The Chaser Report - WAR STORIES: Andrew's Mr 10 Questions

Episode Date: January 16, 2022

This Summer The Chaser Report presents... WAR STORIES! Andrew returns to the microphone for another of our Summer Stunt Series, this time to share behind the scenes stories on his most socially awkward characters. This episode see's the return of Mr 10 Questions and Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter. Plus Andrew shares how he prepared for stunts in the early days. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Welcome to another summer stunt series episode of The Chaser Report, where we sit down with some of the team and talk about the old days and the stunts of the adventures that we had. Charles Firth is here. I'm Dom Knight. And Andrew, Andrew, in a previous episode, just to give a bit of a cliffhanger, you mentioned that you actually drank a bit, performing some of these characters of yours. Well, yeah, doing those pranks on the Chaser TV shows. I hated doing them because I really don't like upsetting people or, you know, and I get, I was also very nervous about the fact that it was an uncontrolled environment because it

wasn't a shoot like a normal film shoot. You've got a lot of control over the lighting and the camera angles, where you stand and all this sort of stuff. Whereas when you shoot a prank, yeah, all you've got really is a script and some ideas and maybe a funny prop or an amusing costume. And also the near certainty that somebody's going to get really angry at you at some point. Plus that, yes. I didn't like that. Yeah, and I didn't like the idea that, you know, I might be facing in the wrong direction or that they wouldn't get the shot. And you would

have wasted this whole opportunity, you know. It was very nerve-wracking. Don't do it. We had to shoot a huge amount in any given week, even just to make sure that there was enough show to go around. So we'll get into that in a moment here on the Chaser Report. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens. Yeah, the pressure to not fuck up a shot was extreme, wasn't it? It's terrible. We had to make so many, what, 20 episodes we made in the first year, in the first two years.

Too many episodes. It was insane. It was the sort of show that should have had six episodes, and it had 26 in the first year. Because they, was it 26? They put it in the fat slot. And the fat was a panel show of people talking about sport, and when you made this massively higher production value series.

Yeah, it was sketches and songs. and pranks and everything. It was bonkers. We worked far too hard, which is why we all refused to do this American version of it. You mentioned that before in the series. It was saying with Chas that it was actually the level of kind of police going crazy and guns everywhere would have probably made it quite a dicey thing to do.

Oh, yeah, it would have been very risky in the US. Yeah, terrible. And we were already exhausted from doing it in Australia. And the US deal was something like, you have to do it for a six. six years and we all just thought people's faces just went pale and the agents went oh you can just walk away after a two or a three it's fine and we're just kind of went no but it says six we're not gonna sign it they can make us yeah yeah that would have been horrible oh dear but but also you would have had to dealt with your alcoholism problem well i would yeah i would have had to deal with

my booze my boo yeah because because i got so nervous about going to shoot these pranks at the start of this that I would I would down drinks before I went out to shoot thinking what did you drink what was it well beer just whatever because it was cheap and nearby so I'd go and have these beers at like you know 9 a.m and was this on the advice of Fitsy at all was he around because Fitsy always said to me oh you should just have a little shot of whiskey for you this is the studio director you mean our studio director marcus yeah yeah oh he's he was probably joking I don't think he would have been serious, would he? Oh, no, I think he was deadly.

I never followed that advice, but he, yeah, no, he was a big believer in the, in the cheeky whiskey at 9am. Really? A settler. A settler. Just for when it was, yeah, when it was stunts, because, you know, like, you actually do perform better if you relax. You either need to have some alcohol or have an ego so large that you have a sort of Craig Roo-Castle style. assurance that everything was terrifying, wasn't it? But it's definitely

true that the fear of not getting it was so... Yeah, the fear of not getting it, that's why I had to drown that fear with the year. The rare times when I was allowed to do it, I just remember being absolutely terrified of fucking up. Oh yes, yes, awful. But Andrew, you're not even a big drinker, like a... No, I'm not a big drinker,

so I'd be roaring, you know. No, that's right, because the first few that I did, I was roaring drunk. I mean, you know, just appalling, it's amazing I could get the script out. And I realized pretty quickly after maybe two weeks of doing this, that I was headed in a very bad direction because we were shooting at least five days a week, if not more.

And we also had to write and produce and everything else. So I couldn't keep it up. I had to train myself to just deal with the terror. Well, let's hear one of your more challenging characters because Mr. Ten questions tended to go to fairly high-profile events. You weren't just hassling McDonald's workers and random passes by. you're actually dealing with celebrities generally. People who want to ask questions off.

Yeah, I had this idea for this reporter who would just go and ask a rapid series of 10 questions. Because a lot of people do that, don't they, in, you know, in audiences. Q&A sessions. There's always somebody who says, I actually have two questions. And, you know, it's like, no, don't you cheat. Don't ask two. And I thought it would be funny if there was a man who always asked 10. and just really far.

