The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Free and First: Unlocking Your Ultimate Life by Elizabeth Jane

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

Free and First: Unlocking Your Ultimate Life by Elizabeth Jane Elizabeth Jane openly shares her transformational journey to encourage us to fully embark on our own, to become the master of our mind and leader of our life. Elizabeth’s story is interlaced with easy-to-use tools, based on her learnings from her spiritual teachers, and her intense time living in an Indian ashram. Elizabeth’s emerging intuitive art and poetry emanate their own healing energy and are cleverly interwoven to reinforce the wisdom of her words. A must-read for anyone wanting to embrace the best of what life has to offer. “This is a deeply personal story in which the author shares her journey of self-discovery. This book enables readers to identify the subconscious factors that influence their everyday perceptions of themselves and how these factors, in turn, affect their lives. Throughout the book, the author highlights negative influences which impact on self-worth, the importance of being true to oneself, and acknowledging one’s needs and emotions. She also provides many techniques and additional resources to help the reader better understand their innermost thoughts and help them move forward to achieve an ‘ultimate life’. The book also includes a number of original poems and artworks which the author has created during her continuing journey.” About the author Elizabeth Jane is a painter, poet, writer and author. She has four adult children and lives in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Elizabeth graduated with a Bachelor of Commerce and later qualified as a primary school teacher. She now directs her focus towards her creative talents, through which she hopes to inspire others to live their best life. An eternal optimist, believing obstacles to be opportunities, Elizabeth has always enjoyed uplifting people. Just recently she has found her true joy in creating, whether with interior or landscape design, painting, poetry or writing. She believes that creative therapy is the best way to unlock your joy and true potential, to live your best life.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast. The hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show. The preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready. Get ready. Strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, folks. Chris Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com, thechrisvossshow.com. Welcome to the big big show we certainly appreciate you guys coming by without you guys we certainly couldn't do this show for 16 years we bring you the smartest people

the ceos the billionaires the white house presidential advisors the pulitzer prize winners the great authors the great minds the people bring their stories of life and help you improve the quality of your life and without the chris voss show i mean your life would never improve so there's that anyway we have an amazing author on the show with us today elizabeth jane will be joining us she is the author of her new book that came out october 2023 it's called free and first unlocking your ultimate life and she'll be talking to us about how you too can unlock your ultimate life and how she did hers. Elizabeth is an Australian artist, author, and public speaker.

She uses a selection of painting media in her art, including acrylic oil and watercolor. Digital and canvas versions of her art are available through purchase through her website. And her debut book, Free and First, was written as part of her healing process following her divorce, which ended a 25-year marriage. She aims to develop wellness centers and healing sanctuaries focused on helping people to recover from relationship breakdowns and other life issues. Welcome to the show, Elizabeth. How are you? I'm very well, thanks, Chris. Thanks for having me today. Thank you for coming. We really appreciate it.

Give us your dot coms. Where do you want people to find you on the interwebs? Yes, well, you can jump on my website, elizabethjane.com.au. It's very easy. We need AU for Australia. Australia, the great down under, as it were. Yes.

Koala bears and Vegemite. Yes. And you comeia the great down under as it were yes koala bears and vegemite yes and you come from land down under a minute work there you go i'm actually painting koalas as we speak oh really wow they're beautiful little creatures children's book children's book with koalas those things are cute as a button so So give us a 30,000 overview. What's inside your new book, free and first? Okay, so my book is really, when I went through my divorce, I was looking for a toolkit, Chris, because I didn't really expect, it was an unexpected divorce, and I found it was so traumatic and I started to look out in the world for tools to

get me out of the mess that I was in and I started journaling and so the book organically grew from my experience and the experiences that I had in the last six years. And so it's a book that can actually, I didn't want to make it too profuse. I didn't want to make a book that was too profuse because if people are going through a challenge, that's the last thing that they want is a book that's really difficult to get into. So it's got tools and tips to help you step more gracefully through any challenge and whether that be relationship-based, financial or health-based. And it's, yeah, ready-to-use tools and, yes, hopefully it's helping people around the world

to get through the messy stuff. You know, life can be messy and it's short, isn't it, Chris? You know, we want to have a fun time. We want to have a good time. We want to feel good. So I thought this book was just paramount for me to get it out. I did it for my children, my friends, and humanity. I want to get it from the world to help people.

