The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Suck It Up Cupcake: Stop Screwing Yourself and Get the Life You Want by Dennis McCurdy

Episode Date: June 11, 2023

Suck It Up Cupcake: Stop Screwing Yourself and Get the Life You Want by Dennis McCurdy https://amzn.to/3P4DQgc A better life awaits… …if you could only get out of your own way. Are you your own worst enemy? This is a book about fear, determination, self-defeating mindsets, and how to overcome every obstacle that life puts in your way. Dennis was not an overachiever. Finishing high school eighth from the bottom of his class, he went off to Vietnam to fight for his country. When he returned, at age 24, he sold hot dogs and donuts. Broke and depressed, wasn’t how he wanted to spend his life. He had two things going for him. Dennis wasn’t afraid to work hard and learn (and teach himself) what he needed. In twelve years, he built several (real estate and other) businesses and was worth over (1) one million dollars. Designing the life you want is about learning to problem solve in ways most people never consider. This book will give you insights into yourself and what you need to succeed. You’ll learn how to: Stop waiting and start Pay Attention, learn to know yourself The Compound Effect will move you forward step by step- will show you that every action moves you (Powerful concept) The potential of the Law of Association Master the power of Deliberate Practice And much more This book is about solutions. You’ll love this personal development book, because Dennis speaks from the heart, isn’t afraid of the truth, and shows you the path. About the Author A self-employed businessman since the age of 23; Dennis understands what it takes to be successful; his company, McCurdy Group, was awarded the prestigious 5 Star Designation in 2003. Dennis has started 10 businesses, and has owned millions of dollar in real estate. As president of Adam Beck Institute, he speaks frequently about personal development and growth. His 5-week workshop, Find A Way, was developed for individuals who want to invigorate their life, reach for their dreams, and learn new ways to achieve... Those who have attended his presentations agree–Dennis is a practical and down-to-earth coach/guide. No frills just lots of meat and potatoes. Dennis is the author of; Find, A Way, A Guide to Getting The Most From Life, and 52 Ways To Find A Way and he is currently working on his third book, “Suck it Up Cupcake, How to Stop Screwing Yourself and Get the Life You Want”

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thechrissvossshow.com Welcome to the big show my family and friends We so appreciate it Maybe I should start the show out every time Here we go We're all going down the mountain Anyway folks, we have an amazing gentleman on the show

He's written his latest book that just came out We're going to get into it and motivation We like motivation It's motivational, well, whichever day you're watching We have an amazing gentleman on the show. He's written his latest book that just came out. We're going to get into it. And motivation. We like motivation. It's motivational. Well, whichever day you're watching, because some of you are watching these videos 10 years from now. So, you know, whatever day you're on and you're listening to this episode, that's the day. I want you to feel guilty, though.

And remember, there's 1,400 episodes up of The Chris Foss Show. 14 years were going on this year. I was just talking about the guys who created the hosting service that were on blueberry and they've got me beat by four years because i was asking them how old are some of the oldest podcasts because i'm feeling pretty damn old and uh they go yeah we got you beat by four years i'm like well you guys slow down so i can catch up we're an old podcast and we are putting out since 2020 two to three podcasts a day with the most amazing guests that you can think of and they're brilliant they're going to

make you sexy they're going to make you hot you're going to glow with intelligence you might have to order a whole new cranium off amazon but watch those uh the productions we're putting out two to three a weekday so that's like 10 to 15 a week. If there is anybody out there, I'm going to offer this up. If there's anybody out there who goes and listens from 1 through 1400, I want to know who you are.

We're going to send you, I don't know, a knife set or something. I don't know what we'll send. We'll send you a signed autograph. Maybe we should have you on the show and find out what's wrong with you if you did. But if anybody ever wants to try doing that, there might be like a Guinness Book of World Records category

we can make for it. But go listen to all those things. I was talking to Blueberry Hosting today and having some chat with their peeps and they were figuring out faster ways to deliver the 1,400 episodes. Evidently it's a little harder to push that sort of volume out every day. And so we figured a way to make that work even better.

So make sure you watch the show. But also what I'm setting up is the guilt trip for the plugs. Refer to your family, friends, and relatives. Go to goodreads.com, 4chesschristmas. There's a blog over there, too, from us. YouTube and Twitter, LinkedIn, TikTok. You guys know the drill. He is the author of an amazing new book.

