The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Jesse Fisco of Emerge Coaching, Helping Entrepreneurs Make More Money, More Time, and Experience More Fun!

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

Jesse Fisco of Emerge Coaching, Helping Entrepreneurs Make More Money, More Time, and Experience More Fun! https://theemergecoaching.com/ Jesse Fisco's Emerge coaching program is a life-changing experience that empowers individuals to overcome their limiting beliefs and embrace a life of abundance, free from worry and anxiety. Through a combination of personalized coaching sessions and powerful self-development tools, the program helps individuals to tap into their inner potential and unleash the power of their true purpose lived in its fullness. One of the key benefits of the Emerge coaching program is that it helps individuals to develop a growth mindset. This means that they learn to see challenges and obstacles as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than as insurmountable obstacles. This shift in perspective can have a profound impact on an individual's ability to overcome adversity and achieve their goals. Another major benefit of the program is that it helps individuals to develop a positive and empowering mindset. By focusing on the present moment and cultivating gratitude and positivity, individuals learn to let go of negative thoughts and emotions that hold them back. This allows them to live in the present moment and enjoy life to the fullest. In addition to these benefits, the Emerge coaching program also helps individuals to develop effective communication and leadership skills. By learning to communicate clearly and effectively, individuals can build strong, meaningful relationships and become more effective leaders in their personal and professional lives. Through the Emerge coaching program, individuals also learn to set clear and achievable goals and develop the skills and strategies needed to achieve them. This can have a profound impact on an individual's ability to create the life they desire and achieve their dreams. Overall, Jesse Fisco's Emerge coaching program is a powerful and transformative experience that empowers individuals to overcome their limiting beliefs and embrace a life of abundance and fulfillment. By developing a growth mindset, a positive and empowering mindset, effective communication and leadership skills, and the ability to set and achieve goals, individuals can unlock their full potential and create the life they desire.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times, because you're about to go on a monster education rollercoaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, Moses Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com, thechrisvossshow.com. Welcome to the show, my family and friends. I think I hit that. I think we should do a survey where people judge

my first intro singing. I love it. I hate having to do it after 14 years, but I love when you guys come up to me at shows and you're like, the Chris Voss show! And I'm like, ah, security. Run. Run away. I wear a Kevlar vest whenever I go to shows because of you people. No, I love you guys

as an audience. You guys are the greatest audience in the world. Don't tell anyone I said that. You're the, the Chris Foss show is the family that loves you, but doesn't judge you. We've got to order the shirts for that one of these days. As always, you know, we appreciate the five-star reviews you give us on the old iTunes there. You have to download the iTunes and put on there.

But our further show, your family, friends, and relatives, we're putting out just amazing stuff. 14 years. We'll be going on our 15th year. What after September, I think, or August. And I just feel old and tired,

which is all the more reason to further show your family, friends. Cause I don't know. I could be like Neil Pert. I could kick off from rush. I could kick off anytime now. I'm 55. No,

I'm just kidding. But the show will always go on because it's on Google. Anyway, guys, youtube.com, 4chesschristmas, linkedin.com, 4chesschristmas. Check out the big 130,000 LinkedIn group and the LinkedIn newsletter. That thing is crazy, man. Just grows like a weed. Like every day I go on there and I'm like, who the hell keeps subscribing to this thing? I didn't know there were that many people on LinkedIn. I wish. We're not quite there yet, but we're working on it. And all that good stuff. Today, we have an amazing gentleman on the show, amazing guest, amazing mind.

And as always, we only bring the best. We don't let anybody on this show. I don't know how I got on, but, oh, wait, I run the thing. That's how I got on. But let me ask you this. You ever been going through your life and you reach a moment in your career where you notice that, Hey man, my career is going okay, but I'm really unhappy. I went through this in my life. I grew up poor and I made some money and built a lot of companies, had the big house in the Canyon through all the big parties of 300,

400 people. And I thought my life was great through all the big parties of 300, 400 people. Uh, and I thought my life was great. And it was kind of like that stick song. As long as I'm buying, everyone's happy or whatever. And, uh, but I was really miserable and I built the life of my dreams of multiple properties in different States and multiple companies in different States. And I thought I was happy. Turns out it wasn't.

And it turns out it was, turns out i wasn't and turns out i was a people didn't like me either even though i was paying for all the drinks eh um and so uh sometimes we live in a scarcity mindset and we have a gentleman who's going to be talking about that and uh how his relationships were terrible his family suffered and how he overcame that i think we've all kind of gone to that journey as people, where we think that maybe money or success or careers or getting a wife and kids or a husband and kids or, you know, whatever that thing is, you know, okay, if we square this round thing,

we will have completeness and whatever. And we find that maybe the internals are our problem, which was the internals with me and still with me. As anyone knows, I have problems and my psychiatrist says so. Jesse Fisco joins us on the show today. He is an amazing gentleman. He's created multiple seven-figure companies and runs them and has participated in raising capital, being an angel investor, and he's done multiple real estate transactions. He found himself on the same journey that I just talked about, where he was doing his career, building companies and being unhappy and living a scarcity mindset,

and his family was suffering and he was suffering as well, I'm sure. We'll get into that. And then he did multiple reprograms and meditation, and he's aligned his life through several changes. And now he coaches and helps other people do that as well. Welcome to the show, Jesse. How are you? Hey, thanks so much for having me, Chris. And wow, quite the introduction there. And I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one that's been through some things in business and life. You know, that's the beautiful part about stories, and that's one of the things that I love about the show.

