The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Marc Scheff: Helping Clients Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Find Fulfillment

Starting point is 00:00:00 You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast. The hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show. The preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready. Get ready. Strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times, because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, folks. It's Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com. There you go, ladies and gentlemen. There Iron Lady sings, and that makes it official. Welcome to the big show.

Starting point is 00:00:46 We certainly appreciate you guys being here. As always, three to four times a day, we have some of the most amazing minds and people on the show that share with you their stories, their journeys of life, their lessons of life, their cathartic moments, and help you complete your owner's manual, as we call it, the stories of life. And hopefully you learn from them some

Starting point is 00:01:05 of the lessons they did so you can avoid some of the pitfalls in life yourself or figure out how to get to fixing yourself sooner we had an amazing young man on the show today we're gonna be talking to him mark chef joins us he's a certified coach award-winning artist and transformational connoisseur so that means he he eats a lot of delectable treats of connoisseurs of of self improvement or something i don't know it sounded good in my head at the time mark is a visionary coach dedicated to guiding professionals on a profound creative inner journey with his expertise individuals break through barriers transcending self-limiting beliefs to unlock the full spectrum of their capabilities.

Starting point is 00:01:50 His transformational coaching goes beyond the visual arts, resonating with a diverse array of minds, empowering them to architect their own narrative and flourish in their professional endeavors. Well, that's really well put. Welcome to the show. How are you, Mark? I'm great, Chris. Great to be here. Thanks for having me.

Starting point is 00:02:03 You know, it sounds a lot better when you say it. So if you could just do that on my podcast that would be great you know i have so many people that say hey chris can i hire you just to have you follow me around and introduce me everywhere i go and now entering the room is yeah just like my voicemail you know that would be great i think presidents have that they didn't know any of the room president blah blah blah blah. Yeah, there might be a second living I can make here. So welcome to the show, Mark. We certainly appreciate having you. Give us your dot coms, wherever you want people to find you on the interwebs.

Starting point is 00:02:33 Sure. You can always find me at markchefcoaching.com. I don't know when this podcast goes out, but I'm actually currently running. I've had a great month, and I like to celebrate by giving something to my audience, to my clients. Right now, I'm running a giveaway. If you sign up for my mailing list, you can win one of my two. I run a deep dive session. This is a great, this is a two-hour session.

Starting point is 00:02:53 If you're curious about coaching, if you want to see what it can do for you, the URL for that right now is imreadytoplaybig.com. I'm ready to play big. Quit playing small, folks. This should be out in about three to four days. Okay. Well, you know what? I'll extend the giveaway to make sure your audience has a chance to sign up. There you go. There you go. So that's very gracious of you. Thank you very much. Give us a 30,000 overview of what you do and how you do it. 30,000 feet. You know, what I do is I work with people just, you know, 30,000 feet. I work with people to create lives that they love.

Starting point is 00:03:27 You know, the slightly, the sort of 10,000 foot, a lot of people come to me because they want something more. I had a client, you know, who, and she's kind of like the epitome of this. She said, look, my life is good. I own my own business. I've got a great marriage. I've got kids. They're healthy. They're in school. Everything's going well. And if I lived every day like this, I could,

Starting point is 00:03:49 and I'd be happy. But if I did that for 30 years, I'd feel like I missed out on an opportunity, and I just don't know what that is. So that's where I like to start. That's where people usually come to me, and that's usually where we start. There you go. That's kind of an interesting thing. I feel like I'm missing an opportunity.'s i mean there's all sorts of pathways you can take in your life you could drive yourself mad trying to figure out you know should could i have done something better i don't know absolutely it's an interesting thought process there so mark tell us a little about yourself you're upbringing you know i've taken a look at some of your art as well it shows you have a incredibly artistic mind and thought pattern. Tell us about your journey through life and how it affected you

Starting point is 00:04:30 and how you became a coach. Yeah, you know, I think I've been fortunate in my life. You know, the long story, there's ups and there's downs, you know, there's things that I've had to get over. There's things that I'm still getting over. But I think the thread, like all of us, you know, I think the thread is always that is that creativity, I've been lucky to have some wonderful creative mentors, including I just wrote a newsletter about my fifth grade art teacher, Miss Purdy, who, you know, who taught me a really beautiful lesson in fifth grade about the importance of taking that creative space you know we were doing an art project in class and I was kind of you know predictably doing kind of not

Starting point is 00:05:10 quite the assignment but I also wasn't really telling people what I was doing and it looked a little funny we were making this sculpture and I wasn't saying what I was doing but the way that I started it kind of looked like a nude you know figure and we're in fifth grade so you know all the kids are like oh look at what Jeff's doing. But she basically told the kids, back off, back off. And she didn't know what I was doing yet. For all she knew, I could have been doing some lewd thing. I'm making kind of this frog.

