The Chaser Report - WAR STORIES: Craig vs Mark Latham

Episode Date: January 9, 2022

This Summer The Chaser Report presents... WAR STORIES! Craig returns for our Summer Stunt Series! This time Craig comes to look at all the times his stunts involved getting up close and personal with politicians, and even the times when the targets of the stunts were the ones who got the last word. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. It's time for another summer stunt edition of The Chaser Report as we chat to members of the team about some of the adventures over the years in television land. Craig is back today. Good to be back. And we're talking about things going unexpectedly right. That's in a moment. The Chaser Report, news you know you can't trust. So did things ever go unexpectedly right other than,

And I guess we talked about the Wentworth Hotel and the way that you somehow emerged on the floor of the whole thing. I guess it's about, because so often we would prepare these things based on things going wrong. So the apex stunts a classic example of that. Like, you know, the whole premise of it was that we're obviously not going to get through security. Yes. So Chaz is dressed as Osama bin Laden as a kind of comedic punchline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we get something out of it.

He gets out and goes, what do you mean? How come I can't get in? I'm a world leader. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But, you know, it went surprisingly well and got through, and, you know, that can sometimes happen. But it's funny how, you know, you'd prepare all these different steps to things and, you know, comedic things. But you often didn't really think about the second one because you think the first one's going to not work. So there's an example of that where John Howard, the Prime Minister at the time, it was the campaign trail,

and he'd been walking around, he'd gone for his morning walk in Melbourne, and he'd walked past the kind of rowing shed where young people were fixing their rowing things. Like growing skulls or throwing boats or whatever. Sculls, fixing their skulls. Ors? What are you? No, well, they were just fixing, yeah.

Boats. Right. And they'd gone, oh, John Howard or whatever. And they'd gone and they're giving him a big hug right. And in the vision, it was, there was no malice involved. But the guy's hugging the prime minister has got a screwdriver in his hand. And it was pointed out at the time by people that, And maybe the security, you know, that's not the greatest thing for security if your prime minister can be.

He's got federal police guards with him at all around. They didn't miss the obvious stabbing weapon. Yeah, exactly. And to be fair to the federal police, they were pretty alert to, you know, the kind of malice involved. But that's to us kind of doing a thing going, you know, what weapons can you hug the Prime Minister with? So we discovered he was going to be in the Gold Coast. And it was great because he was pretty attuned to. us at that point.

Like he was, you know, he was pretty used to us turning up outside Curibili house on his walk. Yes. But he wasn't necessarily used to seeing us

elsewhere. So first of, I went out with a gigantic axe. When I was like gigantic, like I was being bigger than me, like about a seven foot large. It's like a kind of medieval

staff thing. Yeah, exactly. And so he's on his walk and going, oh, and so I walked up with this going, oh, I promise.

Oh, can I give a hug? Can I give a hug? And he's like, oh, no. And then he actually did. He gave me a hug, right? So,

You know, we've got the... So he passed that test. He passed that test. Because it's always good when you have a structure like that, isn't it? Still, the screwdriver incident did expose holes in the PM security crime. Yeah, absolutely. And if they call about screwdrivers, where do they draw the line? I mean, what other implements is it okay to carry when hugging the Prime Minister?

I'll give you a hand shake. A handshake? Oh, that's okay. Good to see you, mate. Right. Thanks, good on you. Yeah, well, this is it. So he's passed that.

But then our follow-up one was a chainsaw. And again, not expecting the first one to have really worked. I hadn't really thought through the chainsaw much. We had done one thing, which in hindsight was very lucky. And we'd taken the chain off the chainsaw. But the whole point was we're then running towards the Prime Minister of the change. And if you're a federal police, you've got a quick decision about whether.

The Prime Minister is in danger. It's a great thing. And was it on? Like, was it... This is the point. Brad Howard, the director and I at the time, are just basically running towards the Prime Minister's having this long argument about whether or not we turn it on, going, it'll be much better, it'll sound much better.

And then you're going, but we can put it on in post. We don't have to have it on. It's going to be annoying. Why? We shouldn't put it on in. You won't be able to hear. Yeah, it's really annoying anyway. So we just get near and we go, ah, it's probably better.

So I just go, rum. As soon as the chainsaw went on I've never seen more federal police converged immediately and they were miles I didn't get near him for the second time It's like oh okay Go for Mincy's record hey

Johnny He'll hug anyone He's a tart isn't he He gives good hug I wanted another one after that Well his security miners know he loves a hug And by the looks of that I'm sure they'd let anything passed Not quite anything

So I'm just a hugged for a hand in a way, so the sound of a chain saw it in any way. But how did they, because they must have known who you were by then. They did, but I think they thought. the chains saw, maybe a step too far in the comedy. And this is it initially, this is initially they'd, initially they, but who made them the comedy police? But it's quite funny because they had figured us out, it got to the point where it was almost like a ritual.