Dennis McCurdy is on the show with us today. You've been hearing him act up in the background there. He has the, geez, I want to do this in a John Wayne voice. Go ahead. But the newest book that he has, we're going to wing this one. Suck it up, cupcake. Stop screwing yourself and get the life you want. That's not even John Wayne, man.

I didn't even hit it close enough. Close enough. Suck it up, buttercup. I don't know. If I do the pilgrim, I'm just not getting it. If pilgrim used to be my keyword to get into john wayne suck it up cupcake stop screwing yourself and get the life you want available july 26 2022 we have dennis mccurdy on the phone and he or on the phone he's in person we don't even know

we brought him in person live uh he is a self-employed businessman since the age of 23. He understands what it takes to be successful. His company, McCurdy Group, was awarded the prestigious five-star designation in 2003. Dennis has started 10 businesses and owned millions of dollars in real estate. He's the president of Adam Beck Institute and speaks frequently about personal development and growth. His five-week workshop, Find a Way, was developed for individuals who want to invigorate their life, reach for their dreams, and learn new ways to achieve. And they have attended his presentations and his practical and down-to-earth coaching guide, as we're going to find on the show. No frills, just lots of meats and potatoes, and he also served in Vietnam,

so we might get a little bit of a thing. Oh, and he's also a firewalking instructor, so we'll get into that. This is going to be a fun show. Welcome to the show, Dennis. How are you? Hey, man. How you doing? Good, good.

I feel like we should have brought fire to the show. Well, it's hard to do it online like this. Plus, you need to be at night where you have the effect. Ah, you've got to have that beach night effect. Yeah, you need that. I'd want the sand, too, because the sand could get you cooled back down after you walk on the fire. Absolutely the wrong thing.

The number one rule of fire walking, no walking on sand. Yeah. Now, is this different than the nine divorces I had? That was like a different kind of fireworking to my understanding? No, I'm just kidding. I was talking to Tom Morris he was a famous author to do some of the Disney

commercials and I said hey Tom we should come to a firewalk sometime and he says Dennis he says I've been married for 40 years I've been walking on thin ice my whole life whoa I'd switch to fire then so there you go so welcome to the show.

Give us a.coms. Where do you want people to go and stalk you on the interwebs and find out more about you? If they want to stalk me, they can very easily stalk me at DennisMcCurdy.com. There you go. It's sweet and easy. There you go. So you have two books. We should get a plug in here for the earlier book. Three books.

Kind of the name of some of the seminars and motivational coaching you've been doing, right? Right. We have three books. So what first one is find a way, a guide to getting the most out of life. The second one is 52 ways to find a way. And the third one is suck it up cupcake, stop screwing yourself and get the life you want. And I'm almost done the fourth, which is the mastermind, the true power of success. There you go. The mastermind, true Power of Success. So I love the title of this book because it seems like we live in a society right now where everyone's like, we call it victimhood competition. Everyone's like, no, I'm a bigger victim than you are.

And you're like, dude, so what? The gal at Starbucks got your latte wrong. She didn't put the coffee, macchino, whatever sprinkles on your thing, and now you're having a complete amulism. So what motivates your title this the way it is, and what's in the book? Originally it was going to be Release Your Break, but then I thought, hey, you know what? That's nice, but suck it up. I mean's nice, but suck it up.

I mean, people need to suck it up. I just recently did a post that said, basically, I don't know where I read this, but it was like, America's like this huge, delicious chocolate cake surrounded by hungry people too afraid to take a bite. That's an interesting analogy. You know, when I first saw it, I was like, suck it up, cupcake. I'm like, I've been doing this all my life. Have you seen me lately? I've sucked up a lot of cupcakes. A lot of cupcakes.

I kind of regret that, actually. I hear you. And that's the whole thing is everybody's like, everybody, people need to suck it up and start getting reaching their goals you know the whole statistic with eight percent of the people who set a goal for new year's complete them 92 don't and next year they set the same goal again and again and again and again i used to do that new years i'd be like i'm not gonna drink this year and I'm not going to wake up with a hangover. Right. Then on the third, I'd wake up going, what country am I in? You're not drinking anymore,

but you're not drinking any less either. I'm never going to do this again next year. I'm going to start off on the right foot. Then weight loss and all that good stuff. Let's skip around here. Let's talk about your origin story. Tell us about what shaped you and how you grew up and kind of got you to where you were in life. What's funny, I hear people talking all the time about their victims and poor them, poor me. My grandfather was a cracker.

