The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Superbold: From Under-Confident to Charismatic in 90 Days by Fred Joyal

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

Superbold: From Under-Confident to Charismatic in 90 Days by Fred Joyal https://www.amazon.com/Superbold-Under-Confident-Charismatic-90-Days/dp/1544523076 Fredjoyal.com Boldness is a superpower. Bold individuals seize life in remarkable, almost unbelievable ways. They succeed in business, in careers, and in love, and they have a great time doing it. Bold people walk up to supermodels and ask them to dance. They stand in front of audiences and tell jokes. They start companies. They run for president. What surprises most people is that boldness can be taught. Fred Joyal started as an extremely shy person, too timid even to make a phone call, and transformed himself into someone who has done stand-up and improv comedy, spoken to audiences of 5,000 or more, met dozens of celebrities, and, just by being bold, found love, joy, passion, and success. And he can teach you how. Superbold gives you a systematic, step-by-step approach that can take you to a surprising level of boldness in as little as ninety days. Ready to stop living a life of regrets and missed opportunities? It's all possible—faster than you think.About the author Fred Joyal is an author, speaker, entrepreneur, and business advisor. Along with a lucrative career in advertising and marketing, he co-founded the most successful dentist referral service in the country, 1-800-DENTIST. He has written two books on marketing, dabbled in stand-up and improv comedy, acted in bad movies and excellent TV commercials, and visited over forty-four countries around the world. He has an honorary Doctor of Arts degree from the University of Rhode Island, perhaps because of his generous donations. He once beat Sir Richard Branson in chess and was also a question on Jeopardy!. He is an avid cyclist, a below-average tennis player, and an even worse golfer.

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Because you're about to go on a moment. Monster Education Roller Coaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, August of Oz, here from thecris Foss Show.com. Ladies, gentlemen, the early season that makes official. Welcome to the big show. As always, Chris Voss shows and family for 16 years and over 24 episodes and bringing the Chris Voss show.

We just launched it into our 17th year yesterday. Well, hold on. I think it was the 18th. I don't know, something like that. Anyway, it's always in August. Anyway, thanks for us for tuning in. Refer to the show to your family, friends and relatives, damn it. For 16 years, what are we got to do to impress you people? You've got a kiddreads.com, forces Chris Voss.

LinkedIn.com for us as Chris Voss, 1, the Sictococity, and Facebook.com for just Christos. Opinions expressed by guests on the podcast are solely their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host or the Chris Foss show. Some guests of the show may be advertising on the podcast, but it is not an endorsement or review of any kind. Today's featured author comes to us from Books to Lifemarketing.co.com. With expert publishing to strategic marketing, they help authors reach their audience and maximize their book's success. Today, an amazing young man on the show. Fred Joyle joins us on the show. His book is called Super Bold, from Underconfident to Charismatic in 90 days. Out September 15th, 2021.

We're going to get into with him and find out how you can. could be super bold. Now, we're not, you know, the first step is to bathe daily so you don't smell super bold. And I think that is, I think that one of the rules? I don't know. We'll find out. That's what we have on the show. Brad Joel is a keynote speaker and best selling author and lifelong entrepreneur. People tell me I always smell bold, but that's why I'm still single. He co-founded one 800 dentists. That's awesome, which became the world's largest dentist's referral service, generating an aggregate of over $1 billion in revenue while he was CEO and lots of people doing that gas, that gas stuff. That's always fun that high you get from the gas.

Anyway, his latest book is super bold from underconfident to charismatic in 90 days, which I clearly need, is a Wall Street Journal and a Amazon bestseller. His humble brags are, he blew the last question as a guest on, are you smarter than a fifth? fifth grader losing 250 grand and he once beat sir branson in chess welcome the show how are you friend i'm i'm awesome chris i'm excited to be here and then chat on your phenomenal show yeah did just go slap that fifth grader who uh you lost to is that i would have fortunately it wasn't like a match against the fifth grader okay all right but i do you do get at the end of it i had to say uh you know I may be the CEO of 800

dentists, but I am not smarter than a fifth grader. They make you say that. Did it really? Yeah, it's really funny. Good one. Video for everyone to see for all attorney. Wow. That's as bad as when I tried Onlyfans for five minutes. No, I'm just kidding.

So anyway, give us a $30,000. Do we get your dot coms? Let's get a dot com where people can find you on the internet, please. Yeah, Fredjoil.com is my website and all my handles everywhere. J-O-Y. A.A.L. Like Royal. And it's out there. And, you know, easy to find. So give us the 30,000 overview. What's inside your book? It is a systematic way that anyone can increase their boldness

faster than they imagined possible. The premise is that boldness is not a personality trait. It's a life skill that you can learn. And it has a tremendous impact on every aspect of your life if you develop this skill. So what is boldness in your definition and being super bold, as it were? Boldness is all about action. A lot of times people think confidence and boldness are the same thing. Confidence is how you feel about yourself and you may or may not ever take action. It's how you strut around the world, how you present yourself.

boldness is all about action it's what you do the the the times you step up you speak up the risks you take the challenges you take on and and bringing your full self out to the world and that being super bold is really just saying I'm comfortable wherever I am even if you don't deep down feel that way you present that way and what happens is your life becomes that way people respond to that they really do i mean i do that i do that throughout my life i like i kind of like to entertain people it's kind of want to have a podcast uh and i have issues i'm kind of like a comedian if you laugh at my jokes you just you you give me crack fuel in the brain like i'm just like more jokes um and uh you know comedians go through that when they hear the audience laugh

they they they it just becomes a thing well i like to entertain people i've i've i've you You know, sometimes I've had family in the darkest moments in the hospital, and I'll go on and start telling them jokes. And I can tell they're afraid. I'm afraid. And that's kind of how I, I guess the weird way I process shit. But, you know, sometimes in the darkest moments, finding the comedy in life, find the gratitude and the basics, it really helps. But, you know, I can go on to a plane and I can make friends in the aisle. I usually sit down and take command right away.

I can command in an elevator. I usually wherever I go, I'm. I kind of am always working a crowd a little bit, or I'll work the people. And, you know, I just make, I'm just funny. I'm trying to be interesting to people. But, yeah, it takes a little bit of boldness. I mean, most people. Well, you make me, you're making me nervous when you say you take command of the plane.

I mean, you bring a sharp weapon on board with you or something. We don't do that. No, just, just, when I sit down, I'll just shake hands of the two people in my row. And I'll be like, hey, how you doing? I'm Chris Foss. Pleasure to meet you. And I'll start off with a joke. Yeah, you haven't programmed it out of you.

That's the whole thing. Because when you sit down in this and the awkward silence starts, it's hard to cut back into it because everyone kind of isolates mentally. But if you break it on the beginning and people know that you can roll and be funny and be cool and so I can have two whole rows of the plane laughing at my jokes and tune it into me. and waitress has given us free drinks and we're just having a ball. And, you know, the plane flight is so miserable. I mean, I just.

