The Chaser Report - What Really Killed Alexei Navalny? (Not Putin)

Episode Date: February 18, 2024

Mean critic of the heroic Putin and owner of polonium underpants Alexei Navalny has died, of normal and uninteresting death-based causes that Charles and Dom say aren't worth looking into. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to the Chaser Report with Domain Charles. Charles, tragedy in Russia. Tragedy in Russia, we have to talk about the victim of what's just happened in Russia, by which of course I mean Vladimir Putin. Vladimir Putin, who has been shocking, misunderstood. And people have been, I can barely say it, but.

People have been holding him responsible for the accidental and tragic death of Alexei Navalny, the opposition leader. Yes. Who was struck down, Charles, as I'm sure you know, and as they told his mother, by sudden death syndrome. Oh, yes. That was the official explanation. It's such a common cause of death in Russia nowadays. Yes, it is. Sudden death syndrome, it's an epidemic.

It's affected all manner of Putin's opponents. And try as he might. People in the West keep holding him responsible. Oh, I know. And the thing that really gets my goat is, you know, all this talk about COVID, COVID this, COVID that, oh, is it contagious? No one's, no one's studying this sudden death syndrome, are they? Well, until now.

Yes, that's right. Let's get into it. Let's look at this. And if you're not convinced by the end of this podcast that Vladimir Putin is innocent of the charges, then we probably need to try again and ask Russia for more money. Before we go on, you know that very successful podcast called Russia If You're Listening. Yes, it's just called If You're Listening. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So I'm thinking that we should do the sort of opposite of that, which is instead of, you know, shine a light on Russia, we do a sort of co-sponsored, co-branded, you know, pro-putin. Yeah. Russia, you should be listening. You should be listening to Russia. Yeah, that's right. You should listen to Russia. Particularly because I was looking for some videos from RT,

the Russian English language channel that people have called propaganda which in a clear act of propaganda against Russia. I was looking for some clips to play back, but YouTube's bandit. They've censored RT since the start of the Ukraine liberation. They've been censoring Russia's viewpoint. It's absolutely outrageous. So don't worry here, at least until the West censors us,

we're giving you the Russian facts all the time. So sudden death syndrome, Charles, an awful thing. His mother went to try and find his body in the morgue. They haven't handed it over yet. Well, that's one of the sort of strange things about sudden death syndrome is that it takes much longer to get the body to the morgue. Yeah. And to the relatives.

I mean, this is the thing. The authorities want to make sure that they understand the cause of death. Because it's one thing to just say, oh, well, his mother, as they did to the grieving mother, it was sudden death syndrome. But it's another thing to just make, to be sure. Because if they handed the body over, Charles, there might be a funeral, and that might involve protests and so on. And it wouldn't do anyone any favours. They'd all have to be locked up, all the protesters, right?

Well, it would probably cause more sudden death syndromes. It would. It would be spread. It would be contagious, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, look, and they've already had to, for their own safety, Charles, I'm sure you've seen. Russia has sensibly taken the precaution of locking up the people who laid carnations in memory of Alexei Navali. That act was enough.

Oh, well, yeah, I mean, it's one thing to, in your brain, silently disagree with Putin. Yeah, but... Although I wouldn't do that, to be honest, because he can tell him now. No, and also, why would you? I mean, he's always correct. Absolutely. But to put a flower out, I mean, that is, that's radical. I mean, it's sort of...

I mean, did Ted Bundy ever do that? I don't think so. Probably. I mean, that's the sort of radical... I mean, that's how psychopathic putting out a carnation is. Sorry, Charles, are you saying, are you saying, Vladimir Putin is Ted Bundy because... No, no, no, no.

I'm saying the people who put the carnations out are as ruthless and psychopathic. Just be careful because they're... Yeah, no. Yeah, I don't want to... Actually, can I just clarify there? I'm not talking about... I wasn't talking about Putin. I was talking about the people who are against Putin.

I just want to really clarify that. So it's also important to note. The circumstances of the death, he apparently, the prison says, he felt unwell after a walk and lost consciousness immediately. It's, what, February in Russia. He's been recently transferred to a prison by the name of Polar Wolf, Charles. Polar Wolf, he was recently transferred there.

And the temperatures outside can reach up to minus 30 degrees. So if he went for a walk, it's possible he accidentally froze to death. Oh, I see. Oh, gosh, that's unpleasant, isn't it? Yep, he was having back pains, numbness in his legs. But Charles, they took very good care of Navalny there. I don't want to hear any criticism of Russia. Yeah, no, because the thing is, because a whole lot of people saw him in the previous day,

and he was really happy. Yeah, all this is the thing. Yeah. He was happy that Vladimir Putin was still alive. Yes. He's happy that they might reconcile. Right. And they took such good care of him, Charles.

