The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Resilience: Picking Up My Shattered Pieces: A Journey of Finding Courage and Strength Through Earthquake Moments by Dr. Tristina Anderson

Episode Date: October 26, 2024

Resilience: Picking Up My Shattered Pieces: A Journey of Finding Courage and Strength Through Earthquake Moments by Dr. Tristina Anderson Unlockyourpowerwithin.ca Amazon.com In "Resilience: Picking up My Shattered Pieces," Dr. Tristina Anderson takes readers on a profound journey of self-discovery and resilience. Through a series of "earthquake moments," she transforms life's uncertainties into opportunities for growth. Tristina candidly reflects on relationships, career choices, and personal struggles, sharing insights on brave thinking and bold actions. This memoir explores themes of forgiveness, gratitude, and vulnerability, highlighting her roles in authentic living and deeper connections. Tristina's heartfelt anecdotes encourage readers to reflect on their own journeys and embrace their unique paths. "Resilience" is a testament to the power of self-discovery and the pursuit of a life filled with purpose and fulfillment. Join Tristina on a transformative journey of healing and intentional living.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times, because you're about to go on a monster education rollercoaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, folks. It's Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com. And one of the earliest things that makes a good to welcome to the big show.

We certainly appreciate you guys being here. For 16 years and 2,000 plus episodes, we've been bringing you the Chris Voss Show. We intend to do it for another 2,000 episodes in 16 years. And then we'll see if we're tired after that. Anyway, guys, go to goodreads.com, 4sayschrisvoss, linkedin.com, 4sayschrisvoss. Chris Voss won the TikTok, getting chrisvossfacebookoss facebook.com today we have an amazing young lady on the show we're gonna be talking about her amazing book that came out september 8th 2024 it's just darn amazing that's gonna be the callback joke for the show i think amazing anyway her book is entitled resilience picking up my shattered pieces, a journey of finding courage and strength through earthquake moments.

Dr. Tristina Anderson joins us on the show. We'll be talking to her insights and everything else. She is a devoted wife, mother, and grandmother who has dedicated her life to transforming the lives around here. We'll find out where here is. Dr. Anderson pursued her academic interests with vigor, first earning an international MBA on finance and accounting, and then a doctoral degree in global business and leadership that laid the foundation for a career marked by excellence and profound sense of purpose.

Her professional journey is as diverse as impressive, encompassing roles in executive, entrepreneur, and visionary leader. Each of these roles is a testament to her ability to relentlessly pursue and help others reach their full potential. She believes that every individual harbors the capacity to achieve greatness. I'm not sure she's seen all the people on Twitter, but we'll find out from her. And she has a belief that drives her to empower people and live their highest vision. Welcome to the show.

How are you? Good, Chris. Thanks for having me on board. Thanks for having me. I was going to say, here, yeah, clearly my education isn't a testament to my writing skills. I mean, well, I just kind of interrupted in a few different places there. So give us your dot coms. Where can people find you on the interwebs you can find me on my website at www.unlockyourpowerwithin.ca and

tristina at unlockyourpowerwithin.ca so give me a 30 000 overview of what's in your new book so it's a memoir actually about my trials and tribulations and what I refer to as my life earthquake moments. Yeah, one of the highlighting aspects is in 1996, when I was almost six months pregnant, I was diagnosed with HIV. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm still here. Good. But I talk about that time in my life and going through, again, those earthquake moments, building a life of resilience, getting a master's doctorate degree and building a financial platform. Wow.

I mean, that's quite a thing to get, HIV. Do you want to give us some of the details behind that or what it was like to try and survive out of that? And you said, what year was this? 1996, 28 years ago. Wow. So did they have a lot of the drugs? I guess my other question is, they have a lot of the drugs that you need. Now they can really keep people alive, I think.

Now it's considered a chronic illness. But back then, when I was diagnosed, like I said, I was almost six months pregnant. My doctor had told me I probably only had a couple years to live and that my unborn child was only going to have a couple years to live. Oh, no. Wow. Yeah. But through I think the mindset that I decided to take on, I found some excellent doctors, not the one who gave me my diagnosis, but other doctors at a different facility that provided some positive outlines with health and drugs and stuff like that. And yeah.

