The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Amira Alvarez, Founder and CEO of The Unstoppable Woman

Episode Date: May 23, 2020

Amira Alvarez, Founder and CEO of The Unstoppable Woman Theunstoppablewoman.com

Hi folks, Chris Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com, thechrisvossshow.com. Hey, come in here with another great podcast. We certainly appreciate you guys tuning in. Be sure to go to thecvpn.com and check in to all nine of the podcasts that we have over there. You can subscribe to any one of them. There's a whole mess of wonderful education that you can get there, chrisvosspodcastnetwork.com. You can also go to youtube.com forward slash Chris Voss.

Hit that bell notification. You can see all the wonderful videos we have of all the wonderful books, authors, speakers, trainers, CEOs, all the different people that have been on the Chris Voss show over the years. There's over 500 episodes on the Chris Voss show, the podcast. So you can go there. You can learn so much. And besides, you know, you're sitting around at home.

Why not educate yourself? You might learn some great things to start a new business, career, or all sorts of good stuff. And we have a wonderful guest today that can maybe help you with some of the issues that are coming with this pandemic that we're dealing with right now, give you some ideas, motivate you, et cetera, et cetera. Her name is Amira Alvarez. She is the founder and CEO of The Unstoppable Woman. It's a global coaching company helping entrepreneurs, empire builders, athletes, creatives, and rising stars in all fields, helping them achieve their dreams and goals in record time. As someone who's made a quantum leap going from barely making six figures

to making $700,000 in one year, then on to seven figures, she has lived to tell about it and she knows exactly what tactical strategies and mindset shifts are required to get out of your own way. Live life on your own terms and master the art of achieving any goal that you set your mind to. All right, welcome to the show, Amir. We're glad to have you on. How are you doing today? I'm super. How are you, Chris? Awesome sauce. So give us some of the plugs where people can look you up on the interwebs while we're going through the interview here today. Sure, of course. So the best place to find me is the unstoppable woman.com. That's our website. And you can find lots of resources there.

If you go to the unstoppable woman.com slash free stuff, tons of resources for people. And then the unstoppable woman.com slash listen is our podcast. And of course you can find us on all the podcast channels. We got some great content for people in those two places. And then all the social media channels, either under Amira Alvarez or the unstoppable woman. Check it out.

Awesome sauce. And so you've got all this great stuff on there and this is a great for people right now that are thinking about doing some changing in their lives, kind of being forced upon them by what's going on with the coming sort of recession, depression we're moving into. And it's going to create some opportunities for people that want to do some different things. So let's get into it. Let's, to give us a little bit of background on yourself, where you came from, what brought

you here and what motivated you to become the unstoppable woman? Absolutely. So here's my story in a nutshell. Great upbringing, nice middle-class upbringing. This is not a rags to riches story by any means, but I was someone who was playing by the rules. I was, you know, getting the good grades, went to the good college, worked hard, got the good job, all of that stuff that we have

been told is what's going to help us have a great and amazing life. And sure enough, I had a really, really good life, but there was always something inside of me that was like, oh, I'm made for more. I want more. I want to create something of huge impact, help the world, all of this stuff. And yet I was stuck working my ass off 12, 14, 16 hour days. And it's not that I don't believe in diligence or putting the effort in. Anyone who's an entrepreneur, anyone who's trying to go do something great in this world, whether you're working for a corporation or you have your own personal goals, you have to put the effort in. Diligence is part of it. But I was working really hard

and I had this like light bulb moment where I was like, I cannot double my work hours to double my income. Like that was just not going to work. Right. Like you have to sleep and eat, you know, every now and then.

Absolutely. Sorry. I've got something in here. Um, and it was like a light bulb one way. It was like a face palm thing. Like, come on already.

Like this, this isn't going to scale. Like I can't, I can't do this. So yet when I looked out there in the greater world, there were people who had massive levels of success and everyone defined success differently, whether it's in your relationship, your health, your finances, whatever, you know, rubric you're using. I was really leveled out at good, but not great. And how was I going to take it to the next level? I, the two things I had were like, I'm smart, and I work hard. But I had been smart, and I'd

been working hard all my life. And it wasn't, you know, it wasn't shifting. And I kept going back and back, like, it was like, hitting your head against the wall. Like, I kept going back and back. Like it was like hitting your head against the wall. Like I kept going back to these two things. I knew I could be an intellect and I could work really hard and sort things out. But anyways, at that point I was like, okay, I have to wake up here. This isn't working. And I went and I searched for what creates success. And I studied from people and I went in a deep dive and then I really applied the stuff that I was learning. And that year I went from one 38 to 700 K and I share that because I think it's important for people to hear that it's possible. It doesn't happen for everyone.

Yeah. Potential where the sky is. You can work hard and you can be smart, but the key is to work smart. Yeah, and it's work smart and you have to see things differently than you've been seeing them. You can't use the same lens to do it differently than you've always been using. And I think this is pertinent, Chris, to your intro and what we were talking about, about the COVID-19 pandemic and what's happening for people and how it's impacting people. And they're using the same lens that they've always used to approach what's happening right now. And you have, I mean, it's a little overused, like you have to pivot.

