The Chris Cuomo Project - Cuomo On The Couch: Different Place, Different Space

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

In a candid, unfiltered talk from his living room couch, Chris Cuomo explores why changing your location won’t necessarily help you make sustainable changes in your life without also adjusting your mindset and behavior. Follow and subscribe to The Chris Cuomo Project on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube for new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Different place or different space. Different place versus different space. Very different when it comes to understanding how to help yourself. I'm Chris Cuomo. I have made a mistake many times that I hope I can help you make less or maybe avoid at all. Welcome to another special episode of The Chris Cuomo Project. Cuomo on the couch, situated as thus and as the this. Please subscribe.

Please follow. If you want some of the merch of where we're wearing our independence, being free agents, being critical thinkers, check it out on the YouTube page or find it on any of my social media. The Chris Cuomo Project is supported by Cozy Earth. Why? Because I like their sheets. That's why. A lot of people don't get a good night's sleep for a lot of reasons. One of the ones that you can control is bedding. One out of three of us report being sleep deprived. Okay, well, what is it? Well, it stresses all kinds of things,

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Go to drinkag1.com slash ccp. Drinkag1.com slash ccp. Check it out. Now, different place is not the same as different space. What does that mean? Oh, I got to get away. space. What does that mean? Oh, I got to get away. I've got to get out of this room. I must leave right now. I have to take a walk. Go take a walk. Take a vacation. I'll talk to you on Monday. What are we doing? We're creating separation to break a dynamic, a cycle, mood, and emotion. The travel, actual travel, is not only not central to the fix, but it is non-essential in most cases. Well, that's not true. When I go on vacation, that's because you have made a choice that whatever happens, wherever it happens, has a benefit to you that will allow you to change your perspective. I will tell you, it is rarely the case, unless you are being overwhelmed by your change in condition. You go like to Antarctica or something like that,

and you must survive by walking a day in the snow and following this road. Okay, you probably won't worry about your taxes the same way or the fight you had with whoever because you are locked in a desperate race for survival. But when you go to the Bahamas, go wherever you're going, there's usually enough mishigas and BS just getting to the vacation to kind of keep you in the same foul state or whatever negativity there is that you're trying to escape from. The travel itself is non-essential. You don't have to take a vacation to get to a different space. You don't need a different place to get to a different space. Can it be assistive?

Of course. Nature, change of scenery. But only if you do everything else that goes along with it. You know, in Latin, the expression sine qua non, without this, nothing. That is not true when it comes to wanting to change attitude. Changes in latitude, changes in, you know. Jimmy Buffett is right, but he's also drunk, right, at the point of the song.

So it's about what you're going to do to create that change. And it's not as simple as different place. It's not as simple as different place. It's not as simple as distraction. If your goal is actually sustained or sustainable change. I have struggled with this. Almost everything I'm talking to you about is because I've struggled with it. Again, I'm not some guru. It's important that I remember to say this.

Not like that's a shock. Too many of you are looking at these things as if they're answers I've developed or something. No, it's the opposite of that. Learn from what I have learned, even if I don't practice it well. In most cases, I don't practice it well. The struggle is very real for me. None of this is easy. I have given much thought on multiple occasions of whether or not what I'm doing is worth it and worthwhile and worthy. Worth it, meaning the effort, the time, what comes back at me for it, what I get for it. Worthwhile, meaning that on balance, it's a net positive in my life.

And worthy, meaning is this a value in trying to help? Because I'm kind of obsessed with trying to help our condition here. I'm really worried about us as a people. And I'm worried about my own family. I'm worried about my kids. I'm worried about my relationships. I'm worried about me. I'm worried, I'm worried. I'm worried a lot.

And it's not a ski trip to Wyoming away from not being worried. It's about wanting to change your space. And I don't mean where you live at home. Anything can be assistive as a catalyst for change, by the way. Any change. I'm going to clean my car. I'm going to clean my room. All of this stuff has metaphorical value. Don't misunderstand my point. metaphorical value. Don't misunderstand my point. But the idea that, well, I'm going to have to move. In recovery, people talk about people, places, and things. Why? Because just because you move from Chicago to New York does not mean you'll no longer be a drunk. Places, people, and things, which means if you want to change, you've got to change everything.