He was a sharecropper north of Sherman, Texas. So my father was a sharecropper north of Sherman, Texas. So my father was a sharecropper. They went to school. They planted the harvest in April and they went to school all summer because they had the harvest of cotton in September and October. Oh, wow. And so they didn't own the land. They didn't own the shack they lived in. They just basically existed.

So my father joined the service. I think that was the best thing that ever happened to him because he had three squares and shoes. Yeah. So we all come from those kind of basic roots. My father was a drill instructor, so you'll know my background there. Oh, yeah. You had to bounce the quarter off your bed.

You got it. My mother used to scream at him. The nickname was Mac. She'd go, Mac, they're not recruits they're little boys they didn't sign up for this voluntarily right they didn't take the oath they're not getting paid right but uh so i went i went out got high school college was not going to be my thing so i ended up going into service in the air Force Security Forces. Oh, there you go. So I was in Guam, Okinawa, Texas, Vietnam,

and for a reward from Vietnam, they sent me to North Dakota. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a whole new killing field. Yes, yes. You're like, please dump Agent Oren on me. I'm in North Dakota. There's nothing up there but snow and frostbite.

Snow and there's nothing. In fact, each one of the barracks had to have a little kitchen in it because there were certain days you just were not allowed to leave the building. Oh, wow, because it's so cold? So cold, yeah. And then you had those people up there like Fargo. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. There's a reason there's only 300,000 or 400, those people up there like Fargo. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a reason there's only three or four hundred thousand people up there. So it's. Damn, that's cold, man. So you go up there and then where do you find your legs going into business? You started your first business, I think around 23, you said? 23. Yeah.

What happened then is I came back and I said, well, I guess I will go to college because that's what everybody says you're supposed to do when you get the GI Bill. So I went one semester and then I met two friends of mine at a coffee shop who said, hey, we're going to start an insurance company and a real estate company. I said, they were 23 and 25. I said, you can do that? Wow. You know, which is our belief system.

Like we can and we can't do things. They said, yeah, we can and we're going to. So I said, okay. It was like, we can't do things. They said, yeah, we can, and we're going to. So I said, okay. It was like, bye-bye books. Hello buildings. Wow.

And you're at the 11, you're at the Levittown sort of beginning of that whole, uh, boom run of real estate. Well, actually at that point in time, uh, I actually didn't do well in real estate because it was 73,

74. So we were just heading into high interest rates. Oh, that's right. The recession. Yeah. Yeah. In recession, interest rates. I didn't even know what a recession was.

And so the rates went from seven to eight to nine to 10 to 11. With the gas prices. 12. Gas prices up. We're standing in line for gas. And so it was an interesting times but one of my mentors had said to me one time he said Dennis if you're going to be in business he said make sure that whatever you sell people have to have he said that way your recession proof yeah and

it was a really smart guy so the. So the insurance business fit that bill. There you go. Nobody likes insurance, so there's less competition to sell because nobody wants to do it. Yeah, and it's a hell of a business because of the residual effect on it too. That's why I did it. Yeah, and people need insurance. They have to have insurance.

Our sign out in front of our office says, insurance, you need it, we got it. There you go. You know, I can agree with you. My father was in insurance, and he liked the residual nature of it. And I used to look at him, and I'm like, well, it's either insurance or funeral homes, because everyone needs a funeral home. Right. But I could never do that embolism, embalming, whatever.

That's not for me. I have a client who does that, and it's like, okay, well, whatever. Yeah. They're always kind of oddfellas, aren't they, a little bit? She is. She's kind of a very, like, you know, woo. They're always kind of a little, they're kind of quiet. You know, they kind of have a serial very kind of quiet you know they got a

serial killer vibe but they're nice people so nice people yeah I've lost like two of the funeral home directors and pretty sure now it's right now so there so yeah so for me it was basically once I learned about the you know even though I had failed in real estate the first year or two ended up starting my own real estate company along with the insurance business. I was buying buildings, flipping them. I built spec houses. The thing is, it just kind of came to me like, hey, if that guy over there did it, why can't I do it? Yeah.

