The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Jonathan Niziol, Model, Real Estate Investor, Trainer, Athlete

Episode Date: September 10, 2023

Jonathan Niziol, Model, Real Estate Investor, Trainer, Athlete Instagram.com/jonathanniziol Starting out on a chill Canadian farm, things took a gut-wrenching twist when Jonathan's mom passed away on the day before his 21st birthday. His dream of becoming a lacrosse star got side-swiped by years of battling booze, hitting rock bottom at just 25. But that crazy wakeup call lit a fire, inspiring him to rebuild his body and mind while grappling with the loss of his mom. In a nod to his mom's legacy, he took a detour into modeling – a world that threw him face-to-face with his inner demons. Jonathan's quest for perfection led to body issues and a tough bout with food and an 8 year long eating disorder. On top of that, he faced a hellish sexual assault, lost close friends, and struggled hard with depression and anxiety. As a way to cope, he veered into multiple drug addictions. But in 2017, he made a gutsy move and dove into therapy, finally kicking the addiction that had him in a headlock for 15 long years. He is now 16.5 years sober from alcohol and 6.5 years sober from everything else. Living a balanced and happy life, which is why he is ready to share the story of his deepest secrets and shames with others. In hopes that he can help.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times, because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, folks. It's Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com, thechrisvossshow.com.

Welcome to the major show, folks. Welcome. 15 years, two to three shows a weekday, 15 shows a week. What the hell more do you want from us people? This is the big show, the Circus Tent in the Sky. As always, the Chris Voss Show is the family that loves you but doesn't judge you, at least not as harshly as your wife did when you didn't wash those dishes before you put them in the dishwasher.

But maybe she'll get over it. Maybe she won't. It's your problem. Anyway, guys, just remember, the show is always here for you, even if your wife isn't when she packs up and leaves, which is probably like now. So you can at least enjoy the show while she does that. So go to goodreads.com, 4chesschrisvoss, linkedin.com, 4chesschrisvoss, youtube.com, 4chesschrisvoss, and chrisvoss1

on TikTok. People are going, oh, he's leaving me? What? What? How does Chris know? I know. She's been texting me. So anyway, guys, we have an amazing gentleman on the show.

Actually, he's a male model. So your wife might have been texting him. So there you go. But we decided that since I am one of the principal male models of the Chris Voss show, and I just have this exuding sexual presence that conveys George Clooney or Brad Pitt. Sometimes they call me for tips. They don't. We decided to invite a wonderful gentleman onto the show.

And he is a model for real actually like he really has the job eh and uh where i just made it up and uh he's a real estate investor he's a trainer and an athlete and he has an amazing uh life story and journey that he's going through and he's sharing it to try and help with other people. Jonathan joins us on the show today, and we'll be talking to him about his accomplishments. Jonathan Neisel. Do I got that right, Jonathan? You got it.

Yep. There we go. And he'll be talking to us about his journey. He embodies the strength of unwavering commitment, resilience, and optimism. After his mother's sudden passing when he was 21, he found his life shattered by a prolonged battle with addiction and severe health issues.

And as a model and professional lacrosse player, his life was perfect on the surface, but the mental health and addiction issues that held him up into their grip made it difficult for him to move forward in life. Now he's 41, and he still looks like a male model. He's doing pretty good. Almost as good looking as me, but, you know,

I think I work for Denny's is where you can find my male model portfolio. I was going to sign the checks, man. There you go. Denny's and McDonald's. A little IHOP there for the pancake crowd. He believes it's the opportune moment to start sharing his extraordinary life journey with an open-hearted approach to his challenges, and he aspires to equip others with the resilience and tools required to conquer their inner battles. Welcome to the show, Jonathan.

How are you? I'm doing great. Thank you. And thanks for all the tips you gave me on off air. I've been doing this for 14 years, but you showed me, you told me some stuff that I haven't heard in my 14 year career modeling. So I'll definitely put that in my repertoire. So appreciate that as a fellow co-worker. Yeah, I have that magenta steel look. Yeah, yeah. Well, don't let me know. I let me save some of it for them. I mean, that was,

you know, let me help. I'll put that. Yeah. I'm doing great, though. Thank you. Thanks for having me.

I really appreciate you taking the time and having me on here. Thank you for coming. And for those ladies out there, you can go to a Sutherland Models.com website

and download his portfolio. So there you go. Yeah. So, Jonathan, give us a. com where can people find you on the interwebs where's the social sites we can go to uh best place to find me so i'm getting started on the on tiktok and stuff i'm kind of late to the game on that but um my

instagram is definitely best place to find me um it's jonathan nizel n-i-Z-I-O-L, just my name. I'm going to be starting YouTube. I have a Facebook page as well and TikTok, like I said. So I've got most of the socials covered. There you go. So people can find you, find your work, things you're talking about, things you're trying to help people with. So give us a 30,000 overview of what you're doing right now and what you do between dodging panties and bras being thrown at you consistently.

Yeah. If only. So I'm originally from Canada. I come to you from, from Texas right now. I'm in Fort Worth, Texas. I've been here about four years.

