The Chaser Report - White Dudes For Kamala | Sami Shah

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

After too long without him, Sami Shah finally rejoins The Chaser Report! Join Sami as he fills you in on what he's been up to, what he thinks of American and Australian politics right now, and why it's okay not to give a shit.Listen to Sami's podcast News Weakly here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to the Chaser Report. Dom here, Charles is still nowhere to be seen. It's been weeks now. We're wondering if he's okay that not sufficiently to text him to check. Because today we have Sammy Shah making a triumphant return to the podcast. Hello, Sammy.

Hello, have you sent out like a search party or even knocked on his door or something? He might just be lying bloated in his kitchen being eaten. by cats right now for all we know. He lives very close to me and yet have you noticed a smell a whiff when you pass by the building at all? I haven't. It might be my imagination, just

dreams coming true in a sense. But no, look, well, I think he's okay. He's working on some TV show. He's every social media, like on every single social network at once, he's bragged about getting a TV show on the ABC next year with Vig Zerbbs and Jenna Island. So I assume that's still happening.

I don't understand why he's needed, but apparently he is. Someone's got to hold of the drinks and carry the microphones and all that stuff. And I like to think he's just there boosting morale saying, you go, girls. And then saying, sorry, women, women. That's what I'm hyping for. All right.

So look, basically, Sammy, it's been a very long time since we've done anything on Australian politics. It's pretty much turned into a, well, fairly serious US politics podcast because we've got all these experts who've come on to tell us about the US and what they think of it. And it's been very intelligent. What's the general summary being that everything's going great there It's all under control or what? I think that might be the case now actually

See here's my thing Hold that thought Sammy We'll find out what your thing is After we play an ad Let's do this Okay, okay Bill's paid Sammy, your thing

I want to know what you'll take is We'll get to Australia It might only be about 30 seconds But we will touch on Australian politics I promise this episode But before we do What's you read on everything It's insane right

Everyone's really happy about Kamala Harris, right? I actually checked their pronunciation based on how she wants to be pronounced. Apparently, it's Kamala. And everyone's really excited and there's all these people really, really confident that this is what it takes and this is the time when it's all going to turn around. As if 2016 never happened, as if the same level of confidence wasn't there with Hillary Clinton and the same level of ego almost wasn't there with Hillary Clinton. So I find that really fascinating.

Democrats are known for their kind of short-term thinking ability. abilities. And so that's really something sticks out to me where I feel like there might be a problem there. And the other part that, look, I'm not a Trump supporter. Obviously, I like the, idea that we're bothering Trump supporters by calling them weird. It's quite obvious that it's a cult. But then whenever I see like, white dudes for Kamala, I'm like, all right, maybe, maybe I'm not on board with this either. Maybe America's just fucked either way. Maybe they're all weird. I can't work out what to make saying of white dudes for Kamala because I read about the article. And it seemed as though it had quite a bit of self-awareness about how shitty the concept of white dudes coming together and advocating anything was, right?

I mean, Ronnie Chang and all the others made the appropriate jokes you'd think about the KKK and so on. And it seems as though the people who actually did the event were fully aware of what that was. You know, they got the dude from... Sure. Yeah, yeah. Big Lebowski, yep. But they still did it? I know.

That's my thing. This is the thing. Are you self-aware? If I ironically bash myself in the face of the hammer, I'm still bashing myself in the face of the hammer at the end of it all. I will ironically break my nose, but I will have a broken nose. Like, it doesn't make a difference, I think, the intent versus the outcome. So I don't know.

A part of me is just like, it's the same as like, I have that reaction whenever I see a white person in Melbourne wearing a kaffir. I'm always like, I don't know. I don't know if you should be doing that. I don't want you doing that. I don't know why it bothers me, but it bothers me. Well, this is the thing. I mean, I'm wondering maybe, maybe, Sammy,

it was just that they had their regular Zoom on that day that they had to run the world. Yes, that's true. I don't get invited to those meetings, obviously. But maybe those like, oh, we can actually have this one in public because every group's having their little thing. You know, first it was black women and they crashed Zoom with, I think, 44,000 or something. Then I think there were women more broadly or white women at one point.

There was a white women for Kamala as well. And that's a bit weird too, right? Like, not that I'm in any position. to criticise, but going, oh, there's been a black woman for Harris. Let's have a white woman. This won't be weird. And then the white men, I think here's the thing, they proved it's weird for everyone. Yes.

I've always argued that, you know, the way we used to talk about things, race was, you know, there's brown people, there's black people and all of that. But white people didn't know they were white people until we told them that because up until then, white people just thought they were people. Yeah. Right? And now they know that they're white people. versus other races are brown and black, et cetera. I don't know if that was a good idea in retrospect.