You know, you really have to advocate for yourself in the medical industry. I think you're in Canada. I imagine you have to advocate for yourself in the medical industry. I think you're in Canada. Yeah. I imagine you have to do the same up there. But here in America, you really have to advocate for yourself because, you know, doctors, you can vary. I mean, I had a dog that years ago that was, you know, they told me had to be put down in three days. And because we moved her to holistic diet, raw diet, she lived for another year and a half or three quarters. And it was actually her arthritis that killed her instead of the cancer. So it's kind of,

if you, you got to advocate because, you know, not everyone's got all the right ideas, I suppose. When I was first diagnosed and actually after I had my son, who I'm happy to say he actually was born HIV negative. So because of the intervention when I found out, so I'm happy to say he actually was born HIV negative. So because of the intervention when I found out, so I'm very blessed that he was born HIV negative. But when I was in the hospital back then, they didn't have universal precautions in place. When he was born, they had all these bright red stickers and yellow stickers and all the doctors and nurses came in with the gowns and everything else because it was a trigger to let them know that I had an infectious disease. Oh, wow.

Yeah. So the mindset was a lot different back then than it is today. So was this the moment that really shaped you and made a difference in your life? You talk about resilience, picking up shattered pieces. Was this your first encounter with a moment that would be challenging for you? No, I think throughout my whole life, I had some of those. At the time, I thought there were major milestones, but our earthquake moments, you know, my going through a parent's divorce, accidents, like all these other things that we usually kind of encompass when we were younger kids. But no, that was a major, a major impact in my life.

Yeah, I imagine very life-changing. So you journal in your memoir, Resilience, Picking Up My Shattered Pieces, the story of your life and kind of the ways you came out of it, right? You found your way through the darkness. Tell us a little bit about how you discovered, you know, how to, you know, rebuild yourself and to build the tenacity of resilience. Yeah, there was definitely some stumbles, right? Obviously, you know, every time I, you know, from a health perspective or a life perspective took a step forward, there was a couple steps back.

But eventually I got to a mindset where I just encompassed the fact that I was here for a reason. And whatever, whatever attracted this disease to me, I had it right. And just I ended up getting tied into when my parents got divorced. I just wanted to build a life where I wasn't financially dependent. I was married and wasn't one didn't want to be financially dependent on somebody else. So I started then with a master's degree, a doctorate degree, built this financial business became an entrepreneur, consult, consulting and stuff. And then what I realized when I kind of looked back was I wasn't spending the time with my children that I wanted to spend with, you know, the health diagnosis that I had.

I sacrificed the time with my family to build this economic and business enterprise. Yeah. I mean, that's one of the, that's one of the hard things about, you know, doing, you know, being independent and making everything successful is trying to do everything yourself. And so. Oh, go ahead. No, that was my finish my thought. OK, so I was going to say, you know, we have this this conversation about work life balance and the definition of balance is equal distribution. You can't equally distribute your personal life and your work life. It's always a pull, right? It's a teeter-totter, if you will. And, you know, I think we kind of set each other up and ourselves up for failure when we always talk about, oh, how's your work-life balance?

It's not. There is no balance, right? It's hard to maintain it. I mean, that's kind of why we have two spouses in the world. It's hard, especially if you're single, to do a work-life balance, especially if you have children, you know, and you're trying to balance those two things. So you went and got a lot of professional accolades to build your knowledge base and everything else. Tell us what you're doing now on your website, unlockyourpowerwithin.ca. Yeah. So my purpose after I left that, you know, the corporate world, the CEO kind of world is I really kind of found that there was a different

purpose that I should be focusing on. So hence why I wrote the memoir. I actually picked up and moved with my kids to Mexico to have more harmony and time with my kids left Canada moved to Mexico. But really now my purpose I find is to help people live their life regret free. Yeah. Why is that important? I think when we look when we you know, we look at our lives. And if you look at some of the, the individuals, when they get to their end of their lives, they talk about, I wish I would have done this. I wish I would have loved more.

I wish I would have said, I'm sorry. We, the what ifs in life, you know, I really find that the, the, the individuals I want to serve along with myself is living that regret free

life. I'm here to play full out. Yeah. Regrets are, you know, a lot of people don't think about life. They kind of go through life on a lockstep sort of program, robotic sort of mode, and then they wake up kind of midlife when it's half over. A lot of people don't realize 37 is midlife, people.

Yeah. You know, up until recently, I heard that, and I was like, oh, 50, midlife time. And no, I, you know, up until recently I heard that and I was like, Oh, 50 of midlife Christ and midlife time. And no, it's really 37 because the average way of how people live nowadays it's for all that partying, drinking and, and, and eating all those fatty foods. At least that's what we do here in America. I think you guys eat more healthier up in Canada. So you've figured out a way to deal with being resilient and you can help others go through their process of discovery and pursue a life filled with purpose. Tell us about some of the offerings you have on your website that you do.

