The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Rate by Donna Gene Stankey, Ramona Hammel

Episode Date: December 28, 2025

Rate by Donna Gene Stankey, Ramona Hammel On this wintry December night in 1893, Millie had lots of time to think. His wife, Mina, was with child; and tonight, looked like the baby would arrive. His first child was a girl named Blanche, who was four years old. He was truly hoping for a boy, even knowing that Mina and Blanche both wanted a girl. Millie had thought back to the time when he and his family came to Michigan from Canada in the late 1870s. He reminisced about events and adventures this move had brought. He loved life on the farm. To him it was a very rewarding life. He hoped to be able to pass this passion he had for farming on to a son. He had dreamed of being married and having children. He remembered how his pa and ma favored his sister over him and his brother. He never wanted to do that to his children when he had them. He thought how nice it would be to have a son to carry on the family name. A son to help on the farm and eventually inherit it. A son would just make him feel complete as a man. Then came the words. “It’s a boy!” Millie heaved a heavy sigh. A son! He couldn’t wait to see him. He would call him Rate to honor his dad. Now he could look forward to this new chapter in his life. Only time would tell how this chapter would unfold.

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Because you're about to go on a moment. monster education roller coaster with your brain now here's your host chris voss i'm host this voss here from the chrisbos show dot com the ladies going there at least things that makes it official welcome to the show as always we appreciate you guys putting in the christmas show being a part of it all times because without you well i'd just be a guy talking to the mic to some very interesting educated and smart people and i'm the idiot with a mic that is and uh yeah so we're further share your family, friends, and relatives, go to Goodread.com, Forgeess Christchusch, Christfoss, LinkedIn.com, fordstst, Chris Foss, and all those crazy places on the internet.

Opinions expressed by guests on the podcast are solely their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host or the Chris Foss show. Some guests of the show may be advertising on the podcast, but it's not an endorsement or a review of any kind. To be an amazing lady on the show, we're talking about her book series called Rate and some of the family background that goes behind it and everything else. We're joined today. we're by Ramona Hamill. We're going to get into with her and find out some of the insights

of the books she's written and the story she's told. Welcome to the show, Ramona. How are you? I'm excellent. Thank you very much, Chris. And thank you for having me on. Thank you for coming.

We really appreciate having you. Give us your dot-coms or wherever websites or any place you want people to find you on the interwebs. It's Ramona DGS book. So, Ramona, give us a 30,000 hour view of the first book in the series called RATE.

And if you want it, feel free to expand on naming the other three, if you'd like. Okay. Yes, what it is, it's a book about my family tree. It starts out with three generations of Settringtons. And it starts out on the night that the youngest one, is born. His name is Raid or Ralph Setterington, as he's known. And the thing is the older generation, the grandma and grandpa are Horatio and Levina Setterington. And they're fairly wealthy, well-to-do businessmen doing well in the small town of Elsie, Michigan. And it's the night that he's

born. Well, the thing is, his parents, though, his mother vowed that she would never love him. And so this poor little boy is born into a family that his mother vows never to love him. He has an older sister Blanche who says, I don't want him as a brother. You can feed him to the pigs, because she did not like him. And his grandparents didn't actually like boys. They preferred girls. and his dad the only reason he wanted a boy was of course to carry on the family name

and then he wanted a son to help out on the farm so that's why he wanted a son so when you think about it here's this little boy who's born into this family that so far it looks like

not anybody's going to really like him oh wow what a way to grow up now who is this in relation to you and your family? So, excuse me, Ralph Satterington is my grandpa. And then, so there's that Milford and Elmina, my great-grandparents, and then my great-great-grandparents, Horatio, and Levina.

And so actually, my great-grandpa, Milford, he names his son, Ralph, but he calls him rate after his dad, because they didn't have the best relationship. And so he's thinking that by having a son and calling him Rate, that that will help his relationship with his father. But it really didn't. Wow. Now, you've written four books in the series.