And I hope my audience always gets, cause we, I plug it ad nauseum, but stories are the owner's manual to life. And it's interesting when we open up and we start talking and sharing our stories and sharing our journey, how much we find that a lot of people are kind of on the same boat. Absolutely. And I think that there's a lot of vulnerability that has to be shown there. But as you open up, you start to learn,

you're not alone, right? And that there are resources out there to help you. And sometimes feel like you're floating on an Island, but it's interesting. If you change your perception, you might see that there's thousands of people on that same Island. Yeah.

And, and they can help. They have tools that help. And so we're going to talk about some of your tools today that helped you, that you're using to help other people. Give us your.com so people can find you on the interwebs, please. Yeah. Theemergecoaching.com or you can visit jessiefisco.com as well. There you go. And what do you do over there? Give us a 30,000 over you. Hey, I help entrepreneurs create more time, more money, more fun in their business.

And that is through practical, easy scientific measures that are not like your typical affirmations and stuff. It's very detailed and you get very granular and you find a lot of opportunity and a lot of things about yourself you didn't know were possible. There you go. So let's do a hero's journey with you. Tell us your story. What was your upbringing? How did you get here? I know you're in the real estate business and a lot of other things. How did you get down this road? And tell us about what kind of reached that point with you and your family where you achieved stuff, but you were unhappy. Yeah. I mean, for me, it was my wife and I started a real estate career. And what I found was through our real estate career and what i found was through

our real estate career i was working and i liked to work and i became a workaholic like it was really something i was you know addicted to and it was all based off an idea or something that i believed that i could go back in time and realize at the age of like seven or eight years old my dad would say, in order to make more money, you need to work more hours. And that was something that he would ingrain and instill in his children. And so my dad would work 16 hours. Well, my dad also was heavily into drugs at that time, and that's what led to separation. And so this whole idea for me was like, I don't want to be like my dad. But then for whatever reason, that core program stuck with me. So fast forward a couple of years into the real estate business, I'm working 16, 17 hours.

I'm like, nah, screw the family reunion. We're not going on a vacation. Five years into my life, I realized I haven't been on a vacation. And I jumped into work and be a entrepreneur in my own business. But I was actually an employee in my own business. I was an entrepreneur. I was working. I was an employee.

And so that's what ended up leading up to the point where my wife looked at me and she's like, hey, I don't know you and I don't think you know you. Wow. Kind of that dodgeball, I know you, I know that you know that i know you type of thing right i know i know that uh i know that and uh the no you know me know that so i know that as well yeah it's just you know funny filing on there yeah all this stuff and i just looked at her i was like you're right i don't even know myself i don't and i at that point was sitting there trying to figure out what the next steps were in my life

and you know what was the most important so as i got a little bit more detailed into what i wanted i started looking for people to help me get there and noticed once again i wasn't on the island myself i hired some guru that literally bends the mind and starts to get you to think and did a lot of hypnotic you know visualizing what my life would be like if i could live my life without all the other ideas and thoughts that i thought were holding me back and uh realize that and you built a lot of companies over the time you built you're in the real estate business you're in several businesses in multiple states i think you're in Utah and Tennessee a lot. Yes.

There you go. And then you've done some angel investing as well. You know, it's interesting to me, the mindset, and I saw this as I came up, because I grew up poor. We had welfare food from the Mormon church in my fridge, so I couldn't bring my friends over because they'd be like, ah, your friend, your parents are on welfare. And, uh, they weren't always on welfare. They had, you know, that we had up and down times. We had a child that was born with a cerebral palsy, which costs, you know, a hundred thousand

dollars. So there was some, you know, financial issues that weren't, uh, always ever making. Um, but, uh, you know, it was one of those things. I grew up with a lot of lack, and I wanted stuff. And I was born and raised in Hollywood, so my parents rented apartments there. So I grew up seeing a lavish lifestyle and going, I want that.

