The Chaser Report - What Is Raw Dogging A Flight? | Andrew Hansen

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

Andrew Hansen is back to explain to Dom the weird new trend on TikTok where men are "raw dogging" flights. No, it's not as NSFW as the title sounds. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to the Chaser Report. I'm so pleased to say that we once again have Mr Andrew Hanson live from Australia's biggest city, Melbourne. Andrew, hello. Hooray, it's a huge privilege to be talking to our little brothers there in Sydney, the cute little second city of Australia as we like to think of it. That's right.

The little city that once could And now apparently can't Yeah, how are you going there In your funny little town? Not bad, yeah It's up and feeling like everyone knows Everyone else in this city And we're all neighbours

And yeah It's kind of sweet Quite quaint To live in a small place like that Oh gosh people don't mind Their own business though In this town Oh, town gossips are there

There's one, so once One person shake someone else Everyone knows all about Oh, everybody knows Of course they want it is Not like the lovely anonymous metropolis that I live in here in the city of Melbourne. Cosmopolitan.

Oh, look. It's, you know, it's the Shanghai of Australia really here. I just booked a trip to Melbourne. I'm going to go down in October. Oh, to the big spend for ages. I know. I'm worried. It's not like your quiet, sleepy little village.

I'm worried it will be intimidated by the big fancy people in the big city. Yeah, yeah, you'll be bemused by the hustle and bustle here, don't eat, and oh, it never stops. Tall buildings. In fact, Melbourne does have much taller buildings in Sydney. I read an article about it the other day. Well, it does. It does.

Very poorly built, yes. I did read the other day that Victoria has the weakest department standards of any state. And I think maybe that's why the buildings are so tall. That's right. They don't have to really match many standards. And they can just keep building them up and over and up. So I'm looking forward to heading back down. I'm going to wrap my belongings in an anchorchief and put a stick and sort of put it over my shoulder.

That's the way I travel. It'd be like the country mouse and the city mouse, dummy. I'll show you the wonders of the city. That would be great. Now, look, speaking of travel and air travel, you've got a story for us today. Look, I have discovered a TikTok trend, and that's big for me because I'm too old to know about TikTok trends. And, of course, I discovered it because I'm, you know, in my fuddy-duddy old-fashioned way,

I like to get information from hilariously outdated, reliable sources like the BBC and So I noticed, yeah, there's a, there is a worrying trend, as all TikTok trends are. They're all worrying. This worrying trend is called raw dogging. And I think we do need to explore it on the podcast because there's a big oversight. Let's get into it in a second. When I first heard this term raw dogging, Andrew, it sounds sort of sexual. It sounds unprotected.

It sounds a little bit dangerous, if you don't mind me saying so. Well, look, what I read, Dommy, is that it's mostly practiced by men. And I had the opposite take of you. I was surprised. I thought with such a dainty and feminine name as raw dogging, I thought it would be really appealing to young women. Exactly, or the Country Women's Association. I wondered if it was something to do with them,

that they all gathered around for a good session of raw dogging over there. Is that when you bake scones and you leave them a little bit undercooked? Is that what it is, slightly undercooked scorn? No, I'll tell you what it, look, for the uninitiated, who like me before, I, you know, read my old-fashioned articles about it. There's a TikTok thing where when people get on a flight, especially a long flight,

it's seen as a, it's a challenge, it's a test of your stamina to see whether you can go through the whole flight with no frills and no enjoyment whatsoever. No frills and no enjoyment. Take a photo. You've got to take a photo of yourself sitting there and you're not allowed to use the in-flight entertainment.

You're not allowed to eat or drink and you're not allowed to use the toilet. You have to sit in your seat. to sit in your seat for the entire flight, no matter how long that flight may be. And there's a famous sports person who photographed himself doing this, which I think made it, was one reason it sort of took off. It's rumoured that it might have originated from a Seinfeld plot line where one of Elaine's boyfriends likes to sit on an aeroplane and not use the entertainment.

But anyway, that's the challenge. You've got to just sit on your flight and do nothing. and record the experience. But it got me thinking, Dommy, I don't think it's difficult enough. I just don't think that is tough enough for challenge. No. And Andrew, we're of a certain age now. We're middle-aged gentleman now, you know, despite the frivolity of our work. And we were alive in the 80s.

And isn't this just what air travel was like in the 80s? Admittedly, you could use a toilet. But I remember going on my first flight ever anywhere, which was to London from Sydney. And there was absolutely nothing to do for the... entire period. I think I listened to the audio. There was one audio channel for kids that lasted about half an hour. And I listened to it fully 30 times over, I think, by the time we got there. And I reckon that is far worse than any raw do today. It would be any form of children's entertainment. It would be much more punishing, much more

punishing than raw dogging. No, absolutely. Well, it's right. It does hark back to that era. Although, as you say, you know, we at least were permitted to use the toilet. Yes, that's a little extreme, I feel. Well, no, I feel it doesn't go far enough. I really think it's too easy. I mean, this is is a test of your masculinity, Ryan. That's what this raw-dogging trend is. It's a test of your strength and you're supposed to boast about it on social media.

