The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Kacey Kingry Owner, Lotus Life Coaching, Helping Growth-Oriented Individuals Break Through Cycles

Episode Date: August 5, 2023

Kacey Kingry Owner, Lotus Life Coaching, Helping Growth-Oriented Individuals Break Through Cycles Lifecoachingbylotus.com JOIN Lotus Life Patreon Community Doom + Bloom Podcast Biography Kacey is the Breakthrough Queen. She has broken through many generational cycles in her own life, including overcoming an addiction to alcohol, and is an expert in supporting others to create lasting breakthroughs in their own lives. Kacey uniquely applies the ancient wisdom of Yoga to enable healing and empowering coaching principles to come alive in her own life and in the lives of her clients. Her teachings and perspectives are known for helping people understand themselves more deeply, and with that understanding they create new patterns that lead to a life of greater connection, joy, and abundance.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, folks. It's Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com, thechrisvossshow.com. Welcome to the show. We certainly appreciate you guys being here. Thanks for coming. And we have an amazing show to you today.

When do we not have an amazing show? We always have amazing shows because we go out into the Google machine in the world, and it's online too, and we put in there amazing freaking guests. And we take the names that come up, and we invite them on the show. And most of them say no of course but uh the the some of the really coolest ones are like i'm gonna do the chris voss show it sounds like something to do uh he's kind of funny he's kind of ugly and fat but uh we won't hold that against him and we're gonna come on the show we'll have some fun with him i don't know like it's always the ramble people you. You never know where it's going to go.

Today we have an amazing guest on the show. I'll tell you the secret. There's a hint here somewhere in this joke. Why does everyone love yoga teachers? Because they bend over backwards for you. That's awful. I'm fired. Anyway, guys,

be sure to refer the show to your family, friends, and relatives. Go to goodreads.com, forchesschrisfast, linkedin.com, forchesschrisfast, the Bing LinkedIn group of 130,000 people, LinkedIn newsletter, all that sort of good stuff that we do. Today, we have an amazing guest, as always, aforementioned on the show. Casey Kingery joins us on the show.

She's the owner of Lotus Life Coaching. And as you may guess, she may be into some yoga. So we're going to get into that as well. She joins us on the show and she'll be talking to us about her life, her journey, and some of the things that she's experienced that may help improve your life as well. I think it will because some of the concepts i'm familiar with and plus she's gonna maybe she might bend over backwards during the show or at least give us information that will be bending over backwards for that yoga joke uh casey is dedicated to growth and authenticity uh she's the spiritual mental and emotional transformation that she has created for

herself which is deeply rooted in physical movement. She believes that the body serves as a gateway to deeper places inside of us all. I should check into that. With her clients in both yoga classes and life coaching, she uses her deep knowledge of the body, mind, and emotions and nervous system. What about multiple personalities? We'll ask her on the show because I have some. To unravel old patterns of behavior in order to break through old cycles and consciously create new ones maybe i can create some new personalities uh casey is a sixth generation colorado native who recently traded the mountains for lake life she now lives in minnesota with her partner one of her favorite

things to do is ride their 1976 vintage wind tandem bike with her man when it's warm enough of course which I think is one month out of all the seasons in Minnesota welcome to the show Casey how are you I'm wonderful Chris thank you so much that was quite the introduction I'm so happy to be here thank you thank you all right well thanks for the show folks everyone see you next time no I'm just kidding uh I'm I'm picturing that 1976 vintage Schwinn tandem bike. Cause I grew up in the seventies. Actually. I had one of those bikes that had the banana.

Uh, they call it the banana bike. Cause it was like a banana, uh, a seat. And then you had like this, uh, this roadster Harley David or Harley sort of, uh, thing that went up really high, which I guess was a roll bar, but I don't know what purpose it really had. And then you look like a dragster in it. And that was my thing. But yeah, I remember driving those old vintage Schwinn bikes. That's really cool. They're still around.

Oh my gosh. Well, we were, both my boyfriend and I were born in 1977. So it's like, it's a, it's a trifecta that we all kind of came into existence at the same time. And it's super, super duper fun. It's really, it's really, it brings a trifecta that we all kind of came into existence at the same time. And it's super, super duper fun. It's really, it's really, it brings us a lot of joy. There you go. Well, I drove those bikes and I was born in 68.

So I got you there. Um, the, uh, so, uh, give us your.com so people can find you on the interwebs, please. Lifecoachingbylotus.com. There you go. And let's get a plug in too for your, uh, Patreon and your, uh, podcast as well. Thank you so much.

So my Patreon community is just patreon.com backslash Casey Kingrey, K A C E Y K I N G R Y. And what you'll find there is tools for the journey that you'll actually use. And then I also have a mostly weekly podcast called doom and bloom, where we take the challenges in life that exist all around us and learn how to interface with them in a way that helps us to grow and bloom and ultimately thrive. There you go. Doom and Bloom. I love that.