But then I grew up poor, and I'm like, how do I get to that part? And so I, like you, live my life where I try to fill in all those blanks. And I think a lot of people, you know, I used to have people come up and say to me, you know, I want to be like you, you know, you, you make enough money where you can do whatever you want and you have this freedom. And I'm like, I don't have freedom. I I'm, I'm running a high wire that's way high up in the sky that I can't fall. I can't quit. I can't, I can't just step off and go someplace else and go, Hey, do you want to pay me

X, Y, Z? Like, yeah, starting what? Um, and, uh, and I filled in all the blanks, man. I had all the toys. I had a house, a giant house in the Canyon full of ping pong table foosball air hockey jacuzzi i used to throw 400 people parties at my house and uh in utah boy the cops were not happy and uh but i was still just miserable and then i found fight club and that movie changed my life and in some of what it talks about you know is we fill in the blanks as men or as people and we go uh if i do this this, get the career, get the wife, get the kids, get the husband, get the kids, all that stuff. I fill in the blanks, get all the details, I'll be fine. And then we wake up, and we're just this person that's devoid of everything. We've ignored the most important part of us.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, one of the things that we find of anyone that comes through um our little mastermind group is that very thing they've got the checklist and they're like on paper i should be happy but internally i feel seriously screwed up right and it's funny because what we do is as men you know we're the provider and entrepreneurial men are built different i don't care like you can convince me differently. You're not going to, because a lot of them come from,

like you said, poor family. And it's a lot of this away from motivation. I want to get away from this crap. Right. And I want something bigger for myself. I want my kids, my wife.

We tell ourselves a story of all the reasons why we're doing what we're doing. But ultimately there's a reflection of, I am a selfish individual. This is not because of anyone else. This is all because this is what I want. And that was a huge turning point for me. It was like, you know what? It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to admit that I'm doing this not for just my wife and kids, but I'm doing it for me personally. And as people come to this group group that's what we start to find is they've lost themselves and then we help them get back to all right i am a selfish individual the things the reasons why i'm doing this is not for anyone else but me and then we help them focus on what they

want in their life what you know what is the 100 things if money wasn't an issue, if time wasn't an issue, what are 100 things you'd like to do with your life? Not only things but experiences. Maybe you get into the material and then you get into the experiences of what you'd like to do. There you go. As you do that, it opens up new avenues.

There you go. I'm still a selfish prick though. I just study stoicism and enlightenment and some of the things that you talk about in your stuff, being in line with yourself. Let's get into that. Do you find a lot of people? I know mine. He is a selfish prick. Yeah.

So there you go. There's a bit of narcissism there. And I, you know, I don't know. If you admit to being a narcissist, are you really a narcissist? I don't know. I'll talk to my psychiatrist later. He's working on lobotomy for me being scheduled um so uh one thing you talk about is uh not being aligned with yourself what does that mean because uh because uh I don't know you're one person you're one side of you is going one way does it my

multiple personalities that are the problem or what is alignment yeah I mean it's one of those things it's one of those things it's like do you want to go to this event yes or no deep down inside you're like no i don't want to go but you're still going right if you hate people no i'm just kidding hey who knows like but for me it was like do i want to participate in this i mean yes or no and inside i'd be like i don't really want to do that but then i'd'd feel guilty, right? Oh, well, if I say no to the shoe wall when we were jumping on the show. Like, I've got these shoes back here and that is because it's aligned with who I am. Right.

But before I wouldn't buy any shoes to express myself. It would just be like very basic. I wouldn't buy Nike or Lululemon or anything like that because I was just trying to fit in. No, that wasn't who I was. There you go. Do you have any Payless shoes on that wall there? No, no Payless shoes. I grew up on Payless shoes and my parents, God bless them.

They were working really hard. But we got outfitted with, the deal was when I grew up, and this is kind of a Gen X thing. The deal was you got one pair of Payless shoes. You got the shoes and you tried to choose something close to the adidas everyone had uh they were big back then and uh and then you got two pairs of jeans and a couple shirts one of her grandma gave you for shirts and socks and that was it for the year you had to make that shit last right and uh so i grew up the same way did you okay there you go hopefully

they came from uh like a savers or they call it the di here in utah yeah uh the desert industries you find the best you could and you'd wear it all year there you go uh and man if you got those things dirty or scuffed you know those uh ten dollar fifteen dollar shoes whatever the hell they were i think there were six back in my day i'm old people uh but if you guys tune into the video on youtube check that out jesse's got this wall this beautiful wall i can see some nikes there i'm at least i at least know what nike logos look like he's got a whole wall behind him of all of his shoes and uh and his wife allows him to have that uh so uh So you talk about being your authentic self. What does that mean?