It's not an ideal comfort zone, right? It's not, yeah. But, you know, do you find that you work with people that were introverts? Did you ever deal with that in your life? I've worked with really painfully shy people that I don't want to call it, socially maladjusted, but they're just fearful in public. And I get them out and I start to make them do things out of their comfort zone when there's no real consequences.

I took a young man that I was coaching and I took him into in and out hamburgers, and I said, I want you to shout at the top of your lungs, I love hamburgers. And he did it. And his dad couldn't believe it. He says he never does anything remotely like that. And I, of course, I have a video of him doing it. And of course, nothing happened. People went, yeah, me too.

Yeah. I was like he was really uncomfortable doing it until he did it and realized there were no negative consequences. And that gave him just a little bit more move in the direction of boldness. Yeah. You know, I grew up an introvert. I grew up watching very quiet, had a very crazy childhood, and I grew up watching people and being very quiet because it's my only way to survive because, you know, I grew up in a cult and I very early age figured out that these people are full of shit and they want me to believe

it. And so I learned to just isolate and kind of like, you know, stoicism and and just watch people and try and figure out this fucking game that was being played. And, you know, in life, you're trying to figure out life. And, you know, people were like, when did you become a big mouth and have all this charisma, I guess? I don't know. And it was like, well, I became a CEO. You had to start selling everything when you were a CEO of a company. I started my first company 18.

So I went from the introvert to the big mouth because I had to. You had to sell the employees. You had to sell your vision. You had to sell the investors your vision. You had to sell your vendors, your vision. You had to constantly be selling it. And so you're always talking to the people. You're doing the company newsletter.

You're leading, you know. And it just became a thing because it had to be, right? You know, that's what a CEO does all day. He's walking around, touching the hearts and mind of his people and trying to inspire them and motivate them. And, you know, that's what you do as a coach. I mean, the coach doesn't sit in the sidelines and say nothing. Maybe Andy Reid does. I don't know.

He's pretty quiet. But, so tell us what, now, you talk about going from underconfident to charisma. What is charisma to you? How does that, how does that show up? Is that kind of in the same vein of what bold, we've been talking about with boldness? Charisma is really just when you're comfortable wherever you are. Yeah. And people see that and they're drawn to that.

And that you're bringing your full self and you are, unabashed about that full self. You may be really weird or unusual or whatever or or you may actually be something that a lot of people are drawn to, but you don't care. You're not worried about every person's opinion. There's a small number of people whose opinions matter to you. But you're not trying to be the life of the party. You're trying to chase your dreams. yeah and if and what however that engages the world that's what you're going to do and that and people are just drawn magnetically to that they are i mean people people are drawn to a leader and i think some of that's leadership would you say some of that oh yeah in a way i mean if i go i mean i'll walk into a coffee shop and i'll just start wrapping with

the the attendant and it's a short little exchange but i make it interesting and and i do it because i'm bored And the other thing is, too, is I hate that tension of quietness where we all pretend, you know, that's that elevator tension. I remember when I was younger, I saw Stephen, what's his last name? But he does those bits where he's like, I put the slinky down the elevator and I spent last night trying around off infinity. And he did this thing. Steve Wright. Steve Wright. He's so amazing.

And I remember seeing him when I said out when he first came out. and that's how old I am. What's his, what's his, Saturday Life Kids? And so there was one of his jokes where he talked about how he would go into the elevator

and stand there funny, really quiet, and he goes, did you guys have your grandfather practiced this? Or did you guys practice this elevator, silence, you know? And it's just weird. It just feels weird.

It feels inhuman. And so, And I find people curious. I have a real curiosity for people. What was it? John King? Who's the guy who used to be on CNN all the time? The great radio guy, King.

I'm horrible with names. Can you tell? Yeah, yeah. And I can't help you on that one. There you go. I'm screwing both of us up. But, you know, he said, he says, hey, he goes, I talk to people everywhere I go. I love to interview people.

I really do. He just didn't do it for a job. And you collect stories. That's what I am. I'm a story collector. So I like talking to people. Who are you? What do you do?

Why do you do it? And I'm curious about that because I'm bored with me. I know all the stupid shit about me. I'm over it. And so I think this is a healthy attitude, but you're right. It lights up, I can light up a room. I can get everybody laughing. I can have a whole fucking Starbucks laughing at me.

And it's not that I'm good at jokes or being a comedian. Sometimes I'm just say some things that, you know, people are thinking. You'd be stuck in a line. You know, you want to claw your face off at the store or something. And, you know, I just turn and look at people's groceries or look at something on the thing. And I'll be like, hey, that made for TV product probably is not good for you. Yeah, people allow them because they thought the same shit. But they're kind of like too introverted to say it or they've kind of been taught to have this weird silent tension.

Yeah, to not speak until they were spoken to or whatever. They don't want to, you know, we're deeply committed in our DNA to not stand out because, you know, on the African plane, if you stood out, you know, you got booted from the tribe and basically you were dead. Something was going to eat you or another tribe was going to enslave you or kill you. So fitting in is really important. And the way people do that most of the time is by playing. it's safe by being quiet by not standing out. And I just say, is that what you want on your tombstone? I played it safe right to the end because that's where all the regret comes. At the end of your life, you go, I should have lived the life I wanted to instead of the ones people expected of me.

That's really the number one regret people have on their deathbed, is not living their own life. Yeah. And in charisma, how do you, develop that if you i mean does everyone kind of have some value of charisma i think they're they have the ability to summon it but they have to build their boldness which boldness builds like a muscle it builds because you do things that make you uncomfortable just like when you're working out in the gym you if if you had a comfortable workout you didn't work out you know so so you're straining yourself and it's the same thing with boldness you You do bold things when the stakes are really low.

Like talking to people in an elevator. Nobody's going to beat you to death for doing that in the elevator. I mean, they probably feel like beating you to death sometimes, Chris, by the... Over the bad jokes, usually. By the 30th floor, it's like they organize and tie you up and gag you. That's easy. What happens is a bigger building. But as you build your boldness, you become more and more comfortable.

wherever you are. And that's when you start to feel that charisma. It's a feedback loop because bold action comes with all these positive rewards. When you don't stop yourself, you realize nobody else is stopping me. I had it in my head that somebody's going to stop me. Oh, I can't go there. I can't do this. I can't try that.

Bold people have figured out 99% of the time nobody stops. you. So they'll walk backwards into a nightclub, you know, and get in, you know, and so they, you know, because why we create rules that don't exist all around us to keep us from having a fulfilling life is what it boils down to. And life will pass you by, man. Yeah, it will. And being able to kind of, I think a portion of that comes into the values of leadership. I mean, I just, I just, I just get bored. Like, you know, I mean, I've, I'll stand in the line at Walmart and, you know, maybe something's going on with the checker or it's a new checker. You know, for some reason, there's some long line. There's no other lines that seems to be popular these days.