Starting point is 00:05:34 And if anybody wants to see, email me. I'll send you the newsletter about it. On Substack, by the way. Get a plug for that. On Substack, by the way. Get a plug in for your stuff. I have that newsletter on Substack. Yeah, The Art of Transformation. The Art of Transformation on Substack, by the way. Get a plug for that. On Substack, by the way. Get a plug for your I have that newsletter on Substack. Yeah, The Art of Transformation. The Art of Transformation on Substack. And just in that moment, it's funny, 30 plus years later, 40 years later,

Starting point is 00:05:55 I'm now learning the lesson from that class, which really is about the importance of taking creative space. And I have done a lot of different things. I've been in tech, you know, I've been in leadership positions, I've been in executive positions, and I've been, you know, low man on the totem pole, just, you know, getting my job done doing it, you know. And what's so interesting is that every point in my life where I've had kind of a leap or a shift, I've been provided that kind of creative space by a mentor, or in some cases, actually, you know, a coach of my own. I think about Mr. Buckley, my art teacher in high school, who I, you know, I still keep in touch with as well, who really gave me a lot of space to create things to

Starting point is 00:06:37 even just to process the things that were going on in my life through creativity, you know, and then, you know, getting now to coaching when, when, when COVID hit, you know, I was, I was working, I pitched and got funding for this, you know, executive director position for this nonprofit. And I'm gonna be honest, it didn't go well, you know, it was, it was, I'm going to say it was one of the greatest learning opportunities of my life. And, and, and what happened after that is I had someone else who gave me some space, my wife, she said, look, you know, you can go back to what you were doing and you can just get the next thing. Or right now we have the luxury of you could take some time, a couple of weeks, a couple of months, you tell me.

Starting point is 00:07:15 And I want you to really plan out what it is that you want to do with this next chapter of your life. So in a way, she kind of like, you know, she gave me an opportunity to coach myself. And what I found was, you know, in all the things that I've been doing, teaching art, I run an art gallery, obviously, I still show in galleries, and I've done a lot of creative stuff. But I've also done all of these other things, these leadership positions. And the thing that really stood out to me is, is the is the way that I like to work through that transition myself, and then to show other people how to do it. I didn't know what that looked like at the time, but when I did finally sign up for actual coaching, you know, my certifications, I fell in love. I said, this is it. This is the

Starting point is 00:07:53 creative work that I want to be doing with people in my life. There you go. And so you found your true calling, as it were, in your, well, I mean, I imagine your art is probably part of your true calling as well. You know, I think it's all, I think it's all integrated. People, people talk about this like work life balance, you know, and, and I, and I, I say that's kind of BS, you know, our, our lives are all of these different things. We're trying to balance our lives. Work is one part of it. Creativity is one part of it. Maybe family's a part of it, your relationships, but, you know, but integrating all of those things is, is one of the biggest challenges that I see facing a lot of people, including people in leadership positions, including people in tech, all that stuff.

Starting point is 00:08:31 There you go. And so you, I noticed you do some things on Instagram too. You publish some of your thoughts and give people some advice over there as well. And I think on YouTube also. I'm yeah, you know, I'm in the practice of uh writing i'm doing a lot more writing now um so whether that's writing really really short form on instagram or linkedin you can find me there just search for my name i have my sub stack i'm writing for a magazine called brains magazine i just started writing these like very very short form i don't know if they even call them books anymore on an app called Uptime, which is like, you know, Uptime, it's like a little bit of a CliffsNotes kind of app. So

Starting point is 00:09:09 they'll take books and kind of summarize it into nice visual cards and videos. So I'm writing some of my content for there. And it's a really great way. And I have my clients do this too, you know, to sort of write some of these ideas out because the process of writing things out really, you know, the process of explaining something to somebody else is a great way to really understand it for yourself. So yeah, I'm putting a lot of stuff out there in an effort to understand it better myself so that I could better serve my clients in a lot of ways. Yeah. There you go. I'm going to have to check out this uptime app. I've got to pull up here. Get smarter in just five minutes. But journaling is what you're advising your clients to do kind of in a way right

Starting point is 00:09:45 so they can self-reflect and self-monitor and and it all the successful people that are usually ultra successful and yep you can measure my money if you want journal and they write stuff they think yeah yeah and there's ways to engage with that i mean there's there's so many different you know places out there including including Julie Cameron's Morning Pages and one of my friends, Terry Srespicio, who's a TEDx speaker, has her own writing course, which I think is great. When I work with my clients, I sort of mix. I'm swimming in this stuff all the time.

