The Chaser Report - WAR STORIES: Craig's Public Exposure

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

This Summer The Chaser Report presents... WAR STORIES! Craig returns to the studio for another crack at our Summer Stunt Series, this time to talk about the reality of stunts. Lots of people think pulling pranks is sexy, and Craig wants to break that facade into a million small pieces. Listen in for the times that stunts were embarrassing, stupid, lame, and when the coolest people in them were the targets! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. This is the summer stunt series of The Chaser Report. We're catching up with members of the team looking back on some of the TV. Glory and inglorious days, I think it's fair to say. Charles Firth is here. I'm Dom Knight, and Craig Roocastle is back with us again. Hello, Craig. Yes, good to be here.

I want to talk today about how extremely unglamorous stunts can be and how they're often the worst things you'll ever do. when you're lying. I am. Yeah, I'll start with one that didn't happen where I'm really thankful. You know, generally speaking, when somebody gets arrested on the team, you're like, oh, that's bad. But you get publicity, so.

Yeah, publicity. That's true. A little bit of that. Do you remember we did the stunt where Chaz tried to get into Big Day Out? Oh, I do remember that. Steaks. With the sausages. We'll get into that in just a second.

The Chaser Report. News you know you can't trust. Right. So the big day. day out and the less glamorous side of making stunts on TV. Yeah, so, of course, you've got these several steps, and we were basically testing whether or not you could get into the big day out past the sniffer dogs, because it was quite controversial at the time.

They had sniffed dogs. Oh, yeah. So this is the world's greatest stunt, you know. Really? Yes. This one has at least 23 million views on TikTok, the one that you're talking about. And, like, in the later, but also it gets pirated. Like, it is literally, it's become an internet.

It's extraordinary. And it's all in the, like, shitty video in the wrong aspect ratio. People still love it anyway. I love it. And the thing is you'll notice if you watch it is that I'm not in it. But I was there. And this is an example of where, you know, we have come with several ideas. Because you've got to escalate the thing.

So I think the first step was somebody going with... That was Denton's idea. You have an advance. You always have another step. You can't have one good idea. And if you listen back... That was Tendon's idea coming up with good ideas. Good on him.

You have to have more than one fun. I did screw denton and this is why to look back at the you probably already heard the episode about chas at the time we got arrested at berwood local court that was why chas was under a bush naked because he was the second step yeah exactly there's always this second fucking step so go on what is no so so i think we'd initially had somebody go with maybe some fake drugs on them you know but then chas had gone through with stakes in his pockets and the sausages yeah yeah lines of sausages yeah and then he got in trouble with the police and kind of it all got shut down. And I was extremely relieved about that because I was standing like with our

car waiting. I was the final step. If everything didn't, you know, if everything kind of didn't finish, I was meant to go in with dog food in my pants. Oh, were you really? Which I look back now, I got that. I cannot believe that I said yes to that in any way. I think I kind of thought we're never going to get to that. It's kind of funny that we were sitting in the writer's room and thought, oh, I don't think the sausages will work. Yeah. We definitely need a more sure fire off at that. How would you get it? You mean, like, so it looked like poo? No. Did you have to tie the bottom of your, like pants?

Oh, like, kibbles or something. I don't know. I think it was, like, wet dog food in your pants? This is what I, I look back and go, how could I have said yes to this? Well, we did these things very quickly often. You had a quick meeting and then the people organized it all. And then you're out there and you're out there and it's just all been organized and you didn't even realize that it was going to be like wet dog food down your buddies. Exactly. So you go.

extremely unglomerous. The other one I always remember. No, no, but so, and then, but so did you, you didn't have to execute it. I didn't have to do it because thankfully Chaz got lots of trouble from the police and we got shut down and I was like,

thank God. Yeah, right. I look back in hindsight now. But did you then just piss off or did you? You didn't have the dog food in your pants. No, I had not prepped to that point. And did you go along and sort of try and help Chaz out and bail him out

or did you just piss off? I can't remember. remember that, but I don't think I helped him. Yeah. No, why would you? Because we interviewed him about this a few days ago. Yeah. And by his account, he was just stuck there in this sort of Kafka-esque bureaucracy where everyone was talking about him, not realizing that he was the person who'd done it.

So everyone was going, so this guy walked in with a hole of the sausages, the sniffer dog. And he's just sitting there and they're going, no, no, no, it's that guy. That guy there. Some idiot. Yeah, I don't remember how. How we got him out? There's a mistake. They probably...

Yeah, yeah, I know, because that was the perfect opportunity. But also, you know how criminal organisations work. You've got to make it that if one person gets, you know... Yes. ...gets capped. There's positive. You've got continuity. Well, that's...

