The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Find Your Six: Stop Lead Generating & Start Building Influence by Patrick Kilner

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Find Your Six: Stop Lead Generating & Start Building Influence by Patrick Kilner FIND Your SIX! What if I told you that the ability to find six influential relationships is the only thing standing between you and your biggest goals in business and in life? That your revenue could double or triple if you found the right six? That your search for great business partnerships would evaporate if you could uncover six? That you will never want for the right investors, advocates, and clients if you could find your six? And that you could build a business that you could pass on to your kids or sell if you could just find those six? And what if I told you that one of the biggest challenges to finding your six is the lead generation tactics you've been taught? What if I showed you that they are not just keeping you from your six, but simultaneously robbing you of the fulfillment you deserve and make your business vulnerable to disruption in the era of big tech? Find Your Six is a brief manifesto that shares a new philosophy of how to look at relationships and charts a roadmap for success. You'll discover: Why lead generation has become a losing proposition What true influence is and how to win and develop it systematically How to rethink everything you know about networking How to never compete for business again while growing your revenue every quarter How to win back time for the most important people in your life How to give the gift of influence to others Most of all, you'll learn how to identify, win over, and invest in your six.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain now here's your host chris voss hi folks this is voss here from the chris voss show.com the chris voss show.com hey we're coming here in a great podcast we certainly appreciate you guys tuning in thanks for being here here. As always, refer the show to your family, friends, or relatives. Give us a five-star review over there on iTunes.

We really appreciate it. The Chris Voss Show, 13 years and going. The family that loves you, but doesn't judge you. Who knew that was going to happen? So anyway, guys, as we approach our 13th year, we're really happy to have you guys with us this month alone. At the end of this month, I believe it's September 31st or no, it's October 31st or September 1st. We hit 30 and we're up 30% just this month alone from the crazy numbers that we always have.

So thank you for sharing the show out. Thanks for telling all your friends and hopefully you're going to make us a great crowning achievement here at the end of the month. We certainly appreciate it. The thing just doubles and doubles every year and does the whole, all the years prior every year for the last three to four years. So we're kind of excited to see how the numbers come on the end of this month for the show as much as you can go to linkedin.com, our big LinkedIn newsletter over there, and also go to all our big group of 120,000 on linkedin.com all our groups facebook linkedin twitter instagram and goodreads.com fortune is chris voss thanks for tuning in we've got an amazing author and business mind on the show he's the author of the book find your six stop lead

generating and start building influence just came out, it came out September 1st, 2021. Is there a paperback coming out, Patrick? There is actually. There you go. There you go. So we have a pending paperback. Patrick Kilner is on the show with us today. He's going to be talking about his amazing book and everything that's in it and what he's learned over the years.

So at least what we can cram into 30 minutes to an hour. He is the author, of course, Find Your Six, a speaker and businessman. He's created and led three companies collectively, the Kilner Companies, two in real estate and one in training services. Over two decades as a real estate agent and entrepreneur, Pat realized that traditional models of transactional lead generation weren't fit for the modern world. Searching for an answer to propel his business to new heights, he studied the philosophies that have governed business for thousands of years

and landed on one simple principle. A network of trusted influencers will always be a professional's biggest asset. Welcome to the show, Patrick. How are you? Great, Chris. Thanks for having me. Awesome, Sauce. It's good to have you on. Give us your.com so people can find you on the interwebbage. You can just go to PatrickKilner.com or FindYour6.com. Either one takes you to the same place and download all sorts of free resources on the book. Learn a little about me. Kick the tires on the book. We get a bunch of free stuff on on the website including the first chapter of the book nice nice so is this your first book it is awesome what motivated you want to write this book well i guess a couple things i had been training people in my organizations for a number of years and and was training people outside of those organizations. And of all the things that I was training, when I would get to training them on how to

build networks, they said, I've never heard anything like this. You should write a book about it. I've never seen anything about building networks and how to become disruption proof as a result of the networks that you build, like anything that you like, like what you're bringing out here. So that, that motivated me. And frankly, I think that just the personal challenge of writing a book, you know, so many people say, I've got a book in me. I, I, I, I'm sure I can do it. I thought, well, there's probably a lot of people who say that, who just don't sit down and make it happen. And so I wanted to become a better writer and hired a great editor who kicked my rear end for two years while I,

while I made this thing happen. There you go. I mean, it's, people think it's easy, but man, it's, it's not. I mean, when I wrote my book last year, I had a whole crew of people that were like, we were in a, Oh, what do you call it? We're in a accountability group. And the accountability group's goal was each of us would need to write an hour a day on the book we were working on. And that's a really good people. And, you know, you know, we're supposed to cheerlead each other and they did a great job cheerleading me and them hopefully. But in the end, they just all fell away. And I was the only one who, who finished. How many people were in the end, they just all fell away, and I was the only one who finished. How many people were in the group initially?

