The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast Election 2020 Deathmatch – KVOS Popup Radio

Episode Date: July 29, 2019

Election 2020 Deathmatch - KVOS Popup Radio

Hi folks, it's Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com, thechrisvossshow.com. You got to end it early there. You play it out and then you end it early. It's kind of like most marriage sex. Starts out really long, it's over. Three seconds, boom. Always sex. I don't know sex I don't know I don't know what that's about that's a rude thing to say Chris I feel bad no you don't anyway guys welcome to another episode of pop-up radio I'm so pissed today I got to tell you why I'm not where's everyone. No, I'm not. Anyway, where is everyone?

Jesus Christ, it's Sunday. What are you, people in church or something? Man, it doesn't go to church. I'm pretty sure all the fundamentalists left me a long time ago. He's going to hell. Anyway, guys, so I'll just keep on trucking see if anyone shows up anyway I'm not really angry I'm just kidding around I'm not really angry but what am I angry

what was I going to pretend to be angry about god damn it now I'm angry that I can't remember what I was going to pretend to be angry about what the hell what the hell is going on this is the first sign of dementia this is when you start losing it. Anyway, oh, that's what I was going to be angry about or pretend to be angry about.

Now I remember. This is so messed up right now. Anyway, guys, welcome to KVOS, K-V-O-S, coming at you on the dial. K-V-O-S-F-M FM pop-up radio on the Facebook dial there. Coming at you live today. And we're going to be putting some tunes on a little bit later. We're going to open up some of the newest ELO albums that just got sent to us. We got a new album from some band out of Canada called Rush.

And I don't know, they just put this album out just last year in 1974. We're going to open that baby up and I don't know, give it a spin. There's some people in Philadelphia. They're saying it's a really cool album. They're going to get some radio play with their song Working Man. We're going to check that out and see what it's doing. So anyway, what I was going to pretend to be angry about, which I'm not, assuming I don't forget to be angry about it this time, is, oh, I thought I coined the term

pop-up radio, and I wasn't 100% sure that I'd created it, because I'm not really, this is what I'm doing to promote the Chris Foss Show podcast, which is like an official professional podcast as opposed to this one. So I decided to make this fun thing that we do on Facebook called KVOS Pop-Up Radio. So it's not like the official podcast because I don't

want people getting the official and unofficial and the professional and the unprofessional. I'm not really sure the Chris Voss Show is that professional really. I just don't want people getting the official and unofficial and the professional and the unprofessional i'm not really sure that chris voss shows that professional really um i just don't want people getting them freaking confused a so um so anyway i thought i i had created pop-up radio and i had not there are other people using pop-up radio but I didn't think and think that I made it up. Cause I was like, what can I make a term for this thing? And,

uh, I was like, Oh, I don't know, man, what is this? I'm just kind of doing radio and just kind of throwing it up there. Not the same throw up that you do after a hard night of drinking.

That's different. Um, anyways, uh, if you're watching right now, it looks like two people are watching two people man it's an audience uh be sure to come into comments and say hello give me some topics to riff on and we'll do something i just scared both those two people off they just disappeared you

motherfuckers anyway um so i thought i coined the term pop-up radio turns out i had not uh hey i want to do some plugs let's do some plugs while we're at it if you haven't got a chance to subscribe to the chris voss show or one of the other six fine featured uh podcasts there's a whole bunch of them on the chris voss show you can do the cvpn.com or you go to chris fos podcast network.com 4 30 in and no one has appeared in comments what the fuck is going on everyone's at church i knew they were lying to me they're all religious fundamentalists probably all trump voters too anyway um, so I want to think you've probably been seeing this mic, this whole mic appear. This is called the mic, and this is the mic boom.

That's what this is. This is the mic. Sound goes in it from this end, comes out the other end, and then it just magically spews through speakers on your computer or something. Magic. Magic. magic, Eduardo. What do you think of magic? You like magic? You like magic, Eduardo? I like magic. So anyway, thanks for being here, buddy. Um, so anyway, I want to think two companies, just two. So this isn't going to take a long time. Just try and stick with me, try and stay awake, just focus people, focus, look up from the fucking Instagram for five fucking seconds, okay, so I want to thank Master and Dynamic, Master and Dynamic, see that product placement, that's what makes me a master, I got the whole wrist thing going on from the Miss America thing,

got that down, the MH40, I want to thank Master and Dynamic for sending. Hey, Cam, how you doing? For sending us some updates. Look at this. I got a nice, clean, beautiful boom mic cord that we're using now. The old one I had for like five years, and it was beautiful, still worked like a charm,