Because that's where I was really lost in not knowing who I was and focusing on, you know, I'd focused on so many worldly things. I'd left my pot empty of being a human being. And it's still pretty empty. But let's talk about what you find in the world. Yeah. I mean, being your full self, like we hear from Tony Robbins and all these motivational speakers about this imaginary flow state, right? Like, oh, I want to be in flow because that's where all this amazing stuff happens. Well, you can't be in flow state if

you're not being you. That's true. Like what is flow state? I mean, you've got, whether you believe in a higher being or not, you've got these qualities, these gifts. I will call them a God-given gift of you as an individual. But if you're holding back from that, like, how are you supposed to be in a flow state or actually be the person you want to be if you're too busy hiding behind the curtain

based off of everyone else's feelings and emotions and and maybe even a feeling of undeserving i don't deserve to be myself yeah i have an individual came to our coaching and he's like i feel that if i actually was the person i want to be that the world wouldn't be able to contain me and like wouldn't that be cool if you could like how much you can yeah how many more people could you help that feel the exact same way you do but yeah that was literally what you told me and it was a you know a mind-shocking moment of like this whole mastermind that we have it's bigger than just you know helping people it's helping people truly be aligned with what they want to help them get into that flow state, to have these ideas and the creativity and to allow themselves to

realize there are no rules. There's no right from wrong. Granted, there's what the, you know, federal government will tell us is a law, but whether or not you decide to wear a pink shirt or yellow shirt, there's no right from wrong with that. But for whatever reason, some people box themselves in that. They do and and i think a lot of people too get stuck in the serve serve role uh correct me if i'm wrong because i've never had a wife and kids but what i see from a lot of uh like we mentioned before with a lot of males and and fathers is is they're they're in that provider protector role and so they're usually busy trying to make money go out there in the world and do stuff.

I see women the same way nowadays. Um, I see a lot of mothers that get stuck, uh, being, um, you know, they don't take care of themselves.

They're there and, and, and God bless mothers. Um, but they don't take care of themselves. You know, mothers sometimes will eat last or they'll eat as, as a cooking food for everyone else.

You know, my mother was the same way. Uh, she was doing everything for her children. She's still that way. Uh, and, and, and, and we get stuck in that mode and then we don't fill our own tanks and then we end up burnout. We end up frustrated. We end up being angry. Uh, you know, then no one really likes us because we're being horrible people, uh, which I

still am. Uh, but, uh, it seems to be the callback joke for the show, how bad of a horrible person Chris is. But, uh, you know, that the journey to getting to that is something you help people do. You have a community over there as well. How do people onboard with you? How can they reach out to you? How can they get to know you better and get involved with what you're doing? Yeah, I've got social media. Jesse Fisco, you can literally Google search me with all the businesses that will trace you back to me some way, shape, or form. But Instagram is where I've been helping kind of create more of a following that way at TikTok. But honestly, just shooting me a personal message too.

I'm happy to take a text message and talk to people as well. There you go. And it's that sense of connection. I've had people text me at three in the morning and I can't guarantee I'm awake, but at times I am. Hey, I'll respond and engage in conversation they do that sometimes with my only fans channel no i'm just kidding people i don't have an only that's an only fans joke only fans jokes they always pay off uh what are the things are you finding that people are struggling with you we talked about the flow state we've talked

about getting aligned and being your authentic self um you talk about what if versus what if. I want to make sure I read that right. What does that mean? Yeah. So we always have the people that go towards a negative. What if I do this? And what if this happens, this happens? And we can always list off the negatives, right? We were conditioned from children as a culture as a society to look at the negative what could happen and there's so many people that have this idea of like man what if i could actually do this but then it's greeted by the negative and so what we do through our coaching is we have a lot of people that come in they're like okay i'm going to do this and then as they start to go negative we're like well what if the opposite happens right and you start to paint a different picture starting to paint it into a more positive

you know what if i join the chris boss show and what if there's someone that's listening to this show that goes this is exactly what i need and they sign up for my coaching program right as opposed to what if i get on the chris boss show and I make a total idiot out of myself talking? That's my job. That's my job. That's the type of questioning. But we are conditioned as human beings to look at the negative. Everything from the news to what you're seeing online, the things that resonate with us.

I mean, there's a reason why murder podcasts are so high, right? It's because we like that negative, but we need to condition ourselves to the higher and to the elevated state of thinking bigger for ourselves because we have that capability. There you go. where he talked about how one person can go into a party and they can see all the negative stuff and they can see all the people not having a good time and people that are bored or maybe unhappy at the thing. And they're like, oh, that was a horrible party. And then another person go to the same party and they can see, you know, everyone having fun and they focus on the fun aspects of the party. And so they come away with two different experiences. And so would you say that sometimes

having a perspective where you're either looking for the good or the bad or your potential as opposed to, well, I don't really want to succeed or have a big business because there's a lot of problems that come with it and you're making excuses for why you don't want to go for it. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And and i mean i had lunch with a gentleman the other day and he's like well what if all this negative stuff happens and i'm like what if you could actually just work and like you could work two hours a day and then you could go to disneyland or you could your family or do these things what if you could do that and he's like well i've never thought of it that way and i'm like it's because you're conditioned to think

of negative like even in the words like a lot of people say if i pay you a compliment and you're like start to play this false humility of like oh you know what i'm actually you know that's nice but your your shirt looks better than mine like it's just false humility and that's what we're tailored to do is to put ourselves down and over time the more we put ourselves down do you believe that the unconscious mind or anything internally believes that we're worth or amount to anything? Not likely because we keep telling ourselves we're not. Why do you think people do that? Is it because maybe socially it's unacceptable to talk about money and success a little bit?