Starting point is 00:10:19 So I'm learning from Terry and Julie and all these different people. So when you come to me, what I'd like to do is sort of meet people where they are. What is the thing that you're up against? What do we need to do? And so there's like a number of different kinds of ways of approaching journaling that might, you know, shake something loose for them or help them better understand what it is that they really want. And then, you know, then we can sort of take steps and say, okay, so that's what you want. Let's figure out an action plan and let's actually get you there. There you go. And so, you know, you, as we always say in the Chris Voss show, stories are the owner's manuals of life. That's how we learn. That's how we experience that. We, that's how we entertain ourselves. But, you know, learning from each other, learning stories,

Starting point is 00:10:59 reminding us, of course, that maybe things we need to be reminded of bringing us back to the present, all these things do through different stories. What do you find most of your clients that come to you, people are struggling with these days? That's a really great question. What's the common thread? Well, yeah, I've been asked, a lot of coaches, a lot of us sort of are talking about who's your, you know, who's your audience? What are they up against? What's the problem that you're solving?

Starting point is 00:11:28 And I think it's an important, you know, I think it's an important one. So to answer your question, now that I've done a little bit of stalling is, you know, I think most of most of my clients, if I were to say there was like sort of a most common, you know, avatar, if you will. Most of my clients are probably in the 35 to 55 range, somewhere midlife. And they're at a place where, you know, like I said, they've done enough living where, you know, they know what it's like, you know, they know what kind of 15, 20 years in the workforce or not looks like they know what that looks like. They know they have some tools, they have some sense that, you know, they could plan maybe the next 15 or 20 or 30 or more. Because now, you know, now I'm 47. So now that you know, now that I'm 47,

Starting point is 00:12:11 I'm not, I'm not 25, I have more life experience, I could actually put some of that to use. So the problem, if you will, is okay, so so so what do I what do I plan, you know, I maybe I've got a very varied background, or maybe I've just been doing one thing for so long and I don't really know what else is out there. That's the problem that people that come up against is that they're aware, like I said, about that first client. You know, maybe they could do what they're doing now for the next 30 years, but they just don't know what it is that they're missing. And to be fair, you know, Chris, I've had clients come to me and we've worked through what it is they really want and what their values are, what their purpose is, what their vision is. And some of them realize I'm actually kind of doing that. Maybe there's a few small shifts that they want to make, but the fact is they end up feeling much more fulfilled

Starting point is 00:12:57 and happy where they are. I've had some clients leave organizations, start their own organization, you know, leave really important, you know, high paying jobs for something that feels much more fulfilling, you know, creating jobs for other people. And like I said, I've also had people who said, you know, they kind of want to get out of that, you know, that comparison game, you know, that we all have to play, you know, we're out in the world, and they just want to really focus on what's important to them, maybe just, you know, just the people who are close to them. But I would say that the thread, the main problem is, okay, I'm here, I'm sort of, you know, somewhere in the middle of my life, I know that I could plan this next chapter, I could use some support and making sure that I do that really, really thoughtfully. There you go. A lot of people,

Starting point is 00:13:40 you know, kind of that midlife crisis, maybe, or that midlife point where, you know, of that midlife crisis maybe or that midlife point where you know you realize i i was i did this over covid where it kind of struck me and i think i had seen something on etsy where they actually have something where they have all the weeks laid out of the average lifespan i think it's 70 some odd years but they have the weeks and they have these little dots of the weeks and it's measured out and what they do is if you buy it they i don't know why i'm selling this for them i better get a check folks but they fill in the weeks and the weeks disappear pretty quickly when you look at it it's not a lot and i started to realize that at 50 i was thinking i was 52 when COVID hit, I started to realize that I was either halfway through the game, depending upon my life expectancy.

