The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Life Coach Mike Bayer – One Decision: The First Step to a Better Life Book

Episode Date: January 9, 2021

One Decision: The First Step to a Better Life by Mike Bayer From Dr. Phil show regular and author of the New York Times bestselling Best Self: Be You, Only Better, a plan for taking immediate steps to improving your life Foreword by Dr. Phil McGraw It is estimated that we make 35,000 decisions every day. Right now, at least one decision we make will have a powerful ripple effect across all aspects of our life. But One Decision isn't about taking one overwhelming big step; it's about starting with a single, important choice we can make every day: the decision to be authentic. To be you, and to do so without doubt, second-guessing, without worry or anxiety. It is the decision to know who you are, to be who you are, and express yourself authentically. Whether you find yourself up against a new challenge, deciding on a change in direction, or in need of a total reinvention, Coach Mike has created a powerful blueprint to help you connect with your authenticity and adjust your thinking so that your life reflects who you truly are. With the tools in this book, you will be able to transform what you've previously seen as obstacles in your life into new opportunities. He shows you how to stop constantly over-thinking the "big" decisions, or simply choosing not to choose, so you can reconnect with your gut instincts and make all of your decisions with confidence and peace of mind. And, this book helps you navigate the forces that routinely drive your decision making, ensuring that you're motivated by facts instead of fears, clarity over confusion, and evidence over emotion. One Decision is an inspiring and practical action plan to help you improve your life, find your purpose, improve your mental health and relationships, work on your physical health, and even make more money. Drawing on twenty years of experience helping individuals from all walks of life make real and lasting change, Coach Mike has a refreshing approach for motivating you to take a risk, be bold, and take real action toward a better life. About Mike Bayer Mike Bayer, known as Coach Mike, is founder and CEO of CAST Centers, the go-to clinic for artists, athletes, executives, and anyone who wants to live more authentically, successfully, and joyfully. Bayer is a Life Coach whose mission is to help people achieve their goals to become their best selves. Mike is also the creator of the CAST Foundation, which raises awareness to promote cultural and social changes that destigmatize men­tal health issues. In addition, Bayer is a member of Dr. Phil McGraw's advisory board and makes frequent appearances on the Dr. Phil Show as Coach Mike.

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Hey, we're coming here with another great podcast. Oh, my God. Another one? Just like I've been saying for a while now to bug you, to go listen to the 700 podcasts we put up, a huge year we had last year. Go listen to all those podcasts and decide what you want to do for the future and all that good stuff. But, yes, another podcast.

Who knew it was coming? And I guarantee you there's going to be more this year as well, according to our schedule. So check that out. Anyway, guys, we have a wonderful guest on the show. We'll get to here in a second. But in the meantime, if you want to watch the video version of this, there's a free service that we have right now that you can subscribe to. And it's for an unlimited time. So you want to just reach out and grab this way you can you go to y-o-u-t-u-b-e.com that's youtube.com forward slash chris voss you

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We have some big groups over there as well for The Chris Voss Show. Today, I have a most brilliant author. We only get the most brilliant authors on. We look them up on the Google machine, brilliant authors, and then we invite them, and they come on the show, and they tell us how to make our lives better, our world better, or sometimes they don't. I don't know. Maybe, I don't know. I can't think of a guest that did that. And this episode is brought to you by IFI Audio and their new Neo IDSD. The Neo is the new wave of digital sound listening for your desktop, music, gaming, and bleeding-edge Bluetooth, even MQA audio file decoding. We're using it in the studio right now.