I mean, you kind of bro culture if you're on Facebook or certain places. But for the most part, people kind of frown on it. You know, trying to walking around pounding your chest is kind of frowned on in society where it's like, hey, man, don't don't run around telling people you're bigger than they are because you'll probably upset their apple car. And I'll be like, oh, my God, I'm not as good. You know, whatever. Why do you think that is? I'm just throwing a few examples out of you know i i don't have the answer but from my perception damn it jesse answer from my perception i believe it's because we don't

see the value in ourselves right as culture so when someone's up there that does see the value it's either magnetizing and we're like i want to be like that person or very much a turn off because we're like well this person thinks that he's or very much a turnoff because we're like well this person thinks that he's egotistical or she like they're full of themselves when really like we're just negatively cultured to look at that and say well this guy's got to be a complete douche of an individual when realistically that same guy that we perceive as a douche is actually you know buying a home for someone or doing amazing things but because they're a little bit more confident in themselves it becomes a self-reflection of am i

confident in me it's not it has nothing to do with the other person there you go and and sometimes uh i don't know i mean people have a i think you nailed it on the head. There's an empty vessel where maybe deep down, we don't feel that we're worthy of, of love, uh, of success of money. There's so many different powerful tools that come from being successful financially. I mean, you can give to other people, you can provide jobs to people, uh, you can improve people's lives. I know I've done a lot of charity in my time, and you can't do that if you're just trying to get by. And so there's a lot of good you can do in the world. I mean, there's a lot of good you can do if you're not financially successful. You can go volunteer and help with things and being a good human being, that kind of helps. But there's

so much more you can do. And, and you and I had to go through those same sort of journeys of self going from being poor to suddenly identity of being successful. And some people go through imposter syndrome. I probably went through it when I was coming up. Um, that,

or I was just, I seemed to just always be fighting everybody who was trying to get in my way back in the brick and mortar days. Uh, it seemed like there was always somebody who was like trying to hold me back regulators, you know, different licensing and stuff. Uh, you know, there was always some battle you had to have. And then of course, you know, once you become successful, you're either suing people or they're suing you and you're having all sorts of court battles over stuff it's like when you get rich like court is just like the new war of of what used to be medieval but you know you you i think that's what the problem i had was the same you had once it became successful i was like who is this person man who is this vessel that i'm wandering around

with and why is he so miserable and unhappy and why are pretty much everybody around me so miserable and happy even though i'm buying all the drinks yeah it's crazy i i remind you the story so we uh my wife and i am like you know what i need something for me i just need something for me so i went out and i bought a mclaren for those that are familiar with ah there you go went out and bought the car but then the minute i bought that car is like it can't just be for me it has to be for everyone else right and so i started this idea of let's share this car with everyone of our clients right as a client appreciation well this car got destroyed oh really were you renting it out to people or letting them drive it and so oh you know it goes too fast and crashes and i have to pay for a new front

bumper and you know someone else jumps in they break the handle on the door that's and mclarens are not cheap they're prone to break like you know and those were things that i found that i was just frustrated the car what i thought was for me had become more of an issue and it would sit in the shop more than I was able to drive it. And that was one of the things that I had to go back and reflect is why did I buy this car? Well, I couldn't share. I couldn't drive this car and feel good and feel successful because I felt guilty. There was this.

And so there was that imposter syndrome of like, I can't, I can't show it. I've got to provide it to other people. And I found that with myself too, is I had, I would throw massive, massive client appreciation events. We're talking $10,000 events for, you know, 200 people and we're just spending a ton of money. And then one day I woke up and all that money's just gone. Yeah.

And it's like, it's because I felt guilty of having that. And it was that internal, like you can't be successful or you're going to piss someone off. And what it came down to is looking in the mirror and saying, well, no, you can be successful and you can still be a good person, but you don't have to give everything away. You know, you made me realize something I had an epiphany on that, you know, every now and this is where I learned stuff that I have people on the show. I learned probably more than my audience. But I talked about the big parties I used to throw. And when we had big companies, we had acting and modeling agency with about 400 people in it. We had thousands of employees over the years.

So half the town of Salt Lake knew me at one point and in the early 2000s and late 90s, early 2000s. And so I would throw huge parties at my house about every three months. And like it would be 200 to 400 people until the cops finally said enough of that. And the parties just kept getting bigger and bigger and I'd throw them constantly. And then after the cops shut it down, I'd have, uh, we'd have private, uh, parties of small, uh, after parties, after club stuff. And I go to clubs all the time, but a lot of times I was, I was throwing these parties seeking approval for, from people. And I've kind of had an epiphany that that's what I was doing. I was trying to buy all my friends. I was trying to fill this void.