The first rendition of the Chris Foss show was just going to be Doom and Doom. So it's some depression issues back then. Uh, so I love this doom and bloom. So, uh, this is something you can listen every day. And you know,

if you're feeling a little in the dumps or do me, or you happen to read the news as you woke up out of bed, you can list this and get a pump, uh, up and, and, uh, feeling better.

Totally. It's my belief that like every, everyone's going to get dirty in life. Like stuff's going to happen to all of us. Life is going to life all over us because that's just what life does. But I don't necessarily believe that everyone's going to use the dirt as fertilizer to really help them grow, you know? And that's really what I do in my communities and my podcast with my clients is help them take that dirt to help them to really grow something.

There you go. I like that concept. So life, did you say, uh, I, I, if I heard you correctly, life is, does life all over us or something like that? Life will always life all over us. Life just keeps lifing, right? It just keeps lifing. I have some lifing right now my coffee i mix it in um but no i like i like your concept there's the old thing that people talk about about it when life gives you lemonades open a lemon and say and sell that crap to other people um isn't that the saying i don't know i forget but i like yours where you're turning into something that uh you know blooms you know well i mean otherwise life is just a struggle in my opinion you know where you just you kind

of get through things and you don't really learn from them nothing really changes you just kind of find yourself fighting the same battles over and over but i feel like when you can really understand you know i feel like you know we're feel like, you know, we're like, like we start one place, but we don't finish in the same place that we started. And that requires our participation really, and us being willing to look at our lives and examine ourselves and be willing to grow. And that's, you know, not everyone has the courage for it. I guess I would say these days, but I think that that's where lasting change really comes from. There you go. And the beauty of what you do is you help work with people, coach them,

and help them get through that process. You teach them how to grow stuff instead of being doomy. I try. I try. And it's a process. Almost if you thought of it like a greenhouse, like you were trying to really grow something, it's a process of pulling out the weeds and out-processing old limiting beliefs that we might have or old ways of being or you know i've a lot of work i do with my clients is around habitual emotions just kind of sliding into these same emotions and i feel like that's really what creates your life so really doing things examining yourself on a granular level can really help things change on the outside ah so if you change on the inside, you change the outside.

I think a lot of people are too busy trying to change the outside first. You know, if I get the new car, if I get that new watch, if I get that new, I don't know, purse, you know, you pick your thing on Amazon or in the fashion stores. I'll feel better about myself. And really, you know, people need to go look in the mirror and go, what the hell is this? Totally, totally.

I mean, in our modern Western world, really we've been conditioned to try to spend all of our energy like clinging and configuring to our circumstances. And we try to spend all of our energy configuring all these forces outside of us to line up just so, so that we can feel good on the inside. And this is actually where the yoga comes in because the yoga says, no, no, no, that's an exercise in futility. You're just going to exhaust yourself because these outer circumstances cannot be

controlled in the way that you think. So instead, let's just surrender that. That's an exercise in futility. Set all of that down, and instead draw your awareness inward. Right. And for me, what I have found in my own transformation and in working with my clients is that, you know, if you want something out there, it's all about, it's what's happening inside of us is a microcosm of what's happening outside of us, and specifically our relationship between our thoughts and our feelings. And so I work with my clients very, very granular, granularly to try to change the way they experience life inside of themselves on a granular level so that they can create the life that they want externally. There you go. Plenty of wisdom in there. What you, what's inside you, you know, you reflect that the outside world,

you know, there's lots of different probably stoic sayings and stuff like that uh i'm curious why did you uh there's a great story i think on why you called your company lotus life coaching uh why did you choose that term well it's modeled after tick not hum hans famous saying no mud no lotus and that's really where i got the premise of everything that i just described to you is that you you know, without the mud, sometimes we cannot grow. And, you know, I've experienced a lot of mud in my life, mostly self-inflicted, but, you know, I was a person that drank alcohol for 20 plus years and really, it really prohibited me. I still had an amazing life, but it really prohibited me from stepping into my brilliance, from stepping into my highest self. And, you know, that's what I've been able to heal for myself is, is take all that energy that I used to,

to use, you know, being spun up in that cycle. And now I get to use it towards my brilliance. And so that's, that's my mud. And I know that not everyone has that same kind of mud, but I think that the theory still applies no No matter what your particular mud is, going inward is almost always the answer I have found. There you go. And I can see how sometimes, you know, in my life I've been, I guess an analogy would be stuck in the mud where I'm stuck in the ways of whatever I'm doing and it's not working or working out the best for me. Or sometimes people are slinging mud at me i get that often usually when i walk down the street um people are like oh my god it's a whatever i don't know there's a joke there uh and uh so you just take that and

you uh say hey what can i grow out of this and it's maybe instead of mucking about in the mud and thrashing around and wondering like why why am I always in the mud? You're like, man, let's plant some seeds and there'll be a field here someday. Maybe. Yeah. That mud is always there to teach us something. You know, like these uncomfortable situations in life. I always ask my clients, like, what is this season of life trying to teach you that no other season of your life can. And almost always, like when we're in the middle of something