Yeah. So I actually have a few different programs. One of the ones I'm most proud of is a 12 month program, fearless living, living regret free. So I have different modules throughout that. And that's really kind of one that that I'm the most proud of. I wrote it, it's my curriculum. And it's really goes through those different type of chapters in people's lives. You know, when we look at the C suite, or forgiveness, or fractured relationships, all those types of things. So that's, that's one of my big ones that I, that I'm really proud of. Ah, what are some of the other things you offer? I have other smaller programs, 12 weeks where people really start to get into

dream building and living a life they love. If you ask most people, what would you love? If you had a magic wand, what would you like your life to be like? It's, they really don't know. They look at their circumstances or condition to say, if I had more money, or I had a different education, or I had a spouse or didn't have my spouse or all the different things, then I would do A, B and C, instead of coming from actually what you would actually love and build your life around that i've worked with a lot of of clients who really don't know what they would actually like in their life we we get up we usually go to university or go to trade school and then we

just do the next thing for the next 40 years retire if something hasn't happened and that's it. Usually health will get you or something else. You don't actually have the money or the time to travel. So it's getting more control of our lives in advance. Life, as far as we know, we're only here once. So let's enjoy it. Definitely. Definitely.

You never know what comes after. Nobody knows. So you might as well enjoy what you have here. You know, I went through that in my life where people used to come up to me. I thought I had what I wanted in life. I had a lot of companies, made a lot of money, kind of lived in a gilded cage. And people come up to me and be like, it's so lovely that you love what you do and you can do what you do. And I'm like, I don't love any of this.

It made me realize I didn't love any of it. I mean, I liked it. I love my children, my companies that I had made and built, but I didn't love them. Like I wasn't passionate to show up to work every day going, ooh, I get to work for a mortgage company, a courier company, all these other things. I like being an investor.

I like being the guy, if you will, but I didn't ever like really being what I did. And so they would look at me and they'd be like, what do you want to do? What would you want to do that you would really enjoy? And I'm like, I don't know. So I kind of identify with what you said. And I had to give a lot of thought and think about it. It took me a while. And one day it occurred to me that you know i'd love to maybe when i retire go get a if i ever retire go to wyoming and get a plot of land maybe run a wolf refuge or sanctuary or maybe a husky sanctuary i really love huskies and so you know so i'm looking at those two and seeing what what i, although there's not much money in that is the problem.

But I've since found my podcast. I love my podcast more than anything. I love talking to people and interviewing people, et cetera, et cetera. I finally found it. But yeah, a lot of people go through life and they don't really know what they want. And they wake up kind of halfway through and they burn half of the life and they go, oh, shit, I should probably get my act together. You know, most people actually spend more time planning a vacation once a year than they do actually planning their life. If you think about that, right?

It's like, I want to go to Mexico or I want to go here. Let's look at all the all-inclusive resorts and get all of our friends and families together. Let's go do this. But if you look at your life in general, most people don't have it planned out. They just get up and they do the same thing day after day after day. It's just the hamster wheel that we sometimes get into. Yeah, I run big, giant dating groups and coach on dating as well as leadership and stuff. And it's amazing to me how reckless people are with their lives and the things that they choose to do and spend time on.

It's just insane when you see how people behave. And you're like, did you do any life planning up until this point? I mean, maybe having, you know, I'm in Utah. So it's like maybe having 10 kids and anticipating that you might get divorced someday because the odds are there. I mean, you know, there are odds on this. You know, maybe it would be hard to remarket yourself to someone with 10 kids. You didn't think this through very well, did you? But, you know, it's kind of how people roll, I guess. You've got to love it.

Anyway, I see the number of services you have. You've got the Dream Builder Program for group or private coaching. You've got the Life Mastery Program for group or private coaching. You've got the Life Mastery Program for group or private coaching. Private one-on-one VIP coaching that you do. Do you want to flesh out any of those programs to us? Yeah. Like I said, I just briefly touched on them. The signature program that I just finished writing, I don't think it's up on the website yet is that 12 month

group project, actually, I'm going to be looking at no more than 12 individuals, I find I did a lot of one on one coaching. And I found that executives like to be in small, intimate groups with their peers. So they have that, you know, confidentiality, that's a little bit more aligned with their visions and goals. So I don't do more than 10 people in my private groups. I find more than that's just too many. Yeah. Five to 10, yeah. There's a good intimacy level and serendipity in around eight people.

We always have groups. And if you have a diverse group of people, but yeah, it becomes more serendipitous and more intimate. And anytime you get over a certain size, it just don't know unwieldy people don't feel like they have an equal voice because he has executives and entrepreneurs and i actually have two separate groups because i find their mindsets are a little different i've been both an entrepreneur and a c suite and i actually have two separate groups for those because entrepreneurs are everything to everybody sometimes. And C-suite people, individuals focus on

what their skill sets are in this particular area. So sometimes they come in together for a joint session so they can brainstorm around most things. But for the most part, they like to stay with their own experience and expertise for their growth. And that's what I end up building my packages around. Yeah. So what do you find most people that come to you are struggling with? What are your clients usually struggling with? The number one thing.