Well, these are the things we love in The Chris Voss Show. Stories are the owner's manual to life, I always say. And that's how we learn from each other. That's how we learn how to navigate life. That's how we find out we're not alone in some of the problems that we have, which make it easier for us to find people that have the tools that we can do to overcome some of the cathartic times and moments in life. And certainly a very cathartic time is usually a divorce. It's usually the death of an idea, a concept, a love, something you believed in, something you maybe thought you were going to

spend the rest of your life in. And that vehicle, you know, ends and the road ends and you go your separate ways. And so it's hard for people. It's almost, you know, people that I've met that go through divorce and two or three years after, it's almost like grieving the death of something. And so they have to go through the grieving process. And then from there, they usually, you know, their identity for, in your case, 25 years, has been the marriage and working together towards that partnership. And when that death happens, they find themselves that they're alone. And so they have to rebuild after they go through the grieving process, a new identity of who they are. And so it's quite the journey. Tell us a little bit about your

growing up. I mean, I would imagine sometime during your process of being married, you became this great artist and you were working on your art and different things. Tell us about what influenced you maybe from childhood to get into art become an artist and and then um how did how did how did that develop and how did you develop through your art um through your marriage and then uh and then ultimately the end of it yes well um it's it's interesting because um growing up i was was always out to please everyone I was the eldest daughter eldest child and I was pleasing my parents pleasing a perfectionist pleasing my parents pleasing this my teachers and later went

on you know as a in that people pleasing category um and at school you know my parents said no you can't do art you can't do drama that's you know that's a soft soft subject you have to get into the maths the physics and the chemistry so so Chris I I my journey was I'm a chartered accountant you know I'm a I'm a liquidator a chartered accountant I had that held that role but as soon as I became chartered, I gave my parents a certificate and said, well, you can put that on the wall. And next I did primary school teaching, which was more into what I felt I was heading the right direction

because I loved uplifting people and helping people, and so I enjoyed that for a while. But it's just it was the trauma of the divorce that actually set me onto the swing of the writing poetry and books and the illustrations and paintings. There you go. So I've looked over your website and seen your various paintings and drawings. So none of this started until you got divorced?

Exactly. Wow. There you go. So you used art to kind of help you navigate the divorce and finding yourself again there. Yes. So one of my tools is that art, anything creative, I believe, can be therapeutic and help people with whatever trauma they've experienced, whether that's through divorce or whatever form comes in. Because when you're spending time in pursuing a hobby

or something creative, your mind is focused in the present. And that's when we, I believe, we heal. Because our mind can be very busy, Chris. Research tells me we've got 60,000 thoughts a day and we make up to 30,000 decisions. Obviously, our choices are 30,000. They're unconscious. We don't really know whether it's you know, whether it's choosing almond milk

or cow's milk on our cereal, there's so many decisions we make. But if we're not aware of them, and so when we're thinking in the past or the future, we lose, we can, they're not really real, you know, like we can be, in the future we can be catastrophizing about things that may happen. And in the past we're often, I found myself, you know, often going into the blame and the shame and the regret of, you know, in the early days, really going into the drama

and it just made me feel worse. So the writing and the painting kept me in the present and stopped me, you know, I think I say in my book, my monkey mind going into the past, which just pulled me down into a really bad place because I'd be going, oh, what could I have done to make the marriage work? How did this happen? I must have done something wrong.