You just start. That's the first chapter of the new book. It's called Start. Ah, this is the new book you're working on. The new book. No, the new book it's called start ah then this is the new book you're working on the new one that just came out last july so it's just just start you know even if it's small start and start's a really good principle because you know we talked about in the show uh you know i've had i've had like friends are like hey chris i want to start a business like yours okay we'll go do it uh well i'm just waiting for things to be perfect right and you're like dude it's never gonna be perfect it's a it's

a it's a mess and it never stops being a mess um and uh and then you'll see him like years later and you're like hey just start that business they're like uh waiting for things to be perfect right right well dude you just gotta start here's me see if I can put it right there somewhere. Okay. There you go. Here's the first drawing, and it says, Becky and Justin, or Justin and Becky have been waiting to start their business, waiting for the right time.

And it's two skeletons, and it's like, that's what people do. Yeah. I'm still doing that for my first wedding, my first marriage. I think my, I think my soulmate is one of those skeletons going, Chris is going to call at any time, which is probably never going to happen. It saves on divorce costs.

It does. That's, that's why I never got married. I haven't, I haven't saved up enough for the divorce attorneys. Um, and I'm going to, what I'm going to do is I'm just going to do a speed run since I'm behind

everyone else. Everyone, my age has two to, what I'm going to do is I'm just going to do a speed run since I'm behind everyone else. Everyone my age has two to three divorces under me. So what I'm going to do is try to try and catch everybody up. Yeah. Just divorce like a one week after time. I'll get married in Vegas. Just like you go to Vegas and get married. Yep.

Yep. I'm just going to, I'm just going to like a week later, I'm just going to be sorry, honey, this isn't working out. Here's a million dollars. Go buy. See ya. And then, um, I don't know, I'll marry your sister. I don't know what's up with that anyway uh so give us more of an in-depth overview of what's inside of suck it up um it did when you when you meant it did you meant it kind of as a

good slap to the face like correct suck it up cupcake yeah yeah put your boots on it's tough love but not not harsh love it's just like, you know, it's there. I know. Well, having, having grown up with a father as a drill instructor, I know the difference. My dad used to pull that crap with us with the quarter on the bed. It's like, I want the basic. And he threw the quarter on the bed and we're like, yeah, but you joined the national guard. Give me a break.

Yeah. bed and we're like yeah but you joined the national guard give me a break the uh so you talk in your book is it kind of a memoir too about your journey and and building your real estate businesses not a little here and there just talked about but it's basically the basics that we all need to do is like uh number one know yourself don't be a square peg in a round hole because too many people try to fit themselves into things that don't work for them. Yeah. I used to be able to fit into a square hole, but then I sucked up too many cupcakes. Well, I know that feeling.

We all had 32-inch waists at one time, right? Yeah. I used to weigh 110 pounds. Yeah. Suckin' wet. When I came back from the war, it was 156, so yeah. There you go. And then we find cupcakes. Yeah uh, you know, and other things, Jack Daniels.

Uh, I, I did the Jack Daniels here, the wild Turkey runs. So, uh, stop waiting to start, pay attention, learn to know yourself. You have to do that. Why is that important to, to know yourself? Because I've seen myself and there's about eight other personalities too with me one says kill kill kill all the time judge says i can't use that one anymore um but i don't really have a choice it's just a roll the dice more you know uh but uh what why is it important to know yourself well you have to know you have to know your strengths

and what your potential is otherwise what if you don't have any? Everybody has it. I always say when I talk to people, I always say love what you do or do what you love or love what you do. Every job doesn't have the same pay rate because it's not the same skill level,

but they still are important somebody doesn't clean the bathroom in the restaurant or the bill of the office it's disgusting and that creates an image so the job is important doesn't have a high skill level but it's still important definitely there was just i just read an article well that just didn't just read it uh we talk about accomplishing things there was was a guy named Ronald Reed from Brattleboro, Vermont. He died in 2015. He was a custodian at the local hospital

and he also had a little part-time gig at a gas station. So when he died in 2015, he left the hospital $2.5 million. He left the hospital two and a half million dollars. He left the library a million dollars, and it was still like five million dollars left over. Wow.

So this is a guy who was a custodian. Yeah, it's crazy. And he just lived within his means and invested his money well? Or did he buy Bitcoin? No, no. Fortunately for him, he was already gone when Bitcoin came out. But he lived on his means.