Regret. Ah, regrets. You know, in my previous CEO life, I life i was you know what they refer to as a parachute parachute ceo so the board of directors would terminate their c-suite staff myself and other people would come in we would work with the shareholder the board of directors to change the strategic direction implement whatever they wanted to implement and then i would usually as a ceo recruit my replacement and i'd move on to another client. What I found is,

is those individuals within the organizations that just have gotten terminated, they give it their all right there, work in the 14, 16, 18 hours a day. They've missed their kids's special occasions or anniversaries or doctor's appointments.

And I really kind of got into this hamster wheel of this corporate world to say everybody is replaceable so don't give you have to have mutual respect with as an organization even if you're an entrepreneur but at the end of the day i had a boss one time many many years that said, the graveyard's full of irreplaceable people. And I've always remembered that. Yeah. And I think a lot of people in the grave, they usually regret not spending a lot of time with their family, don't they? Yeah.

People that mattered. Yeah. You know, it's definitely interesting. You know, my regrets in life are that I never went to the last pink floyd concert that i thought would keep i thought there would be more albums and keep going and i believe it was the division bill and so that's one of my biggest regrets in life and then not going to more rush concerts because i'm a big rush fan and neil peart kind of died wrecked me still getting over that but yeah not going to enough rush concerts. Those are my two biggest

regrets in life. So you got any ideas on how I can deal with those? I don't think you can go back in time. I don't think that technology will work. Neil Peart up on the drums again, zombie drumming. When I wake up in the morning, I say to myself, today, I'm going to live my best life. Because I think of life almost like an hourglass. We really don't know how much more time we have. I'm going to be 54 years old this year. I know I have less time ahead of me than I have behind me. That's a given at my age. But you don't know how much more time, right? So embrace life, do the scary things, you know, men, past relationships and all those, all those things. Yeah. There's, there's, time is short, man. And you know, spending your life hating people and wait, that's what I do in my life. Hating people and keeping enemies lists and all that sort of stuff right yeah can can really do it for you so what else have we talked about on the service you offer or maybe stuff in the book yeah i again i think it just goes back to that is actually you you briefly touched on it

chris when you're talking a little bit earlier when people look at your life from an outside lens. And that was one of the reasons I actually kept my HIV diagnosis to maybe six people in my life, excluding my doctors, up until until I released it about two months ago. And the reason why I did that is people looked at my life from the outside in, you know, I still live in puerto vario to mexico um travel back and forth you know had onto businesses i actually owned an airline in canada i was a ceo of an airline so i've done a lot of different things spoke on international stages and and people would look at my life and they would they would make different comments i wish i had the things that you had and i would think of myself if you only knew and that was one of the reason that was

probably the the biggest reason why i wrote the memoir to disclose that to say we all have sad stories if you will and it doesn't matter what kind of the cards that you've been dealt you can still build a life that you absolutely love regardless of whatever that you've been dealt, you can still build a life that you absolutely love, regardless of whatever circumstances you've been dealt with. And I thought it was important to share, to be vulnerable and put that forward, say, yeah, this is the outside of me that you see, but there's an inside too,

that had to go through the trials and tribulations and the earthquake moments. Yeah. And it can make all the difference in the world in what you do and how you do it. So as we go out, give people, tell people how they can onboard with you, tell them how they can reach out with you. Is there a prospective client that you usually work with? Like do they need a certain net worth or anything?

No, no. I think I work with CEOs, the C suites and entrepreneurs, we all kind of have these things that we want to, you know, get out of the regret areas. So anybody could just go to my website, unlock your power within.ca, they can send me an email. If they want to pick up my book, they can go to www.resiliencebook.ca that my memoir is there. They can grab that and, and there's links in there as well to follow me if they so choose. Oh, so thank you very much for coming to the show. We really appreciate it. Thanks Chris for having me. Pick up the book folks, wherever fine books are sold. It's on September 8th, 2024.

It's called Resilience. Picking up my shattered pieces, a journey of finding courage and strength through earthquake moments. Definitely a momentum sort of book where you can change your life and not have regrets. Oh, sorry. The fewer regrets you can make in life, the better. It's best to pre-plan so you don't make so many. And go to the Pink Floyd concerts when they come available, people. As if they ever will.

Anyway, guys, thank you, Christina, for coming on the show. Thanks to my audience for tuning in. Go to Goodreads.com, 4Chest, Chris Voss, LinkedIn.com, 4Chest, Chris Voss, Chris Voss1, the TikTokity, and all those crazy places on the internet. Be good to each other. Stay safe. We'll see you next time.