and we can teach our brain or show our brain that there's any sort of benefit or any sort of good thing that's gonna happen from this, usually we can navigate it with more ease and we don't lose as much of our steam or our momentum. So it's all about sort of, you know, in our society, we have such, such definitions of what's right and wrong and what's

good and bad. And it's a very human thing to not want to face any of the things that hurt us. That's a very normal human thing. But really, when we understand that there's so much learning and wisdom, and there's so much potency in those, if we're willing to look under the hood in those areas, And that's really what I help people to do. It doesn't have to be scary. It doesn't have to be miserable. It actually gets to be pretty fun. I think actually when you work with me, at least. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my psychiatrist looked under the hood and he's recommended the lobotomy for me. So he's like, we can't contain the six personalities. And the one that says kill, kill, kill the judge

says I can't use that one anymore. But so you went on quite a life journey. Let's talk about this some more. You're dealing with alcohol and all this stuff. And so you're incorporating a lot of what you learned in getting out of your mud and dealing with it. Anything more you want to expand on your origin story? Yeah. Thank you.

A thousand percent. I really thought for so long that like this, that life was just a struggle and that that was just the way it is and that I should just get used to it. And, you know, they say a lot of times, and especially with people dealing with addiction, that once you're an addict, you're always an addict. And I'm not here to poo-poo Alcoholics Anonymous or anything like that. I'm a big proponent that like whatever works is the thing that people should do.

And AA has helped countless people throughout the years. But really, I wasn't interested in focusing on my problems anymore. I wanted to get free from my problems. I didn't want to have to show up someplace and say, hi, I'm Casey, and I'm an alcoholic. That didn't represent true healing to me. At the same time, I came to and I'm an alcoholic. I didn't, that didn't represent true healing to me. Um, at the same time, I came to this place in my life where I was very clear that unless I set down alcohol, I was just going to stay exactly where I was. And I had to decide if I was content

with that. And so I finally, I did this amazing thing where I was able to bring my, my mind into agreement, my unconscious and my conscious mind about what alcohol really is. And I was able to walk away with it. It's basically just a non-issue for me now. I have no cravings. I have no temptations. I have no desire to ever drink. And I get to really be free. And that's what breakthrough means to me. Not that we stop doing something, but we still think about it all the time. and it's still part of how i identify as a person like that doesn't that doesn't work for me like breakthrough to me is when we stop using all of this kinetic energy that's bound up in the physical cycles and the

mental cycles and the emotional cycles and the relational cycles i don't think people realize how much energy they spend rolling around in their own crap. In their own mud, yeah. Really. And so for me, it's like taking all of that as kinetic energy, freeing it from this damaging cycle, and then teaching people how to use that newly found unbundled energy to carry them forward, to get excited, to build something that they're proud of. And almost like 99% of the

time when that happens, they don't even want to drink because life is just so good. And again, it's not necessarily about the drinking, but it's just taking this old energy that's stuck in this old habitual mess, unraveling it and sending it forward. And I got to tell you, that just ignites me more than just about anything there you go and that's where the breakthroughs come from uh you mentioned something about identity and like i remember struggling with that i i never had an alcohol problem where i couldn't drink alcohol but i used it as a crutch and so it was abuse at that point uh but you know i i go get a bottle of tito's the 40 bucks you have to go down

the store you got to make sure you always have some in the fridge you know if it's closing time you got to go get your stupid bottle uh drinking half a bottle almost every night and then of course mixing it with the worst sugar stuff you ever don't even start on that you know um and and and you know alcohol turns pretty much the sugar, I think in your body. And, and, and so drinking that for so long, I think a good 20 years, um, was really just abusing my body. And, and I look at how much, you know, at the end, your body just kind of goes, we're not doing this with you anymore.

We're not having this relationship, but it's kind of your identity. Like people always be like, Hey, Chris Foss, he's the party guy. You go out to events and clubs with him he has a good time and you know you kind of feel like it's your identity and finally i just reached a point where m part of was my body was just like we're not doing this with you anymore we're gonna make it really freaking painful for days to you for you to recover and we're just going to teach you that a couple hours on friday are about three days of hell pain and you know i started listening to my body and eating better and listening but uh yeah

i finally got out of my mud and i was rolling around like a fat pig in that mud you know getting drunk and hung over and finally i'm just like i don't want to do this anymore and like you said my life is so much more productive now i'm not hung over i don't feel dehydrated i'm not feeling bloated with water that my body's trying to compensate uh you know i'm saving like i don't know hundreds of dollars a month in tito bills i don't have to go to the store anymore and buy that shit and deal with all that crap and so yeah the productive nature of my life is better. Now,

the fact that I took a heroin instead of that is the new problem, but that's always a trade off. No, I'm just kidding. Don't do that. Would you say that you've created a new identity or maybe upgraded identity for yourself? Yeah. More healthy.

I'm, I'm kind of vegan ease. You know, there's 5 trillion versions of what veganism is. Uh, and so I'm kind of vegan ease. I eat, there's five trillion versions of what veganism is. And so I'm kind of veganese. I eat a lot of leaf and broccoli and beets and salad and stuff. And, you know, every now and then I go, you know, I eat some meat. And there's some dairy in there.

