The Chaser Report - We're Doing Two Episodes A Day!

Episode Date: November 7, 2021

In today’s morning edition, Aleksa explains why global shipping has come to an inconvenient halt ahead of Christmas, Dom struggles to cope with the latest phase of NSW's reopening, and Charles sleeps throughout the entire weekend.And – we're changing the format! From today, we're moving our guest interviews to a new afternoon edition – meaning shorter, newsier updates from our team every weekday morning, and longer chats with our guests in time for your commute home. So – this afternoon, Zander and Dom will interview political commentator Sean Kelly about his new book on Scott Morrison, The Game. As with all afternoon editions, it’ll be a stand-alone interview you can dive into any time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chase of Report. Following intense scrutiny from within the Liberal Party over his handling of Tim Smith's drunken car crash, Matthew Guy has been removed as Victorian opposition leader. According to sources within the party, Tim Smith has been tipped as his replacement to take the wheel and drive the party forward directly into a fence. The Prime Minister's office has told reporters that the PM plans to begin focusing on campaigning and boosting his public image in preparation for the upcoming election. The news left many around the country wondering at exactly what point during the last three years

that has not been Scott Morrison's focus. Peter Dutton and Josh Frydenberg have both also begun preparing for the upcoming elections and are now focused on doing the numbers against Morrison. The nation's anti-vaxxers gathered around the country yesterday for major protests against vaccine mandates. The furious fact-sceptics tightly packed the streets and chanted that it was their bodies, their choice. The nation's morticians are now preparing to receive some of their bodies, their choice. I'm Rebecca Daynamuno, and these headlines are now the first thing you'll hear in each morning's podcast. Let's be honest, listening on is strictly optional at the time.

this point. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.ca.

Today's Chaser Report is sponsored by Zoom weddings. At last, you can participate in your family and friends' most special day without getting out of your pyjamas. Just make sure that you don't invite that risky uncle who's going to say a thing or do it is speech, beach, beach, beach, beach, to the bright and... Hello and welcome to the Chaser Report. It is Monday the 8th of November 2021. I'm Dom Knight. Hello, Charles Firth. Hello, did you have a good weekend? Oh, except for the rain and the depending sense of dread as the city prepares to welcome back

international arrivals with no restrictions yeah no I'm feeling like Gabby by the way can't join us because her neighbour has been jackhammering for the whole of today won't they think of the podcasters Charles and you know I think it's pretty much illegal to Jack Hammer on a Sunday not that we're recording on a Sunday this is obviously recorded on Monday morning yes and she was so tired yesterday that when we

our normal record time of 3am on Monday morning she couldn't make that's what happened That's right. But I would say we had our neighbours jackhammered all last Sunday, but they were really polite about us. And I think that's all you require when you're a neighbour is just like, do you mind if we jackhammer on a Sunday? And it's like, well, no, now that you've asked, I'm too embarrassed to say. Yeah, and just drop off a bottle of really cheap white wine so that there's jack hammering inside the head, whether or not you're actually jackhammering next door. You know what I did, though, on the weekend.

I had the greatest weekend of my life. Really? Which is, we got rid of the kids. Oh. It was my 23rd anniversary with my partner, my lovely partner, Amanda. And we got rid of the kids on Friday and sent them off with their grandparents. So we had a nice night on Friday night. Not actually too ragey, but, you know, had a nice bottle of wine and a can't just hear yourself think.

Then, so Saturday arrives, we get up and we go and have a nice thing in the cafe. And then it gets to about 10.30 in the morning. And I just go, you know, I'm going to go back to bed. And I sleep through until about 2 p.m. Oh, my God. And then we get up and we go and have a nice little Indonesian, just local Indonesian place. Get home at about 3.30. And I just go, you know, I think I just need three more hours of sleep.

So I slept again until 6.30. And then the same thing on Sunday. I literally slept the whole time. And you just realize, I have gone 13 years being bugged by somebody to take them to cricket or swimming or, you know, the beach or whatever. My natural state is just... I've got 13 years of sleep deficit to make up and I did it this last weekend.

I'm so jealous of you because honestly the most glamorous and exciting thing I can think of to do right now is sleep. I had about four hours last night for various reasons. None of them interesting or exciting. It's just the greatest thing we could possibly do and this is all the work and technology

and all the things that we've built and developed over the years. We're getting less sleep. What's wrong with us? idiots and so Charles I think the answer is clear boarding school yes oh what a good idea especially for the younger one who's more emotionally needy because I used to think oh brutal it'd be so harsh oh three and a half I think it from four she'd be able to I used to think to myself these stories of people like loading their kids onto planes to go to boarding schools in other countries that was cruel and horrible but now that

sounds it'll make them tough you do it no it's character building it's like a a, what's a pestle and mortar, yeah. It's like a, yeah. Things that you hit things with. And I mean, admittedly they'll be, as a result, they probably will never forgive us and have emotionally stunted relationships with us. But that's worth it.

