The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – How to be a Good Dog Learning to Sit, Stay, and Heal By Phyllis Coletta

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

How to be a Good Dog Learning to Sit, Stay, and Heal By Phyllis Coletta Howtobeagooddog.com https://store.bookbaby.com/book/how-to-be-a-good-dog Overview "How to Be a Good Dog: Learning to Sit, Stay, and Heal" is a field manual for people who want to stop the madness in their minds. Learning to meditate is like taking a wild puppy — you know, the one eating socks and ripping up the couch in your brain—and transforming it into a faithful, reliable companion. Written for anyone tired of their mental chaos, (like a 40-year-old mom with kids), this is a meditation guide that uses the "F" word with impunity and does not sanction mysterious mantras, mudras, or hemp clothing. The book is for anyone worn down by the endlessly judgmental, negative commentator residing between their ears. Weary of the inner noise? Readers are guaranteed to laugh, relax, and learn how to find their mental alpha dog and train that unruly pup to sit, stay, and heal. Description "How to Be a Good Dog: Learning to Sit, Stay, and Heal" is a field manual for people who want to stop the madness in their minds. Learning to meditate is about taking that wild puppy in your mind— you know, the one eating socks and ripping up the couch—and transforming it into a reliable companion. While meditation may seem simple, it is no easy feat. Training your puppy mind requires discipline, courage, and the willingness to be quiet. No phones, kids, co-workers, or partners—meditation is the bravest solo trek you'll ever take. When you train your mind to sit, stay, and heal, you open your mind to a powerful force you never knew you had. Your mind will respond to every blow, joy, and sorrow with willingness, humor, and peace. Once your mind is a good dog, there is no going back to the chaos of puppyhood. If you want to heal the world, you must begin with yourself. Your healing will radiate out to your family, loved ones, and communities. Train your mind through meditation, and life will become a walk in the park. About The Author Phyllis Coletta is the fourth of six children in a loud, loving Italian family from Philadelphia. A single mom of three boys, Phyllis was a litigation attorney, so her soul withered for over a decade. Three days after her youngest son graduated high school, she quit her job, sold her house, and gave away most of her stuff. At 48, with everything she needed in her Honda CRV, Phyllis headed to Colorado to be a cowgirl. She has also been a high school teacher, EMT, ski bum, and writer. As an ordained Zen Buddhist chaplain, Phyllis worked as a hospital/hospice chaplain. After her adventures in Colorado, Phyllis lives mostly barefoot at the Jersey shore where she raised her boys. You can reach her at [e-mail]

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Because you're about to go on a moment. monster education roller coaster with your brain now here's your host chris voss here from the chris voss show dot com ladies no one there at least things that makes official welcome 16 years and 2,500 episodes of the chris voss show my back is tired from carrying this show during years but uh you know it is what it is you got to do that sometimes so it's all for the benefit and glory of our audience but do us a favor is the glorify audience that you art, thou art. Go to Goodrease.com, Fortezs, Chris Foss.

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Today we have an amazing lady on the show. Phyllis Coletta joins us. Her book is called How to Be a Good Good dog. Learning to sit, stay, and heal. And we're going to get into what that means, what it's about, and maybe it's just not for dogs. Maybe it's something we need to learn. Phyllis is a fourth of six children in a loud, loving Italian family from Philadelphia. A single mom with a three boys, she was a litigation attorney, so her soul withered. Over a decade, three days after her youngest son graduated high school, she quit her job, sold her house,

and gave away most of her stuff. At 48, with everything she needed in her husband. on to CRV. She headed at Colorado to be a cowgirl. And she's also been a high school teacher, EMT, ski bum, and writer. As ordained Zen Buddhist chaplain, she worked as a hospital hospice chaplain. And her adventures in Colorado lives mostly barefoot at the Jersey store where she raised her boys. So we'll get into that. Welcome to show. How are you, Phyllis? I'm great, Chris. How are you doing? I am excellent. I am excellent. Give us any dot coms. Where do you want people to find you on the universe. I want them to go to how to be a good dog.com.

