The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Fiercely ME by Stephanie Rowe

Episode Date: December 31, 2023

Fiercely ME by Stephanie Rowe mrsrowe.org In her self-published memoir, Stephanie narrates her remarkable journey through childhood, adolescence, and early-adult life with parents who struggled with addiction and poverty. She describes her fight to survive and reveals her growing understanding of the role that inner strength and determination has played in her personal and professional achievements. Stephanie explores how she learned to overcome debilitating depression, the return of suppressed childhood memories, as well as severe domestic family violence and sexual abuse. In dark moments of despair, Stephanie was unsure if she was going to be able to survive the travesties of her life. Questioning herself, Steph realised that she was the only person who had control of her life and its outcomes. She then spent ten years going through therapy and learning how to process her traumatic experiences. Through recounting these raw experiences, she shows how the stories we tell about ourselves can help to shape who we become, and influence others around us. Determined to learn the skills that weren't taught to her, and constantly striving for a life of development, Stephanie fought for, and created, a flourishing life. She writes authentically and honestly as she takes her reader on this clear, yet unconventional, tour. This autobiographical memoir expresses Steph's unique journey as she travels through the stages of survival and taking back her narrative. She fully understands the power in speaking up about her lived experiences. By not shying away from her truth, she hopes to touch and help others in similar situations, and work towards a world where these experiences don't happen. Stephanie now knows that when we step away from society's conditioning, and embrace empowerment and community, a life of liberation, freedom, joy, and wonder awaits. This memoir has a little, and a lot, of everything as Steph bravely and definitely takes her reader on a journey of strength, hope, and life.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast. The hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show. The preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready. Get ready. Strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times, because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. I'm Chris Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com. There you go. The Iron Lady sings it, and that's how you know the show is officially back on Welcome to Peep Show, my family and friends

We certainly appreciate you guys being a part of the Chris Voss Show As always, if you're catching us during the holidays Happy Holidays I know people will be watching our videos 10 years from now on YouTube going What? It's May! But Happy Holidays if you're in that sort of thing Wherever we catch you when you're watching the show

But right now as we're recording this, it is the happy holidays of the 2023 era. So there you go. Well, happy holidays, folks, and happy new year. And if it's not 2023 or 2020 going on 2024, wherever you're at, just kind of forward that to, I don't know, whatever age you're on. People are like, it's 2050. What's going

on? Gotta love YouTube. It just stays forever. People actually write me and they're just like, this video is dumb. You know, this iPhone 5 isn't new. And you're like, dude, look at the date. Anyway, guys, welcome to the big show.

As always, for the show, your family, friends, and relatives, go to Goodreads.com, Fortress, Chris Foss, LinkedIn.com, Fortress, Chris Foss, Chris As always, for the show, your family, friends, and relatives, go to goodreads.com, 4chesschrisfast, linkedin.com, 4chesschrisfast, chrisfast1 on the tickety-tockety, and chrisfastfacebook.com. We have an amazing new author on the show. She just launched her new book that has come out October 8th, 2023. Stephanie Rowe joins us on the show. She has a new book called Fiercely Me, her first self-published memoir. And we're going to talk about her incredible journey through her life, her childhood, lessons that we're going to learn from her, and how we can hopefully be better people and achieve better things. So she'll be joining us on the show, and I am actively hunting for her bio, if I can find it.

And it's right in front of me. Stephanie is a business coach and procurement specialist who devotes herself to inspire and empower people through her work, her life, and her writing. She guides her clients and readers to harness the self-esteem and courage required to go after the goals and find the success they desire. Currently, she is creating an extraordinary life

and business of her dreams. Through coaching practice, Mrs. Rose coaches her clients to highlight the skills they develop through working with her to apply for and find success in achieving the goals they set out, like obtaining higher paid employment, etc. One of her lifelong passions is to empower others to take charge of their life and guide them towards a path of happiness that everyone deserves. Welcome to the show, Stephanie. How are you? Thank you so much, Chris, for having me. I'm doing really well and Merry Christmas.

We're currently in the future, so we're at Boxing Day, but I do understand that you are Christmas Day, so Merry Christmas. There you go. You're in the Australia part of the world correct yes yes I am in Australia and it is currently like 30 degrees sunny beautiful it is a really warm Christmas this year yeah yeah it's been it's been really warm we've just come out of a heat wave but I've been messaging some people on in your side of the world. And they've been sending me snow photos and I'm like, yeah, polar opposites guys.