There's the first one called Rate that came out January, 2023. There's a lad called Rite, and the mischief maker, and then forever a farmer. So you tell the story, was the story passed down through lineage? What sort of research did you have to capture the data on the story of your relative? Well, what is really, what's interesting about it, it really takes place, like I say, in mid-Michigan, and it's during the late 1890s is when my grandpa is born,

and then it goes into the probably early 1920s. But what was interesting, my mom and I, and my brothers and sisters, we would go to my grandpas and he would tell us stories of when he was a child. And that's what kind of spurred this on because we loved listening to these stories and learning about my parents or my grandparents and my great-grandparents. And so my mom was the one when we would go there, she'd take all these notes and write them down and then together collected it and started writing this story so that it would be for us for her kids to remember her parents and her grandparents

oh well you know these these stories need to be captured and written down so they can so they can you know someone can capture them and and you know remember otherwise they get lost in time yes they do and we were very fortunate because I say my mom was very interested in it and she wanted to preserve this and like she said this really because they were farmers and they were lived in a rural community the community was very dedicated to each other and they really helped each other out and that's what's portrayed in the story too about how community came how the people came together as a community to help one another and that's something that's kind of lost today but it's kind of nice because we can

see the difference of how this family grew up and it really could have been pretty much anybody's family of how things were back then and it's kind of neat because there's what do I want call them colloquialisms that we use that things you would say today or just how things were done and that's what I enjoyed about it too about you go wow they had to do that you know to get along in society it's amazing yeah I mean some of the stuff that they had to do for work and and everything else, a different society course back then. You didn't have like social media and stuff. So let's get into the second book.

What age is does the first book rate cover of the son? So the first book, Ray, because it actually starts out, he was born December 18th, so it starts out the night he's born. And it's just showing the disappointment that his mother has finding out it's a boy because she wanted a girl. And then when his sister comes home, because of course at that time, the children, nobody could be around when a baby was born because they didn't know how that happened.

So when she came home and then she found out there was a boy too, she's like, man, send him back. I don't want him. And then when the grandparents even come over, they're just like, oh, it's a boy. Here they wanted a girl too. So it goes through maybe a little bit more of how the grandparents, were and how his sister blanche her growing up and how she treated him because she as a little child she would pick on him and she would get him in trouble by saying oh well ralph did this or mom look what ralph's doing to me and they would always take her side instead of ralts and so it really is

just part where like I said he's not real old in the first book rate he maybe ends up being about four years old when that story ends. So then the next book, The Ladd Caldrate, now it's getting a little more about him and about his struggles. Like he wanted a sled for Christmas and he's all excited. He gets

the sled for Christmas. Wouldn't you think, oh, yay, I'm a boy, I get a sled for Christmas? It was used. His dad's like, oh, now you can haul wood. Now you can go down in the mailbox and get the mail because he was too short for the mailbox. box so that way he could stand it.

And so it ended up being more of a chore. It was something for work that that's why he got the sled. Ah, well, that'll. And so it goes into more abandon. How old is he at the end of the book? At the end of the lad caldrate, he's probably around 10-ish. And so it just shows, too, about how he had wanted a, oh, Well, he wanted a dog one time he wanted this puppy.

Well, his parents wouldn't buy him the puppy. He had to earn it. He had to go pick strawberries, and he only got paid a penny for a quart of strawberries. Oh, wow. And he had to have, like, you know, $5 worth of strawberries. And even though his mom is the one who sold them and she sold them for like $0.8 a quart, she only gave him a penny. Wow.

And it's like, oh. and but yet like his sister oh my gosh they lavished her with things they in fact the grandparents for his sister said oh you're going to go to school in the city well in town in elsie instead of the country school because a country school isn't good enough for our granddaughter and she has to have store bought clothes she can't have homemade clothes and oh that's right and they're going to live with she's going to live with her grandparents in the house that he had built for his wife where when raid goes to school oh he gets to go to the country school he can wear the homemade clothes that's okay we don't care about rate so that's what kind of goes on in the lad called right and in there that's where he he's kind of i mean he realizes that he doesn't mean as much as his sister does and his parents you know spoil her instead of him and uh he was real excited the one time that this one aunt made him a polka dot shirt

and he was so excited that someone did something special for him and then he had gotten a wagon for Christmas so that he and his dog could go out and again though the wagon was so that he could do chores and pick up wood to bring wood to the house

this poor kid man he dealt with a lot but you know there were hard times back he actually did yeah I mean, really? He did. Crazy. So by the time, go ahead.

I was going to ask you about book three. Do you want to move into book three yet? Yeah. So the mischief maker. So what happens with the mischief maker? Now he realizes, I mean, he has the best friend. He realizes that his parents, you know, okay, we use you for the work. We do special things for your sister.

