The Chaser Report - We Found Fox News' Newest Puppet! | Randy Feltface

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

Charles Firth is joined by everyone's favourite internationally famous puppet, RANDY FELTFACE. Randy shares a big scoop on who will be replacing Tucker Carlson - him! But what things will Randy do as ...the new face of Fox News? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Donovan Charles. I'm Charles Firth and today I am joined by an amazingly, amazingly, like, world touring guest, Randy Felt Face. How are you going, Randy? I'm so great. Thank you so much for having me on the pod. It's an absolute delight.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Where's the other guy? My replacement. Yeah, well, the thing is he's very lazy, and you're in America, so you've got terrible time zones. So we're recording this early in the morning. It's like 8.30 in the morning. That is well before Dom ever wakes up. Oh, I apologize. I could have changed my schedule around to suit his late awakening times.
Starting point is 00:00:51 But I'm very happy to be chatting with you, not to be undercutting our connection. Yeah. I mean, we've got a rapport that goes back years. Oh, yeah. Yes. I mean, I, I remember us sort of kicking back. The theater days. The theater day. Yeah, I mean, yeah, in the 80s and 90s when we did all those, you know, undergraduate reviews.
Starting point is 00:01:17 Yeah, I think we probably, I can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you and I, we started out in the Rock of Stedford's. I think it was 85, was our first Rock of Stedford together. Yes. Yeah, we did that. That was, that was, that was amazing. It was like a back to the future kind of style. And that was, see, I think we did, did we do Wham? Was that Wham that we did?
Starting point is 00:01:36 It was WAM. Yeah, it was all that. It was Back to the Future with a WAM. Oh, it was back to the future. That's right. Yes, no, WAM was the next year, wasn't it? It was back to the future, it was 85, WAM was 86. And then, and what was the song that made the whole of the Sydney Opera House rise up?
Starting point is 00:01:57 And there was that sort of riot. Wake me up. before you go-go. Was that... Yeah, yeah. And you did... Because you, that was when you did the... You had the pants with the, you know, the press studs down the side.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Yes. You did the reveal. Yes. And because I was... I think I was 11 at the time. Yes. And I looked back at the footage and we thought it was a standing ovation, but people were exited.
Starting point is 00:02:21 That's right. Mind you, I got lots of interest from the Catholic Church after that. got lots of offers to go to Catholic Church private school boys at school. Oh. Yeah. So it did wonders for my school. It wasn't a waste of our time then. No, exactly.
Starting point is 00:02:41 And I picked up a lot, that night, actually. Oh, really? You got some sweets in the Opera House action for the show. This is a great way to start, isn't it? We've really come out of the gates in the classy mode. But you're in Pittsburgh, are you? I'm in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I'm in the middle of a three-month tour of the United States,
Starting point is 00:03:01 traveling around all over the place. I'm having a blast. I'm finding this tour is really interesting. Like, I've toured the States a few times, but it's a wild time to be out here. There's a lot going on. Yes. And I know you've spent quite a bit of time over here in various capacities,
Starting point is 00:03:16 and it really is like 50 different countries when you get down to it, when you start touring. Just the difference, even just the difference in what people laugh at from night to night from state to state. It's fascinating. Right. And do you find yourself having to adjust or do you just sort of be offensive to you? No. I mean, I do a bit of local material and stuff wherever I go, but I still do my act. I'm doing like 70, 75 minutes on stage. And it's just more like certain words. People in different states will react to the word rather than the joke. Like if I say the word consent, I've got one joke where I say the word consent. And some states
Starting point is 00:03:56 they laugh at the joke and other states they react to the fact that I've said the word consent on stage like I'm some woke police kind of random creature yeah and you know it's different like I have a little few references to things like you know even saying the word second amendment on on stage gets some different reactions depending where you are and you get you get woo-hoo in in the rust built or just oh because generally my jokes aren't super pro guns. So, yeah. Yeah, it's very, very cool.
