The Chaser Report - We Found Fox News' Newest Puppet! | Randy Feltface
Episode Date: April 26, 2023Charles Firth is joined by everyone's favourite internationally famous puppet, RANDY FELTFACE. Randy shares a big scoop on who will be replacing Tucker Carlson - him! But what things will Randy do as ...the new face of Fox News? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land.
Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report.
Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Donovan Charles.
I'm Charles Firth and today I am joined by an amazingly, amazingly, like, world touring guest, Randy Felt Face.
How are you going, Randy?
I'm so great.
Thank you so much for having me on the pod.
It's an absolute delight.
Where's the other guy?
My replacement.
Yeah, well, the thing is he's very lazy, and you're in America, so you've got terrible time zones.
So we're recording this early in the morning.
It's like 8.30 in the morning.
That is well before Dom ever wakes up.
Oh, I apologize.
I could have changed my schedule around to suit his late awakening times.
But I'm very happy to be chatting with you, not to be undercutting our connection.
Yeah.
I mean, we've got a rapport that goes back years.
Oh, yeah.
Yes. I mean, I, I remember us sort of kicking back.
The theater days.
The theater day.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, in the 80s and 90s when we did all those, you know, undergraduate reviews.
Yeah, I think we probably, I can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you and I, we started out in the Rock of Stedford's.
I think it was 85, was our first Rock of Stedford together.
Yes.
Yeah, we did that.
That was, that was, that was amazing.
It was like a back to the future kind of style.
And that was, see, I think we did, did we do Wham?
Was that Wham that we did?
It was WAM.
Yeah, it was all that.
It was Back to the Future with a WAM.
Oh, it was back to the future.
That's right.
Yes, no, WAM was the next year, wasn't it?
It was back to the future, it was 85, WAM was 86.
And then, and what was the song that made the whole of the Sydney Opera House rise up?
And there was that sort of riot.
Wake me up.
before you go-go.
Was that...
Yeah, yeah.
And you did...
Because you, that was when you did the...
You had the pants with the, you know, the press studs down the side.
Yes.
You did the reveal.
Yes.
And because I was...
I think I was 11 at the time.
Yes.
And I looked back at the footage and we thought it was a standing ovation, but people
were exited.
That's right.
Mind you, I got lots of interest from the Catholic Church after that.
got lots of offers to go to Catholic Church private school boys at school.
Oh.
Yeah.
So it did wonders for my school.
It wasn't a waste of our time then.
No, exactly.
And I picked up a lot, that night, actually.
Oh, really?
You got some sweets in the Opera House action for the show.
This is a great way to start, isn't it?
We've really come out of the gates in the classy mode.
But you're in Pittsburgh, are you?
I'm in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
I'm in the middle of a three-month tour of the United States,
traveling around all over the place.
I'm having a blast.
I'm finding this tour is really interesting.
Like, I've toured the States a few times,
but it's a wild time to be out here.
There's a lot going on.
Yes.
And I know you've spent quite a bit of time over here in various capacities,
and it really is like 50 different countries when you get down to it,
when you start touring.
Just the difference, even just the difference in what people laugh at from night to
night from state to state. It's fascinating. Right. And do you find yourself having to adjust
or do you just sort of be offensive to you? No. I mean, I do a bit of local material and stuff
wherever I go, but I still do my act. I'm doing like 70, 75 minutes on stage. And it's just more
like certain words. People in different states will react to the word rather than the joke.
Like if I say the word consent, I've got one joke where I say the word consent. And some states
they laugh at the joke and other states they react to the fact that I've said the word consent
on stage like I'm some woke police kind of random creature yeah and you know it's different
like I have a little few references to things like you know even saying the word second
amendment on on stage gets some different reactions depending where you are and you get you get
woo-hoo in in the rust built or just oh because generally my jokes aren't super pro
guns.
So, yeah.
Yeah, it's very, very cool.
But I had one experience,
I don't know where we're going with this.
I'm assuming you're going to drive us towards news
and all sorts of chaser,
controversial, edgy shit.
But I'm just leaping straight into,
I'm on the road.
I'm literally waking up every day,
driving or flying to another state,
performing to a few hundred people
and then doing it all again the next day.