It's always, you know, I went into blame, blaming myself, shaming and, you know, all the emotions emotions but they weren't very helpful emotions yeah so um yes so and there's a lot of emotions of going through that um and so it's beautiful that you found an art you found a way to focus on on the beauty of life the journey of life and different things what what were some of the things that you talk about in the book and maybe advice that you give to people in some of the challenges you overcome? Do you have some examples you'd like to share? Yes, yes.

In the beginning, I can remember my well-meaning teachers and counselors that just had come out and say, well, what's my homework? I've had my session, what's my homework? I've had my session and, you know, what's my homework? And they would say simply, follow your joy, follow your joy. And I think in the early days when you're really in a traumatic state, tend to say following something that you enjoy is, I believe, paramount to get through the day or to get through that hour or to get through, you know, when it's very,

when you're really in the trauma. But then as I explored and a few months in, I'd say, well, what's my homework now? You know, I'm following my joy and I've taken up painting and I'm writing and, okay, your homework is to do nothing. Well, I didn't like that because I didn't like that at all. I like to be busy because I'm thinking I'm being productive I'm being you know worthy I'm you know I don't want to waste my time or other people's time but that

was the biggest most powerful thing she could have said because when we have time we're all busy everyone's busy everyone's busy with work busy with family we're all as i sometimes say in the hamster wheel we're going round and round the hamster wheel but if we can take a break out of the hamster wheel that is when we can be left to feel how we feel. And Charlie Chapman's quoted in my book. He's quoted the problem with humanity is we think too much and we feel too little. So we have to stop. So we stop and we feel how we feel.

And then the ABC of me is A, acknowledge, accept, allow how we feel. So we have to stop to feel and then B is boundaries, putting boundaries in place, and C is the communication of our boundaries. And then with those tools, the ABC of me, A, acknowledging how we feel, B, putting boundaries in place, and C, communicating those boundaries and standing up for what matters for us.

We free ourselves, Chris. You know, we free ourselves. But it's not as easy because a lot of people go, oh, can't I just do C? You know, can't I just do, you know, can't I just do C? You know, it's a busy life. I can't really be stopping, you know, can't I just get there? You know, it's a busy life. I can't really be stopping. You know, that's just not going to work for me. I can't just jump to the end, you know.

I'd love to be offering, you know, a quick-fix pill. Wouldn't that be good? That would be nice. Well, I mean, there are quick-fix pills, but they're not long-term solutions, I think. That's true. And they kind of just give you escapism as opposed to dealing with your issue. The vodka bottle can only work so much, you know, can't it?

I mean, you know, like it's not a – I was really looking – I'm looking for a – this book offers just strength and abundance in every area of your life. Because as you actually speak, you go back into your authentic self and you speak your truth and you've got the tools to do it, then you free yourself and your life really takes a turn for the better. There you go. Yeah, it can make all the difference in the world. Now, it says here in the book, I guess, your kids

maybe turned you on to the art world. Is that true? They gave you a voucher or coupon or something? It's funny how the universe works, Chris. I really think I really do believe that the universe opens doors to things that are good for you and good for the planet and good for your mates,

you know, and it sometimes can cause a bit of friction where things have to move, you know, like if things are just off track. And with the children, it was a Christmas present and it was an invitation to go to a cork and canvas um you know have a have a drink with you with your girlfriends and you know and uh have a have a paint you know there was a an artist up the front and we're all drawing painting palm trees and at the end of the class um you know my girlfriend said oh your palm tree is good. I think you should enroll in a few painting lessons. And

so that's what happened. In May 2019, the actual painting on the front cover of my book is my first painting, actually. Wow, that's the cover of the book, huh? Yes. So that was in my painting class of 25 students. I was sort of, you know, the teacher would brush past me and spur me on and tell me what to do.

And I had two lessons doing oils, dark oils, and then went into acrylics on the top and then a lacquer to finish as well as text. So, yeah, it just sort of, I think it's just really when we don't really mind, we turn internal and we look at ourselves and we go, I'm just going to give it a go. I just plunged into painting. I didn't care what I looked like, what happened. The teacher had bought my canvases.