Yeah. I'm freezing my bum off. I, I, I remind myself every year that I need to move to Australia for a winter here. So I get summer there and then move back and forth. Plus I like to see what the toilets look like when they flush the other

way. As long as I don't get near the, the cause of the chameleon or have to be forced to eat Vegemite, we'll be fine. But the Tim Tams are awesome down there. So welcome to the show, Stephanie. Give us your dot coms. Where do you want people to find you on the interwebs?

Yeah. So I'm on all socials. So I'm on Facebook as Mrs. Roe author, Instagram as Mrs. Roe author, and I'm on Tik socials. So I'm on Facebook as Mrs. Rowe Author, Instagram as Mrs. Rowe Author, and I'm on TikTok as Stephanie Rowe. And my book, my wonderful book, you can buy on my website,

which is www.mrsroe.org. And you can get it as E and also as paperback. And it's also on Kobo and Google Books. so you can get it on those platforms as well. There you go. So give us the 30,000 overview. What's inside the book? Oh, what's inside the book? Lots of fun stuff. And so I go through a bit of a journey of my life. The start of my life was very interesting. So my, my mom and dad bought a bus and we went around to the outside of Australia in a bus. I kind of started off with some of those anecdotal stories.

And then I kind of go into a little bit of my teenage years. And so I come from quite a low socioeconomic family. And one of my teachers at high school turned around and said, oh, you're going to be one of three things. You're going to be a checkout chick, a teenage mom, or a junkie. And I am not one of either of those things. And I essentially wanted to write this book because I wanted to show others that even if it doesn't matter where you come from,

you can actually achieve things and you can achieve your dreams and you can be really successful. So the end of the book kind of goes through a little bit of trauma, and then it goes into how to love yourself. And then it goes into my business, what I've done in my professional life as a procurement representative, but then also how I've helped other people and businesses. And then it finishes off really, really powerfully. So I reread the book and I was like, wow, I am like gone like that. At the end, I was like, this is really great. That's a really cool life.

Whoever this person was. There you go. Yeah, exactly. I was just like, like my friend was like, she read it for me and she goes, oh, man, I didn't know about this. And I was like, what do you mean? And she goes, yeah, you wrote about it in your book. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. I did.

Well, now you're an accomplished author congratulations it's always thank you to make that crossover people look at you differently when you're an author it's really weird like i would do well but then when i became an author people like get away from me no i'm just getting smart and i'm like i've always been smart damn it and like yeah you put in the books and now you're official i know like i had a friend go oh my god like you you know words that i had to look up in the dictionary and i was just like yeah i know man like there's a whole heap of words in the world but like and i just happen to know some of them and i put it in a book i cheated i used the thesaurus the whole time so

high flunk second grade is the callback joke on the show. So tell us about your journey through life. I mean, it sounds, give us a little more in depth, if you would, how you raised and kind of your, so your family just touring in a bus when they were younger. How did that work? Yeah, yeah. So we started off with a bus in Bundaberg. So my parents bought it in Bundaberg, which is North Queensland. And then they went essentially all the way up and around.

And then they got, they went all the way over to Western Australia down. And then they like kind of went all the way around. And the bus broke down in a place in the middle of, on the border of Northern Territory and Queensland, which is essentially the desert. And at that point, because I'm the eldest of five children, but at that point there was just me and my younger brother below me. And so some of my first memories are just phenomenal. It was just we went to, and I talk about this in the book,

but we went to, we found like natural water holes, like mirages. Yeah, yeah. So my childhood in one way was extremely liberating. It was just a massive freedom. Like I was in the middle of Australia, like this vast open country. And so it enabled me to kind of have instilled in me, I think, to like who I am today to have an immense freedom within life. So I'm able to kind of see things in no confinement, which has been, I think, a really beautiful thing that I've taken from my childhood and a real connection to the land as well, like being able to go back to a country no matter where I am, because me and my

husband just finished a six month trip around the world. So we went through Europe and we went through, yeah, it's been amazing. We went through Europe, we went over to it's been amazing we went through Europe we went over to America we just stopped in at Tampa we went down to Mexico and then Peru and yeah so everywhere we kind of went we went out into nature and we tried to see as much as we could of the land and and it's interesting because a lot of the places we went to really reminded us of Australia and I just kept thinking to myself well the world was all one at some point, you know, we weren't the, like all the continents were connected. So it was kind of, it was interesting to see that kind of similarities, but yeah, my childhood was just quite remarkable at the start of it in the sense of what we, what we experienced. We ended up on an Island and we lived on that.