That's the best URL. I can't even believe I got it because who doesn't love a good dog, right? Yeah. Now, if they don't go, do you hit them with the newspaper? Jumping right in, huh? Jump right in. Yeah. So give us a 30,000 overview.

What's inside this book? Well, it's not really a book about training dogs. It's a book about training people. And so it's about training our minds as if they were puppies because we are all like so chaotic right now and most of us live lives that are busy and chaotic and crazy and you know that expression about a puppy being all over the place that's generally what our minds are like like all day long we have this chatter and these dialogues actually some monologue and so many people would love to have some peace of mind but they just don't know how to get there

and meditation is the way to do it but it has been so like shrouded in mystery with the mantras and the mudras and all the, you know, all the stuff that the kind of complex tells you you have to have to meditate. And I just have another way of seeing it that has been highly effective, not only for me, but for people that have bought the book and read it and my friends and family who know me. And that's to take the analogy of training your mind as you would a puppy. Because, Chris, I can't think of anything more valuable in your life than a well-trained mind. Now, that's a bold statement, right? but the truth is if your mind is out of control chaotic filled with stuff your life is going to be that way as well like your mind is the driver of everything and we don't take the time to really discipline and train them and meditation seems so scary and spiritual and all that stuff most people don't even give it a try yeah so do i need to do that furry thing where i dress up like a dog and um if you want to

Hey, do you, Chris, you know, whatever. You know, I mean, you want me to sit, stay, and learn. It seems like I should embody the, you know, it's kind of like when those actors go into method acting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, do I have to do that whole thing? I can see my whole team on a corporate level doing this. No. What are you doing today?

Chris is taking us dress up like dogs. We're in a bark and he's going to teach us how to sit down and shut. Well, it would be nice if you could teach your mind to do that. No, you don't need to dress up. unless that's your thing, Chris, though. We're not trying to be... Oh, okay. I think I just exposed my kink of being a furry.

You can see that on Chris Foss's Onlyfans.com. All right. I'm going right there as soon as we're done here. Anybody who Googles that is just wrong. You use the principles of training a dog to help reduce chaos. One of my challenges, I have a lot of chaos. I have ADHD, OCD, and I don't know, F-U-C-K. Some people tell me, maybe they're just,

referring to me. They usually fall with an off. So, uh, how does this work? I mean, do I need to get a call? Once again, I'm going back into it. There you go. A collar or leash. Shot caller? No. I get shot collar. Bad thoughts. Kind of. We'll get there. Well, no shocks. No shot collars. But we will learn to leave it. Like when your dog's ready to eat a pile of garbage, right? It's the same analogy as when you have these terrible, weird, awful, negative thoughts in your head. You just have to learn to leave it so no you don't need to start there like all you need to do is um commit to the to the idea of learning to sit still because there's a there's a story and it was an interview was done with uh bill gates and warren buffett right successful guys correct like two of the richest people maybe i

don't know yeah they're all right evidently it's trillioners now according to i oh i can't wait add a couple zeros right but like somebody was interviewing them and he gave them each a piece of paper and he said, I want you not look, but each of you write down the one word that is the defining way that you got to success. And not surprisingly, they both wrote down the same word and they turned it over and it was focus. Really? Yeah, focus. So to be, I'm not just talking about being successful in terms of health and all that stuff. We want to be probably successful, like be happy, not be crazy all the time, not be angry all the time, not be all the things, of the emotions that tend to ruin us.

And if you can regulate your emotional states, your life is like 100% better. Oh, yeah. You know, you get a puppy, right? And we all have been there. You said, what kind of dog do you have? Husky. Right. Did you get them as a puppy?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we've all been there, right? And they're just out of control. The energy is wild. They're tearing up stuff. They're chewing your shoes.

They're pooping everywhere. That's what our minds are like on a daily. basis. It's exhausting. Puppies are exhausting, right? Cooping everywhere. That was like the time I dated Amber Hurd. Anyway, I don't know what that joke means. It's okay. It's a good one, though. I can tell you, you know, like personally, a lot of this book, oh, here's the book.