Six. I think six. I think there were six, and then I think we went to eight because two people joined midway, and then they fell off. But it was at least six. Only one. Only you finished it. Only me finished it. And we would post our hours every day.

And so, you know, we would all just start, like, doing an hour, doing an hour, doing an hour. And then I started. You could see me ramping where I was doing three to six hours, you know, and I've owned companies since I was 18. So I have all these stories, you know, like you, of multiple companies and building them and stuff. So I have all these stories. I'm like a griot that's been walking around telling my stupid stories for 35 years. So it was really easy just to put it all down on paper, kind of, but then the formatting and the editing, but I'm glad you got through it. A lot of people just don't realize how hard it is. And I think that's why when you become an author, people are like,

Ooh, can I touch you? And you're like, no, stay away from me. Well, and learning to get your butt kicked on a regular basis and being open to that, like, you know what? I haven't done this before, so I probably suck at writing. I write emails every day. I write stuff for people to study every day, but I don't write books in the form that this thing came out in. And man, thank God for good editors and people who were willing to give me really, really great feedback along the way. Yeah, and it's brutal too, man. I mean, like the editor, you'll hand the editor like, I don't know, 50,000 words and they hand you back like a page.

And you're like, yeah, the rest of that was complete shit. I think we've got something in here. If you can just expand on this, these 1,000 words that we didn't throw out, then that would be great. So let's talk about the title of the book. I actually want to delve a little bit into your history. You've owned three companies. How long have you been doing business for yourself or you've been working for yourself? I've been at this for 20 years. 20 years.

Yeah. And I got in the real estate space and I've done everything on commercial, residential, land acquisition, working with builders. That's been a blast and built a company that now, if I get hit by a bus, it continues, which is my definition of a really great company is something that's leverageable like that. Yeah, but you don't want to get hit by the bus though. No, ideally no. I just feel a deep obligation to the people who are in the company who, if something happens to me, and it will at some point. But what if the are in the company who you know if something happens to me and it will at some point but what if what if the people in the company hit you with the have you figured have you yeah i'm gonna wait for that okay all right hire really good people too

yeah that helps you don't see him coming that that's true that's true i i tell all my people if you're going to take me out in my in my ex-wives i'm like if you're going to take me out and my ex-wives, I'm like, if you're going to take me out, just don't let me see it coming. That's the main thing. Just short, sharp shock. Exactly. I mean, if you want me to stand still, just let me know if you want me to stand still. Just I don't want to see the sniper scope. I don't want to see the black.

Don't let me see it gone. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be smiling and happy and probably not around you. Not you personally, but the ex-wife. Anyway, so what types of real estate have you been in? Like give us a- So yeah, I mean, so the residential side, so your classic, I got in as a real estate agent.

You know what you think of, a classic real estate agent, cut my teeth. But simultaneous, I had a mentor who taught me also the commercial side. So I got kicked out of buildings, going door to door, trying to figure out how long people's leases were, all of that stuff as you know, in my twenties, as well as doing that on the, on the residential side, learning the scripts, pounding the phones, looking for people who couldn't sell their house, who I was going to come and save them and be their new fiduciary. Oftentimes, by the way, when you're calling people who fail to sell their house, they're pretty disgruntled. So that was like getting your teeth kicked in every day. And then we now do at

this point, land acquisition, work with developers. That's really cool, fun stuff. You got to know what you're doing to be able to do that because you can mess up stuff pretty easily. But, you know, and picking up rentals and, you know, building portfolios for folks that way as well, which is a lot of fun. So kind of that's part of the beauty of this industry is that you can do a lot of things. You got to become really good at a few things early on that enabled you to fund the rest of it. There you go. There you go. And so you write this book, where did the title originate from? So a lot of people think, well, it came from a military background, like who's got your six. And that's a little bit on purpose. It's a bit of a coincidence. And it really is. I mean,