And that was just phenomenal. I used to just get lost and I just go walking. I just go exploring. Like I was like about seven and I thought to myself, I and I'd just go walking and just go exploring. Like I was like about seven and I thought to myself, I'm going to try and walk around this entire island by myself as a seven-year-old. And I just remember looking like walking in the mangrove forests and just sitting there and just like listening to the birds and watching the water come in and, you know, seeing all of the crabs kind of like scurrying around it was just like it was it was a really really beautiful start to my life I have to admit do you feel it shaped you because you know I see people that they live in one locale of their life

and they grow up there and stuff and I lived kind of like your life we moved around to different places you know you see that with the army brats and people they move around to different bases and you kind of it gives you i think it teaches a little bit of resilience because you have to learn new places you have to adjust to new people and cultures maybe or scenarios and i think it gives you a broader perspective as you said it doesn't lock you in you you're able to see out of the box you're able to to kind of you you're able to adapt and you learn at a very early age and of course you're roaming around one of the most beautiful places on earth and Australia

can go from the desert to the beautiful reefs and aside from Duncan eaten by dingoes and crocodiles and spiders spiders and spiders small creatures pretty yeah yeah pretty much

everything on the freaking island i can't disagree with you and like people went up when we traveled with like is it really that bad and i was like i wish i could lie to you but it really is like you really we really do have a lot of things that kill you like we've got jellyfish crocodile sharks spiders snakes like you you you have a lot yeah like that whole island except for i don't know maybe the koalas is just pretty much murder capital like it really is even the kangaroos they're gnarly yeah even the kangaroos i've seen the kangaroos bite people my australian friends are like yeah they'll tell your guts out they can lift their finger they can kill you but you know the funny thing about koalas is I don't know if you know this but so they're when people I don't know if they've done this to you but they go if you could be reincarnated to an animal what would it be and mine's either a dolphin or a koala and why I

choose a koala is because essentially they just drink like they eat leaves and then they get really drunk and then they pass out and then they wake leaves and then they get really drunk and then they pass out and then they wake up and then they have more leaves and then they get drunk again and then they sleep and i'm like if i was an animal like that would be a great life like you're just eating getting super hammered and then passing out to do it all over again and it's just i think that's a great animal to choose that's what we do on fridays around here on the show that's probably also how they all got chlamydia i thought that was 100 percent what's going on there at the bar so they're just eating getting drunk eating and drunk i mean it's a life people there you go so tease us out some more of the stuff that you have inside the

book as you told your story of life yeah yeah so i so touching on your point earlier about moving around a lot it did actually play a very fundamental part in my who i became as an adult and i like moved around like a lot after i finished high school and because i wanted to one i wanted to see as an adult, the world that existed, how I'd seen Australia was through my eyes and I wanted to see it through an adult's eyes. So I went traveling and I went, lived in Alice Springs. I went far North Queensland. I went to, you know, the rainforest, the creeks. I went down to Tasmania. I lived in, you know, Melbourne, Sydney, Newcastle, Adelaide, Kangaroo Island.

Like I just went all over the place. And a lot of people, and I talk about this in the book, like when you move around in Australia, a lot of people, as you mentioned, just stay in one place. They stay in a city. They grow up. They have their friends from school. They marry. They have children. They get the house.

They do the whole thing. But they don't generally kind of leave. There's that kind of settlement, which I totally understand and respect. But for me, and from what I can hear from you, we moved around a lot. And so you do learn different skills, you learn how to talk to people, you learn how to pick up on things, you learn how to integrate easier, you know, you're a little bit better with change, you learn how to deal with change and how you transition that with others as well and so through me moving not only as a child but then as an adult I learn a lot of skills and you know what I touch on in the book is around you know just because you because there is a bit

of a judgment for me like why have you moved around so much like why haven't you stayed in one spot well you know you know this is really abnormal there must be a reason why you're doing this you know why are you so boring i know right in one place of your life you have no fucking idea what's going on in the world 100 exactly exactly right and so like i talk about that and i call it out because i'm like just because you've stayed in your suburb for your whole life does not mean that i you know there, there's something wrong with me. It just means that we have a different life. And so I really talk about it. And I talk about, you know, having to push through my own, because I moved around a lot, I had to learn how to settle. And I had to learn, because for me, I'm all about self-development. I'm under, you know, I want to understand who I am within the world, and then be able to help others as well through

that. And so I talk about how I had to overcome moving around because it was the most familiar thing for me. And so I did that and I had self-reflection and it was really difficult because it was like, I just want to go somewhere else. You know, I've done this city, I'm bored. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go somewhere else and find something interesting to do.