Let me show people the pictures of the dog. And it's really skinny. Look, it's not big, it's not a big book. Like one of my things, Chris, is the fact that meditation has been like monetized. And there's a million books about meditation. However, I can tell you, mine's the only one that uses the F word, kind of all over the place. Yeah. Well, dude, I'm from Philly. Go Birds.

And it is our love language. So it's just part of how we communicate. Do you say that when you're meditating, you get your hands up and you're in your pose and you're like, mm-fuck? Yeah. Sounds a little Touretti, I think. Well, I probably suffer from that too. Well, you know, I don't. But what I'm trying to do.

because it's true for me, is to demystify it. Like, what you just did, that's the picture we have of people who meditate. Like, they're already holy and quiet. And, dude, there's nothing holy and quiet about me at all. I mean, I'm an Italian attorney from Philly, right? So that's like the trifecta of noise and anger and aggression. And there's a lot going on. Or there was for me all my life.

So I finally realized, like, I guess it was kind of my early 40s when the wheels started to really come off. the bus of my life. And I think it does for a lot of people. I think the 30s are such a hard decade, right? We're raising kids. We're trying to get our careers. And I really feel for people in their 30s. I wish somebody had helped me when I was in my 30s because it was a really rough decade, right? I mean, I decided like, okay, is it going to be booze or Buddhism? Which way am I going to go here? Like, how am I going to learn to live and stop making the same mistakes all over the place. By the time I was 42, I was already twice divorced. So there was a lot going on. I was always mock for with my hair on fire. That's who I am. I'm still that way, but it's calm

down. It's manageable. I'm a good dog, right? Dogs have energy too, but if it's uncontained, it's really annoying, right? If they're running all over, if they won't listen, they won't return to you, they won't do what you ask. So if your mind is like that, and most of our minds are, we need a way to train the mind. I don't think we're thrilled in this culture about any measure of discipline around anything, particularly our minds, right? And I know a lot of people have said to me, oh, I tried meditating. I can't. Listen, this is like thousands of years old. It's free. And it has been proven scientifically to help with serious medical conditions, depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, tachycardia, like all the stuff that raises your vital signs and makes you

inflammatory and sick and nervous, meditation can actually address that. But it's so shrouded in all this nonsense that teachers have insisted on. Like, I'm not a fan of the self-help market, even though I guess I'm kind of in it now, right? But it's made everything so complicated. It makes it like, you know, it reminds me when I was a lawyer, you know, Rezipsa, loquiter, you go in there, you speak Latin and you, you know, all this. We make it like, Like, so difficult that people can't even understand it. That's what's happened to meditation. And really, if you want to learn to meditate, how about you just friggin sit?

Like, I just distill it to the very basics. I did a lot of research, like on Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer and Dog Science, like K9 Science, because this is not rocket science, meditation. It's really tracks with K9 science. So how do we use some of the principles like, you know, I? I've probably done a leaving on myself where I'm like, leave it. You know, when I want to stop McDonald's and get a nasty, you know, Frankenmeat burger. Good job. You know, I smack myself with the, with the newspaper and say, leave it.

Where do you even get a newspaper now? Anyway, yeah, so I do that. Yeah, you know what? That actually works. So many people have said to me, like, how do I stop my mind? I can't stop my mind. And that's the problem, right? It's this relentless, endless, endless loop of negative stuff.

And to this day, like, I still do it. I've been meditating for 15 years. Of course, I still have the, you know, the negative thoughts or I get all pissy or resentful. That's the kind of, you know, it's like a dog eating a piece of garbage. And he's going to ruin your rugs later. Like, you know what I mean? Like, when you ingest something that's not good for you, like the burger or the thoughts, it's going to end up being toxic

one way or another. So I actually say just like that, out loud to myself, Phyllis, leave it. Stop it. No, I am not going to think that way. I'm just not. Do you do bad girl? Bad girl. No hitting. There's no hitting involved.

