The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – How to Get Along with Anyone: The Playbook for Predicting and Preventing Conflict at Work and at Home by John Eliot, Jim Guinn

Episode Date: February 22, 2025

How to Get Along with Anyone: The Playbook for Predicting and Preventing Conflict at Work and at Home by John Eliot, Jim Guinn Theconflictdocs.com Amazon.com Defuse any heated conflict by learning which of the five conflict styles you are and how to resolve even the most sensitive dispute with this must-read guide. The average American worker spends 156 hours a year engaged in the kind of moderate to intense workplace conflict that adversely impacts both performance and health. Managers spend twenty-six percent of their time addressing and resolving conflicts on their team—the equivalent of chewing up one full workday each week. But what if it didn’t need to be like this? What if there was a way to spend less time in stressfully interpersonal interactions and more time on the things that really matter? Through three decades of building and facilitating team chemistry for Fortune 500 companies, professional sports franchises, schools, government agencies, nonprofit organizations, and families—Drs. Jim Guinn and John Eliot have reduced the time and cost of conflict resolution. With this on-the-ground experience combined with industry-leading science and research, Guinn and Eliot discovered people respond to conflict in one of five ways: avoid, compete, analyze, collaborate, or accommodate. Because our responses are ingrained byproducts of the subcortex in action, they are predictable. If you can predict how someone will behave in a given circumstance, you can formulate a game plan. The secret is knowing which of the five patterns someone is wired to use when smacked by a stressor. How to Get Along with Anyone is a pragmatic hands-on book to help you determine conflict types so you can navigate the arguments that emerge in day-to-day life. You’ll learn the formula for identifying your coworkers’ and loved ones’ conflict styles and how to use this information to foster better communication and more effective, collaboration. Filled with fun, engaging examples and actionable techniques, How to Get Along with Anyone teaches you how to predict and prevent escalated conflict, arming you with practical tools for flipping the script on sticking points to nurture stronger and more meaningful relationships.ABOUT THE AUTHORS DR. JOHN ELIOT, PHD, mentors executives and advises professional sports teams, coaches, and athletes on how to apply individual and organizational psychology principles for enhancing health, performance, workplace culture, and the bottom line. He has consulted for NASA, the US Olympic Committee, the Mayo Clinic, Sony, Microsoft, and other Fortune 500 companies. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, ESPN, Fox Sports, MSNBC, Bloomberg, Harvard Business Review, and more. Eliot has held professorial appointments at the University of Virginia, Stanford, Rice, the SMU Edwin Cox School of Business, and the Texas Medical Center, where he won teaching awards at each. JIM GUINN, EDD, is the president of the Resolution Resource Group, a training and development company that works with Fortune 500 companies, professional sports franchises, large-scale school districts, universities, law firms, and governments on effectively handling conflict. As a mediator, he has conducted over a thousand successful mediations involving family, organizational, civil, and governmental disputes. Clients across HR departments, sales staffs, middle management, and boards, Dr. Guinn personally trains CEOs from all walks of life, plus numerous celebrities and sports icons.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, folks. This is Voss here from the chrisvossshow.com. Ladies and gentlemen, the earliest things that makes it official, welcome to the big show. We certainly appreciate it. As always, for over 16 years, 2300 episodes, we're bringing in the Chris Voss show.

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Our latest entry into the author page. What the hell? Just making stuff up now, really. Is the latest book to come out, February 18th, 2025. How to Get Along with Anyone, the playbook for predicting and preventing conflict at work and at home john elliott and jim gwynn are going to be joining us on the show they're going to be talking to us about their latest insights on how you can avoid conflicts but where's the fun in that i mean isn't it better if we're at each other's throats i don't know maybe we'll find

out they'll be telling us john elliott is is a doctor and PhD who mentors executives and advises professional sports teams, coaches, and athletes on how to apply individual and organizational psychological principles for enhancing health, performance, workplace culture, and the bottom line. He's consulted for NASA, the U.S. Olympic Committee, and the Mayo Clinic, ONI, Microsoft, and other Fortune 500 companies. Jim Gwynn is the president of the Resolution Resource Group, a training and development company that works with Fortune 500 companies, professional sports franchises, large-scale school districts, universities, large firms, and governments on effectively handling conflict. Welcome to the show, gentlemen. How are you both?