And I had to really push through that personal baggage essentially from childhood and settle and I was like no I'm committing to myself to prove that I can do this so I would I got a unit I got a job and I stayed in in one place and I stayed for four and a half years and I built a community like a community. I had my social network. I was doing really well with my work. And then essentially what happened was my mind played this trick on me where it was like, hey, we're going to reconnect your frontal cortex to an experience that you had when you were a child. And essentially it's called a blocked memory or a repressed memory. And so when I had settled, I'd finally settled, I'd pushed through, I was like, nope, I'm going to try it your way and see how I go. And then within two years of

me settling down, my brain was like, hey, you're in a really great place. You've got, you know, you're safe. You've got lots of money. You're really happy. You've got this great life. We're now going to just connect that memory back up and we're going to, yeah, we're just going to just connect that memory back up and we're going to yeah we're just going to dump all of these memories from your from your childhood on you and i was like wow this is not great and i i remember going to my psychologist i'm like can you please tell me why now and she's like because your mind knew that you were in a place stabilized enough and safe enough to deal with it and i'm like that's so like ironic in one way it's like best life ever here's some real bad crap that I don't want to deal with and so yeah and so I had to go through and I had to deal with the memories and so with what can happen in life is that you either have

one which is the memory comes back fully as like a memory or two you have fragments but you also have the physical sensation of what happened to you so I was a 33 year old woman reliving what was happening to me as being a seven-year-old child and it was like the most craziest thing because it's like I know this is not like these sensations these feelings like because I could actually feel the person like touching me and it was just like I'm like I can't understand how this has happened so long ago but I'm actually feeling it today and I realized that the brain is a really powerful powerful thing which we like as a race we we don't really know that much about and so yeah I had to go through that and I had to like waffle you you know, literally sludge my way through. And I talk about it in the book and I worked all the way through it and I, you know, went and seeked professional help and I did it and I was really proud of myself.

And then I met my new husband and then I kind of, and that's where I go into the love section because it wasn't just about external love, but it was also about internal love. And so through that, I blocked memories. I realized that I needed to essentially give myself love and compassion and empathy and be gentle with myself. And I had to ask myself some really hard questions if I wanted my life to change. And so I did that. And so I kind of write all about this. There you go. And congratulations on doing the work.

More people need to do the work. I mean, if you have traumas, if you have issues from childhood, my life is an issue. So there's that. But, you know, we've had psychologists and brain people on the show. And what they've talked about is when you're young, your brain can't handle trauma. It's overload because you're just not equipped. And it's shocking. It's, you know, whatever you're going through.

And so your brain will sometimes turn off because you can't handle it. It's kind of like shock when you first have an accident. It's your brain saying this is overwhelming and the pain's too much. We're going to preserve what's going on with this person. It's a protection mode. And then it's interesting, like you said, how the brain kind of says somewhere that, hey, I think you're kind of mature enough to start taking this on. So we're going to reopen this for you and start sharing it maybe a little bit at a time.

And then maybe it's time now where you can deal sharing it maybe a little bit at a time and you know then maybe it's time now where you can deal with it and it's kind of interesting how the subconscious mind seems to kind of know how that can work so it's amazing like the one thing that i've learned over the last few years is just how incredible our minds really are and but also the possibility of like what I have seen in my life is a lot and as you said earlier a lot of people choose to not develop they choose not to do the work but then when you do do the work when you have that honest conversation and self-reflection with yourself and you're like I want a different life I don't want this anymore I want to change and you have to have that conversation with you and you have to have you know look at yourself in the mirror and you have to be like what do i need to do to change my