if you take that paradigm, it really is the people in your life who have your back, regardless of the market conditions. What I found in business is that people who, when there is a disruption, because disruption hits every single type of business, every type of industry, the people who have a deep network with people who have their back are the people who survive disruptions right whether whether they're personal disruptions you know you get you go through a divorce you go through you know losing a kid you go through all sorts of stuff if you have the right people in your life you're going to stay steady the same is true in business and what i had seen is that everything that was fed to me about how to go make business

actually happen early on was tied up in this concept that in the book I call lead generation. Now I have a line item in my budgets that is lead generation. Like what are you spending in order to make business come in the door? Right. That it so pervasive that that's what it looks like. What I found is that the people that I interviewed who had had the most longevity in their careers, who had killed it for the most time, were people who had found just a handful of really potent talent that they could build their business around. And so instead of being talent seekers just to build their company, they actually were talent seekers of people outside of their company to make sure that their brand, that what they were doing was indispensably important in the marketplace. And people who

had done the lead generation stuff, whether they had been geographical farmers or people, you know, pounding the phones and just grinding for dollars through, you know, learning new scripts. They didn't have anything that was unique and valuable in the marketplace when tech disrupted the marketplace or when, you know, when, when 2008 hit and, you know, half of the real estate agent population was cut from 1.5 to 750,000 people. That's a huge, in three years. By the way, that's an absurdly large industry, 1.5 million people. I felt it. We had a mortgage company for 20 years. Yeah, absolutely. And so if what I found is the people that made it through that did not have a lead gen mindset and they had, and this is sort of the message for business owners

that I, that I encapsulate in the book is that when, when you go into business, it's your job to build it indispensably good and not just to be damn good at your craft, but also to surround yourself with people that will allow you to continue when disruption hits. So these are the people that are going to refer you to business. These are people that are going to act as your board of advisors. So whether you're trying to launch a business, most small businesses fail because they don't have the right advice. And having the right people in their court is essential. You can read all the books you want. I just wrote a book. It's a great book, but you can sit down with somebody who's been through their own trials over the course of 20, 30, 40 years, who's going to distill how to make it

in business much better than any book you're ever going to read. There you go. So we live in a world where everyone's trying to get lead generation from like Facebook or, you know, TikTok's the latest, biggest thing. You know, people are trying to always generate leads and run ads and blah, blah, blah, blah. What's the mindset then is different with your program over that? Yeah. Well, it was super interesting that as I did the research, you know, we only began using the term lead generation in 1976 prior to that we didn't actually there was plenty of incredibly like awesome businesses prior to 1976 i think we can all agree but what we didn't have was after 1976 we start to get into a situation where we are, we're treating the consumer as a lead. And as soon as that shift happens, like we all know as a consumer, what it feels like when

someone's just trying to close us to the deal. Yeah. Like, and, and it sucks, right? Like this is why am I going to trust you? I just know you're trying to sell me something here. And you know, there's certain types of transactions. That's fine. Like, what would you like? Do you want fries with that? Okay. You're trying to close me to the fries. And yes, I actually want the fries, but that's a transactional trust. I'm perfectly fine with that. There's other types of business where transactional trust doesn't make you disruption proof, right? So think about how many people do you know who are still travel agents? I don't know any.

I never knew any before either, but I know one actually on Facebook. There was like a bunch like 20 years ago. There was like a thing to do. People would get, okay, I'm going to go become a travel agent, right? It's really cool. I can visit really cool spots. It's basically an industry that's wiped out.

With COVID, yeah. With COVID, but even pre, like, you know, there is, there's just not that many of them.

And you can actually- ticketing and online booking and stuff. Yeah. So when your job can be done better by tech, you're disruptable. And so when, when tech, right, AI just learns how to do lead gen better than human beings. And I do, it does it, it learns faster and it does it around the clock. So if what you're doing on a daily basis can be imitated by AI, then you're going to be out of job pretty soon, which makes your career pretty disruptible.

And so if you can position yourself outside of a lead gen paradigm, right? Cause lead gen is just being, being replaced by, by AI or by people offshore who can do it for cheaper, right? We outsource most of our, and most businesses before AI,

we just went, Hey, we'll, we have 50 of our, in most businesses before AI, we just went, hey, we have 50 people in the Philippines smiling and dialing using the same scripts that we taught you, but you live in a much more expensive place. And you have as many hours of the day, waking hours of the day as they do, but they can do it at different hours than you. So what I'm combating is, what I've seen over the years is people who end up burning out of their careers because what they've been taught to do

and all they ever do is a lead gen approach to things. And from that angle. Yeah. And one of the things I'll ask people is, okay, at the beginning of the year, you started off into whatever career you're in. You're a mortgage loan officer, right? Hey, you started the beginning of the year.