And it's true, you do have to pivot. But the truth is, you have to start seeing the world differently, using a different belief structure in order to see different opportunities that are here right now that have been invisible to you up until now. Most people just get trained. They're just like, hey, dad, what do you know? Go to college. What do you know? I got a college. Get a job. You know, most people just have this mindset that they're trained, unfortunately, from their poor parents that, you know, you just get a job and then you hope for the best. And it's like you give your power over to the outside world. Yeah. And then you're just their puppet at that point because you're just like, you know, and I'll meet people and I'll be like, so you lost your job?

And they're like, yeah, I lost my job. What are job what are you gonna do i'm gonna get a new job so you gotta go beg someone for a job i mean i don't mean to put it that necessarily that way but it's really it's kind of what it is um i mean i can't imagine asking someone for a job would you like would you like to hire me because i know what they're gonna say they're gonna say no the uh have you seen yourself lately, Chris? Have you seen your resume, sir? You've owned your own company since 18. We're not going to hire you.

You're not good as a worker bee. That's what they're going to tell me. But no, you're right. And what you show there, going from, I think you said, $138,000 a year to upwards of $700,000 and then beyond that, it really shows the potential of what you have. And, of course, one of the great things about being self-employed is you get other people to work for you. And you expand the people that are getting you blasted out and doing it.

And that's really the exponentiating factor that, that makes it awesome. Cause I remember sitting around my company and we got to a hundred employees and I'm like, yeah, this is pretty cool. I got a hundred employees doing all my work. So I think I'm going to go golfing today. Leverage there.

Leverage. There you go. That's the word we're looking for leverage. So you've built a great speaking career. You've got your podcast. It's got a lot of great information on it. And give us a rundown of what you do for people, yourself, and your clients. Sure, of course.

So fundamentally, I help ambitious, driven people who have hit some sort of plateau in their life or business reach their big freaking goals, like what they think is impossible or what they think is going to take 30 years to actually do it in a shorter amount of time. So close the gap in time. And the majority of my clientele are entrepreneurs, solo entrepreneurs, small business owners, though I work with people in all fields and all industries and people who work in corporations as well. But the commonality is they know that they're hitting an upper limit in their lives and it's uncomfortable. It's not what they want.

They can see what they want. They can see what they want. They can describe what they want, but they keep hitting this invisible block where they can't move past this plateau. And there's a story behind it that they make up to explain why. And yet when the, you know, yes. So I'm going to say, yes, it's an excuse, but it's also the way our brains work. Okay. Can I, can I riff on that for a moment? Okay. So some of your listenership will know this already and some of it, this will be new. So we have a subconscious, our subconscious is our subconscious mind. It's one job in this world is the maintenance of the individual, meaning its job is to keep you alive. Okay? That's it. And if it thinks that you are doing something you've never

done before, i.e. change, grow, do something new, scary, different, it's going to find whatever reason you will agree with, not something that seems ridiculous, but something that's very, very, very, like acceptable and reasonable to you for you not to do that. It will convince you that this is not a good thing for you to do. So you never change, even though consciously you think I need to do this in my business. I need to do this in my business. I need to do this in my life. I know what I need to do, but you're not acting on it or you're finding a bunch of other things to do, or you're saying you don't have the money or the time or the, you know, your parents need you or your kids need you or whatever

it is. There's always something. And then you realize you're in the same place and it's two years, three years, four years later. Yep. Yep. I think that's going on with my book I'm writing right now. Yeah, there you go. But you know, we all have these belief systems that we establish in life. And like you say, we have these, I think I remember Tony Robbins years ago calling it the thermostat system, uh, or, or was, uh, somebody in that genre of self-motivation where, you know, your brain, your subconscious mind kind of keeps you at that thermostat level where you're comfortable. If you kind of get uncomfortable or, you know, like you talked about how you kind of throw some stuff at you, like a lot of times when people go on diets, their body wait are you trying to kill us uh you're you're not eating here this die has diet has the word die in it trying to what's going on man we're gonna make you hungry um you know and and so and so we have to keep resetting those levels and adjusting them and that's what people like you do is they they work

with people they coach them they they help them, they take a look. Because one of the things we do when we establish these belief systems, we establish a lot of scotomas where we create blind spots, where we don't see what's blocking us. Yeah. And we hit up against those. Absolutely.

That thing that you're talking about that you're referencing, it's called your cybernetic mechanism. It's like a thermostat. Or, you know, think of it. Here's a really great way of seeing it. So you have a rocket ship and it's going to the moon, right? You've set the GPS for the moon. Okay. Well, there's a mechanism in that rocket that will go a little bit left, a little bit right. If it goes too far to the left, it will come back to the

center. If it goes too far to the right, it'll come back to the center and it will always reach its target. Okay. Now your self image, who you see yourself as, which was set when you were very, very young. Okay. When your mind was an open fishbowl to your environment and you didn't have the ability to reject the things outside of you. You could, you were, you were meaning making machine and you were trying to make the best sense of what was happening to you. And you created this meaning. And let's say it's, a common one is like, I'll always be disappointed. Right. Cause you, you,

you ask mommy for something or you ask daddy for something and they have money problems. So they say, you know, money doesn't grow on trees. And like, who do you think you are asking for that or whatever it is, you know? And so you have this thing, I can't ask for what I want. I'm always going to be disappointed if I asked for something. Comes out in a lot of different ways. That's just a simple example.