I think why not introduce some extra elements of hardship to the flight? Oh, yeah. Like, I would suggest you have to stand, not sit, like you do on a crowded bus. Wow. You know, I mean, some commuters, we stand. stand on a crowded bus or train. I'd say to stand in the aisle would be one thing. Or maybe even like two to a seat.

I mean, why enjoy the entire seat to yourself? Perhaps you and your friend should squeeze together in the one seat. Squash dogging. Squash dogging. I want to see some squash dog going on in the farm. You make me think, I mean, the last time I caught a flight, I actually had to get up constantly because I was with my two children and my wife. It was late at night and she had the kids.

And I needed to sort of get up and fetch things. and they were always, you know, they didn't let us board early, so our million bags were in about 10 different lockers, so I had to just get up constantly and get different things that people wanted from different bags. You're one of those families, right? Yeah, and so what happened as a result was that every second I got up, the flight attendants, they seemed then at that exact second

to be serving drinks with a trolley. And I reckon it's far harder to have to constantly go, oh, sorry, excuse me, and stand sideways while the trolley brushes past you and feel like a massive dick constantly, rather than just sitting there, standing up much harder. That is harder, and you're so right about the trolley. I mean, you know, I'd be impressed if I saw a guy trolley dogging.

Trolley, like where you have to stand and slowly move behind the trolley. Especially if you need to do a huge poo. That's when the trolley's always out, isn't it? And it's always at the moment you have to sort of shuffle along behind the trolley waiting for the various passengers to water their wild turkey. Yes. Why is it on flights that that's where people drink wild turkey? I've never seen anyone of my...

live drink a wild turkey and yet for some reason on an aeroplane, everybody orders one of those things. Amazing. Yeah. So there's also the moment where the trolleys come from each direction. That's always, I don't even know how that works. How can trolleys come simultaneously? But they do.

It's like chicken. Have you ever seen it happen? I've never seen the two trolleys pass each other. I don't know. It's like a circus trick. It's like some sort of a magician's trick. It's extraordinary. So that would make things harder.

The other thing is, I think, I once had an experience, the one time I flew. Philippine Airlines to the Philippines. It was an extraordinary experience. It was with a whole group of friends. Yeah, yeah. They had just gotten some new planes, and this was back in the days when there wasn't seatback entertainment. There was one screen for everybody.

So they had these very clever TVs that retracted in the ceiling. I think they just got... I think I caught a flight the other day that had that. Oh, yeah. There you know. So that was all that they had. I think it was a Qantas. All right.

Well, this is what happened. It wasn't flat screen TVs. It was sort of CRT TVs. And they just got this new. plane. I think it was $50 cheaper for the Philippine Airlines flight, so we left 16 hours late. And then we're finally on the plane. And what happened was they showed the movie, they started the movie, and then 10 minutes into the movie, the TV's retracted and broke for about 20 minutes. And then they finally got it to work again. And it started again from the start,

and then 10 minutes in, it retracted again. And this happened the entire way to Manila. It's about 10 hours. I can't remember the movie. It wasn't. It wasn't a good movie. It was... It was... I don't know. Dumb and Dumber or something. It was...

Or some rom-com, some lame rom-com from the late 90s. And every time... Yeah, 10 minutes in... Oh God, it's retracted again. So I reckon that's far worse than no entertainment because he couldn't...

I had the soundtrack going over the PA. You couldn't possibly avoid it. Oh, you couldn't avoid it. Oh, you must... How do you not remember what the movie was, Dumb? You must have seen the first 10 minutes of that film at least 12 times.

Therapy. It may have been... Oh, I see. It might have been half-decent. It might have been the Princess Bride or something where you really wanted, you really enjoyed the first 10 minutes, but then it just each time it got progressively less funny until you couldn't bear it at him. Well, see, that's a trend that I think would be a more manly challenge for TikTok.

It would be loop-dogging where you have to watch the entertainment, but you're only allowed to watch the first five minutes of the film, and then you have to watch it again. The first five minutes over and over for the entire flight. And I think that would be a tough challenge. What would the movie be that you'd subject people to over over again? It should be a dreary film, shouldn't it? Yes.

Subject them to, you know. Oh, like the notebook or something. Well, yeah, or some Warren Beatty movie from the 1980s or something. Waterworld, perhaps. Maybe the first five of Waterworld. Subject them to that over and over again. Yeah. Or you've got mail.