You had certain goals. How are you tracking towards those goals? We're six months into the year, right? Seven months into the year. We're tracking to here. Okay, so maybe you were a little optimistic at the beginning of the year. What tool do you have in your back pocket that's going to bridge the gap between where you are today and where you want to be by the end of the year? Because let's go hit those goals. And they write that tool down and I'll ask them,

okay, well, how many of you are excited about deploying that tool every day, five days a week, six days a week for the next three to five years so that you can have really build the business that you're that you have always wanted. And almost nobody raises their hand because what they've written down is almost all lead generation tactics. And then I'll say, well, OK, you got kids. If if you have kids, is that the type of thing that you would want to give your kids in order for them to have deeply fulfilling, flourishing careers in the future? And of course, nobody raises their hand. And so if you are not deeply excited about doing it yourself and wouldn't transfer that knowledge to your kids, then what are you doing spending the precious time that you have on this earth in that type of activity i i i classify

it as lead gen and that it's meant to be sort of an abrasive idea right like gosh we all talk about lead gen it's ubiquitous but at the end of the day nobody at your funeral goes you know he was the best damn lead that that that might be the only thing they'd say about me he was a real jerk and an asshole but he did generate some leads. It was pretty good. Pretty good. So this is pretty interesting because I think you're right.

So many people think from lead generating. I mean, I don't know about you, but I always get hit up by those people on LinkedIn who go right for the throat. They don't even qualify you. They don't even warm you up. They don't take you to dinner. They just go, hey, do you want some business?

And you're just like, I don't deal in metals. And stop acting like you know me. Exactly. And it's always funny, too. It's like, do you pre-qual? Do you qualify people first? Like, hey, do you use this? No?

Okay, well, move on. It's always so funny it's like hey you know they want to sell you something that you don't need and you're just like what's going on but there you know their focus is like you say just lead generation lead lead lead lead in fact do you want to buy do you want to buy do you know right if not yeah you're you're dispensable what's interesting that dispensability goes the opposite way. So millennials, say, who are getting pitched literally at every swipe, every click online, right? As a generation, millennials are exceptionally good at picking out whether you're authentic or not.

Because they're being pitched constantly yeah and and so if you want to actually win business from that generation you actually have to come across very differently i give them i offer them participation trophies and then i'd use their insert i always tell them if you make a purchase, you get a participation trophy. It works every time. It's amazing. Those are jokes. Just like, well, yeah, like my kids in soccer.

Hey, show up. We're going to, you know, pat you on the rear end. Yeah, I give them a star on their forehead. Exactly. Works better with Jen. This is going to get a lot of hate posts. My, you know what? I lost the five people in the millennial crowd like, I don't know, three years ago or something. So we're good.

That and most of Alabama. But, you know, I think i did a deliverance joke and lost most of alabama but i mean it was two people so they keep coming back because yeah i don't know i i there's a joke there i'm not even gonna do all right so let's talk about this what is true influence because you're talking about true influence as opposed to just lead gen. How do you define that and how do you develop it? Well, and it's really about the people you hang out with, right? So, you know, Now is that the people from Alabama? No, I'm just kidding. No. Yeah. Not at all. I'm going to call back on that.

Right. There's, you know, there's this old, I think it was Jim Rohn who said, you know, you're the average of the five people that you hang out with the most, right? Yeah. So that is, I think I've found that to be certainly true. You want to get in better shape. It's who are you hanging out with? You want to, you know, have a great spiritual journey. Who are you hanging out with? You want to, you want to develop influence yourself.

Who are you hanging out with. And so how do you find those people? You want to, you want to bring business in the door in a way that, that the most successful people in your marketplace have done for the last 30 or 40 years, go hang out with them, figure out what they're doing. So how do you go find those six people? Pardon? Stock them. You could stock them. could stock them okay probably not the most authentic way to go but but that's the y'all says i spent i spend half the book talking about you know what are you looking for there yeah and and there are really three three ways in which you're looking for this talent you're looking for you're in a talent search no matter what business you're in you're in you're looking for talent you're looking for talent internally to grow your business through great people who come in, who you can train,

who you can mentor, or you're looking for people externally. And a lot of people miss that they're actually, you're in the talent game externally. So what are the three characteristics of those people? It's for me in particular, I think this is the case, especially in service industries, longevity with people. So one of the things that allows people to establish trust is that you just clock a lot of hours with them. So over the years, I've gotten tons of business from great financial advisors, why they clock a ton of hours of people. Yeah. And that allows them to establish deep trust. So those two things really go hand in hand, that longevity question. So who is spending the most time with your ideal client?