Probably means that they would want to talk to you less. Get more time for sleep. Coming up on the show, I have no idea because I've been asleep all weekend. Do we have anything? Do we have anything for this show? Today, Alex is going to join us to look at the global shipping crisis. Apparently, nothing can be.

be shipped anywhere because there's a shortage of containers and it may yet ruin Christmas. Charles, we have a big announcement today. Oh, yes, that's right. Which is that we have an afternoon edition from today. We're going to be doing two a day. One short and topical, well, this hasn't been that. But from now, the morning ones will be about 15 to 20 minutes. And then we'll do an afternoon one, which is just the chat with the guests.

We'll run it longer. And it will be a lovely afternoon treat, kind of like a breakfast and a drive radio show. And I think this afternoon we're talking to Sean Kelly, aren't we? We are. He's just written this great new book about. Scott Morrison called The Game. Spoiler alert, not entirely complimentary with the Prime Minister, but it's going to be great getting stuck into all things Scott Morrison with Sean. That's going to drop this afternoon. So watch for it in your feed then. Have a good sleep, Charles. I will. Good night.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. Fizz is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions of Apply. Details at fizz.com. Today's Chaser report is sponsored by Zoom Weddings. Remember kids, if you get the framing just right, nobody has to see the shotgun.

But they'll know it's there. Alex is in for another dive into some dark corner of the news. What is it today, Alexa? It's terrifying. This dark corner actually dived into me. I had no idea what was happening. I've been spending a lot of times going through TikTok and I've noticed a pretty freaky trend

in the videos that the algorithm feeds me. Ah, welcome. Yeah, it's weird. Did you get Gabby's TikToks? Oh, fair enough. That's a dark, deep hole. No, this one's even scarier than Gabby's TikTok. It started really slowly,

but now every video on my TikTok looks like this. Give me my fucking money now, Ben. Give me my money. Give me my fucking money and my drinks. And they keep the money. So what's happening there? Did Quentin Tarantino join TikTok? Have you found Jail Talk?

No, no, no. This woman is screaming at a barista in a coffee shop. Oh, no. Because they were out of certain toppings. And, like, at first I thought the algorithm was just sending me stuff that I enjoyed because I do find this pretty exciting. Well, because you know how it chooses what to serve you? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

It's how long you linger on any given TikTok. Oh, I watch these 15 times in a row. I watched this 30 times just to make this clip for the podcast. But I talk to my friends and they get these same shopping center freakouts And they're getting more and more common And I'd start to do a bit of research And it turns out it's not just my TikTok I think the US is broken

Right Well we knew that but in what new way Yeah yeah not in terms of like racial violence or healthcare or anything I mean like the most vital part of America That you know makes it function It makes all this violence and exploitation tolerable They can't get their treats anymore Consumption is destroyed

It's no longer convenient What's happened? There's not enough shipping containers in the world, or at least like they're not in the right places. What? Yeah, so there's just like a massive global shipping crisis. There's like thousands of boats waiting at port. They can't unload their shipping containers

because the port's full and the trucks can't take the shipping containers from the port because the warehouse is full. At the end of the line, this woman can't get her coffee toppings. So everything's raining air supply because somebody forgot to order enough shipping containers to be able to put things in, to ship them across. Yeah, I think it was kind of on purpose. Like, we never had enough shipping containers

because everything was done in, like, just in time supply chains. Oh, yes, that's right. So they invented the just in time which is a great breakthrough that I studied at one point. Oh, there you go. So clever, but actually it was a really stupid idea.

That's why we ran out of, like, masks in Australia during the bushfires. Yeah. Because, like, let's not have any in stockpiles. Let's just order them at the last minute. When things are in stockpiles, they're a waste of money because all of that storage could be going

towards money for shareholders you know but yeah that was COVID kind of triggered it because um you know we were sending all this PPE around the world and to all these like third world countries but usually we'd only send shipping containers back when we could fill them with other consumer goods and things but in all these other countries it took a lot longer to fill these shipping containers so we just didn't have enough in the right places it causes horrible bottleneck and i mean it's not just consumer goods it's kind of sad stuff like there's not there's foods rotting in certain places there isn't enough medical gear. Well, in Britain, it's true.