But once in a great while, like for his birthday one year, while for his sister's birthday, she got a whole bag of oranges. And her birthday was in July. Well, Christmas time comes. He wants bananas because bananas is his favorite fruit. And his sister's like, they're not going to get that for you. And she's just mean about it. His dad did get some bananas for his birthday.

So he's pretty excited about that. But what he finds out now, he's like, okay, I have my friend, I've got my dog, I'm going to, I know my family isn't the wildest about me, but I'm going to do for myself. I'm going to have fun. I'm going to make life more exciting. So he kind of becomes, like I say, this little mischief maker in school. He does really well in school, the teacher likes him, but he's one of those that does the little spitball things and gets in trouble for shooting spitballs. or like when the boys went swimming. Of course, back then when boys went swimming, no girls were allowed.

So the boys went skinny dipping. But then what he would do is like tie the boys' clothes and knots, you know, and then get them all wet. And so when the kids came out and then it's hard to untie your clothes that are wet, right? Or things like that. Or another time in school, he brought frogs in school and put him in the girls' pencil boxes. So, of course, when the girls open up the pencil boxes, you know, they're screaming because the frogs are jumping out.

So he realizes that, okay, I can have fun and I can be myself and do something, even though maybe at home my life isn't the best. Yeah. That's good, man. Survival the fittest when you're under attack. Oh, man. Dude, that's got a, I mean, that's just, what a thing. So then he eventually becomes a man, I guess, in the last book in the series,

where he's forever a farmer, is the book title? yes so what happens is um actually they had to move to town too because they moved to town for his sister they moved to the town of elsie and it's like poor rate then he's like wait a minute what about me and they moved to town so she can finish school there and he has to go to school there and then his dad actually buys a meat market and so ralph has to work in the meat market and go to school at the same time where a sister and she never had to do that she just got to go see friends and have birthday parties and just have a good time so now like I said now he's older but back then I think they only went through like eighth grade but anyway he ends up then going okay his sister

finally goes off to college too which was not something a young woman would do she went against the norm too she's like you know what I don't want to be a school teacher and I don't want to get married. So she went off to college so that she became a secretary and then moved away from home. And so in the meantime, now, again, Ralph is going, okay, it's up to me. And so now he graduates from school and he does well in school. And so he went on to college because he's like, you know, maybe this farmer thing isn't quite the best thing to do. And he goes to school to become an accountant and he loves he's really good at math he loves accounting but then he really does realize in the end that you know I like this but to live in a small town there's really not the work there

he'd have to move to a big city and he didn't want to do that because his love for the country he loved the farm life he loved out there so he moves back home and so his dad then is like okay you take over the farm you work the farm and then we'll go from there And then in the meantime, of course, he's old enough now that he meets this young girl and decides, hey, she's not so bad. And maybe I would like to date her and marry her. So he marries her and starts his own life. And does his wife hate him after that since all the women's life has hate him so far? I mean, he's got a real bad rap with women.

In the meantime, though. yes he has he gets married and has well ends up with three kids but he has two fairly soon but the thing is in the meantime though his dad now the relationship with his dad and actually even his mom in his sense still never really gets better because of course they're like okay yeah you got married yeah you're doing that but i don't like the way you're farming i like the old way of farming. I don't want this new thing that you're trying to do, and you need to do it my way. So his

dad, even though he let him live on the farm, wouldn't give him the farm or sell it to him. So now that's why he's now controlling what Ralph is doing. And so, were these people narcissists? Or what was the deal? I don't know. I know. I know. It starts on that way,

doesn't it? Because the thing was, too, so actually to kind of back up a little bit, So Milford, Ralph's dad, he didn't get along with his dad either. His dad was one that, you know, yeah, you're a boy, yeah, but you're not adding up to what I think you should be. And they honestly end up getting in a lift where they never talk to each other. They get so mad and angry at each other. And that really hurt Ralph that his dad and his grandpa never talked again after that. Because, well, what they did, they followed their daughter to California.

And he was like, okay, so much, so much, you know, for you. I don't care. So anyway, so like I said, so here's Ralph trying to kind of get along with his dad, but then his dad's almost treating him like his dad treated him. Yeah. Well, he's not going along with Ben or women. Yeah. That's unfortunate.

No, I know. Isn't that sad? The poor guy. I mean, he did have, like I said, he did have. good friends. He was well respected. He ended up being a good farmer. But yeah, it was a tough thing. And then actually, even his sister finally gets married and finding once she gets married and then she realizes, too, how his parents treated him after their grandparents die, she finally then realizes, oh, maybe my brother isn't so bad after all, and maybe he wasn't treated fairly.