Oh, my competitors. No, I'm just kidding. There's them, right? Who are they getting them from, right? Can I get them to be my influencer? I'm just kidding. Hey, they're going to go out of business eventually anyway. I think I did that actually with our first businesses.

I wrote this in my book, we went dumpster diving, but it's probably not the referral influencers that you're talking about. I've had people actually who I competed with in the marketplace who got out before me and sold me their business. Oh, that's pretty awesome. Which is pretty cool. So don't burn bridges as you're competing. That's maybe a lot, but I didn't see them as one of my six. It just, you know, it happened.

But longevity at a very high level. So, you know, when people are, here's a great example of longevity. One of, one of my good friends and a past client in the legal services industry, selling stuff to lawyers went in and found the lady at the front desk who had been there for 35 years, who knew whatever, if, if the partner was having marital problems, if they were out on lunch, right? If they were, you know, if they're having a good year or not, if they won that case, she knew everything. She knew where their parking spot was. She had been there for 35 years. The partners trusted her implicitly.

She was the gatekeeper to the biggest firm that he ever landed. So longevity, first thing, which enabled her to establish deep trust with the partners. And then the third is the approach to work. And what I'm looking for when it comes to approach to work is somebody who has an owner's mindset. Now, this lady at the front desk had an owner's mindset to her job, which is pretty awesome. It doesn't mean that you necessarily have your name on the side of the building that you're the owner.

A lot of people's name on the side of the building are kind of checked out, but they have other people who are running things and who really feel an ownership of the organization. So longevity, trust established, and approach to work. And you can kind of think about it as a pyramid. There's a ton of people at the bottom of that pyramid who have very short-term sort of relationships with their clients, a day or less, who deal mostly in transactional trust.

They're just, you know, do you want fries with that? You know, it's a very, it's a very, hey, if you don't want to buy right now, we don't need to be around each other. And they approach things through sort of a Fred Flintstone, like working for the weekend. Hey, I'm, you're, you're paying me to be here for only so many hours and I'm out and I'm, I'm done with you after that point. That's very much not an owner's mindset. And the people I was looking to network with were the exact opposite of that.

They were typically spending, clocking a month or more time with people. And that could take years. They had a fundamental trust insofar as when they were trusted, they made exponentially more money than their competitors or anybody in their industry, right? So there's people who, oh, a nice bonus if you trust me. That's sort of like the middle of the pyramid. But the number of people who you know who are at the top of that pyramid who deal in high-level fundamental trust are very, very few. So now you're looking for really a one in 20 talent. And so you've probably hired out of pain, right? Like somebody leaves and you got to fill that position, right? Well, if you're not in the talent game, you don't have a bench of talent.

You don't know who you're going to put in that spot. The same is true for disruption proofing your business when it comes to finding the right people in your marketplace to refer your business, to give you great advice so that when disruption hits, because it's going to hit for everybody, you're in a really great position. And that really, what's kind of cool about this whole thing is that the amount of time that you have to spend once you find the top of the pyramid people for you is hyper-efficient. To the bottom, like, hey, I don't mind talking, by the way, about lead generation when we're talking about a marketing play. Marketing is all about, hey,

how many eyeballs can we have on things? When it comes to actually getting people committed to purchasing with you, to doing business with you, to putting their name to you, I want that to be a much more efficient conversation. And so I may have to touch somebody 50 times if I'm doing marketing. But if I sit down with somebody who is massively influential in my marketplace, who has the potential to send me serious business and I'm making an investment into that relationship effectively, that's going to be reciprocated at least the two-to-one ratio. And then do you – so you do reciprocate back.

If you're in these relationships with six other people, you're reciprocating back and passing leads back and forth basically is that well it's not just a lead it's not just a lead sharing idea like anybody can join bni and do that right like yeah i was part of that right and that's you sit down and then the whole objective is that if you can figure out think about this if you had six people who you were trying to figure out how to build their business, you connected them to other awesome people or other tremendous resources for their business. Then you made it your job to figure out how to make sure that they could get through any disruption they were going to come up against. They had the internal talent that they needed. They, you know, when you came across a really great resource, because you're in the talent game, you're constantly connecting them to other really influential people.