but it had gotten all dirty from my oils and my fingers and stuff and it's a beautiful cloth um um wrapped unit and it's it's awesome so uh anyway i want to thank them for sending us an update these uh that you see on my head i've had these for like five years now love them they're still awesome this day because you know why because i have them on that's the first sign it was a trick question huh i know y'all got that so anyway uh i want to thank them they've sent an update uh to these headphones um which i'm i'm very kind of i'm torn about honestly because i love these so much like what if I it's kind of like no I love these so much like what if I try these on and even though that the same they're just not like it could be like you know you know

how you like that old chair that old leather chair because it's all worn in and stuff and it's all just perfect and it just fits you perfect and you know it's just all it's you just broken in it's worn to you has that comfortable personal feeling that's kind of how i feel about my mh40s so they sent these to us so thanks to um our good friends at master and dynamic to their website, masterdynamic.com. You've been seeing some of the other different earphones they've sent us, which are really nice, too. We're going to be finishing the reviews on that.

We also want to thank MXL Mics for sending us these mics, the Boom mic, and I think there's a few other mics around here you've probably seen me talk about, but we want to give them a good plug because I really like this mic. I like really like it. Anyway, so what's up, Cam? What's up, Eduardo? Throw me some questions. Throw me some comments, babies.

Let's talk. Let's chat. Chris Voss. Chris Voss is here to be dear Abby. He's here to fix your problems, your life, your life things. He's here to be a life coach because God knows if you're going to be, if you're going to take advice from someone as a life coach, you should take someone from who's this complete shit show. Hey, Mike Berry.

How you doing, buddy? Anyway, so that's it. So I'm doing the KVOS pop-up radioup radio having some fun i haven't done this for a couple days uh i was gonna try and start doing every day because i think uh i don't know it's a great way to annoy you fucking people you gotta love it um so if you got questions you got comments throw them in i'll see if i can riff off them. I'll be your dear Abby for the hour. And, um, thanks for the, uh, like their buddy, uh, be your dear Abby. So if you got, you got some problems, you got things you're trying to solve. You can just, just go ahead and ask the question. You

got, you got, uh, you got, uh, you know, maybe you went to Thailand, you were having too much fun over there. You came back and you've given the wife something um that you didn't know you had we can help solve that problem for you give me your wife's number that's a good start uh then uh you got relationship problems chris has never been married he's never been in a long-term relationship past four years i was engaged twice does that Uh, he can give you all the marriage and relationship advice you could ever want. I'm also a sex therapist. I can work with your wife to, you know,

make sure there's no issues there between you and her, but, uh, it's usually private teaching with you and your wife. Ah, there you go. So anyway, um, so back on k-boss pop-up radio uh i guess on sunday i have to do this later like what's going on man oh you know it's probably six o'clock on the east coast or thereabouts and there's probably like uh five or six people probably having dinner.

They're getting together with the family. And then here's what everyone's doing. Here's what everyone's doing at the dinner table. Keep passing the pork and beans, mom. Yeah, that's probably what's going on right now. People are fighting right now over, I don't know whatever they're eating oh he had a diet coke no yes why

didn't he get diet coke typical Sunday Sunday holiday anyway guys I don't know what's going on in the world the world's going to hell that's what I do know is for de facto going on in the world looks like Dan Coates is resigning the only That's what I do know is for de facto going on in the world.

Looks like Dan Coats is resigning. The only top intelligent officer we have, he's going to resign. He's the guy running, I think, National Intelligence. What could go wrong? I don't know about you, but I don't feel any safe. I feel less safer now with Donald Trump than i've ever felt in my life um and i think i think i'm screaming inside my head here let me listen can you hear that wait no that's just one of my voices talking to me hey marianne how you doing there say hello somebody make a comment for christ's sake i'm unfriending anybody who doesn't make a comment.

Wait, that's a lot of people. I don't have that kind of time. Make a comment. Mary, throw me a bone here. Give me some topics. Give me something to riff on. I'm looking at CNN, man, and it's just all ugly politics. Michelle Obama shaves Trump after his derogatory tweets. I love Michelle Obama shades Trump after his derogatory tweets I love

Michelle Obama she's what was going on the world that's horrible just everything is so negative man I mean it's it's a negative world because a lot of ugly stuff is happening. But, hey, Chris, how you doing, man? Say hello. Give me some material to work from. Give me questions. I'm deer abbing, guys. So I'm here to solve your problems or make them worse.