So now you have a self-image that says, I'm always going to be disappointed. I shouldn't ask for what I want. And a self-fulfilling prophecy. Well, that's exactly right. Because your subconscious is then that cybernetic mechanism. Here's the goal. It knows I'm always going to be disappointed. I can't ask for what I want. And anytime you start asking for what you want, it's going to be like, nope. You know, like if you start going this way, it's going to say no, no, no, no, no. If you start reaching your sales goals, right, and you're not disappointed anymore, the next month you're not going to reach your sales goals because you've gone way too far above your set point. And you start doing stuff to sabotage and you know that's it's always it's always fun so you help work with clients help coach them uh do they work with you one-on-one do you have a team uh how

does that work yeah lots of different ways so i i work with people in groups high-level masterminds and and then i also work one-on-one with people in immersion programs and private coaching, VIP days. And both work extremely well, and it sort of depends on what the person is really looking for and what kind of support they need and where they're going, what they need in terms of what the best fit is. And a coach is just like a consultant.

And a lot of times we can't see what, what are they called? Ketomas, which are blind spots that we have where we don't really realize what's interfering with us or holding us back. And so it helps to have that third party who comes in and goes, well, here it is right here. There you go. Um, and, uh, you know, I, I used to always tell my people, my company, I don't care whose idea it is. I just want the great idea to innovate or create or, or make the difference or make something work better. Um, uh, but being able to have that, uh, sort of looking for brain, that brain source brain, um, group of people that can come to you and go, here's some better ways to do some stuff that you haven't noticed. And you're like, Oh yeah, that's a, that's a great way to do it. So you also have a three day summit too that you take and do. Yeah, absolutely. So the summit is the next one is happening in November.

Fingers crossed, right? Like hopefully that's going to be in San Diego. It's called the Unstoppable Women's Summit. And it's three days. We go through how to really claim your big goals and execute on them. How do you bridge the gap from where you are now to where you want to be and find the fastest path to that and really get out of your own way and start recognizing where those blocks are and moving through them. And one cool thing you had on your website, this stuck out at me, well, you had a whole lot of details on the podcasts and webinars and digital workshops you're doing, different things like how to make more income, how to make an income breakthrough, increasing your focus and your bottom line, how to make the impossible possible, increase your sales or conversions, stop playing small.

Your dreams require more of you. True influence requires self-ownership. And then you had 15, let me see if I can pull it up here, 15 different ways to become a better person, I guess. I'm trying to find it here on my list. You probably know it better than I can. Is it the Become Unstoppable? Yeah, yeah. 15 Ways to Become Unstoppable.

I must have clicked on something and moved away from it. So you have a lot of great resources, the podcast and everything else. What are some of the 15 ways that you can utilize to become better at what you do? Here it is. The 15 ways to become unstoppable. Yeah. Number one is become a quick decider. That's a great thing to take and do.

This is your blueprint. Yeah. Do you want me to speak to that? Yeah, if you would, please. Sure. So I think this is one of the fundamental things that like when I, when I watch people who are successful, they decide quickly and they change that. They don't change their mind very often. They might course correct, like they have their big goal, but they might, and they might course correct the small little details on how to get there, but they decide on what they want, and they go do it. And whether that's like hiring someone, investing in something, going, someone invites them to do something, they say yes. They see the opportunity, and they immediately say yes to it.

And part and parcel of this, Chris, is trusting yourself. Most people don't trust themselves. They don't actually know how to make a good decision for themselves. So then they don't decide and they slow down with their decision-making process. And they go into the pros and the cons and three weeks, three months go by. Heck, that opportunity is long past at that point. Definitely. Definitely.

Okay. So really you have to learn how to decide quickly and you have to learn how to plug into your intuition and start trusting yourself. And you just, you just have to go for it most times. I mean, you do have to be smart sometimes about how you do it, but you know, I met people that they spend years making a business plan and you'll be like, Hey,

how's the business going? I'm still working on the plan. It's like, you've been doing that for five years. It's going to be the perfect plan. Yeah. And here's the thing. It's not actually,

because the moment you start going into action and putting it in, into on the field of play, you will notice, actually, this is a weakness, or this needs to be built, or we need to course correct around here, and the clientele don't need this. They need this. And that plan's going out the window in three months once it's put on the field of play. Not entirely, but much of it. It definitely happens. I mean, I've seen it in my

crazy stories people have heard on the podcast here. Number two, move towards the resistance. Oh, that's a good one, Chris. Should I go for it? Yeah, go for it. Oh, you can finish reading. Doing the things you fear and the things you don't want to. Yeah.

So here's the thing. When you are going to change and become more and make faster decisions and close the gap on time and you're just like amping up your experience of life, you will know what to do. And then you'll be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to do that. Whether it's, you know, sometimes it's making sales calls. Sometimes it's putting yourself out there on social media. Sometimes it's, you know, writing that proposal, right? There's something that you're resisting, you're procrastinating over. Go do that thing. That's actually the thing that you need to do. The resistance shows you that's where you need to move towards, not away. Kind of a signal that's where, you know, you're being held back maybe? Correct. Yeah.