Yes, there's a good one. There's a good one. Yeah. It's the you've got male dogging. Meg doggy Yeah All right So that's pretty

That's pretty good What else You're not allowed to eat anything And or drink anything So you get pretty dehydrated You do This is why it's considered dangerous Because you know

People think all you need to hydrate On a flight And also holding on From going to the toilet It's probably not very good for you But you know You know what'd be worse for you Andrew

Would be consuming wheat bicks Raw wheatpicks Raw doging Yes You know that thing you do as a kid when you just bite into a raw wetbicks and your mouth goes as dry as anything? I'd like to see that, yeah, that maybe it's a wheatbicks-based challenge. Where you've got to watch, you've got mail, but only the first five minutes with your mouth full of wheatbicks for the full fly.

The other problem is that the challenge ends at the end of the flight. I mean, if you really wanted a challenge, it should be, you know, it should be raw holidaying. So I think you should book yourself of a holiday for, say, three weeks. And then when you arrive, you have to sit in a chair in your hotel. room doing nothing and staring at the wall for the whole three weeks. Wow. Like raw vacationing. Yeah, so you can't leave the room.

You certainly can't go to the toilet, I presume. No, I think no toilet and no food and drink. I mean, you know, you want somebody to be impressed with you on TikTok. You've got to push the challenge. That's true. You've got to go. And also, you're raw talking, but you're filming it for TikTok at the same time. So you are using a phone at the very least.

That's true. That's a form of entertainment. You're posting. Yeah. Yeah, that's the ultimate raw dogging, isn't it? It's not even to post the challenge and not tell anybody that you did it. Just do it. And just know, you just know deep down in your heart that you raw dogged. That's very tough.

As is, I mean, I think small talk should potentially be part of the challenge because there's nothing worse on a flight. Like you're raw dogging, at least you sort of self-contained. It's having to sit next to an incredibly tedious neighbour who wants to chat. Oh, that'll be great and they tell you about their work. Or next to the parent. I mean, baby dogging. Oh, yes.

Like if you're next to the baby, the crying baby, you know, who vomits and crying, crawling all over you while you're trying to have a snooze, perhaps. So you can't do a shit, but the baby certainly does while on you. Yes. Yes, yes. And one of those babies where the parents do the nappy change on the tray table. Yes, on the tray table.

We've all seen it. Not going to comment on whether I've done it, but yes. That's pretty raw. It doesn't get much rorer than changing a nappy. No. Perhaps that's a bit of diarrhea. I mean, this is perhaps how you could push the thing where you're not allowed to go to the toilet. Maybe you can go to the toilet, but you've got to change yourself on the tray table

after you've done it. And you get on the plane with an adult nappy. Then you change yourself on the tray table halfway through the flight. This is a challenge. I think that's getting really tough. That's getting very tough. And you get so many shares, so many likes or whatever. How does TikTok work?

I don't know. What's it got likes or something? Let me look it up, and I'll come back to you after this lad. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens. Okay, so, yeah, no, I think it's hearts, there's likes of some kind. Yeah, right. It's not harder. I mean, just saying no to everything's fine, but what if you had to be the opposite?

Or if you had to say yes to everything? So every time they offered you something, you had to say yes, more drinks, more drinks. I mean, surely what David Boone did on that flight, We had the 63B years or whatever it was. It's far harder than any raw dog. You've got to say yes to seconds of the disgusting dessert, little Blamondi dessert that they give you. You've got to finish your neighbours off.

Well, sorry, Dommy, but which airlines have you flown where they actually ask you if you want something else? I mean, are you flying first class on, you know, the King Charles' own private aeroplane? No, I'm thinking more of, you know, the middle of the night that they sort of put out There's a little sad packets of dried peanuts or stuff. Yes, or maybe you have to ask.

Is that the thing? Oh, that could be it. It's ask-dogging. You have to ask and ask and ask for more and more and more. You're not allowed to stop asking. You've got to keep pressing the call symbol. Can you imagine that? That would be much harder.

It would be much more awkward than raw dogging. I think so. And no sooner have you finished that packet of dried fruits or whatever awful thing they give you, you've got to ask for another one. Yes. You've got to just keep the snout. next coming pretzels, whatever it might be.

Yep, that's, that's, you've got to actually use all the items that they give you the little, little mask and the, and the vomit bag, and you've got to find a use. So you're just constantly doing stuff, having to entertain yourself without the entertainment system. That, that I think is the thing. You can't just watch movies, that's cheating, unless it's the first five minutes. No, of course not. No, no, no.

But I think, I think we're on to something there, you know, yes. You know, what are we calling it? Ask dogging, full dogging. Well, what's the opposite of raw, I suppose, cooked, cooked dogging. Dogging, yeah, yeah, like that could be, but no, I must say this isn't, this is an idea that I think people should, um, adopt in other areas of life too. I mean, it's, it's fine for a plane. But what about if on a first date, you sat there, you didn't order anything, you didn't drink anything, you didn't get out of your chair.