And you'd go there in the morning and try and you want to shoot something. I don't know. I don't remember why, but I think you were a rabbit. I was a rabbit at one point and a sheep at another point. I don't remember, anyway, various different dress-ups. This is the example of those things where you look back and go, what was the terrestrial premise? It might have been a rabbit.

Anyway, the various, it was so many times in one election campaign that we were there. And, yeah, and the federal police always had a recie person, probably specifically looking for us. So it was always the same guy. And he always said, look, okay, I know you've got to get your piece. And that was kind of good to hear. Like, you can have your piece. Just don't make any sudden moves and nothing, no projectiles. And that's pretty broad rule.

That's a pretty broad rule. Well, they were very good about it. And actually, to be fair, in hindsight, you realize this was full credit to John Hound for this, because he hated us. He did not engage with us. He just hated to engage with it. He didn't like it. It was only when he wanted to smash us in some way. Yeah, but he had a kind of old-fashioned perspective of, well, I'm a politician,

this is my job. Part of it is that dickades are going to come up to me. So he would still do, you know, when the federal police would say, ah, the chaser guys are out there. And one time I had a bus. One time I had a DeLorean car. Deloian car. Like, it was very hard to hide.

Let's just hear of the clip of that because that's really good. That was actually exactly like the tragedy of John Howe's life was that you wanted him to go back in time to be able to retire gracefully and he didn't do it. Let's hear a quick clip from that. He must be kicking himself that last year he didn't retire while he was still on top. I know. I mean, I'm sure if he could go back in time, he'd do things very differently.

I mean, I reckon he'd almost certainly choose to retire if he could rewind the clock. Yeah, all he needs is a time machine. He just needs, you know, like that crazy dock guy from back to the future. Then he'd be fine. Wait to go, Prime Minister. I brought the DeLorean. I've seen the future. We can go back in time.

We can go back a year ago to a time when you could retire on top. Get in the DeLauri, we can go back. You can choose the end. All we need is nuclear power, and it can go back in time. You've got nuclear power again in Prime Minister. Seriously, this is the only opportunity. Or we can go back in time, get rid of work choices, and then you can win anyway.

Come on, bro. Prime Minister, only the flash capacity can save us, our Prime Minister. It'll change the history books. You love the history. Kids in Year 9 and 10 learning about the Prime Minister that stood down at the right time. It's the only chance, Prime Minister. We'll go back to the future. We'll get the legacy.

We'll fix it. The Chaser Report. Now with Extra Whispers. And this is the thing he knew you, because you just kept coming up to him all the time. It's so great to listen to the clips because it reminds you. you how lame it was. Visually, if you imagine a real... We found a real DeLorean.

There was a nerd who had his own DeLorean. Yeah, he was very good. But the full credit to how that he would let us go ahead with it and he would do the same walk. He wouldn't change his walk because we were there. But he was used to us being there. And it was interesting because there was one time, I remember we got him, we started him somewhere else

and he didn't realize it was us. And he got really, he got the shits with himself. So it's very obscure. This is going to, people who are, what's this good idea? This is how it was. Do you remember that at the time he got a lot of money from the guy that ran Manildra? Like the Liberal Party, the big donor was the guy that ran Manildra, which was a ethanol company, right? And that's why, to this day, we have E10 petrol.

That's why we have ethanol and our petrol was, well, that's, Charles, that's one possible thing that affected the policy that may have there. Yeah, he just donated money to make sure he didn't miss the very positive environmental benefit. It's a V10 petrol. As everyone knows, John Howard was a fervent environment. There's no way he was doing it anyway to support a liberal donor. But we had this thing where we were going to give him an ethanolipop. Oh, that's right. That one really was the whole idea.

One of the most remembered Jesus' guest, it wasn't. Ethanollipop. It's really good to really, the shit is Chase's speech. But, you know, the whole idea was that they just wanted to put ethanol in everything. But I remember giving this to him, he was walking into some fundraiser. and he wasn't used to it in that and he took it off me and then you saw him register

a few beats later that it was me and that it was the chaser stunt and he got the shits and he threw it on the bench was one of the few times I saw a kind of emotional reaction from him about it. It was actually one of the very few normally he was just like

play it straight, don't react at all but he got the shits that it was us and he realized that oh damn I shouldn't have taken that I didn't realize of them wow he was such a pro about it wasn't he really just played it with it absolutely dead bat like you just got nothing and it's true and you you were there dom the one time

he did did talk to us was when he thought it would be politically advantageous to him which is after the eulogy song we've gone to air which is kind of the whole idea of the song is only you know pricks turn into good guys after death but right at the end of that song there'd been a gag and the gag and the gag was essentially you wouldn't do this gag which is going belinda ram and then that's the song stopped everyone stopped andrew's like the line you can't cross we wouldn't actually do that Anyway, so he, there'd been a bit of a public outcry against us. So we were a bit of a pariah at the time. So he thought this is great because I get to, you know,

and then he basically did. He was, we were doing some stunt with him, and he turned it around and went, oh, you know, you guys are a lot funny when you're not picking on dead people or whatever it was. And you're like, yeah, he did pretty well. He burned us. He burned us.