It's how your subconscious is getting you to stop. This one I like that a lot of people are kind of afraid to do. Number three, pick up the phone. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can send emails to people like i used to meet people and i'd be like hey are you still out of that job and they're like yeah man i haven't gotten any work i'm like well where did you apply and they're like i faxed like 20 you know 30 faxes and you're like

did you ever fall off you like call or anything or just you just kind of thought that manna would fall from heaven if you sent 30 faxes. Well, yeah. You're dating yourself, Chris, with the faxes. Oh, my God. I'm telling you, and my audience thinks I'm 20. But, no, picking up the phone is a great way, especially with emails, because we do so much emailing, so much of it ends up in people's spam boxes.

It's not even funny. Invest in yourself. Buy the thing. Go to the event. Hire the next level team member. Upgrade your systems. Elevate your wardrobe or environment. Invest in yourself. That's a good tip. Absolutely. So I think people have a lot of money stories, right? They get caught up in like, I'm going to run out of money. I don't have the money to do this. Is it going to have good return on investment? And I'm not advocating for not looking at your cashflow or, or making smart decisions, but oftentimes, I mean, the adage, you have to, you know, spend money to make money is, is not entirely untrue. Like you have to be

smart about it, but you also can't beat yourself up for making mistakes. Like how, how many team members have you hired that have not worked out? Right? Like, like it's, it's like one of the hardest things to do. You do all the due diligence and you, you think you, you've asked all the right questions and you get the good vibe. And then you're like, oh, that didn't work. And you've spent time and effort and energy and money on this person. And then you're like, oh, that didn't work. And you've spent time and effort and energy and money on this person. And yet you had to do that in order to get to the next person who then is like the spot on team member who's incredible. And that person then helps you grow your business, your life, all of that. And it's true, whether it's team members or like for me, a lot of my stuff was

around, I'm not worthy of, you know, flying first class. I'm not worthy of, let's go even before that. Let's, let's not even go to that place. Let's go to, I'm not worthy of paying for manicure. Okay. Like $45. Like I would not spend money on myself. And yet that was so much a part of my path into stepping into being someone I really enjoyed being. I wanted to look good and feel good and all of that, but I wasn't willing to expend the time or energy or money on it. And maybe a manicure isn't what you want or what another woman wants or whatever, but it was important to me and I wasn't willing to do it. So I had to learn how to invest in myself.

And there's self-care too. I mean, you've got to take care of yourself on the ride. The, you know, you've got to, you've got to protect your investment because you are, especially if you're an entrepreneur, your number one investment. And so feeling good, you know, being able to take care of the things that you want and being able to take care of yourself are important. And, of course, you're the image of your business as well. Reframe experience.

As Napoleon Hill often says, opportunity comes disguised in the form of misfortune or temporal. Evidently, one of my eschatomas is spelling. Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune or temporary defeat. It's temporal, temporary. It's all right. It's all good. This is such a big one for people and i sort of touched on this a little bit already you're gonna make a mistake you're gonna make a thousand and one mistakes you're gonna make ten thousand and one mistakes you know it's like this is the human experience and if you judge yourself and say you are horrible wrong bad, bad, shameful, and feel guilt around every mistake that you make, you will keep yourself from ever trying something again. It will stop you. And so you really have to

look at it. And it's not to say you don't learn from your mistakes or take responsibility or ownership at them. Absolutely. You want to do that. But then you also have to look and you have to see, well, what in this experience can I learn from? What's going to help me grow? What's the opportunity here? Because there's always a huge opportunity within everything. So it's a big one for me. Number six is closing the gap on time. Similar to number one, making decisions

quickly. You know, take advantage of those opportunities. You get them, right? Yeah. So here's one of the things that I'm constantly working with my clients on because it's a skitoma. It's that blind spot. Okay. They'll say something like, okay, yep, I'll do that. I'll call them next week. I'm like, next week? How about this afternoon? How about after this call? Right? But it's like a thing. Like people are like, well, I've got this on my calendar and I'll do that. I'll call him next week. I'm like next week. How about this afternoon? How about after this call? Right. And, but it's like a thing, like people are like, well, I've got this on my calendar and I'll do it then. But what happens is then, then gets pushed and we get distracted and all of that.

And of course everything's not primary importance. You can't do everything now you'll make yourself crazy, but those critical needle moving things, let's close the gap on that. Let's, let's do it. Like just say, okay, I'll do that now. There you go. There you go. Uh, so just start, uh, act on your desires and fantasies. So that's pretty interesting. Yeah. So here's the thing. I'll talk about desires and then I'll talk about fantasies. So our desires, I believe that desire is causative, meaning it's how we know the direction that we're supposed to be going in. And it's the way our purpose, if you will, speaks to us. Okay. It's the way our life map speaks to us. And it's through these small and large desires. So a small desire might be like, hey, I want those shoes. A large desire might be, hey, he's a nice looking man, right?