I moved down because I love Canada, but I don't love the Canadian winters. I'm a dual citizen so I was able to I had the ability to live and work in either and I was just kind of sitting there one day and you know gray dreary February minus 30 and neither my dog

or I wanted to go out and I looked at my US passport and I was like I'm taking this thing and I'm going south. And you went to Texas where it's hotter than hell and the humidity is hotter than yeah it is but you know what I'll take it I complained all winter uh in Canada so I'll take it but uh like you said I'm modeling and I'm doing real estate uh investments doing flip projects with a business partner of mine she's a broker and an agent and she handles uh side of it. And then I

handled the general contracting side of it. And I've cut back on my training a little bit. I've been a certified personal trainer for about 13 years, but I'm being very selective with who I'm working with now. Um, just because I'm putting a lot of time and effort into, uh, what you said and, uh, just, just getting my story out there and, and really putting a lot of time and effort into uh what you said and uh just just getting my story out there and really putting a lot of time into that and uh but fitness is definitely a huge passion of mine and in my free time i uh i love to play hockey i mean go figure canadian oh god who would have thought that eh um yeah the boot had a game had a game out and about boys out and about um had a game last night i've got a game friday saturday sunday is actually a pretty good hockey scene down here in texas

so i'm uh i played yeah surprisingly like i was that was one of the things i looked into before i moved down but i play four days a week four different teams uh wednesday friday saturday Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and all over the DFW. And yeah, it keeps me in shape. And it helps, you know, besides just going to the gym and doing cardio and plus the camaraderie of, you know, being an athlete all my life and then still having that with some friends and meeting some great people. So yeah, and other than that, pretty low key. I like to spend a lot of time with my dog and, you dog and do a lot of reading and all that kind of cliche stuff. But I'm just a pretty chill guy.

There you go. Well, I probably should ask the most obvious question. Are you single for the ladies out there that are now down there? Yeah, I am. I am. I am. As my notifications. What are all these direct messages coming in?

Jeez, that was fast. Chris, buddy. So you don't write the show? Oh, did you get those DMs I sent you? Yeah, right. Wait till you see the Snapchat. So just so the ladies know, don't write the show, dammit,

on how to contact him. He's got his email on his Instagram, so you can go there, people, and do that. You're probably going to get some folks from West Hollywood and San Francisco, which is fine. Let's talk about your hero's journey. You're living your best life. I've known some male models. The truth to be told, actually, I owned a modeling agency in Utah and California in, I think it was 2000, 2001 to 2006. Um, and, uh, it was an

acting modeling agency at our own bikini team and, and stuff. So we had male models, we had female models. That's kind of, I kind of know, um, what models are. And of course I was the head of it being the most hottest model of them all um and you should see me in a bikini damn it oh geez wow snapchat buddy save it for snapchat it's a save for snapchat there you go uh and uh so but you're going through a great journey i mean most of most of my models i know you know they kind of fade away maybe after 30 or 40 uh you're you've gone 20 years in the business and you're still rocking it. Yeah. So I actually started late. I started when I was 26.

I kind of had to start late because, like you mentioned, my mom passed away very suddenly the day before my 21st birthday. She wasn't sick. It was a very unexpected, very tragic passing. And that led me in the direction of drinking. And I drank a lot. I became an alcoholic. I was quite overweight.

Wow. See some pictures of me on my Instagram. And I was not functioning as an alcoholic, but I didn't know how to feel my feelings or deal with my feelings. That's when I was diagnosed with having severe anxiety and clinical depression and panic disorder and those things. And, you know,

back then it wasn't talked about. I didn't, I didn't know what I was dealing with. And the only way that it seemed to be remedied was, you know, drink 15 to 25 beers at a time and just, you know, deal with it. So I did that for a few years and got to a pretty dark place and a pretty bad place health wise. And I'm very lucky because I got a really bad case of acute pancreatitis.

And that put me in, yeah, that put me in the hospital for just under a month. I had to have, I was 25 at the time, I had to have five blood transfusions. I almost died twice. I lost 60 pounds in that month, but the first two weeks alone, I lost 40 pounds. And like I said, I almost died twice, but I came out of that with a much greater appreciation for taking care of my body. And, you know it it scared me i they didn't know what i could handle alcohol wise from there on but having gone through that and it being it was from drinking i said okay i don't i don't want to you know i'm never going to touch a sip

of alcohol again so i'm uh 16 and a half years sober from alcohol but i found other i found other devices uh we'll we'll, we'll get into that. But, uh, yeah, so that's, uh, let me,

let me delve into this a little bit, if you don't mind, um, in your journey. So, uh, your mother obviously was an important factor in your life. Did you have a father growing up in your life?

I do. Yeah. Yeah. My father actually, so he's, he's still here, uh, with us.

He's, he actually lives about 20 minutes away from me. He moved down a couple of years ago. He and I are very close. But yeah, my mom and I were best friends. Very, very important figure. Just shattered my world as I knew it. A mother really helps shape a young man.

A father does too. But daughters really seem to have uh there's a lot of influence that goes to them with a father and then mothers uh with a son uh and so when you when you lost your mother were you just not equipped to handle it or how to deal with it or did you put your feelings away and and move to alcohol um you know what was it the crisis that was making you maybe get closure or something? It was more of a, like, not knowing how to deal with it. And how do I just not feel these feelings? How do I distract myself?

How do I temporarily, you know, comfortably numb myself? And that was my way of dealing with it and but by not dealing with it because like i said i didn't you know therapy wasn't really talking about as much back then you know i was that was 20 years ago and um anxiety depression all these things weren't really as talked you know talked about as much so yeah i was just really just trying to deal with it in any way but avoiding avoiding it was my way of dealing with it. There you go. Do you find you have an addictive personality or were you more using it?