Um, you know, I was single, having a good time. Uh, but I was, I was trying to get everyone to love me and like me and the parties would be over and I'd just be like, you know, the next morning after everyone's gone, I'd just be like, well, okay, well I'm alone again. And then after a few months of being like, let's throw another party. But, uh, you know, I throw these huge parties and then after a few months, I'd be like, let's throw another party. But, you know, I'd throw these huge parties and we'd spend tons of money, Dom Perignon and just craziness.

And then every now and then the cops going, there are people parked half a mile down your house from your house that are going to your party. At one point, they shut down like two lanes. I used to, my house is in Old Mill if you know mill there the reservoir and uh so they would shut down the cops would shut down like both ends of the street there and uh start diverting traffic away um and and but i was i was trying to fill a void and i would go shopping and buy shit. And I, I would just,

I just feel like there was this empty void that I just never could fill. And now I realize that's probably what I was doing that whole time. And until I got good with myself and started going, you know, who is this being that I've been dealing with for all these years and what the fuck is he about? And why don't we just calm the fuck down and quit trying to, you know,

I, the fight club was a real big thing for me. Cause it was like, we buy things to impress people. I don't give a shit anymore. You know, no one gave a crap about my big house. Don't give a crap about my two parties.

Don't give a crap. My BMWs and all that stuff. In the end, they didn't care. And I'm like, well, so why am I doing this? And that journey,

you know, led me to where I'm at to now, an empty vessel at 55. It's definitely a process and learning the intention behind it. But I mean, I could go deep and say that most of the stuff that's happened from us is what we experienced from the ages of five to nine years old.

And it's just a hybrid, right? It's just like it's continued to evolve over time as we've experienced life differently from it's the same filter it's like a program on a computer you know imagine running a windows 98 with nowadays we're like way far in advance right or if you're cruising around with the original iphone versus now the 14 night and day difference but a lot of us have that same program in our minds from the ages of five to nine years old and it's because we've never really gone in turn internally to reset or upload a new one there you go and sometimes we're haunted by childhood trauma there's a lot of

people have that and uh you know the sad part about life is uh more people should get psychiatry at a younger age like i i have people what would you go back and tell your 16 year old self go see a fucking psychiatrist man uh and they're like always surprised by like what and i'm like yeah yeah i i should have you i want to kind of if i could go back and sit down and and talk about stoicism, hand myself meditations by Marcus Aurelius and, you know, Seneca and Petitis and different things. A good psychologist to go, hey, man, you grew up with a kind of messed up childhood.

You grew up with lack and you want to go to here. Here's what you need to change your mindset. But sadly, you know, a lot of change your mindset but sadly you know a lot of people don't wait they wait until they're at a crisis point right and that's probably where people reach out to you you know they're at that crisis point they're at that dichotomy or wherever where they're like i'm living one life and and and i'm someplace else yeah absolutely a lot of them reach out at that crisis moment which is too too late already. You know, like you're at the point where like, I, I can't do this anymore. I'm either going to quit my job. I'm going to, you know, my empire I built, I'm going to walk away from, or they're talking about walking away from this earth in general. Like, and it's easy to say, you know, for me, like I was never at that point in my life. Right. But then the reality hit that I was, and I had been in that for years. So like you mentioned, a psychiatrist, I'm not a psychiatrist, but I can definitely coach and help from different standpoints.

And our models go into business as well. We had an epiphany the other day. It's like every time we send a text message to our team, it takes two or three people out of their quote unquote flow state. And so we've got to update this and make a tweak and make those changes. But those are things in business where if we're going to sell our business to an exit of $250 million, which is what we're hoping to do with our real estate company we've got to document everything yeah so then we go into the you know the what do we need to do differently to help everyone feel you know resourceful and then also what do we need to do document and so it becomes it's like business and mind my like creation that allows people once again to have more time more money more fun yeah i and you help entrepreneurs specifically i mean entrepreneurs entrepreneurs, we're kind of in that same

mindset like I talked to before. The provider, mail, the mom who takes care of everything, we're so busy trying to run everything 24-7. I did the same thing you did where I really burned out. I wasn't taking vacation for years. I started taking weekend vacations just whenever I wanted and getting away for weekends. And so I started filling in the blanks. But I really didn't take care of myself because, yeah, that fear that, you know, if I leave my business, you know, if I don't delegate, you know, stuff won't get done right, a crash,

you know. Yeah. And you're so used to that kind of hamster wheel mindset where you're like, I just need to do a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more. And then all, and you're just fried at both ends of the stick. And, you know, I said, I reached a point where I would, I would be like, can I have a dream that isn't about the business I'm doing the next day? Like I would have dreams about, about what I was going to do the next day, who I was going to fire, what meetings I was going to have. It was insane. And every now and then I have a meeting about, I don't know, Brown Eyed Girl or, I don't know, Beach. And I'd be like, holy crap, that was

really nice. But I mean, it was so invasive. It was taking over my dreams. It was taking over everything. Eat, breathe, sleep, business. I wasn't taking any fun time out for myself. Yeah, that's something. I mean, I had the epiphany a couple months ago. If I wanted to take a three-month sabbatical for my business, what do I need to change? And one of the things was, it needs to start now. So that day, I said, okay, I'm shutting it all off. My phone goes off.