I've loved my experience with it so far. It just makes everything sound so much more richer and better and takes things to the next level. IFI Audio is an award-winning audio tech company with one aim in mind, to improve your music enjoyment of quality sound eradicate noise distortion and hiss from your listening experience check out their new incredible lineup of dax and audio enhancement devices at ifi-audio.com anyway guys uh the author that we have on the show today he's the author of the brilliant new hot book that you can take an order up. It's called One Decision, The First Step to a Better Life by Mike Bayer. Mike, I'll give you a rundown on some of his background. He's known as Coach Mike to the thousands of clients

whose lives he has changed. He's a New York bestselling, or I'm sorry, New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, son of their speaker and founder and CEO of Cast Centers. It's the go-to clinic for artists, athletes, executives, celebrities, and anyone who wants to live more authentically. Man, I definitely need to go back to public school and get my learning grammar. So he does that. He's the host of Stage 9 Productions Always Evolving with Coach Mike Bayer Podcast and writes a rare column in Psychology Today. He is also an expert contributor and regular on a daytime television's number one rated show, Dr. Phil.

Mike lives in Los Angeles, California, and we should welcome him to the show right now. Mike, how are you, sir? Hey, Chris. Good. You give quite an intro. I tried to. I kind of fumbled there on often often authentically yeah you fumbled authentically on the word authenticity yeah it's all good there's some irony there isn't there so welcome the show uh and congratulations the launch of your uh new book and stuff uh it just came out from my understanding it did it just uh came out about a week ago there you go so give us your plugs to where people can order that book up and find out more about you on the interwebs yeah so i mean

everything i have is coach mike bayer.com so my social media youtube uh if they want to buy the book it's you know available at target Walmart, anywhere books are sold. And then I also offer a lot of free stuff that has no upsells, no upselling. Unlike my YouTube style? Well, I mean, that's like low-grade, right? It's pennies. You're not even buying a cup of coffee with that. So it's like – This just in.

Coach Mike says YouTube is low- and i and i agree with him so yeah i mean coachmikebear.com is where you get all the info on everything i do there you go there you go check it out guys read up about stuff he's got a really cool podcast this morning and he's got a beautiful website and how to make your life better but uh let's talk some more about this book that people want to take in order. What motivated you to want to write this book? Well, I wrote my first book two years ago, and I had no intention of ever writing a book. I never had a dream, a vision, a goal.

I never had a goal of being more of a public figure. I've been a behind-the-scenes guy for years. I've been in mental health over 18 years, ex-drug addict. I own a treatment center, worked a lot in crises with people who are depressed or really psychiatric disorders and conditions, suicidal ideation, traveled the world helping people. And then I started thinking I wanted to reinvent my life which I do every couple of years like we all do I was like you know I want to do something different at the time I was traveling with a lot of entertainers for years and um you know from Africa to Malaysia and Australia all over the place And then I took a trip to Iraq, like anyone would do

who's trying to find themselves, which they wouldn't. But that's just somehow where I ended up. And I became really passionate about helping Yazidi women. And I started going to Kurdistan, Iraq alone. Wow. And I thought, because i had worked with all these you know prominent people and uh everyone loved mike right like you saved my life that like somehow i could rally everyone to get behind the cause that i was really behind and then i quickly realized that publicists don't find Iraq very attractive. It's much better. Children's hospitals, stuff in the United States. There's also a ton of difficulties with trying to help people in other countries. And overall, humans and people, I mean, it's hard enough to get people to help other people.

You know, everyone will even talk the state of of affairs but it's like no one really helps anyone else they just kind of bitch and then then when you try to get people to help people who don't even speak your same language they it's just it's it's foreign so i realized i was like you know what i need to become the brand i'm gonna become the guy i'd never had that thought before because i never saw a reason to become that guy. And whether you believe in law of attraction or whatever for, I threw this charity event and that's where I met Dr. Phil.