They can't get things over from Europe, even though it's a very small amount of water, it's still enough to confound the whole system. Well, and I saw that Heinz has actually, because everyone's getting worried that they're not going to be able to have their Christmas dinner. Exactly. And so Heinz yesterday, this is honestly true. They released Christmas dinner in a can in Britain,

which is like turkey and... I'd rather fucking starve. Cranberry sauce and potatoes all in a can. I think that is the most important part of this crisis or as long as you're reading the news I mean all these articles you've got what is the great shipping container shortage and could it ruin your Christmas ABC News

why Christmas could be stuck in a shipping container of BBC Global Crisis is your Christmas shopping list in trouble that's Yahoo Finance Christmas is the main issue here So is this going to spread to Australia Like is this or what? We had a taste of it We remember that period where you couldn't get anything from the States for like a month or two just during the lockdown?

Yeah, that was. what that was. But I just don't... It took ages to get my dick pump. Isn't it extraordinary that it's worked up to this point? Because if you sat down and said, well, every product you order

is going to be produced on the other side of the world and shipped in a process that takes many months and used lots of petrol and giant hunks of metal, you would think that's a really stupid idea. Just make it next door. How have we not fucked up before now?

See, I like to think of myself as a bit of a pioneer in this shipping stuff up space. Because I had a whole problem with shipping out. I got toilet paper printed last year, remember? Yeah, you were the first person to fuck up on a global logistics. And I fucked up the logistics and arrived really late and it was a complete disaster. And I feel like I was the first and then everyone else followed me and my, you know,

because I was doing it just in time. It arrived just in time to miss Christmas. I feel like your toilet paper, with pictures of politicians and out-of-date headline jokes. That was the piece in the Jenga puzzle. Yes. There's starvation around the planet because Firth wanted to put Scott Morrison's face on toilet paper.

Yeah, there are work health safety videos that just feature Charles's face. Actually, that's true for other reasons. Oh, yeah, true. Sorry, I forgot about the amputations he caused. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. can't take being on hold anymore

FIS is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes mobile plans start at $15 a month certain conditions apply details at fizz.ca The Chaser Report is sponsored by Zoom Weddings where it's fine apparently for a couple to ask

you to watch them kiss over Zoom but you ask for anything more and suddenly that's weird? Like what? No, it's a double standard I'm bringing attention to the double stent. Ah, what do you mean? No, it's not weird.

Jeez Louise. Just before we go, Charles, today is a momentous day in New South Wales. As we said, the start of the show, pretty much no restrictions for the doubly vaccinated now in this state. It's bizarre. Yes, and I disapprove of that. I think we should go the W-A route

and only loosen restrictions once 100. 80% to be vaccinated. I think anything less than that is full hearty. No limit on visitors

to your house. I mean, those very words, I feel traumatised by Charles. And outdoors, no limit. They can have a

massive rave party. I don't want to do that. That sounds horrible. No, yes. Is there any limit on how many hours

a day you can sleep? There's not. Nightclubs are back. You can dance again. I don't want to do that. You can go to the theatre with full

capacity. It's not on your life. No. But basically pretty much normal life has resumed as of today in New South Wales for those doubly vaccinated. I wish I was unvaccinated. I wish I could have an excuse to just stay at home and not see anyone. You're going to become an anti-vexer?

Is it going to be your... I've just had my third shot, so I'm not really doing a great job. But I'm just not ready. I'm just not ready for normal with normal plus COVID, which is not normal. How long do you reckon is going to last? I reckon because every other country in the world that's gone through this lovely honeymoon phase now finds itself with soaring cases. I notice Germany is now up to 35,000 cases a day,

even though they've got it really under control of vaccination. Charles, we don't look at cases. We don't look at that. No, those numbers are... We look at hospitalisations. So how long? I reckon, yeah, because you have waning immunity after five months. Christmas is going to...

There'll be no Christmas. Christmas is going to be a wash. That's my guess. Oh, really? Gosh, you are. Well, you're optimistic. You've got to assume. You're hoping.

You're hoping... Hasn't it been the case, though, that for the past couple of years, even including before COVID, things were just crap. Like, that's just the way things, like the bushfires, the floods, there were locusts. Just assume crapness and you won't be wrong. So Christmas is going to suck. It'll be horrible. Well, fingers crossed.

Fingers crossed, I won't be able to invite you around for Christmas drinks, Don. Were you going to? No, I was actually, even though there's no restrictions. There's no excuse on the limits, you know, like there's one less excuse. I don't know what to do. Can we just organise a super spender event, just the two of us and, you know? Yes, good idea. Shut the state down again.

again. It was a better life. It should be like an anti-vex-a-relli. That's the way to go. It was a simpler life with everything closed down, and I want it back. Thank you very much. Our gears from rode microphones, we're part of the ACAST Creator Network. And don't forget, the afternoon edition, the first one will drop with Sean Kelly early in the afternoon. Look for that in your feed. See ya.