When you do that for other people, there's nobody categorically in their mind who they would want to give business to outside of you. There you go. You know, I've met people in my life that are real. They're just like monster lead sharing. You know, I've met people in my life that are real. They're just like monster lead sharing. You know, I know a guy sort of people. And I've met two of them in my whole life. And, you know, they'll call you up. They'll go, hey, I met this guy, and I think he might be able to help you do business.

And they're like this hub. That might be the best way to describe them. They're like a hub. And it's just like, geez, they know everybody best way to describe them. And they're like a hub and it's like, Jesus, they know everybody and everybody knows them. Right. And they'll,

they'll constantly be referring your business and, and, and they're like, Hey, like you can call them and go, Hey, do you know a guy who knows a guy? And you know, that sort of thing,

not that sort of, not like a Jersey thing where like, Hey, I know a guy, but you know, like, you know, so I met a few of those and,

and they are quite extraordinary people to have in your life when you can find them. But is it hard to find these people and develop these? How long does it take to usually develop them? Do you usually find them? So that was a big part of codifying this. What I found is people who had lasted in their careers longest, over the course of their entire career, they basically accidentally found six. So that was what was interesting about the research in the book is I sat down with the most experienced people I knew typically at the end of their

careers and I'd interview them. And the average number of people that were pivotal for them to getting to where they, where they wanted to be and where they had sort of who they had become professionally was just six people, which is pretty tremendous. I expected it to be 20 or 30 or more people, but it was just a handful plus one. So that was really kind of a wild thing. Then the question was, okay, what did they do that was accidental to them that I could codify and put into a system for going and finding those people faster? Like, what if you're just starting a business, you're in your twenties, you're just starting a business and you, gosh, what would it look like if you found your six in the first year of being in

business? That'd be pretty awesome. That'd be stinking tremendous. And that's what the book is, is actually on my website. I give a Find Your Six challenge. And the premise is I want to kick people off to be able to find these folks in six months to a year. And you're looking for a one in 20 talent. And if you're having the right type of conversation with one person a day, every single day,

but you have to, you have to know who you're looking for and you have to be really artful at the conversation. I spent an entire chapter on the art of those conversations and continue and invest into people correctly. This is not speed dating marketing, right? This is,

or, or speed date network, right? It's not that link, those LinkedIn emails. No, they're not. It's not that link, those LinkedIn emails then? No, they're not. It's not that. It's not showing up to like a chamber of commerce and handing out as many stinking cards as you can as well. It's, it's much more purposeful and focused than that. So how to go find those people and have the right conversation, you can do it in a year. And,

and it's, and what it's like accelerant, it just, it grows. It's just how much do you want to put into the account early on to allow for compounding interest to work for you? You can take your entire career or you can do it in a year. And, and that's the idea behind the book is, you know, this does not take you longer. Oftentimes we think well oh gosh the relationship thing that takes tons and tons of time like it's much faster to just do their lead gen thing wrong in your book you talk about how to win back time for the most important people in your life talks us about what that means what that's about i'm glad you touched on that

that's so you know. So I mentioned the efficiency of finding these people at the top of your pyramid. And we have a paradigm in my businesses, which is spend your professional time, effort and money on the most influential people that you can find on a daily basis in your business, whoever that is, right? It's going to change depending on the person, the business location so that you can spend your

personal time, effort, and money with, in my case, it's typically the people running around in diapers who have my same last name, right? Those are the most important people to me, you know? And, and so I want to go spend time with them, but when i step out the door to go do what i do i feel an obligation to go spend time with the most influential people to bulletproof my business no matter what happens and to to have the most efficient use of my time because i i actually want to put down my phone at six o'clock and have dinner and actually be present to them and not have to respond to the lead that came in at 9 o'clock in the evening. Right? But if you put in the time correctly, you can have leverage.