I'm not sure which. But, excuse me, I just burped on radio. Is that okay with the FCC, probably gonna go fine now, KVAS isn't real radio, Chris, it's not real radio, oh, do you guys see the grasshoppers invasion in Las Vegas, holy shit, man, I gotta tell you, since I left Las Vegas to come do this book, I still have like a 10 by 20 storage unit down there that's filled, then I got a 10 by 20 storage unit up here, and then I got the place, holy crap, man, my whole life is spread out between three different units at this point, and I think my liver's spread out on the road. So anyway, I leave Las Vegas, and they start having earthquakes there, man, like really bad from California and shit.

And I'm just like, wow, man, I got the hell out of there. In fact, I was kind of tempted to go see if my old house is still standing, just to be like, wouldn't it be creepy if I like looked it up on Zillow and it like it crashed down? It's like, holy shit. I moved to Utah at the right time. I didn't. Wow, man. Talk about fate.

That'd be really wild. Hey, Stephanie, how you doing? Say hello. Say hello, guys. Come on, man. Don't be shy. I won't bite. I promise not to bite.

And I've had my rabies shots. Rabies. Yeah, you don't be shy, I won't bite, I promise not to bite, and I've had my rabies shots, rabies, yeah, you don't ever get rabies, it doesn't, doesn't go well, especially if you're on a keto diet, so anyway, so anyway, a bunch of earthquakes hit fucking Vegas when I leave, man, and, and then grasshoppers, holy Christ, man, like a bunch of grasshoppers, holy Christ, man, like a bunch of grasshoppers came invading and you can see him with a Luxor and all these things.

And they're flying in the thing. They're flying people's mouths. They're flying in their cars. They're flying in their houses. Holy shit. My dog's probably be having a ball. They probably run around chasing and biting crickets and shit, but there's probably

going to be a whole mess of like spiders and birds coming in next, and then there'll just be bird shit everywhere, that'll be great, that'll be great, so anyway, police break window to rescue two kids from a hot car, what the hell is going on with parents nowadays? Are they just stuck on Instagram? They're looking at the phones or something? They're on YouTube for too long or Pornhub or something? It's like, I don't know how you forget you have a kid. I mean, yeah, if I had kids, I'd probably want to forget about them.

But what I do is I just sell them to a Chinese organ harvester and get myself another BMW. Thanks, Janie and Johnny. Appreciate that. Love you. Love you. Now, when I sold Janie and Johnny originally to the organ harvesters in China, they promised they would only, like, take one lung and one kidney,

maybe half a liver, because it regrows, so you can do that. And they said they were going to just put them to work in the iPhone shop there. So every time I look at my phone, I think of Johnny and Jeannie. But I know they want Daddy to be happy. They want Daddy to be happy. They want daddy to be happy, and so they're over there making sure daddy's got a good phone. Thanks, Janie and Johnny. I miss you guys sometimes, but not really.

I want to see how this is. Michelle Obama is the master of shade. Yeah, I wouldn't want to piss off Michelle, man. Old Obama, man. He's probably like those no it's a video so I can't really tell what it is but I wouldn't want to be on Michelle Obama's bad side yeah you know what here's an idea what if you got Michelle Obama and Donald Trump to have one of those celebrity boxing matches, dude, that would be epic, I want to see that,

I want to see those two go at it, Michelle's taller than him, and she's got, and I've seen Michelle, like, she works out, eh, I've seen her, she's, she she's like she's like athletic and shit so like she could take him right like probably here's what she here's what michelle would do so michelle would take and she she'd be like you know any famous boxer they always got the dummy fist so they they wave that around right it's kind of like tyson man he had that i think he he had that left hook wasn't it was their left hook or right hook i don't remember but if he hit you with it you were going down and if if you're in the ring with them you knew that he landed that fucking hand you were going down so um so michelle obama you know what michelle obama do she get on stage i don't know if michelle

is right or left but whatever her power hand is you know that she writes with and probably throws a punch with we could probably ask uh mr obama president obama he'd probably know which which which one she punches with um she probably popped him in the arm a couple times you stupid man um uh but he seems pretty well trained for a husband so there you go so anyway i think um so i think well michelle obama would do in a celebrity death match of donald trump and um well would it be a death match i'm not sure that's legal thanks for the hearts um be a celebrity yeah be a celebrity death match so anyway uh hey man well how's it going so so what you do like let's say Michelle Obama's right-handed now don't don't take my word for this because I don't want comments later going you dummy she's looked in I don't know what hand

Michelle Obama is I don't spend a lot of time studying Michelle Obama. I just like her, and she's cool, and she's nice. I wish she'd run for president. But other than that, I'm not really spending a lot of time on it, and I don't think she really cares whether I know whether she's left-handed or right-handed. So I'm just respecting how she feels about stuff. You know what I mean? You got to do that.

