The Chaser Report - Who Gives A Duck? | Bec Melrose | Sami Shah

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

Comedian Bec Melrose joins the podcast to talk everything from Father’s Day flights, to Guy Sebastian, to swearing ducks. Sami and Dom rekindle the animosity between their states as Sami explai...ns the Victorian Liberal party’s leadership spill. All that plus Charles and Dom attempt to contain their anger as they learn the latest news of the failed Pfizer rollout. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of The Chase Report is sponsored by The Chase Report podcast. That's right, Dom, Charles, Gabby Beck, and the rest of the gang are back, with a hot new episode of The Chaser Report every weekday, so subscribe now. No, but actually, though, please subscribe. Did you subscribe yet? Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report for Thursday, the night of September, about 2021. Hello, Charles. Hello. How you going? I'm actually, I'm actually happy today.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Did you know that? It's wonderful, Charles. You're smiling, you're upbeat. Yeah, so I haven't, I haven't drunk anything for the last few weeks. I've only drunk once in the last few weeks, except last night where I drank a whole bottle of wine. And I just feel wonderful. I think drinking is a really good way to feel good. Well, I don't want to ruin your mood, but there, a story broke yesterday, though, I think we've got to discuss. Oh, yeah. And just don't get mad, okay?
Starting point is 00:01:03 Can you just please try, just contain your turn because I think this might make you a little bit annoyed, okay? Oh, dear, okay. So an FOI request was released yesterday, it published in the age. Yeah. And it revealed that federal bureaucrats turned down an offer from Pfizer in June of last year, have a meeting about their vaccine plan, even as other countries were on track to signing deals for millions of doses.
Starting point is 00:01:28 So we could have had millions of doses here by the end of last year. Could we have, though? I mean, they said, you know, we're eager to meet at the earliest opportunity. And the government didn't get back to them for days and then gave them a meeting with the first assistant secretary. Ah, I am trying very hard to not get angry at the moment, Dom. Charles, to be fair, we did sign a contract in November. Admittedly, the US and Canada had a contract in July.
Starting point is 00:01:56 The letter was dated June 30th, and Pfizer Australia said that they could potentially supply millions of vaccine doses to Australia by the end of 2020, scaling up to far more in 2021. So had they said yes to this letter, we would have had millions of doses by the end of last year. But don't, Charles, you know, maybe it wasn't meant to be. What do you mean? It wasn't meant to be. That's exactly what was meant to be. There was literally, they had one job, which was to get the vaccine.
Starting point is 00:02:31 The states were doing everything else. But Charles, put yourself in the Commonwealth's position, right? They had a meeting with Pfizer about where they're up to. Pfizer said, we'll tell you the details of where we're up to if you sign a confidential disclosure agreement, but they didn't sign it. So Pfizer didn't want to tell them all about exactly how advanced they were with their preparations. Instead, it was more of a general overview, was more of an introductory meeting. They would have given us a highly detailed slide deck
Starting point is 00:02:58 illustrating that they are on track to produce a vaccine. Right, so they're asked, do you want more information? And they went, nah. And the government's reply was, look, we're considering the confidential agreement, but we just want to stick to the introductory meeting as planned. Ah, fucking. Fuck, fuck, fuck then. That's basically a year and a half of our lives that we'll never get back because of that.
Starting point is 00:03:21 That single decision. To be fair to the government, they were told on the 23rd of July that the US and the UK had already signed deals for millions of doses. And then they just didn't do anything till November? Till November. Well, how is that to be fair to the government? There's nothing fair about that at all. But in the government's defence, Charles, Pfizer wanted to make a profit from this vaccine,
Starting point is 00:03:42 whereas the AstraZeneca one was being provided at cost. It's much cheaper. Are you suggesting that the government should have signed deals with all of the famous drug companies that were producing vaccines to beat COVID-19, just in case one of them worked and one of them didn't. They already had the Queensland one in their pocket. I think I need another one of those bottles of wine, Dom. You've ruined my date. You've ruined my life. I mean, only if you reflect, Charles.