Starting point is 00:14:30 I know what age my father died. My mother's side, they tend to live a lot closer to 100. My father lived to, I think, 74, 75, 76. I'd have to, clearly the dimension's kicking in already. So he lived, it was either 74 or 75 or 76. So, you know, I'm sitting there looking at the line clock going, I'm 52. I've got 20 years, 25 years maybe. If I have my father's DNA and genes and, you know, whatever.

Starting point is 00:15:00 I'm basically at 52. I'm in the last third of the game i'm in the fourth quarter maybe maybe the last part of the third quarter to fourth quarter if you think of it as a fourth quarter four quarter football game and i started talking about this during covid because i'm like holy crap i'm i'm in the last stages of of the game the game's mostly over and but it's not over but still I need to start thinking about you know you you think of the two-minute drill in football or you know basketball when you get down those last few minutes they that seems to be like a whole game is those last few minutes of basketball and and you need to realize that the time is short

Starting point is 00:15:46 and you need to maximize it with what you can do and so it sounds like a lot of those same people that you're talking to and helping them with their issues they're realizing they're halfway through the game or maybe three quarters of the way through the game and you know it's you you there's no room to fuck around anymore, right? You know, when you're young, you can be like, I can be careless and I can be reckless a little bit. But, you know, you realize there's a certain point where you can't be reckless anymore.

Starting point is 00:16:17 You've got to really take this game seriously, mainly because you don't have as much time. And so I think it's important for people to look at that. And then, and then of course, decide, you know, how do you want to spend the rest of his life? Try and be more intentional and thoughtful of him. I think that's absolutely right. I think about the midlife crisis more as a midnight, did I say midlife crisis? My, maybe my dimension is kicking in now too. No, you did. You said, you know, I I think about it more as a midlife catharsis or even a midlife opportunity. And that's the really scary thing is that, you know, we're old enough to look at this and say, this is an opportunity.

Starting point is 00:16:53 I've got 25, maybe 30 summers left. I could actually plan that out. And so, you know, when I do work with people on this, you know, we focus on, there's a lot of different tools and a lot of different ways to do this. But fundamentally, like you said, you can see, you've lived as long as probably, you know, even if you live another 50 years, like you've already done it. So you know what that looks like. So the question, really the question, and this is some of the exercises we do is, how do you want to be remembered you know when you are when you are at end of life you know when you're at whether it's 75 or 85 or 95 and and you look back what do you want to say how do you want to say you spent you do you want to say that you spent that that last quarter just

Starting point is 00:17:36 you know saying okay well i didn't i didn't get it at 50 or i didn't do it at 40 or whatever so i just sort of coasted or do you want to be remembered as somebody who really gave it all you know up to the up to the very end there you go yeah you you just realized that you'd you know you've i it's kind of funny i i i know i was screwing around a lot in my younger years and when the old man died i i remember saying to myself, geez, am I going to grow up now, quit being a Peter Pan boy, and maybe start taking life seriously? I mean, he set the marker for me, basically, when he passed. Because I'm like, gee, my genetics are either his or my mom's. My mom's seems to be more my mom's, but hopefully I have her longevity. She, we, I mean, I was, remember when I was a kid, I had, I had my great, great grandmother

Starting point is 00:18:28 alive at the same time as my great grandmother. Wait, your great, great? Yep. Yep. Wow. Yeah. Wow. They lived to a hundred, I think it was.

Starting point is 00:18:38 And so I was one of the few people that I knew who had all three or four of them. Well, all the four of the mothers, technically, alive at the same time. And so I'm hoping I have that matriarch side of the family, but I know where my father's marker is. Right. There's that. And so it kind of set a marker for me that said, hey, man, there's probably a stop sign in there somewhere yeah how you live your life and i imagine that that was and i imagine you had a number of feelings about that but it sounds like that you know it got you to really like you said say okay well

Starting point is 00:19:16 what what am i gonna what what am i gonna do with what i have how can i how can i really make this this lot you know however long it is, a really great experience? Yeah. And I think maybe two people need to, like what you said, they need to realize the thing, you know, if I die tomorrow or next week or whatever, would I be happy with the way I lived? Would I be, you know, I mean, people, you know, probably should start thinking about what it's like if you're in your deathbed. Are there things that you wish you'd done? It's been studied and talked about that people in their deathbed aren't sitting there going, God, I wish I could have sent more emails.