And then you'd get the additional sort of bafflement from whoever you'd just ask 10 questions in a row to without a pause, then trying to recall what the 10 questions were. Again, just sort of going outside social politeness and there's no way you can answer it without it being funny, even if people answer all 10 questions, which actually happened, I think, on at least one occasion.

Well, it happened only once ever, only once ever. But everyone else failed, and these quite high, profile people, you know, couldn't do it. Hugh Jackman, I asked him ten questions. He couldn't do it. Charlize Theron just walked away, halfway through them.

Peter Carey, he failed. He's a brilliant author. He couldn't answer the ten questions. Could have kept all the narrative strands in his head, surely. You would have thought so. You would have thought so. The one, the only one, people used to take it in fairly good humor that one, except for once when Sophia Loren,

the Italian movie star I was giving this press conference and I went there and asked her 10 questions and she seemed fine about it but man the room of Italians they were furious because what I didn't realize is that to

Italians Sophia Loren is more holy than the Pope you can't you cannot sort of make fun of her not what it really was it was more just a silly idea yeah It was supposed to just be a silly idea, but I always remember walking out after doing that.

One old Italian lady hissed at me like this, and another old Italian lady, because they were all old, another old Italian lady looked at me and said, you are disgusting, like in a really anchored tone. Probably because Sid just asked one question earlier, and we should thought of asking more. She was jealous. The US 10 No wonder I had to drink To get through these experiences Man

Is that the clip you've got Andrew? Is that Sophia Loren? No, actually, the one I have Is the one and only time Where the celebrity Actually managed to answer All 10 of the questions

And he's the actor Anthony La Pahlia Who recently won an actor award actually And yeah I was quite astounded That he managed to recall All 10 of the questions and answer them. Does anybody have any questions?

I do, Anthony, if I could just ask you ten questions. First, you're having a nice day. Only ten? Second, have you ever met that other Anthony La Pali with the Australian accent? The third, why is it called without a trace when all you do is find traces and follow them? Four, speaking of which, have you tracked down Harold Holt yet? Fifth, did you or anyone who worked on Lantana

actually understand the plot? And six, neither fuck was Glenn Robbins in that movie. Seventh, you're a bit Italian. Is it Calzone or Calzone? Eight, uniform daylight saving hours, will they bring down our society? Ninth, do you feel the HP IPACRW68-28-28 multimedia messenger could sway the smartphone market? And 10th, given your surname, do you think Australia should have a silent G in it as well? The answer to the last question, yes.

I think it should have two silent Gs, the first one at the beginning. The ninth question, there is a strong possibility that actually could overtake that market. It depends on where you're from, but Kelzone will do. So you found Harold Holt. Harold Holt, we're looking. The plot of Lantana, you're going to have to call Ray Lawrence, so he'll give you the answers to all of that. He directed the film.

Glenn Robbins was fantastic in Lantana. They like saving hours? I think there's something more to do with bringing down the productivity of cows in terms of producing milk. Having a nice thing? Fantastic. And the other Anthony La Pahlia with the Australian accent. Oh, he left in 1982.

Is that right? Without a trace? Yes. Well, he needed some prompts, didn't he? he didn't quite remember at all. Nevertheless. At least he got close. The Chaser Report. News you can't trust.

It's nice that on one occasion, and only one occasion, Mr. Ten Questions actually got the ten questions that's answered. Yeah, it was the only time. I know, we kind of needed one where it finally happened. And, yeah, so even though, I was impressed, though, when he said, in answer to your ninth question.

I mean, that is impressive. Prompts aside I mean what is with this guy's mind Man It really dates it beautifully The HP Messenger's smartphone With the model number I know

Yes our phones used to be called things like that Instead of you know iPhone It reminds me of that wonderful sketch That interview largely started in the radio show Where you had Charles had a specific model of Was it dishwasher

Oh yes It's one of my favourite sketches is the Charles route. If you go to a streaming service and check out the Radio Chaser album, you can... We should play it now. We're allowed to play it. Oh, well, there is.

This is buying a dishwasher, Charles's sketch. Hi, I'd like to buy a dishwasher, please. Certainly, sir. Were you after an SMU 46GS01A, or were you more thinking of an SMU 66MS02A, or perhaps even an SMP6MX01A? Well, what's the difference? What do you mean?

What's the difference between those dishwashers? You're kidding, right? No. Well, the SMU66MS02A has an aquasensor super silence eco-drive, while the SMP-66MX-0-1A has an aquasilance eco-sensor super-sensor super-sensor super-dry. It's really quite simple. So which one's better? Well, depends what you're after?

I mean, are you more of the aquasilence eco-sensor super-sensor type kind of person or an aquacensor-sensor-senser type person? That's personal preference. So, which one cleans better? Well, the SMU-66MS-0-2A has ion energy cleaning pressure riser, while the SMP-66MX-0-1A uses inductive thermoclinze. Yeah, but which machine results in cleaner dishes? Depends.