life and do the work and do the development and change how your thought process are and change literally how your mind chemistry is being made up it's very very difficult but it's not unachievable it's definitely achievable anybody can do it and so when you get to that place you realize you know because there was a lot of tears and there was a lot of hurt and there's a lot of pain and there's still a little you know it's not that it doesn't go away it's just that i can now deal with it a lot better than i used to but anything is possible like anything in this world is possible if you want it bad enough and when you have that ability to go, you know what, I do deserve this. I deserve this

life. That's a massive moment. And a lot of people live in this, like, oh, I don't deserve this, or I'm a people pleaser, or, you know, no, no, no, them, you know, I have to support them. And it's like, well, no, you don't. You can actually choose what you want to do. And if there's a passion that you love, if there's something that really drives you, you can actually achieve that. And it's just about changing how you see the world and how you see yourself in the world. And so, you know, that was how I wanted to end the book really powerfully on that note because it's like anything

is achievable. And when you start to develop, when you start to actually take responsibility for your own life and your own actions and you call, because I had to call myself out. You can't do the work if you don't go, I was really bad and that was really toxic behavior and that wasn't really nice like you can't you can't develop without being like yeah i was pretty shitty then that was pretty shitty behavior like i didn't really i'm not real proud of that but that doesn't mean that i can't be better now like that's the other thing like just because i was crappy then doesn't mean that

i can't be better now. You have to acknowledge it. You have to be honest with yourself. And a lot of people don't like that because it's uncomfortable. Yeah. My biggest trauma of life was that I didn't wake up until I was about 50. And it happened when I suddenly turned 50. I'm like, holy shit. There are a lot of stupid people.

And my brain went, yeah, we've been saving to let you finally realize that because it's it's a little bit overwhelming it is overwhelming it is and it's you know i totally agree with you they're like it's hard as well because you know i there's this fine balance of going oh man there is a lot of stupid people and i wish you'd all just kind of take some responsibility for your own actions and stop putting and vomiting all your emotional baggage onto me. But then there's also other people which are, you know, either starting their journey or have acknowledged or are being proactive or they have, you know, halfway through or they're, you know, kind of, you know, they're well and truly on their way of developing. And so you learn kind of to attract the people that will either test you in one way and go

how much have you learned like how much have you actually learned oh let's just test and then you go oh god they're testing me to see if i'm going to tolerate this behavior if i'm going to tolerate being treated like this or spoken to this and then you know just calling it out i mean i don't appreciate this and then having you know and and going this is why in a really calm way i respect myself and i don't want to be in interactions with people that have that kind of trait or that behavior and then you've got other people which i have now attracted and i've got beautiful people in my life which are developing and they're supportive and we are all uplifting because it's like, I'm not a person who wants to leave behind others either.

Like I am, I am like the supporter of all. If you want to achieve something, I am your, I'm your girl. Like I'm there just cheering you on because everybody does deserve. And I deeply believe that, but they have to, they have to be proactive in that. So I've attracted all these wonderful people and it's just been like my connections my friendships my it's been like organically cultivating and it's just this wonderful place and I'm like why would I want to be back there there's so much drama I don't want to be back there with all you people I want

to be like in this beautiful world that I've created and I've you know attracted so you know like there's there's all of that but there is, you know, attracted. So, you know, like there's, there's all of that, but there is there, you know, because I have it, I kind of have it in some of the family interactions that I still have. And it's just like,

Oh man, can we just stop already? Like we've done this so much. Like we don't keep doing it. You know what you do with those family members? You just fake your death and then change your phone numbers. They're the ones that aren't going to miss you anyway. Well, I just want to quickly say, because it's not funny,

but I deal with life humorously. But when we were in Peru, our trip got cut off short because we went on this tour to the Amazon, and the Amazon driver driver this is the only way i can describe it he didn't like roads that much so he drove the bus off the road into the amazon and so essentially like the car drove off went flying and then like flipped three times and then luckily was stopped by two trees and i was just kind of like all these things happened for me for us to get home safe and then no one really cared that we got home

and i was like but we nearly died and like for me we're like me and tess were just like but we nearly died we literally flew off a cliff like and we're here and and and it was just so bizarre because you're saying fake your own death well we we technically just tried death and then we realized oh no not that many people actually care and that was that's okay this was no small crash too i saw a picture i think on your instagram you have a neck brace and i think your arm might be broken or sprained. Yeah. So I have four tears in my shoulder and I have a sack of fluid in my shoulder cuff. Me and Jason had, so it was hilarious because when we were in Peru, we're in a hospital and no one speaks English and it was really, really bad. And so we had an x-ray and then the doctor was like, oh, you've got a wonky neck. And I was just like, what does that

mean? And so he put a neck brace on me and then when we got to Australia they did another x-ray and I'm like you know I'm like do I have a wonky neck and they're like no and I'm like are you sure that I don't have a wonky neck and they're like no you have a normal neck and I'm like okay cool but yeah so we had a really bad concussion I've had severe bruising because like my body fell on the step of the van. So I had bruising all the way down the side of my right side of my body. And so there's been like a lot of muscular recovery. Yeah.