Like, or that's the, I want to be an Oscar winning, you know, actress, right? Like you can have big and small desires. And they, they, if you start following them, they point you, they're the breadcrumbs that lead you to a bigger life. And then the fantasy bit is that most people don't acknowledge that they have fantasies and whether we're talking sexual fantasies, I'm like, that's part of it. It's like, what is that telling you about your life and what you want? But also like,

what do you fantasize about? But don't tell anyone that's not sexual. That's like, you know, maybe you really want to be on stage. Like you really want to be speaking to people and, and you have this secret fantasy to do that. But you're,

you haven't told anyone about what are those things because they lead the way to to your purpose yeah one of my one of my kind of things that was kind of like i don't know if you call it a fantasy it was like the it was like the far goal and i remember seeing uh the ceo of netscape uh mark andreessen and he he had built the world's largest sailboat and the thing was i don't know a billion dollars or something stupid i remember seeing Mark Andreessen, and he had built the world's largest sailboat. And the thing was, I don't know, a billion dollars or something stupid. I remember seeing the article of him. And I always thought, you know, I don't think I'm going that far because there's a bit of luck to that,

especially with going public with the company, especially in the technology field that they went into. But, you know, I was like, if I could do that, that would be freaking awesome. Have you done it? I'm still working on it. I've got like a little paper sailboat that I'm

but I do have I do have being an Oscar winning actress on my bucket list. Number nine, create the time for things. Yeah. So you got to create the time for things. Like if you want something, you actually have to create the time for things. Yeah. So you got to create the time for things. Like if you want something, you actually have to create the time for it. I know.

Isn't it shocking? But so many people say, oh, I want that, but I'm so busy I can't do that. And that's just BS. It means that you either don't want it badly enough or you've got a subconscious block around going after what you want. Because if it, and really those are often part and parcel of the same thing. They're not always separate,

but like if you want something badly enough and you don't have that, uh, internal block around it, you will create the time. Haven't you had that experience, Chris? Yeah. You've kind of been resisting something. You've been blocked around it.

Something clicks into gear, and suddenly you're on it and doing it. Yeah. The time was always there. It wasn't like your work life just instantaneously opened up. You created that time because you wanted it badly enough now. And you nailed it on the head. There are times, especially when I have a high energy level and I'm really focused,

and I'll like beat into whatever that item is. And then I'll get it done. I'll be like, geez, that was so easy. Like why did I put that on for so long? Learn and live laws. I think this one's an interesting point here. There are seven universal laws of success. Uh, learn and live laws. I think this one's an interesting point here. Uh, it's a, this, there's seven universal laws of success and, uh, learn and live laws.

Yeah. So this is one of the things that I really learned and studied and mastered when I was making my big quantum leap and, and continue to teach from and, uh, study and apply. So there are seven fundamental foundational universal laws that govern the universe. And they are, when you understand how to work them, the mechanism of them, and you live your life according to them,

as opposed to against them, like pushing, like pretending like they don't exist kind of thing, everything becomes easier so a good analogy of this would be like the law of gravity it's there whether you understand it or not i'm totally against the law of gravity especially as i get older i'm not like it i'm i'm i'm again i'm petitioning against it i have a i have a gofundme or whatever online do you have one of those inversion machines, right?

I do, yeah. It turns me over at night and I'm like, screw gravity. So it works whether you understand that law. Sure. I don't understand. I could not explain gravity, but I know that when I drop this pen, it's going to fall to the ground. My experiential knowledge is there. Yeah.

My face is working on that gravity program. So understand the laws of cause and effect. That's important. This is number 11. Take personal responsibility to the laws of cause and effect. And, you know, and I love this one. This is one of my favorite ones that I always talk to about entrepreneurs being self-actualized. Yeah.

Yeah. So you have to be fully expressed as yourself. And this can be a really super scary thing for people. I know that when I started this journey, one of the things that kept going on in my head was like and I didn't really have the words for it Chris but I I was like I'm so worried about what other people think I'm like turning outside of myself to figure out what's right and and what I should do and what's right and wrong and like it feel I felt so trapped around it. And the funny story around this, that's embarrassing, but I share it anyways, because I think it like shows how like off the defense I was.

There was one point where I looked over at my dog who was like doing dog things. Okay. And I was like, Oh, I wonder if, if he's upset at me because I didn't do blah, blah, blah. Like, what the friggety-frick? Okay? Like, my dog is not in judgment. Can I tell you? Okay? Like, my dog is not going, you're right, you're wrong. You should be ashamed of that.

Right? It's just crazy. Are you wearing that today? Yeah, totally. That sort of thing. You know? Seriously? Are you wearing those shoes with that dress?

Yeah, that's no good man i think that's a cat that does that though it's more the cat that that does that does the judging dogs like give me a treat it was such a freaking wake-up call chris you know because i was i did not know how to to make good decisions for myself because it was so much based on what other people said, what society said, what was out there. And so I was always contorting myself, quite frankly, to fit into someone else's mold. And you can't be you in this world and grow and make clear decisions if you are not owning yourself. And that was a big part of my breakthrough in terms of finances as well.