Starting point is 00:04:05 You only need to be upset if you reflect that had we said yes to this request, we could all have been vaccinated at the beginning of this year. At the beginning of this year, we could all be celebrated. I could have my birth day. I could see my dad on Father's Day. Charles, I'm getting angry. Yes. I'm getting incredibly angry.
Starting point is 00:04:24 that this entire situation was completely preventable if they just read the freaking email from Pfizer and signed the frickin' agreement. But you know what is true though, Dom? It's also unbelievably unsurprising. You know, if I told you that Scott Morrison had fucked up the vaccine, what would you say? You'd say, yes, of course he did.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Of course he fucking did. To be fair. No, I don't want to be fair. In today's episode, comedian Beck Melrose joins us to take a look at some of the week's news, including a swearing duck. Ooh, that sounds interesting. And we're talking to Sammy Shah about some Matthew guy who's been elected down in Victoria. Apparently the Harold Sun likes him quite a lot. But first, let's go to Rebecca Day and Amuno in the Chaser Newsroom.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Prime Minister Scott Morrison has defended giving the opening speech at the Women's Safety Summit in Canberra this week, saying somebody needed to explain to the ladies what the problem is. The PM admitted that going first wasn't his preferred option, but Jenny had warned him it wouldn't be a good look to spend the day interrupting and correcting all of the female speakers. The federal government has admitted that Pfizer offered it vaccines in June 2020 and that the drug company could have delivered millions of doses by the end of last year if it had accepted their offer.
Starting point is 00:05:46 But a spokesperson maintained that the delay and the current law, lockdowns were all Pfizer's fault because it hadn't donated enough money to the Liberal Party to receive preferential treatment. The High Court has ruled that publishers of Facebook pages can be sued for defamation for comments made on them by end users. The chaser wants to express the view that, as this is not a Facebook page, we are legally allowed to call the High Court a bunch of idiots who wouldn't recognize a correct legal principle if one bit them in their privileged... Wait, sorry, that should read, We are not allowed to call the High Court a bunch of idiots
Starting point is 00:06:22 who wouldn't recognise a correct legal principle if one bit them in their privileged asses. I'm Rebecca Dana Muno and constantly questioning my legal liability for these headlines. The Chase Report is brought to you by The Chaser Report. The same team that brought you such a hit podcast out of The Chaser Report. The Taser Report is the best podcast for your chase reporting needs. There's just one easy click you can subscribe now for more free Chase Report.
Starting point is 00:06:49 I won't have to worry about missing the chase reports to the chase report ever again. It's time to check in with our good friend Sammy Sharp, the producer of the News Weekly newsletters just started coming out. You can get it through patreon.com slash Sammy Sharp. Sammy, welcome. Thank you so much for having me back. Now, Charles would have loved to be here, but he's just heard the rumor that if he gets his teenager to a vaccination center
Starting point is 00:07:14 near where he lives at the end of the day, he might be going to get a bit of bonus Pfizer. So this is how things work now, right? You just got to, if you hear a rumor, you go. It's fair enough. I mean, New South Wales is a wash in Pfizer. From what we're hearing down here in Victoria, is you guys are just swimming in Pfizer.
Starting point is 00:07:29 You're just, you're using Pfizer like nangs at this point. Like, if you go past a party at night, there's just like vials of Pfizer lying littered all across the roadside. Yeah, I sprinkle the Pfizer on my breakfast cereal. Of course. It doesn't do anything, but it's just, I've got so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not?
Starting point is 00:07:44 Absolutely. Why wouldn't you? But it's good to have something on. to fight about, right? Because Victorians were being very, very kind about the shared lockdown that we totally gave you. And being really understanding and even sympathetic
Starting point is 00:07:57 towards Sydney Siders, I thought it was beautiful. So I'm glad we're now fighting over vaccines. I actually forgot that Victorians and Sydneysiders particularly, that Sydneysiders are so thin skin. I, you know, in all my time, we're making fun of Queenslanders and then appreciating the fact the Queenslanders have a really good sense of humour about themselves. I have now been reminded of the fact that no one is more humorless in Australia than the Sydney sider.