Otherwise, it's going to get kind of weird. She's like, how do you know what i mean you got to do that otherwise it's gonna get kind of weird she's like how do you know i'm right-handed i'm like oh watch a lot of your videos she's like are your clothes on when you watch the videos i mean no so anyway that's disgusting i meant to say yes actually i fucked that joke up now it's even we know it's even that's really fucking weird I respect Michelle Obama I never say that about her that was a total joke faux pas fuck up I I meant to jab right and I and I went left um it's horrible I think Michelle Obama is hot if she was not married i'd ask her out so let's put it that way but i don't i'm not sitting around whatever i gotta get wow i'm just digging this

hole it's getting worse anyway um what's the same michelle so, here's what Michelle Obama would do in a celebrity death match. What she'd do is she'd be in the ring. It'd go ding, and it'd be her and Donald Trump, and they're like sparring back and forth. And then she'd reach behind her, whip out a Big Mac, right? With her hand that's not the punching hand. She'd whip out a Big Mac or like a KFC, like a chicken wing, something, or maybe a big mac or like a or like a kfc like a chicken wing something or maybe a dumpling or not a dumpling but the what do they call the the the leg yeah like a chicken

leg or not chicken leg the the one that's got you know it looks like a snow cone or something i don't know clearly i don't eat a kfc often enough and when i do i get the breast annoying two-piece i don't get the whatever the part is i can't remember what it is so anyway what she do she pulled the move man and if you ever watch like, uh, Frazier and Ali and shit, or like, um, or like, uh, Oh, who's the rumble in the jungle, Ali and, uh, Ali and, uh, I can't remember. This is George Foreman. The Foreman Ali fight the rumble in the jumble jungle. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay. The Foreman Ollie fight. The rumble in the jungle.

Are you ready to rumble? Yeah. Okay. All right. I think I have to pay a licensing fee for that now. I'm going to get sued by that fucking guy. So anyway, what she's going to do is she's going to whip out that Big Mac, man. She's going to whip that out.

And she's going to be like, hey, hey, hey. And and it's gonna be the decoy that's what you do you use that other arm for the decoy and you just come in right at that moment that's what she's gonna do she's gonna get him all fucking off-centered and fucking uh seeing that big mac he's gonna hold the big mac and she's gonna come in and hook him and boom he's going down like a ton of fucking quarter pounders i don't know what that means drumstick it's a fucking drumstick for christ's sake you guys are horrible on it she didn't even tell me that she's holding out on me i know it so anyway uh so she'd take the drumstick can you just see michelle I mean, seriously, picture this. Somebody designed this. I mean, I come up with these ideas for you people. Why don't you go on Photoshop and make this video happen?

Donald Trump, Michelle Obama in death match. So anyway, she's waving around the drumstick, and as soon as he focuses in on the KFC, because there's no way he cannot do that. Like it, it calls to his inner cholesterol and boom, he hits her or she hits him. No, he doesn't hear her. I'm ready for a nap. Anyone want to take a nap with me? Like maybe some of you are right now because I'm not getting any comments. Fuck you people. I love you.

Fuck you people. Anyway, so that's what I'm after. Celebrity death match. Michelle Obama and Donald Trump. We need to raise some money and make this fucking happen, people. We need to get like a charity involved and fucking happen, people. We need to get a charity involved and then turn this into a thing, man.

Maybe that's what we could do. Here's what we could do. We could have a Biden Trump death match. Whoever wins gets the presidency in 2020. It's not an election anymore, people. That shit's over. It's all gerrymandered. It's all an election anymore, people. That shit's over.

It's all gerrymandered. It's all been cheated by the GOP. We can't go down this road, right? So what we got to do is we're going to announce a new election thing for 2020. And here's how it's going to go. Let's get ready to rumble welcome to the 2020 election death match boxing in corner number one we have president donald trump occupant of the white house or otherwise known as individual one uh is this gonna be his night or will he face prosecution when he gets removed from office next

year in the other corner we have joe cool biden with his sunglasses on you might want to take those off joe um and uh he is going to be putting up his thing to see if he can take the gauntlet of the world championship of cheating the presidency only earning it righteously this time and with him is his manager president obama or you can have michelle obama be his manager you know michelle be like the one who slaps him you know cuts his eye and shit so that he can stay awake, you know, and stuff. So who would win, Biden versus Trump? That's what I want to fucking know right now, people.