And you can get in the trap of trying to be what you think you should be or I got in the trap of what I thought a CEO should be or what someone who's ultra rich should be and do and own. And, and then you kind of wake up one day and you're like, well, this party runs as long as I'm paying for it. But the only reason anyone likes me is, is because I am. And then you end up owning shit that owns you. And, and you're just like,

I don't even like half this stuff. It's like, I'm just doing this to impress people that, uh, I love the old fight club line that does impress people that, that don't, you're, you know,

you buy all this stuff to impress people that they don't care. Um, and, and, and there are people, I think women struggle with this more just because of the way they're, they're designed. Um, and God bless them.

But I think they struggle more with what people think of them, and they're a little bit more concerned about that than men are. Men are just kind of like, I'm just going through. And there are a lot of people that think that's one thing that holds them up. They feel people are judging and they're like, well, if I do something wrong or I make a mistake, everyone's going to see it and they're going to be like, Oh, there's an idiot over there. I remember. Yeah. And, and it traps you. And fortunately, most of us as we get older,

we kind of realized that most people really just don't give a crap about football. Like, I remember, I think I had one of my exes say it. She's like, you need to dress up before we go to the restaurant. And I'm like, why? I can afford to go to the oyster bar. You know, I worked really hard. I did all this hard work. I'm going on my shorts and I don't care.

She's like, well, people see you, they'll judge you. And I'm like, everyone's not sitting at the oyster bar going, Chris is here. It's time to review Chris and look at his fashion statement that he's making. So there's that, you know, but it's definitely important. Let's see. I think we're at look at your results. Look at your results. If you're not getting results you want, guess what? You're in the story. The excuse or some lie that helps you stay exactly where you are in a safe place. Yeah. So this is important. So you know how we've been talking

about the blind spot, the skitoma, the belief patterns, the subconscious programming, all of that that keeps you hitting that same level over and over again and not getting the results you want. The way to know if you're in a story, if you're in that sort of psycho cybernetics, like self-leveling experience is to look at your results. It's really super simple. But if you've been getting the same results that you've been getting for the last three months, six months, two years, 10 years, if you keep saying at the beginning of the year, I'm going to start the new fitness routine. I'm going to let go of the weight. I'm going to grow my business X amount. I'm going to

have a better relationship, whatever that is. I don't care what that is, but if you keep saying you want, want something, but you keep getting basically the same results, you're, you're locked in a story. You're trapped.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm still working with my script writers on mine, but that's why people hire people like you is to write better, improve that script, take it to the next level. Number 13, better your best. Yeah.

Better you, better you, better you. No, I'm just kidding. Better your best. You can always, this is about always growing to the next level and living in the growth mindset. Yeah, because you've always got to go to the next level. And then, of course, there are changes that come at you from life and business that you've got to adjust to as well. Like I always thought that once I got successful in business, it's kind of like, I just mucked that trajectory for 40 years. But it's not.

Business changes, life changes, circumstances change, and you have to adopt or and adapt or both also also i would say if you don't keep growing you're dying you've heard that before you're either creating or you're disintegrating okay and we don't this there's a mess of balance or homeostasis or like i'm gonna get there and then i'm gonna retire well guess No, you have to keep growing. Otherwise you will emotionally be miserable. Okay. So that's what bettering your best. I mean,

it helps your business bottom line, but it also helps your psychology as well. And it keeps you on the edge. I love Warren Buffett saying that he'll retire seven years after he dies. So I'm going with that. Probably have to actually at this point. Number 14, have integrity. Treat everyone with respect, whether they're the assistant or the CEO, busboy or the owner.

This is really important, I think. Absolutely. I don't, like, here's the thing. It seems so obvious, but oftentimes people are very status oriented and they get caught up in ego and it's just not pretty. Okay. It doesn't serve you. Doesn't serve the world. And if anyone on my team tells me one of my clients has treated them poorly, like I'm, I'm like, whoa, okay. We're having a conversation or, or if it's totally egregious, which that has never actually happened where it's been over the frigging top, they would just wouldn't be a client anymore. Like it's like,

I'm, I don't, I'm, I'm very pleased that I don't attract people like that, but I'm just not available for people who treat other people poorly. Now, this doesn't mean that different people have different roles and responsibilities and all of that, but there's respect. And I've seen that with CEOs that I've studied or worked with. It almost is in itself a destructive skitome almost isn't a self, a destructive, uh, skitome or a pattern that they have a sabotage that they have. I mean, I've met some CEOs that their, their path of destruction is is barely staying behind their avalanche of success. And you're just like,

you're really not that far off from hitting the wall. Uh, Steve jobs was a lot of that way um he wasn't quite as destructive he was very destructive to staff and people um and uh well and actually to a few other people i believe his daughter and etc etc um but there you know some people have that integrity is a real uh important thing to do because if your head gets lost in the ego game, you can really either have an inflated value of yourself. Um, that becomes kind of, uh, just beyond the world of fantasy. And then you're out of touch with reality and you don't see what's coming at you until the, uh, until that train comes down the pike. Number 15, last one here in your 15 list,

master the mental aspect of success. I really love these. You have leverage over your subconscious programming and stop sabotaging your success. Yeah. So we've talked a little bit about this already, but there's just so much to this. You have to manage your mindset because if let's say, let's say you make a mistake, your ego, going back to the previous one, your ego gets the best of you. You're all like got this high sense of self and not that that's bad. I think everyone needs to like and love themselves quite frankly. frankly, but not in a I'm better than you kind of way. Okay. So, but let's say there's a mistake, misstep, you're tired, you're something bad happened, you're grumpy. And, you know, it's the first time in 10 years and you snap at someone.