And, and, you know, everyone's like, you know, they're feeling angry and pissed off and you're like, I just got to stand this line. And I'm like, you know, I could feel that way about this moment right now. But let's bring, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's bring some brevity to it. Let's make it fun. I mean, I just, I'm just like, let's break the tension and, you know, maybe say when everyone's thinking, oh, this is what I like to do. I like to come here and just stand in line. I'm not really buying any groceries. I just had nothing better to do. Yeah, I like to meet people. Yeah, I like to meet people. I'll look in their car and I'll be like, oh, you know, what are you doing with that vegetable? The, what's that? What's that? You know, so I'll do stuff. And you know, that's funny is people really appreciate it. I mean, they'll laugh. They're like, oh, God, somebody who's making it less painful.

Yeah. And, you know, I remember I called my dad one time. He was in the hospital and he was going in for multiple part attacks and strokes. And this was a really bad one. They pulled them back from, he was kind of, they say he turned gray. I was out of state, so I didn't see it, but he said he turned gray and whatever he'd done,

he hadn't been taking his medicines and he had and he'd gone to the point of almost no return with his system and chemicals and stuff. And so they they pulled him back and I think he'd had a stroke. I could tell him his voice, he was really afraid

of dying and he was really fearful and I called into him and I was scared too. And my response was I just jumped into starting telling just the most awful jokes ever because that's usually how it begins. And you don't have to be that funny. You just have

to say something. You just have to lead or, you know, sometimes a stupid joke i learned this from norm macdonald a lot of great comedians sometimes you die to kill as they call on comedy so you tell a stupid-ass joke that's just dumb it's just you know it's not offensive it's just you know you don't let anyone out there just to kind of test the eyes and uh and you know a lot of people just they'll laugh you know they'll sometimes it's your little courtesy laugh like ha ha yeah funny boy right there and then uh you know some you find some material to work on the, you know, I usually, you'll make fun of the TV, made for TV, Walmart stuff that's

there, you know, the old Ronco crap used to see on infomercials, you know, like, I don't think that really works. Is that really the work? You think that works? People like, ah, I bought that ones. That didn't work. And you'll see people start coming out of their shells. And it sure just beats sitting there in the miserable silence and just agony and just sitting

there with, you know, negative thoughts in your head going, I fucking hate flying. I do. used to be yeah i mean it's you're you've learned to commiserate with people uh wherever you are and and that people enjoy they admire that that's part of the charisma is they admire that you're just comfortable chatting in an elevator uh then they go like they almost start to ask themselves what what what is the deal with the elevator silence where that rule i'm looking for the sign that says no talking uh you know and so you know I was on an elevator once, and it's just that we're in this together, and this woman and I were riding up with this third guy.

He gets out on another floor, and I just turned to her, and I said, that was a lot of cologne, wasn't it? And she goes, yeah, she says, yeah, I thought it was just me, but wow, that was, I don't think he knows how much he's putting on. It's just a great moment, you know, instead of just standing there silently. You know, one of the things we talk about on the show is part of stories and telling stories, and that's what the podcast is. It's a giant riot of a collection of people coming and telling their stories, and we learn, it's the owner's manual to life, that's how we learn life through stories. And sometimes, you know, the biggest aspect is realizing we're not alone. You know, people get depressed and they self-harm and do things themselves sometimes because they're so isolated and they've isolated themselves so much that they don't, they don't they think it's just them like they think the world is just trying to destroy them and everybody else is just living this panacee of great life and there's no problems you know and everybody's got problems and so by telling our stories we realize we're not alone and i think that's kind of what the segments are in those moments you're talking about now some people are afraid to be embarrassed or they're afraid to flop i mean i've flop sometimes and sometimes they just go get another joke or i try and do something else and something

And a lot of people, they'll be like, okay, hey, he's a funny guy, all right. He's just, you know, because the first joke sometimes cracks it and they're just like, are we supposed to laugh at a stupid joke? Is that okay? Is that against Walmart? Was that a joke? Yeah, right. Yeah. And so, so tell us about that.

I mean, how, what if you're afraid to be embarrassed? What if you're afraid to fail? You know, all look stupid if I just say something. Yeah, it's, the thing is embarrassment is actually a choice. whatever happens you can choose to be embarrassed or not you know you can spill wine on yourself you know at a meal and and you can say oh no no you got to go home or you can say casually this is why my dry cleaner loves me and and then wear it the rest of the day you say I didn't have a tie so I tried to create a pattern on my shirt whatever you've

moved away because we get trapped in this oh we have to be perfect as if any one of us is and so when you show your human side your comfort with being imperfect and being clumsy and being doing something embarrassed just because you did something stupid doesn't mean you are stupid it doesn't mean you're clumsy all the time it doesn't mean you're an idiot all the time you did something quote, embarrassing, but you chose not to take it on. That's a real transition when you can let

that go. You're not so attached to you. I need to look perfect. I need to not stand out and embarrass myself. Bold people it's like, you'll do this. I know you're doing this. You're deliberately embarrassing yourself, except you're not embarrassed about it.

Yeah. I don't give a fuck. You kind of have to send it out. I would rather have people laugh at my jokes. and I would be able to maybe improve the quality of their life. You know, it's a pass-along sort of mentality, you know. I used to, my Starbucks that I used to go to when I went to Starbucks, don't do that, people, make your own expresso at home. The, when I used to go to Starbucks, you know, there was a line in,

I don't know what it was about my Starbucks, but it was in Vegas on the east side, or the west side. And so there would always be somebody who paid a forward, right? So you'd always pull up and they'd be like, the guy behind your front of you paid for your buddy you want to do you want to keep the you know passing along whatever it's called and I'm like yeah yeah yeah as long as it's under 20 bucks I don't want to pay for more than 20 bucks because I'm cheap yeah yeah and uh I'm kidding I just we just pass it along it was it was really always fun you're like somebody bought my coffee

wait hold on um the uh and so to me this is passing up forward and to me you've got got a, you know, one of my belief systems is chase light around the world, looking at light and available light. We have a very limited amount of time. I'm going to try and enjoy myself here. And sometimes, you know, what comedians do is we suffer the biggest depression. We have the, sometimes the, this is how we, this is how we self-heal ourselves in psychology. And we tell jokes and we make people laugh. And sometimes I can be miserable and I can go into a place. I'm like, I'll tell some jokes to make people laugh. And then I'll feel better.

And then they'll feel better. And we just pay it forward. And, boy, God, it sure beats that death rattle, you know, funeral line that, you know, you're in at Walmart and Starbucks. And it's just, you're just sitting there thinking angry thoughts and you're bitter because, you know, you're, you know, there's 10 people in line and someone's trying to use coupons from 1979. And they're arguing with that. And you want to choke.