Starting point is 00:08:22 The average Sydney side of- What are you saying? One joke where I said on Twitter that even Sydney can't even do vaccines without being corrupt about it. Just a joke about their, you know, endemic corruption within the state government in New South Wales. And right away, I had all these Sydney cider friends of mine who were going, look, it's not fair. Why are you attacking Sydney all the time? And Sydney's always the victim in these things. And I was like, you, I forgot. Like, this is, every time I make a joke about Sydney,
Starting point is 00:08:49 I have to mute my, my mentions and turn off my social media because it's a city of a grieved, thin-skinned weirdos just coming at me like a mob. That's very strange because, I mean, as a lifelong Sydney sider who loves the city very, very dearly, it is hard to look at the current situation and think that it's fair. Like, come on. I mean, this whole under the table fires a thing. I don't know what the reality of it is, but yes. I mean, it's clearly, look at the chart.
Starting point is 00:09:18 It's not that our government is amazingly magically competent at giving vaccinations compared to everyone else. Clearly, there's more supply here. Look, I'm not going to get into it anymore. Plus, here we go. In Victoria, we have hope now. We finally, you know, we may have those rising numbers and we may be in this sixth lockdown,
Starting point is 00:09:36 which is never going to end. But the state of Victoria finally has hope of a better future, of a better chart. Oh, absolutely. Things are turning around here. The optimism the average Victorian feels right now is remarkable because I don't know if you heard about this, but Matthew Guy is back. That's right.
Starting point is 00:09:54 The guy known as guy is back. We were confused, genuinely. It was kind of like, is his name actually Matthew Guy or is he just some Matthew guy? Look, he looks like a Matthew guy. He looks very much like a Tim guy as well. Because if you look at his best buddy, Tim Smith, they both look identical. They look like they were generically kind of. formulated in the basement of the Victorian Liberal Party headquarters using a little bit of
Starting point is 00:10:21 mafia donations and some IPA basically DNA. And it created these two generic templates. But you know, here we are. Matthew Guy has won a leadership spill. Remember leadership spills? Those are fun. They're back again as well. You know, we're having kind of a nostalgia kick here in Victoria just because we're kind of reliving the golden days of not being in lockdown. We thought, Let's have a leadership spill. We kicked out Michael O'Brien, which was shocking to all Melbourneians because we didn't realize Michael O'Brien was a real person who was still in charge of the Liberal Party here. We thought he'd been killed by the mafia 20 years ago and rolled into a cement block somewhere,
Starting point is 00:11:00 but it turns out he was still working. I mean, they do both sound like witness protection names, don't they? Michael O'Brien and Matthew Guy. These are definitely extras from the background character scenes in a really good mafia movie. But the thing about Matthew Guy is that he's back. He's, you know, he's an ideas man. I don't know if you heard his ideas last time in 2018 when he lost the state election. He had ideas then like, well, one of the ideas, for example, back then he was ahead of the curve.
Starting point is 00:11:28 You know, when people point out that the polling said that, you know, the Victorian liberal party is going to lose the state election. Matthew Guy said, we looked at our research and we see that we've got a good chance. He's a do your own research guy, a phrase that has become so. popular now and he was way ahead of that curve in 2018. Impressive. So they've gone from a guy who no one really has heard of to a guy who is a proven election loser. Is that what they've done? I mean, yes. Is there no one else is my question. Is this really, are there two people in the Victorian Liberal Party at the moment? I know Dan Andrews won big last time. There might be more. No one knows. We didn't even know there were two. We thought there was just one. We thought it was
Starting point is 00:12:05 just Tim Smith and only because, and we didn't know he was a real guy. Like, I'm still convinced that Tim Smith is a Russian Twitter bot that somehow gained sentience when someone dripped radioactive goo on it. But, you know, he's the one who's backed Matthew guy. Matthew is back. He's got some new ideas. He wants to, you know, make one of the quotes directly from the Pest conference is that he said that Victorians were, quote, aching for the next election to be a contest, which is largely what elections are.