I want to know. Is it going to be Biden or is it going to be Trump? Now, Trump's pretty – see, here's the thing, man. If you've ever fought a fat guy, and I did once when I was a teenager, the problem is they get a lot of padding and so you hit them and your fist like disappears you know inside of their fat and so they have like a padding but if they're skinny you can break shit because there's no padding yeah right so um here's what i think man i think that uh i I think that we should have celebrity death match for Biden versus Trump.

And it should be like one man. It's like Thunder fucking dome for the 2020 election. One man enters. One man's president. One man, you know, I don't know what happens. And, um, if Biden wins, he gets the Mary Melania so she can find out what a real man's like. I love it. I love it.

Um, anyway, guys, I don't know. I just fucking improv that whole thing. So I hope you really appreciate what I just did. I just made that up on the spot. Anyway. Fuck. Seriously, no questions. Normally when I do this at night, you people have questions.

I'm really disappointed in you. I want you to know that and i want you to go to your room and think about what you did wrong here but i don't know maybe it's better because then i could focus and i could come up with the whatever that concept was and then flush it out live improv on the air i mean if it wasn't that funny it's because it wasn't planned i I didn't get to practice that shit. Sometimes I look at my goatee, and I think I should probably do something with it. But then I don't care. So there's that.

So anyway, I love to see celebrity deathmatch between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. I think that's how the election should go down. Fuck all this voting shit. Just be mono a mono one candidate enters one president leaves and It's Joe Biden versus Burr boy KFC cholesterol and Trump and I mean seriously think about this Okay, now I don't believe in violence and politics, but let's fantasize a little bit.

And really, I don't want to endorse violence in politics. I don't want to endorse violence against anyone. One of the things that our founding fathers believed in was the open discussion, argument, and debate of ideas without violence, without force, without tyranny, without armies telling you how it should be, without subversive control. So I don't believe in Antifa. I think that's completely wrong. I don't believe in white nationalists. I believe both those organizations should be, or people that do them should face criminal crimes because violence is not a part of our thing. i mean seriously just kind of open your fantasy mind for a little while just imagine a celebrity death match we're just

imagining here and imagine joe biden just punching donald trump in the fucking fat ass face mouth right just just hitting him like you ever see the ollie shots or you know where they where the he'd hit him and like the blood spittle just goes off and you just be like tweet that mother fucker and biden's like say my name bitch and it's kind of like that it's kind of like that episode with bob barker and what's his face in happy gilmore where uh bob bob barker and and uh i can see like bob barker is kind of like the joe biden figure in that whole scenario there and uh so like and donald trump's i don't know i don't even know what Donald Trump is. So anyway, they're fighting and, you know, and then freaking Biden punches him and shit. And, you know, Biden can move, you know, he can dance because he's, you know, he's light on his feet. So he's hopping around.

And then you see him land a couple of good ones and just like, there's a whole thing where the face goes, a little spittle goes out of blood or a spit. And you're like, oh, that's got to hurt. That's got to hurt. And they kind of spin around and stuff. And then Biden's like coming off with these one-liners. He's like, tweet that, bitch. Say my name, bitch. Say my name.

It's like from Breaking Bad. Trump's like, holy shit, he's angry. He's like, I'm sorry, man. I sent those tweets about you. Gives him another punch. Who's the sleepy Biden now, bitch? I don't know. Anyway, I don't condone violence in any way, shape, or form.

We're just doing this as a fun little entertaining exercise. We should not hit each other over politics. Now, you may not like someone else's politics. They may seem repressive and horrible and kids in cages and all that stuff, but there should never be violence against each other. You know, we should discuss our ideas and respect each other. And the vote, you know, going to your voting booth is where you make these decisions. But one can fantasize, can't they?

It's quite the fantasy. Joe Biden. I can see Joe Biden in the, in the little boxer things. Can't you see Joe Biden? He's in the boxer. He's in the boxers, boxer, boxers. Is that what they're called? I don't know.

What are shorts? Maybe boxer shorts. He's in the boxer shorts, but boxer shorts are boxers. So, but you're not really in in if you're wearing boxing shorts you're not in boxers like but they're not but they're boxers but you can't pee out of them because there's like not a hole in the front like when a guy has boxers like i wear well i used to wear boxers now I just go I just go full all the moon all the cart no it's not well a cart depend upon how everything falls around I don't know what that means you can figure out you can join my mastermind later we'll

draw a diagram for you think of a banana split just take and do that and like some melty balls of giant ice cream i don't know what is what the fuck am i talking about why am i sharing with you i think this is funny enough i'm gonna put this on my podcast fuck it it's completely unprofessional but there's a lot unprofessional, but there's a lot of swear words, Chris. There's a lot of swear words. Stop swearing. You're hurting my mentality. So, whatever.