We're doing great. You have all these insightful, smart people on the show, and then you have us two, Yahoo. Oh, come on. One of you got a PhD, and I think another one, what's the ED? I'm not familiar with the term there, Jim. It's just so my wife will call me doctor. Ah, okay. He's an amazing nurse, so that was my hope. Oh, really? Wow, okay. with that the term there jim oh it's just so my wife will call me doctor that's yeah ah okay all right he's an amazing nurse so that was my hope oh really wow okay i did some of that when i was

a kid played doctor and nurse anyway so give us dot coms where do you want people to find you on the interwebs and stuff we're at the conflict docs d-o-c-s the conflict docs.com so give us a 30 000 overview of what's inside the book. I'll give you each a shot at it. So whoever, grab it first and run with it. See, we're both a couple mediators. So we're like, no, you go first. No, no, you take it.

You go first. No, you go first. Knock it off. 30,000 foot overview is a whole background was in resolving conflict once it had escalated over a thousand divorces, a bunch of crazy conflict in a lot of places and decided, man, can we get on the front end of that? Can we start to predict and prevent conflict before you have to come see us in mediation or in some of these other settings?

Hey, can we equip people with some practical skills to head that off? And so that way it makes our job easier later. And as you said earlier, if you're leading a life that's free of conflict, you're one boring human being. And help people flip the script and realize that conflict is healthy, is good, and at the end of the day is what you use to build relationships. Now, is that just conflict or is that hand-to-hand combat?

Oh, hand-to-hand combat is even better because then you get the workout component. Yeah, that's true. You get moves and blocking and all kinds of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You make a lot of money. Yeah, I figure that's most marriage arguments blocking and all all kinds of things yeah yeah a lot of money yeah i figured that's most marriage arguments hand-to-hand combat i'm not i'm not i've never been married but that's what i hear but anyway with your spouse you gotta make sure the furniture's out of the way that's true boy that one of you is married evidently that's because i went to a school that was a five to one girl to guy ratio and i proposed right before we got out and so she didn't know any better okay well that's that's the

way to go i guess what what made you guys want to write this book why did you feel it was important man so i know you know for us with all the trainings and stuff that we do you know we go do a training with a sports team or school district or church or business or whatever. And people come up after and be like, hey, so, okay, that's great with my coworker. But I have this cousin, this roommate, this in-law. Will this work with my teenager? Because I don't know. And so just so much of what we do, it was, man, okay, it's business, corporate related. But these skills are sort of all in conflict.

And for most of us, that emotion, it spikes more at home. It spikes more in friendships or relationships. okay it's it's business corporate related but these skills are it's resolving conflict and for most of us that emotion it spikes more at home it sparks more friendships or relationships that was the main focus uh anybody you want to jump in here yeah you know the the practical applications to just the little ups and downs in life are far more important than the you know resolving the big hairy emotional, emotional, crazy conflict. Yeah, that's important, right? You've got to deal with emergencies. But most of us, the type of conflict we deal with

are the little things that irk us from day to day. And having some practical skills you can put in place to either eliminate that stuff or deal with efficiently. There aren't any good resources. And most resources are one-slash- size fits all or they're prescriptive. And at the end of the day, you know, we're all different. We've got funny quirks and peccadilloes and, you know, people are sort of odd creatures and to have some tools to understand our differences, to use them to our benefit.

We thought that, you know, somebody has got to do something on that. Why don't we do it? Yeah. I mean, somebody has got to do something. And, you know, we live in kind of a pretty polarized sort of environment right now especially with politics and you know people have trouble having you know family get-togethers sometimes for Thanksgiving and holidays lately or these last eight years or something and so you know we need we need some help we need some

tools because you know social media doesn't seem to contribute very well to bringing out the best in people like we thought it would. It kind of backfired on us a little bit, I think. I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah, and it encourages people to interact less or interact from a distance and not have that, you know, personal element that really matters in people getting along. And look, you know, you don't have to agree with someone you can have totally you know opposite opinions you can even say yeah i don't really like that person very well but doesn't mean you can't you can't work together or have a meal together or so forth but you know you gotta you gotta be open to to to being with people as

opposed to you know staying in your little echo chamber in your cave in your man cave in your basement yeah what's wrong with staying in your man cave echo chamber in your cave in your man cave in your basement yeah what's wrong with staying in your man cave echo chamber in your basement you say that like it's a bad thing yeah asking for a friend oh we took shots at the cowboys well it's a hard life they've earned it uh they have the same problem my raiders do the owners the owners are the problem. Your friend Chip Kelly is coming to help. Yeah, yeah. We finally got some good... Are you talking about the Cowboys or the Raiders? Raiders.