Starting point is 00:19:56 No one's there and saying, I wish I really should have worked more. I should have asked more questions in the Zoom meeting that already went on too long. I think that's it. I you're you're absolutely right and and one of the one sort of an interesting thought exercise that you can play if you're listening is you know imagine you know imagine that imagine that you died yesterday but but today you woke up this morning and you had one you had one more day how do you how are you going to spend that day now obviously you know this isn't some sort of weird Jim Carrey movie where you're going to go off and do some crazy thing. But just in the sense of how are you going to make decisions today,

Starting point is 00:20:33 every day, even small ones that are in line with the person, the way that you want to be remembered? So do I want to be remembered as the person who kind of said, I'm going to put things off until tomorrow? Do I want to be the kind of person who kind of said, I'm going to put things off till tomorrow? Do I want to be the kind of person who, you know, only spend time at work? Like after this, I have a regular, you know, we have a regular family night dinner. We get a little, we get a little special takeout. It's the one time that my son, who's a teenager now, will actually talk to us because there's food involved. But those things are important to me. And I think people forget about those things too. They think, okay, you know, I used to go start a company and do all this. Yeah, sure, sure. Do all that stuff. That's fine.

Starting point is 00:21:09 We can work on that too. But the thing, you know, you asked about what is the problem that a lot of people have, and a lot of it is this concept of balance. You know, when we talk about legacy, yeah, it's, you know, it's the work stuff. Maybe it's money. You know, all of those things are part of it. And again, you know, it's how do you want to be remembered? How do you want to be known right now by your family, by your friends, by your colleagues, by your peers? How you're known right now is how you also create opportunity for yourself.

Starting point is 00:21:37 So working on that now creates more opportunity, creates that stronger legacy. There you go. I try to strive to just be known as an asshole, a giant asshole. You're doing a terrible job. I'm sorry to tell you. I'm working on it. It's progress. I'll give you some free coaching.

Starting point is 00:21:54 I can teach you how to do it. I just, I just, I just trained with politicians and I'm getting better. I'm getting better. You know, there was some interesting stories that you had on your the art of transformation, your substack thing. One of the stories I found that was interesting was how you learned about achieving potential from a trauma coach from trauma coach training and a car crash. Do you want to tell that story by chance? Yeah, it's weird. That one's come up a couple times this week.

Starting point is 00:22:27 Yeah, it's an interesting hook, and it sucked me right down the rabbit hole of your blog there. Yeah, and it's about, the story is about, you know, it's this trauma coach training that I did. And actually, interestingly enough, the example that they give in the coach training is about working with someone who is maybe just in a car crash, not in the hospital, not hurt, but you know, sometimes you get in a fender bender and you're off by the side of the road and you're still in a state of shock. And this applies both to that kind of really acute trauma, but also to the kind of, you know, all the stories that we tell ourselves that are holding us back. So for example, you know, when you have an incident like that, that's so acute, what tends to happen is, as when you go and think about it, when you remember it, your body, all the chemicals

Starting point is 00:23:14 and stuff go off in your body, kind of like it's happening right now, which is so fascinating. So one of the things that you would do with someone as a coach, or even a bystander, you know, if you, you know, I had to do this with literally with myself about a week later, when you notice that someone's kind of in that, in that state of shock is just to really remind them of the facts on the ground. You are, you know, you're, you're not in the car anymore. That, that part of your time is done. You're in this cafe, you're by the side of the road, everybody's safe. Nobody got hurt. This is the reality right now. Let's start got hurt. This is the reality right now. Let's start to make some decisions from this reality right now. Because oftentimes what we do,

Starting point is 00:23:52 and I see this all the time with clients, what we do is we make decisions out of fear, fear of something that happened, this kind of car accident thing where we're letting that, you know, like you could imagine someone, you know, not ever driving again because, you know, they're just so afraid of that thing that happened happening again. Or, you know, this kind of, you know, whatever made up fears we have about the future, we let these stories that we tell ourselves it's not going to go well or, you know, there's this thing, fear of success, which sounds insane, but it really, you know, it really is. What, you know, what if I don't get the thing is certainly a fear that you might feel some sort of embarrassment.

Starting point is 00:24:29 But also what if I do get the thing, then what do I do now? You know, am I, am I good enough? Am I going to do all these things? So the, the, the, you can use sort of the same, the same skills that you would use with the person like I did, you know, with myself by the side of the road and say, okay, like I'm, I'm hearing all these stories kind of go on in my head. I've maybe, I've had a, you know, I've had a goal to, to reach out to certain people for business or to create this company or to find out information about setting up my, you know, S corp or whatever it is. And I'm not doing it. What's the story that's getting in my way? And how can I journal or something like that to really get present with what's really here right now? And do you find that's really what it is, the stories that we tell ourselves end up being the ones that get in our way?