So, anyway, I want to see this, man. I think I'm going to go buy Biden-Trump death match 2020. I'm going to go buy the dot com for this. And we're going to set it up, man. I'm going to get celebrities show up. Melania would love to see this one. Can't you see Melania's face when he's getting his butt beaten? I was like, yeah, finally, this fucking guy. Like, you remember when Trump was up doing his acceptance speech

or whatever it is when he became president? He turns around and Milani's looking. I'm like, yeah, I'm really happy. And as soon as he turned around, she's like, fuck this motherfucker. Yeah, I think she'd enjoy Celebrity Deathmatch in ways that none of us would. She'd just be sadistically in the corner gone this is awesome I've waited 30 years for this moment oh can I hit him too I want to get in there actually that would be kind of funny too stormy Daniels and versus Melania there there's a death match for you wouldn't that be

cool would that be cool guys i don't know let me know um melania versus um stormy daniels death match one first lady enters, one stripper leaves. But seriously, who do you think would win that fight? My money would be on Stormy because Stormy knows how to move. I mean, Stormy is, you know, she's had to spend a lot of time dodging penises being thrown at her shit. She knows how to do the whole action of move jab you know all that sort of good stuff she knows how to use her fists properly

not sure how but i've seen video proof i think dropping loads anyway uh there's an old stern reference I think drop it loads. Anyway, uh, there's an old Stern reference. Uh, I'm going to get a letter from Gary now. Um, I was looking at a picture early today. I was on with Gary Bubba Bowie from, um,

uh, the Stern show comes walking up to me at a, at a, uh, uh, post, uh, what are those after shows they do for the award shows?

The Oscar shows. I was at an after Oscar award party, and Gary Bobaboo comes walking up to me. I forget his last name. And he's like, hey, man, that phone camera you got there. I had the Galaxy phone camera where it's a phone on one side and a camera on the other. Magic. And so anyway, he comes walking up to me. So that was a Stern reference to Dropping Loads.

You probably heard that bit. Anyway, but Stormy Daniels has got, you know, Mondo chest thing. So when she falls through, she's got like, she's got the weight of her arm and she's got like her body. So it's like a body blow. It's like a boob, boob blow, boob body blow. I think I'm getting my sexual porn references mixed up. So anyway, you know, and, and, and and and melania is just like a rail so like she

can't she's going to take impact uh hard and there's no padding and she might be able to you know uh bob dodge and weave a little bit but i'm thinking i I'm thinking, uh, I think Milani is going to take some hits. There's going to be some impact from Stormy Daniels and she's just going to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And, um, so yeah, I don't think, um, I don't think that's going to go well. And see, here's the other thing. Stormy can screw with her. You know, remember how Allie, when he used to go on stage, he, or on, when he used to go on stage he or on when he used to go in the ring he used to taunt people and they used to piss him off and he'd do that so they get angry and burn energy and throw jabs at him and then he'd rope it open right he did it to foreman he

did that to uh frazier and shit and he just he'd them. Like, what are you doing? Even when Frazier would just, like, beat the crap out of them. And that's what all he wanted. He was roping to open them and stuff. And so that's what I think Stormy would do if she was in the ring with Melania. She'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually made him last five seconds. Not year two. Yeah. yeah i actually made him last five seconds not your two yeah he got he got to like four thrusts before he came um and then melania will just get angry she'll start just throwing wild punches and burning energy off and then stormy's just gonna wait for that nice boob body punch. Boom. Bang.

Going down. See, the other thing, too, is the Melania punch is stormy. And, like, the boob, she's got that big boob. She can take it. She'll just go boom, boom, boom. But if she hits Melania in the boob, that shit's going to hurt, man. That hurts ladies, man. You don't hit them in the boob.

You don't hit a lady. That's wrong. Don't do that. I never hit a lady. only is it illegal it's just wrong i suppose unless you're another lady then you know it's kind of a cat fight but that would actually that would be the best cat the ring we have 2020 catfight Walania Trump stormy Daniels we have that bald motherfucker her lawyer he make a great referee because all referees that are greater bald so we just put him in the front and since he's going to jail probably soon for whatever shit he did scamming or ripping off his things or whatever allegedly um he'll look great in that uh striped suit that they give you when you go to prison and then also referees use that as well see you want to see how my mind works here people

it's a fucking journey and you're on it and you can't get off. Get that image out of your head. Actually, that wasn't that bad, but I don't know. Michael Avenatti is going to be coaching, plus he's wearing his number uniform for reporting for duty. Or it could be Michael Cohen. Michael Cohen's already got that uniform down. Actually, Michael Cohen would be a better referee for the for the Melania stormy Daniels fight because because every now and then stormy like it punch him for like

bezzling some of his money and then Lonnie you know I'm sure she's probably got some angry anger at Cohen. Cause she's like, you hid it from me. You're paying them off. I want to find out. Then I get a divorce his ass before you started this racist crap and I can still respect my name. Yeah. That's how I go down.

