The Chaser Report - World Protester Arresting Championships

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

Dutton's nuclear costings are in, and John is thrilled to find that the coverage from News Corp has been without a trace of bias. Meanwhile Lachlan has found something that Australia is really good at, and he thinks it should be a sport. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser report. Dom back with producer Lachlan and John Delmenico, editor of The Chaser. Hello. Hello. Gentlemen, thank you for keeping the things going while I was busy. Great to have you here.

Great to have you here, Dom. Also, welcome back after a busy few days, combing through nits, I believe. That's right. We're all going to bring a story to the table. My story's nits suck. Literally, I think, is the problem. Anyway, so that's what I've got to discuss, which is not terrible newsworthy. It's more of a perennial. What have you both got? John, what's on your mind today? Since the last time we've recorded, Peter Dutton announced his nuclear plan. He did. And I've just got examples of some amazing reporting that's come from that announcement. Okay, there we go. So the reporting of the report. Amazing. And Lachlan Hodson, what have you managed to

dredge up from the bowels of the news cycle. Oh, look, I feel like I come on the podcast a fair bit and say how Australia is bad and how we should be disappointed in Australia. You hate this country, don't you? I know. I'm very negative about this country. And I thought, no more being negative about Australia, it's time to find something that we're good at.

And I've found it. I have found something that Australia is not just good, but the best in the world at. My heavy-handed sarcasm alert just went off. Let's take some heads while we find out what's going on. All right, so I think we should start with John because, look, Peter Dutton promised he'd have costings by Christmas. He's brought out the costings. What was it?

$30040 billion, something like that for the nuclear reactors. That's the plan. I'll bring them up to double-check that. $331 billion, that's right. For the nuclear reactors built on the site of existing coal-fired power stations. None of that whole small modular nuclear reactor situation anymore. It's going to be big, big old school reactors, the full bore reactors, seven of them to be built, apparently. And the important point is, it's cheaper than Labor's Plan.

That's what they're saying, cheaper than Labor's Plan. So why wouldn't you want to do it, John Dominica? Why do you hate saving money, John? I mean, if you look at the News Corp front pages of that day, the big headline was nuclear is cheaper, and the subheading was, it will save a bomb, which I feel like I would talk about. at nuclear, we shouldn't use the word bomb when you hear it. Yeah, that's an interesting word. An unfortunate analogy

to be drawing, yes. Yeah, they've come out, they say it's going to be so much cheaper. According to Philip Curry in the Financial Review, it's going to save us $263 billion compared to Labor's plan. Are you telling me that News Corp is being broadly supportive of

the Dutton plan to the point where they seem to be the means by which it was first reported? Yeah, well, News Corp and the Financial Review. I'm not sure I buy this. I thought we were just talking on the podcast on Friday about how Labor had secured the Murdox support. Oh wait, no, I'm getting that wrong again. Sorry. Yeah, no. But also, if we can remember all the way back to last week, there was the naysayers at the CSIRO who said that it would cost twice as much. Yeah, the gen cost report they put out annually said that it would be twice as much.

That's right. But look, I've heard the coalitions, the coalition's position on this is that they didn't know what the coalition's plan was when they did their gen cost record. Though, maybe they are pricing other, other nuclear reactors. And, you know, again, to Dutton's defence, he's a man who likes detail, and he will not listen to criticism if there isn't enough detail. Well, yeah, and we have the detail now. We've got under the Liberal Party's plan, the majority of energy will be renewable energy. That to me was the most fascinating detail, by the way, on this.

So for their big benchmark nuclear plan, the big stuff, all the renewables, let's keep going with coal for longer, they're still generating the majority. by renewables. Is that the official name? Or just the working project one? Oh, it's very much a working project, just like the nuclear plants or B for 50 years. Yeah, so even in their plan to build seven reactors, seven, that's still not enough power for Australia, and the majority is going to be generated by renewables. I thought renewables were pretty much on the way out, but you're telling me the coalition, and I've heard this from others, the coalition actually wants to generate the majority of power with renewables. Yeah, the same renewables that we can't trust.

We can trust under Little Party. They've also kept a decent percentage, about 8% for gas. Oh, yeah. Which is slightly higher than Labor's plan, which is 6% gas energy. Well, it's only slightly higher. That's going to be really disappointed to Gina Reinhardt. That's not worth the, like, Peter Dunn flying over to W.A. Just say hello, sort of money.