That was two and a half years ago. And he asked me to go on an episode three days later, I went on an episode. It's the number one rated daytime television show it has a huge following i've done you know i'm on today's episode i was on tuesday's episode and they call me coach mike and dr phil was the one who said coach mike you need to write a book and i'm someone who was held back twice in school who didn't do well even when they tried and so I said with everything with him I said yes but in the back of my head I was like oh no

I want to write a book like and I always had this idea that like people who like are writing books a lot they just have a degree of narcissism that annoys me and um like they think they're so important because they've written books and like you know we all have stories but i like i realized and that by writing books i could help more people i could do better and bigger things in the world that i want to do and And I'm pretty good at it. You know, I think there's a reason I was sought after. It's not because I'm like, you know, I've worked with people who I think are way more higher functioning than me, but I've helped them make a lot of money or I've helped them live in their art. And so like the first book was called best self and it

was made New York times a bunch and 20 languages and this next book is called One Decision and the reason I I get pretty hardcore into what I create whatever it is is I just started thinking I'm like you know like why is it that people can't change the thing in their life that has been lingering and annoying and frustrating like why why can't they change it like why does the person not lose weight if what they want to do is to lose weight yeah my problem is the divorce lawyer yeah no what'm just what's that my promise i haven't hired the divorce no i'm just kidding but you know like the thing is my background is dealing with really heavy issues and so helping other people make changes that aren't that drastic is really easy and so the philosophy behind one decision is we're all just one decision away.

And what is that decision someone could make today? And I help them do that. And so it's kind of a long story about me, summed up quickly even, but I just thought I'd give you a little background on, you know, who you're talking to. There you go. There you go. We have the life history of Mike Behr or coach mike i should say here so uh did that include like an overview of the book

and the details in it or do you want should we get into that that would be next question we can i mean whatever you want you know what i mean like well i was gonna ask for dirt on my on dr phil but that might be a career ender so i don't know now you can ask me anything no i mean i'm i'm kidding let's let's move some books i like dr phil yeah so um yeah so i one decision is all about uh how do you look at life you know how do you look at a problem um whatever the problem is i mean i could help you right now if you want, and we could go through the material. You probably look at me and be like,

first you need to shave that goatee down because it's a fucking shitshow mess. No, I think the goatee gives you really good, healthy bear vibes, you know? Yeah, I have some bear friends, and I get that from them on Facebook every now and then. They're wonderful friends. But no, this is more the COVID.

I haven't had a haircut since March by a professional person, so I'm just a mess that way. I think you look great. Oh, well, thank you very much. Thank you very much. I think people need to go on YouTube and see everything and every shade and see when the every shade and see when the hair is growing out long and short and everything else so that's what people need to do

and they need to get that advertising money going through the other the 995 which is we do make a you know a couple bucks off that so you you tell people that major decision that they need to do to flick the switch is that correct yeah i understand that right yeah one decision because we all have that thing like we just got done you probably helping a lot of people right now because you know we just got past that era we're still kind of in it seven days i think uh where everyone's making new year's resolutions and they want to right you know they want to make that one decision like you talk about your book where they're like you know whatever they want to do but the problem is sometimes they just never do it right yeah or they don't what i find is they

don't know what to do and whenever there's a problem and that's why it's helpful to be guided or to work with someone is we all have blind spots so for example I want more to be more emotionally regulated today. I've made a decision that I want more peace today. Now, I can make a decision to have more peace today, but I need to take some action. Otherwise, just sitting around on the sofa hoping that this word peace is going to go through my ears and into my brain. So, you know, like I did a 10 minute meditation with some lady who had a really soft voice that I found on a 10, 10% happier app. And, you know, it's like, you have to do, you have to take action. So the one decision is about taking actions with purpose. And what I do is I help people figure out what is that real decision that you can make today.

And then obviously there's a lot of other decisions that need to take place in order to accomplish that. So everyone's different. I write from a place of everyone authentically has their own thing that they'd like to improve. I mean, life's always evolving so uh when we don't evolve with it whether we're aging or what have you eventually life catches up and it really sucks yeah so might as well like incorporate like a little bit of personal growth like i don't even know how people function without incorporating it i'm like how do you guys are you just ride this life thing you just ride it right in the ground you just you

just ride it yeah i see some people that do that man they're still driving the 70s van down by the river and they're just doing it man they're just gonna die from whatever they went through in their childhood i guess or something yeah or blade die blaming someone while they're just gonna die from whatever they went through in their childhood i guess or something yeah or blade die blaming someone while they're driving through that's the most convenient thing about blaming someone else is there's no responsibility or self-actualization right yeah and it's and it's a mentality i mean like yeah like i said like i went to kurdistan where women's husbands were lined up and shot in front of them and daughters traded for sex slaves and out to Syria. And then, you know, I have a hard time sometimes having compassion for some of the things that people feel victim to today.