Starting point is 00:04:30 But I had one experience, I don't know where we're going with this. I'm assuming you're going to drive us towards news and all sorts of chaser, controversial, edgy shit. But I'm just leaping straight into, I'm on the road. I'm literally waking up every day,
Starting point is 00:04:47 driving or flying to another state, performing to a few hundred people and then doing it all again the next day. No, but I'm interested in, like, where does Pittsburgh, Lie on the political spectrum Because you were saying just before we came on That you thought that they felt fairly blue nowadays
Starting point is 00:05:04 That last time I went to Pittsburgh We went to this fucking huge fuck-off stadium And it was just Trump City Right Yeah well look Driving through Pennsylvania There are still a lot of Trump flags and banners and stuff
Starting point is 00:05:20 Up in people's front yards and stuff Like I drove down from Syracuse New York And on the way through There was definitely some Trumpy shenanigans happening. But also, I need to point out that the club that I played here in Pittsburgh is called Bottle Rocket Social Hall. And it's like a, I think it's like 150 seat like end on 70s style bar with like wood paneling
Starting point is 00:05:47 on the walls and like a really cool theatrical owner who's like programming like alternative comedy nights. And so I think the audience that I are. are very much like my US audience are coming and they're all kind of pretty much nerdy gamers very sweet full spectrum in terms of you know queer culture and different kind of approach to the way so I don't get a lot of Trump fans at my shows I would wager so maybe my impression of how blue Pittsburgh is is just the 150 people that came and saw me on a on a Friday night they're the only 150 interesting people in Pittsburgh
Starting point is 00:06:26 The only 150 left, yeah, yeah, but it's a very cool city. I did have one weird experience, sorry, you go ahead. No, I was going to say Pittsburgh was the site where Uber started trialing their Tesla, for self-driving Teslas. It's actually quite a progressive city in terms of tech and hipster culture and stuff like that. Like they went, oh, yeah, where should we test our new self-driving technology? Pittsburgh, which, you know, like if you understand anything about American politics, You go, that was an old steel city, you know, like coal city.
Starting point is 00:07:02 But now it sort of, it has updated itself. You know, I'm vegan. I got that into the podcast pretty quick. But the reason I bring it up is every time I go to a new city, all I do when I walk into the city is I put the word vegan into Google Maps and find where the vegan restaurants are so I know where I'm going to eat. And Pittsburgh, terrible, terrible number, very limited on the vegan front. you know any other city that's how i judge the hipster level of the city i'm in here it's all i mean
Starting point is 00:07:30 there is a lot of burgers and fries and they and and and there's a lot of pizza joints and uberates late at night it's all it's all but there's no like sweet vegan taco that i can find on the street that being said though um the tesla thing i was in san francisco recently oh wow and the self-driving cars they're like they're driving around just figuring out how to operate on the streets of San Francisco, shitloads of them. Do they run over people much? I didn't see any, I didn't see any collisions, but they've got little whirly cameras on the roof and they look, you know, they're very sci-fi-looking cars driving around.
Starting point is 00:08:08 I do deliberately walk in front of them as often as possible just to test the efficacy. And also knowing that you'll clean up if they fail, like, you know, it's sort of a win-win. Oh, exactly. That's, yeah, I'm going for litigation. I'm in the States. I know how it works over here. I'm literally trying to sue someone every day of the week. Have you seen any shootings since you arrived?
Starting point is 00:08:32 How long have you been there? I've been here for a good month and a bit. Yeah, right. So far, haven't seen any shootings. No, no. I've been keeping it pretty low key on that front. Yeah. You never know, though, do you?
Starting point is 00:08:48 I'm not going anywhere that's particularly, I was about to say I'm not going anywhere that's particularly likely for me to get shot but I mean I could go to a fucking supermarket at this point couldn't I yeah yeah yeah no I keep a pretty low profile over here I mean the big news obviously is this week that I've been experiencing as Tucker Carlson yes so did you have a role in that
Starting point is 00:09:10 like did you bring up Rupert and no but I but I I don't know if I'm actually allowed to say this my publicist is looking at me from across the room shaking her head violently, but I'm going for it. I have been named as his replacement. Oh, wow. So they've replaced one puppet with another Muppet. Exactly, exactly.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Yeah, I'm taking up the mantle of the Fox News primetime. The Felt report will be starting next week. They're giving a week, just a week between Tucker's firing and me stepping in. Yes. But yeah, very excited about that. So I'm actually keen to pick your brains as far as how hard you think I should go as a new right-wing political, you know, reporter. Well, there's, I mean, there's two aspects to it, isn't it? There's on-screen persona and off-screen behaviour, right?