But for the most part, I eat way better. I used to go through 10 to 15 Mountain Dews a day on top of the vodka. And so, you know, things are improving, you know. Good for you. 10 to 15 Mountain Dews a day on top of the vodka. So, things are improving. Good for you. It sounds like you've made some big upticks. That's really huge. I've tried to plant better in the mud, as you say it.

Yeah. Well, it sounds like your body really gave you a message and that you listened. It did. It was like, we're going to give you extreme pain, dehydration, bloating, and you're just going to feel like shit for three days, four days maybe. And have fun with that, buddy. Just keep going. Yeah. And I was like, you know, this is the payoff isn't there anymore.

And I wish I would have stopped sooner. Yeah, I agree. Some might say that your body maybe gave you a gift by pressing back at you. And it made it very clear because for many people, that decision that you were able to make because your body drew the boundary for you, a lot of people don't have that. And so without that stake in the ground, what happens is their identity as a drinker can overwhelm them because we have so much cultural conditioning that tells us alcohol is everywhere. I mean, it's infiltrated the fitness and the yoga communities. I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I saw vino and vinyasa, I mean, I'd be rich, right? So it's literally, we live in a world that tells us that alcohol belongs everywhere.

And so when you try to detangle yourself, it's not an easy task by any means. That reminded me of that thing you said about the vino thing. That reminded me of one time I was in Vegas and I woke up from a hangover and we've been partying like all night in Vegas. And me and my buddy in his hotel room and his kid was with us. And I got up and I started and he was like ready to go time to party and i made myself a jack and coke and i got up and started doing push-ups on the floor they go what are you doing i'm like i'm trying to get fired up for another day

and then i'm drinking like you know breakfast of jack and coke and my friend is like are you really doing what i think you're doing like you're doing push-ups and and then you're drinking it doesn't compute does it it's vegas uh welcome well yeah there you go uh don't do that people um so how what do you usually find uh you help clients most or what do you find their needs are the most that people come to you that you help them overcome? You know, I think a lot of people are tired. They're tired of facing the same problem in the same way for years and years and years. And so I have a lot of people that are just, they're just ready.

They're ready to try something new. And, you know, coaching is really amazing. And I, you know, I love therapy. I'm in therapy as we speak, I think that every therapeutic modality has its place. And also therapy tends to be really like rear facing and going back into the past to heal things. And coaching is very much like, okay, all of this happened in the past, but how is it showing up for me now? And what do I want to do with it? Right. And so that's really what I get to help people with.

And to your point earlier, there's this kind of saying in coaching that it's not really as much about the how as it is about the who, right? It's like when you adopt the identity of a non-drinker, when you adopt the identity of someone who isn't a perfectionist, when you adopt the identity of someone who doesn't have to people please in order to feel safe, then the behaviors, the how, the answers sort of reveal themselves. So I do a lot of work with people, again, internally about becoming the person who can break through these things. There you go. Is there any specific topics you help people with or just basically whatever they're rolling around the mud with, I guess? Well, I can help anyone with anything, but I help a lot of my clients become alcohol-free or to change their relationship with alcohol. So I would say that that's one of my

best specialties. And also a lot of the things that I just named off to you. So I have people coming to me thinking that they're they married the wrong person. I have people coming to me saying that they can't redefine their relationship with food or their body image. I have people coming to me that are wracked by perfectionism and people pleasing, and they cannot stop allowing that to rule all their decisions in their lives. So, I mean, it can span a lot of different levels, but that's, I really help people unwind these sort of chronic, in yoga, we call them samskaras, these chronic grooves inwardly that we find ourselves in. There you you go and so you help people probably

uh through not only you know there's a lot of stuff that goes into yoga and like there's the chakra and different points and stuff i used to go in for massages because i ran three companies at the same time was losing my mind and if i didn't have my weekly massage my employees would hate me um but uh you know they would they would talk to me about the chakra and all the points across the body and how they make a difference. And, yeah, if you rub my feet just the right way, my eyes are all back on my head. And clearly, you know, my chakra. But you help kind of merge those two where you take the yoga and the body and the mind and the heart and soul and you, you kind of merge it together.

I think when you work with your clients, is that a good analogy? That's a wonderful analogy. Um, and it happens in a lot of different spheres. So, you know, yoga is a tool for processing and we live in a world where we are used to

processing everything above the neck, right? I think that if I had to diagnose us, I think that people are exhausted from trying to think and problem solve. And we're just all living in our minds so much. And what the yoga reminds us is that there's this whole vast world of knowledge that lives below the neck, right? If we can just turn the stinking thinking off long enough to access it. You know, there's actually three brains inside of the body.