Like I just and based upon my experience. So like I'm not I'm not for everyone for sure. But I do believe I love the person that i love and that i speak to in the book is the person that's alone the person that's gone through covid like they're like depressed they have some anxiety they feel lost you know they just don't they're sick and tired of even how they're looking at their life like that's my guy or gal like i love someone that's like i get to get gritty with them you know it's the people that maybe need to you know figure out if they need a macro nutrient

diet uh those aren't really my people my feeling in life why i don't have a i don't have a good going on yeah like no but everyone has their thing right like i've come to realize like i love like like i'm an ex meth addict right so i love addicts i'm like i'm like where are my addicts at and whenever i speak at corporate events i'm always like so you know i do a relatability thing and i'll often be like and i'm an ex meth addict throw up your hand if you also were addicted to meth and like no one raises their hand but i find it so funny you know like because it looks like i'm just like out there alone you know you should do a thing where you you you trick him where you say uh everyone stand up and then they stand up who hasn't done who has

who hasn't done meth or is doing meth and, you know, you've caught them all standing up and you should just pull that. That's a good one, too. I don't know. But then maybe I don't know. Everyone would get fired. Drug test the next day by whatever employer. Yes, true. That might backfire.

So what are some other chapters or aspects of the book that are in there? Yes. I mean, we talk about are you a victim are you a victor in your life and um i like that that that victor victim victor uh yeah because it's it really is a mentality like and it's a mentality when we blame our old boss still today who hasn't been our boss for three months we're being a victim we have a mentality of being the victim now we can keep creating that narrative or it's like when people are like i'm not smart enough or i'm just not gonna it's all the stuff that keeps us from growing and pushing us i feel like everyone i believe everyone's an artist. You just got to

keep going with it. No one's perfect. And so I really want to help people realize and have insight, like you said, self-actualization into like, all right, I'm being a little victim mentality. Right. And, and then, you know, I also talk about a force that drives us. What I find is there's a reason why people can't achieve their goals. I created what's called like, I love an acronym. It's just easier to remember. But there's a negative force and there's a positive force. So any problem that we have, the reason we don't have it,

the negative force is when the F is fortune telling. O is overgeneralizing. The R is rigidity or right fighting uh c is confused purpose and e is emotional reasoning or like you know well i feel this way therefore it's a fact all that shit i don't know sorry for saying the word like all that stuff is like garbage in terms of like helping ourselves and then on the other side are the hacks so the opposite of fortune telling is fact finding over generalizing subjective thinking right fighting it's relaxed thinking confused purpose it's clarifying your purpose and

emotional reasoning it's evidence-based reasoning. So I think when we get out of, when we can look at the facts and in a really clear way, I find that's so helpful for people I work with because they're like, oh yeah, that's right. I can do this. Yeah, I am capable. Like I do have the ability to change this, you know? So that's a big thing I get into is just like,

how are you looking at life and helping people analyze their team? Like who is on your team to help you make decisions? You know, sometimes it's really eyeopening that someone keeps, they don't realize that going to mom about parenting, even though they keep fighting with mom and looking for approval, may not be the person you should talk to about parenting. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's a counselor. So I help people kind of analyze. I think assessments are really helpful. And then I just, by the end of it, it's like, all right, we're very clear on this uh, this one area of

your life. You're motivated. You say you want to do it now let's get an action plan around it. So, um, that's kind of the, uh, some it's where the way I write, it's like, there's exercises, you're underlining, you're highlighting, you're writing. It's a very interactive, uh, as if I'm, if I talked to someone through one decision as if i'm working with them as a client oh well there you go yeah that's pretty helpful i mean this is a great book and great that we had you on early in the year because like people are still doing this you know like i'm even doing like what are we doing this year we've made some new agendas for guests and different things going on on the show yeah and uh everyone's kind of using