I think maybe a level of ignorance was fine, and we would have just had dudes for Kamala with none of them realizing that they're white. But the white dudes for Kamala thing just really weirded me out. Anyway, that's my two cents. I mean, I guess the one way to defend it is if Donald Trump learned about it and, like, crashed the Zoom thing. What are you doing?

No one invited me. I've been the best president for white dudes ever. I mean, he's already told black journalists that he was the best president for black people since Abraham Lincoln, completely ignoring Barack Obama. He did technically unify all black people against him and therefore became, you know, he was the best president for black people in the same way in the end scene of watchmen. You know, Ozymandis is the best hero for humanity by, you know, unleashing mass death and calling it a unifying experience. Yeah, I guess in the same sense that. COVID was the best virus for immunologists. Right, yeah, absolutely.

And amateur immunologists, which was a thing that we didn't even know there was in the amateur category, but there is now. I really don't want to look back over the past archives of this podcast to try and see what we were saying in 2020, because I'm sure we were talking about, I can't remember what the terminology was, but we definitely all became amateur experts in that shit for the world. Okay, so all this going on, though, the question I have for you, I mean, I didn't, Ask you on the podcast today, something, to speak on behalf of all brown people.

Sure. But as you hear, is it over-egging it a bit to say that there are shades of a little bit of a balmery energy coming into this? Because I don't know. I'm getting the sense watching Democrats. And admittedly, a lot of my news is filtered through comedians online who are almost exclusively, like, annoyingly liberal. Right.

Yes. People seem to be getting very excited, not just about the fact that Trump might lose, but the fact that this could be one of those I remember where I was. was moments where, you know, the first woman who is also a woman of color and to Donald Trump's great shock are from two backgrounds at once. How is that even possible? Which is funny because he's from two backgrounds as once as well. I think his, I believe his father's side of the family is German and his mother's side of the family was a can of spray tan. So I think that's the genetics there. I wasn't sure whether we were going cheetos or he was. Because his mother was Scottish, right?

That's why he got so upset when the people of Scotland didn't want his ugly golf courses. Oh, all right. And of course, I mean, I don't want to generalize about the people of Germany, but not massively shocked, are we? Yeah, at that background. And it's fine. I think the Germans need to accept that being generalized is one of the punishments that they will have to bear for a very long time still to come.

Right. I mean, yes, I can see why there's vibes of Obama here. I can, I can understand. The thing is, when Obama kind of came out of nowhere, and you have to remember, he did come out of nowhere, right? There was no, one day there was no Obama, and the next day there was just Obama. And we were all crying and everything when he won,

and he did the, yes, we can speech. And then I think Will I am or someone turned that into a song. Yes, he did, which is, and even despite that thing happening, it was still a moving thing. Exactly. Yes, we can, man. But up until the very moment that Joe Biden stepped to, side or rather tripped over and fell down and no one's picked him up basically I think is what

happened no one was excited about the prospect of Kamala Harris like that's the thing that kind of bothers me with this is first the Democratic Party is basically gaslit everyone into going where like hey Biden soiled himself they're like no all pants are brown all the time and you're like come on dude just be honest with me I like a sniff and then everyone was like hey he needs to step down and someone other than Kamala Harris needs to step up because no one actually likes her Yeah, because she's electro-poisoned. Right, and then he did get pushed down, and then she did step up, and now all of a sudden we're like, yep, that's who we always wanted.

We were all hoping secretly it would be her. Nobody wanted her. She wasn't, like, at the end of the day, she got where she got, and she got the position she got for a variety of reasons, and I'm not, you know, I'm not going to play the, it was a diversity pick card, even though it kind of was a diversity pick card, because I've been a diversity pick card for many part things in my career, and the best you can hope for is, hey, after they get past the diversity pack,

they'll look at it in my credentials. and she probably had the same thing going for her and now she's here and now she's in the position can we take a moment to go hey this wasn't maybe the best choice but it's the choice we're stuck with let's give a bit of credit where it seems to be due I don't know whether you've heard this backstory

but it's a pretty fascinating one I'm sure everybody I may have got this had a fascinating backstory at one point I may have got this from a worryingly large amount of information about the US election in my brain now I now realize came from Anthony Scaramucci

on the rest of politics, U.S. podcast, which I really enjoy. But, yeah, it may be out of bullshit. But the theory is that, who knows where I got it from, that Obama didn't really think she could win, right? Yes. And so he was slow to endorse. And then Biden pulled out, and then shortly afterwards went, actually, because he's got a bit of tension with Obama,

because Obama backed Hillary over him, and then it looks a bit reluctant about him. The last time's a joke, come on, you're a bit old. And so the theory was that he was just kind of like, okay, well, I'm stepping down. There's no way we're having a broken convention the way I Obama rights. Fuck that guy. It's Kamala.