The Raiders, yeah. I know that we got that one really good coach. Yeah, offensive coordinator Chip Kelly. He won national championships in Oregon, went to the Eagles 49ers. He was the old coordinator at Ohio State. He won national championship. Raiders just plucked him for the OC.

Brilliant guy. Grew up in New Hampshire, of all places, to get an offensive coordinator, but he's going to help. I'm looking forward to seeing what Raiders do this coming year. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up. This is some dream I'm having about the Raiders. We're paying four coaches right now, evidently, at the same time because we've made so many bad coaching deals. because like we're paying for coaches right now evidently at the same time because we made so many bad coaching deals I think

we're still playing I think we're still paying Gruden into whatever so anyway yeah it's the owners that are the problem you know it's a great great contributes to the the pool of paying people you know that or owners we have the most interesting owner. That's a conflict I can't resolve. He wants to be GM. He's GM too or something, right? He's trying to wear all the hats and stuff.

He even cleans the bathroom stalls. Tell us a little bit about each of you guys. How did you get into this field? How did you grow up? What influenced you? How did you develop these traits of getting along with others? Sure. Absolutely.

My background, I'm weird. It was always in conflict resolution. Most people are like, I don't want to deal with it. I'm like, hey, this sounds amazing. Your master's, doctorate, everything was all in mediation, resolving conflict once it escalated. And so it was dealing with people once they're triggered, once they even, I can tell you some crazy stories, but once they're at each other's throats and spending all that time and effort and energy trying to get them to calm down and come to a solution. I don't know if you can see it, but I had a 13-hour mediation where I got shingles one time. Oh, really? And I realized, man, dealing with conflict at that level is brutal.

You can't just start heading off on the front end. So that's what kind of influenced me. Yeah, I grew up with a crazy dad who was a coach of the U.S. ski team, 60s, 70s, and 80s. And so I got to travel the world with a bunch of downhill skiers and ski jumpers and people living on the hairy edge. They would go down some beers and then go 80 miles an hour downhill. And so i had some

interesting role models in terms of this is how you handle challenges in life you know and then my dad i went with the 80 olympics and had the the you know he's friends with herbie brooks and got to sit front row oh wow that team did and so those are sort of my influences on look you know we don't have to live a normal life and there's some interesting paths and we have to be a little bit crazy what we do um but if we do there's some there a normal life, and there are some interesting paths, and we have to be a little bit crazy in what we do. But if we do, there are some fun things out there for every one of us, regardless of our backgrounds. And so it led me down this crazy path of working in sports and dealing with big egos,

but sensitive people off camera, but superstars on camera. And I just sort of, you know, crazy path. It introduced me to this guy, and then got us into writing books. Is this the first book you guys have written together? First tag team, yes. My third one together. There you go. You know, conflict is a big issue.

One thing you guys talk about, and, you know, there's lots of, it seems to be a rise in narcissism, and I hate to use that term much because it's overused. I think pretty much every date I hear from now tells me that they're they dated the last 10 narcissists and only about five percent of people on the earth are clinically diagnosed as narcissists but there's a lot of gaslighting that goes on to right now especially in like politics or people you know I've sometimes you run into semi-narcissistic people social media has kind

of done it to us but you know they'll gaslight you with bullshit they'll argue some sort of thing like you know i mean you have you have people arguing that the earth isn't flat and we all know the earth is triangle it's not round it's not flat it's a triangle right so we all have to learn to agree on something i'm just kidding people don't write me please don't start a cult with that but you know yeah when you have somebody you know who's arguing with the sky isn't blue you know it can be hard to have an argument with those people does your book help that yeah absolutely so one of the kind of touch on both both those points are awesome so the one in terms of what are people really arguing about?

Do they really argue that the sky is blue or do they just want to argue? Are they really upset about this issue? It sounds like my first 10 marriages. Or is it the other 16 issues before they got built up into this? One of the biggest things we focus on is, okay, what is the true trigger of this? Is it a process conflict? Is it over how things are done?