You know, we know, we know you need a four rabbit out of your hat. Here's a few. Yeah, Mr. Primerster. He's like a lot of money when you pick on somebody who's alive. Oh, Mr. I think we were dressed at that time as rabbits. And I think it was an incredibly dumb idea, too. So in many ways, we were already burning.

Yeah, no. He just pissed on us. It wasn't a good look. And the strange thing wasn't, I mean, I don't have... Did that make it to air? Like, did you... Yeah, well, we made it the news. The news cameras were there.

That's so it made it already. And people are going, oh, he got the chase of good. But I don't generally use the word Mark Latham, sleek political operator. Those are not concepts that go together nowadays. But he was actually the most effective politician, I think, at dealing with the chaser. Because what he would do when he was opposition leader, when we would go to Campbelltown or wherever, we went to his house once drove there.

And he was like, oh, the chasers in Western Sydney. The ABC knows where Western, how did you find us? And it was, we could not use that footage because it was just two. He won. You get winning. When you say he was the breast, though, that was after the fact that he, the first interaction we had with him, he was drunk and smacked me in the head with a... Yeah, no, he learnt.

And that was the one clip. Whenever people did profile pieces for Muck Latham losing control, and this happened often in subsequent, we always got a request. Can we use that footage of Muck Latham hitting Craig with the phone back? And ironically, I think it was that Latham at the time, I think he did it because he thought, he knew the Chaser, like he knew Chaser.

We'd kind of gone into him before, and he didn't realize at that point we had a TV show. He thought it was a university kind of sketched it. He thought he was just, fucking around with us and he was drunk i think uh and so yeah and yet it was used to his proof that he was sunk about yeah so when he beat up the taxi driver and all that kind of stuff yeah no and so that was probably the thing we got the most royalties from over the years was that one clip of him with the fine back and again mark laver that was i think that was my idea that was again

a metaphor brought into the real world it's a beat up beat up refugee yes there you go we're here at parliament house to give the politicians an opportunity to do what they love to do. Bash a refugee. There are so many votes in it and it's really fun. We're just wondering if you wanted to get like 5% or 10% more votes in the next election. What do you're keen on that? Yeah, it'd be lovely. Well, all you have to do is give a refugee bash. That's the secret to it, alright? It's easy. Look, look at this.

I've got One Nation preferences already. Just a little bit like that. Oh, come on. Come on. You're going to get somebody else? If the Prime Minister say only he could do it? Do you want to have a go? I don't.

I wouldn't bash a refugee. That's a very un-Australian response of yours, isn't it? No, I don't think so. Did you like a go? Actually, this good-looking fellow doesn't look a refugee. Good-looking refugee. That's not going to get you up in the polls. Just bash a refugee.

Look, it's easy as anything. Yeah. And you can get 5% or 10% in the polls. What do you reckon? Look, give him a bash now, and we can change the laws later and make it so it's all right. You've got to take the opportunity up. Look at this. Here's a refugee.

Here's something to bash him with. with 10% in the polls, just as easy as that. Come on a swinging bat for a swinging seat. See, easy as anything. And I do think that actually there are some people who regard what you're doing is funny and I think that's very sad. Give him a bash, come on. It's the Australian welcome. It needs to be welcome to this country.

Come on, Mr Bed. Look at him, he's invading our country. You just kind of come through like this, good leverage. You give it hard enough shot we reckon you can get him to Nauru. Come on. Come on. A bit of work from the back bench. Oh, not me.

I'm an Australian citizen. Fucking idiot. That poor actor that played, he was a very good sport, the actor that played the refugee. Yeah, and the irony that it was, there was so few refugees in the country at that time that he was Greek. Yeah, when I say refugee, he wasn't actually a refugee. It was just someone who we can't. That was before, you get cancelled nowadays. Not for the sketch, you'd just be like,

but that has to be played autonomously by a real refugee. Took a role from a legitimate refugee actor, yeah, if you did. Our gear is from road microphones. We're part of the ACAS creator network. We'll have another one of these for you tomorrow morning. Catch you then. See ya.