Yeah, do you think? Jeez, Louise. Poor guy. I feel bad for him, man. I want to see a movie where he comes back as Rambo and kills everybody who ever front of it. Yeah, I hear you. I mean, because it is really sad that...

You threw for his blood. Yeah, because after his... The grandpa died, and like I said, here he is farming the land that his dad and his grandpa had owned that farm but his dad is just like, nope, I'm not giving it to you if you can buy it from me

but yeah, oh no, I'm sorry he's like I'm giving it all to Blanche even though you've lived on this farm even though you've done everything I'm going to give it all to blanche So like I said, it was amazing how they just like the girls and the family better

Yeah, I had similar experience in my childhood. My sister didn't have to do any chores and she got lavished and we were told that they didn't want to hear a kid. Some of those rings are kind of a personal bill for me. Yeah, me and my brother, we had to do chores all our life and then my sister would do nothing.

And we'd just be like, this isn't fair. And, you know, it wasn't, it was, I mean, whatever it was is what it was so there it is what do you hope your readers come away with when they read the book that's a good question what I what we really liked was that the time the era the change in life I mean what they had to go through because when you think about

it in the 1890s that was a real opulent time for you know many people when you think about it there's the trains they go from you know horse and buggy to automobile They get the telephone, they get radio. I mean, it's just really fascinating. And so a lot of that is in the book, too, about how, you know, his first time, you know, talking on a telephone, you know, to his aunt up in Traverse City, you know, it's like, how can I talk to you? And so it's really cool about that part of it, about the history of that. And so we really liked that.

I love that part of it. And the thing is, again, it's one of those I like to think that people will realize that, okay, even though. we all have some issue in life, it's what you make of yourself. You can be an overcomer, just like my grandpa was an overcomer. Because when you think about it, he wouldn't have had to turn out like that. In fact, he had an uncle that didn't turn out so good that is in the story, too. Oh. And that's what I hope that people go, you know what, really, it's nice to know that you can persevere and you can move

on and not let your circumstances control what you do. It's a great lesson for people learning, a great story of families. What do the other people in your family think about these stories? Actually, my oldest brother was the one who really told my mom, he really encouraged her to write these stories, because he goes, you know, these are really interesting, and this will be something good that he could, because he was looking at it, that he goes, that now I can pass it on to my children, and hopefully for generations to come, that we will have these stories about this family. And what I like about, like I said, it's just kind of neat going, oh, here in

Michigan, you know, this really took place. And this was part of my family. I'm pretty excited about it. But yeah, my brothers and sisters are pretty excited about it, too. They're all behind me about getting them published and hopefully maybe making it into a movie or a television series would be fun. Yeah, that would be fun. Well, it's been wonderful to have you on the show. Any further books, maybe from the series you're coming out, maybe about the rest of your family or other things you might be doing?

There might be. Actually, right now I'm kind of at a... I haven't retired yet, and so I'm still a dental hygienist. And so I'm still working. So it's kind of been slow going, you know, getting this all done between work and then do the, you know, on the books. some work and do that. But we'll see.

We might have another book. You might have another book in there. So as we go out, give people a final pitch out to pick up the book in the series and all that good stuff. And nini.coms or websites, social media, want them to check in on you. Because I say my webpage is Ramona dGsbooks.com. Otherwise, there is Instagram and is an X is another one they can look up and see on there, too. Oh, well, thank you very much for coming by the show.

We really appreciate, Ramon. It's been fun to have you. Oh, thank you, Chris. It's been awesome. Thank you. And thanks, my honest, for tuning in. Order the book, wherever fine books are sold. It's entitled, Read, out January 18, 2023.

Thanks for being here. Go to goodreads.com, Fortress Chris Foss. LinkedIn.com, Fortess, Chris Foss, Juan, the Ticktockit, and all those crazy places on the Internet. Be good to each other. Stay safe. We'll see you next. You've been listening to the most amazing, intelligent podcast ever made to improve your brain and your life. Warning. Consuming too much of the Chris Walshow podcast can lead to people thinking you're smarter, younger, and irresistible sexy.

Consume in regularly moderated amounts. Consult a doctor for any resulting brain bleed. All right, oh, Ramona this.