No, but I'm interested in,
like, where does Pittsburgh,
Lie on the political spectrum
Because you were saying just before we came on
That you thought that they felt fairly blue nowadays
That last time I went to Pittsburgh
We went to this fucking huge fuck-off stadium
And it was just Trump City
Right
Yeah well look
Driving through Pennsylvania
There are still a lot of Trump
flags and banners and stuff
Up in people's front yards and stuff
Like I drove down from Syracuse New York
And on the way through
There was definitely some
Trumpy shenanigans happening.
But also, I need to point out that the club that I played here in Pittsburgh is
called Bottle Rocket Social Hall.
And it's like a, I think it's like 150 seat like end on 70s style bar with like wood paneling
on the walls and like a really cool theatrical owner who's like programming like
alternative comedy nights.
And so I think the audience that I are.
are very much like my US audience are coming and they're all kind of pretty much
nerdy gamers very sweet full spectrum in terms of you know queer culture and
different kind of approach to the way so I don't get a lot of Trump fans at my shows I would
wager so maybe my impression of how blue Pittsburgh is is just the 150 people that came
and saw me on a on a Friday night they're the only 150 interesting people in Pittsburgh
The only 150 left, yeah, yeah, but it's a very cool city.
I did have one weird experience, sorry, you go ahead.
No, I was going to say Pittsburgh was the site where Uber started trialing their Tesla,
for self-driving Teslas.
It's actually quite a progressive city in terms of tech and hipster culture and stuff like that.
Like they went, oh, yeah, where should we test our new self-driving technology?
Pittsburgh, which, you know, like if you understand anything about American politics,
You go, that was an old steel city, you know, like coal city.
But now it sort of, it has updated itself.
You know, I'm vegan.
I got that into the podcast pretty quick.
But the reason I bring it up is every time I go to a new city, all I do when I walk into
the city is I put the word vegan into Google Maps and find where the vegan restaurants
are so I know where I'm going to eat.
And Pittsburgh, terrible, terrible number, very limited on the vegan front.
you know any other city that's how i judge the hipster level of the city i'm in here it's all i mean
there is a lot of burgers and fries and they and and and there's a lot of pizza joints and uberates
late at night it's all it's all but there's no like sweet vegan taco that i can find on the
street that being said though um the tesla thing i was in san francisco recently oh wow
and the self-driving cars they're like they're driving around just figuring out how to operate on
the streets of San Francisco, shitloads of them.
Do they run over people much?
I didn't see any, I didn't see any collisions, but they've got little whirly cameras on
the roof and they look, you know, they're very sci-fi-looking cars driving around.
I do deliberately walk in front of them as often as possible just to test the efficacy.
And also knowing that you'll clean up if they fail, like, you know, it's sort of a win-win.
Oh, exactly.
That's, yeah, I'm going for litigation.
I'm in the States.
I know how it works over here.
I'm literally trying to sue someone every day of the week.
Have you seen any shootings since you arrived?
How long have you been there?
I've been here for a good month and a bit.
Yeah, right.
So far, haven't seen any shootings.
No, no.
I've been keeping it pretty low key on that front.
Yeah.
You never know, though, do you?
I'm not going anywhere that's particularly,
I was about to say I'm not going anywhere
that's particularly likely for me to get shot
but I mean I could go to a fucking supermarket at this point
couldn't I yeah yeah yeah no I keep a pretty low profile over here
I mean the big news obviously is this week
that I've been experiencing as Tucker Carlson
yes so did you have a role in that
like did you bring up Rupert and
no but I but I I don't know if I'm actually allowed to say this
my publicist is looking at me from across the room shaking her head
violently, but I'm going for it.
I have been named as his replacement.
Oh, wow.
So they've replaced one puppet with another Muppet.
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, I'm taking up the mantle of the Fox News primetime.
The Felt report will be starting next week.
They're giving a week, just a week between Tucker's firing and me stepping in.
Yes.
But yeah, very excited about that.
So I'm actually keen to pick your brains as far as how hard you think I should go as a new right-wing political, you know, reporter.
Well, there's, I mean, there's two aspects to it, isn't it?
There's on-screen persona and off-screen behaviour, right?
So I assume probably the weak delay is just to give you training in how to harass staff and bully people and be awful to people, right?
just so that you fit into the Fox News culture.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, okay, so that's what the cultural training.
Yes, that's right.
Oh, I see.
Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Okay, I'm so glad I'm talking to you about this
because I'm pretty nervous about it, you know,
like having obviously spent 15 years on stage
talking about veganism and being pretty left-leaning,
there's a lot of content out there for them to come at me and take me down.
So anything, any advice you have is how to make myself a little bit more red.