And you're just like, okay, I can choose violence and negativity or I can, you know, I can inspire some people. And, you know, it's a tool that comes really in handy. You know, when you have to walk around the office and try and touch the hearts and minds of people, I watch major CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. They spend the day, you know, spend a couple hours of the board, they spend touching base with the management team. And they spend, you know, the front line, they go down to the front line and just meet with people. You've got to like people you've got to be interested in people you have to care um i always forget the name of the great insult comedian he used to do don rickles don rickles and i've always loved don rickles and don used

always say you know you can insult people you can even be you know what a lot of people see as racist sometimes you know you can hit stereotypes but he goes the difference is is people can tell if you really mean it as an insult or if you really care about them as a human being and you're just trying to make them laugh and entertain them and it really is a developed trick because i mean i've seen people go and try and be funny and they're just being really fucking insulting and they think that they're pulling don rickles but people have to feel that that you care and and that's a real big difference too because when they sense that then they're like whatever because I've been in situations where I'm being insulting because

someone has crossed the line with me on customer service or they're not quite getting the point of customer service you know so I I know the difference between Chris Voss doesn't give a fuck anymore and he's insulting you because he wants you to know you're stupid um because you've done something stupid to Chris Voss and you know it has to be something big uh but uh people have to sense that I don't know what your thoughts are now well and the other thing is when you when you do what you do, you're changing their body chemistry. When we feel more connected to people, that changes what's the hormones that are flowing through our system. And for those people who can't

summon the jokes as rapidly as you, which is probably most people. They're all bad jokes too. Yeah. Well, that's when you just lower the bar for yourself and lower and lower until you've got something. But you can just compliment people. Just offer a nice little compliment, and it has the same effect. It's like, hey, those glasses look great on you. I don't know where you found them, but they really match your face. Just do what I call a drive-by compliment. You're not trying to pick them up.

You're not trying to meet them or sell them real estate. You're just doing a little human connection. What happens is you both get a dopamine hit out of it. And why? So why not be that? Why not be the voice of upliftment? out there. The voice of reason. And it helps yourself. I mean, it's kind of self-serving. I mean, you might, what about, what about people who call this sort of thing narcissistic? I mean,

I, I think we're all, we all have a tendency of a little bit of narcissism. You know, if you're masculine, you have some dark triad traits. But, but, and some people might say, well, you're, Chris, you're a narcissist. You run around think you're funny and trying to entertain people and jokes are dumb. And yeah, whatever. I'm not doing stand-up. You're not paying me. So, Fuck off. But what about this? It's free. We're not charging for these jokes.

So, you know, people, I get complaints every now and then about talking too much on a show. And usually it's because I had to carry the author. And, is that why you're talking so much?

Are you carrying me, Chris? No, I'm not, in this show I'm not carry you. I'm actually just owning your content with the, I'm exempling. You are the exemplar of boldness,

which is true, that you were exactly that people they should learn to emulate you because you're not a narcissist a narcissist is just somebody who's so insecure and so selfish that they can't care about anybody else and that's very different than somebody who's bold somebody who's bold is chasing their dreams and they want to take as many people along with them they want as many people that they don't have schadenfreude they don't they don't need somebody to lose for them to win They like it when other people win too. And they're like, I'll ride back and get you.

Let's go together. Let's have fun. A rising tide lifts all boats. Yeah. Yeah. You have something called Carpe momentum. What is that? So you hear people say Carpe Diem all the time, which is, you know, seize the day.

And I say, you know, that's really Latin for crappy advice in my mind, because most of the time, we don't have all day to respond to an opportunity many times like you see somebody like somebody on the street sees chris voss across the street or in starbucks and they go oh i really want to talk to him but you know he doesn't want to talk to me i'm not funny i'm not interesting and they have all these stories and they let you disappear and and so we we get trapped in this this loop of oh i i'm I'm not worthy. And so what you have to do is break free from that so that you can just seize the moment. Because you don't have all most of the time.

Most of the great things that happen to you, sometimes it's a split second. It's a yes or a no. Go back to are you smarter than a fifth grader when I was on that show? I had a split second to say yes or no to Jeff Foxworthy on whether I could do that last question. Oh, really? And I didn't get it, but I could live with not getting it. I couldn't live with not trying. And also, because I went for the last question, they repeated that episode endlessly because most people don't go for it. And I happen to have an 800 Dennis shirt on. So I got like a million dollars of free publicity, even though I blew the question. So that's a seize the moment. Step up. Say yes.

Take a risk. Don't overthink it. Sees the moments. And that's really it too. Like one of the things I try and do is I try and break the tension early. If I go on the plane and I sit there for an hour and then I decide to light up, not that kind of light up people. I just realized when I said that, you can't do that on planes anymore. There used to be a day.

But when I start up, then it becomes weird. Because people are like, what's going on? how come this weirdo just started talking to everybody but no the benefits you get from it too and not only just uplifting society rising tide lifts all boats is you'll get goodies sometimes i mean i don't do it for goodies but like i've had i've had hold two rows of planes laughing at me and people in the other parts of plane are like what the hell's going on in the back everyone's laughing their ass off which is something you never hear on a plane no and a lot of times like the the waitress will bring my row free drinks. Sometimes I'll buy them free drinks just to get everything moving and lubricated. But, uh, and then, you know, then they'll laugh at my stupid jokes, but that's why comedy clubs require you a two drink minimum. Two drink minimum. They don't want you know getting free drinks. So, you know, and I've had, I've had them giving drinks to everybody and like the two rows laugh around me and having fun. And they're just so happy

to have happy people on the plane and not have to deal with the misery and, Yeah, and I think the stewardesses are happy, too. And most people are. And, like, you know, so I'm at Starbucks, hey, you want an extra biscuit, you know, or whatever the hell it is, donut. We got these donuts. You want someone?

You made everybody laugh, you know? And so I don't do it for that, but sometimes it's kind of nice. Sometimes you meet people. Sometimes people come up to you and like, hey, what's your name and what do you do? And what's the podcast, you know, they always, they'll see the hat. So people should learn to practice this. If they read your book, they can practice it. Let's get into some.

How did you learn to be this way? Did you grow up an introvert? Did you have issues like I didn't know when I was John? Yeah, I was very much like you. I was a painful introvert. I was, you know, too shy to ask girls out. And I just missed fun and opportunity. And it just frustrated me and made me angry because I kept missing out on so much that I said,

I got to start emulating bold people. even though it makes me really uncomfortable. And what happened is it did make me really uncomfortable, but I got a benefit from it. I got like, oh, and what it did is it made me a little bit more confident. And I figured out, well, if I keep acting bold, even if I'm not confident, I get more confident. And also I get some.

And this is what I tell people is it's bold action builds your confidence. Because they say, well, I'd be more confident. I mean, I'd be bolder if I were more confident. It's like, no, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, if you're doing something because you're confident, it doesn't require any boldness. So, so I want you to be bold when it makes you uncomfortable, but when the stakes are low, like talking to somebody in the elevator on an airplane, there's nothing bad's going to happen. And what happens is you expand your comfort zone so that you are bold when it matters.

You've built this boldness muscle so that when. When, you know, you're at a funeral and they say, does anybody want to say anything? You don't sit there and not get up and not say anything about the pain and loss that you feel and how much you love this person. And then you get a regret that it will gnaw on you. I should have said something. Well, guess what?