Starting point is 00:10:07 So I assume probably the weak delay is just to give you training in how to harass staff and bully people and be awful to people, right? just so that you fit into the Fox News culture. Right, right, right. Yeah, okay, so that's what the cultural training. Yes, that's right. Oh, I see. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay, I'm so glad I'm talking to you about this
Starting point is 00:10:30 because I'm pretty nervous about it, you know, like having obviously spent 15 years on stage talking about veganism and being pretty left-leaning, there's a lot of content out there for them to come at me and take me down. So anything, any advice you have is how to make myself a little bit more red. Well, remember Tucker Carlson started out writing for New York Times Magazine and things like that. Like he, I mean, sure, he was a bit of a Nazi high school and during his university days. But then he sort of, he had a lot of embarrassing things where he was just a bit, you know, not vegan style,
Starting point is 00:11:12 but, you know, that sort of left liberal journalistic culture that he had to sort of, jettison the moment he got into Fox News. But I think what I would do, if I were you, is really lean into the Second Amendment as a starting point. So first episode, probably be holding a machine gun or something like that as you go to air. Some sort of assault rifle. Yeah. And just wave it around so that all the sort of camera people and crew get slightly scared
Starting point is 00:11:42 every time you start on another talking. But maybe, no, maybe you should have a segment. called bullet points, right? And every time you make another bullet point, you shoot the gun. That is genius. Can I take that idea? Can you have to sell me that concept? You can have that, yeah. No, that's a freebie. Brilliant. Yeah, okay. So you know what? Let's go one further. Let's call the show bullet points with Randy Feldfaith. Yes. It's literally just me shooting targets. Shooting target. This week, shooting like a cardboard cut out of Biden. He's running for re-election, bang.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Yes. This is my, oh my God, that's genius. Yes, I love it. And then the thing is, and I think the other thing is you've got to get straight out of the way of the vegan stuff. Like, you've got to jettison that whole persona right immediately by maybe having a vegan as the first person you shoot by it. Yeah, and then maybe a cow.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Oh, yeah, and just eating the cow. You shoot the cow at the beginning of episode. By the end of the episode, you're eating it. And, well, that could be another segment. Yeah, and I could actually shoot it. Yeah, don't have a cow. Don't have it. Or just have a cow. Yeah, have a cow.
Starting point is 00:12:49 I could shoot it at the top of the segment and then have somebody, yeah, somebody can sort of, you know, work on it, slaughtering it in the background. I reckon that's a fact checking. That's your fact checking segment and it should be called total bull, right? And the expert, the person who's working out whether something's total bull or not bull, right, then the way they work it out is they, oh, how would it work? Maybe there's two cows. You've got two cows.
Starting point is 00:13:18 There's two cows, one with the false statement, one with the truth that we want to push. Yes, yes. Maybe they're just written on the top of the cow or something like that on the side of the cow. Yeah, yeah, like paint it on the cow. Yes, yes. And then you kill the woke cow. Yes. And you could do something like where, you know, like in each week.
Starting point is 00:13:39 And you could actually have another cow, which you also are going to kill, which is the sacred cows. So like every time, you know, I don't know, treat people nicely or something like that. And then you just kill the sacred cow. That's perfect. Yep, yep. Okay, this is good. I like this a lot. I think we're really under something.
Starting point is 00:13:59 So bullet points with Randy Felface have a cow or total bull. This is, we're really workshop on this. Do you want to come on board as a co-producer? I need this. I think I should. I think at this day. The problem is I'm not very good at harassment. I sort of tend to usually be the person who is harassed.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Oh, no, I'll be the harasser. Yeah, okay, great. I'll do the harassing. Listen, listen, you're in total fucking podcasting piece of shit. I'll do the harassment. I'm already away. We're going to make a good team, I reckon. So can I ask, have you thought about how?
Starting point is 00:14:37 because you've got to also shit on a whole lot of different minorities, right? Like, it's not just about racism in America. It's also you've got to do, so you're going to have the sort of, you know, dog whispering or, you know, like sort of dog whistling around racism, but you also need some sort of angle on trans people and women. You know, like there's lots of minorities. Absolutely. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:02 So how are you going to do that? Yeah. That's hard. That's pretty, I think that. Look, I think that the path has been really well laid out for me. There has been, so much, so much of that work has been, that the ground work has been done. Yes, I don't think it's too difficult for me to pick up the mantle of talking about,
Starting point is 00:15:24 you know, to pick up the mantle of transphobia and, and I guess, my opposition to any options as far as reproductive health goes. Yes, yes. And just run with that. It's really about how to make it through. you know how to make it new and exciting how what's the you know and I think that that is what is going to be most challenging for me because how do you top Tucker Carlson how do you one up how do I how do I bring something in that's and obviously shooting a cow live on the air
Starting point is 00:15:55 pretty good start yes but it feels like it might get a tired after a few weeks you need you need a few different types of cigarettes. I'm really struggling because Taka Kuzm is just so angry all the time. It feels like you can't really like you just looked angry. Can you even look angry? Can you actually do an angry expression?