Because it's all about this and how this applies to everything. Wait, doesn't that mean that you can stay in the same place with the same people and have the same things, but just change your mindset? Right. But I'm saying it's about assistive. It's not a substitute, but it's assistive. And you have to see it that way. Don't expect things to change just because of one aspect of something changing.

You see what I'm saying? You want to get in better shape. Okay. Sleep, food, move. Okay, how about just sleep? Yeah, but it's not the same as if you change the food and change the movement. Okay, how about two? Yeah, even better than one. Not the same as all of it. food and change the movement. Okay. How about two? Yeah.

Even better than one. Not the same as all of it. You understand? That's the point. So don't think about the easy part of change. Think about the hard part of change, which is how you change your mindset and your behavior. Because the different place is really just a distraction. This is about you and your mindset. Kai Greene would be actor, famous bodybuilder.

Thoughts become things. My tweak on that doesn't sound as good as thoughts become things, but it's that thoughts become behaviors. Um, and what you do often, you will do well for better or worse. Eat a lot of cookies. You're going to be good at getting fat. Uh, work out a lot. Practice kindness a lot. You're going to be good to people. Uh, work out a lot. You're going to look good. people. Work out a lot, you're going to look good. Thoughts become things. Much more important than getting on the plane to go somewhere else, because it's all about why you're getting on there and how you're going to be when you get off. We don't fake the funk here, and here's the real talk. Over 40 years of age, 52% of us experience some kind of ED between the ages of 40 and 70. 2% of us experience some kind of ED between the ages of 40 and 70. I know it's taboo, it's embarrassing, but it shouldn't be. Thankfully, we now have HIMS, and it's changing the vibe by providing affordable access to ED treatment, and it's all online. HIMS is changing men's health care. Why? Because it's given you access to affordable and discreet sexual health treatments.

And you do it right from your couch. HIMS provides access to clinically proven, generic alternatives to Viagra or Cialis or whatever. And it's up to like 95% cheaper. And there are options as low as two bucks a dose. HIMS has hundreds of thousands of trusted subscribers. So if ED is getting you down, it's time to pick it up. Start your free online visit today at HIMS.com slash CCP. H-I-M-S.com slash CCP. And you will get personalized ED treatment options hymns.com slash ccp prescriptions

you need an online consultation with a health care provider and they will determine if appropriate restrictions apply you see the website you'll get details and important safety information you're going to need a subscription it's required plus price is going to vary based on product and subscription plan. We don't fake the funk here. And here's the real talk. Over 40 years of age, 52% of us experience some kind of ED between the ages of 40 and 70. I know it's taboo. It's embarrassing, but it shouldn't be. boo, it's embarrassing, but it shouldn't be. Thankfully, we now have HIMS,

and it's changing the vibe by providing affordable access to ED treatment, and it's all online. HIMS is changing men's health care. Why? Because it's giving you access to affordable and discreet sexual health treatments, and you do it right from your couch. HIMS provides access to clinically proven, generic alternatives to Viagra or Cialis or whatever. And it's up to like 95% cheaper.

And there are options as low as two bucks a dose. HIMS has hundreds of thousands of trusted subscribers. So if ED is getting you down, it's time to pick it up. If ED is getting you down, it's time to pick it up. Start your free online visit today at HIMS.com slash CCP. H-I-M-S dot com slash CCP. And you will get personalized ED treatment options. HIMS.com slash CCP.

Prescriptions, you need an online consultation with a healthcare provider. And they will determine if appropriate restrictions apply you see the website you'll get details and important safety information you're going to need a subscription it's required plus price is going to vary based on product and subscription plan now another aspect of that is well you know i need to change the scenery or in changing space you come to the realization and this is really hard and i don't accept this and i don't practice it but i know that it's true my good friend my mentor marshall goldsmith had it not been for his advice i I would have never left ABC News to go to CNN. And no matter what you feel about any media, let alone those outlets, or me and my media

work, that was a huge jump in my career, going to CNN. And I wasn't going to go because people at the network looked down at cable at that time. Now, all the biggest stores are on cable, but it was dicey. I was going to work for somebody who was controversial, and Marshall kind of helped me understand that it was the right move at the right time for the right reasons. So I'm tremendously dependent on his advice. Life is good, he says all the time. Life is good. Now, you can dismiss that as a banality or a cliche. You could also dismiss it as very arrogant. Yeah, for you, successful business consultant all over the world.