There's the skull brain, which we're obsessed with, but there's also the heart brain. And here's a little tip that came out of the HeartMath Institute is that the heart actually sends more information to the brain than the brain ever sends to the heart. Oh, really? The heart is a very powerful organ when it comes to communicating how we are on the inside and who we are. And then the guts, the stomach lining is also considered to be the third brain. You probably already know

this, but the cells that comprise your stomach lining are made from the same types of cells that create the organ of your skull brain. So with that gut feeling, that gut instinct, it's actually very, very real. And we're just not used to listening to the wisdom of our body because we're so obsessed with the wisdom that's in between our ears. So what the yoga allows us to do is shut that off for a little while and let something else take over. There you go. The energy of the healing. the wisdom that's in between our ears. So what the yoga allows us to do is shut that off for a little while and let something else take over. There you go. The energy of the healing. We've had, I think, different surgeons and doctors that have been on and talked about how the gut is so important and it can sometimes cause inflammation in the brain, which causes you to

not be thinking right and all sorts of probably other things, but, uh, um, and how important that is. And they found that by diet and other things, I mean, I certainly perform a lot better as a person and feel more kind of centered as a human being, depending upon your personality. I'm on a course. Um, but, uh, uh, if, you know, if I eat right, you know, I'm not putting the poison toxic, uh, you know, uh, alcohol in the gut, you know, and that's all rotting away in there. God knows it's a wonder I have a gut left after all that. Um, hard vodka. Um, and then food wise too, like, you know, I, I've gotten away from drinking all the pops and eating the McDonald's all the time.

And I said, God, I used to eat out and you think about the crap used to eat. I've gotten away from drinking all the pops and eating the McDonald's all the time. And I used to eat out. And you think about the crap I used to eat. But that makes such a difference in your brain and everything, and the signals. And that heart I hear is pretty cool, too. It keeps you going, I guess, something like that. Well, it sure does. But that gut permeability and gut health is really at the center of everything. And alcohol is one of the biggest destructors or inhibitors. Alcohol contributes to gut permeability.

And that organ is very influential all over the rest of the body. So yoga just gives us this ability to turn this organ off so that the rest can turn on. But I also merge things on the life coaching side of things where I use modalities like hypnotherapy, neuro-linguistic programming. I can use the yogic mudras or pranayama breath exercises, or I'll even prescribe kriyas, which are repetitive movements to my clients that can help them flush through. But I also use what's called EFT or tapping with my clients. And basically there are nine tapping points. And to your earlier point, they correspond to the acupressure points. So basically I can teach my clients to tend to themselves by pressing on these points not needing any needles

so really it's like coaching yoga yoga coaching it all kind of interweaves um can i keep going please do please do this is intriguing the yoga teaches this concept of koshas that there are five koshas that live inside of us, almost like Russian dolls. And they're all different layers of our beingness, like our energy, our wisdom, our body, different sheaths of our existence. And so the way I see it is that when you have something that you want to heal or change, you have to sort of interface with it on all on the levels of all of those sheaths on all the different dimensions of our being. So it's very important to see how addiction is showing up for you in all these layers, or how perfectionism is showing up for you on all these layers so that

you can out program them in all these spheres, and then also do the work to embody the new pathway in all of these ways as well. And that's how I see embodiment and really tractioning this new way of being is making sure that you can clear all the layers and then also inhabit all the layers with the new intention. That's pretty amazing, man. I just learned something new today. This is why we do the show. It's just so I can learn to do stuff. So we're kind of like nesting dolls a little bit. Yeah you go well if i can i get the uh can i get a few of these nesting dolls off me i need to get down to that thin little nesting doll that's the fifth one down or whatever or something well they they all are part of you so we want all of them but i think you're doing

great it sounds like you've made a lot of real positive changes for yourself i want to congratulate you for that. Thank you. Thank you. It depends on which person it is. Some of the mothers still have issues, but yeah. But the frontal lobotomy is going to fix everything. This one's doing great. This one's doing good as long as he stays. Don't change during the show.

Judge says we can't do it anymore. So there you go. You know, this is really important, and I love this, what you're teaching. And I like the concept of the mud. This is going to stick with me forever. Like, you know, I've always heard that analogy, turn lemons into lemonade. But, you know, it doesn't sound any fun. Lemonade, I'm just going to have to pee a lot afterwards.

You know, it's good for your kidneys and livers, I think, lemonade. This is natural. But, you know, it's kind of kind of like you know it doesn't really have the same sort of uh uh clickiness to you know hey if people swing mud a year if you're rolling on your mud i mean i can tell you i've done especially when you look back at your life at 50 you can really see the trail of destruction and your pathways and you know when you're 20 or 25 you're like i don't know this feels fun right now and you 25 you're like i don't know this feels fun right now and you know you're like i don't know everything seems to be cool but man when you turn 50 and i

don't know maybe people in their 40s you look back across your life and you go i was probably rolling around some mud and just enjoying it a little too bit and it wasn't good for me and uh maybe it's time to stop but you're right the identity of that you know people people do all sorts of things with identity smoking alcohol uh you know you name a vice um maybe podcasting is identity i think it is um but it's not a vice i love this anyway um oh the people who come on the show they're wonderful um okay that that's part of your identity it's part of who you are as long as it's healthy right and i'm not getting hung over from podcast and i gotta sleep for three days um i know that's a good podcast when i have to sleep

for three days after um but no i love this concept of the mud and making new growth and turning your mud pits into healthy fields of green and grass and oxygen. And I like the whole imagery of that. Thank you. Thank you. Have you seen a lotus flower lately or a water lily? I probably have, but I'm really bad with flowers. Yeah. The only thing, anytime I've ever held the rose it's i've always felt the thorns that's a

billy joe line lotus flower are they the ones that uh float on the water they're really beautiful they are and they're very sacred um it's a it's the state flower or not the state flower the country flower of india and it's a very sacred omen to the indian people and really if you the way that the lotus flower is structured is that it grows literally in the dankest, grossest, deepest, murkiest, dirtiest, sloppiest mud ever. That sounds like bathwater. Right? But it finds its way out. And then it moves through the water.