Starting point is 00:12:36 They are a contest. So I'm not sure what new is being promised over there. and you reminded voters that Victoria is not a one-party state, which, to be fair, we kind of forgot, given the fact that we only have one competent party in the whole state. Yeah, it's kind of like, well, you're not a one-party state, but your voters chose to be an overwhelming, like, it's not exactly a structural issue. It's to do with competence, right?
Starting point is 00:12:59 It's to do with competence. It's to do with the fact that, you know, voters in Victoria, unlike voters in New South Wales and Queensland, don't like racism in their politics, right? They don't encourage the politicians to get a dog whistle. It's something where our ears are very sensitive to dog whistling. And last election in 2018, you know, there were a liberal party in Victoria handed out leaflets that said stop gangs hunting in packs, which I'm assuming that they were in favor of gangs hunting solo and not in packs. That was their problem with gang hunting overall.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Well, they like individualism, don't that? That's right. It's a very neoliberal approach to gangs. They basically, when Matthew Guy was criticized, was critical. criticized for racism, he said that he, all he wanted was to stop Victoria becoming the Johannesburg of the South Pacific, which then required the Australian High Commission in Johannesburg in South Africa to apologize to South African government. And Matthew Guy doubled down and said, you know, he's not interested in the leftist ANC. You know, the political party that ended apartheid in South Africa. Their leftism is what he didn't like. So clearly a smart man. Clearly there isn't anyone else. Like this, to go back to a person to a person with a track record of gaffs of this degree, the cupboards bear, right?
Starting point is 00:14:16 You say that and I would think that, but Jeff Kennett lost twice, even lost the leadership of the Victorian Liberal Party once, and then came back and ended up becoming Premier twice in a row. So there is a longstanding tradition in Australian politics of electing losers. You know, let's not forget, we did at one point have Kevin Rudet's prime minister again after a leadership spill. And we've also seen, you know, what's his name, Malcolm Turnbull come back after leadership spills and things.
Starting point is 00:14:47 So, you know, we do. So hang on. So if your examples are Rudden Turnbull, it's probably not a very good idea for long-term success. It's not a good idea for long-term success, but it's a great idea for short-term victory. And short-term victory allows someone like Matthew Guy to have access to a lot more rate-of-state development funds,
Starting point is 00:15:03 which is really what his entire political career has been. It has been a great campaign for, just making a lot of money out of real estate developing. I don't know if you remember last time there was a whole lot of controversy around, you know, turning Phillip Island at one point, maybe into a high-rise tower-based land, you know, just expanding the Melbourne CBD and all of these things. He had dinner with an alleged mobster. From what you're saying, actually, Matthew Guy will inevitably be the premier for 10 years.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I feel like, look, Victoria's at that place where we've had too much of a good thing. We've had a government that we chose ourselves. We've had, you know, largely governments that, you know, maybe took care of us during lockdown. There was big screw-ups last year, but they learned their lesson. They tried to not be political about the implementation of COVID regulations and, you know, whether or not people like lockdown, you know, our death rate and death tolls are very low overall.
Starting point is 00:15:58 So let's try something else. Let's try rank incompetence. Let's try gross corruption. Let's bring a guy in whose best ideas so far have been. you know, a little bit of racist dog whistling and a whole bunch of real estate development funds and see what happens there, you know? Maybe we can be a little bit more like New South Wales and get some Pfizer that way because clearly that's the only fucking way we're going to get any vaccines in this stage. Actually, that's true. He might be the man to actually bring
Starting point is 00:16:22 vaccines to Victoria by the way things are going. Thank you very much, Sammy. Happy to provide. And if you want to watch Sammy stand-up shows, I mentioned the Patreon link before, patreon.com slash Sammy Shah. You can also get a whole bunch of other content from him that way. and his News Weekly podcast is I'm Advised Imminent. The Chase Report is sponsored by the Chase Report now with interactive games. Like this one, I'm currently holding a coin in either my left hand or my right hand, and you need to guess which one. If I win, you need to subscribe to the Chase Report.