Okay, there you go. Yeah, very much. Yeah, very much so. My dad says it's my greatest asset and it's my worst. When I do things, I want to do them to the nth degree. So when I was skateboarding in high school, I was like, okay, i want to do them to the nth degree so like when i was you know skateboarding in high school i was like okay i want to be a professional skater i didn't become a professional skater but and then you know whether it's sports i'll you know i i took lacrosse all

the way to becoming a professional lacrosse player and when i when i drank i i drank until i put myself in the hospital for a you know a month and you know the drugs came afterwards and other things came after that. But yes, I do have a very addictive personality. It's something that I've had to learn to quell and really be aware of and learn to balance out. And I'm finally doing that now. And it's taking a long time to do that because it is in me instinctively. So yeah, that, that personality is, has always been, like I said, one of my best and my, my worst assets.

There you go. That, that drive. So at what point did you start finally, you know, realizing that maybe you need to get the addictions and, you know, you have the crisis with the health and the booze, but then you move on to other addictions. When, finally start saying hey maybe i should deal with this and what steps did you take did you seek some psychology help or or meditation or anything of that nature i i did and it wasn't so it wasn't until i was 35 to be honest i spent uh i spent about 15 years as an addict, as you know, this comfortably numb and avoiding things. And I finally went to,

I went to therapy at 35 after, excuse me, I developed an eating disorder when I was, when I was modeling because of the, you know, the, the pressure that's put on you physically as you start traveling and you start, you know, working and seeing other people and start comparing yourself to other people. And you're like, well, why is this person working more than

I am? And I, I spend so much time in the gym and that was another one too, where I, I, you know, I had a fitness addiction because, you know, I'm, I'm doing something good. I'm doing something healthy, but if you're going twice a day and spending six hours in the gym a day. Anyway, so I went from that. And then it all comes back to trying not to feel my feelings. Because I say that I had bulimia, but I say that I was a functioning bulimic. Whereas I would eat all my meals throughout the day. And I would eat very healthy. I'd take all my vitamins everything would be fine but it would be like when the night

was over and i was alone with myself and my thoughts i needed something to boost my serotonin something to distract me and that's where the binging and purging would come in so it was like it was about an eight-year battle that i had with that and then i started to dabble with drugs again and you know first year was smoking weed and um you know i was just like oh i'll just smoke a little bit of weed but my brain doesn't say that my brain says oh that felt good let's do that all the time like let's like oh yeah like we're gonna smoke like a quarter ounce like no like i was smoking like two ounces a week like by myself just and i was at the point where i was going to

different drug dealers i was so embarrassed with how much weed i was buying and how much i was spending on this stuff and i would go and and then i started with the adderall because that was you know a really good way a good way to focus a good way to focus, a good way to stay lean. But then I'd find myself on, you know, three or four day benders where I would just be up for days. And, you know, just, uh, I finally had to, had to cut that off. And then the next thing was the nitrous and doing whippets. And, you know, I, like those things are extremely addictive and i i always say that i was very good with keeping myself on the baseline drugs like i did a lot of them and i did them to excess but i knew the moment that i put like cocaine in my system that was it there was no

there was no turning back i knew that i knew that i couldn't graduate to the next step so i i stayed on that baseline. And the final straw for me was in my 30s, I finally quit smoking weed. I cut back on the whip. But I found these muscle relaxers, over-the-counter muscle relaxers. And they had 500 milligrams of what was called methacarbamol, which is a muscle relaxer, and 200 milligrams of ibuprofen in each pill. And I would take them because I had aches and pains from working out and from lacrosse. And I'd smoke some weed, and I'd take like four of them.

They'd be like, oh, I feel a little extra loose. So when I quit smoking, I saw these pills. And I was like, okay, well, what happens if I take a couple more and a couple more? And, and, and that's the addict, the addict's mentality is, you know, one is too many and a thousand is never enough. And anyway, I got to the point where, uh, you know, it says, don't take more, don't exceed 12 per day. And I was taking 100 of these pills every single day every single and i'm not saying it because i'm proud of it i'm not saying it because i it's just it's a fact of the matter i would go there i'd buy the generic version it was 38 and some change it was a bottle of 100

i would just dump a handful of 30 or so in there i just drink whatever and then i'd either fall asleep for a while or i'd be like kind of out of it and i did that for a number of months and i started to not feel myself go figure i started to i started to feel a little off and not just when i was under the influence or taking the pills i started to notice that my um my motivation and my um my strength and my you know it was just all kind of falling off i had i had no drive and i was losing weight and i remember i was on a shoot and i was starting to have fainting spells i fainted at my house twice i woke up my dogs licking my face and i'm like so i'm starting to freak out and think you know i'm gonna be driving one day and i'm gonna faint and i'm gonna take somebody out like you know i'm doing this to

myself but i'm really worried about like this impacting other people and i was doing a shoot one day and i was uh we were shooting actually the cover of a romance novel i've been i've been on the cover of like over 150 romance novels damn dude i've only been on five or ten. Well, let me have it. Let me have one thing. I mean, that'll be my thing. But they were a great client when I was up in Canada. They were great to work with Harley Quinn. And I was shooting. We're shooting on the top of a truck. And every time

I get down, I'd be like, I'm about to pass out. I'm going to pass out, and I'm going to cause a scene. So I went home that day, and I didn't take the pills. And I figured I finally put two and two together. And I was like, okay, I can't ignore cause a scene. So I went home that day and I didn't take the pills. And I figured I finally put two and two together and was like, okay, I can't ignore this any longer. The next day I was supposed to go to a shoot.