I'm going to pick the person who it's going to be. It's going to be my VP who I chose. So there's a little bit of a fuck you, Barack on the way out. And that's kind of weird, if true, given the kind of... He did take a while to call her and endorse her. Like, it wasn't a right-of-way thing. That video, which was clearly enormously staged, the biggest negative for me of Kamala Harris's candidacy so far is that based on that video,

she doesn't seem to understand how speakerphone works. Look, that's the only part I respect. That's a certain kind of Gen X vibe to the whole thing. I still do the thing where I have the speakerphone and then I hold it my ear. That's what she's doing. Yeah, exactly. Are my own speaker or am I not? I both at once.

That might be the only part of her entire platform I respect so far. Otherwise, you know, her whole background for privatizing prisons, et cetera, et cetera. I don't know. Yeah. But also, like, here's my thing. It's America. Who gives the shit? If it collapses, that's hilarious.

If it doesn't collapse and continues to spot her. wrong in a complete chaotic mess. That's hilarious too. We're not Americans and yet again we should remember that's something to be grateful for. They do entertain us. Yeah.

Whether they entertain us with television programs or the shit. It is the greatest spectator sport in the history of the world, the US elections. And let's sit back and enjoy this season. That's it. Yeah, I must say that Donald Trump

getting shot on the ear twist was one I wasn't expecting. Can we just look at that? That happened recently. It wasn't six months ago. That happened within the last month. And we've already forgotten it. We've already, it's old, it's boring.

That's amazing. That's just great writing. That is great writing. I don't care what anyone says. I must say, I wish that whoever's scripted this did the last season of Gamma Thrones because they're packing all the events and in one go. There's no plot. Plus we even get the whole succession thing of Rupert Murdoch being sued by three of his children.

Yeah, sure. Maybe just the Armstrong's doing this season of America. I don't know what's going on. It's so good. I'm excited. And when you contrast that with our own Australian politics, where it is just the most mediocre boring people being the mediocre boring selves. Everyone's like, oh, Barnaby Joyce did something crazy.

Oh, please, come on. Really? That's what I'm going to pay attention to. Someone take a shot in the air or something. Let's take a look at Australia in just a second. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. Yeah, I mean, we haven't really bothered to pay attention to it. And given that an election's kind of brewing in the background,

It feels like this being a chase of a podcast, we kind of should at some point look at what's going on. But it does seem as though extremely little. I mean, Alba had a reshuffle recently. It's almost too dull to talk about. And is he just going to fall over the line because now I'm going to be bothered looking at anything? I mean, I think that's his hope, right? Like, the one thing we do in Australian politics is if they're paying attention to you're doing something wrong. Yeah.

Because people still pay attention to Peter Dutton all the time. And that means that he's doing something. horrifically stupid as per usual. But I mean, like, I went on, I'm on the ABC website right now. I clicked on politics. The first thing that came up is bidding open to manage Sydney airports coveted gates after accusation of slot hoarding by Qantas and Virgin. That is literally earthquake, minor earthquake in Chile, no one injured, a building gets a crack kind of level of headlining. Like, that is the dullest headline in the world. Although I will say, Sammy, one thing did happen today, which I was a bit bemused by, ASEO raised the terror threat

to Probable. I mean, is that just a, we told you so? Is that just a bit of ass-cumbris? No, Probable is still very vague. It's pretty vague, yeah. Probable is just, it's, that's the kind of thing that is just, you know, they need to justify making a stick up belts and shoes off at the airport and all like that, all of that. I mean, at this point, for me personally, I feel like, at least if there's a terror attack,

then it will justify the harassment we go through at the airport because I'm not buying it anymore. It's been a lot of years since 9-11. Yeah, and the belt in my hand, and then the Brisbane airport has the old system so you have to take out your laptop, but then Melbourne Airport has a new one, so you keep the laptop in,

and then the random checks and everything. At least someone do something, so it's worth it all. Otherwise, what are we doing here, Sherards? It doesn't make sense. Well, you remember in the States, there was that one shoe bomber, And I think they're still making people take their shoes off and put them through the scanner every single time.

That's in America though, right? They don't make them. I've never taken my shoes off in Australia. Yeah, yeah. Which is funny because their shoe bomber was a Muslim and now basically you have to behave like a Muslim household at every airport in America. So technically he won.

That's great. It was a wonderful cultural legacy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah, look, I mean, surveying the scene here, Peter Dutton's being Peter Dutton. Yeah, who cares? Albo's being, I mean, Albo's being,

I mean, Albo went to the Garma festival on the weekend, gave a big speech, said this thing isn't over, and then it turned out the funding really wasn't there anymore. So it was over after all. Well, there was funding, but he didn't want to spend the funding or something. Peter up and immediately ruled out and said, we're not doing anything. I think we knew that.