this as a reset point especially it's how bad 2020 is yeah uh you know everyone's like okay we definitely want to move on to some different places but i like how you approach it where it's almost like hiring you as a as a coach and and they can spend the time work through the exercises with you yeah i think that's i think otherwise you're writing a book like a movie and you can inspire people but if they're not able to change it's just you know doesn't i don't know how helpful i'm being that's my theory of my style but not to say it doesn't work like there's books that sell way more than me that are all about inspiring, you know, other people. It's just, that's kind of like my, um, for now my, what I'm into is workbook style, almost like working with someone in a very inexpensive way, um, without upselling.

Yeah. And one of the things you talk about in your book is, uh, giving creative guidance for discovering a path back to people in a moment when they're lost and connected. Do you feel a lot of people have to hit a bottom before they finally hire a coach and they finally have to hit that wall where they're like, I should fucking there's two things that motivate people. It's consequences and pain. So those are the greatest motivators. Like, oh my gosh, I went to the doctor and the doctor's telling me I need to do this or other that's, you know, or pain. Like I'm so sick and tired and I'm insufferable. I can't stand being in my body. Like I hate it.

So if you have a combination of the two, that's highly motivating. But the bottom can always go lower. I mean, I always try to raise people's bottoms, try to get them, you know. But you're right. you know they uh it's it's challenging for people sometimes to uh uh really put attention towards something that they just don't want to do yeah yeah like one of my favorite sayings from dennis miller is no one finds christ on prom night it's only until they fucked everybody over in this world and no one else will talk to them and they find themselves in prison and yeah suddenly they find jesus like jesus is talking to me now well no one else will yeah yeah

no one exactly i love that yeah i so i love that analogy you know anytime i hear something you know i just go yeah yeah no one finds christ on prom night this is this is the way it works but it is interesting to me what you say because i've always wondered that. I'm like, does most people really have to hit that point? There were some points years ago where I felt so awful and I just reached a point where I started losing weight and eating vegan and giving up vodka and Mountain Dew that I was drinking. But it took, you know, for years my friends would be like, hey, you just lose weight. Do you remember the moment? Yeah. I don't know about the exact moment, but it was like a whole week of it that I was just bloated.

I'm almost one step away from a heart attack, and I'm so sick of me. But what was the moment when you were like, I'm going to decide. I'm making a decision. This enough's enough. What was the moment? I remember sitting in front of the TV, tv and i was gaming and i just felt so fucking sick of everything and me and felt awful uh and i said fuck it i'm just gonna change i'm just gonna go be fucking vegan and uh i thought somehow i could still be vegan and drink mountain dews and that would be fine. I love my Coke Zeros. Yeah.

Mountain Dews, those are next. Mountain Dews like the sweet cake factory of sodas. Oh, yeah. And I was like, well, I'm just going to cut my eating back, but I'll keep my Mountain Dew. Like I didn't understand the math at all. I was just like, I'm sick of me. And after a month of that and like nothing's happening, I'm like, what the fuck? And they're like, my friends are like, you're an idiot.

You need to dump the Mountain Dew. And I'm like, oh, shit, can I keep the vodka? And they're like, no, no, man, you got to get rid of all that sugary shit that your body turns into sugar. What I didn't know at the time was I was doing intermittent fasting. And we've had the one fasting gentleman on a couple times. He's written the books. But I didn't realize I was doing intermittent fasting, but I went full vegan, and then I got this water machine that was a real nice reverse osmosis, and so I started doing that.

But, yeah, it was kind of like people just have to hit their bottom because when you meet people, they were just like me. They were like, hey, you should lose weight. I'm like, yeah, I'll get to that next week uh sure right thanks thanks for telling me something i don't like people do that on my youtube channel they'll like write me you're fat and i'm like wow man i had no idea until your dumb ass came along and told me that thanks man wow just just the fact that you had the clairvoyance yeah i but i think too um it's uh what happens for some people is they think because it people become very black and white with like it worked or didn't work

like and that's where i think even with weight loss is one of those things where like even in your situation it's, you clearly can do it. You clearly have done it. You're clearly not like, I don't know. You're like, as I used to be, you can say that according to you, like, I don't know what your background is, but like the truth is, it's like, but like you said, it's really helpful when you have other people who you're talking to about it.