Well, remember Tucker Carlson started out writing for New York Times Magazine and things like that.
Like he, I mean, sure, he was a bit of a Nazi high school and during his university days.
But then he sort of, he had a lot of embarrassing things where he was just a bit, you know, not vegan style,
but, you know, that sort of left liberal journalistic culture that he had to sort of,
jettison the moment he got into Fox News.
But I think what I would do, if I were you, is really lean into the Second Amendment
as a starting point.
So first episode, probably be holding a machine gun or something like that as you go to air.
Some sort of assault rifle.
Yeah.
And just wave it around so that all the sort of camera people and crew get slightly scared
every time you start on another talking.
But maybe, no, maybe you should have a segment.
called bullet points, right? And every time you make another bullet point, you shoot the gun.
That is genius. Can I take that idea? Can you have to sell me that concept? You can have
that, yeah. No, that's a freebie. Brilliant. Yeah, okay. So you know what? Let's go one further.
Let's call the show bullet points with Randy Feldfaith. Yes. It's literally just me shooting
targets. Shooting target. This week, shooting like a cardboard cut out of Biden. He's running for
re-election, bang.
Yes.
This is my, oh my God, that's genius.
Yes, I love it.
And then the thing is, and I think the other thing is you've got to get straight out of
the way of the vegan stuff.
Like, you've got to jettison that whole persona right immediately by maybe having a vegan
as the first person you shoot by it.
Yeah, and then maybe a cow.
Oh, yeah, and just eating the cow.
You shoot the cow at the beginning of episode.
By the end of the episode, you're eating it.
And, well, that could be another segment.
Yeah, and I could actually shoot it.
Yeah, don't have a cow.
Don't have it. Or just have a cow.
Yeah, have a cow.
I could shoot it at the top of the segment and then have somebody, yeah, somebody can sort of, you know, work on it,
slaughtering it in the background.
I reckon that's a fact checking.
That's your fact checking segment and it should be called total bull, right?
And the expert, the person who's working out whether something's total bull or not bull, right,
then the way they work it out is they, oh, how would it work?
Maybe there's two cows.
You've got two cows.
There's two cows, one with the false statement, one with the truth that we want to push.
Yes, yes.
Maybe they're just written on the top of the cow or something like that on the side of the cow.
Yeah, yeah, like paint it on the cow.
Yes, yes.
And then you kill the woke cow.
Yes.
And you could do something like where, you know, like in each week.
And you could actually have another cow, which you also are going to kill, which is the sacred cows.
So like every time, you know, I don't know, treat people nicely or something like that.
And then you just kill the sacred cow.
That's perfect.
Yep, yep.
Okay, this is good.
I like this a lot.
I think we're really under something.
So bullet points with Randy Felface have a cow or total bull.
This is, we're really workshop on this.
Do you want to come on board as a co-producer?
I need this.
I think I should.
I think at this day.
The problem is I'm not very good at harassment.
I sort of tend to usually be the person who is harassed.
Oh, no, I'll be the harasser.
Yeah, okay, great.
I'll do the harassing.
Listen, listen, you're in total fucking podcasting piece of shit.
I'll do the harassment.
I'm already away.
We're going to make a good team, I reckon.
So can I ask, have you thought about how?
because you've got to also shit on a whole lot of different minorities, right?
Like, it's not just about racism in America.
It's also you've got to do, so you're going to have the sort of, you know, dog whispering
or, you know, like sort of dog whistling around racism,
but you also need some sort of angle on trans people and women.
You know, like there's lots of minorities.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So how are you going to do that?
Yeah.
That's hard.
That's pretty, I think that.
Look, I think that the path has been really well laid out for me.
There has been, so much, so much of that work has been,
that the ground work has been done.
Yes, I don't think it's too difficult for me to pick up the mantle of talking about,
you know, to pick up the mantle of transphobia and, and I guess,
my opposition to any options as far as reproductive health goes.
Yes, yes.
And just run with that.
It's really about how to make it through.
you know how to make it new and exciting how what's the you know and I think that that is what
is going to be most challenging for me because how do you top Tucker Carlson how do you one up
how do I how do I bring something in that's and obviously shooting a cow live on the air
pretty good start yes but it feels like it might get a tired after a few weeks you need you need
a few different types of cigarettes.
I'm really struggling because
Taka Kuzm is just so angry all the time.
It feels like you can't really
like you just looked angry.
Can you even look angry?
Can you actually do an angry expression?
Yeah, yeah.
