we're going Optics, aren't we? Fisk was very good. Are you sure you've watched it Fisk enough time? Fuck off, Optics. It was just very good, I'm just saying. Fiske was just really, I mean, it's a very good show. Optics.

I'm not even engaging. Optics, all right. Oh, and then the rest. We don't need to. Should we keep going? I mean, best current affairs program, 60 minutes, 7.30, 7 News, Current Affair, Australian Story, Four Corners. How can you...

Is Australian Story a current affairs program? That's, well, four corners. It's sort of like hagiography. Right, keep going. Current Hagiography. Best Entertainment Program. ABC New Year's Eve, goodness me. That actually was good last year.

Well, I mean, but that means you're snubbing Vision Australia's carols by candlelight. Why do you hate Vision Australia, Charles? So how did they... Which New Year's Eve are they talking about? Are they talking about... Oh, 2025. I don't know which one would be. Would it be the one before?

Would it be 2020, 23, 24? Well, technically it was on December. Half of it would be in one category, half of the other category. Yep, I don't know. Surely countdown 50 years on. Well, that avoids. There's Tony Armstrong.

Don't we just, when we see Tony Armstrong, we just automatically vote for Tony Armstrong? Yeah, I think that's actually the law. Yeah, it's the law. Best miniseries or telemovie. Okay, this is good. Apple cider vinegar was good. I think that's the one that people will vote.

Critical incident was also good. Fake. I haven't seen fake. Plum wasn't bad. Brendan Cow. How to Make Gravy. I think that's been overdone that song. No, you pick Charles.

What have you seen? I reckon we, well, if you've seen plum, let's see, I wouldn't say it's seen plum. I've seen a little bit of plum. Oh, yeah. But Brendan Cowhouse.

I reckon critical. Never heard of it. All right, go ahead. Yeah. I'm just revealing how little television I watch. I'm part of the problem in this country. Best drama program. Well, bump was filmed on our street.

Yeah, let's put them. Filmed up the street. TV week, Silver Logie. Oh, this is going to get so awkward when you've got to choose between Vic and Jenna. Well, So we've got... Well, Julia's Ramirez, anyone who's been on our podcast. Should we do a friend of the podcast?

Although, that's giving something to Fisk. Yeah, she's very funny in Fisk. They're all very funny in Fisk. I think we've got to do, Julia. Yeah, no, it's very... She's great in Fisk. Best TV, TV, Silver Luggy, best supporting actor. Is that Aaron Chen?

Do we have Aaron? What? No, it's outrageous. Oh, don't do Colin from Accounts. They're going to win everything. I don't really know. Just pick any of them. Colin from account.

All right. Lead actress. in a comedy, Jenna Owen or Vic Zerfs. Oh, my goodness. Oh, no. There's only one way to resolve this. What?

Kenny Flanagan. No, but how can you choose? It's like asking you to choose your own favorite child. Harriet died, surely. I'll tell you what you should do. I'll close my eyes and you just vote for whichever one you think was better in optics. I'm closing my eyes. Yep, okay.

Not buying into that. Hey, Siri, print, somewhere. There's Aaron Chen. Oh, he's Aaron. His best lead actor, why does he get to be best lead? And I didn't get a nomination. Why didn't I get a nomination? For best lead?

Yeah. Is he even in Fisk more in the subsequent episodes that I haven't seen yet? Yeah, maybe. Best lead. Best lead, I mean, best three minutes of an episode. Oh, that's harsh on you, Charles. We've got to vote for Aaron. They were entire episodes of optics, which revolved around you.

Oh, they weren't the good ones. No, I'm sorry. All right. Are we doing Patrick Brammel or? I mean, you've got to do Aaron Chen. Yeah, yeah. He's the most likely to come on the podcast. Anna Tov, surely, for Best Lead Actress, Anna Torv.

Sure. For In Territory? Sure. Oh, in Territory. Okay, not News Reader, right, right. Best lead actor in a drama. Charles, you weren't wrong. This is really boring.

Sam Neal. So, no one's going to vote in the... Ray Martin Award for Most Popular News. Michael Asher. There you go. Sarah Ferguson. Oh, my God. This is a list of horrible people.

Oh, no, Sarah Ferguson. We've got to do Sarah Ferguson. Graeme Kennedy Award for most popular, new talent. Well, Charles Firth, certainly not on that list. Kate Miller-Hideke. Or maybe on television. Why didn't I get on there? Actually, I did look up that, and you've got to be under 40.

You seriously looked at yourself as new talent after you'd already won Logies. Okay. No, Guy Mont, it's going to be Guy Monk, isn't it? Guy Montgomery. We chaired several theatres with him this year, like in slots and things. And he's lovely Most popular presenter, Craig. Oh, is he there?

No. Todd Woodbridge or Hamish Blake for a Bert Newton Award for the most popular presenter. Zan, Zan, Roe. San Roe. Yeah, yeah, lovely. Okay. Most popular personality on Australian television. Oh, this is the gold.

This is the big one. Read them all out. This is the gold. Okay. Oh, my God. There's about a hundred million. Okay. Ali Langdon, a current affair.

Hamish Blake, is he always in that list? Yeah, it's actually a constitutional thing. Yeah, I think it's a rule now. Lady J. Oh, yeah. Lisa Miller. Lisa Miller. For Nears Breakfast.

And look at how many. And mustard dogs. Yeah, she's done it. She's on sheer numbers she should get it, shouldn't she? Lynn McGranger, Home and Away. I never heard of her. Poling, yeah. She was good.

And Master Chef. I mean, she was good talent. She's very talented. Sonia Kruger. I think on sheen numbers, you've got to go to Lisa Miller. Surely Lisa. Sorry, Hamish. It's just not your turn.

Yeah. Okay, I'm voting. No, no, no. Victoria Zerbsterner-Rowen. And the thing is, when you're filling out the TV week Logie's website, listener, you have to enter your email address. That's how they confirm that you're not cheating and voting multiple times. Isn't the interesting thing, though,

that, and I just want, and this is apropos nothing, did you know that you can just create as many email addresses as you like using Google or Yahoo. Yeah, but isn't there an Apple way of doing like all these aliases for your... Can't you get like multiple Apple IDs very easily, yeah? Yeah. Not that you should because that would be cheating. No, that would be immoral and lacking in it.

It might ask for a text message for confirmation. Yeah. So anyway, point is you should definitely vote. Me? No, and all the listeners. I reckon if we get all the listeners to vote. Just as long as it's not necessary to vote.

have watched any of the programs that you're voting for. Actually, yeah, that's a good point. Yes. It's a really good chance to recognise Fisk for all the great work that they've done. Back off. Melbourne in national economy. No, look, Charles, in all sincerity,

it was an amazing triumph of will to use a really leany, Ruffin-style term for you to get optics over the line. It was a massive amount of effort, so yeah, well done. I thought you were doing about, like, it was an massive effort to turn up. a whole podcast episode into an ad for voting. Oh, no, that was easy.

But filling out the Logies form, that was the most part of being in a very long time. There you go. I hope it helps. We're part of the Akonocles Network. Vote early, vote often. For Fisk.