It was just like, it was hectic, like so much bruising, so much pain. And it was just like, we get home and we're like, we're home. Everything's going to be fine. And again, I realized that, like, life tested me. Not only did we survive it, but it was also like what are we going to tolerate when we get home? Are we going to tolerate the behavior of our friends and loved ones or is this going to be that moment in life where life shows you

who exactly are your friends, who exactly loves you, and who exactly cares enough to check in and make sure you're still alive when you're here, you know, and when, and cause we met all these people across our travels and they were just amazing. Like they, and so it was kind of this polaring moment for me, you know, there was, yeah, it was like, these are the people that I need to focus on. And these are the people that I just need to not worry about anymore and farewell sayonara have a great life yeah I mean these are strangers you're meeting and they seem to you know care about you more and take more interest than in you than you know your relatives but yeah everyone's

got those relatives I suppose they do and so yeah so it was it was a very polarizing experience but I think it signified nothing. I remember lying there. Anyway, I find humor in this because it really was just like, what is going on? So the bus stops. I go into full, like, control mode. I'm going to save the world.

Don't move. We don't know how we've stopped. We might be on a rock. We might, like, unbalance it and keep sliding. And then, like, as I'm lying there there I'm looking through the top of the car and I was just like and this is literally what I what I thought I was like well fuck you like you just tried to fucking kill me there's nothing nothing that's gonna stop me you think that I was like ambitious before you just wait well you just wait I'm like I am going for the world now you just tried to kill me what do

you think i'm gonna do now i am like unstoppable you just you know there was an attempt i'm like it's like you fired at me i'll fire back here i come it was just like it was yeah and that was literally how i took it i was just like nothing was stopping me there is no mountain i am not climbing up now like you were just like you tried to kill me you didn't here i am it's an online if you if you shoot at the king you better not miss so yeah exactly and that was literally what the universe is oh we're just gonna play with you a little bit and then i was just like oh i'll take this and i'll show you exactly what you know i think also it kind of gave me a little bit of liberation because i was like, you know, cause people thought before, like,

obviously like I had the book and a lot of people were kind of like, what are you, what are you doing with the book? Like, why are you releasing it? Rah, rah, rah.

And I was just like, well, I'm releasing it because it's a really good story that other people need to read. And as it's been, I know, I know. Why are you doing a book?

I don't know. Everybody has a book. It's a, it's a cool know i know why are you doing a book i don't know everybody has a book it's it's a cool thing anyway so i it's just crazy you know it was really really crazy like why are you writing this it was like this and i was like because i want my story i knew before this crash that my story was really important i knew it was and i and i and i had to really fight with a lot like professionals within the industry because people were like, you can't write your story like this. And I was like, yes, I can. You do it in your own way.

I'm an author. I can write it however I want to write it. And they're like, yeah, well, that's not like we have a memoir. And I'm like, I don't care. This is how I want to write it. This is my story. This is what I'm going to do. And so as the book came out, as the book is coming out, all of this drama is happening with Peru and me getting back to Australia and all this craziness.

And so, like, I, in the background, like, there's all these deadlines. Like, I have to get a printer. I have to make sure that all, you know, that's happening. The PR is going on. There's all this stuff in the background that's having to happen. And so, I get the book, right? I get the physical book and I send it out to be reviewed. And people start reviewing it and it comes back and they go, Steph, like this book, this story is really easy to connect

with. And I'm like, fabulous. That's what I wanted. They're like, this story just isn't your story. It's like, it's mirrored everywhere. There's a lot of people that have similar stories that, you know, that they could connect with parts of it. So like everyone's got an auntie or a grandma or, you know, or a father or, you know, an uncle that they could relate to some of the people that I speak about in the book. Like it wasn't just my story. And then it kind of started to evolve