And the benefit is that he and I both only have the one facial expression,
which is just sort of that sort of gaping mouth confusion
at the state of the world.
Yes.
I think I can pick that up pretty damn quick.
Okay.
But then how do we freshen up transphobia and abortion stuff?
I think that should be the byline of the podcast, just in general.
How do we freshen up transphobia?
I think if you just put that on where do we listen to this, wherever you get your podcast.
Because the problem with transphobia, of course, is that all the really great proponents of
transphobia, keep dying.
Like, we're going to run out of transphobes at this rate.
You think we're on the verge of running out?
I feel like I'm not sure that we're in danger of there being not enough transphobes.
If anything, we could get rid of a few more.
Could we do some sort of, like, I mean, is there a, is there some sort of,
sort of theatrical way to deal with transpho?
Like, is it something where you get a sort of, you know how in Australia, we've got
Q&A and stuff like that, where you invite a sort of broad representation, like the
hundred most, you know, different people with different opinions and then they all ask
questions, could you do that, but only with transphobes in the audience?
You just have a hundred transphobes.
And instead of Q&A, it would just be – because, you know, they don't really – they're not very inquisitive.
You just – I don't know, yeah.
And then you have one transgender person in the centre, and how would it work?
I don't know.
I'm not sure I want to finish that.
No, I don't want to either, yeah.
I think you've just wandered yourself into a creative cul-de-sac, and I just sat back, and I was just waiting.
Where is you going to go with 100 transphobes and one?
person who identifies as transgender.
A lot of the transgender, you know, entertainers are very, very entertaining.
It might actually be, maybe it's one of those win them over moments where, you know,
it's thumbs up or thumbs down, Roman Coliseum style.
I see.
What about, what about we combine all of it?
We put the trans folks in the audience and arm the transgender person.
with a semi-automatic rifle.
With a gun.
Yeah.
Yes.
And it's sort of tables are turned type thing.
Yeah.
And then it's really, uh...
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's your publicist thinking now?
My publicist has actually left the room.
Um, it's a vomit in the other room.
So I think we're in all sorts of strife there.
The Chaser report.
Less News.
Less often.
Okay, so it's called Bullet Points with Randy Felt Faze.
You've got a week.
Yeah, Bullet Points with Randy Felt Fis.
Coming to Fox News, prime time, nonstop, all the segments.
Obviously, I'm going to be shooting things.
Yeah.
That's first.
And we're going to keep it fresh every week with whichever subculture is being victimized.
We will come up with a creative and fresh way to publicly assassinate them.
If you do an oppressed minority a week, you've got years of material.
Absolutely, because, I mean, well, not just a press minority, but just generally, I mean, again, like this woke concept, like how many more things will get vacuumed in to being perceived as a threat, you know, by the liberal.
Yeah, I think there's a lot of places to go with this.
I'm just excited to take it out on the road next year.
I'll be, I'll do, I think I'm going to do a year on Fox News and then I'm just going to hit
the corporate speaking circuit, just fucking clean up.
Yeah, because what's Tucker going to do now?
Like, I was talking to Nick Bryant yesterday, who's this expert on America,
he's BBC guy who now lives in Australia.
And he was saying, whenever anyone leaves a platform like Fox, they kid themselves that they
actually weren't just the platform.
You know, like their whole fame was not formed from the platform.
And then they fail.
Like, Bill O'Reilly sort of just disappeared.
Like, it was the biggest thing on cable news,
and then he just disappeared the moment he lost his platform.
And his prediction was, oh, Tucker Carlson will just fade into obscurity fairly quickly.
I'm thinking Tucker Carlson, 2024, surely he's got to run for president.
I think so.
I think so, actually.
You think he's going to launch...
a campaign immediately, like, because he'd have to, he'd have to announce his candidacy, like, now.
Yeah, because you want to be at the peak of, well, he said that he's going to go back
and write for the Daily Caller, which is this far right website, and two of the articles
on the Daily Caller, within hours of him announcing that, were speculation that he was
going to run for president.
And that's his own fucking website.
Is he, did he lose his podcast as well, or just the, just his show?
because he had a, he launched it, he had a podcast running it simultaneously.
I don't know.
I mean, I noticed on Twitter, he, I'm not sure if he lost that.
He updated his Twitter to be his own website name, Taka Carlson.com.
I love that.
So, I love that.
I wonder how long until he starts selling supplements.