And he had a little part-time hustle at the gas station. And he bought good things and he held on to them. Didn't panic. It's all about, it's that whole thing about life's not a hundred yard dash, it's a marathon. And it's very trite, but it's a marathon and it's it's not it's very trite but it's true it really is uh you know i we were talking on the show the other day i don't know if this this one's published there's two two that we did this week that we that's put off for a week or two until the book comes out but uh we're talking about my father my father was he loved life insurance but then he got into multiple marketing and he was constantly joining multiple marketing

companies and you know he's like I just were I just gotta work hard for three months Chris and I'm Greg retire yeah my dad anything of value anything anything that you you do takes a lifetime to build or a long time to build. Anything of value, you know, and I see that in a lot of the younger generation, like within the generation Z things, where they're like, I want to do that. And you're like, well, there's going to be a lot of work in a lot of years. And you're like, no, I want that now. And you're like, it's not the way it works.

And, you know, sometimes I see people call it the overnight success. Right. Flash in the pan, right? Yeah. A lot of people say to me, well, it's great you're successful or whatever, Chris. And I'm like, do you have any blood, sweat, tears, years, failures, trials, tribulations? And that was just last week. Right, right.

And I had a friend who started a podcast in 2007. Holy crap. He might have been the original one. I was on talk, blog talk radio. Yeah, yeah, blog talk radio. We started out there too. Yeah, the problem is she quit. Ah.

In the book I talk about that, I call it the Valley of Dead Dreams. The Valley of Dead Dreams. We're on the hillside On the side of the valley We're all pumped up We're feeling great Everything's going to go great And then the work starts

Ah the work Wait there's work We can't just have that vision It all comes And the work starts And sometimes the work just goes on You know how it is You gotta go through the valley, man.

Lots of work, no money. It's like, Nom, you're fighting off the natives and you're swiping through the brush and mud and muck and bugs. And you're trying to find things, you know. And then you come across Marlon Brando and Apocalypse Now. You're like, what the hell is going on with this dude? And he's all saying stuff to you that's weird. And there's no Michelob light or anything at the end of the trail. Damn it.

Ah, really? Hopefully there's some Bud Light for people out there. That's a joke. Ten years from now, people aren't going to get that joke. I know. Pabst Blue Ribbon. Pabst Blue Ribbon, yeah. PBR. That was the beer. It was cheap, so that's what they gave them. And Playboy. You guys got Playboy too. Playboy, yeah.

So there you go. So, yeah. And the other thing is, too, is even once you start being successful, right, through the valley, you've got to start climbing the mountain again, right, on the other side? I always like to say, I stole this from somebody, but for every level, there's another devil. Ah. That sounds like all my marriages. Yeah. Yeah.

For every level, there's another devil. And every marriage sometimes there is too but you know you know it was probably me i'm sure uh i might have been responsibility right i do i do it was it was all me and i've been reminded that often uh but uh no i mean this is really important. I like the Valley analogy, you know, where people go through it. Geez, I mean, 2007, she would have been like a huge podcast. Yes, she would have been like the top of the heap. Yeah, she would have been like Chris Foster, that Rogan guy, Joe Rogan, or whatever his name is. And who else is big in podcasting?

I don't know. There's some other people that are big in it. Dave Rubin, all those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thing is, and that's the whole thing. She got discouraged. She was in the Valley. Things weren't going, you know, as fast as she wanted to go.

And that's the big problem. You know, the whole saying, overnight success only took 20 years. Yeah, the overnight success bit. But it's so true. And if people, you know, get off of that, get off that track and give up, they're never going to be successful. That's true. That's true. You've got to, I mean, you just do the work, man.

And like you say, you've got to start. It's going to be a mess. It's going to be failures. Part of that starting time is working through all that stuff because it's not a perfect sale. Anybody who thinks they're going to have a perfect sale, well, if you get one, I've been ripped off because I've never met anybody who has. I've been looking for one for a long time. You have a unicorn or star on your side somewhere. You talk about in your book the compound effect.