This is what he, even in his amnesty legal team, reported on this. And apparently, Navalny said he was being checked every night, throughout the night, every hour. They would come in and check that he was okay. Now, admittedly they woke him up. Yeah, they'd wake him up every hour. Are you all right? On the out. Are you okay?

Oh, thank goodness. A little tired. Yeah, yeah. So he wasn't able to get uninterrupted sleep, but that was for his own safety, Charles. Yeah, that's right, yes. So he lost a lot of health. He had an acute stomach illness, alarming weight lost, and fainting spells, and what's been referred to as general deprivation.

Yes. But nothing compared to the deprivation he has visited upon Vladimir Putin. Maybe we're all looking in the wrong direction. Maybe Navalny himself suddenly became overcome with contrition. Yes, that's probably what it was. And just realized how horrible it must be for Putin to be in this circumstance of being unfairly accused of maltreating Navalny and stuff like that. And he just decided, like, his body sort of took over and his conscious, his conscience took over. The guilt of what he'd done to Vladimir Putin.

He died of sudden guilt. He died of guilt, absolutely. Yes. He had been, he'd recently been put in solitary confinement for the 25th time after incorrectly introducing himself to the guard. And he was locked up in a punishment spell for 16 hours a day and he got back pains. And I mean, what a bloody winger. He was in a nice, quiet place up at the North Pole with lots of tundra around.

Yes. You know, north facing. Yeah, north facing. Lots of fresh air. Yeah. Apparently it's not cold all the year round. There's like a month where it's warm and then there are mosquitoes everywhere. So it's pretty good.

Pretty good place. He was apparently in a place where, this is from Navalny himself, he was locked in a cell. He could only pace backwards and forwards for 11 steps. And at 5 a.m. every single day, they played him, just to wake him up in a cheerful manner, they made him listen to a pro-putin pop song, 5 a.m. every single day. guy called shaman right i think we've actually got a clip of that should we should we listen to it let's have a listen to this this is my alarm clock now charles it's good this wasn't my alarm clock but that is that's a rocking song like i think we've debunked um yeah we've

death of Navalny, Charles. After this, I'm going to take a look at some of the other recent deaths of Putin's critics. And there's a pattern here, Charles, a pattern of false accusation. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. Now, you might recall, before we got onto the others, that Navalny had a terrible encounter with some sort of nerve, nerve ages. Do you remember that? You go to Germany to get...

Yes, no, it's exactly right. look, people sort of put the blame on Putin, but if you're going to wear underwear made of Novachok, then you've only got yourself to blame. Like, you can't blame Vladimir Putin because you put Novichok in your underwear. Oh, it was a stupid thing to do. He should not have put that Novichok on his underpants.

I mean, do we blame Calvin Klein, who's really at fault here? Well, I just think he's a bit of a drama queen. I mean, you heard that video of him writhing in agony on the plane. Yeah. Yeah. Again, his conscience is getting the better of him. But, I mean, there's so many others.

Alexander Lipfenenko, that was the Polonium 210 poisoning. I don't remember. They laced his tea, apparently. That was a great, I mean, I remember that. I was in London in the weeks after that attack. And not attack, that patriotic. Misunderstanding. Misunderstanding.

Yeah. And so they traced Litvinenko's. So he was a Russian dissident who was actually... Former security, FSB security person, so, you know. Yeah, and he was sort of talking to the Brits, to MI6, about all the information that he had. And anyway, on the last... So after they worked out that it was Polonium, of course, it left this radioactive trail everywhere,

including on things like he'd been to a sushi shop after he'd drunk this tea. And so the sushi shop, on the high... Street in London, like you catch a bus past it, and it was boarded off with radioactive signs on it. Because this is the thing. I mean, there's actually a very good episode of, uh, if you're listening about it, if people want to go and check it out in more detail. But Charles, I've always said, don't drink tea. This is what happens. He tried to go British. If he'd had vodka, can you put polonium in vodka? No, it would survive. It just makes it better. That's right. There was also, there was the Novichok in Salisbury as well. That didn't manage to kill Sergo Scripal, although it came a very

close I think but some random people from Salisbury died in that one. It killed a couple of people who found the perfume bottle that it was in and then they sprayed it on themselves thinking oh wow

free perfume. Free perfume. You see this is another valuable lesson. You don't take anything for free. You get nothing for nothing or you get polonium. Except one of those free samples in David Jones. That's never I never would.

I never would. Who else was that? I mean, Yvgeny Progoshin we've talked about on the podcast. before. Oh, which one was here? That was, he was the head of the Wagner group, the, the Mercedes. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.

And he's, I mean, you don't get on a plane in Russia. We all, no one flies air a floss. Because planes have windows and windows tend to, you know, people tend to fall out of windows. Well, it was such the window, Charles, as the mid-air explosion. Oh, yeah, that as well. That also. And that, that can happen.