Starting point is 00:16:19 Yeah, yeah. And the benefit is that he and I both only have the one facial expression, which is just sort of that sort of gaping mouth confusion at the state of the world. Yes. I think I can pick that up pretty damn quick. Okay. But then how do we freshen up transphobia and abortion stuff?
Starting point is 00:16:39 I think that should be the byline of the podcast, just in general. How do we freshen up transphobia? I think if you just put that on where do we listen to this, wherever you get your podcast. Because the problem with transphobia, of course, is that all the really great proponents of transphobia, keep dying. Like, we're going to run out of transphobes at this rate. You think we're on the verge of running out? I feel like I'm not sure that we're in danger of there being not enough transphobes.
Starting point is 00:17:19 If anything, we could get rid of a few more. Could we do some sort of, like, I mean, is there a, is there some sort of, sort of theatrical way to deal with transpho? Like, is it something where you get a sort of, you know how in Australia, we've got Q&A and stuff like that, where you invite a sort of broad representation, like the hundred most, you know, different people with different opinions and then they all ask questions, could you do that, but only with transphobes in the audience? You just have a hundred transphobes.
Starting point is 00:17:59 And instead of Q&A, it would just be – because, you know, they don't really – they're not very inquisitive. You just – I don't know, yeah. And then you have one transgender person in the centre, and how would it work? I don't know. I'm not sure I want to finish that. No, I don't want to either, yeah. I think you've just wandered yourself into a creative cul-de-sac, and I just sat back, and I was just waiting. Where is you going to go with 100 transphobes and one?
Starting point is 00:18:29 person who identifies as transgender. A lot of the transgender, you know, entertainers are very, very entertaining. It might actually be, maybe it's one of those win them over moments where, you know, it's thumbs up or thumbs down, Roman Coliseum style. I see. What about, what about we combine all of it? We put the trans folks in the audience and arm the transgender person. with a semi-automatic rifle.
Starting point is 00:19:00 With a gun. Yeah. Yes. And it's sort of tables are turned type thing. Yeah. And then it's really, uh... Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's your publicist thinking now? My publicist has actually left the room. Um, it's a vomit in the other room. So I think we're in all sorts of strife there. The Chaser report.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Less News. Less often. Okay, so it's called Bullet Points with Randy Felt Faze. You've got a week. Yeah, Bullet Points with Randy Felt Fis. Coming to Fox News, prime time, nonstop, all the segments. Obviously, I'm going to be shooting things. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:43 That's first. And we're going to keep it fresh every week with whichever subculture is being victimized. We will come up with a creative and fresh way to publicly assassinate them. If you do an oppressed minority a week, you've got years of material. Absolutely, because, I mean, well, not just a press minority, but just generally, I mean, again, like this woke concept, like how many more things will get vacuumed in to being perceived as a threat, you know, by the liberal. Yeah, I think there's a lot of places to go with this. I'm just excited to take it out on the road next year. I'll be, I'll do, I think I'm going to do a year on Fox News and then I'm just going to hit
Starting point is 00:20:33 the corporate speaking circuit, just fucking clean up. Yeah, because what's Tucker going to do now? Like, I was talking to Nick Bryant yesterday, who's this expert on America, he's BBC guy who now lives in Australia. And he was saying, whenever anyone leaves a platform like Fox, they kid themselves that they actually weren't just the platform. You know, like their whole fame was not formed from the platform. And then they fail.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Like, Bill O'Reilly sort of just disappeared. Like, it was the biggest thing on cable news, and then he just disappeared the moment he lost his platform. And his prediction was, oh, Tucker Carlson will just fade into obscurity fairly quickly. I'm thinking Tucker Carlson, 2024, surely he's got to run for president. I think so. I think so, actually. You think he's going to launch...
Starting point is 00:21:27 a campaign immediately, like, because he'd have to, he'd have to announce his candidacy, like, now. Yeah, because you want to be at the peak of, well, he said that he's going to go back and write for the Daily Caller, which is this far right website, and two of the articles on the Daily Caller, within hours of him announcing that, were speculation that he was going to run for president. And that's his own fucking website. Is he, did he lose his podcast as well, or just the, just his show? because he had a, he launched it, he had a podcast running it simultaneously.