That is the other example, which is the stunt at Burwood Court. Now, I think this is a perfect... This is another great example. But you weren't in that. No, but I just thought I... The whole topic of unglamorous stunts, the how unglamorous it is. Yes. Did Andrew Hansen talk about this at the time?

We haven't asked Andrew about his extremely excellent getaway. Andrew and Julian had to put the Vodafone logos on each other. We did discuss that. They painted it on each other's asses with a paintbrush in a toilet cubicle. And I would suggest that is one of the least glamorous parts of anyone's life to be doing that. But I also... Yeah, when your job includes arse work. I was painting in public cubicle.

It's like, I wonder, it'd be interesting. Oh, mind you, I can think of several public broadcasters who've had that sort of. Anything can happen when you were in a toilet cubicle, let's just say that. Exactly, yeah. But another one where years ago, there's a picture that occasionally comes up, and I see it and I go, oh, what the fuck was I thinking there? And this was, we did a stunt where I had to wear speed, Now, everyone remembers this has been a Tony Abbott stunt, but it wasn't.

I remember who it was. Yeah, yeah. It was Peter Debenham, the least effective opposition leader in New South Wales history, which no, even people who live in New South Wales will not remember who that was. I don't remember Peter Debton. He was the New South Wales opposition leader for the Liberal Party. And for some reason, this is pre-Toney Albert. And for some reason, in the Liberal Party playbook, it's like,

oh, you want to be elected, do you? Why don't you go to the beach in Red Speedos? Very tight, reds. And he was also, he was extremely far right and very. unelectable and he i think morris yema beat him in a landslide even though no i knew who morris yema was yeah so so basically not ringing a bell yeah yeah this morris yemma guy peter devnum if you're listening we're the two people who remember who you are charles is like um and and has family members who've several who've been in the new south

parliament who would have been who peter dabbat at the same time this was the second morris yuma election because it was the morris yam election where he got back in it surprisingly because peter devon was so shit despite the fact that morris yem is The campaign thing was more to do, but heading in the right direction. That was the world's greatest slogan. And they ran ads. It's like, I'm shit, but I'm trying. But I love it.

I know I'm shit, but I know I'm shit. But I love the, yeah, because it would have been done with focus groups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would have been like, this really resonates with voters. Everyone thinks your shit. How could you capitalize on it to get reelected? Scott Morrison, you might want to try that. Yeah, no.

to do, heading in the right direction. I don't think that would ring true. More to do, and we'll change direction. Everything's still to do. We haven't actually done anything, but we're thinking about it. Considering the truth this time. So anyway, for some reason, he has been a big scandal. Well, not a scandal, but a big media crowd about the fact that he kind of got all

his photos of him and his speedo. It was the only thing that they had to talk about. He was the complete void of personality. It was the one moment that everyone was ever aware of it. Exactly. So this is in the election campaign. So I decided, well, we all decided. We're going to go to his press conference, but in Speedos and try and question him in Speedos,

which again, great idea. But think about it this way. Where does one put a microphone pack in your example? That's true for a radio, particularly in those days, it was quite a heavy battery pack. Yes, you've got his quite like to. And transmitter. So the second thing is that if you're going to do a... So what's the answer?

You didn't. I ended up having to put it in a hat. So now if you see the pictures of this stunt, A, I'm wearing this enormously large trucker's thing that makes me ridiculous. B, and again. You've got a stetson. It's basically a stets.

B, and this is the thing about doing a stunt, is you don't know until the day of two before. So had I known I was going to do a stunt, I would have gone to the gym at any point in the last few years and had a tan. But I did neither of those things. So there's this photo of me on the internet in these red speedos with this pasty white, terrible body

wearing a giant hat that has a microphone stuffed in the top of it. But the shot would have been very well colour balance because they would have been able to get a sort of white balance off your skin. Well, I mean, the great thing is the modern version of those are incredibly small. Like you'd easily, you'd probably go and try it again, Craig. Really? Yeah. Just with a very, very small transmitter.

Let's just say that I haven't been prepping for that either. The one time Peter Devoneman's name will ever be mentioned by anyone in the media But wait a minute, I still don't understand what the stunt was Was it just the fact that to question? I was asking the question. I can't remember what the actual thing was. I think it's on the YouTube song.

Have we got, can we roll the clip? Well, through to infrastructure, which is what we're talking about here today. Mr Devon? Mr Devon, do you have any idea why the people of New South Wales aren't warming to you, Mr. Devonan? Any idea at all why people aren't getting your messages? Oh, sorry, I'm not the, I'm not Peter Dedman. He's over there.