On what? On which one you're using. Look, I'll just buy this one. The SMU 66MS 02A? All right. Hey, Gary, got a customer here who wants the SMU 66MS02A. Oh, you're kidding. I'm serious.

He's right here. I'm sorry, is there something wrong with it? Oh, no, no, no, not at all, and that's fine. Yeah, that'll be... $1,200, please. Are you sure it's all right? It's fine. Darling, did you get a dishwasher?

Yeah, I went with this one. You bought an SMU-66M-S-0-2-A? How could you? What? I'm sorry. I put up with it when you bought a V-D-E-45W, vented tumble-dryer. And I didn't say anything when you came home

with that HBG-672B-S-1A oven, but an SMU-66M-S-0-2A. Goodbye, Charles. But I still don't understand the difference. You never did, Charles. You never did. Here you go, the SMU 66MS 02A. I told him it was fine.

There you go. So specific model numbers always funny. The funny thing about that sketch is that I cast you in that sketch, Andrew, because I knew I had no ability to speak that fast with those model numbers. like I would just fluff it every time whereas I think you did like one take on that sketch and you got it perfect I relish complicated model numbers

I spent my childhood practicing them I just renovated my kitchen and we were laughing so hard we played that sketch after trying to buy a stove top because we bought the 604 UMB1 3 or something like that and it was true like the sales people said

but that doesn't even work you know and it's like you should have got the 604 UMB 1 3 you know it works for what I love about that is it does it works for almost any appliance because they all have that this time this way like if it's a washing machine or whatever it is what about Clive Andrew

Clive the slightly too loud commuter because that was just another one of being breaking the social contract of how we behave in public places on a train yeah yeah a guy who speaks too loudly on his mobile on a train. Well, there was a brilliant idea that Chris, again, Chris Taylor had most of the brilliant ideas, I feel, on the Chaser's War. And, yeah, he had this, he just noticed that, you know, people talk on phones on public transport. So he didn't have a mobile, too, which is probably key to the observation. For a very long time, one of the last people to get one. Yeah, Chris was probably wondering, what is that peculiar device that he's talking into? Hmm. Yeah, and unfortunately, I got cast to play this guy.

I suffered greatly doing that because we had to shoot that on crowded trains and I was usually talking about very personal sexual problems he had one conversation where he'd caught herpes of the elbow and he was wondering if it was because he accidentally while making love to his wife

accidentally elbowed her in the vagina and having to say these things on crowded trains is very upsetting to me and having to say it not just once Because, I mean, the audience think, oh, that's awkward. Oh, gee, that must have been awkward to say that. But, of course, you know, they forget that for every one you see, I had to try that about 15 times for Clive,

because they were really hard to shoot, you know, to get the reactions of the passengers. Yeah, did they ever do nothing? Well, yeah, a lot of people out of politeness, because people are politeness. And when a crazy man is talking on the train, you usually just sit there frozen solid, don't you? And this was before the days when the kind of racist rant

videos started to go viral. It kind of was, wasn't it? It actually was. You sort of kicked off the racist Granted. I'd like to think that's my legacy. Yes, that I inspired a whole generation of racists to do it themselves.

Did you ever get stabbed? Because I reckon... Yeah, I think you would have known about that. It was always a non-tribal risk of something like that. But the thing people never realize, because it looks like you're just doing this thing alone in a train, it's terribly brave. But there's actually two or three

people with you filming it and, you know, signing things and whatever. All people who can also be stabbed, Dom. This is true. Some of these things, I mean, Chaz was saying things got very physically hairy. He had a knife held to his neck. So somehow it seems very Chaz without to have happened to him. Of course that would happen to him. That didn't happen to anybody else.

And I blame him for that. And remember, the guy did actually say, I know who you are and I'm going to kill you, Chaz. Yeah, and it was one of his family. Yeah. If it had been Andrew, it would have been like, oh, hello, pleased to meet you. Let me just put down my knife. I've got ten questions for you, because people did it to you, didn't they?

Andrew, for years. Oh, they did, yes, I was always getting asked ten questions by people back then. And did you pretend that it was funny every single time? I do to flip it. It actually was. They were actually often better than my own. They were brilliant. Some of the fans who would come and ask me ten questions, they were super.

verbally written and performed. And I used to think, gosh, you should just be on the show. Did anything ever go horribly wrong doing these sorts of characters? There was a failure in thing was awkward. But I remember you were fairly unscathed other than your message. To me, to me, yeah, yeah. No, no, but look, no, I don't think anything did go horribly wrong. This is one of the great illusions of the show,

as people thought it was very edgy and dangerous, but it was actually really quite safe. Thank you very much, Andrew. Well, thank you, Tommy and Charles. This is lovely. Aggies from Road Microphones, we're part of the ACAST Creator Network. We'll have another episode for you tomorrow. Looking back on the old days when we could do stunts

without getting videoed or sued and or stabbed.