So you're not going about it alone. I think the danger is for people who will not reach out for help, will not talk to others about it, uh, for whatever reason, like it is so hard to change alone. It's just so hard. So I think like, you know, and it's definitely not helpful when you have losers going on YouTube being, you know, those are just haters. I really didn't know what haters were until the last six months.

Like I didn't even know. I was like, oh, I heard the term. I heard the term and I knew people were trolling. Yeah. But I didn't, i didn't realize um i didn't understand the personality of a hater yeah now i feel like i know like oh wow they're really jealous or envious or like i didn't get it before i was just like they're a loser like yeah they're in their mom's basement just hating on everybody,

probably incels too, all that good stuff. Oh, you know what I do know? One of the things that inspired me to finally break was Jen Plett's, Penn Jillette's book where he lost like 100 pounds. And he had hit a wall because he went into his doctor, and his doctor was like, we either have heart surgery on you or you're going to lose weight. You've got to get your shit together, man. Or you're never going to see your kids grow up. And that was his, that was his bottom moment where, where it was like, wake up and quit fucking up. And so reading his book, he inspired me. And there was, there

were some different ways that he applied, uh, changing the paradigms. Like you mentioned earlier, the paradigms of of of how i was thinking about things and and and addressing things and like rules that i had like always finish everything on your plate because my parents taught me that yeah i mean you got to relearn uh a whole new set of i mean do you care about your weight now i do i do care about my weight not but not as much as i should what do you mean why should you clearly clearly i'm still overweight so there's clearly i don't know i don't well i'm six five 275 pounds well i'm a big boy i'm six and 330 so i got 50 on you but you really inches taller yeah yeah wow you're 330 pounds yeah if i sit like

an angle like this it looks like i'm thinner i just realized that so you know i it found a bottom one thing that was interesting to me about you too was you you run uh the dare i think it is or i'm sorry cast the cast centers centers, which helps people with addiction. And by the way, if you ever did want to put attention to it, you could always come on my podcast. I'd coach you for an hour. Oh, there you go. If you ever want to, it's open to you.

You can come on mine, free, and I'd help you out. There you go. I lost a lot of weight. I was losing three to four pounds per day because i went on pretty minute it was intermittent fasting it wasn't the veganism but i i did go full vegan and i did build a community i went into vegan communities and learned how to eat and what i didn't realize was though is i was intermittent fasting and uh and so i lost a lot of weight and then uh somewhere i lost almost 75 pounds within three months wow and i was just intermittent fasting really but the

veganism helped but the consumption did as well but my dog uh had had developed uh cancer and uh we struggled with it for about a year and a half in hospice care and took care of her. And then, uh, and then she passed. And I kind of gave a little less shit and put on some weight after that and kind of where I'm at now. But, uh, so I probably still got to fix whatever that is, or I don't know this, this whole year has been so depressing. So there's, well listen a solution in the rise in the clouds. can come on my podcast always evolving and do a coaching session

i get i could i'll help you out all right all right so if you want you don't have to by the way this happens with me all the time when i go on shows i literally like just start getting into well i find look i it's uh there's no shame in any of it, and if you ever want to do it, I'll help you out. Let's do it. Let's do it. We can trade shows. There you go.

Yeah, that's a trade. First trade I've ever done. A question I had for you on the cast centers. One thing I'd heard, and I wanted to get validation of this, is a lot of people that struggle with addiction and drugs and everything else or whatever their addictive habit is, many of them, a large percentage of them, suffer sexual trauma as a child.