You've got me confused, guys. Sorry, just because I'm wearing this doesn't mean I'm Peter Deadman. This happens everywhere I go. I'm not Peter Deadman. God's sake. Guys, thank you. Thanks very much, everyone. What?

Oh, sorry, I'm not Petit Deadman, I forget. Well, that clears it up, doesn't it? I mean, it really was. Sometimes it was just like, we've gone. to do something on this. It's the least uninteresting things happen in a week. I think, I remember at one point because the media became obsessed by me and started following me.

And I kept just going, I'm not Peter Dettman. Why are you going to be a Peter Dettman? Because you were more recognisable, yeah. But there were times when just to make a topical weekly stunt-based TV show, we had to do the most stupidly obvious things. Like I'm thinking, you know how there's a whole thing with Kevin Wright at scores, right? And he'd been, it was revealed that he'd gone, scores strip club in New York and he'd been trying to suck up to Murdoch, which is ironic given the Royal Commission thing now.

But anyway, and he went to the strip club with them. And we sent, like, a burlesque dancer to his event to, like, disrobe with, like, a Kevin 07, I don't know, like, bra or something. It was just, there was nothing witty or clever about it. It was just we had to do something about this story. What do we do? I guess we'll send a stripper. I guess we'll send a stripper.

But that was the interesting thing about Rudd is because Rudd was very pro talking to us before he got elected. Yes. And then when he got elected, He absolutely shut everything down. I remember that we put hours into trying to get near him, and he was like very much, very cold. I reckon nowadays he'd get it back.

We had him on our triple M show at one point, actually, but no, that's true. There's a story, and we should actually ask the person involved in this to confirm it, but I remember someone in the chase are telling me that, should I say who it is? I remember Chaz telling me that he had somehow, gotten Kevin Rudd like someone was on the phone talking to him and he'd taken the phone from that person at some event and just sworn at Kevin Rudd for like five minutes anonymously like

just abused him and then a few minutes later Kevin Rudd ran just to just to take the piss like just completely it is sorry I've never heard this story jazz were just swearing at Kevin Rudd for a few minutes solid it seems very unchance just for the fun of it just to be silly and then a few minutes later, Kevin Rudd rang his mobile. I was like, oh, hi, Chaz, that was funny what you just did? What did you want to use it for? Do you want anything else for me? Can I come and do a sketch or something? He figured out

he was Chas. He must, maybe he called the person back. Oh, my God. But yeah, it was a quite unprofessional thing that Chas had done just to amuse himself, thinking it we'd never be traced. Kevin Rudd's like, an opportunity to be on the show. I said, I, you know, I could get positive media,

Beasley wouldn't do it. Yeah. That is true that Kevin Rudder when we used to do stunts the Parliament House. And normally when you stand at the doors at Parliament House, like politicians are trying to get around you. So if you're talking to one person, someone would sneak in and go, ah, you've got away with it. And if you're talking to one person,

Kevin Rob would stand there and wait so that you'd get on the show. Can we play the clip here? I think it's one of my favourite moments in the history of The Chaser, where we, it's happened a few times on camera, but we got one where someone went up to Tony Abbott. It may well have been you, Craig, and his brain just broke. He just could not answer the question for quite some time.

There's a famous one for the news where he just goes, ah, ah, ah, for Mark Riley. Yeah, yeah. But we have our version of that, and it's worth playing in. Tony, Tony, I know you worry about debt. We've found a big debt problem, a huge debt problem. Tony Abbott, you're in massive debt. You're a much more debt, and the government is.

Look at this. This is terrible news for you. We keep saying you've got to be as restrained as households. And, and, and, and, and, and, again. Having learnt the lessons myself, the lessons, we can take the lessons of the country. This is an economic question. Shall I ask Andrew Rob about this? But look, because you can't say we should use Australian households,

but they've got six times more debt than the government, Tony. I know you know a tech head or an egghead, but which kind of head are you? You should know this before you go into a press conference. Somebody might ask. Do you want 20 bucks, mate? Tony, get out of debt. Can you hand this onto him? What's interesting in that, because the thing about Tony Abbott was that he's actually an interesting

example of how politicians chose to media manage the chaser. So the first several times we went up to Tony Abbott, he would just absolutely blank us. He wouldn't talk to us. I mean, the famous example was the Archbishop Pell thing. He'd been caught having in a secret interview with Archbishop Pell. Having a meeting and planning. He'd been then caught out, Tony Jones on Lateline,

asked him about it, he'd stumbled about it, he hadn't admitted it. And so I went up to him dressed as an archbishop, just going, Tony, you can remember this meeting or whatever, and followed him around, hassled him, didn't do anything. But then after a few stunts where he did this, he went up to him another one, and he totally changed his approach. He totally engaged. He was actually quite funny, which actually surprised me at the time,

and he actually went along with it, and it fundamentally changed the way he came across in the actual stunts. Well, that's the thing. We were giving people an opportunity to look good if they did a good job. He did a good job. Yeah. So it was weird. That actually doesn't surprise me because I was talking to some cafe owners in Canberra a couple of weeks ago.