Starting point is 00:25:23 Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because, you know, the fact is, a belief, if you have beliefs, a belief is, in many ways, just a story that's been repeated over and over. And you can, you know, obviously there's religious beliefs. And there's usually, you know, if you're an organized religion, there's a book and it's full of stories. And you've heard these stories over and over again. And that's in many ways, and I'm oversimplifying, so don't, you know, don't

Starting point is 00:25:49 blame me here. Don't send us hate mail, people. Yeah, please. But, you know, the idea is, you know, you've got these stories, you're hearing them over and over again. That's in many ways the foundation of a belief. Now, we do this for ourselves. And there's, you know, there's lots of ways into this kind of topic. But fundamentally, like when we're kids, we have a set of beliefs that our parents gave us. Our beliefs about money, our beliefs about the world, about safety, right and wrong, all of these things. And sometimes we grow up and go, those were good. And sometimes we grow up and go, I really don't actually believe those things. I don't think they had it right, maybe more often than not.

Starting point is 00:26:26 And so the trick is to start to tell new stories. So that's one of the roles of a coach or even a mentor to really say, well, let's look at what's actually here. Do you need to be making the same decisions that your parents made? Or even forget childhood. Maybe the first job you had out of college, you know, maybe, maybe the first job you had, you know, out of, out of college or out of high school, maybe the first job you had, you, you learned what it was to be in the working world, but now maybe you're a little further along, you've got more opportunities, but maybe you're not seeing

Starting point is 00:26:55 them because, you know, you weren't, you weren't taught to see them. And, and that's, you know, and that's one, again, that's another thing we can start to do is start to tell stories about what the opportunities are that are available to you. So this idea of telling stories is, and I can't tell you how powerful this is when you have somebody who's struggling with the decision about which, like you said, there's many opportunities in the world. And one of the hard things that I encounter that i encounter with people is is this like decision paralysis right maybe they have too many opportunities and they and they really don't want to make the wrong one because again i've got 25 30 summers left or whatever it is i want to make sure i spend it wisely and you know you can come to me and i and i'm not going to tell you

Starting point is 00:27:39 what that decision is i might have some ideas i'm happy to share them but what i'm really curious about is okay what what is again it's this legacy idea. What is important to you? What are the values and what is your purpose and how do you want to be remembered? Now, if we were to ask that person at the end of their life, which of these decisions did they make? Sometimes it becomes clear just like that. Oh, it's just reflecting on it. I mean, you know, in many ways, that's what coaching, you know, I wish I wish I could say it was like a lot more complicated than that. But in many ways, you know, what my job is, is to be a mirror. Now, I think I'm a very thoughtful, very insightful, well educated mirror, you know, who can challenge you as well as show you what's what's actually

Starting point is 00:28:24 true. Because sometimes, you know, we look in the mirror and we see through a filter, right? We see through a filter of our experiences, of our biases, of our judgments, of, you know, of all this comparison stuff that we do. But sometimes it's really valuable to have another mirror to say, well, look, this is what I see. And sometimes, you know, if you've ever had a coach or even just like a really great close, you know, friend who's, who really, you know, who really is, is, has got your back, is in your corner to continue with the sports analogy is in your corner. It's important to have that kind of reflection, both to challenge you to say, you know what, quit, quit slacking out

Starting point is 00:29:01 there. You can do this, but also you can do this. I'm in your corner because I believe in you. And just to be clear, I don't coach everybody who emails me and comes through my door. I really want to believe in what it is that they're doing because I want to make a change in the world. I want the work that I do to be my legacy. And the work that I do is reflected in the work that my clients do. So I want to know that they're out trying to do good things in the world. There you go. There you go. Get people down that road. What are some other things that your favorite topics are when you're helping clients to help them achieve? Well, to be honest, one of my favorite topics is jujitsu. I'm an avid practitioner. I go at least five days a week, sometimes six,

Starting point is 00:29:48 sometimes seven. And I think it's one of the greatest analogies for almost anything in life. You want to talk about being willing to go into a space where you're willing to do something badly for quite a long time, and also willing to go into a space where, you know, there's always going to be somebody better than you in that room. No matter how far along you get on your journey, even when you get the, you know, the coveted black belt, there's people who are still ahead of you. And by that point, certainly for me, there's still going to be a lot of people younger than me. And so you really learn a lot of these lessons. If I played the comparison game, I would have quit a long time ago. Everybody would quit on day one. But the fact is, you know, I'm enjoying so the gym every day, my goal is to come back tomorrow.