You didn't seize the moment. And it went away. They said, all right, if nobody wants to say anything, we'll go on and we'll sing, you know, hallelujah. Yeah. And so, you know, I'll jumpstart things at funeral, and I'll do what you do. I'll be funny at times. And the effect, and you know this, the effect it has on people that you say, you know, let me tell you something about this person that he, you know, he's a great guy, but an extraordinary slob.

And they all go laugh and they go, oh, my God, he was. He was such a slob. They don't care anymore. They just like, they, you know, they want to release, you know, from the grief for a moment. So that's what I want people to do is just do something when, you know, build your boldness when the stakes are low, when the consequences are inconsequential. So that you are bold when it matters, because there will be times when it really matters that you have to act. You have to seize that moment. You have to step up, speak up, tells it, you know, and sometimes it's the boldness to be kind.

Because we sometimes we hesitate from helping somebody out or offering assistance and go, oh, somebody else will help them. You know, I bike ride, I road bike. And if you stop on your bike, almost invariably, somebody, another guy on a bike will slow down and go, you are right yeah because we've all had flat tires and didn't have a pump with us you know um and so that be bold enough to reach out for people offer your arm to to to a woman who's about to cross the street um or help somebody put their suitcase up uh on an airplane don't just stay in there and watch them struggle with it well sometimes it's kind of fun though

You can film that and put on TikTok. You let her do it a little bit before you step up and be kind. You can't waste the comedic moment. Yeah. What you do is you wait until they finally get it in, and it's about to do that final slide in because they finally got the angle, right? And then yell out, hey, do you need help with that? Yes.

That's because deep in your core, you're a very dark evil person. Occasionally, it surfaces apparently. There is some dark. There is some dark. try and psychopathy there. But, you know, I mean, sometimes that's funny. But yeah, it's people,

you know, I've never been arrested for bad jokes and being funny. I probably should be, but they haven't created laws yet, so I'm running with it. But no, I mean, the other thing is, too, is it transposes into so much quality into your other life.

You know, if you're a man, if you can get a woman to laugh, you've got a really good chance at not only having a great relationship with her but also you know it's a great way to i mean i've had so many women that i've i've made them laugh that they'll go on another date with me at very least and then later they find out that i have a bold smell and because i don't pay it more than once a week uh but you know and then they figure out that my jokes are bad but you know it you know women have always said you know if you man you find a guy who laughs and and uh something might happen around

here um it it it your employees being a leader with your employees i think being a leader with your employees i think charismatic and being interesting to your children as a parent is important. I was really an interesting child for that. But no, it just transposes into the quality of your life across the board. And then you don't feel isolated. You don't feel introverted. You know, I grew up an introvert. I'm, the reason I've been talking telling my story is to prove to people that you can go from there to hear. You know, there's some people I'll be like, well, I don't do anything because I'm an introvert. You can change it. No, you can.

You are the way you are. You're like, no, I used to be that way. No, they're trapping themselves in their self-definition. You know, I tell people, people say, no, I'm really shy. I say, really, you shy at Thanksgiving dinner? You shy with your best friend, you know, you're shy in the movie theater with all the lights off? No, you laugh out loud. And I said, you exhibit shy behavior.

in certain situations. But if you want to define yourself that way or let other people define you that way, then that is how you're, that is the choice you're going to make in most situations, is to step back to stop yourself and miss out. Hey, life is short. Yeah. You know, it's it, and it can change in a minute.

You can go from healthy to really sick or really injured in a heartbeat. And, you know, I want you seizing those moments because we don't know how long we're in the game of life here. The coach hasn't told us how long we're going to be on the court. So seize those moments, you know, bring your full self out there and stop being trapped by, oh, I'm an introvert. And why let extroverts have all the fun anyway? Jump on. there's no there's as you said there they have written not written the laws yet at least in this country so yeah i think in venezuela now it's not allowed to make people is it really oh well

the madero yeah yeah he's a rough guy yeah you i mean the minaro diet's kind of funny really when you think about it so i think we're starting out with the tariff diet in 2025 anyway jokes aside um the uh so super bold you help tell us what you offer on your website is offering so you do speaking and do you do consulting, coaching, help people crawl to their show? Yeah, so the main thing that I do is keynote speaking. I'll also do longer sessions, and it can either be for anything. I love college students. I'd love for them to seize their boldness before they hit the streets and try to figure out

how to not live with their parents for the rest of their life. but it's primarily i'll speak to an entire team or in you know the whole company or i'll speak to the sales team because you need boldness as you know like you say you got to sell you you know you got to eat when you kill so you're got to be bold enough to go out there and prospect and if you were just 10 20 percent bolder you don't have to be five times bolder than you are now to suddenly have a great career And what happens is you just, you build your confidence as a salesperson by being bolder, by asking for a, for a bigger order.

So I occasionally I'll coach a CEO if he's got enough money. If, you know, if he's, you know, if he's, you know, if he's got leadership challenges, you know, I ran a company with 250 people. And, you know, we peaked out at about $50 million a year. year, but we did it for 20-something years. Is that all? Yeah, I know. I know.

That's pretty awesome. I'm a slacker, you know. I sold out early. But, yeah, and so, and occasionally do workshops, you'll love this in terms of, like, not being embarrassed. The last workshop I did, there was an opportunity that I offered people to do an embarrassment challenge, which was to strip and wear an adult diaper and walk a city block. And we had seven guys willing to do it. And one woman. And she was, can I keep my tights on?

And I said, we got to ask the guys. You know, it's like, and the guys, like, yeah, Leonard keep it. And we did it. We all did it. I said, I'm going to do it. If you guys do it, I'm going to do it. And we did it. And it was, and they came back and they went, that was such a non-event. because they were deliberately being ridiculous. Because one woman actually went by and went, you look ridiculous. And one guy went like, really? How so? I don't know what you mean.

And it was like, yeah. If you act foolish on purpose, then you're getting the expected result. And you realize it means nothing. Yeah. You don't have to take anything on. Yeah. Yeah.

It's the one thing, when I was trying to make earlier, I was trying to lead into, I think, with the story. I need a segue, I guess, too hard, and I'm doing it again. Is it gone again? No, I got it, but I'm just, I don't know why I'm doing more segue jokes on top of segue jokes, but here we are. Anyway, I'm stalling for time, clearly, to remember it. But, you know, Norm MacDonald and who was the great comedian from the show Taxi? He went on to stand up and that wrestling bit, and he would do the bits on the letter,

Andy Kaufman. Andy Kaufman. You need me as your co-host just to offer names. Yeah, just to be my name or for it's... Right, right. I'll just jump in with a name and then I'll go back off camera. And Andy would get up and he would kill on stage or he would die on stage to kill. And if you know the terms of that, to die means you really suck.

Your jokes aren't funny. But to kill means you're really funny. Well, a true comedian that's really good. he can die on stage with his jokes, but people know what he's up to. They know that he's working something. You know, like, I would see Norm MacDonald go on Conan, and he'd read the paper.