Nobody, no one was holding their breath, Peter. We're already there. Macarada was, we know you're not going to do it. You probably don't even know what it is. So yeah, it just feels like, I don't know, do we want to live in a boring place and laugh at the non-boring places? Is that what we've come to? as a country that we actually like tedium in our politics.

I feel sorry for the people who've got to cover this every day. Well, I mean, look at the people who have to cover it every day. It serves them right. Have you seen them? Have you seen our political analyst class? I mean, how many columns can Patricia Carvelis write while also hosting TV shows and doing radio shows and not doing any of them well, by the way? How does she do so many things at once?

I don't know. I think Patricia Carvel's career is testament to if you turn up and don't make too much of a fast people will keep giving you work. I remember Red Simons once told me If you just don't make too much noise You can stay here for 30 years I obviously didn't listen to him And Red Simon didn't either listen to his own advice

But PK, God bless her She really is going to be turning up for 30 years Could she be, maybe she's just done a lot of improv And it's just always like, yes and I don't even have you heard the interview Here's my thing with, this is probably going to get back to her And then I won't be able to show my face around the ABC again But every interview that she conducts

That isn't a politician is literally PK on screensaver mode. It is Patricia Carvellis going, uh-huh, uh-huh, as she's Googling what politician she wants to interview next because she's not interested in anyone or anything else. That's that's a political class. They only care about politics. They own insiders, a TV show that you have to genuinely be mentally unwell to watch

and your mental fitness will get worse after that. And that's it. That's their entire raison d'et. I'm studiously not commenting on this, Sammy, but I appreciate you expressing your point of you. I will say this stuff. So, Insiders, the notion of Sunday morning political programs, I do find deeply offensive. They're not something that I watch.

It's like the one time when I don't want to think about any politics is a Sunday morning. I've never watched Insiders. Yeah, I've never watched Insiders. And I've never watched Q&A. I've been on Q&A and I've never even watched it. So did you watch it when you were on Q&A or did you just block most of it out? I completely blocked it out. Like, I'm not, I don't understand why people would watch.

those i know people watch those but it's the same as like actually i can i was going to say it's the same as love island but actually i can see myself watching love island before i see myself watching insiders there you put the fuck boy island i would watch over insiders any day of the goddamn week i must say if they could combine some of those programs oh it might help with the ratings oh i thought like like q and a meets fuck boy island where you get all of them a on an island uh with probing political questions directed to fuck boys i think that would be how Oh, are we not pitching this right now? Fuck, Charles and whatever thing he's working on.

We have ABC's next TV show right here, you and I. Yep, yep. Q and fuck boy, I think that's the way we'll make it all happen. Well, okay, I'm glad that someone else with your expertise as a long-term political commentator who had to do political commentary, I presume every day when you had a serious radio job, that you have sort of confirmed my view that it's not actually... We're not letting anyone down by not covering Australian politics in more detail.

No, it's fine. Look, it's a luxury to be boring. It's an achievement to be boring, right? And I'm sure, by the way, under the cover of boring, all kinds of heinous shit is happening and budgets are being cut for everything. Always. But that's what you want your politics to be. You want them to be venal and corrupt and mediocre and rancid.

But as long as you don't pay attention so you don't have to stress about it. And instead you can worry about things like the price of Big Mac player. How are you enjoying middle-aged this? Look, I'm really craving me a Big Mac right now. We've both got young children. We both can't be fucked. Yeah, I think that's it. I think apathy is a real, it's something to strive for.

A lot of people are like, oh, what, you know, where do you see herself in 10 years when I was in my 30s? And the correct answer should have been not giving a shit anymore. And now that I'm there, I never want to leave this place. Yeah. And you hustled so hard. Too hard. Many of you. You were the PK of comedy.

You were just doing 600 things at once, pumping it out, saying yes and to everybody. Just mediocre, just combative. completely blankly blinking at anyone who came into my studio or my dojo or whatever. There you go. Or your dojo. I love it. Sammy, lovely to catch up. And I look forward to not covering Australian politics in similar detail with you.

Likewise. I hope we never talk about it again. All right. Our gears from road. We're part of the iconic class network. And we'll see you soon. Sammy, how's your, are you still doing the podcast then? I am.

Yes. Well, I took five weeks off because I was traveling and holiday and kind of recovering from a few illnesses. So it is back this week onwards. So News Weekly, that's News, W-E-A-K-L-Y. And basically I can also afford to not give a shit because it's been for five weeks of not looking at the news. I'm sure the world's fine. I haven't taken a peek.

I'm sure everyone's getting along great. I'm going to do that this week. All right. We'll look for that on our feeds on Friday. Catch you next time. Bye.