Starting point is 00:30:46 You know, I'm looking to put it, to leave it all out there on the mat in such a way that I'm not hurt. My training partners aren't hurt. We've gotten a little better. You know, no one hates me for how I, you know, as few people as possible hate me for, you know, the way I behaved out there. And we come back tomorrow as a team, we come back better, and we're all progressing. So it's a great, I mean, it's just such a great analogy for life, for business. If you're talking about working with teams, I'm a little more advanced. I've been doing it for about six or seven years now. So I do know quite a few things. And so there's plenty of people in there who are just getting started and plenty of people who have lots to

Starting point is 00:31:21 teach me. And when you're talking about creating your own fulfilled life, whether it's business or personal, that's always going to be the case. So with almost every client, I end up talking quite a lot about jujitsu as this analogy for almost anything we do. There you go. It's an art form that's not only great for the mental source, but also for the physical as well. It is. It's physical. It's mental. I mean, not only great for the mental source, but also for the physical as well. It is. It's physical. It's mental.

Starting point is 00:31:50 I mean, what I like about it, too, is if you don't know jujitsu, it's very much like grappling. There's no striking. It's like wrestling, but you can do choke holds and stuff like that. But the way, at least in my, I know there's lots of different kinds of gyms out there, and that's another thing. You've got to find your room so to speak but what i really really like about my gym is it's really dedicated to the growth of the of the members of the gym so you know yes we want to put it all out there on the mat no not in such a way that it's going to be you know harmful and again it's it's we want to come back tomorrow we want to come back next week next next year, you know, uninjured, stronger, smarter, and, you know, just more compassionate to, you know, to the world around us. Definitely.

Starting point is 00:32:30 Definitely. So how can people onboard you? What are some of the offerings that you have on your website that people can get involved? How can they handshake with you to, you know, see if you're a good fit, et cetera, et cetera? It's a great question right now. So I've got two ways that you can connect with me i just kicked off my group program that's really exclusively for artists i will be building a program that's more that's more general for folks who are in entrepreneurs i don't have that out

Starting point is 00:32:54 yet but if you want to connect with me and you're interested in finding out about one-on-one coaching you can just email me my website is on my my emails on my website markchefcoaching.com again you can if you go if you want to if you want to get on my, my email's on my website, markchefcoaching.com. Again, you can, if you go, if you want to, if you want to get on my mailing list, I send out, you know, all kinds of information so you can kind of try before you buy. And if you're interested in doing that, you can go to the website, I'm ready to play big.com. That'll send you to a signup. You can join there. If you want to take that next step. And like I said, I want to be really clear. I don't, I don't like doing a hard sell because it's like trying to hard sell somebody on therapy.

Starting point is 00:33:28 They're going to come in the room and not do any of the work. It doesn't work. So if you're curious about it, I like to give people a free session. I will meet with them, and I will actually help them. I've had people take this session and say, I really don't know what I want. And by the end of that first session, we discovered a vision that's so powerful for them that they're like, okay, when do we start? That's, you know, that's sometimes where people come to me. Well, I just really don't even know what I'd work on. So if you want to reach out to me, there's a way

Starting point is 00:33:54 to do that on my website. You can book one of these calls with me. We'll do some exploration. And at the end, if you really got something out of it, we'll know, you know, I'm not, I don't like push. If people, you know, come and, you know, we have a nice conversation and that's kind of it. We both know that it's there. So it's not a hard sell, but yeah, that's where, that's where people can reach out to me. That's how people can connect.

Starting point is 00:34:13 I'm also on, you know, all the social platforms. So if people just want to message me there, that's fine. There you go. There you go. Well, it's been wonderful to have you on Mark. Very insightful. And hopefully we help some people with their journeys through life. I really hope so. Chris, thank you so much for for having me i can't wait to share the episode there you go thank you and thanks to honest for tuning in go to goodreese.com

Starting point is 00:34:33 fortress chris voss linkedin.com fortress chris voss chris voss won the tiktok getting all those crazy places on the internet thanks for tuning in be good to each other stay safe and we'll see you guys next time and that should

The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Marc Scheff: Helping Clients Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Find Fulfillment

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