Starting point is 00:16:51 But if you win, I give you $1,000. Okay, ready? Make your choice now. Either my left hand or my right hand. Oh no, it looks like you're wrong. It's actually in the other hand. I guess that means you need to subscribe now. Writer and comedian Beck Melrose joins us now.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Hey, Beck. Hello, thanks for having me. How was your father's day? Did you manage to get on any VIP jets over the weekend? I didn't. No, such a bummer. I have been really missing that actually in lockdown. But Aloha, we had Scott Morrison back in Sydney over the weekend for Father's Day,
Starting point is 00:17:23 didn't we? Isn't that a wonderful thing? Good on you, Scott. He's a flying fly-out dad, isn't he? Got to love a FIFO dad. But yeah, he came up to Sydney on an ardor. A.F VIP jet to Kiribili to spend the weekend with Jenny and the girls. And I don't know about you, but I was pretty furious about it. I think I speak for a lot of us when I say I'm really
Starting point is 00:17:44 missing, dropping of hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on military transport. And he could have offered people lifts, couldn't he? It's a three-hour drive too. He could have got a Greyhound bus. There are so many ways that he could have got from Canberra to Sydney that are far more normal. That's a good point. I hadn't thought about that. It's such a short trip. What's he doing? Like I've been done it on the Murray's bus. You'd just sit there and as Seton before you've arrived. Yeah, you could listen to a couple of episodes of this podcast, really. That's what he should have done.
Starting point is 00:18:08 But don't you think that he wouldn't have then been able to sort of justify it? Like, by using the military jet, it sounded like, oh, he's probably on top secret father's business. Top secret. Carrey making business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's being a father and defending the country. Yeah, after dropping that much money, and I'd want to be a good curry, and I really wouldn't
Starting point is 00:18:27 back that after the photos I've seen. No, no, definitely not. Actually, come to think of it. We were saying yesterday that he only got caught because a bunch of nerds saw the VIP jet on one of those flight scanning websites. So if he'd just gone on the Murray's bus like everyone else, he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky nerds. If you're looking at it from a cost perspective, you probably could have bought the bus
Starting point is 00:18:50 for less and come up on his own. Yeah, but yeah, you're right. He didn't break any rules though, didn't he? No, no, he didn't. Because he makes up the rules. He makes up the rules. So, I mean, it's a perfect scenario, really. But people that were pretty annoyed about it anyway.
Starting point is 00:19:04 There's been a bit of backlash. I just think there seems to be a bit of a double standard. There's exemptions being granted for politicians and football players. Neither of those groups are known for keeping their droplets to themselves either, so it's a bit risky. Oh, that's true. Imagine if NRL players started spreading aerosols. We'd be in 10,000 cases within a week.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Mad Monday happened. It would not be good. I mean, when you can visibly see it on the close-ups with the tackles, it can't be good, can it? Yeah, the directive's not to leave home unless it's absolutely necessary. I do just think as our leader, it's just a terrible judgment call, isn't it? We've already had him go to Hawaii. We had him tracing his ancestry in Cornwall and now he seems to be using the military to pick up finger
Starting point is 00:19:44 paintings from his kids. He should have bought the jet from Bunnings. Click and collect. But look, the ACT won't happy about this. That's the thing because their chief health officer gave the exemption. But hasn't the chief minister been a little bit critical of the PM over this? Yeah, he tried to basically all the fingers that were pointing at him. He was trying to point back at the prime minister. And, you know, I think you can tell I'm a bit flustered by all of this stuff. And I actually had a friend recommend ASMR. Have you used ASMR? Oh, what's ASMR?