because it was like, it was our story. It's everybody's story. And everyone can kind of connect to different parts in the book. And I just thought that was the most beautiful thing. It was like this isn't, you know, this isn't mine anymore. This is our story. And everybody felt, and, you know, and that was the last part was in all of the reviews has been, you know, I felt empowered. Like you can see that this woman is empowered. But it makes me feel like it's okay. Like you can be vulnerable you can go through

these experiences but then you can actually have that inner strength to change and to become who you want to be and I was just like tick tick tick tick I was just like this is exactly why I wrote the book because I wanted people to feel like they weren't alone on their journey that they are capable that you know you can do the hard things and that there is a, that when you do the work, you can actually come out. And so like, I've come back to Australia after this horrific thing, I'm in a bloody brace and I'm getting these reviews and I'm just like, yes, this was the point. This was the whole point, all of you. And I was just like, you know, I kind of wanted to just send it to all of the people that had, like, criticised me. And I was just like, no, because my success in this book

is going to be the sweetest part. When you have professionals in an industry tell you, I don't think that you're doing the right thing, and then you go against their advice and you follow through with your gut instinct instinct and then you have a really successful book which people connect with man you just know like it's the it's just such a beautiful feeling to experience there you go and and you know everyone's stories in life are kind of similar but it's the vehicle that's delivered to you know like i love you know i

learned stories from you know led zeppelin but you know i'm not into the cure so you know like i love you know i learned stories from you know led zeppelin but you know i'm not into the cure so you know it's people people you know a lot of the stories are similar but sometimes we need somebody to tell the story even from different perspective or different level of energy or you know somebody we like to hear the story from as opposed to just anybody and sometimes it's it's in the moment too like sometimes you're not ready for a story and that person comes along and they deliver you the story and you're like oh wow that gives me an epiphany or paradigm because we like to say the on the chris faust show a life stories are the owner's manual to life let's get in some plugs for your services that you do on your website

you do business coaching speaker stuff like that tell us about what you offer there and how people can onboard with you. Yeah, yeah. So I have done procurement for, I think I've worked out like about 10, 15 years. I think it's pushing now 15 because I'm a little bit in denial of how old I am right now. So I've done contract negotiations for a long, long time. It's one of my favorite things to do. And although I'm very bubbly, that's the best thing about contract negotiations because I actually know how to connect with people and read rooms. So when it comes to going in and negotiating,

you know, like very large contracts, I have the upper hand and I don't have any ego when I go do it. And that's one of the things that a lot of people go into negotiations with. They're like, no, I need to feel like I'm in control. And it's like, when you go into a negotiation and you're negotiating a high value contract, for me personally, it's like I remove all ego because all I care about is the result. If I walk out of there with the price that I want

to pay for the product and it is a really good. And I've been able to add all of these, you know, additional non-value items to it to, you know, reduce a lot of admin work within the business, streamline processes and things like that. And then, you know, roll that out. There is no better feeling than that. You know, there is no better feeling than me walking out and going, I didn't need my ego stroked in the meeting.

I need like me getting the results that I wanted. That's where my ego is, you know, really puffs out because it's like, I can deliver on things and it's a personal achievement. So that's one thing I really do well. And I love doing, and I also do a lot of like analytical work. So even though I'm bubbly, I also have the numbers side of my brain so I you know I'm able to kind of analyze data see trends and you know as we mentioned earlier in this interview there is a lot of people that stay in one place and they you know like they kind of do that kind of cookie cutter life which is great for them but for me because of my life it's also given me an ability to see the world in a different way so So I'm able to see market trends differently.

I'm able to see businesses. I'm able to see how, you know, different innovations within industries, how to then in a business setting, you know, capitalize on them and bring them in and have a lot of a strategic approach to the market, which might not, you might not get with other people. So, you know, that's where I thrive. This is where, you know, I'm all about what are your goals and how can we achieve them and how can we long-term achieve them with a really solid strategy which we roll out. And I'm really good at transitioning. You know, I'm really good at transitioning businesses. And so, yeah, so I have all of those kind of things