Is that an accurate statement or accurate figure of data that I was given? Well, I mean, people who have gone through what we call big T traumas, there's like little traumas and then kind of big T, have a higher rate of substance abuse, chemical dependency, impulsive behaviors. Their coping skills at a young age weren't developing. So it would make sense that then they start and with food i mean that's like it's common with anything where somebody feels um uh lacks impulse control so um it's it's uh it's it's high amongst different demographics too right like so um you know gay men are have a higher rate of addiction than men who aren't gay or and you know uh so there's there's all those categories of um you know when somebody's struggled with certain stuff it's always a bit higher i i had heard that somewhere it was a high

percentage of people that struggle with addiction i used to watch a few rehab shows with dr drew he's watched that show back in the day and uh it was interesting to me to watch you know people going through struggle i've had friends that have gone through struggle with addiction i've never gone through addiction or had an addictive personality but there are times where i've abused alcohol um in my life probably good 10 years or so uh but i had a good time so there was that uh but i don't know that was good for me my body over the long term but i i'd heard that and i was always kind of curious about it i've had some people on that you know we've talked about uh addiction and and uh some of them were in the field of law where they were dealing with uh the new sort of addiction courts where they were trying not to you know just imprison people like you know fix the problem of addiction and and different things instead of

yeah it's a huge addiction in general um so we'll do straight mental health uh like clinically depressed um and we're outpatient So we have like partial hospitalization programs. I can tell you since COVID hit, our relapses are twice as high. I'm sure. Um, and then we have in-person versus, excuse me, all online. It's a great excuse for people not to come in, even though we're in essential business. And I mean, these people haven't left their house anyways in six months, some of them. Right. and I mean, these people haven't left their house anyways in six months, some of them, right? And so we found that completion rate has gone way down since we went, you know, with the people who went online. There's a huge push in culture where there's this belief that, like, telehealth is the future.

It's not. I'm sure they're going to put a lot of money behind it with some data suggesting that uh you know telehealth but like i like we were talking about before when you don't have a community and you're trying to change and you're not grabbing a coffee with someone and talking about your tough day or you're not meeting with someone in person it's not the same you know it's just like if we were in the same room right now, I'd be feeling your energy. You'd be feeling my energy, right? All the little social cues we would feed off of each other, right?

So the same thing happens when you're wanting to make a big change in your life. And right now, we hired people from Pepperdine to do research because we're trying to convince the clients that they need to show up to have a higher success rate because they're thinking, I just can sit on the sofa and, you know, check in. Yeah. Well, I've even done things like back in the day when I was a little hungover, I could get on calls. Usually I'd be like, ah, the webcam's not working today, so we'll just do this consulting on audio today.

And, you know, I was clearly hungover and looked like i was hit by a bus much you know not much different than today but you know i imagine if you're trying to hide from your your therapist that uh maybe you've relapsed or something there might be some you know it's a little hard for them to pick that up maybe i don't know yeah no yeah sure. Any of it's hard. And it's also some staff believe it should be in person. Some staff don't. There's a whole other with employees. And everyone right now, because of social media, is an expert.

Right? And so everyone listens to different experts. So you're just trying to go okay we're going to follow this guideline but you know hopefully we're pulling out of it and uh um at least where i work we haven't been able to get the vaccine yet for like you know the therapist it's the interesting thing is i know some people at other institutions where it's completely online and everyone got the vaccine so i just i'm not a little bitter i'm very bitter i can anyways yeah the bitterness you want to have a coaching session

on that uh oh trust me i'm no better than anyone at all i went on dennis miller's podcast and he goes first line he said to me he's like so why are you the guy who's worked with like he named off a bunch of people and i was like i have no idea and he was like we're gonna get along great i was like all right cool because i don't know you know huh did you say dennis miller's podcast yeah the comedian yeah he's got one yeah wow i should look that up that's the reference i made no one finds christ on prom night that is from his uh stand-up bit that's what you're telling yeah i figured yeah that's a reference to his joke in fact what's funny is i always tell people that he never remembers but i didn't know he had a podcast i thought he was yeah went on just a few weeks ago oh nice i'll have to check it out i i was a fan of his i mean jesus christ what he used to do at