That's an interesting question. Is a 2% difference worthy of a spot in the company jet? That's a genuine question that needs to be resolved. Look, I just want to set something straight here, because there's an implication here that I'm uncomfortable with, which is that News Corp has been somehow working with Peter Dutton, that there's been a campaign going on to try and make the nuclear power look like the preferred solution. And that is not true, okay?

There is no campaign, and my source for that is News Corp Executive Chairman Michael Miller interviewed in the Australian, who denied that there was a campaign. So there you go, John Demetico. If anyone was having a campaign, he would be running. the campaign in the Australian. So look, take that anti-Aubanesi who's been claiming that they're working hand-in glove, he said.

I can't see Peter Dutton wearing a glove. If the glove does not fit, you must acquit. That's right. Exactly right. And build nuclear power plants. There is one small thing with the costings, which is that to be $263 billion cheaper. The way that they chose to run those numbers

compared to how the biased CSIRO did it, is that they compared if everything under the little part, plan works perfectly, then that's how much it will cost. It's 331 billion. So it might go above that, but that's the, and then if Labor's plan completely fucks up in every possible step of the plan, its overall cost will be $200 billion more than if everything goes perfectly for the Liberal Party. And I think that's just fair. I think that's a fair way to do it. We've seen how our Liberal Party rolls things out. You know, we've already got the car parks they can use. That is only based on how reality will fold out, John.

Because if Labor is given to their own devices, think of it like The Voice, think of it how they said it would happen and then it didn't. Now, when, I dare you to name me 200 examples of where that's happened for the Liberal Party. Maybe you can name four, but you can't name 200, John. The Coalition has been very good at building consensus for things recently. Yeah, on the voice. They've, and they seem to be building consensus that people don't like Labor very much. That's been, that position's been going very well for them.

And Peter Dutton, he doesn't want to divide Australia, which is why he'll stand in front of one nuclear flag. So here's the thing. I mean, you're saying that the coalition plan is based on nuclear, you know, having no problems. When's nuclear ever had problems in the history of the technology? That's an outrageous suggestion. It's reliable 24-7 baseload is what it is. if there's not a meltdown.

It keeps the lights on, unless there's a meltdown. It's known for that. I mean, if there is a meltdown, that's a section of the grid that we don't need to power anymore. Well, arguably, it might be a surge in some respects. If you get enough batteries on that thing, can you capture it?

Well, I think this is why, and to Little Party's credit, they've got a really big hitter endorsing them now. According to this Sky News headline, so the Coria Mail columnist, Des Horton, heralds the opposition's nuclear energy plans. And if you don't know who Des Horton is,

this is a big gun of Australian political commentary. He is none other than the Courier-Mail's very own wine editor. Goodness me. If there's anyone I trust to give feedback on nuclear, it's a semiliar. Can you imagine how little work a Queensland-based wine expert gets? Well, I give it was the beer editor. Then I'd be on board. But you can't...

Does anyone ever drunk a glass of wine in Queensland? They don't produce it or anything, do they? Well, now you can drink a glass or nuclear waste. How is Courier Mayo Wine Editor actually a real job that takes a full-time salary? He also covers travel. Well, if he's also the travel editor, John, he's the specialist in how to get out of Queensland. Now, that's a popular job in that state. Just ask Peter Adden.

Yes, potentially heading to Canberra. All right, let's take a moment, and we'll come back and find out about what Australians are great at. None of the medical advice contained in the Chaser Report should legally be considered medical advice. The Chaser Report. So, look, we've debunked the whole idea that News Corp is working to bring down the Albanysea government just because it ran quite a lot of headlines about how great Petitutton's nuclear plan was. I'm sure those views were independently formed, potentially with or without the consumption of wine. We're not sure.

But Lachlan Hodson, you've been doing some research into things Australia is great at. I have. And I won't hear it any. longer that Australia is bad or not a good country because as a report from the University of Bristol found recently, Australia is top of the charts when it comes to having the highest rate for arresting climate protesters. Really? When it comes to arrests at climate protests, Australia averages 20% of all climate protests ending with an arrest. The nearest being the UK, who have a 17.2% arrest rate.

But otherwise, we are three times the national, more than three times the average for making sure that those filthy climate protesters spend a night behind bars where they belong. We should make this our national sport. I was thinking precisely that, John. I thought we've got the 2032 Olympics in Brisbane coming up and along with having some wine tastings there.

We can now have the 100-meter climate protest arrest event. I'm already training with New South Wales police to enter the heats at that. You're going to need some parkour skills, I think, Lachlan. If you're going to get away from, you're going to need to sort of be able to jump up walls and stuff if you're going to get away. I mean, as much as we joke about it being an Olympic sport, I presume if anyone actually tries to do a climate protest at the 232 Olympics, it will literally become a thing.