You can train you can train animals and kids with fear and hitting which I think is horrible, right? I use the shot caller because it was good enough for dogs. good enough for kids. Oh, man, you're going to get some flack about that. My guess is. The CPA is knocking on my door right now. Well, you know, it never sticks. You can train kids with fear. You'd be surprised. Yeah, you'd be surprised how we used to they are on teenagers, though.

Oh, I love teenagers. In fact, the whole idea for this, this whole idea for, do you have a teenager? No, if I had one, I'd ship it to you, though. I do love them. They're so, talk about a crazy mind. So in 2018, I was teaching in Seattle. all. Not a place I love. I only lasted two years there. But I was teaching in an alternative school for kids in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction, right? So they're teenagers and they're in recovery. So their minds were all over the place. Oh, that's true. Yeah. They were all over the place. And it was, yeah. You know, I used to try to talk to them about calming down. It's very hard to say to somebody, calm down, right? It just doesn't make any sense. People can't just stop on a dime when their minds are going like that. If you, if you tell on my girlfriend's to calm down when she's up in her emotions that's like uh that's the opposite effect right it definitely has yeah nobody wants to hear that when they're in an agitated state right nobody feels like hearing somebody tell them to calm down and the part the thing you want to do is just not get agitated oh okay like wouldn't that be nice if we never even got so you know you know how you spray the dog

with the spray bottle when it goes something back can i do that to my girlfriend when she's i wouldn't do that Chris, if I were you, as a woman, I'm thinking that, yeah, yeah, please do because that's not terribly evolved, you know. Okay, I'll do it anyway. I'm not even sure I like that for, for dogs. I don't know. I mean, I'm not a professional dog trainer, but if you start, here's the deal. If you start with puppies, it's much easier to train. It's hard to get a dog at the age of six and try to train them, you know, and that's like.

That's what my girlfriend says is my problem. She can't train me. You're probably untrained. I'm an old dog. You're an old dog, new tricks. I don't know. I've only known you 10, 15. minutes, but she's probably right. She said it right before she laughed. Well, you know, with me,

I was so unconscious of my triggers and my fear. I think I acted really bold and brave and tough. I was a lawyer and, you know, I always had my dukes up. Like I was spoiling for a fight all the time. And it wasn't, it wasn't hard to like push a button and boo, you know, I'd be off and running. And I just got to the point where I didn't really want to live like that. It was really driving my kids, not a way, but they, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't cool. It wasn't a great way to try to raise three teenage boys at the Jersey Shore. Wow, that was pretty crazy. Let me tell you. So I just wish I had known better. And that's where the dog training came in. So I was working with these teenage kids that were crazy. And I said to them, hey, you want to learn to meditate?

And Chris, believe it or not, teenagers love to meditate. They don't do it longer often, but they love. I've done this in my classrooms. I've taught for like six years over the years. They love an adult telling them, you know what? We're going to do nothing for a minute, just nothing. And it blows their minds, like to do nothing, because they're always doing something or they're being told to do something in school.

Or they're on their phones. Right, right, right. They know the dings and the bells and the whistles of all the notifications there. Yeah, but the truth is when I would do this in the high school where the kids were on their phones, they would put their phones down. I would ring a little bell, bing, and put all my timer. and we would all just sit still and they loved it. But the kids I had in Seattle, I used to say to them,

imagine your mind as a puppy because that was a good analogy, right? And they just kind of glommed on to that. And I said to this one kid who's like a rough and tumble, badass kind of a dude, you know, his hair hanging in his face. He's all like a grumpy curmudgeon. I was like, Tyler, what do you think the breed of dog is that's in your head right now? And he goes, I'm an effing German shepherd. You know, like that's good information.

That tells me that he's angry and aggressive all the time, right? So for me, I was a chihuahua, you know, little and fierce and annoying as hell, man. Like, it was always, always, I was always just looking for somebody to duke it out with. So I'm happy to say I have morphed into a black lab. So now my mind is chill. So I went from a chihuahua to a black lab. That's a big leap because chihuahuas can be so annoying. And I was.