that I'm offering on my website, but I'm also going into speaking. So I'm, you know, obviously I love to speak. I'm a very good speaker, a lot of knowledge and I have a lot of personal knowledge, but I also have a lot of business knowledge and that, you know, that it's kind of like, it's kind of like a tablecloth. It's weaving those skill sets and that knowledge base in from personal to professional and getting the best results for not only me, but my clients, but also others within speaking, you know, that comes to listen to me. So it's, it's, it's, it's really exciting because there's so much that's happening in the next six to 12 months within

these areas. And I'm like, I'm so happy that I'm in, I'm here firstly to do it. But secondly, that it's, it's almost like firing off there's all these people that are going how can we do things better how can i engage with people to you know get them to come in to guide my teams so you know do self-improvement how can i get them to come in and talk to our leadership team so that they can understand how to interact with their employees better so that they can get more effective outcomes you know so there's all of these things which which are happening in the background which are just really exciting opportunities so yeah so that they can get more effective outcomes, you know. So there's all of these things which are happening in the background which are just really exciting opportunities.

So, yeah, so that's just some of the things that I offer. But I also, you know, I also do a lot of helping with just, you know, people within low socioeconomic kind of climate. So people that might not have the resources to access, people to redo their resumes and they don't know how to go in and negotiate their wages and I found that it's not only women but it's also men there's a lot of people that just don't know their value don't know how to you know present themselves don't know how to you know kind of go into these interviews prepared how to do that so I do a bit of coaching

in the background and some of those areas because again again, it's, it's about everybody coming up. And if people are ready, if they are ready to go, you know what, I'm, I deserve this wage. I deserve to go in and get this position and I really want it. And I'm like, well, I can help you do that. So there's been a lot of successes there as well. Just, you know, some of the stuff I do on the side, just to help some people out to make sure that, you know, cause I'm all about balance. You know, I just can't do all of the, you know, big stuff. I also like to help out in smaller ways as well. But I'm also going in, I have a dream and it's called my empire. And I talk about it in Fiercely Me. And it's essentially creating this massive empire, which is multifaceted. And so it has obviously a business, but it also has, you know, some, one of my goals is to buy unit blocks and then to essentially refurbish them and to give access to low, so single mothers, low socioeconomic housing for families, which just isn't available. like a place where they can kind of springboard to the next place or that they can just need a

safe place to stay for a while and then, you know, you know, kind of reorientate themselves to go and do the next thing. So there's all these other things outside of my core business that I'm doing to make sure that, because, you know, I've been homeless three or four times. And I talk about that in Fear Slinging as well, is like when you're're homeless it's one of the hardest things to do to kind of get orientation to be able to get to that next place or to go to work or you know like all of those things and so i really wanted to give back as much as i could to you know springboard others and to help others along with my business and my core businesses which i'm doing and i'm you know like i like I'm really good at it.

So, and I love it. It's something I'm very passionate about. So there's all these exciting projects that are coming up in the next 12 months, which I'm very, very happy about. But yeah, so that's just a little bit of what I do. There you go. So how can people onboard with you and reach out? So we, so we, so I have a website.

So it has, and it's broken out into different sections so www.mrsrowe.org and it has all of my offerings that i have on there within business within procurement within contract negotiations also within speaking and bringing me in to you know do to speak at your events but it also, I've also got a project going on, which is a poetry collaboration book, which is called World in Our Words, which is a collaboration of 24 poets around the world. So I've also got that going on as well.

So there's all of the information. I've got events on there. I'm doing writers retreats. I've got business retreats coming up this year. I've got lots of events happening. So there's a lot of information there. There you go. Well, it's been an exciting time to have you on

and definitely motivational. I love your energy. Give us your dot coms as people go out. So www.mrsrowe.org is my website. I am on Instagram and Facebook, which is Mrs. Rowe Author. And I'm on TikTok as Stephanie Rowe. And I'm also on the Google Books and Kobo to buy my e-book.

And Chris, thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute pleasure. I understand that it's Christmas. So this means so much more to me. And it really does touch my heart that you had me on. So thank you so much. And I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Christmas. There you go.

Thank you. It's my gift to you on Christmas. There you go. I didn't give a podcast gift this year, so this is it. Thank you for coming on the show, Stephanie. We really appreciate it. Folks, order up her book, wherever fine books are sold, called Fiercely Me by Stephanie Rowe.

Thanks for tuning in. Go to goodreads.com fortress christmas linkedin.com fortress christmas youtube.com fortress christmas to christmas one on the tickety-tockety thanks for tuning in be good to each other stay safe and we'll see you guys next time