But he's, I mean, he's launching a litigation, he's launching a lawsuit immediately about his dismissal.
So that'll drag out his, um,
Yes, his profile.
Drag out his appearance.
Yeah, his profile.
He'll be in the news for a little bit longer because the lawyer.
And Don Lemon got canned as well, right?
Yes.
They both got the same lawyer, I believe.
That guy, what's his name, Brian Friedman, that lawyer to the stars.
And people don't know Don Lemon as well here as Tucker Carlson.
Can you explain what did he do wrong?
Oh, Lemon.
I actually, fascinatingly, I'm not 100% sure either.
I feel like that, I mean, Tucker Carlson was obviously,
I think it's just the fact that Lemon kind of came out and talked about,
was it aging, he was talking about women aging.
He was talking about how, yeah, I think he was just sort of.
That's a good topic for your Filtface show, for the, your Fox News show.
Women aging.
Women aging, they shouldn't.
More at nine.
Yeah, yeah.
But he's, I mean, that's the other side of the aisle in some respects with CNN.
I guess they're a little bit less box newsy, but he got canned from CNN because I think he just, yeah, I don't know.
I feel like he talked about women aging and he was sort of perceived to be.
And then he was rude to that Native American or like that guy.
One of one of the commentators who was sort of identifying as broadly, you know, non-white, and Donald Lemon went, well, actually, I'm an African-American, I'm black.
My experience as a black man trumps your experience as an indigenous American, also non-white man, and was very dismissive on air.
I miss that one.
I feel like everyone's just talking about the fact that he was a little.
little bit offensive around, um, you know, the longevity of, of women.
Yeah.
They call themselves eye candy and yet they start fading.
Yeah, I think a little bit of that.
But I find that, I, yeah, I'm not sure.
I think that that was back in February.
He made those comments.
So I'm not sure.
I think it's just interesting timing.
Yes.
Um, and the link really is that, that, um, Lemon and Tucker Carlson have both hired the
same lawyer to try to get them a massive settlement on,
the way out the door.
Maybe, can I just speculate here?
Yeah, if this is going to involve me shooting one of them on my new show, continue.
Well, maybe you could have them on the show, and each week the viewers have to vote on which
one you shoot.
Okay.
That segment would only last two weeks.
But, no, I'm speculating the Dream Team presidential ticket, Lemon Carlson, or Carlson Lemon, maybe,
2024 lemon is good lemon carlson sounds like a new flavor of some sort of beverage i want to get me a lemon carlson
they can be your sponsor for your show for your fox news show yes yes lemon carlons you because you need
to be into my pillows that's the that's the sponsor like if you're oh no i'd have to have i'd have
to do some sort of bud light promotion oh yes i'm going you know all of this if you've been following
the shenanigans with bud light
We haven't covered it on the podcast, but for listeners who don't know about it,
so Bud Light featured a transgender person for about five seconds or something on some Instagram post.
Yeah, it was just like a promotion.
They had a transgender influencer just basically saying how good is Bud Light.
And absolute uproar, absolute uproar to the point where they have like suspended a couple of executives from the company.
And Bud Light's sales have just, like, crashed.
Really?
Yeah, absolutely.
People are calling for a boycott of the brand.
And, yeah, it's amazing.
Because I would have thought it did more damage to the transgender community endorsing Bud Light.
That's a horrible beer.
Yeah, I know.
It's a terrible out of all of the beverages.
Yeah.
It just sort of wiped away any sense that transgender people have taste.
Right.
It's just ruined the reputation.
What's the equivalent in Australia?
Like, what would be the, I mean, what are we talking like some sort of, what's the shittiest beer?
What's the shittiest beer in Australia?
What could possibly compare for people who are not following this story back in Australia?
Who could come out and drink a beverage?
Well, it would be 4x, wouldn't it?
4x gold or something.
Yeah.
Probably.
Is it a beloved?
Yeah, particularly in Queensland.
Oh my God, can you imagine?
Yes.
The uproar.
It'd be 4X gold.
All right, that is your mission.
That is now I'm handing you the gauntlet,
that you need to get someone to an influencer in Australia to do a 4X promotion.
Yes.
Not authorised by 4X, but just do it to get rid of 4X.
I once auditioned to direct a 4X gold commercial.
this is many, many years ago.
And the casting process was hilarious, right?
Because they didn't want to say,
we only want white men in the ad.
But the casting process resolved.
I mean, this was before I was brought.
Like, I didn't get the gig.