And I'm funny. That's the only reason people love me. I'm sure. It's because I'm energetic and funny, but I was extremely annoying and probably still am. But inside my head, I had to tame the madness, man. It was just too crazy. So I learned the hard way, like trying to go to the monasteries and the groups. And what I learned was nobody can tell me how to do this. I have to do it myself. But if I could distill it down to the basics for people, like really simple, you don't need all the fancy shit that they tell you you need. You really don't. They're selling water down by the river. You have everything you need

if you can learn to just sit, stay, and leave it. Down by the river, too. Yeah, down by the river, down by the bay. Yep, where the watermelons are. That's where I keep my van. I sleep in. Government cheese. Yeah, yeah. Chris Farley bit down by the river. Yep, yep. Oh, that was a classic. Yeah, I remember that, but. I live in a van down by the river. He was great. He was. Yeah, he was awesome. So what about like, what about some other aspects? I mean, the title of the book is how to sit, stay, and heal. And so is being meditative, you know, being present, taking a pause, getting control, getting frame over your life, kind of the best way to heal?

Definitely. And that's H-E-A-L. So meditation will, it's not like heal, H-E-E-L, but it's just realized that. Yeah, it's H-E-A-L in the book. but if you think about it let's kind of work backwards right dogs when you see dogs healed not many people teach their dogs to heal really you don't see that very often more often you see a crazy big dog pulling somebody around like the dog is walking the human right and that's kind of like your mind if it's untrained it's going to drag you all over the place and if you can sit stay and leave it your mind will heal it will just kind of walk quietly beside you can you can you you imagine your mind as an ally rather than an enemy, you know, as an ally that's just there to be a loyal companion rather than a destructive crazy force that never stops, which is the way most people feel their minds are. So, yeah, the analogy is a really good one in terms of

healing with an A and healing with an E because meditation, the reason, I got a couple reasons why I did not want to do it. I did not want to meditate. My sister was a meditator. She seemed happy. I was like, all right, I can't really drink. I'm a terrible. I mean, I'm such a lightweight, right? Two beers. I'm dancing on a table. And then I have a, I have a headache for three days. Like, I can't. I'm just not a drinker. So I was like, yeah? I got it. Yeah, well, I had to give it up about 50. About age 50, I had to give it up. Good for you. The hangover is just, I know. I don't know how people do that. You drink like one beer and you get a hangover and you're like, this isn't fun anymore. No, it's horrible. Actually, it's really, it's really

uncomfortable, right? So, but that's when I, I thought most people I know, that are all holy, they're really boring and they're no fun. So I don't know if I want to do this, because if it's going to make me quiet and all peaceful and stuff, maybe I won't be fun anymore. Maybe I won't be funny. Believe it or not, that was a concern. I'm still funny. I still have a lot of fun, just saying.

But more importantly, I thought, if I sit still in quiet, I'm going to start thinking about all the bad shit, right? All the stuff. And that is exactly what's supposed to happen. that's exactly what you're supposed to do it's supposed to bring up for you eventually all of the stuff you don't want to look at and i can i can tell you almost with 100% certainty that nobody has died sitting still just in meditation like it's very scary though to sit down and think what's my mind going to do and as soon as you do sit down before you really dig into the aspects of mind training it's like a circus up there man it's a sitcom it's a sitcom it's

It's a tragedy. It's a comedy. There's a lot going on. But a lot of things that hurt you and things even about your childhood and stuff that you thought you had healed and I'm forgiven and it comes back. But the truth is if you don't really face those fears and face those events and let them kind of go through you, let them in, let them out. You don't have to hold on to it. But if you don't do that, they're going to find you and continue to pull you around like a dog that won't heal. You got to name it to tame it. You got to feel it to heal it. So sitting still in meditation will make you very scared because a little bit of your darkness is going to come out. But you just get darkness. It's true. You got to face those demons. And that's how the healing happens with the A.