And then it just is so radiant and vibrant on top. And I think it's a beautiful metaphor yeah sounds like my life dang dirty messy and then uh it turned into something halfway beautiful we just said something from gq on on earlier show today and uh i was teasing them about hey can i get on the uh man most sexiest man list and they're like you know you might be able to because all the actors are in strike so we don't oh you know we can't interview them or anything and i'm like cool so i might make you know i don't know your shot it's your shot thousand or something maybe i don't know but no

i'm a beautiful flower that has risen from the thing but no i love the these are beautiful i'm looking at them now on the yeah you know and it's a huge sacred flower in hinduism and buddhism which i think isn't that uh isn't that also centered in and it looks like christianity too isn't that also centered with yoga and stuff doesn't yes those are all they all kind of stem from this from the same part of the world from the same seeds most definitely there you go well you know these are the things that have stood with us for eons of time. And sometimes the, what is it? The truth and the knowledge is right there before us.

We just have to go, hey man, quit rolling around your mud, eh? Yoga is an indigenous practice, truly. And so to come back to its roots to me is really coming back to something real that's connected with the earth that's that's enduring i see yoga as technology on being human that that it surpasses religion and that it's truly technology for all of us to understand how how really to be human there you go and uh you talk about one thing this is kind of interesting to me i do something every sunday calleditude Sunday, and it's on my Google calendar to remind me, hey, stupid, have some gratitude. I think that's what it says. And you talk about how gratitude maybe doesn't always work and how to build a blueprint that can get you there authentically.

Can you elaborate a little bit on that, please? Yeah, yeah. I might have to kind of go back a little bit to go forward. But, you know, you were mentioning earlier about identity and how like changing the identity of a drinker and things like that but and that's yes and also it's like it goes even so much more deeply than that of like i think that people are addicted to their own emotions and that they're habitually like that they've been in relationships so long that make them resentful that they just slide into resentment that they've been in relationships so long that make them resentful that they just slide into resentment that they've been disappointed about things so long that their bodies will just slide into disappointment and they don't even know it and so they're walking around just with resentment

and disappointment and all of these things in their bodies and they don't even know it and then they're trying to be happy and slap joy on a system that's saturated with disappointment and resentment, and it just doesn't stick. And so again, I'm looking to free people of the things that are clogging their cells that they don't even know about so they can actually have room for the thing that they want. And that's my take on gratitude. I work with a lot of people that if I tell them to go practice gratitude, they're going to punch me in the face. Well, because a lot of times people are in real pain. People are in real pain. They're suffering. And everyone in the manifestation world is telling them to just, oh, go practice gratitude and it'll get better for you.

And that's really, for these people, it hinders their growth. It makes them feel even worse about themselves. And then they can't access it, access gratitude. And they think, well, now I'm screwed because gratitude is supposedly the pathway out of here and I'm not available for it. And so I have a whole podcast episode

about how that's okay. That makes sense. And if that's where you are, gratitude probably isn't available for you. And it's probably not the thing that you need to be reaching for right now. Right. And so for my coaching, and it would be to try to get to a place that's a little more neutral, and, and a little just more less filled with pain and more filled with sort of blankness so that when you want to reach for the, not blankness, but a neutral expression of what you're thinking so that gratitude doesn't feel like so hot and cold. You got to kind of get warm first to be able to get there. And so I usually try to steer people. I don't, it's kind of a nuanced thing towards appreciation. And for me and the work I've done with my clients is that appreciation really draws you back to the things that you can see and feel and touch and wrap your arms around right now in the moment.

And I, a lot of people that I work with, that's what they need. They just need to feel a little bit of joy right here, right now. And when you can just appreciate your life or appreciate your partner or appreciate your dinner, like a lot of times that appreciation inside of your body will pave the way to gratitude. What do you think about that? I like that. You know, sometimes I, sometimes I had a bad day. Like yesterday there was something that was pissing me off.

You know, there's lots of stupid people in the world. Maybe you might've seen some of them. They're, they're usually on the news every day. Florida too. And always with the Florida man jokes. I'm trying not to laugh over you, but that was too good. Hey, Florida man, Florida man, Florida woman. They're, they're always, They always make the best TikToks.