Like, they're not allowing that. In Brisbane, are they during the game? Surely, it's just the fact that the IOC isn't a country because the IOC hates protests far more than even Australia does. No, and I think the only thing the IOC hates more people without homes and they're basically protesters, so I'm sure we'll arrest them as well. I don't want to have to fact-check you on the podcast, Lachlan, but I'm going to, I'm going to have to do it.

No, please, I need it. Because I've got the article here. You sent through the article by business reporter, Gareth Hutchins. And there's a couple of caveats in this. Okay, we are arresting quite. a lot. We're arresting quite a lot of protesters three times the global average. But we're not killing them. Yes. And the stats here say that this is part of the issue, is that if we were killing them, there'd be fewer arrests. And whereas places like Brazil, the Philippines, India and

Peru are killing double figures or triple figures between 2012 and 2023. So what do you want us to do, Lachlan? Would you rather we, you know, did the Brazilian model? Well, well, it's funny you say that we're not killing them because, yes, it is true that between 2012 and 2023, Brazil may have killed 401 climate and environment protesters. You'll note in that ABC article, Dom, it says in the article, it's quite rare happening in Australia, but the rate is not zero. There was one person that Australia killed in the last 12 years for attending a climate protest. Now, I don't know who that is, but I think that that puts us somewhere on the leaderboard. If we're talking in Olympic sport, it means we're at least making it into the semi-finals. Yeah. Also, this is going

so far back. This is 2012. So many of the arrests have come post-Christmins. This is like when you bring in a new coach for a national team and then they come in, they've got these some great ideas. We could see some murders soon. We could. But hang on here. He's really revolutionising the way that we arrest climate protesters. I need to bring in my second caveat here. which is that it depends how you define success because what it says in this article, Lachlan, is that groups like Extinction Rebellion, which particularly in Australia and the UK,

which are the two highest rates of arrest, by the way, it says here intentionally employing tactics that may result in arrests because it's part of their strategy for change. So actually you could say Australia has a wonderful, vibrant climate protest movement where everyone's winning a date in court. And in fact, Extinction Rebellion is having wonderful success.

in their members getting arrested and getting dragged in front of a court. So really, we should be celebrating this because it's going wonderfully well. But if we go celebrate it outside, we will get arrested. So we need to, if we take it to the street, that's going to be a bad idea. Celebrate that win quietly in your own home. That's a very good idea. Well, you've brought me to my third and final point, which is you can't have a proper national sport without match fixing.

And with groups like Extinction Rebellion, playing the game, knowing what their result is going to be, I think that the sport of Olympic level climate protest arrests has potential to make it as Australia's next gold medal. Now, that is how you get the government to really invest in this sport. Finding a way to add sport betting into this. Get the AIS on board. Get centre bed on board.

But also, looking at this article, there's the silver lining in all this, which is, okay, sure, in Queensland, New South Wales, Tasmania, Victoria and South Australia, in the past five years. there have been laws introduced that make it harder to protest, and this is seen as a major issue globally, even relative to other more oppressive regimes. But, hey, open season in WA, the Northern Territory and the ACT, go nuts, people, until they ban it.

You need a sports centre for every new big game, and that's it. Queensland has NRL, Victoria has AFL, finally something for the NT and WA, Australia number one. Ozzy, Ozzie. Arrest, arrest, arrest. I suppose if the nuclear plan goes ahead, environmental protests might be off the table. Do you think under the new laws,

or perhaps we'll just beat the world by more? No. I knew there'd be a foil in the plan. John, you've got to speak to your friends at News Corp really quick and make them write something about how bad it is that we're... No, how bad it is that we're arresting climate protesters? Will that do the reverse psychology and get them to do it more? No, what we should say is how bad nuclear energy is,

and then there'll be more protesters on the street, and then there'll be more arrests. And then we can get more arrests, finally making it in time for the 2032 Olympics. Brilliant, thank you. Well, I'll get you on that assignment ASAP, please, John. I mean, I'm just going to have to come out and say that these extinction rebellion Muppets that have been getting arrested stopping city, because city traffic, and it's an unfair tactic to block the harbour bridge. It's very annoying when there's a traffic jam in Sydney.

The environment's important, but come on, we've got to get to work. All I want to say to those extinction rebellion types is get a job. Hey, you can be one editor at the Courier Mail, dead and dream, guys. We're part of the Iconiclass Network, and we'll catch you tomorrow. Catchers.