I went straight to the ER instead. And I had massive internal bleeding. I had intestinal ulcer from, from taking 50,000 milligrams of methocarbamol and 20,000 milligrams of ibuprofen every single day I was taking that. So that was the final straw. That's when I was 35. And I was like, this plan that I have is not a plan.

It's not working. I'm not living the life I'm supposed to be living. I'm not living the life for myself, for my mom, for the people around me. Not to mention all the dozens of rock bottoms that I had hit, you know, throughout my whole 15 years. And I just wasn't, you know, I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing and living how I was supposed to be living. And that's when I said, you know, enough of this macho BS about, you know, therapies for wimps and all that stuff that I used to tell myself about, you know, I don't have the money,

but I have money for drugs. I don't have the time. I got time for drugs, you know, but I, I'm not going to sit there and pay somebody to judge, to judge me. And I just said,

you know what? I've, I've got to, I've got to go, I got to do something else. And that's when I went and things got a lot harder before they got a lot easier because I was now sober for the first time. I didn't have a distraction. Even when I was sober, I was working out too much

and then I wasn't sober. But I was 35 and I was an adult and I'm trying to live now as a functioning sober adult. And all of these nice little things that I had compartmentalized and, you know, put over here and put over there and tucked away here and this really failed relationship and mom passing and eating disorder. And, you know, the creepy guy from that casting I went to in Miami, like all of that just flooded and unloaded. And, but I just, with that same mentality of you know i'm all or none i said i'm not gonna let this beat me and i'm going to i'm gonna roll my sleeves and i'm gonna get to work and i worked with a wonderful therapist and started to learn the tools that i needed to to have a to live as a functioning sober, you know, adult for the first

time. There you go. So we can encourage people to do the work. How, how long did it take before you finally felt like you were starting to really break through? Cause some people go, you know, they're like, Hey, I'll go see a psychiatrist. And they go to like one meeting and then they're like, ah, I'm sure I'm fine now. Yeah, no, it took. So I saw the psychiatrist in Canada that I saw for about two and a half years. And at first, it was every week. Because like I said, everything just came rushing to me. And the mental health, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. And I was seeing her every week.

And then we started to go to two weeks. But slowly, I was picking up these tools. And I wanted to learn the tools to do the work myself i didn't want to like have to call it from the grocery store and be like should i get whole wheat bread with seeds or without seeds like you know i didn't i didn't want to like rely on this person for every i wanted to learn how to do this myself and to just say hey i don't know how to do this and And I need these, I need help. I need these tools so I can solve these problems and not run to, I believe there's a great place

for medication. And I do take a daily medication just as like a kind of a helper thing, but I didn't want to run to something like I knew I could never take a Xanax or any of those kinds of things because that would just turn into another thing so to answer your question i would say after about a year it started to rebuild my confidence that's what i needed to do was to rebuild my self-confidence and to know that i can do this and i can do this sober and i can do it well and i can i can feel the ups and downs of life whereas you know if things got too real and they drop down here it'd be like oh well I gotta reach for something I gotta you know I gotta find something but you know the ups and downs and ebbs and flows of life were like okay

and after about a year you know I'd see her once a month and then I got to the place where I was at a good, I was in a good place mentally. And I felt like I'd done the work and I was ready to make a move down to Texas to go towards an opportunity and not to run from my problems like I had been doing for 15 years or so. And I've started seeing somebody recently, just as more of a check-in just as like a you know every six weeks just to to chat and just you know like i said not a not crisis management kind of stuff just like it's it's nice you know i spend so much time on my physical health and taking my vitamins and eating healthy and all that kind of stuff like you know i just want to tune up and just like a nice conversation with a educated non-biased third party person so yeah

i would say it took me about a year to start to build but it really it really took a took a lot to build and that's why i'm such a big believer in treating people with respect because it is so easy to break somebody's self-confidence and to or to break your own self-confidence and it can take years or a lifetime to rebuild and you know as somebody who's done that to themselves and my therapist that i see now she's like it can take one sentence to ruin somebody's life self-confidence and it can take a lifetime to never be able to rebuild it so i think it's very important to lead with grace and to you you know, be, uh, put positivity out there for people because I wouldn't wish what I've been on, been through upon my worst enemy, but at the same time, I wouldn't take it back for the world because it's made me who I am today.