Starting point is 00:20:12 Oh, it's great. It's basically all of these weird noises and sounds that relax you before you go to sleep. Really nice, slow, calm, soft voices. And I've been using the ACT Chief Minister Andrew Barr's press conferences for that purpose. It's been great. Let's have a listen to a little bit of human action. I can understand community frustration at what I would perceive the Prime Minister has done in relation to a trip home over the weekend. You are free to leave the ACT. I just, I do the opposite actually, Hecky.
Starting point is 00:20:45 I just hear over and over again a recording of Scott Morrison saying, I don't hold a hose, mate, and just I get so angry that I pass out. Well, he's not holding much together at the moment, is he? Never mind a hose. Well, I mean, that was a problem at Engadine, wasn't it? Oh, God. I actually came from Ingotene, so... Do you believe the story?
Starting point is 00:21:04 Oh, do I believe the story? 100%. Yeah, I think Canberra's tactic with the presses to kind of hypnotise people into staying. It obviously didn't work on scomo, but I've been sleeping like a baby, so I really would recommend it. Okay, cool. Well, I'll totally use it because I felt really relaxed then. Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:21:20 He's got such a calming, soothing voice, even when he's talking about, you know, global health pandemic, it seems to really calm you down before you go to sleep. Now, talking about calm you. sounds. What's all this about this talking duck that's been in the news? Oh, this I loved. So there's a talking duck that was recorded years ago by a researcher in Canberra, and it's just surfaced again now. It's very interesting to me that the first words the world is ever going to hear from a duck come from a duck in Canberra. And I think it's been definitely inspired by its natural environment. Let's have a listen and see what this duck said.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Is this real? This is real. It's 100% real. And is it really from Canberra? It's from south of Canberra. But, you know, close enough proximity to know. Southside. I imagine it kind of swanning around Lake Burley Griffin,
Starting point is 00:22:10 but I don't think that's exactly where it came from. I presume the owner of the duck is a parliament house worker of some kind. Maybe someone doing handsart. I presume it's a handsard reporter who just says that all day, proofing their words. Yeah, I shouldn't really be putting words into the duck's mouth, should I? And really, the you bloody fool could have been about what it was being. fed, you know. I don't know if Bill Shorten's going down there every time he eats a hot dog in the
Starting point is 00:22:32 wrong direction. He's just throwing out the rest of the bread to this poor duck. I reckon they should get that duck for the cricket. Like every time something gets a duck. Just having that you bloody fool. You bloody fool. That's a great idea. Yeah. The new video ref. I love that. I love it. Yes. It should be the third umpire. Should be the duck. That's perfect. Yes. Is it going to be offended by all the KFC advertising, I would be. Oh, yeah. I don't think it all liked that much at all. It's not a very strong brand alignment for the duck, but you know what? They can look into that. Now, speaking of bloody fools, Beck, what did you make of Guy Sebastian's adventures this week? Oh, I feel like he's had a hard week, hasn't he, Guy Sebastian? He's been on the fence,
Starting point is 00:23:13 on this vaccine campaign that the music industry is running vaccination. There's a little clip here. He went on the Ray Hadley show this to kind of clear the air after a post on his social media was removed that was supporting the vaccination campaign. Let's have a listen to how that went. You have recanted on, or you've decided after what you said in March, that vaccination's not as important as perhaps it was to you in March when you made comments to the adelaide advertiser. I'm equally disappointed in you, Ray.
Starting point is 00:23:41 I think it's a very false narrative, and you've actually missed the whole point of what I was saying. What's the point? I haven't said I don't support vaccinations. I'm double-jabbed myself. And like you said, you used a point against me that I said when that thing's ready, stick it in me. I mean, it's pretty clear, Becky, don't go on the Ray Hadley show to clear the air. The air gets a lot thicker and heavier after you.