As you do. And they were saying that Tony Abbott is one of the sort of nicest and also wittiest and funniest and funniest. Well, I mentioned in another episode of this summer series that I was in a cab with him for 40 minutes once and that he was hilarious and paying out Malcolm Turnbull, who was currently in the middle of trying to knock off. Why are you in a cab with Tony Ever? Because we were at a writers festival. going to the airport and they just somehow put him in a cab with the member of the Chaser. It was the perfect opportunity to do something

and there was no way of doing it. But he'd just been, remember the time he was in that sketch for us right after we were persona and he just came along anyway and he's like, oh, it happens to me all the time that the media hates me.

And I'd just seen him to do this writer's event where he was really stilted and, like, awkward and all that stuff. And then away from the cameras, he was just good value and funny and whatever. And that never came across. He just could not do it. So the Chaser podcast is the

So we suppose if you find out how nice Tony Abbott is. Well, yeah, which is not to say, not to say that, you know. But you didn't expect this when you press play on this. And this is what they call balance. No, but he was. He was actually, like if you'd had a beer with him, he would have been. As long as you didn't get onto religion or politics or anything else. I miss Tony Abbott.

But when you were all laughing at Malcolm Turnbull, it was actually quite entertaining. John Howard was the most annoying because he would just go, ah, ah, ah. He would just do this fake laugh. It was so annoying. And he once, remember the first early days we did the thing where he was like, I think it was Chaz, how long can you shake his hand for? And we had to speed the tape up

because he just kept shaking the hand for a very long time. It's interesting, actually. It was in the very first chaser, the election chaser initially, it was my first insight into the kind of how nightmarish, in actual fact, the world of a politician is. So, you know, how bad it actually is to be a politician. was when we, again, talking about escalations,

we had, Chaz went up to Philip Radek, shook his hand for a long time. Oh, it was it, Philip Rottick, was it? No, no, it was it triple M. But, yeah, and he went to Philip Radek, and then the escalation was going to be the hugged him, and then, oh, yes, yeah, I remember it. And it was going to be, you know, how long can you be with them and how can you annoy them, kind of.

And it was just totally normal to him. He didn't care about the handshake. He'd totally huged Chaz back. We had to put in a trick shot of him slipping the tongue in. Exactly. It's funny. That was into his ear. His ear, yeah.

Exactly. And that was the thing, you go, oh, okay, so for politician, this is normal life for them. They're on the campaign trail. They've got weird assholes coming out, constantly doing weird shit to them. They didn't even notice that Chaz was any different at all. Yeah, and if the camera is running, they just know that they've got to play along or look like tickets. They didn't even notice.

I think that's, I think Chaz ended up by chasing Roman Bishop dressed as a bee for some reason. Again, these things have hearts are when you say them back. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Yes, you're right. I remember why. Because she had a beehive, beehive hair. We really weren't the most sophisticated satirist in you. That's with the same series as the Kim Beasley, like, a corn cob.

That's my favourite. That's one of the straight stunt was which, when Charles did the very, kind of the very first stunt we ever did with Kim Beasley. And we, we, basically, you were holding up different microphones that were food, right? And he just kept on grabbing them. Well, he was pushing it away because you put in his face and that. The final thing was like a microphone boom that was a bread roll. And it came, a big French bread roll and it came down and it was stuck into some hummus in front of it.

And it was cut as, you know, how can he run the country if you can't restrain himself? And I remember Margo Kingston, you know, famous political journalist at the time in Canberra Press Gallery, kind of came running up to us after it was going, oh, great. I said, you guys are the chase guys, aren't you? Oh, what's the point of this? And we're like, ah, I guess it's pretty much a fat guy. He's a tad bunch of. He's a searing political fat gags.

Can I refer you, by the way, to the podcast episode with Will Anderson? Because the greatest faux paro of the history of the chaser was the meeting where he said he didn't want to do. He wanted to work with smart people like us, not those people who stuck a bread stick in front of him. And we, Charles and I interviewed him about that for about 15 minutes. Oh, really? He was in the podcast feed earlier in the year. It's well worth a listen. It was quite fun.