But it was amazing how they just all turned out to be white men.
What are the odds?
I know.
It was amazing.
And there's no women at all.
Because they bought an island.
the 4x island, right?
And it was sort of like, oh, it's like the dream utopia of, you know, where instead of water
there's 4X or whatever.
But it was just white men.
It was like, that's not a utopia.
In no universe is, oh, wow, there's a desert island.
Let's stack it out with Ocker, Aussie males in their 20s and 30s.
Like, that's dystopia.
Yeah, let's bomb that island, I think, is to take home from that.
It's just a nuclear testing on that island.
They'll be your core demographic when you do your Fox News audience.
It'll be white, aggrieved men in their 20s and 30s, won't it?
Yeah, and I have to figure out the quickest way to radicalise them.
That's my mission now.
How do I radicalise my audience?
What you should do is you should pretend that you're doing sort of talking points from far right sort of, I don't know, thinkers like Jordan Peterson,
but actually slip in a bit of Marx or Simone de Bill.
Louvoire or, you know, foundational, you know, Catherine McKinnon, like, foundational feminists.
I love that idea.
Yeah.
Maybe I could start, yeah, because you've got to bring them down from the inside, right?
Yes, exactly.
This is now the play.
Yes.
I'm going to, I'm going to subtly start leaning people towards the left.
Yes.
Because that's how that, I mean, that's pretty much how that whole network works, right?
Misinformation.
Yes.
in a confident way
and pitched with anger
no matter what it is
that message will cut through
okay great and suddenly you'll get people
going yeah I'm angry about the lack of equality
between men and women
women should actually earn 100% of
a man's wage
absolutely I think I can get there
I think I can turn around
these restrictions on abortion
first up straight away
that'll be easy
yep well I think it's because
how would you do
that you just trick them.
You just trick them into thinking that it's a further restriction on women
to be able to choose to have an abortion.
Yeah, you have to pitch it in a way that...
It's still hateful.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's just hateful, but that it's in, yeah,
somehow spin abortion into an issue which is good for white middle America.
Yeah, yeah, okay, cool.
And we'll just do that with everything.
Probably, yeah, probably just play on the mistress angle for that one.
I'm not sure.
But we'll figure it out.
Yeah.
Well, especially all the religious pastors who are, you know, the far-right religious pastors
who are pushing all these laws, they would all have mistresses.
And I think around about now, they'd be going, oh, this is a bit of a problem.
Yes.
And I'm also sponsored by a far-right religious pastor restaurant as well, the other kind of pastor.
Yeah, right.
So it's an Italian restaurant staffed purely with priests.
It's called Pastor Pastor, and they are my key sponsor, along with Forex.
That's great.
You're going to, you're going to, you're going to, the Murdox are going to love you.
I've got to say, if we walk away from nothing, with nothing from this conversation,
if we walk away from nothing else other than Pastor Pastor, then I feel like this whole conversation has been worth it.
Yes, and instead of unlimited breadsticks, which is what you get at the other pastor shop, Olive Garden,
you could have unlimited, unlimited communion wafers.
Oh, they're so, they're so filling.
Those you don't fill up on wafers.
Yes.
Oh, I'd love a second round of pizza, but I'm full of the body of Christ.
Yes, exactly.
Oh, and all your water.
Would you like water?
And it just instantly turns into wine as they pour it out.
Oh.
I love that.
Tell me that that would not be a success.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sorry, officer, I've had too many blood of Christ.
Oh, I haven't had anything to drink, but I've got a whole lot of blood of Christ in my body.
Yeah, so much blood of Christ.
Okay, we've got to sort it out.
Okay, good.
Productive chat.
Well, now, Randy, you're on a world tour.
You're in America at the moment.
When are you coming to Australia?
Oh, my gosh.
I'm going to be there in all of July and August.
I start my little tour through Australia, New Zealand, July August, the Feltopia tour.
Right.
I'll be like everywhere, every capital city except Darwin.
So to get tickets, and you should probably book soon, because I'm sure it'll all be sold out,
but feltface.com is where you get the tickets and the tour details for the Australian tour.
Randy Feltface, thank you so much for joining us, and congratulations on your new gig.
Thank you so much.
What a pleasure.
And I look forward to talking to you again.
And also just put the link in the bio for that giveaway for the free meal at Pasta Pasta.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, absolutely, yes.
Get everybody on board that.
Our gurus from Road, we are part of the Iconocles Network.
We'll catch you tomorrow.