But I think that was the plane having a sudden rush of conscience. Yeah, I think that's right. It just couldn't go on. Either that, Charles, or it was those same militants who blew up the Malaysia Airlines plane. Again, Putin was unconnected to that. Unconnected. Yeah, completely unconnected to that. A lot of things that he's unconnected to, isn't it?

Absolutely. A long string of unconnected events. Yep, this is all from the Guardian. Boris Neptsov, as opposition leader, Deputy PM under Yeltsin, shot in the back within view of the Kremlin. And that must have... I'm sure Putin was watching through a telescope. Very hard to commit suicide, shooting yourself through the back.

I mean, he was a talented man. It was, he was very, very good. He was on a bridge in broad daylight. I mean, that's just a very dramatic way to commit suicide. The first one I remember, at least, might not have been the first one. There was a woman journalist who was killed, she was an investigative journalist. This was back in about 2007, and she killed herself with a gunshot to the neck. Yes, in her apartment lobby.

There was Anna Politskowskaya, a very admired journalist. Sort of like the Kate McClyman or the Chris Masters of Russia. Yeah, yeah. Or the friendly Jordies, maybe. The friendly jordies, yes. Prosecutors had never found who was responsible. Putin called for the killers to be found, but I think in a statement of considerable grace under the circumstances,

He noted that her effect on Russian public life had been, and I quote, very minor. So a fond remembrance from Putin, despite the mean things she said about Putin. Yeah, yeah. I'm just looking through, there's an amazing Wikipedia list of the suspicious deaths of Russian business people. There's dozens of them. Awful things. Someone fell down and fly to stairs, shot themselves on the balcony. There's a helicopter crash.

Someone reportedly felt ill and fell over a railing and hit his head. Two good mates, both had heart attacks at the same hotel in India. Lots of people fell out of windows, got hit by cars. This is a sad one. Burned alive after falling asleep with a lit cigarette. Not suspicious at all. No. A flight from Cuba to Russia.

Someone was swimming in the Volga and died. It's a lot of death. And on the bright side, I mean, this is bad for all these people who pissed off Vladimir Putin. But it must be pretty fucking good being Vladimir Putin. It's sort of like being New South Wales in the state of origin, right? Like, at some level, you go, why bother turning up? Like, it's not really a fair contest. You're going to be died.

You're going to be martyed. But actually, you're not going to change. Like, that's not the way. To die is not the way to change Putin. Putin's not going to, like, tonight sort of wake up with a start at 2 a.m. And go, oh, my God, I just killed Navalny. Oh, my God, I'm overcome with guilt. Maybe I'll have to do some sudden death in syndrome to myself.

foot of it. So you're saying, you're saying you shouldn't, you shouldn't oppose tyranny, you should just piss off to me. No, I'm not, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying in this particular circumstance, I don't know that I'd be asked, that is it the right tactic? Like, given that, ultimately, it sort of becomes, what's the Shakespeare thing about, you know, life is meaningless, or the, you know, the piece in the wind representing nothing?

What's the, what's the, that's the tale of sound of fury and furious signifying nothing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Navalny. Well, we're talking about him. We're remembering him. I know, and it's really good. And we're sort of idealistically holding him up as this, you know, fairly self-implortently. We're putting ourselves into his story.

We're going, well, we are Democrats. And so therefore, we support that as a tactic. Because that tactic would work in our country. There's nothing better than being in the West in total freedom. Yes. And being self-righteous about this stuff. It's just the best position to be in. By the way, just as a side note to that fairly serious point,

I've found the best one. I think I've found the best death of all. Alexander Sabotan, age 43, board member of Luke Oil. I need to know more about this. Died on the 8th of May in 2022. When I say the best, I mean the weirdest. Yeah, yeah. He died in the, I'm just quoting Wikipedia,

in the basement of a Jamaican shaman's residence in Moscow. And it says here, reportedly died from a drug-induced heart attack during a shamanic ritual though critics allege toad poison Charles I put to you that and if you're going to go out anyway that's a pretty spectacular way to go

that's not your everyday window or fake shooting a shamanic ritual yeah but even toad poison who uses toad poison these days that'd be awesome regardless of what Navalny may or may not have done the bravest thing you can do of all possible things

in the world of politics with a world leader is to go up to them with cameras rolling and a giant silly stunt. That's the way to bring real change. If I had only had done that, Putin would be long gone. Look at all the change the chaser brought about.

All the elections impacted, all the results. Well, that's why, I mean, I would note we did the apex stunt. Two years later, George Bush wasn't president anymore. And they didn't bring APEC back to Sydney. Yeah. For a while. There you go.

And the Iraq was over. Done. Mission accomplished. Gary is from Road. We're part of the Icona class network. Catch you tomorrow. There you.