And I'm very proud of that. There you go. And you were really lucky that you had the wherewithal to, you know, reach a point of acknowledgement where you can go, I need help. There's, you know, there's a lot of people, especially the, some that, you know, suffer from really bad addiction where, you know, either the law has to intervene or they have a feigning or a drunk driving episode, or, or they have friends who have to have an intervention and, you know, forced you to go to rehab or court of court forced you to go to rehab so it's good that you had the wherewithal to do that and i imagine you know in in therapy you had to exercise all your demons a lot of people they they hold stuff inside and it becomes like a poison that just kind of self-poisons you and until you kind of bleed that out you let that poison out kind of like a snake bite you know you

got to bleed out that poison until you do that therapy and you and you stare at your demons and some of the things that are haunting you and you're hiding you know i imagine that's part of the journey you had to go through absolutely it is it truly is and that is accepting what's happened in your life and recognizing it and seeing it for what it is. Like my mom, like I said, is, was the most important person in the world to me. And she passed and it was, it was awful. It still is awful to this day. And I think about her every single day, but it's an, it's an unfortunate fact of life, but it is a fact of life. And that is, you know, how I've had to move forward and you know whether things

are good or bad um and i really well i'll say this first when i worked with my therapist i really like the way that she approached it because it was at my pace and what i wanted to talk to if i glanced over something she wouldn't be like hey let's go back to that part where like you almost broke down like let's focus on that like he wasn't one of those people and that that was a very good communication style for me whereas i could i could unfurl and unravel my traumas and you know my things i was ready to talk about not ready to talk about and do that at my own pace and kind of work through it but you you're absolutely right. It's facing your demons and, and knowing that these are, these are our part of our life. But, you know,

more recently I've looked at myself and life and realized that a lot of it and where I've got, I've gotten to now, and I'm, I'm still just trying to grow. I do not think I have it all figured out by any means. You know, when I was 18, I had it all figured out. Like, don't get me wrong. I mean, you needed the answer. I had like, you know, i was 18 i had it all figured out like don't be wrong i mean you needed the answer i had like you know come to me but the older you get the least the more you realize you don't know one of the reasons why i love talking about this stuff is i want to learn from other people it's very cathartic for me to open up and to unveil these things that i thought i was going

to take to my grave because i was ashamed of them but i've forgiven myself for the things that have happened to me out of my control. And for the things that I've done and the mistakes that I've made, because you know what, I was trying my best with what I had at the time. I was just doing my best. I didn't I was I didn't know. I was I was doing the best I could. And yeah, it took me down a few like a wrong path. But okay. I mean, I i was trying and i finally so i think that's a big thing that people hold on to is that uh element of not forgiving yourself for making mistakes and you know the money i spent and the time i wasted and all like yeah that's that's okay that's that's there and we can't change that so let's not dwell on the past

and let's just focus on being present and and understanding that that's happened and that's so important and i like what you're doing now about how you're sharing and talking about it i mean i remember one time i my my my uh my first child my, uh, that I had for about 12 or 14 years, uh, one night just passed away within a half an hour of a seizure. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I always thought, you know, you'd have that, you know, okay, well spend some time with your dog and they're sick and, and, you know, put them down and, you know, you'll have the whole time to say goodbye. And it was just instant. And, uh, and and and so it hit me like a ton of bricks and i remember putting down half a bottle of vodka and just pouring out in in a drafted facebook post

everything i felt and i thought you know my god i don't want to share this with people this is way too much this is way too emotional This is way too private. And I kind of really didn't want to wake up the next morning. And I was just, I was deep in the sauce. And I sat there for a half an hour looking at it going, I don't want to press this button. And finally, I guess probably within a vodka, I did. And I'm like, I gotta go pass out. And so I pressed the button and passed out. And I'm like, I don't,. And so I pressed the button and passed out. And I'm like,

I don't, maybe I just won't wake up tomorrow morning. And the next morning I woke up with incredible hangover and people calling me. Uh, but people, uh, after that I learned, uh, were moved by what I'd written and what I'd shared in my story that I didn't want to share. And they were like, Hey man, you know, seeing how you poured out your heart and soul in that, in that post and sharing your story, you know, I realized that I didn't have closure from my dad passing away or my dog passing away, or you helped me understand more of what I, you know, and connect more. And a lot of people were bearing their feelings and maybe they're using, you know, some different, uh, devices to, to mask that or bury it or distract from it like you were. But it was amazing how many people it helped.

And, in fact, some of the stories that I share with my second dog that went through cancer and we did about a year and a half. We did things to keep her going and survive it for quite a while. In fact, it was arthritis that got her in the end. And but telling those stories have saved so many other people. And that's the one thing about life. We don't, you know, you don't get an owner's manual. And so you're kind of doing the, like you said, the best you can. But sharing our stories and sharing our journeys and sharing our cathartic moments and our failures

and then how we get through them are a great way to actually help other people and help each other and you realize you're not alone and that's what i found when i shared my story like you're sharing your story where you find out that you know other people go hey man you're not alone we all we're all going through this you're going to be fine you're going to get through it so it's great that you're doing that now yeah no i think you're absolutely right and i i appreciate those are great examples and i'm i mean i i love dogs so i mean i i got that my little dogs out there just waiting patiently for dinner but and that's the thing i'm not i'm not a preachy non-drinker i don't think everybody should not drink i think everybody should live

their life and eat what you want to eat and do what you want to do. I'm not a preachy, you know, do this kind of do that kind of person. I'm just like you said, I just want to share because I remember that loneliness of being so empty and just thinking, you know what? I'm done with this. Like, I'm just it's just be a lot easier if I just took that way out and I just was done with this and I'm never gonna have a normal life again I'm never gonna be normal and you're right like the after I share I'm just like I said I told you before the pre-interview I'm just starting to talk about this in the last like month or so and I I put a post on on Instagram excuse me