Okay. Are you going to crucify yourself in that moment and stop yourself from any growth? That would not be having a mental aspect for success. Okay. Like the, the, the way to frame it or look at it is to own use that personal responsibility piece. I own that. I, that was a misstep. That was a mistake. That's not who I want to be. That's not who I am at my core. Apologize, learn what you need to do differently. Maybe I need more sleep. Maybe I need to not have so much on my plate. Maybe I need to frame the conversation differently at the beginning so I don't get triggered, whatever it is.

And then let it go. Yeah. Okay. And, and learn from it. That's how to manage your mindset. But so many people, and there's so many, that's just one example, but there's so many people who, who get stuck in the rumination, get stuck in the self flagellation, the personal judgment, the voices in their head, and they can't then keep going. That's where they stop. That's why I have multiple personalities. It helps segment the voices in their head and they can't then keep going. That's where they stop. That's why I have multiple personalities. It helps segment the voices in my head.

But no, you're definitely right. That's what I love about being self-employed. You really have to self-actualize and you have to have a lot of responsibility. If you don't, you're going to have some problems. But it makes you get really clear. And if you don't, it probably will make you get really clear on you better know who you are. You better know what you're responsible to. And one other point to that that I was reminded about, it can affect you and your business, too, if you don't perform with integrity and a good moral sort of compass and how you treat other human beings. You know, I have a lot of friends who write books. They speak and everything. And you'll hear these whisper things where you'll hear about the reputation because you'll

be like, you know, that guy who goes up and tells how to be the greatest human being and love everyone and hug and all that kind of crap. You should see what they do to their assistants if they screw up behind the stage or something and they just tear somebody like i've had there's some stories that gone around about how they've they've torn their people up just destroyed them backstage and like with people watching and then people just go you're a freaking fraud totally and it affects their business and stuff absolutely i think there's two things on this that i want to share one stress is real um but that's still unacceptable if you're you need to walk your talk

yeah and one of the biggest complex i am not perfect chris okay i just want to raise my hand and say i'm not perfect okay i'll join you but one of yeah then i'm not perfect, Chris. Okay. I just want to raise my hand and say I'm not perfect. Okay. I'll join you. Yeah. Then I'm not perfect. Not that you're not perfect. I don't know you well enough, but I'll take your word for it. But one of the biggest compliments I had ever in my career was I was at an event. I was on stage.

I was teaching. It was one of these summits that I do. And one of my staff members, she was a contractor at the time. She's now an employee, but she was a contractor who had worked for me for a couple of years at that point, came to the event as an attendee. She was really interested in what I was doing and came as an attendee. And I was talking about this very thing. Okay. And people were asking questions and she basically said the same thing that you said, like, I work with so many people in this industry and they say this thing, but then they treat you

like crap behind the scenes. And the thing that I, the reason I'm here in this room is because Amira doesn't do that. And I was like, kind of like my ego got a little bit big. I have to admit, but I was like, Oh, that's such a great reflection. Cause I don't like, I'm not thinking about that. I'm holding myself to a high standard, but I'm not thinking that I'm so different from any everyone. But I think that this is a big, there's actually a really big problem in the transformational

coaching industry in general, the lack of integrity in walking your talk. And also just in life in general. Again, I'm not saying that you have to be perfect and crucify yourself if you're not, but there is like, you know, when you're not, crucify yourself if you're not but there is like you know when you're not you know when you're not walking the talk yeah and sometimes you gotta apologize and be like i'm sorry man i just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and and uh didn't have my coffee and and uh i was liking it too uh that snl bit with Chris Farley where he grabs the – it was Dana Carvey? No, he grabs the other gentleman and he goes,

and one of my favorite shirts when I was going through veganism was, please forgive me for the things I say while I'm starving or something. Henry is real, right? Henry is real, yeah. We've all been there. We've had those moments. But, you know, like you say, consistency and stuff like that. Sue, great tips that you have there.

You've got a lot of other good stuff that, you know, we could probably be reading through your website for a while. Lots of wonderful free stuff, action items, the speed scaling, the jumpstart your income breakthrough. You go through that in your podcast as well. So it's great. You have this wonderful material people can engage with and they can go to the unstoppable woman.com.

You have the business bootcamp, the summit. I hope that goes off well. I've got my fingers crossed as well for different events happening in the end this year. And then I have my big show CS in January that I'm hoping they're going to have testing for. I'm going to cry if they cancel that show. I'll be in tears.

Great stuff. How long have you been doing this, Amir? About six years. Nice. It's been so much fun. The business keeps growing. I love my clients. It lights me up every single day that this is what I get to do in this world.

And to see, like, see people really step forward. And it's not just me that's had the success, right? Like, there are people who are just starting out in their career, and they're now, like, they're going from the 5K month to the 10K month. That's huge for them. And then other people who have gone from sort of similar, even better than what I did went from 188 to 1.2 in one year. That was a fricking like, you know, um, and I just get so much, but let me step back from the money stuff.