Tell us about what that is. Well, that's the, what we talked about is everything you do compounds. It's a slow, just like interest, it's a slow process. But at the end of the time period, the results are amazing. But you have to stay in the game. You have to keep going every day. And you have to stay in the game you have to keep going every day and you have to keep doing it i always like to say in the book uh count everything because everything counts there you go you know i was reading i was reading in the book uh the art of clear thinking

we were going to have him on earlier this uh thing we mentioned him and you you were in the air force so i brought that up but he was talking about something about how also with the compounding, there's something called, I make it this wrong, the Prater effect. But basically, it's kind of like Moore's Law or something, where the compounding effect really starts to capitulate and amplify itself. Right. It seems like he had mentioned the Prater effect. I was trying to remember the

term but uh uh where all the work that you've been doing like you're talking about in in in compounding really starts the landslide really starts to snowball absolutely and then it really begins to scale on you and and half the time you're just holding on for dear life at that point going no what do we do um and so that makes all the differences so you talk about how uh every action moves you forward towards that every action everything counts i mean it's all about the activity and people forget about if you're going to go to the gym you got to count reps right if you're going to lose weight you got to count calories if you're going to make sales, you've got to count sales calls. If you're going to get married, you've got to kiss enough girls, right?

Yeah, there you go. It's just something you've got to just go do the work. Do the work. Go for the long ball. If you get rich overnight, hey, God bless you. You hit a lottery. But there were times where I created like was it four or five successful profitable businesses in a row small businesses and i thought i was a god i was just like smacking balls and then one day we got uh we we we were involved with the business and and the owner uh i guess did a bunch of cocaine one day and

bought himself two ferrars with everyone's money. And, the FCC came in and shut, uh, his company down that we were a subcontractor of and, uh, vessel went out the door. You know, we started finding out that, you know,

I, I just kind of got lucky. And, uh, so, you know, not everything is a perfect run. You talk about the law of association.

Let's dig into that a little bit. Well, that's what, one of the acronyms I like to use is called make sure they're in the right gang ah and that's your goal the bloods are crips gold the gold achieving nudging group ah there you go okay because you know it's your connections who you associate with was it uh the guy named charles tremendous jones was a famous speaker back in the day used to say Your life will be determined in five years by two things

two things The books you read and the people you associate with and the story, you know, and you don't find millionaires, you know Billionaires hanging around with skid row bums Unless it's Christmas and they're related to them or something like that. Yeah, that sounds like my family. Yeah. No, I have a nice family. There you go.

Yeah, there you go. We all have the one or two in the black sheep. Oh, we got one or two of those. In fact, I think I am the black sheep. I think that's the way it's worked out. If you're dressed in black, you're all set. Well, you know, that's slimming. I know.

But, you know, you bring up a good point. A lot of people discuss this. You are the five people you surround yourself with. The sum of the five people you surround yourself with. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Which I'm surrounded by dogs, which are huskies.

So that explains why I'm covered in fur. Probably don't have a girlfriend probably either. Yeah. And I mean, I can't afford one. And most women hate dogs. So no, they don't. That's not appropriate. They like the animals. um yeah and i i mean i can't afford one and most women hate dogs so no no that's like they like the animals they like the animals more than me is the problem that's what it is uh they're like you guys are cute he's smelly and old and i'm just like well i mean she has a point

so uh you know having and plus who you know and have who you have around you affects your mindset absolutely that's what you think about talk about you know and who you have around you affects your mindset. Absolutely. Affects what you think about, what you talk about. You know, I used to have this business partner and he liked his family a lot. He was a bit of a redneck and I was a white collar dude. But he was a good business partner and friend for 20 years. But he loved to go back to his, his, uh, redneck families, uh, farms on weekends.

And he, and he would always be, Hey, Chris, go with me. And we used to go with him and they would sit around and, you know, they always have like some really weird anti-government things, you know, Illuminati on the government's doing this sort of thing. And they're, they're trying to take away, change the word, you know, that sort of whatever. They're just drinking beers. And you go down there and like literally you could record one weekend of

stupid conversations about the government and I don't know, whoever else is, you know, trying to do whatever. The UN's trying to do this. And you could record that whole weekend and then you could play it for the next 50 fucking weekends and it would be the same thing that they would talk about every time.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And after a while, I said to him, I said, man, I love you as a friend, but I'm going mental. I'm looking at your family. Yeah, I just, I mean, I know you love them, but they're your family, not mine. Right. And so I had to stop going. But, I mean, you, and it affected his mindset over the years. It really did.