Yeah. And my other 10 personalities too. Really? Oh, there must be quite. They're part of the darkness. How much is going on up there underneath that hat? It depends. There's a lot.

There's a lot. I bet. My therapist just keeps, he actually does his visits with me on his yacht that he paid for. No, come on. With my money. Well, a lot. Well, I'll tell you what, Chris. He keeps showing me his next shot he's buying.

It's going to be even bigger. I'm going to challenge you a little bit here. To think about the idea of trying to learn, it doesn't need to be a big thing. If you can actually meditate, that means sit, stay, leave it for five minutes in the morning, five minutes at night. You will see changes in your life. Organically, stuff starts to change. You start to learn to regulate. And for me, I was always reactive, like these knee-jerk reactions all the time. And now, I just don't do that anymore. I have learned to control my emotions, not be reactive. My mind is pretty clear. It's a great way to live. It took me so damn long, though.

I really wanted to try to get people there earlier. It is hard. It's simple, but it's not easy. But if you could try it, you should read the book, I'm saying, Chris. Definitely. You know, you could try it. You might save your money on therapy, too. I don't know.

But I don't want to make those kind of promises. Well, they're going to give me a lobotomy, and they say that's probably a solution. That will feel, you know, speaking of lobotomies, two years ago, I woke up with a brain bleed. I woke up with a massive headache, right? and it ended up being a brain bleed. And I was in the ICU, in the neuro ICU for five days. And, you know, they did a couple of angiograms. They couldn't figure out why.

I had this. But after the first angiogram, which is like they go into your brain and they look at it, the neurosurgeon said to me, I don't understand. He said, you have a beautiful brain, which was like the sexiest thing any guy has ever said to me, by the way. Like a beautiful, wow, a beautiful brain. Like you have a beautiful brain, but it's taking a blood leak right now. Yeah, it's not in good shape at the moment. But I said to him, two things, meditation, nutrition.

You want to really protect your brain and take care of your brain, eat the good stuff, and meditate. No McDonald's. No McDonald's. And just a habit, like meditation for me is like brushing my teeth now. I do it in the morning, you know, morning at night. It's not, I look forward to it. Because as soon as I sit down, I sit on a little cushion on the floor like in story time, right, preschool. school. And as soon as I sit down, my body now relaxes. I start breathing. It's pretty quiet up

there, but it took years for the quiet to happen. It just had to stick with it because I would see that my life when I wasn't meditating was chaotic. When I was meditating, it was kind of peaceful. So I didn't know why, but I just kept doing it. And I did it on my own after a while. Like after being in all these rooms, these dark rooms with serious people, you know, that gets kind of competitive sometime when people meditate together. It's like you feel like, am I doing it right? Is he better than me? Is my breathing too loud?

Like, it's just ridiculous. So I don't, I don't really do it in groups. And I don't do guided meditations where somebody's telling me to like breathe into my legs or whatever. I don't do that. I just, you know, stuff like what? But I just listen. It's just me.

Getting to know my own mind. Like how many people really know their own mind, let alone train it? No, they don't. They don't train it. They don't control it. And the world's pretty crazy right now. Imagine if everybody had a relatively well-trained mind and they weren't reactive all the time. Twitter would be out of business. Everything would be out of business because everything is on fire. Yeah, it would. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be so nice? You'd all be, you know, a good dog leg is unconditionally loving. They're funny. They're joyful. They don't have pockets so they don't care about money. They don't hold grudges. They're not resentful. Like, if you could be like that as a human being, to me, that's like, that's success. You know, to me, that's a, that's a beautiful life. Plus, we could potty train them over on Twitter so they're not pissing all over everything.

Oh, it's awful. Oh. Oh, Musk. Excuse me. I'll tell you what, social media is a toilet in and of itself. It really is. To me, podcasting is, I'm not on social media. I don't do it.