The teacher had bought my paints because I had no idea. And I just let loose on the canvas. So and I think that's the thing. I think we often get tied up with, you know, was this the right way to do things? And I just decided I would just go for it, you know? There you go. Go for it.

And let loose. And it looks like, you know, I think art's a great way to be a vehicle for emotion or conduit maybe it's a good word for emotion processing emotion feeling emotion you know a lot of people evoke emotion when they look at paintings and different things so this is a way that you can certainly enjoy that and everything else. One thing I noticed too is in the book, I believe you mentioned you found gratitude when you went out of town and kind of isolated yourself and you started to find gratitude, which was something that started helping you go through the changeover. Do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Yes, yes. uh yes yes i think i think the the emotions the gratitude to i think when we focus on gratitude i found that i was bringing in more things that i'd be grateful for whereas focused on um what i didn't have then it just didn't assist me so much. So gratitude is a really big tool for lifting up into a higher vibe, a better mood, whatever we want to call it here. So gratitude is top of my list and then also with the ABC of me tool, letting go of the other emotions that plug us down. You know, I'm drawing hot air balloons on a children's book at the moment

where the koalas waving goodbye, all the emotions that need to pass on, you know, like non-forgiveness, sadness, anger, and allowing more space for gratitude, gratitude and joy, playing like a child. Ten minutes a day of just going, hey, I'm just going to go and play hopscotch. You know, I'm going to do something silly, something fun, do something. It really just something fun, do something. It really just lifts you, you know.

And so gratitude is, of course, for my four healthy children, which are, you know, they're in their 20s now. And I'm really grateful to live in a country such as Australia and be free, be free to be me. There you go. There you go. So the book is great, gives you easy tools and learnings from spiritual teachers. And now you mentioned too, you at one point lived in an Indian ashram?

Yes, yes. Tell us a little bit about what that was like. Yes. Well, it was divine timing to go. Just before, it was in 2017 when the marriage started to crumble, it was my first visit and I went directly back. I had six visits before the lockdown in, well, March 2020. I got back in March 2020 and I went directly to the ashram. The ashram gave me, it's a bit like it immersed me in high energy and it sort of helped to wash out, I believe,

a lot of the darker emotions that I was holding onto, all the grief, the shock, the denial, the anger, all the emotions that were embedded within me because and so it was really like I felt recharged each time I went. I felt recharged like I'd been in, you know, like you go to a rainforest and, you know, you're under a waterfall, you feel energised. If you go down to the pub with your mates, you might not, you know, the next day especially, you might not feel so energised. So it's really about immersing yourself in high vibrational energy,

which really helped me at this traumatic time. There you go. There you go. So you found a lot of different resources to help you get through your time and everything else, a lot of different ways to go about that, and created a toolbox for people. That's just wonderful.

Final thoughts as we go out and tell people where to pick up the book. Yes, yes. The best way is to jump on my website, elizabethjane.com.au, and just press the Buy Now button, and it will be delivered to you wherever you are in the world. That's the best way. There you go. There you go.

So thank you very much for coming on. Give us your.com so people can find you on the interwebs. Yes. So it's elizabethjane.com.au. And if you go down, please follow me on Facebook and Instagram. On my Facebook and both my social media, I post all the interviews that I'm doing around the world. They've all got different sort of themes,

but they're all about lifting up into a better feel-good mode. And no matter what you're going through in your life, there's tools that you can take on straight away and get results. There you go. So thank you much, Elizabeth, for coming on the show we really appreciate it oh it's my pleasure chris thank you thank you and thanks for tuning in order the book where refined books are sold it's called free and first unlocking your ultimate life uh it came out in october uh in september i think on amazon it says here in America. 2023, you can get it wherever fine books are sold. Thanks for being here, everyone.

Be good to each other, stay safe, and we'll see you guys next time.