Definitely. Definitely. I noticed on your website here that you can order the first chapter if people want to take and sample it. A lot of people go to Amazon, but they can go to your website. Yeah, free chapter right on your website and free chapter, so you can kind of delve into it and kind of understand it more. You're talking about how to give the gift of influence to others. How does that work? Well, think about finding these people, you know, you become the people that you hang out with, you're going to become an influencer. And by the way, when you think about just in a first year, if five days a week,

you're having one really amazing conversation with a different person every single day, you're going to have an amazing, we used to call it Rolodex back in the day, right? But you're going to have an amazing group of people that you can refer to others. And you're going to be at this, you're going to be central to that. You're going to be the hub to that. And so what do people need who are influential themselves? They need connections to other influencers. So the gift of influence is really a gift of wisdom. What do people need who have it all, if you will, right? You know, they don't need, they don't need a new wallet or a new wristwatch. They need connections to other really stinking wise people.

Because wisdom is kind of the only thing worth going for these days. Information and knowledge even is kind of ubiquitous. It's just a few clicks away and a few articles written or read. But being able to wisely deploy your business into the marketplace is the only thing that makes you disruption-proof and indispensable. So go hang out with those people on a daily basis. What's cool about this is when you ask people the question,

like, okay, now would you do that every day, five days a week for two hours a day for the next three to five years and be more excited about it at the end of that timeframe? Everybody says, yeah, that'd be a stinking blast. But I don't actually believe I'd make money at it yet because I don't have a system for it. That's why I wrote the book. There you go. There you go.

Well, this has been pretty insightful. You know, most people, you know, they think from just that kind of that shotgun generation approach. And they don't really sit down and take it from the paradigm that you have. And I've met these type of people. They're amazing people when you find them. And, you know, I mean, I think everyone gets used to going to them and saying, hey, do you know a guy that could do this? And they know everybody. Like, they'll meet people and refer you. And they'll be like, hey, I know a guy that you should talk to.

Here he is. And stuff. Do you usually, my last question, do you usually need to set up with these six people a payment, kickback, referral fee sort of arrangement? Absolutely not. So these are people that we're all helping each other out and rocking it. Yeah. zero so these are people that we're we're all helping each other out rocking it yeah look i mean that's what especially the most influential people you know they they're not gonna they're not gonna wonder if they're gonna be successful they know they're gonna make enough money they don't need a kickback what they need is creative ideas from other people who are in, you know, the one thing that doesn't work,

if you're not in a growth phase, you're going to be a relatively weak influencer of people. And I know people who are in growth phases well into their sixties and early seventies, that they're just constantly trying to grow because it's a habit at that point. And they may be technically at the end of their career, but they're still in a growth phase. But what I'm looking for is, is people who, who have that desire for personal and professional growth. And when you find those people, what they're looking for is do, do a lot of business together. And I may, I mean, I've had people who I know I'm not going to run across a lead for you, but once a year, but I can add value to your business in a really great way. I can make amazing connections to you. So what would it look like if every day you had one of those conversations, you set up one of those conversations and you made an awesome connection between two badasses in your marketplace, and you were the reason why they connected?

Who's the first person they're going to talk about when they meet? It's you. It's that person, yeah. It's you. And so you talk about that's the greatest free marketing on the face of the earth. And you can be at the center of it. Awesome sauce. A great way to think about doing business because, yeah, I mean, qualified referrals from people that are smart and trusted makes all the difference than just, you know, going around and sending messages to people on LinkedIn.

So maybe what you should do is whenever you get those messages from LinkedIn, you can counter them and just say, hey, buy my book. This might be a better way to go about what you're doing. We could, yeah. Yeah, there you go. I'd sell a lot of books that way, Chris. You probably would. Based on the message I get, I mean, I got like 60,000, 30,000 followers, 30,000 max on the thing. The message I get, holy freaking crap.

Maybe I'll sell your book for you and whatever. We'll just change the lead or something. I'll give you a kickback. There you go. Thanks, Pat. So, Pat, you also do speaking as well. We should probably throw that in there as we go. Yeah, I do. I do.

There you go. Pick up Pat for speaking for your favorite corporate event. Pat, give me your.com so people can find you on the airwaves please so yeah again patrick kilner.com or find your six s i x all spelled out dot com that's where you go there you go thanks for coming on the show pat we really appreciate it chris it was a blast thanks for having me there you go or fine folks it's monday order up the book wherever fine books are sold but remember stay out of those alleyway bookstores. You'll need a tetanus shot. And I got shanked in one last week.

So don't do that. I wouldn't buy the watch that he was offering. Anyway, find your six. Stop lead generating and start building influence. You'll want to check that out, baby. I'll watch for the pending paperback coming out later this year. Thanks, guys, for tuning in. Be good to each other.

Stay safe. And we'll see you guys next time.