So, and so, you know, I just, I was just pissed off, Moody. My little puppy dog, she came in and she's like, hey, dad, I need some attention. She gave me that push where she pushes up against my leg here at the office and goes, hey, quit messing with a lot of computer stuff. Hey, come give me a treat and pet me and give me some attention and and i thought you know screw all these people that are pissing me off and screw whatever and this is the most important thing going right now for me let's let's spend some time and appreciate this moment and spend some time with her instead of spending the next hour or something you know getting pissed off about people that i don't really care about and you're like you're like uh oh man so i love that concept let me ask you this you mentioned something that was also interesting it was called emotional addiction

i think you said was that what yeah yeah and i noticed a lot of people like that you know they go from relationship to relationship i've dated all my life uh because you know i never got tired of being happy um and so marriage jokes uh and so a lot of people and especially with you know my friends that get into relationships they meet people that they're they're they they stick with what's their feelings that that are comfortable like you talked about some people have feelings of resentment and they just go from relationship to relationship. They pick the same type of people, the same scenarios they set up and,

and they're just constantly either disappointed. They sabotage, you know, the relationship to make sure they feel that resentment. And they're like you say, they're addicted to that feeling because it's comfortable kind of in a sick sort of weird way. Well, it's just all that

they know and so the thing that people don't know about their brains and their bodies is that these this vessel is not designed for you to go kick butt it's not designed for you to transcend it's not designed like if left to your own devices everything inside of us is meant to keep us safe. Right. And that just means that like most of us are creating our future based upon our experience of the past. Oh, and a lot of people get that imprint from parents.

What's that? A lot of people get that imprint from parents and stuff, how they're raised. Totally. And most people never stop to question it so all this thread this generational thread just keeps getting carried through this this habitual thread of relationship after relationship just gets kept keeps getting carried through you know the subconscious mind every time every every morning when you wake up all it does is it just

takes the last thought that you felt the night the night before and it just keeps going. Right. And unless we unless we interrupt that unless and that's why mindfulness practices, that's why morning routines are so hot. You know, and why they make sense is because however we can interrupt that cycle and say, OK, what are my intentions? This is where my life is heading, but I want it to head this way. So where are my opportunities in my calendar as I look at it today to be this person? As I look at my calendar, where am I going to get tripped up?

How can I see that right now so that I can be ready for it, you know, so that I can hold my own intention? But we're not doing that. We just are in survival mode. People just wake up, feet hit the floor, and we're just carrying on the same narrative as yesterday, as five years ago, as 10 years ago. And that's why I have a job.

There you go. You know, to use your analogy once again, it really makes sense because if you're just rolling around the mud, sure, you're in the mud, but it's kind of warm and comfortable after a while. You know, you've been there and, you know, you know you're kind of like hey it's the same old mud but i like your idea of looking to the future and giving forethought to like hey maybe there's a field over there maybe we should uh maybe we should go over there instead of rolling around this mud eh and then we can run through the fields and be happy and there's daisies and stuff over there. You know, so I love that analogy and how that keeps coming back to the original premise. We talked about the show. Totally.

It's very simple, but it's not always easy because it requires you to keep an eye on the prize while you're also letting go. Like there's reasons that people can't just snap their fingers and say, I was there and I'm here. There's reasons that people find it hard to say, okay, this is what I'm doing now. And so it's like, you have to keep your eye on where you're headed, but there's also this deprogramming that has to occur. The weeding of the ecosystem, the releasing of old limiting beliefs, the releasing of the

resentment and the disappointment inside of your mind and your body. You know, the subconscious is very, very interesting. The subconscious stores all of our memories, not chronologically, but in bundles according to how they made us feel. So each of us is running around with a bundle of resentment or disappointment or fear or love. I mean, they're good bundles too. But I share that because that's what getting triggered is, or that's what getting activated is, is something happens to you today that pulls on this historic bundle and brings up all these feelings that feel similar

to what you're experiencing in the moment. So what I get to do with my clients is repackage and reprocess those bundles so that you're actually free to frolic in the field, right? That you're actually free to interpret your life in a new way going forward. And that takes some subconscious work. There you go. I love how you put that. That makes so much sense in why people get triggered

and how they're dealing with everything. I can see how you help so many people with what you do and the work you do. What's the best way people that are interested in working with you and finding out more about you, how can they reach out to you and explore if you're the right fit for them and you can help them? Yeah. Going to my website, life coaching by lotus.com life coaching by lotus.com. And right there, you can book a free call with me and we can just get this process started and understanding like what weeds are presenting themselves in, in your life and understanding how to excavate them and create more of what

you seek. There you go. I see like a YouTube commercial for you where like, are you tired of rolling around in the mud? There's a person rolling around. What? You too can get a, you know, it's like an infomercial sort of set up. I love that.

Thanks for the idea. I think it would. I really love this analogy. Like I'm going to throw away the lemons, lemonade crap. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah. You know, besides, I mean, who would give away lemons? They're pretty damn expensive, but mud's free.