Starting point is 00:22:00 I don't know. I mean, I noticed on Twitter, he, I'm not sure if he lost that. He updated his Twitter to be his own website name, Taka Carlson.com. I love that. So, I love that. I wonder how long until he starts selling supplements. But he's, I mean, he's launching a litigation, he's launching a lawsuit immediately about his dismissal. So that'll drag out his, um,
Starting point is 00:22:26 Yes, his profile. Drag out his appearance. Yeah, his profile. He'll be in the news for a little bit longer because the lawyer. And Don Lemon got canned as well, right? Yes. They both got the same lawyer, I believe. That guy, what's his name, Brian Friedman, that lawyer to the stars.
Starting point is 00:22:47 And people don't know Don Lemon as well here as Tucker Carlson. Can you explain what did he do wrong? Oh, Lemon. I actually, fascinatingly, I'm not 100% sure either. I feel like that, I mean, Tucker Carlson was obviously, I think it's just the fact that Lemon kind of came out and talked about, was it aging, he was talking about women aging. He was talking about how, yeah, I think he was just sort of.
Starting point is 00:23:17 That's a good topic for your Filtface show, for the, your Fox News show. Women aging. Women aging, they shouldn't. More at nine. Yeah, yeah. But he's, I mean, that's the other side of the aisle in some respects with CNN. I guess they're a little bit less box newsy, but he got canned from CNN because I think he just, yeah, I don't know. I feel like he talked about women aging and he was sort of perceived to be.
Starting point is 00:23:46 And then he was rude to that Native American or like that guy. One of one of the commentators who was sort of identifying as broadly, you know, non-white, and Donald Lemon went, well, actually, I'm an African-American, I'm black. My experience as a black man trumps your experience as an indigenous American, also non-white man, and was very dismissive on air. I miss that one. I feel like everyone's just talking about the fact that he was a little. little bit offensive around, um, you know, the longevity of, of women. Yeah. They call themselves eye candy and yet they start fading.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Yeah, I think a little bit of that. But I find that, I, yeah, I'm not sure. I think that that was back in February. He made those comments. So I'm not sure. I think it's just interesting timing. Yes. Um, and the link really is that, that, um, Lemon and Tucker Carlson have both hired the
Starting point is 00:24:51 same lawyer to try to get them a massive settlement on, the way out the door. Maybe, can I just speculate here? Yeah, if this is going to involve me shooting one of them on my new show, continue. Well, maybe you could have them on the show, and each week the viewers have to vote on which one you shoot. Okay. That segment would only last two weeks.
Starting point is 00:25:13 But, no, I'm speculating the Dream Team presidential ticket, Lemon Carlson, or Carlson Lemon, maybe, 2024 lemon is good lemon carlson sounds like a new flavor of some sort of beverage i want to get me a lemon carlson they can be your sponsor for your show for your fox news show yes yes lemon carlons you because you need to be into my pillows that's the that's the sponsor like if you're oh no i'd have to have i'd have to do some sort of bud light promotion oh yes i'm going you know all of this if you've been following the shenanigans with bud light We haven't covered it on the podcast, but for listeners who don't know about it, so Bud Light featured a transgender person for about five seconds or something on some Instagram post.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Yeah, it was just like a promotion. They had a transgender influencer just basically saying how good is Bud Light. And absolute uproar, absolute uproar to the point where they have like suspended a couple of executives from the company. And Bud Light's sales have just, like, crashed. Really? Yeah, absolutely. People are calling for a boycott of the brand. And, yeah, it's amazing.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Because I would have thought it did more damage to the transgender community endorsing Bud Light. That's a horrible beer. Yeah, I know. It's a terrible out of all of the beverages. Yeah. It just sort of wiped away any sense that transgender people have taste. Right. It's just ruined the reputation.
Starting point is 00:26:56 What's the equivalent in Australia? Like, what would be the, I mean, what are we talking like some sort of, what's the shittiest beer? What's the shittiest beer in Australia? What could possibly compare for people who are not following this story back in Australia? Who could come out and drink a beverage? Well, it would be 4x, wouldn't it? 4x gold or something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:23 Probably. Is it a beloved? Yeah, particularly in Queensland. Oh my God, can you imagine? Yes. The uproar. It'd be 4X gold. All right, that is your mission.
Starting point is 00:27:31 That is now I'm handing you the gauntlet, that you need to get someone to an influencer in Australia to do a 4X promotion. Yes. Not authorised by 4X, but just do it to get rid of 4X. I once auditioned to direct a 4X gold commercial. this is many, many years ago. And the casting process was hilarious, right? Because they didn't want to say,
Starting point is 00:27:59 we only want white men in the ad. But the casting process resolved. I mean, this was before I was brought. Like, I didn't get the gig. But it was amazing how they just all turned out to be white men. What are the odds? I know. It was amazing.