Maybe didn't speak either, just stared, just stared, mootling your way through the date. Yeah, just glaring at the other person. If you get a second date under those circumstances, be doing very, very well. Well, you might. It might be better than talk. I mean, you know, I'm sure a lot of people have been on dates where they probably would have preferred had the person never opened their mouth. But I love the, I love the social awkwardness of just going to a restaurant and just not ordering

a thing. And not speaking when spoken to. Just sitting there. You could roar dog your way through a job interview too, I think. Yes. I think, you know, just turn up, say nothing, just sit there, stare at them. Wait, wait for the, wait for the boss to give you the information. What would you bring to this job?

literally nothing. That's great. What if you did it? You tell me. In a court case. You'd be a question on the dock. That's extreme raw dogging. Oh, yes.

When you've sworn an oath to answer the questions and you absolutely. I can respect that raw dogging. Yeah, I can see, you know, perhaps a psychiatrist, raw dogging their way through a session with a patient. Just sit there and say nothing, the entire hour long, say nothing to the client and see how they take it. I mean, it might be good. for them. They could vent. They wouldn't get interrupted. Well, most of them don't want to be

interrupted anyway. Most people probably just want to talk about their thing without having to have their stream of consciousness interrupts. I guess. I think I, I think possibly the most extreme version of this. And one that I think we need to get on board with is a raw dog podcast where the theme music plays and nothing is said. And there's a silent podcast. After that point. Why do we make that tomorrow's episode? I think that. The war dog episode of the Chaser report. That would be an amazing piece of content. And it should be as long as a flight.

It should be like, you know, seven or eight hours of silence. Why don't we just put a little bit of audio? Our gear is from road at the end. We'll just put a little bit of audio in there and someone's got to find it and I'll tell you what, we'll give you, I don't know, some sort of crappy Chaser prize. If you email, first person to email podcast at chaser.com. With the time code with the one thing that's said in the raw dog episode of the Chaser report. What are not the ratings will be like?

I think they'll be off the chance. I think they'll be much better. The raw dog, I mean, raw dogging is in. It's a very popular thing at the moment, Domi. People could listen. You could get on a flight and listen to the raw dog podcast episode on the flight, if you like. All right.

So I think 10 hours long. Maybe 10 hours. Put some audio. Yeah, because the last flight I was on was 10 hours long. We'll do that. Put a little bit of audio there somewhere and you've got to email the time code to podcast at chaser.com. You don't cheat. Don't skip forward.

Don't look at it. it into an audio app, listen properly. Don't cheat. You're not allowed to skip. You've got a raw dog properly. In fact, like if you're really tough, you will submit along with your submission. You'll submit a video of yourself that goes for the full 10 hours. You're sitting there with you.

That's fantastic. Listening. And we'll check it. That'll really make it legit. If someone does that, what do they get? I think they probably deserve more than we can access. I don't know. We'll give us something good.

Well, look, surely, that's worth a bit. I mean, that's worth whatever, I don't know what Charles Firth has in the Chaser vault these days. He runs it. He can produce some sort of prize, couldn't he? Yep, yep. If someone bothers to do that. A few back issues of the Chasers annual. A full 10 hours.

Can we give away lunch with Charles Firth? It can't be a booby problem. That's a cruel prize. Yeah, okay. Well, look, let's see how we go with this. Podcast at Chaser.com. The video is the big thing to add for. But if you can't do that, then just, just, no.

mention what the Find the time code. Find the time code. And that gets us out of doing an episode for tomorrow, which I just, you know, that's fine. Well, not really. I'm going to be working very hard,

Dommy, on that 10 hours of silence. We have to record it. We've got to record it in real time. Yes, we've got to record the silence. That's going to take a long time for us to do. We wouldn't cheat it, you know. No, no. I'm going to sit here and make sure that there's no sound for 10 hours.

Imagine how long it will take to download the audio. You know what, though, the best thing about that is that it's longer than Chaz's podcast. Yeah. Chaz's three-hour log and Pep podcast. And probably more understandable. I must say. I think also, if you get through a whole episode of

PEP with Chaz and Dr. David in one episode, that itself is worthy of some kind of prize. Apparently people do. You imagine. Well, they'd be very clever people. Oh, that all. With enormous amounts of time on the hands. All right. We've set the audience to challenge. We'll see how you go. We'll report back. Andrew, what a pleasure to, well, it's not really been

raw dogging. It's, I don't know. Raw casting. Raw casting, yeah. Well, you know, the blank one is the rawcast, isn't it? Today has been the full dog. Full dog. I'll see you tomorrow for 10 solid hours. Yes.

At which at some point, how will we know when to speak? We'll just sort of point at each other. I think so, yeah. Right, yeah. Yeah, very good. Okay, Gears from Road. We're part of the Iconoclast Network. And we'll catch you next time.