So there you go. Give us a plug for your wonderful podcast and your Patreon as well. And now tell us a little bit about the Patreon and the community, correct? Yeah. So life coaching is an investment. Usually I see my clients for six months. Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less. But I really like to work with people one-on-one for, you know, all the stuff that we're talking about are these historic patterns and it takes a while to unwind those and then to

really integrate the new behaviors so that they're lasting. So I love one-on-one and also it's not always like the best time or the right step for people as they're on their journey. So I'd hate to only have just one way for people to work with me. So for just $5 a month, people can subscribe to my Patreon account. And like I said, I like to put in their tools for the journey that you'll actually use. So for example, right now I'm moving through the chakras. Each month is a different exploration of the different chakras and there's tapping videos, live yoga classes, hypnotherapy, mudra lessons for people to supplement their own growth and journey with these resources as they walk along just in a little more accessible price point and capacity.

There you go. And I noticed one of the things you have in your Patreon. I think this is one of the videos or preview videos. You talk about live morning rituals for flow. And I'll give some plugs to this. I started a thing recently where, you know, when I would get up in the morning, I'd come to my computer. And, of course, you know, the phone's on fire with, you know, when I would get up in the morning, I come to my computer, and of course,

you know, the phone's on fire with, you know, whatever's on the latest news, and, you know, earth, wind, fire, disaster, all that sort of stuff, and then, of course, you know, there's emails, and somebody's got to have something that they needed five hours ago that they didn't ask for until five minutes ago, so there you go you're you know you're like hey the place is burning out we gotta get this email or whatever you know and so and then you know you've got all i mean there's all sorts of stuff that comes at us if you're like me who has like 50 000 browsers open at any given time and uh we only keep 50 000 open though because 51 000 is illegal in most states um so uh um so i started doing this thing because i just felt assaulted when i would wake up in the morning like it's just like i turn on two computers here i got my phone over here it's just like all out of salt on chris fuss and i'm just i'm just like

uh i don't know what's a good analogy like like you remember star wars when they're in the the original star wars and they're in the millennium falcon they're trying to shoot all the things you know the tie fighters are coming that's kind of how that felt you're like just being thrown and uh that's fridays at my house um but uh so i i i was like you know this is i i'm just i just feel like i'm just sucked into this hell. And I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to do this anymore. And so I started studying stoicism and I keep a side of the book here. I keep a Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and different things, Emerson.

And I said, you know what I'm going to do? Cause there's this thing with testosterone. And when we get to my age, testosterone is a real big deal. Cause you don't have any left. And you're just like trying to eke out whatever's left in the tank without going and getting shots which don't sound fun at all i'm not i'm against shots of any kind uh and so uh i was like you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna go out sit in the sun and get my natural vitamin d for 10 to 20 minutes uh a day and'm going to sit in the yard with my dogs and they love it when i go in the yard you know they're huskies they're running around yeah that's how

you're playing with this and then i'm going to sit and i'm quietly read you know something for meditations with marcus reyes or seneca or uh any way the other stoicism things uh books that i have here and i'm just going to do that first and then i'm going to come in and I'm going to sit down at my command center. And before I even open any crap and all that stuff, I'm going to play some piano music. And I realize George Winston, for some reason, just puts me in a nice, calm mood. It's like a placebo sort of thing where you're just like, ugh.

And so I play that and then I'll fire up my computers. And I really feel like I'm in command. sort of thing where you're just like and so i play that and then i'll fire my computers and i really feel like i'm in command like i have a command center here and i'm in command of everything and instead of life coming at me going ah here's all the crap you know i got arrows and spears and everything coming yeah i feel like i'm like you know what i'm greeting the world on my terms and I'm in control of all of this here. And I'm going to deal with you as I please from my throne, as opposed to, you know,

I'm just like dodging things left and right. So I don't know if that plays into what you talk about on your Patreon there about the morning ritual, but you probably have something that's a little more peaceful than mine. Well, I mean, it's not a comparison but what i'm what i'm hearing you say is that by doing that you're protecting your life force you're setting your own internal state and you're being at cause in your own life rather than being at effect in your own life. So well done.

I like that. And I call it my, I call it a frame. So I established frame. It's kind of like an alpha frame, but I established frame and everything greets me. But I love how you have this live morning ritual for flow that you talk about, which is probably along the same lines of,

of getting into, you know, not like not becoming overwhelmed by all the craziness that can come at you in the morning. Totally. There you go. So it's been wonderful having the show. This has been really insightful, Casey. I've learned a lot of wonderful stuff.

And before the show, when I did the research and looked up all the yoga jokes that were out there, oh, boy, that was a wonderful wormhole to go down. I had a lot of fun with that. So thank you very much. I love jokes. So thank you very much for coming to the show. Give us your.com one more time so we can find

you on the interwebs. LifeCoachingByLotus.com There you go. Thanks for tuning in to my audience. Go to Goodreads.com, Fortress Christmas, LinkedIn.com, Fortress Christmas, YouTube.com, Fortress Christmas. Some of those crazy places on the internet that we're trying to be

cool on, but we're too old for it like tiktok thanks for tuning in be good to each other stay safe and quit rolling out of the mud damn it get out of the mud thanks for tuning in we'll see you next time