Well, that's part of who affects your mind, your peers, your family, you know, besides the media and everything else. It's, it's, and, and figuring out how they affect your mindset's crucial. Yeah. Because if you don't, then you make a lot of mistakes. Yeah. I'm going to tell you how, how about if I give people the big secret right now? Sure. Let's do it so one of one of the chapters is about mastermind groups and the new book is

about mastermind groups which are on next year but years ago I before I wrote my first book I decided I was going to write a book and I was going to do some speaking and training and things like that and I'm written to this woman who was a professional speaker and trainer and things like that and i ran into this woman who was a professional speaker and trainer and she wanted to start a mastermind group so we said we'll have coffee we'll we'll start a group and that'll help both of us and the people in the group move forward well come go make a long story short you know that that affiliation lasted for about seven years oh wow yes uh many people had said i want to be part of your group there's only ended up being two of us would say

i want to be part of your group they come they wouldn't come back they come once or twice and i'm too busy well yeah we're not busy but you are and um so for seven years I've got my first book done and a lot of other projects done for both of us. So what we did is we would meet once a month. We'd sit down and say, here's my goals. Here's your goals. We had copies of each other's goals. Then we wrote a check for $500 post-dated 30 days to the other person. And if you didn't do your goals,

they got to have the 500 bucks. And it works. There you go. So accountability then. Accountability is probably number one. And recently I've been screwing around and was going to buy a van for my business for advertising purposes. And I've been looking for two years.

I mean, come on. So finally I said to Justin, one of my staff, I said, if I don't get a van within the next 10 days, I'm giving you $1,000. Wow. I had a van within the next three days. Because he wouldn't help me to it. I don't blame him. And I said, sorry, Justin, you can pick out the mag wheels,

but you're not getting $1,000. Oh, man. Poor Justin. Wow. So, I mean, if you can pick out the mag wheels, but you're not getting a thousand bucks. Oh, man. Poor Justin. Wow. So, I mean, if you really want to do something, you've got to build that accountability in. You do. You know, accountability was, I was supposed to write my book for 10 years, and I finally, me and my little friends joined a little accountability group, and we were like, we're going to write

every day for an hour a day. And I owe them a lot, because they kept my feet to the fire, kept me inspired. And we'd have little meetings and be like, how are you doing in your book? And we'd read it to each other and share notes. And I was really good at keeping my feet to the fire. And then it kind of, you know, for a while there, I was just kind of, you know, going through the motions. Okay, let's do an hour. And then it just caught fire in me where I was just like, oh, wow, I really like what I'm writing about.

This is really taking off. You know, here it's finally clicking. I'm getting it. And then, you know, one hour went from one hour to three hours to 18 hours to, you know, where I became Jack Nicholson in The Shining going, oh, we're going to play Jack and Dole Boy. And they're like, you should probably back off a little bit. And then came the editing part. Still scarred from that. So,

yeah, this is something that's really important where people can form mastermind groups. So you teach people how to do it? You recommend people do these mastermind groups? Absolutely. That's actually a mastermind group outline on my website. If they go, it's a free document they can get

that gives you 10 steps to starting a mastermind group. That's at DennisPicardy.com. And so accountability, when you're young, you have your mom and dad to kick you in the butt. You have your coaches and your teachers, and maybe you have a good boss later on. Once you lose that, especially if you're self-employed, if you're on your own maybe you have a good boss later on if you once you lose that especially if you're self-employed if you're on your own or you're a salesperson or you're

self-employed or an entrepreneur there's nobody around to kick in the butt and so you know we need that no matter who it is the other thing is i think you need to one of the acronyms i i did remember the old one kisses keep it simple stupid Keep It Simple, Stupid? Keep It Simple, Stupid, yeah. Well, I changed that. I called it KISSES, Keep It Simple, Sustainable, Easy, and Supported. I like that. And the supported is your mastermind group, your coach, your goal buddy, your mentor. Whoever's going to kick you in the ass is going to say, suck it up, cupcake.

Let's go. Yeah. The accountability is everything. It made all the difference's go. Yeah. Accountability is everything. It made all the difference for me. I probably need it back again. I need to write more and do more stuff. I mean, it was so good for me to have a competition, have other people.

Absolutely. So if you give me a $1,000 check, I'll hold it for you. Oh, okay. Well, there you go. We didn't really have a deal. We had some sort of thing at the end where, don't know somebody have to buy somebody dinner or something or something like that i don't know whatever works yeah whatever works i mean at first it was just kind of fun and we were you know using to keep inspired because you know when you first start

writing it's kind of lonely you're just kind of like right well this uh i don't know what's going on with this and you know we could run stuff by each other and things. Master the power of deliberate practice. Let's touch on that a little bit here. That was deliberate practice comes from the research. There's a book called Peak, and it comes from the research, and the name will come to me in a second. Erickson. K. Anders Erickson, Peak Performance, correct.