That's great, yes. They didn't all have good idea. Do you remember also that exact stunt was when Glenn Milne turned against us? Oh, yeah. Because he did not approve of any sort of humour being introduced into the election. He said, this is an election campaign. You can't have comedy, and he got all angry. And he is saying, is that what then led to later on where we did a start?

Oh, so we're talking about that? I don't know if we can talk about that. Let's have a quick break while we consider that. The Chaser Report, now with Extra Whispers. So is that what led to, that's what led to later on another stunt the Chaser did? Yes. And that's not Glenn Miel. That was the same series, wasn't it?

With Glen Mieln. And that was the last episode of it. Yeah, I don't remember at all. But I do remember that. In the end, we didn't put it to air because. he said he had cancer. Oh, yes. Which is always a really comfortable subject for us.

We never get into trouble with that. Exactly, exactly. Well, this is a point in that offense because it shows we were actually restrained in some cases. Restrained. That's one of the few occasions where the other famous example of where we didn't put something to wear was where we had quite a few run-ins with Bill Heffernan

on the campaign trailer values, which we did put to wear. And then one year we sent Charles out and Charles followed Bill Heffernan around for quite a while. Like, almost documentary style. And when you looked back on that footage, it was actually extraordinary because it's the one time I've had extraordinary, I really related to Bill Heffernan and felt sorry for him.

Charles Firth managed to make Bill Heffernan be the kind of character you cared for. Yeah, he was sympathetic. He was the victim. And he went, you know, this is an incredible piece of work, Charles. I do believe we may not put it to weird. Just the funny thing was, because Bill Hafferner was kind of like a troll. I actually videoed him once on another election. I was trolling the troll.

Yeah, he was outside the town hall, like voting booth, holding up green, like he grabbed all these green how to vote off someone. And he's going, decriminalized drugs, everyone has drugs. Like, he was just basically heaping shit on greens. Just for the hell. I don't even know why he was there or what he thought he was. This is like a very senior politician's choice of place to go on election day is doing that. He was just kind of troll, wasn't it?

But the Glenn Milne thing, just to give it more context, the notion was, the plan was to try and beat up a story from nothing. Because we thought political journalists, and he probably did something at the time. No, no, because wasn't it about, would he take off his coat? Like, it wasn't the whole thing. Wasn't he going to stand down? Welcome to Alzheimer's weekly. I think we're starting a rumor that he was, we were starting a rumor that he was going to stand down and there was like he was going to lose his job or something. And then he claimed that he had a health problem.

You're right. And we tried to plant the rumour into the press gallery. It was the first... But the whole thing is he had cancer. Well, he said he did, yeah. It was the first draft of the idea that then became... It then became the Cadman idea where we tried to start a rumor. Which was brilliant.

And that was much better. But we should chat about the Cadman thing on another episode because we don't want the listeners to... We only have so many good ideas. Because everyone's really turned off this one. Hi, Glenn. But before... No, but before we finish this episode, can I just ask about Petty Costello?

Because I remember you being pissed off with how well Petito Stello would deal with you. Yeah, no, Petito Stello, we didn't do many stunts with him, but we did one where we were doing a parody of like a no smoking ad at the time or something. We went up to Petit Costello, and he just... This is the Gary's, right? Yeah, we played along and... danced and he became all animated and danced and he was and he looked he was great but he was

very surprising it was so against what you expected to come he was also he was really playing it was the no gary no we'll play the clip with that no gary no which was if you hadn't seen the old ad even now it's completely bizarre but you were just replicating the ad in the real world no no no no no no no They've been a harker. Part, part the waters. How are you? You're not going to quit?

Good to see you. Nice to see you. Good to see you. Good time. We will. Yes, boys, yes. And he really did play along very beautifully. Yeah, if the clip was just played,

there's also a half an hour side version where we explain what the fuck that was about. That's actually too boring for even this podcast. But wasn't the point that because he played along so well, it didn't quite work as well? Yeah, no, it was, interestingly enough, it actually, it did work. In actual fact, he made that piece. And he, that was the interesting thing about these stunts is that sometimes, sometimes the comedy came from the politician getting the shits,

but sometimes they would actually come up with a better line and actually make the piece work. And you go, oh, that politician has just given the punchline to this piece. And Malcolm Turnbull actually occasionally would be very very, very good at that, giving you kind of quite a good punchline as well. And you go, oh, well, good on you. You've gone along with it. You've actually got a great line out there. Did Peter Debbin and never give you a good punch sign?

Again, some road microphones. We're part of the ACAS, Creator Network. We'll have another one of these tomorrow in your feed.