talking about some of this stuff and talking about having an eating disorder and having the drug addictions and i you know hit the post button and the nerves kind of flooded over me and the next time i walked in the gym i was like oh my gosh everybody knows some of my secrets like they're looking at me differently and they i had an amazing reception with regards to people being like hey like that was a really brave thing you did i really appreciate that like if you ever need to talk and or or like you said and and i was like oh okay like and if somebody is gonna you know take the time and like make fun of you because of that well they're a piece of

shit anyway so you know like they're probably never dealt with their issues either right yeah exactly and i had somebody uh actually on somebody on my tiktok who commented that it's a lot easier to get over depression if you're attractive and fit and it's and i but i i thought about that for a minute and i thought you know what i i made a post and i i back to that video and I say, I understand this person who made this comment. I was this person. I really sympathize with this person. I hope whoever wrote this, I know they're going through something very hard and I know that's coming from a place of pain.

So I really hope that they can get the help that they need. And it doesn't, you know, as we know, things don't make it easy. I mean, you look in the mirror every day and you see perfection. So it's like, you know, you know, it's not, I mean, it's just, we still have our ups and downs. I mean, think about the rest of us, Chris. I mean, geez, but it's, you know, it doesn't, you know, it doesn't make it easier. And, you know, these things don't, they don't kick people by race, by gender, by creed, by tax bracket.

These things affect, these are societal problems. And I think it's important to talk about. And I often remember people looking at me and looking at me like a way, I felt like an imposter. Because on the outside they saw something and they saw a certain thing there's jonathan oh yeah that's the guy who's traveled around the world and done all the modeling and the guy who's really fit and comes in here like but on the inside i was broken i was a shell of a human being and i felt like a fraud and i was like i remember writing to myself in like i would

write down notes and just kind of when i was feeling positive and i always talk about like trying to focus on the positive and i would just write to myself like be the person that people think you are like try it like i need to be that person and i started to become the person for myself that i know i am and it's not so much about other people's interpretations. It's about being the best person for yourself. And, but that was a stepping stone for me. And,

and that, like I said, I really made me feel like a fraud and, and just to take it back to the whole dog thing, I have two quotes about dogs that I love. And, you know, as a dog lover,

you know, you'll, you've maybe heard them or whatever. One of them is, uh, try and be the person your dog thinks you know you'll you've maybe heard them or whatever one of them is uh try and be the person your dog thinks you are because it doesn't it doesn't matter if you are i mean you see people on the streets with dogs you see people like you get home and you are you know you're you are killing it man you are like you got food on time you're like you know you are that person so the way they look up to you is just like,

you know, try and be that person. And the second one is I love my dog because it's the only one that treats me like I'm the Beatles every time I come home. And it's that you're back. It's like, I am back. Like what?

Let's have a party. Okay. For five minutes. Like I, yeah. So, but yeah, it's, it's, you're absolutely right. It's very cathartic to empty those things out. It's, it's important to, to really just, like I said before, to really forgive yourself and to do it with a purpose.

It sounds corny, but if I can tell my story and help even one person and help them you know feel better i just want to help make the world a better place and if somebody hearing my story and hearing the things and the mistakes that i've made can help them through stuff that they've been are going through then i'm more than happy to or as a cautionary tale of don't do this like trust me i mean i got a ton of stories and then we could spend a whole day talking about i mean we got a few more shows there yeah i mean we were going before before we fit record but there you go yeah so uh that's i think you're absolutely right it's it's really important to share and to to really lean on and help one another and to, to really lean on and help one another and to realize that, you know, we are all going

through things and, and we can use some help. And I think just, it's important thing to do. There you go. It seems like everybody goes through some sort of cathartic, the things in their life. You know, I drank really heavily, uh, for 20 years, uh, mainly cause I'm a machine, uh, vodka just is like sugar for me. So I can go forever. I can, you know, party all night long if I got, if I got booze and I was never addicted to it, but I abused it. So, you know, half a bottle of vodka, um, and I'm a bigger guy, so it takes a little bit. I have a, I have a high tolerance for any drugs um so i have to take a whole lot if i want thankfully i never really got anything because i mean well cocaine just gives me a post nasal drip and a and a and a uh it doesn't even give me high it's just a post nasal

drip and it's annoying as hell and i'm just like is this all there's um i suppose if i snorted a whole bloody eight ball maybe it would do something but you know who's got the money for that on a continual basis but booze was kind of like my booze is kind of my thing because it gave me that nice little buzz but after 20 years and waking up with too many hangovers and the and the abuse of my body my body just going you know what fuck you we're done with you we're we're moving out you know our kidney and liver started packing my back their bags and they're like we're just not gonna deal with you anymore you got tired of the waking up with the hangovers you know the feeling like shit i started

tuning in my body more and eating better and and i could tell i was dehydrated for two and three days and you know you're like wow it's just an hour of fun on friday night you know it's three days of hell and you know once you hit 50 it is you have a beer and you got a hangover and so all the abuse uh kind of caught to you but that's kind of how we learn you know we kind of sadly you know hindsight's always 20 20 and it's not until we get about 10 15 20 years down the road we look back and go oh there's a mess i left behind yeah for sure no and then hopefully you learn from it yeah that's the thing and i'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason and no matter what happens or what we're going through i think it's really important to even if it is 15 years or you know like you know you spent