Starting point is 00:28:18 And there's no women at all. Because they bought an island. the 4x island, right? And it was sort of like, oh, it's like the dream utopia of, you know, where instead of water there's 4X or whatever. But it was just white men. It was like, that's not a utopia. In no universe is, oh, wow, there's a desert island.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Let's stack it out with Ocker, Aussie males in their 20s and 30s. Like, that's dystopia. Yeah, let's bomb that island, I think, is to take home from that. It's just a nuclear testing on that island. They'll be your core demographic when you do your Fox News audience. It'll be white, aggrieved men in their 20s and 30s, won't it? Yeah, and I have to figure out the quickest way to radicalise them. That's my mission now.
Starting point is 00:29:08 How do I radicalise my audience? What you should do is you should pretend that you're doing sort of talking points from far right sort of, I don't know, thinkers like Jordan Peterson, but actually slip in a bit of Marx or Simone de Bill. Louvoire or, you know, foundational, you know, Catherine McKinnon, like, foundational feminists. I love that idea. Yeah. Maybe I could start, yeah, because you've got to bring them down from the inside, right? Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:29:33 This is now the play. Yes. I'm going to, I'm going to subtly start leaning people towards the left. Yes. Because that's how that, I mean, that's pretty much how that whole network works, right? Misinformation. Yes. in a confident way
Starting point is 00:29:51 and pitched with anger no matter what it is that message will cut through okay great and suddenly you'll get people going yeah I'm angry about the lack of equality between men and women women should actually earn 100% of a man's wage
Starting point is 00:30:06 absolutely I think I can get there I think I can turn around these restrictions on abortion first up straight away that'll be easy yep well I think it's because how would you do that you just trick them.
Starting point is 00:30:22 You just trick them into thinking that it's a further restriction on women to be able to choose to have an abortion. Yeah, you have to pitch it in a way that... It's still hateful. Yeah, absolutely. It's just hateful, but that it's in, yeah, somehow spin abortion into an issue which is good for white middle America. Yeah, yeah, okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:30:49 And we'll just do that with everything. Probably, yeah, probably just play on the mistress angle for that one. I'm not sure. But we'll figure it out. Yeah. Well, especially all the religious pastors who are, you know, the far-right religious pastors who are pushing all these laws, they would all have mistresses. And I think around about now, they'd be going, oh, this is a bit of a problem.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Yes. And I'm also sponsored by a far-right religious pastor restaurant as well, the other kind of pastor. Yeah, right. So it's an Italian restaurant staffed purely with priests. It's called Pastor Pastor, and they are my key sponsor, along with Forex. That's great. You're going to, you're going to, you're going to, the Murdox are going to love you. I've got to say, if we walk away from nothing, with nothing from this conversation,
Starting point is 00:31:39 if we walk away from nothing else other than Pastor Pastor, then I feel like this whole conversation has been worth it. Yes, and instead of unlimited breadsticks, which is what you get at the other pastor shop, Olive Garden, you could have unlimited, unlimited communion wafers. Oh, they're so, they're so filling. Those you don't fill up on wafers. Yes. Oh, I'd love a second round of pizza, but I'm full of the body of Christ. Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Oh, and all your water. Would you like water? And it just instantly turns into wine as they pour it out. Oh. I love that. Tell me that that would not be a success. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, officer, I've had too many blood of Christ.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Oh, I haven't had anything to drink, but I've got a whole lot of blood of Christ in my body. Yeah, so much blood of Christ. Okay, we've got to sort it out. Okay, good. Productive chat. Well, now, Randy, you're on a world tour. You're in America at the moment. When are you coming to Australia?
Starting point is 00:32:42 Oh, my gosh. I'm going to be there in all of July and August. I start my little tour through Australia, New Zealand, July August, the Feltopia tour. Right. I'll be like everywhere, every capital city except Darwin. So to get tickets, and you should probably book soon, because I'm sure it'll all be sold out, but feltface.com is where you get the tickets and the tour details for the Australian tour. Randy Feltface, thank you so much for joining us, and congratulations on your new gig.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Thank you so much. What a pleasure. And I look forward to talking to you again. And also just put the link in the bio for that giveaway for the free meal at Pasta Pasta. Oh, yes. Yeah, absolutely, yes. Get everybody on board that. Our gurus from Road, we are part of the Iconocles Network.
Starting point is 00:33:27 We'll catch you tomorrow.

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