My team operates. And we did that. The feedback was phenomenal. They're like, I actually feel like you're not micromanaging and i was a bottleneck in my own business yeah and so after taking that feedback i'm like great i trust you guys you know a transaction that was going to make thirteen thousand dollars that was kind of rocky, they figured it out. And so it's still closed. So the next week I said, hey, let's all jump in the car on a Sunday afternoon. We drove, we're nine hours away from California. I took my family to Disneyland for a week.

I didn't answer my phone once. There you go. Right? There you go. I wanted to be an entrepreneur. Like I wanted to jump in and go somewhere and have the money and have the freedom. And that's what I realized I needed to start working towards. Right.

And so I got to go live that dream as opposed to just dreaming about it. There you go. You know, you should check out this book. We had an author on recently, Wayne M. Zell, who's a big CPA and attorney,

and it was called the, your multimillion dollar exit. And he talks about how to plan for turning uh turning over businesses selling them just to plug there if you if you want to check it out but uh you know you're you're right everything's got to be prepared you've got to have a team in place that can they can take over uh you know that people are going to look for in the exit and stuff and a lot of entrepreneurs don't build for an exit i mean i never really thought about that until somebody came on show when I was somewhere in my fifties and I was like, what? I was built for empire and which is a great way to burn yourself the hell out, especially doing something you don't love. Most of my companies,

I never really loved. I loved them as my children, but I didn't love some of the industries I was in because I was more of an investor and I love being CEO of anything. I'll work for free, but CEO on my card and I can innovate and create. I mean, I love that part of it, but, uh, really my podcast is about the only thing I've ever fallen in love with.

And I love talking to people. I love learning from people of going on a journey, you know, and I do that in my private life. I ask people, so what's going on with you? Who are you? And where are you going?

I'm sick of myself. I don't want to hear any more about me. Other than good jokes, I can set up using me as a punchline, which is what this callback joke has been on this show. What else have we touched on? What other things are you helping people with or finding that entrepreneurs are really struggling with? It's a great question.

There are so many. And I think the last thing I would hit is rewarding yourself for your accomplishments. That's the one thing that you could start doing right now that would start to change your perception and your reality. I mean, mention the shoe wall, right? There you go. Every time I close a real estate transaction or I get a new client, anytime I generate and make money, I'm buying a freaking pair of shoes. There you go. Note to self, get a shoe wall. There you go. Get a shoe wall. But the thing is, it's become this ongoing. I didn't know why. I just said, I'm going to start doing

this and rewarding myself. Well, first time I bought a pair of shoes for myself, the next month, I had a massive growth in my business. Wow. And it was because it was like, I gave myself permission to accept the fact that I'm doing something that a lot of people won't do. And it doesn't even matter what they're thinking. I'm doing something I didn't think was capable for myself, which was taking care of me. So then it started to go up and up and up. And then there was one month I said, I'm going to change. I'm going to buy sunglasses.

And it wasn't motivating enough. My business the next month, absolute garbage, no excuse, no reason why. But it was like, I found something that really motivated me. It's like a dolphin in a pool. Every time the dolphin does a trick, he gets a fish, you know, and the dolphin will learn more tricks over and over and over again every time you give him a fish and before you know it you have an entire show and that's what i've lived my my whole reward system off of is every time i do this i get a pair of shoes and there are months where i have you know a shoe a day coming to my house and it's gotten to the point like we joke about the shoe wall it's getting to the point where I've got to find that next motivator because I'm going to get out of my house in my own shoes. Right. So I see an empty wall behind you.

So the next one. But this is, you know, things like that. Start rewarding yourself. I had an entrepreneur come through and he was like, I got to buy a $200 microscope. I need to buy this for myself. And he told me a story. He said, I walked in and I walked back out of the store. I couldn't do it.

And he's like, and I told myself, how stupid is this? It's a $200 item. So then he walked back in again. And then he walks out and he's like, I just felt like I didn't deserve it. And then he walked in and bought it. And he's like, oh my gosh. And now he's consistently rewarding himself. And his business has grown.