Yeah. And he talks about the fact that most people, and this is really important, that most people aren't savants or, you know, protégés or whatever. It's all about practice. He talks, and one of the things he talks about in there was Mozart. Heart he said well people thought well 12 14 mozart was this genius but the reality is his father was a music teacher his sister was into music and so by the time he was three he was already doing music by the time he was 12 he had 10 years of music at a time of your life where your uh your brain is absolutely the the most malleable and so it just yeah he just sucked all you know sucked all that in they say if you want to teach

a kid three languages you teach them while they're young yeah so that's when we're most likely to learn things and so that's what deliberate practice is about it's about that but it's also about he talked in the book about making those small small tweaks so like if you're a swimmer you know and you're counting your strokes but you have to move your hand like this much difference that can change the whole game and it's and you practice just that or if you're a speaker or whatever you just practice just those sections and you get coached it's a lot of work but if you really want to get to that level that's when you do it the good news is we can all without having to do crazy stuff we can improve tremendously just with a little bit of coached good practice. There you go. And sometimes it's those small tweaks that make all the difference.

Absolutely. Yeah. Sometimes it's, you know, just the difference of, I was, I was reading something that, uh, if you take your speed to a certain level, if you're driving a vehicle and you take your speed to a certain level, it's, it's, it'll, it's, it's a, it's a, you're going to get a better result than if you go faster. Correct. And you kind of lose the value, the momentum or something.

It's beyond my pay grade, clearly. So this has been pretty insightful, man, Dennis. I'm really excited to see your next book come out. Anything more you want to tease out on the book before we go? How about read it? Buy and read it. Buy and read it. Buy and read it. Darn it.

There's a promotion on right now, so it's on sale right now for a promotion. So it's great to go to Amazon and get it. You know, if I can say anything, I just say think of what you want to do. Understand the valley of dead dreams that you're going to have your highs and lows and your peaks and valleys, and you have to just keep going. There was a famous quote by Calvin Coolidge about persistence. And I remember 25 or 30 years ago exactly where I was standing in my office when I read that. And it talked about nothing matters except persistence.

And I said to myself, you know what? I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I read that. And it talked about nothing matters except persistence. And I said to myself, you know what? I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I can persist. And that's really probably the number one. Look at you, how long you've been going. Yeah, I just keep persisting at it. Just keep persisting. Someday we'll get good at this. Right.

A little practice. A lot of practice. No. Yes, yes. You know, I mean, there is. I mean, I go listen to the shows that we do one or two years ago, and I'm just like, seriously? What the hell is going on there?

And we try and get better and better. We try and get our guest coach to be better and better. We just put out like a new rider that seems to be kicking and getting everybody, oh, okay, we got to show up on the thing. And so, yeah, you're just always tweaking and trying to make it better. And I love the brilliant guests that come on the show. And the education that I get,

you know, we learn so many cool things, especially about history and how to just be better people. And there's so many different variations on a life. And our audience is amazing because they just, I mean, they're so brilliant right now. They're like those giant aliens with the big heads at this point. Absolutely. And our audience is amazing because they just, I mean, they're so brilliant right now. They're like those giant aliens

with the big heads at this point. Yes. I keep, mine's mostly in the back so people don't see it unless I turn my head. Well, okay. So there you go. Yeah, that's the secret. It gets lost in the green screen. I paint the back of my head green so I don't have that whole, there's a whole alien

head back thing. And it's my lizard skin too um so order it up folks wherever fine books are sold suck it up cupcake stop screwing yourself and get the life you want available july 26 2022 uh and wherever fine books are sold thank you very much jess for coming on the show we really appreciate it thanks. Thanks, Chris. My pleasure. There you go. And thanks, for tuning in. Be good to each other. Stay safe, and we'll see you guys next time. And you can send me that check for a thousand

bucks, and I'll hold you accountable, too. Oh, that's right. Okay, yeah. It might bounce. It's in the mail. It's in the mail. Check it out. All right. Thank you very much, folks, for tuning in. We'll see you next time.