Starting point is 00:24:05 I mean, Ray Hadley, basically, his vocab's the same as the ducks. Yeah, it was a big mistake, wasn't it? But I have to say that the stick it in me line, that's got to be a much better slogan for vaccines than the federal government has managed. So good on him at least for getting that out. He's got a big fan base. I think people would sign up for that. Oh, absolutely. And that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:24:22 I love this vaccination campaign. I think it's a really, really good campaign. And the industry has obviously been very hard hit by the pandemic. I was feeling quite nostalgic for all my festival days, seeing all the photos this week. I'm probably not the target market anymore, but I like to think I am. But he just wasn't happy with the way that the post supporting the campaign was worded, basically. And it sounds like he's trying to hedge his bets, right?
Starting point is 00:24:45 Not hurt anyone's feelings. But I sort of think it doesn't really matter. You know, I always take my vaccination advice from Shannon Knoll. Yeah, I think he's the true winner, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, he is speaking for a lot of people in regional areas when it comes to the vaccine roll out. What about me? It isn't fair.
Starting point is 00:25:06 I think that's actually spot off. They've had enough and they want their share. And I think, you know, fair enough. They've been redirected all over the place. I think we should get Guy Sebastian out to Homebush to deliver some vaccines. I think that would be the thing to do. If he and Shannon actually had a rematch. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:21 You see, who could do the fastest vaccinations? Wow. That is really the resolution to 2003 that Australia has been waiting for, I think. The ultimate showdown. All right. Thank you very much, Beck. Thanks very much for having me. Great chatting.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Wasn't that funny. This episode of The Taste Report has been brought to you by the subscribe button. Don't press it. No, I'm just kidding. You can press it. Go on. Do it. Just do it.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Please. Charles, just before we go, you're far more experienced as a parent than I am. Can I just get your views on a question? I am. Is there a maximum amount of television that a three-year-olds should watch in any 24-hour period? Now, what are you talking?
Starting point is 00:26:10 Are you talking, like, based on science, or based on parenting skills? I don't want to know. I think it's too late for science. I think ideal parenting principles went by the wayside in about week three of the lockdown. I mean, is there going to be permanent harm to my daughter if she watches Mira Royal Detective for just about the entire day? Admittedly, she's moved on from Frozen now.
Starting point is 00:26:35 She's diversified to a wonderful series about a female detective. Look, I think my principle was always, especially when they're three, is what you do is you count up the number of hours in a day. Yeah. And that's the number of hours. that they're allowed to watch TV for. It worked for me. My kids are fine.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Are they really, though? Well, you know. I mean, if she now thinks that she's a detective and wants to follow the clues, that means she'll eventually get out of the house, right, and start following clues and maybe earning income for the family. No, no, she'll just want to keep watching TV. That's how it works. But the thing is, you should actually love this moment in her life
Starting point is 00:27:13 because she has the concentration to be able to watch, what, a 10-minute episode, 20-minute episode, are they? Ah, each one's 20 minutes, yeah, yeah, exactly. Whereas when they become teenagers, their attention span becomes about 30 seconds because that's how long TikToks go for. This is actually your golden era, Don.
Starting point is 00:27:32 This is a game changer. So the fact that she's just watching long-form television is something I should be grateful for because she hasn't discovered TikTok. Yes! I knew I could rely on you, Charles. I feel so much better. You can leave a five-star review
Starting point is 00:27:45 if you'd be so kind on Apple Podcasts, maybe praising the parenting advice. that we include in the Chaser podcast. One of the best things you can do for us while you there is follow the podcast. Yes. Tick follow on Apple Podcasts. That way you'll get every episode. Yes, because we got told yesterday that 42% of our listeners aren't actually subscribed
Starting point is 00:28:05 to the podcast in their podcast app. So they're not getting it automatically. You've got to put on the, do the follow button thing. Commit. Commit, you millennials. Commit to something. Go on. Our gears from road microphones are part of the Acast, Creator Network.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Weck. See ya.

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