You know, Andy Coffin would go up, read the Bible, and then you'd take everyone out for donuts or something. You know, they would do things to kill on stage, and part of it is they're pushing comedy. They're trying to figure out where their limits are and what people will find funny, because you're always trying to, you know, push the new joke. And but learning to tell us bad jokes just to get things rolling.

And then you see once, once something comes out or somebody will say something funny, too. Like sometimes I'll be in a line of Walmart. Somebody, I'll say something about something and somebody will be like, oh, yeah. And I'm like, hey, that's pretty funny. And then I'll try and build on what they have. And it's not really complicated. It's just entertaining yourself through life. It's also about holding frame, too.

I don't know if you think about that when you talk about stuff, but I try and hold frame wherever I'm at. I try to be the guy in the room. I'll go to parties and I'll just start talking to people telling jokes and people come over. And then pretty much I have a whole bunch of people laughing in front of me and I'm getting the juice of people laughing. And it's fun because it's just standing there going, I'm just standing at the party.

Checking out the CD collection. Yeah, it's just miserable, man. It's just miserable. And I get bored, no CD. But it's fun. And, you know, sometimes people say stuff to you. They're like, hey, man, thanks for really doing that, man, because I really hate this. So do I.

Yeah, well, I'll zero in in a party. If I see the wallflower, I go, that used to be me. And I go over and I just chat them up. And I'll drag him into a conversation with two or three other people. and then it's catch and release. It's like, all right, you're fine now. You've got some people to talk to. I could move on.

Because I hate to see people trapped like that. It's so unnecessary. Yeah, it's miserable. You don't want to see people miserable. I think I started telling the story of my dad when I called in and then I get segued. But, you know, I could hear the fear. I was fearful in my voice. And so I started telling just really bad you.

I couldn't come up with anything because I was really afraid. And so was he. And I could hear it in his voice and it was throwing me. And so I started some lame, you know, he's married and he's been married twice for long marriages. And so I started talking about him hitting on the way of the nurses. Like, you know, you got any hot nurses? You hitting on the nurses? It was like a little bar to start with.

And he was like, oh, you know, I was just dying. And I just kept at it and just kept selling stupid hospital food jokes and anything I could pull. And pretty soon I had him laughing. And you could hear the change in his voice. You could hear the fear go away. You could hear him, you know, he kind of, it brought perspective to the situation. And yeah, maybe he was going to be okay. You know, it gave him hope.

I think, you know, that's something I've been tuning into lately as to how humans use hope and how it's probably our most enduring and best trait is being able to find hope in the darkest of moments. And I think that's kind of what sometimes. we do in those moments, we let everybody know, hey, there's hope. We're not alone. We're going to get through this. It's not as bad as we think it is. That or at least we're going to, we're going to survive for another day and things will get better. And so sometimes it's, that's kind of what you're doing. You're kind of patting everybody in the back going, we're going to get through this,

whatever this life thing is, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, I had a close friend of mine passed away this year and in his last few days i was visiting him every day as he was spiraling down and at one point i was sitting there and his brother was in the room too and i just i knew his funny bone and i at one point i just started to tell him this thing that i had done this situation i'd got into and and how badly it went and at one point he just threw his head back and laughed and i went and I went like, that's what I'm looking for. This is the guy I remember. I want, I want him to get one more big laugh out of him.

And, you know, he was gone a couple days later. But that's, that's the image I have in my head is him just laughing. Because, you know, the clock's running out for all of us. Yeah. It's inevitable. Yeah. So, you know, and sometimes it happens soon or not. Somebody can have a car accident and be gone.

You know, I've had friends that, you know, they seem. perfectly healthy and all of a sudden, you know, the cancer things go off the rails. But, you know, being able to give hope, share hope, I think it helps. But it makes such a difference in my life. It makes a difference with women and dating. It makes a difference when I'm in relationships. If I can be entertaining and fun and, you know, I don't always want to be the court jester. You got to make sure, you know, the person's interesting too. I've had girlfriends where I'm like, I'm going to pay to have her kidnapped so that something can happen to her. So she's got a great story to tell me because she's like really...

She's got nothing, right? You got nothing, you know? And part of it is you kind of have to be a person who looks around at your environment. You have to be interested in people. Like you said, you know, sometimes as a comedian, you'll always work the person who's not laughing. That person will bug you. I remember one time I was speaking and it was really bugging me because the first two rows were looking to me like I was a crazy man and like I was an idiot. And they weren't laughing at any of my jokes.

and it really fucked up my whole speech and I got off stage and I go what the hell is with the first two rows they're just looking at me and talking amongst themselves they go that's the deaf crowd Chris we put them in the front row did you not see the signing guy on the side of the stage doing the signing

I was like fuck no wonder they were looking to me and man I tuned into those guys because I was trying everything I could to get those people laugh and evidently I'm not good in the in the deaf You don't, your jokes don't convert to sign language. Yeah, but I'm going to work on that because I want them to laugh too.

So tell people how they can work with you. I see on your website you've got speaking exercises so you can go to the gym and build your comedy comedy comedy. And course, there's something. How does that work? Tell us about that. Yeah. So I'm obviously on the website that's a whole page devoted to the keynotes that I do.

And also, when you go to the website, or I actually have an app, if you just check, go to the app store, there's a Fred Joyle app there. And you can download a PDF that gives you the simple steps to make anyone feel like the most important person in the room. And it's actually so much easier than you realize. And I've just seen, you know, we see people do it. And they're like, why do I suddenly feel so great? And it's because of these very basic things that they do. And it's just a learnable skill. I mean, you have it naturally.

You know, it's like you've been doing it. I developed it, though. Yeah, but you didn't know, you know, you developed it just because you, you were pushing your envelope. You said, like, I want this feedback loop. I want people laughing. I want them comfortable around me. And so I'm just trying to get people jump started so that they can build the momentum on who they want to be.

I mean, they may not want to be funny. They may want to start a business. Hey, it takes boldness to start a business. You don't know how it's going to go. Shit's going to come at you like you couldn't possibly conceive. And you'd never start a business if you knew what was probably coming. But you do it. And you know what?

you're glad you did you are yeah it does take boldness and I like how you identify that it's action because some people think you know well I posted on Facebook I'm really bold right now and you're like okay well cool cool story man and you see a lot of faux you know fake confidence and fakeness on social media where people try to pretend to be bold I see a lot of what we call copium in the communities of dating and stuff where people are clearly suffering being single and they try to present themselves as bold and like

I'm you know killing it right now being single and you're like you sound utterly miserable it's not a little desperate you're actually signaling for help right right why is there a razor in your hand yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm fine I'm just tying this news off here

that's a really bad joke Robin Williams too soon but you know this is kind of some of the some of the most depressed people are comedians. That's the funny thing. I mean, there used to be a lot of years where I was telling jokes to survive and run from myself.