your 20 years of doing that i spent my 15 years of doing whatever to look back and to see everything, even my mom's passing and say, what am I supposed to learn from this? How am I going to move forward from this? And, and to, to find the message and how are we going to learn and grow and move forward to either avoid making the same mistakes or just you know have a learning experience and to you know to go forward with it but i think everything happens for a reason and yeah there's a there's a message in everything and you have to really you know sometimes you have to like yeah feel the feelings of grief or loss or whatever is your feeling like go through that feel it for sure but then look back at it and say what was that why was that and you know if it's something that was under your control

then okay i have to come to terms with this if it's something that was in your control then okay i you know like you said i i can avoid this by not drinking a handle of vodka even though i just it was like goes down like water for you like oh yeah yeah yeah so i think it's important you couldn't get a buzz on unless you really got going but i'd gone up to 300 350 pounds or something like that i was pretty high and uh so yeah it took a little bit more to move the needle but for me it was like a sugar you know i was at first it started out where i was like yeah yeah, I'll have some vodka. And I'd be tired at the end of the night, and I own three companies, and I'm trying to work longer hours and do the whole CEO entrepreneur thing.

And so I'm like, well, get ahead of the thing. It was like drinking a sugar shot. And you're like, hey, I'm kind of awake now. I'm relaxed. I'm not less tight, so I can work more. So there you go. So it's great you're sharing the journey. What is your plan now?

Are you going to start doing some coaching? Are you going to keep sharing your story on Instagram, try and inspire more people? You're doing a lot with what you're doing with working out that I see here on Instagram. Yeah, so the plan right now is I'm putting more content out and just kind of sharing my journey on Instagram and TikTok and Facebook and eventually YouTube and, you know, getting into deeper topics and just kind of, you know, what I've been through and talking to friends and stuff and, you know, what I've learned from people around me. I do want to get to the point.

I've had a lot of people reach out. And the first thing I say is, you know, you should go speak to a medical professional. And you should go talk to somebody who's a, you know, licensed medical professional. But I, you know, I love when people reach out. And like I said, whether it's asking me something, or, you know, learning something from them. But no, I want to continue this journey. And I want to, I'm going to start doing some speaking engagements and, you know, doing more podcasts and eventually starting my own as well. And just kind of seeing where it goes. I love modeling.

I mean, now that you're retired, I mean, you left some space for the rest of us, the vacuum chain, the vacuum's kind of opened up. So, you know,

the rest of us can put some food on our plates. Like, thanks bud. Like, but I want to be, you know what? I want to be booked as i've been for 14 years i've been booked as jonathan like i've been booked as the guy who's six foot two he's got kind of tan skin he's got muscles and stuff i mean you know you know the same stuff you look at in the mirror every day but i want to be yeah exactly i want to be booked for me, for Jonathan Neisel, the guy who has those things and works really hard and is very diligent. And, but the guy who's been through stuff and comes with the message and, you know, is, is deeper than just what's skin deep because, you know, I think we're, are much more than that. So I don't know, it's kind of up to, up to the universe and kind of just,

I've got an idea and directions on where I want to go with things. And then it's kind of seeing where we're, how things unfold and, and just taking them. But right now, like I said, I'm working on putting out content weekly on Instagram, quite a bit on Instagram and tech talk and working with a social media team

and, and, you know, getting that stuff out, focusing on Instagram and tech talk and working with a social media team and, and, you know, getting that stuff out, focusing on certain topics and, uh, really starting the conversation with people. And,

uh, yeah, just going from there. There you go. Uh, write a book. Books are always great. You tell your story in a book,

your life story. Yeah. Yeah, that's absolutely, that's, that's definitely a, that's a longer term. You're up.

Yeah. I forgot. That's, those are the stories we were gonna we're talking about earlier that you know we didn't talk about the show oh yeah uh and i'm sure yeah no that's you probably fill a whole book oh man oh yeah for sure a couple but uh you know what we all can i mean it's it's it's fascinating like you know it's it's really, life's very interesting that way. And like I said, I wouldn't change it for anything because it's made me who I am. And, you know, it's what I had to go through. And hindsight's 20-20.

I mean, great. If we could do that, then great. But I don't think I'd want to go back and I'd want to change anything. I think it's just, this is what we have. And I don't know why you spend time thinking about that when it's not a possibility let's just keep uh keep moving forward and growing and this feels right you know as much as like the first time i did a podcast the first time i hit you know hit that button to share that post as much as the nerves and the anxiety really built up um you know connecting with people like yourself and having these and, you know, connecting with people like yourself and, you know, thankfully being invited

on your platform to share and to talk about it, it feels right. And it's something that I want to continue to do. And I'm just a regular guy who's trying to share a story and help other people with theirs and, yeah, just make the world a better place. So we'll see. There you go. There's the beauty of it. When you write your book, I'll give it to the Victoria's Secret models that I date because they kind of have a cocaine problem.

Yeah, they need someone to do that. They need someone to put it on top of. They're going to read. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, fair enough, buddy. Is that a mirror for doing your hair? No, that's on the table hair oh no that's on the table okay oh that's uh horizontal that's a eight foot uh yeah that's yeah that's not that's not

what mirrors are for my house and the mirrors on the roof over the bed very suddenly style throwback yeah there you go we're a bit old uh so there you go but i'm glad you're sharing your story because stories are the owner's manual to life. They're how we learn from each other, the lessons we learn. They're how we realize we're not alone in the universe, that there's a human commonality among us. And the worst thing people can do is feel that they're alone. And they're alone with their problems. And they feel persecuted because maybe they're the only one who's suffering from this.