snl and i'm getting off topic but uh um so anything else in the book we haven't covered that we can entice people to go pick that baby up other than, you know, the brilliant stuff we've covered so far? No, I mean, it's good. It's just if someone wants to work on themselves and make some decisions in their life, this is a book. If you're someone that wants to read fantasy, I love the book swords of shannara so you know like whatever that when i was a kid you read that yeah i used to read the whole series the sort of the terry uh yeah it was like there was like three three or six books or something it was like it was like toki and wannabe books yeah yeah yeah it was good though i thought those were i loved it

yeah i read like i played magic the gathering so anything in fantasy oh do you really my brother does that that's a hell of a thing man those cards sell for like i go with my brother your brother sounds like an exceptional human being um let's not push it. He's my younger brother. I got you. Evidently, I took all the good stuff out of the womb when I left. I'm sure he's a good person by someone's rule. Anyway, let's not get into that. Wow, I just segued in a whole bunch of shit. Check out the book, guys.

One Decision, The First Step to a Better Life by Mike Baer. I really like this stuff because like I say, one of the things that helped me get into it was the community of reading Pendulet's book and kind of getting a vision and then finally flicking that switch and going, Hey, I want to do this. And then, and then of course I failed a couple of times where like, you know, the first month. And so I think it's real important people have to work with someone like you get your book um so they can uh help lay a good foundation so they don't end up flopping around like like i've done on different things i want to take and do we all do we all do but we all get back on track and the cool thing too is i have like a whole community of people

who read like i have a private facebook group so the people who read again it's free I have a free group on Tuesdays I've like prided myself to my own demise on like giving away a lot besides people buying a book because I'm like the I'm like the opposite of what I believe a life coach is in the public setting but like I have a if people buy the book there's a community of other people they get to talk about the book they talk people buy the book there's a community of other people they get to talk about the book they talk about their issues so it's a whole little world we created there you go there you go uh give us your plugs so people can look you up on the interwebs where to buy the book yeah just coach mike bear yeah coach mike bear uh dot com and if you same with all my twitter instagram tiktok facebook coach mike bear

podcast always evolving and hopefully i will have you as a guest i will gladly come another guest on your show and we can talk about all my issues i'm not i i don't know how much time you have i'm in heaven listen it might be like a 10 hour show. We'll unpack it and we'll get comfortable. We're really, you know, what we should do is we should, for, for when you come on my podcast,

let's wear some really comfortable clothing. Well, I think I already am. And I know, but I dance on. So I'm just kidding. I'm not Jeffrey too. Well,

thank you for having me, Chris. Thank you for being on the show. It's been wonderful to meet you and get to know you better and, and give some insight. And hopefully our audience will definitely pick your book i mean this is the best time to do this uh ladies and gentlemen uh go grab his book one decision because uh you know it's the beginning of the year we want to get 2020 on the right track and we need to give us some help and i think we've all been through 2021 2021 yeah see i can't even remember

what year it is anymore that's how far I've lost it. But, you know, I've been joking with – it's kind of a half joke. It's kind of just a bit I do. But I've been telling people that we need to almost have like a national mental health policy after this because I think a lot of people have really just been screwed up with what's gone. You know, they're locked in their homes. They're bouncing off the walls. I mean, some people, you know, the horror is just having to put up with their family members 24 7 as opposed to escaping to work so

um we're all damaged beings at this point so uh i don't know get as much help as you can i guess it's the message yeah come to the damaged party and get better there you go uh thanks to my audience for tuning in go to youtube.com forward slash Chris Voss. Hit that bell notification button. You can also go to Goodreads forward slash Chris Voss. You can also go to Facebook.com, The Chris Voss Show. There's a bunch of groups over there. Just search The Chris Voss Show. And also on LinkedIn as well and Instagram.

I should say we're on Instagram. Thanks to my audience for tuning in. Thanks for everyone for being here. We'll see you guys next time.