And many comedians are. That's why you see Sonium die of suicide or chemical overdose. Sometimes being the clown, as someone said it to me when I was really young, I said, sometimes the clown is the person you got to worry about the most when it comes to them self-harming or being depressed or whatever. And yeah, I mean, but sometimes the situations you're in in life are just so freaking boring. That's some color. That's some splash.

And then I kind of like it. I get a juice when I make people feel good. When you see them light up with their employee, you come on, hey, how's things going with the wife and kids at home? How's, like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, the wife's ignoring you and angry at you or whatever. You know, you just tap on some bit. Oh, yeah, well, you know, that's how wives are. You know, oh, that's it's, you're married. That's how it goes.

You know, just something like that. They go, oh, yeah, yeah. You know, sometimes you just hit those trope jokes of whatever, and they'll laugh a little bit, you know. And when people sense you care, even though your jokes suck, which all mine do, everyone in the podcast listening right now is like, yeah, it's jokes really suck. They're like, hey, man, at least this person cares, man.

They're trying to entertain me, you know, and they know that I'm not there, you know, women know I'm not there going, hey, get your number. You know, I'll tell a joke and then I'll walk away. I don't give a fuck. And sometimes people come up to me at parties or afterwards and you know, you're really funny. Thanks for, thanks for helping me out. You know, I've had people tell me, I've had a horrible day today and you really change it up.

And what's that passive forward thing? I tried to highlight that earlier. But, you know, sometimes, you know, if you honk at somebody and you're rude to them and flip them off on the street or somebody does that to you, you kind of go about your day and then you're mean to the next person because you're carrying that anger. And so sometimes just passing up forward with being nice and caring about people and being interested in them, it'll make your whole day go better. Like, it'll just change everything. And then you'll be nice to somebody and they'll be nice, you know, and then pretty soon maybe you've got a better world. I don't know. Yeah, it reverberates.

I mean, it doesn't take boldness to be a critic. It doesn't take boldness to complain or to find the negative in something. Nowadays, it takes boldness to find the upside, you know, and just reflect that back. And somebody goes, like, I can't believe it's raining again. And it's like, yeah, you know what? It's just I sleep so much better with the sound of rain on the roof that I don't mind. Yeah. And you know what?

So do I. And you derail. I kind of get off on derailing the negative, like when somebody indulges themselves like that. And it's like, you know, stop accentuating the negative here. It's because you're putting the wrong chemicals through your body and it's going to eat your colon at the rate you're going, you know. So, you know, try to uplift people, like you say, make them laugh, make them feel good about themselves for a moment. And maybe you've changed, like you said, somebody was really down and you made them laugh. And they went like, boy, I needed that.

And you go, yeah, that's deep down, that's why I'm doing it, is like, is I know somebody out there needs a lift, needs a bright spot, needs some light shining on them because they've been, they've been in a lot of darkness. And that's a lot of people. So be willing to do that. Don't be somebody who's going to sit back and say, oh, I hope somebody helps them. Help somebody. Your life's not going well. Go help somebody else. yeah and I've died in the line at Walmart I've died I've died on a plane I've died

everywhere and sometimes that first joke you know I won't I won't have spent much time thinking about it I'll just cut it just to get a test to the room and like timing's everything so sometimes I'll die I'll tell something really joke and people just be what's that weird guy doing where's my gun and this this sounds like one of those guys is going to go off on the Walmart TikTok and they'll and then I'll just let it sit and marinate for a second that I died like this is what I'm talking about with Nora McDonald where you learn to kill or you learn to die to kill and and then I'll be like that was a real shitty joke that was that bombed rough crowd you know I'll do like

yeah it's a tough crowd and then then I'll try and sling another joke and at that point they realized I'm just being freaking human I'm just trying to make them laugh and they're just like I'll laugh at as stupid jokes. And no one cares. Like, no one's going to remember it. Maybe someone's going to remember it. Maybe it's going to lighten their day. I feel better.

And then I don't want to choke the person who's the checkers. It wants to tell their life story to everybody going through the line at the garage restaurant. I notice you have a podcast here, too. Tell us about that. Yeah. So I bring people on very similar to yourself who have made bold moves in their life. And I have them talk about that the time. that they stepped up and took a big risk in it and why it paid off and and the times they were

hesitant and they missed opportunities and those opportunities gnawed at them they were a regret that they dragged around and they said i'm not i'm not letting that happen anymore i you know i i know young men who you know it's it's harder to date now and they say you know what i i'm just can't figure out how to meet anybody. And I said, that's because you're not talking to anybody. You have to talk to people to date now? What the hell kind of? You're swiping.

And, you know, and that's the other thing. In this world that we live in of digital communication and social media and AI, those aren't real connections. And so your ability to make real connections is going to be your, irreplaceable advantage in life as you move forward because people don't know how to make eye contact. They don't know how to shake hands, some of them. And it's like these are basic interactive skills that you're going to want to develop.

And if you're uncomfortable doing it, then you have to do it until you're not uncomfortable. Yeah. And that's really, I mean, that's what comedians do. And, you know, no one's people, like I said, you don't have to write great jobs. jokes like i'll one of my defaults if i bomb i just go i just go uh uh hey they all can't be winners folks and people laugh at that you know they recognize that i'm being human and i'm not just a complete narcissic sociopath and i think my jokes are funny well and and you've seen this in stand-up is i've seen guys with with b-minus material delivered with such confidence that they kill night after

night. And I've seen a plus plus material delivered under confidently. And you and I will be sitting there going, man, that's a great joke. But we're just, we're not laughing. We're reflecting on the brilliance of the writing. But the delivery, the lack of confidence in the delivery has wasted great material. And it's the same thing in life. Get out there. You don't have to be clever all the time or hilarious. You just have to be nice. You just have to be friendly. You just have to be open.

Yeah. And that draws people in. To your point, I mean, you know, like I sit down on a plane. The first thing I do is introduce myself and shake hands. And it just makes it so much better of a ride. And if you, if you break that ice right away, you know, you tell some jokes, hey, you know, table trays up. There's all sorts of material you can do. the, why, why is it always in plain travel, you know, you just think of,

because that one comedian, Seinfeld, you know, sometimes just saying something is a question, like, why is there, why is there a TSA? Like, what is the point of that, right? You know, and, you know, and so if you break the eyes, if you reach out to people, they, it's that tension is gone. And people feel that they can talk to you and you can roll off them. But the same thing, you know, I, I, I, on my podcast, I meet three streams. a day and I make a friend at the end like you know I try and entertain and I try and entertain my audience but the end of the day I I really have three complete strangers like yourself Fred we and I didn't know each other before this

and I'm gonna come away with just a great feeling and and I'm gonna be like hey this Fred's really cool I just made a new friend in the world and we you know we're gonna pull that off in like 30 minutes sometimes I'm friends with people just in the green room joking around with them trying to get to loosen up for the show and that i mean it's a it's a real skill after a while but you can use it in so many different ways and that's what makes it so great yeah and i i appreciate this time with you too and i like i think uh you know i i look forward to running into you somewhere ideally on a plane you know we're gonna throw a party going yeah we're gonna go on tour and stand up the uh so if people

want to reach out to you. How do they get involved with you? How do they reach out to you? How do they find out more? So, Fredjoil.com, J-O-Y-A-L, and the book, super bold from, it's not a book about football. It's about boldness.