And when you open up and you talk about your issues, then you find other people, um, you know, have these issues as well. So there you go. Uh, and I'm glad, uh, a modeling kindred spirit of mine came on. Hey buddy, we got to stick together. We got to, we got to stay together. We got to band together. You know, so give us your give us your Instagram one more time.

And I think it's TikTok, wherever you want people to find you on the internet. Yeah. So Instagram and TikTok are both just by name. It's J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N, Jonathan and Nizol, N-I-Z-I-O-L or N-I-Z-I-O-L for the Canadians and the other places that use that instead of Z. But that's where you'll find me on Instagram,

on TikTok, on YouTube. I don't think there's much on my YouTube channel yet, but I do have that YouTube channel marked and on Facebook. And yeah, I love to hear from people. I love to hear people's stories. I love to connect and talk and to learn. Like I said, I just don't think we can, we can share enough and learn enough from each other and have these kinds of

conversations. Cause they're, they're extremely important. Yeah. And I mean, in my life, you can learn a lot, like what not to do ever.

I mean, 2000, over 2000 interviews, man. I mean, you should be making like perfect everything. I mean, you should,

I can only imagine. It depends on if I can feel my legs or not. When you're 55, it's all over. Fair enough. I have a lot of respect for what you do and how you've been doing it for.

I aspire to get to a place where maybe one day you'll come on. Maybe not that far. maybe not that far i was i was gonna go a different direction with it i was gonna say like maybe one day on podcast you'll come on mine but sure yeah maybe not that far hot legs are kind of important to you know i gotta i gotta walk i gotta play hockey but yeah i i'd like to i've got a couple bruises on my knees from a couple of hits into the boards the last tournament I played in and stuff.

And I'm like, geez, I get too old for this. But then the next game comes around and I'm like, I can't wait to do this. I mean, it's just, I love it. So, but yeah. Yeah, it's a good ride. But write your book, tell your story, share it with the world, inspire other people. And the great thing about it is you're going to help actually probably a lot more people that you'll never hear from and, but you'll touch them

and you'll move them in a way and you'll change your life in a way. And every now and then you'll hear about it. Somebody will come up to you and go, Hey, you know, three years ago you said something and I didn't really say anything at times. I couldn't deal with it, but you helped me get through this and you changed my life. I mean, there's people on my Twitter account that, you know, I just shared some quotes one day of some positive stuff. And they wrote me privately and said, I was going to end it today. This was the day that I made the decision to end it. And I just happened to see some random thing that Chris Voss tweeted.

And I saw, you know, your other content and made a decision that I'm going to hang in there. And so sometimes you just never know, man. Sometimes you never know when you're going to touch people and move people. And that's why it's important to tell your story, even though sometimes you don't always get good feedback because sometimes the people that hear it, they can't. And they're not in the moment to express it. But they'll eventually will. And it'll come back to you.

And so it's really good stuff. Thank you very much, Jonathan, for coming on the show. We'll let you get back to your regular YouTube program, dodging bras and panties being thrown at you as a male model. Walking my dog and binging Netflix.

Yeah, it's a pretty crazy life I'm living over here. At least you're healthy and happy now, and that's the great thing. I don't know about you but my my body loves me now that i quit all the unhealthy stuff i mean even like food i eat better food now and farm food and veganese food and stuff my body's like thank you thank you we're gonna keep you around for a while we've decided that hey it's better late than ever and it's never too late to start and that's the thing i mean we all have different timeline and like we said they all have different you know uh storylines or whatever for our lives and there's no script or whatever and and yeah it's never too late to start and at whatever pace you think or is right for you it's just yeah making yourself a priority

uh physically emotionally and mentally i think it's all it's all one because i've ignored uh the emotional and the mental part before and just focus on the physical and that's not the answer but it's all you got to keep the whole the whole thing going so yeah i think uh i really appreciate you having me on like i said before this is this is a lot of fun um it's nice to have you know be able to have a bit more lighthearted conversation as well as talking about more serious stuff and uh have a good back and forth and uh yeah thanks very much i really do really do appreciate that thank you jonathan hey if you ever bump into you know in the modeling arena for male models you're bumping in at chippendales las vegas can you tell them to get the manager return my calls i'm trying to get my job back over there. So there you go. I'll see what I can do. I heard

the checks in the mail last I heard. So I mean, I'd look out for that. Just don't hold your breath. Let's just, yeah, don't hold your breath. There's always the magic mics and thunder down here in Vegas. So there you go. And my spirit rider won't take me

either. So that's a different story, whatever that's about. Thank you very much, Jonathan, for coming on me either. So that's a different story, whatever that's about. Uh, thank you very much, Jonathan, for coming on this show. Thanks to my audience for tuning in, go to goodreads.com for Jessica's LinkedIn.com for Jessica's YouTube.com for Jessica's and Chris Foss one over on, uh,

TikTok. That's a crazy place for the kids. Thanks for tuning in. Be good to each other. Stay safe and take care of yourself. We'll see you next time. And that should have us out. Thanks.