I'm pretty sure. Yeah. So anyway, I had no idea when I started this journey of this pop-up podcast. Hey, Lori, how you doing? I had no idea when I started this journey of the pop-up podcast I would improvise the Celebrity Deathmatch for the election of 2020. But here it is, folks. We've crossed into the nexus.

We've crossed the labyrinth. And we're just going to have to down this road because we can't there's too much german mandarin there's too many gop guys that close fucking polls we gotta have trump biden election 220 death match are you ready to rumble whatever you know what i'm saying um dude i'd pay to see that wouldn't we all pay to see that we and see here's the thing no one shows up to fucking vote right because they're fucking lazy hey thanks lori uh no one shows up to vote match everyone would tune in and you know we could we could like pay for the election or like i don't know get some money to uh to pay uh down the deficit or some shit uh we just sell you know pay-per-view uh tickets man 40 bucks everyone's in 80 bucks dude everyone will be watching that would be bigger than the fucking super bowl celebrity or uh celebrity death match donald

trump versus joe biden or michelle obama like that too uh for president one president enters. One, or no, hold on. Two candidates enter, one president leaves. I love this idea, man. I want to see this happen. Because fuck all the poll closing that the GOP does and the gerrymandering and the whole electoral college. Fuck that. See, this fixes the electoral college. I'm fucking Einstein, god damn it and i've

come up with the most brilliant idea for you people and what do you have to say about it hey chris anyway so this is this is how we're going to fix the electoral college celebrity fucking death match the thunderdome of election 2020 and you know what we should do we should start with the there's so many democratic contenders. We can have like a whole series of matches to kind of flesh out all the, all the Democrats, because you know, people always use this language.

Like you hear the, all the commentators are like, we need a candidate that can go up against Trump and take the body blows of Trump when he tweets. Well, if we're just going to talk about body blows, let's do body blows. Hey, Jason, how you doing, man?

Anyway, I'm doing the Dear Abby K. Voss pop-up radio. So if you got like anything you need me to life coach you on, any coaching you need, any advice, I'm like the Dear Abby of white fucking trash. Marriage advice. any advice i'm like the dear abby of white fucking trash marriage advice life advice anything you need you got some gonorrhea i can tell you to clear that up i can't subscribe any or i can't prescribe anything the judge says i can't do that anymore but i can probably give you a doctor referral i I can make some, I make some affiliates off that. Chris, you are the man forever. What if I want to be a girl sometime? I mean, do I have to be a man forever?

Seems like a long time to be stuck being a man. I mean, sometimes I feel like a little girl, especially if, especially if Donald Trump gets voted out of office, I'll be like a little girl. I'll be like running around and I'll be like running I go and I'll probably have Goldilocks here all those things you are the man forever Jesus Jesus like a fucking curse like what if what if what if the reality of death and life is that you come back, you know, somebody else, what did they call that? There's a crazy Hollywood bitch who believes in it.

I can't remember anything at this point. Reincarnation. Like, what if you just curse me, Jason? Like, maybe I was going to come back as a dog in another life or a cricket or some shit, be in Vegas. But you just curse me, you're like, you are the man forever, and right now the universe is going, don't let him change, man, keep him a man forever, I mean, I would like to find out what it's like to be a woman, not for very long, trust me, all the emotions and stuff, but it'd be nice to have a great

pair of tits, I mean, I got a great pair of tits now but uh yeah you just did that thanks well thanks for the compliment i certainly appreciate it you should uh uh according to your avatar man you need to lay off the colloidal silver though man you're turning blue and silver you should probably back off that shit anyway man I like your avatar Jason weeks we got into that on a prior call so anyway um I don't know I don't think I have any more bits on the celebrity deathmatch but Jesus Christ I just ran this into 40 minutes and I just improv the whole fucking thing I hope you appreciate what I'm doing for you anyway I don't know what I'm doing for you. Um, so anyway,

I don't know why I'm doing Jeffrey or, uh, what's that dude's name? I don't know why. Somebody was talking about it the other day. So somehow it's stuck. Um, Galathan.

No, that's a different guy. Um, anyway, whatever. He does that bit where he goes, Oh, look. And so I don't know why I'm copying that. Hey, Marshall, how you doing? If any guys, you guys have any comments. I mean, seriously, you guys are my audience.