It is available on Amazon in the Kindle, hardcover, and audible. And it's me reading the audiobook. And it's got a bunch of exercises in it that you can do to build your boldness muscle much faster than you thought possible and you know if you if you want me to speak to your

company or to your team you just track me down we'll get in the conversation see if if I can sync up with you and and bring some value because a bold company is what's necessary at this point in this high speed world that we're living in where nobody you can't you can't have a five-year business plan anymore you got to you got to pivot every morning sometimes you know and so um i'm trying to bring life life skills to people um and uh i've even spoken to high school classes and it's it's a blast because it's like i get them it's like i i wish i understood this at your age because my life would be radically different i would have dated a lot more women in my early years headed and not that and i since i have i have had a couple of terrific wives and met many great

great people along the way and and and have met amazing celebrities uh along the way because i went up to them and just started chatting with them like a normal person instead of a drooling fan trying to get a cell and because of it i have i have great memories of the real interaction and that's what you and i are talking about is real connection whether you make somebody laugh or you make them feel good with a compliment or you just offer them a moment of kindness or or help or support um or positivity that's that's real human connection and boy do we need it more than ever oh yeah i mean i mean i love your message there because you see so many people just being phone zombies in public and they're kind of doing it to isolate too like there are times

where i'm like i don't want to talk to these fucking people and uh i'll just do i'm just go look at my phone pretend like i'm busy doing stuff um you know sometimes i i have my moods where i'm just like i really don't want to entertain today and i i just want to get through this line and get my coffee or whatever it is uh you know but sometimes i find that you know jokes will lift my spirits and you know there's probably some chemicals to this right endorphins dopamine dopamine mean, you know, it's good for you. And, you know, people say, well, I like to be alone. I said, yeah, I want you to be alone by choice, not by popular demand, okay?

I, you know, I want, I have, like you do, I get a lot of work done when I'm completely alone. I like my alone time. But I, if, if I feel like, wow, I've been alone too much, I'm not lonely. I just go out and find somebody, anybody. and I, you know, whether it's, I'll go into a bar, I'll go into a coffee shop, I'll grab a friend on the phone. But that's a, I'm not saying you have to be a social butterfly. That's not the goal.

The goal is to not stop yourself from bringing your full self to the world and connecting with human beings. We are social creatures. That's how human beings evolved and survived. It is deep in our DNA to need. social interaction. So if you're depriving yourself of it or just doom scrolling instead of interacting with real human beings face to face, you're not going to be resilient when it matters and you're going to be lonely. And that's not a good place to be. Yeah. I mean, that's where all

the depression is. I mean, COVID's really destroyed a lot of our social skills. I have a big huge dating group and it's amazing how many people, they're my age, they're in their 50s. And they're like, yeah, I'm too shy. I don't talk to people after COVID. I just kind of learn to be in my own shell. And I'm like, knock it off. Like, I can see young people doing it because they're kind of fine in their way in the world. But, you know, you're old.

Like, what do you care anymore? Yeah, why do you worry? Why do you have anybody's opinion that you worry about at this point? I mean, that's the thing about bold people. There's like five people whose opinions matter to them. It's like their dad, their spouse, their best friend. and their coach everybody else is like what they think about me is their problem their opinion to me is their issue not mine i don't have time for it and that's that's that is liberating when you can get to

that point because most people are worried when they say oh they're all going to laugh at me really all of them and you know all of them and it's going to hurt so much that these 400 people are going to laugh or maybe they're going to forget in about two seconds and go back to thinking about themselves, which is where everybody else is. Yeah, that's, that's easy. When I see people over 40, it makes me mental when they're really still worried about what other people think. And I'm like, honey, at 40, everybody has so many problems and so many things are just trying

to get, and they're just trying to survive sometimes. Like right now, I'm just trying to wake up every day, breathing. You know, I'll kind of joke about this, but, you know, 100 years ago, I've been to the 50s we didn't live past 65 and even 50s that's why that's why social security when they made it was such a boon for the government because like most people didn't live to 65 they pay in for 40 years and lived too yeah they lived too and they died and the government out we kept by the cash my aunt lived to 102 and she worked for the registry of motor vehicles as well so she had she bled the state dry and the federal government.

Oh, yeah. She got paid longer than she worked. Just good for her. Good for her. That's crazy, man. I'm halfway, I guess, then. Yeah. So, yeah, but it's making the world a better place.

I mean, people always ask me, what's your purpose in life? Make the world a better place and hopefully leave behind a better world. Or, you know, better influence and stuff. I don't know. There might be. five people show up to my funeral. Who cares? Chris, I'll go.

I'll go. And I'll say something. It'll be inappropriate, which will make you happy. Tell it. Sell some dirty jokes at my funeral. Yeah, we sent him to the, anyway, I'm not going to do that joke about necrophiliacs. We sent him to the necrophiliacs Cemetery. I hope he had a good time as he was getting out, going out.

So thank you very much for coming this show, Fred. You've been really inspiring. It's been great. I've been kind of bantering our boldness to kind of show off people that you can go from being an introvert to bold. And you can tell bad jokes. You too. I've sounded like a wrong commercial. You too can tell bad jokes like Chris Foss.

And we'll throw in a set of steak knife. If you subscribe now, I'll get my second manual on really awful bad jokes that will embarrass you and kill you on. So thank you very much for coming on, Fred. Give us your dot com's a final pitch out as we go out to help me where they can onboard, etc. Fredjoil.com, J-O-Y-A-L, spelled like Royal. And I've grabbed the misspellings, too. But, yeah, the book is on Amazon, super bold, from underconfident to charismatic in 90 days. Check it out.

Thank you. This has been a blast. Thank you. It's been super fun. I've been having fun. The longest shows are always the funnest. So order up the book, folks, where fine books are sold. It's called Super Bold, from Underconfident to Charismatic and,

90 days. It will change the quality and richness of your life in ways that you can't even measure and anticipate. Sometimes I met some really amazing friends of people in my life just by being obnoxious or I mean telling jokes. And that's what we call it. I've met some beautiful women and had great relations with them because I was funny and interesting or at least they thought I was funny looking enough. To pick up his book where refined books are sold and reach out to Fred, check out his podcast as well. Thanks for my house for tuning in. Thank you for being on the show, Fred. We really appreciate it.

Thank you, Chris. Thanks for having me. Thank you. And thanks for us for tuning in. Go to goodrease.com, Fortress, Chris Foss. LinkedIn.com, Fortress, Chris Foss. Chris Foss, one, the TikTokity, and all those crazy places on the internet. Be good, each other.

Stay safe. We'll see you next time. Well, I could have.