Cause you know, as entrepreneurs, we, entrepreneurs we we do you know we're in business like we let's not shy away from the money stuff but fundamentally it's like my clients get to live at such a higher level they they start like we were talking about like they start liking themselves and they start loving themselves and they stop feeling trapped and like they they like they have to contort themselves to to get by in life and they start being freaking in charge of their world and they're no longer like trapped and feeling afraid and i love that yeah it's awesome i mean it's it's amazing because we always think of people that make a lot of money or the successful that they're perfect and they've got it all their shit all figured out. And that's not true.

I mean, you can be making three million dollars a year and you can be unhappy as shit. I think that's where I've been. And you're just like, why does everyone hate me? I thought the more successful I would be, the more people would like me. But it seems like I just can never do enough for anybody. And, you know, so we all go through that. And it's fun to see people start out. One of the things that hopefully will come out of this crisis we're going through is,

and people in my tech community, people in Silicon Valley that I'm friends with, are already starting to talk about this. After the great recession that we had in 2008, a whole lot of wonderful dynamic new technologies and new entrepreneurs came onto the scene and all these people, it forced them into an opportunity to create new things. We talked about this pre-show. There's probably going to be a lot of divorces happening. So there's going to be a lot of people, you know, recreating their lives and maybe starting anew, maybe starting some new businesses, getting out of molds that they had before. And so there's, you know, there's going to be a lot of destruction, but I don't know about your life, but I've been through some destruction in mind, some catharsis moments that have torn me down, rebuilt me and put me on some better pathways.

I certainly went through that in 2008, which kind of makes me more comfortable with what's going on right now because I live through that. And I adjusted and changed in my trajectory. And so now I can look at this and go, I think I could be OK as long as I don't get that virus. But even then, maybe I'll survive that too. Who knows? I'm going to do whatever I can to stay out of it. So anything more we need to know, Amira, about you and what you guys are doing there? Really, you know, if people are interested in self-actualization in the form of growing their business,

reach out to me. I'd love to talk to you. Okay. This is, this is my bailiwick. This is what I help people do, help them get out of their own way and really rock it out and, and become unstoppable, which doesn't mean that you're perfect. Okay. But it does mean that you close the gap on time and you you move through those internal self-sabotages so much quicker awesome sauce so you can reach out to her at the unstoppable woman.com you can listen to her podcast you can get in with her business coaching you can attend her summit and webinars and things and uh she's got a lot of great recommendations too here on her website blog post she has her own blog too as well and uh yeah man this is a great time you know i i i when i hear that people are just sitting around vegging out on some of this stay home stuff you know maybe their employer has

said here's some money here's some unemployment money just stay home for you know a month or two and people are like oh we're we're going to sit and catch up on, you know, game of Thrones or something. No, man, this is a great time to reinvest in yourself and, and maybe either get better at what you're currently doing with your company and, and learn some more education so you can provide more value and make more money and maybe move up the ranks or start a new business. I mean, this is usually in times like this, there's a lot of opportunity. There's a lot of volatile change that's going to take place. And there's a lot of new models that we're going to have to

look at. I mean, we're really shaking up the model business here with the pandemic and what's going to happen to business and unemployment and the new way we have to think and interact with each other in business and everything else that we've been talking on the Chris Voss show. So it's a good time to get into that. So anyway, I appreciate you being on the show, Amira. It's been wonderful. And we've given people some incredible tools and valuable resources they can take and use. Thank you so much for having me here, Chris. This was fun to jam with you. I love your sense of humor. Sounds good. We love to have you back. If you come back, it's like SNL. If you come back several times, we are like a robe and everything.

Yeah, it'll have gum in the pockets, but it's, you know, we don't have SNL's budget. But it's not used gum, though. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. All right, guys. Well, we certainly appreciate you guys tuning in. Be sure to go to Amira's website, TheInstopableWoman.com. Check her out.

Reach out to her. She's also on the Twittersphere there, the Facebook, the Instagram, the LinkedIn, the YouTube. She's got her own YouTube channel, so you can take and watch and learn. And I really implore people, this is a great time if you're sitting around at home, learn some new stuff, expand your mind, expand yourself, change your life. I mean, I've been through these cathartic changes before, and you can look at them as a depressing, dark time, and there is going to be a struggle there, but there is also opportunity. And sometimes that opportunity, these are those moments for that opportunity. So be sure to capture them. Thanks, my audience, for always being here. We certainly appreciate you guys.

Watch for upcoming interviews. I think we have a candidate who's running for governor of a state coming up. We have some great book authors coming up as well. Be sure to go to youtube.com forward slash Chris Foss. Hit that bell ding notification. I do my own sound effects. It's that kind of show. Notifications, so you get all the notifications for all those cool videos.

This one will be up, of course, on the Chris Voss Show if you're listening on the audio podcast. You can also go to thecvpn.com or chrisfosspodcastnetwork.com. We have this amazing technology. You can click either of those links and they go to the same place. Whoa, it's like 2020 right now. So you can subscribe to nine different podcasts

and you can learn all sorts of stuff. Meanwhile, you can listen to Amira's podcast as well, and your brain is going to be so large, you may have to get a larger skull. Anyway, guys, thanks for tuning in. We appreciate you, and we'll see you next time.