His happiness has grown. And he's like, I see like just from that small little action right there and piece of encouragement. He's like, I see the whole value of this group. And it's unlocked a lot for him. And that's all it takes is to just start recognizing yourself for your accomplishments. Yeah. For your life. Taking space for yourself

rewarding yourself uh you know that was the thing you know i was buying all this stuff to impress people and uh like i said it's a famous fight club line you know uh we buy things to impress people who don't give a shit and you know i'd have people that say you know and all this why do you need to do all that and just be like oh i did it to impress people and and then i started going i want to impress myself uh and what do i really like and i don't need to run around trying to get people's approval and uh and focus on and what i always counsel entrepreneurs uh to is find something you love doing it makes all the difference in waking up every morning. It makes all the difference in what you do if you have a passion for it. And I think what

you've done is you've kind of found some different ways to reward yourself that reward your passion, the passion that you have. And by doing so, that puts you in that flow state where, you know, if you just connected to yourself really yeah absolutely i feel more connected i'm driving the vehicle i want to drive without any worry about what other people think and then you know someone says oh my gosh i like your shoes instead of like downplaying it's like thank you yeah thank you just move on yeah there you go you take the worry and the stress out of your life and create a life that you want to live and it really doesn't matter if someone else thinks that your life is wrong or not because

there is no right or wrong yeah it's what's right for you there you go it's like a fight club again you know people don't give a shit like i there are people that i still know who walk around life and they really think people are like like like half the neighborhood sitting around going, what is Bob doing today? Oh, my God, we should, you know, like they're spending all their goddamn time focused on you. And, and they really don't give a shit. Like, they're just like, I don't know, there's a Bob in the neighborhood. And, you know, we live that life of, you know, keep up with the Joneses, fear of missing out. We've got to fit in and do what everybody else does.

And sometimes it's like, hey, man, just make yourself happy. Find your journey. Find your purpose in life. I think that's a big thing for people. They don't really find their purpose. They think that, okay, if I adopt these social constructs of, okay, I get a wife and kids. Am I happy now? Then I'll be happy.

If I get a business, I'll be happy. If I get the career, I'll be happy. If I get the next job promotion, I'll be happy. If I get more money this year, I'll be happy. We're always putting off that happiness when really we just need to maybe be happy and reward ourselves now, pat ourselves on the back. Yeah, or know exactly what makes us happy and then go do that. Yeah.

That helps too. If we don't have a map of what makes us happy, it's going off of someone else's map. Well, no wonder we're miserable. Exactly. And that's a lot of people do. I,

that's why people have midlife crisis. I remember growing up when I was young and I was like, there's this midlife crisis thing that guys go through. How do I keep from having that? Like, I don't want to live my life where I wake up at 40 or 45 and, you know, suddenly I'm buying red sports cars. Like I just didn't buy the red sports car now and live that life. And so I wanted to live a life where I wouldn't go through a midlife crisis, burnout. I've gone through a lot of epiphany moments and a lot of learning over the years.

You know, the interesting thing about being 50 is you, I'm 55 now, but around 50, you wake up and you kind of look back and you go, Jesus, that's a mess I left behind. Okay. I think I see that some psychological problems I have. So it's best not to wait until then you know when you're on the downside of a marriage or you're getting divorced because you're you've been unhappy and a miserable person to be around um and everything else and trying to preventative care if you will now yeah absolutely i mean i mentioned earlier in the show my wife

said i don't know who you are and i don't think you know who you are. And fast forward a couple of years and she's like, man, you are a different you. And I like that a lot. There you go. Right. And it's one of those things that, you know, you revive your relationship because you start focusing internally. You clean out your inner vessel first, right? Like here in Utah is a very spiritual state. And that's something that they pump in the Bible a lot is clean out your inner vessel.

Well, you got to go internally first and then everyone will start to love the wine you pour. There you go. That's a great saying. You know, it's, it's, what's inside of us is, and filling that tank is so important because if we have that right, then everything else seems to fall into place. But if we're just building a structure on sand, uh, and we're not taking care of the foundation of who we are, you know, uh, we're just, we're just building stuff that can get knocked over very easily. And I've gone through some cathartic times in my life where I think we all have, where, um, you know, I found that sometimes i built the wrong way and it's time to

go back and go hey we need to redesign that so and it's a great way for people to reach that moment of thought and reach out to you uh so tell us again how people can do business with you and reach out to you and get involved in your programs yeah you can learn more about me at jessefisco.com or you can visit theemergecoaching.com and that will get you connected with me uh you know we can have an exchange via voxer as well you can add me at jfisco371 on voxer just send me a message and uh we'll engage that way as well it's uh really easy to get in contact with me there you go thanks for coming on the show jesse we really appreciate it yeah thank you chris for having me it's been a phenomenal time there you go lots of learning and stuff that

people can do whether entrepreneurs or human beings or just working in careers you know uh there's something better than being happy in life and doing what you love and loving what you do and maybe you just don't love what you do because you're unhappy on the inside. And sometimes, you know, you awaken and you go, wow, I actually can find ways to love what I do and enjoy this process like we talked about at the party. So thanks to my audience for tuning in. Go to goodreads.com, 4chesschristmas, youtube.com, 4chesschristmas,

linkedin.com, 4chesschristmas, all those crazy places we're on the internet. Thanks to my audience for tuning in. Be good to each other. Stay safe. And we'll see you guys next time.