Is control? And as you mentioned, people claim, oh, I did it in narcissistic. This person's narcissistic. Could just be that this person truly is process triggered and they want things done a certain way. They want to be known that they are right versus a task trigger person that they just want things done they don't really care enough to argue about this and so one of the biggest things our book focus on is if you recognize that first there's

practical techniques for dealing with process conflict triggered person versus a task trigger so if we take a step back for a second, figure out what it is we're dealing with, there's some plays that we can play to make it easier. Yeah. We all have different styles and habits and the clashes that come out where someone's going to dig in their heels and claim to you, the sky is red and I can prove it to you. They dig in their heels for a reason and knowing what style they are and what habits and knowing how to get past that um there's some practical tips that we thought you know that'd be really helpful because you know you can you can get caught in that loop of arguing sky color

but it doesn't do anything for you and it's not doing anything for them either yeah so here's how to pivot from that the the book so the book will help guide you through that and figure out the different steps. I like, there's another chapter that you talk about in your book on how to defuse emotion. I imagine emotion is a big player in this negotiation of how to get along with anybody because, you know, a lot of people are emotionally connected to their ideas, especially conspiracy theorists are a good example. They're really emotionally connected to that stuff Which is probably why they're not using logic and reason they're using emotion and what feels good And it's certainly you know

I mean it'd be great if I could blame everything up on little green men running around from from Martian land and lizard people Politicians and we all know they're not green, they're blue, clearly, right? We all agree on that? See what I did there? Anyway, I read the book. I just assumed the sale. But no, it'd be great if I could just blame everything on everyone else. And there seems to be a lot of that that loves to go around right now where people don't

take self-accountability. It's almost a victimhood competition society how do you resolute some of that stuff where you know people are i don't know they're either looking for attention or validation or emotionally attached to something how do you get them detached from emotion do you do you smack them over the head with the book is that what you should do yeah you know it leaves a nice imprint and then the the logo's valuable, and we'll sign it. Rebranding. Resulting to violence is appropriate.

As long as you buy the book. Don't do that, folks. We're just kidding. You know, in these sort of situations, you made a great point, right? Someone is not getting something they need. Their feelings have been hurt. They have some sort of need, some sort of validation, right? Their purpose in life, their meaning, right, their contribution, they're not being hurt. They're some sort of need, some sort of validation, their purpose in life, their meaning,

their contribution. They're not being hurt. They're not getting something. But because the argument and emotion spikes and people take it personally, neither side is understanding what is that fundamental need. And the key is bring that emotion down so you can identify that need, and then you can help them get that. And even if you don't agree with their point of view, you're helping them get something that's being unfamiliar unfulfilled and then they're willing to talk to you is that one of the is that one of the things to look at instead of looking at this person like they have a dumb idea or they have an opposite argument they're trying to fulfill something and how can i help them fulfill what they're trying to fulfill without, you know, agreeing with them that the earth is, you know, shaped like a pizza?

Absolutely. And so much of it is either, you know, does that person just need to vent? They just need to vent. They just need somebody to look at and they need to talk. Or is it that, hey, what they're arguing about is not really what they're pissed off about. You know, it really is about something else. And regardless, we have a couple core techniques that are going to work in either situation. To just immediately lower that emotion so we can start to assess which one of these two things is it.

Do they just need to be heard or are they really upset about something different? Sometimes, I mean, sometimes you have a lot of that in intersexual dynamics of what is the real argument about that we're having and sometimes trying to get to what the core problem is. One of the challenges I had as a CEO was, especially with my salesmen, their head would get polluted with some sort of home issue or some sort of issue, whatever it was they were having. And I had to go in as a psychiatrist and try and figure out what's going on and mucking up their performance and really remove whatever it was from their brain basically um and and so yeah you had to go in and you're like okay what's the real problem that's going on here and people flail about it's kind of interesting and it makes it really hard to have discussions sometimes because sometimes the thing that's really bothering them, they're not comfortable sharing. They haven't spent some time, you know, thinking about, hey, you know, it's okay to share this. Or, you know, frankly, some people just need,

you know, 30 second time out in between work and home and vice versa. Take a pause, get reset, get yourself, you know, focused on the new environment. And because of the pace of life, they don't take that minute to get themselves reset. And they need someone either to give them permission to get reset or help them do that reset. I wish people were better at this sort of stuff, but it's kind of weird. It's maybe the one reason we never learn from our conflicts and what we do. What are some other techniques you'd like to tease out that are in the book to tell people this is where we tap on two two core ones you know the first one you know my wife's so much

smarter than me and knows me so well and so my daughter's that she sees through that completely the second technique i got away with it for i think nine nine ten years and then now she's i'm out of i'm out of tricks so the the first is we call it the voice technique um so psychologically holding a higher tone of voice than someone else if they feel connected is very difficult to do so one of the first things you know we we recommend is if you're in a conflict setting start to slow it down start to make that eye contact and the town where the mediations attorneys call, attorneys call it my Matthew McConaughey voice because it sounds like I'm going to say, all right, all right. You start to bring that voice down and calm and talk.