I know how fucked up you are. You, you need, you must have some unresolved issues that I can help you with. Let me help you. I'm here to help you. All right. We're the government. We're here to help you. So I want to see deathmatch this is how we're gonna resolve the 2020 election I think even better if Kamala Harris ended up fighting Donald Trump I try and forget him as much as I can would it be funny if Kamala Harris fought Donald Trump she'd be like up there like bust this bitch

what'd you say about Baltimore you know and then Trump's like I was just tweeting and he's trying to tweet the whole fucking time so he's like not even fighting like dude he's to be going down and like kamala

harris has got that quarter pounder up there she's giving him the she's giving him the bob and we even decoying every time he looks or tries to take a bite of the quarter pounder she's like she puts it out there to him he tries to take a bite she's like boom boom and he's like, oh, man, oh, man. Wow, this is the worst. This is the worst. This is the worst Harper I've ever had from KFC. And if you're tuning in now and you're like, what the fuck is going on? You probably want to go back to the beginning because I don't know what the fuck is going on either. But this is how we're gonna resolve the election i'm all for this we can like raise money for like uh that women's charity thing

what's the women's charity that helps women's health and shit they can be like one of the beneficiaries how it could be is like whoever wins their charity wins because you know they're gonna fight even harder for it so you can have on one side the women's clinic uh the one they always have problems with the gop does um like we're against the portion but we like having kids in because because we need to put more of those kids in cages we gotta have the kids for the cages so they they can't be aborted man um and then i don't know um the the charity where all the money can go to if trump wins is the kkk probably so that's probably that all um anyway um you gotta love it so that's my bit for today folks i just made all this stuff up so i hope you appreciate it i can't even get many people ask questions about the only person who's

been really nice here to me is laurie and jason and um and the rest of you i don't know what you're doing on a sunday is everyone on pornhub right now Is that what's going on? Everyone's watching CNN or Game of Thrones or whatever the crap is on Netflix this hour. Everyone's watching. I'm watching billions, Chris. You don't watch billions. You count them. Stupid. Anyway, I really don't think I have anything that can top that. I think it's all downhill from here. I think I started out like right here, and I went up the mountain and just killed it, right? And after this, it's just running at the clock.

That's where we're at. We're at the running at the clock point of the broadcast. All the meat, the gravy broadcast all the meat the gravy the dressing the dessert it's all been fucking delivered to you fucking people in 50 minutes right now and we're just running out the clock and you know what i don't have a time limit so i don't know why we're running at the clock hey guys i'm tired'm going to go eat. I hope you enjoyed that. I just ripped that whole fucking thing off of improv. Just made it up on the spot. So, if you didn't like it, you're going to have to enter the Slattery desk noturing with me. One idiot enters.

Another listener enters. That's not how it works. I got to watch Thunderdome again you know it'd be cool to is stormy Daniels did show up she was dressed like what's-her-face Tina Turner and Thunderdome because you know they both got those they're stacked pretty well they're both very beautiful women and very smart women they got very beautiful people so yeah that would be fun I'd pay to see stormy Daniels fact I think I may have to google this because there's probably a website for it

stormy Daniels as Tina Turner in Thunderdome there's probably she's done probably done so many videos there's probably a video for that right now anybody's listening right now i can hear you clicking you're googling it just stop it that or let me get there first anyways i'm gonna go find uh i'm gonna go find uh i don't know what the fuck i'm gonna do i'm getting off this radio so anyway check out thecvpn.com, thechrisfoshowpodcastnetwork.com. You can go to it as well. You can see the Chris Foss Show podcast.

And we're probably going to put this on because this is kind of fun. There's a lot of swear words, but oh well. And go see it on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, YouTube, iHeartRadio, Spreaker, Stitcher, Digital Podcast, Player FM, TuneIn, and Luminary Podcasts. Oh my God, there's so many places. Chris, why? I don't know why. It just seemed like a good idea at the time.

It's kind of like what I did with this podcast a long time ago. Chris, you are the man forever. Hey, Denny, we're starting to wind down. If you've got a question, you've got to put it in quick. Hurry. Hurry. Wow, this is a long podcast anyway guys I'm gonna eat something so uh be sure to check out uh some of the people we mentioned at the beginning of the show I probably don't want to mention them now because after all the shit I just put up they probably don't be associated with the show and who can blame them and guys thanks for tuning

in be sure to like subscribe to YouTube hit that Bell notification button be sure to give some great reviews to the show we certainly appreciate it give some thumbs up this entertainment shit is hard anyway guys thanks I love you and I'll see you next time