And if you're an author trying to, you know, marking your book, like my agent, took this book to 15 publishers and they loved it. They loved it. But almost to an editor, they all said the same thing. Well, you know, she's not Oprah. We don't know who she is and she doesn't have any followers, so we won't take the book. How do you get followers? You get followers by

publishing stuff and building an audience. Well, you know, but I, you know, I don't. Oprah started. She was a nobody once. Yep, but oh, yeah. Once upon a time. You build it and they hopefully come. That's what we do with this. Well, you know, but I like the podcasting venues because It's a conversation.

It's not people just yelling at each other. Yeah, we're not the toilet. We're like the bathtub. I think so. Honestly, Chris, that's the truth. And I mean, you have platforms, right? So you have to, yeah, you have a couple platforms. And that's cool.

But the rest of this stuff, the nonsense, it really is like a septic tank. So I stay away from it. Yeah, we try and keep that off the podcast, too. We don't bring the sewers on to the podcast. The only idiot in the sewers is probably my brain. And I'm just the host. That's why we have guests, so they can bring intelligent content to the show. So as we go out, anything more we need to know about the book?

Any services that you offer or maybe anticipate offering or events in the future? Sometimes, maybe. I mean, I don't know. Feel free to just email me at Phyllis at How to Be a Good Dog.com if they're, you know, if you want to get started in some way or something else. I haven't yet planned any events and workshops because I don't want to just start trying to make money off of this. I would like the book to sell. I would like people to find peace of mind.

That's my goal. Finding peace of mind is a really important thing. Yes, it is. And, you know, I mean, can wives use your book to train their husbands better? No, no, it doesn't work to train any. You can't train anybody else. Chris, if there's one takeaway here, you can't train it, and you are on Drake. This is a self-help book instead of a get other people fucking around and find it out.

That's right. That's right. So, yeah, that's too bad. Sorry, man. Just yourself. I'm going to have to cancel my Christmas gift to my girlfriend. I don't know what that means. So she does look good a dog car.

No, I'm just kidding. She likes it. Never mind. I don't know what that's about. Oh, don't stop. I don't need to know. I don't want to know. It's just jokes, folks.

We're having fun here. All right. So don't write me, folks. Anyway, maybe it's me that where it's a dog car. You don't know. I don't know. And I don't really want to know. No one wants to know that.

What I do know is that your mind has a lot. There's a lot going on up there. And it's got to be hard to be you on some days. That's all up there. It usually is hard to be me. That's why I have multiple personalities. so they can trade off and tag team with each other. Except the judge says I can't use the one that says kill, kill, kill all the time anymore.

I get my six ankle, I get my six ankle bracelet monitor off next week. No, come on. Seriously? Yeah. This is good. These are all callback jokes I do in the show. Oh, okay.

Good. I was just curious. It's all possible. Yeah, can you? I just think it would be funny if you ever saw somebody who had like five ankle monitors. I think I've seen girls that have two. Wow. What on each leg? Really?

I don't know if they, I can't remember if it was stacked or if it was one of each, I think it was stacked. Wow. But, yeah. Well, you know what? A good way to. Double the pleasure. Avoid jail. Avoid sorrow and suffering. Just train your friggin mind.

Yeah. Stay out of jail by being a good dog. That's correct. I love that. Good job. Well, thank you very much, Phyllis. Yeah. Give us your dot com is where can people find you on the interwebs.

Yeah. Just how to be a good dog. or it up folks anywhere you find books are sold how to be a good dog learning to sit stay and heal yourself as in heal you know heal yourself yourself isn't there added to that but uh the heel h e a l uh you know we need to learn to be still we need to be present it really is important and and sometimes the madness can just be overwhelming it is overwhelming it just it can just uh you know some of the thoughts can just make us feel trapped or make us feel uh just paralyzed.

For sure. All right. Well, I'll go back to letting my husky train me, this dog owner. Thanks, my nights for tuning in. Go to Chris.

It was fun. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thanks for audience for tuning in. Go to gooderies. com, Fortress Chris Foss. LinkedIn.com,

for chest Chris Foss. Chris Foss 1 on the TikTok and the all is crazy place. The internet. Be good to each other. Stay safe. We'll see you next time. And that should have us out.

That was a good.