And now I'm weird and we're both weird. So I love doing this with customer service agents. If they're from New York, I try and get them talking to West Texas. If they're West Texas, get them talking something else. But starting to lower that emotion by lowering that tone of voice, making good eye contact, and asking clarifying questions, it's going to, one, make people feel validated. You're asking them, clarifying something they're saying. When they'll see it, they'll start to match your voice,

which is a lot of fun, fun to try out. You can get people talking in a British accent if you talk about because we have mirror neurons and we're designed to try and work together as groups as a human species and so people will pair it if you're talking slower right if you're more calm people will pair it and then they'll relax and they'll open up yeah I see what you're doing you're kind of leading with a little bit of NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, where you're kind of resetting the tone and resetting the speed.

I can see how that can work really well because you're taking the temperature down verbally and hopefully emotions will go down as well. Yeah, without saying, hey, someone is upset and they're waving their arms and they're talking fast. And you say, hey, you know, just slow down. People take offense to that, right? They'll do the exact opposite. Hey, don't tell me what to do. And so this way you're not commanding and you're not telling them whatever.

You're just slowly guiding them in a way that's comfortable. How do you get people that are doing it for attention and validation constantly to stop doing it and recognize that they're doing certain things for attention and validation. Is there a way to get around that? This is where the detour technique comes in and it's a little bit of fun. The biggest thing with conflicts is there's

always multiple issues, even if most of them are smoke screens. We make up stuff that justifies our position. My daughter is so brilliant. And yeah, I got a doctorate. I do this for a living. She got away with it for six months of telling me, but daddy, I'm scared.

And I'd say, baby, don't be scared. Like daddy's here. And she'd make me do whatever she wanted. I didn't catch it until she was scared of pants. And so we come up with all of these issues and smokescreens and all of these things to justify, but there's always core issues that are most important. So one of the things we recommend is, okay, if somebody's starting to get too hot, if that emotion's starting to spike, a reason's starting to lower, maybe they're doing it for attention seeking, calmly ask them a question about another issue they mentioned. What they'll have to do is they'll have to stop,

think, pivot, and then get ticked off again. And then we, we just detour over to the next question, next question. So it works because we're interrupting them. We're telling them,

we're talking about something they are upset about. So we're validating that, but we're making them pivot and go a different direction. So we can keep doing that until that action is lowered. And each time they pivot, they've got to pause. They've got to think. That slows them down. That brings more rational thinking back in.

And if they're just yelling and screaming for attention and you get them to pivot, eventually they're talking about something that isn't attention-seeking and that's gone. They let it go. Asking questions. I like that because it shows that you're interested in what they're talking you're trying to understand you're seeking to understand you know if you're arguing with them you know you're just trying to off put what they're saying as opposed to listening and you can you can you can kind of start to control the narrative there's several people you talk about in your book the avoiderider, the competitor, the analyzer, the collaborator, and the accommodator.

Do you want to maybe touch on a couple of those? And is that the style of person I need to know who I'm arguing with, I guess? Yeah, essential. And Jimmy can give you some breakdown, but the key is recognize when we get our buttons pushed, when we're stretched, when someone pisses us off, when we're late, when we're out of our comfort zone, we tend to fall into one of five habits. We tend to fall in one of these styles. So we call them conflict styles. We call them go-to styles. Like a pitcher in the ninth inning, when you need an out, you go to a pitch. These are the habits, the behaviors that you have that you go to when you're in a high leverage situation. Once you know, if someone's in a tough situation or they're pissed off,

if you know what style, you know what go-to they're going to go to, you have a huge advantage. Yeah. Wow. Absolutely. And with the disclaimer being that some people are different work, a different home, and we're not saying that most people resonate with a couple of these,

but this is when you're triggered. When that emotion spiked, what's that default style you reach to? To mention one of the biggest things is, sure, know your own style, know what buttons get pushed, kumbaya, to get a better person. But mainly it's, hey, can you assess the other person in a conflict? And know that person's an avoider. These are the techniques I need to play. This is the style I need to match.