But then you arrive at what its true meaning is. Life is always good. Life is good. Why? Because the opposite of that proposition is you're dead. And even if you're in enough pain where you're like, yeah, that's what I want. Well, you may feel like that's what you want, but you're still here. So invest in that because otherwise you would have killed yourself. And second, remember how selfish suicide is. And I understand the pain and I've dealt with people who've tried to take their own lives and who have taken their own lives and who think about taking their own lives. And I get it. I get it. I get how painful this life can be. Inexorably miserable, physically hurting, wanting it to stop,

physically hurting, wanting it to stop, feeling worthless for everyone. But I'll tell you, I can't think of a suicide I've ever been around or covered or experienced where there weren't so many people left in the wreckage just devastated by it. And that really informs the idea of you think you're checking out, but what about the tab that you're leaving on all these people that you care about? Life is good because what's the alternative? That you're dead? Oh yeah, but when it sucks, it sucks. But it's still life. There's still another day. There's still another way. There's still another chance. Now that's about changing your space. That's about changing your perspective.

And that is absolutely choice and evolution of self. It doesn't matter. Yeah, but I'm broke, but they're coming for this couch tomorrow. They turned off my Wi-Fi. Pay your bill. You don't have to worry about that.

Yes, but you still got another chance. You still got another day. Life is a gift. Therefore, life is good because the alternative is to have no opportunity at all. And as long as there's an opportunity, there's a chance. And as long as there's an opportunity, there's a chance.

And as long as there's a chance, there's a chance for better. And I have seen this made manifest by people in every flavor of suck. Life in prison. Dying of, you know, untreatable illness. Going to be executed, just all kinds of human pain. And they are able to have perspective that generates a positivity within them. Amazing. I don't think that I could do it.

In fact, I know that I've had opportunities and I haven't done it. Not to the extent that I should. But this is a really powerful lesson because too often we're looking for shortcuts. Okay? And that's the headline. That's the bottom line.

There are no shortcuts. There is only consistency and constancy and sustained effort and restarting effort, starting again, grinding. That's all there is. Control your attitude. You control your effort. You control certain outcomes, certain ones, not so many. Different place, good. Different space, that's the required change.

And it's not as simple. It's no shortcut. It's about a determination that is coupled with behavior of consistency. And you have to know that because too often people think, well, I'm moving to another city. Now I'll find love. Not if you don't change your perspective on relationships and what's healthy and what isn't and how you are in them or not. Otherwise, you just see how many people you know that get out of one relationship, they wind up in another relationship with like a different flavor or the same flavor of jerk. Why? Because it can't just be about that part.

It's got to be about this part and the sense of self-worth and the work on yourself and the understandings. It's not just a different place. I don't understand. I moved to Los Angeles. I'm still fat. Yeah. Did your behaviors change? Did your habits change? Is your health in check? Different place is not the same as different space. It can help, but there's more to it than that. And you should be okay with that. You shouldn't be bummed that there's not a shortcut. What in life, what that really matters in your life didn't come hard, doesn't take sustained effort. Take some solace in that.

I try to. And I really hope that this is helpful to you. And I'm okay. I appreciate all of you asking. Life is not easy. Life is good. Sure, I'm okay. I appreciate all of you asking. Life is not easy. Life is good. Sure, I accept it. I accept it.

But it's not always easy and that's okay. And I try and I fail. And as of this taping, I'm going to try again. And I hope you do as well. Thank you very much. Subscribe, follow. you do as well. Thank you very much. Subscribe, follow. Appreciate all the feedback.

Appreciate you liking these. It's the only reason I'm doing it, okay? Only reason is that I'm getting good feedback that it's helpful to people. And that's making me feel like I'm putting purpose to my own problems. And that's great. Because if I can help, it's totally worth putting it out there, getting beat up for it, having people take things out of context or say that I'm crazy or whatever they want to say.

It's worth it if it's worthwhile to you. Don't forget News Nation, 8 and 11 o'clock p.m. Eastern time, okay? And I really appreciate everything and I wish you well. Take care of yourself.