And the on the style is, you know, the avoider, that's kind of has a misconception. They don't avoid conflict because they're scared of it. They don't avoid conflict because they don't like confrontation. It's an opportunity cost analysis. They are looking at it as, I'm not going to deal with that until it escalates into a big issue. And then I'm going to deal with it right now. But I'm not going to deal with conflicts until it escalates into a big issue. And then I'm going to do it right now, but I'm not going to deal with

the conflicts unless I have to. Whereas a competitor, if they have an issue, you're going to know about it. If, if I'm upset with Chris or I'm upset with John, I'm going to tell him, we'll tell him what the solution should be and let's go fix this right now. Let's Barney Fife it, nip it in the bud. Barney Fife it. Is that, that's the first time I've heard that term somebody grew up watch Andy Griffith show black and

white TV going that's cool anyway I took a swipe at those Millennials so the anything more we need to know about what you have there in the book uh let's talk about some of the wares that you guys have on your website some of the consulting or coaching maybe you offer absolutely absolutely so i think you know the number one biggest biggest thing and we talk in the book about how to assess someone and how to you know identify their style some of the practical four-step checklists on how to do it. We also do have a scientifically validated assessment tool that you take, log on quick and easy, and it'll tell you what your profile is. But it takes it a step further. It's not just,

okay, I'm a task-driven avoider. It's, hey, here's my best teammate. Here's my worst teammate. And so in corporate settings, we'll come in, we'll assess a whole team and say, yeah, John and Jim are going to have some issues and here's why. I want to step in here. Just fire both of them now. Just fire them both.

Or you know what? Hey, Chris and John would be best friends. And so we strongly recommend that before first dates. You know, it's not awkward. Just send it out

and just say, hey, before we go out, let's see if you're an avoider or a collaborator. But we do have that on the site. We have it to where you can, if you purchase the assessment, you get a free book. Purchase the book, you get a free assessment. So when we're at the bar picking

up chicks, I can be like, hey, let's do this little game on my phone real quick. We can give you a code for discount. Just for you. We're sports guys, and so it really gives you a scouting report. It tells you who the businesses are and breaks it down. And you get a scouting report for all your co-workers you a scouting report you know it tells you it does and uh breaks it down and you get scouting report for all your your co-workers and scouting report for your spouse i think you guys need to sell this to tinder man this sounds like a good idea

you know commission commission yeah yeah yeah you gotta yeah you gotta get some money from the tinder there they got some money over there right here they're just getting sued right now yeah i mean they're built billion-dollar business. They own like, there's one company that owns all the apps. That's crazy. You should do that. Because, I mean, I'm a single guy. You know, I run dating groups.

And so, yeah, any sort of qualification we can get, we need all the help we can get. To weed out. To weed out. It's a minefield, if you will, of craziness. That being said, give us the dot-coms as we go out, guys's a minefield. If you, uh, craziness, the, that being said, give us the.coms as we go out guys, one more time, and then tell us where people can find you on the interwebs and give people

your final pitch out. Yes. It's the conflict docs, the OCS, the conflict docs.com, all kinds of resources and links. And that's sort of the hub for what we're doing. Absolutely.

Got all this stuff on there and books on pretty much every major site's purchase. And you've got some big, crazy thing going on in your life, and your orgy group isn't getting along with each other, then call us. Your orgy group. You know, sometimes everyone finds a way to have conflict nowadays. Everyone seems to want to argue with everybody. I think everyone's just miserable. I think it's half the problem.

But I like how to master the five conflict styles. I'm going to definitely do that. And if not, I just might resort to violence with the book. Don't do that, people. It's not what you should do. Never resort to violence. We need to learn as a society to talk things through. And this is why this book's important. Because, you know, we have too to violence. We need to learn as a society to talk things through. And this is why this book is important.

Because we have too much violence going on. And we have too much just kind of at each other's throat. And we just argue with each other on social media. And it might be better. One of my favorite lines is from Abraham Lincoln. He said, you know, I don't like that gentleman. I guess I should get to know them better and yeah and so understanding each other better or maybe our journeys were on

i know that trauma is a big issue a lot of times when i'm either arguing or debating or analyzing somebody in the dating field as well i'm looking for trauma unresolved trauma and that seems to be some triggers that happen with with some people they they they you know they're in fight or flight mode over the trauma they have that's unresolved sometimes that can be an issue too as well absolutely and that's when i go just go see a fucking therapist leave me alone um thank you very much gentlemen for coming the show We really appreciate it Thank you, and thanks for honest for tuning in order the book where we're fine books are sold how to get along with anyone

Master the five conflict styles the playbook for predicting and preventing conflict at work at all I know a lot of you married people probably need to make sure you buy the book there thanks for tuning in be good to each other stay safe we'll see you next time and that should have us out guys