The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Take It Off: Revelations Of A Male Exotic Dancer by Corey Laine Hilton

Episode Date: March 27, 2022

Take It Off: Revelations Of A Male Exotic Dancer by Corey Laine Hilton

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast. The hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show. The preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. Get ready. Strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times.

Because you're about to go on a monster education rollercoaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Oh my god, it's the Chris Voss Show! That's the first time I've ever done that. Hey folks, welcome to the Chris Voss Show. Thechrisvossshow.com I don't know, that's kind of a new way to start it and we try and always improv the front of this thing it's first time i've done that in 12 years uh

so i don't know does that sound cool i don't know does that sound cool cory i don't know man that could have paint that could have stripped the paint off the walls it was so crazy in here as far as that intro wow that's incredible i was really impressed by that. Thanks, man. I just made that up. Anyway, guys, thanks for tuning in once again. Go to the iTunes there and make a great referral to the show. Put down how much you love the show, how much you worship the show. Remember, the Chris Foss Show is a family that loves you completely, unconditionally. You won't get that from anybody but a dog. We love you unconditionally, but remember, just like unlike your family, we don't judge you.

So that's even better. Unconditional love and no judgment. Where else the hell can you get that in life? I mean, even your dog will judge you. I mean, they'll still love you, but anyway, that's a whole different thing. So anyway, guys, thanks for tuning in. Go to all of our groups on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram. Sign up for that LinkedIn newsletter.

I think it's killing it over there in a big 131,000. LinkedIn group and all that good stuff. Today we have an amazing author on the show. He's talking about his journey and some of the stuff he learned and what he does now to help other people. He is the author of a book that just came out December 8th, 2021, Take It Off, Revelations of a Male Exotic Dancer. Corey Lane Hilton is going to be on the show with us today.

He's going to be talking about everything he does, things he learned, and also how to help others with self-worth, etc., etc. He is a well-respected Canadian author and introspective influencer on the subject of self-worth. He's entertained thousands of clients internationally, spanning a 25-year career in the male exotic dance industry, unknowingly laying the groundwork for his raw, mission-driven message through a unique and colorful perspective. Utilizing his life experience and having dedicated extensive time researching self-worth, he is widely regarded by men over 30 who suffer from blocks

related to unworthiness, egotism, and lack of emotional expression. He's a men's mental health advocate, and he challenges the stereotypical definition of man enough. Welcome to the show, Corey. How are you? Hey, thanks so much, Chris. I'm doing really good. That was a lot to unwrap, so I understood you stumbling there at the end of that one. But no, hey, I really appreciate you having me on the show. To be honest, it's an honor. And I've definitely listened to a few of your episodes from the past, so much respect. Thanks so much for having me on.

Thanks, man. We really appreciate it. So give us your plugs, your.coms, where people can find you on the interwebs, please. Sure, yeah. It's simple. TakeItOff.ca. I'm up here in British Columbia, Canada in the Okanagan Valley. So that's the best place to go to catch my courses and my book. Of course, the book has been released now for the last couple of months. And it's really been awesome to be able

to get the responses and the reviews and other people's perspectives on what I've wrote because I believe a lot in getting other people's perspectives outside of just the lens that I see life through. So yeah, really, really cool, actually, all the way around. And this whole experience has been actually improving my creativity, which is one of my core values that provides me a lot of excitement in life. So when I was an entertainer back in the day, I had a lot of creativity. And it's been roughly 10 years now since I've been out of the industry. So when you kind of have that loss of that, you're kind of searching for it again later in life. And so through this process, I've been able to find that again and just using it in a different way than it was before. Before it was creative on the exterior. Now it's more

creative on the interior, trying to make more of an impact and help others out with some of the struggles that I dealt with. So, you know, the fun part about life, well, sometimes it doesn't seem fun at the time, but the great part about life is there's so many lessons we all go through and there's so many journeys and you know i learned a long time ago life was like a giant catalog and you got to choose what you wanted to do and so i did and you know i i left the business you were in last chippendales finally put their foot down oh man i'm actually friends with somebody who who uh used to run ch in Hollywood. Yeah. And we probably know him. And he, anyway, so these journeys we go on, you know, there's so many different lessons that we can learn in life.

And then a lot of those lessons apply and can help other people that can do it. And sometimes, of course, the, you know, life skills being the teacher sometimes learns more than the students. Oh, man. You know, but the thing is, Chris, is you have to be willing no matter what it is. If you're trying to get in better shape, you have to be willing. If you want to address your authenticity, you have to be willing. If you want to become the best version of yourself, you have to be willing, right? These are all things that I obviously preach, but I also practice as well. You can sit there and take notes about things all day long,

but unless you're going to take action on those notes and it's all for naught, right? So in my own way, through my own lens, I just saw something that was kind of gold and to be completely straightforward, it was motivated by a lot of other people in my life that sat there and said, Hey, Corey, you told me this insane story about this career of yours. I have no idea. Like I would never want to do what you did, but Oh my God, like, tell me more. Right. So that was kind of my driver. It was like, okay, I've only journaled and documented 25 years of crazy ass stories on the Canadian side and the American side of the border. And I thought to myself at that time, I was like, what value do I have? I'm only a guy that took his clothes off for a living. What do I have to provide to the

world? Right. And that was that inner critic talking to me. It was just kind of saying, oh, yeah, you're just this. And so when I started to take the steps and actually go and do the things that I used to do back when I was a dancer and be bold enough to take those steps and meet the right people and present myself the right way, doors started to open up. And it really actually, it really, really started after I wrote the book to be completely straightforward. Like the writing process was really cool, but it was really the whole learning process of learning how to really write based on my authentic self, on my values, the feelings that were connected to those values. And that made a good book into something really, really great. And so now it's just expanding into

more. It's turned into something that I'm, and I jokingly say this for the willing people that are willing to actually take my courses is just simply, I'm going to show you mine. You show me yours. And I know that sounds a little creepy, but at the same time, I'm literally saying here, read all the crazy shit that I did, read all the things that I'm going to be vulnerable about all the pitfalls that I went through. You, you tell me if you can relate to any of those things, it's through a different lens, but I'm telling you, there's a lot of things that you're going to be able to relate to in there. So just, you know, it's one of those things that it opens that door a little bit more when you're willing to go there, when you're willing to show that side of

you. So that's what my hope is with this whole mission of take it off is to get people to take off the layers of shit that's in their head. That's been programmed in there for their own entire life. And that's where it comes back to that man enough thing a little bit. Like I kind of struggled with that, trying to be man enough, not wanting to cry, always trying to make sure, you know, making sure that I didn't cry and show emotion, always trying to be the hunter gatherer, putting all that pressure on myself. And in the end, it didn't do anything for me. In fact, it actually screwed me up in a lot of ways and didn't allow me to release emotions and really become a better version of me internally.

So yeah, it's just been a really interesting process that liberated me from the, I guess you could say that the person that I was in my former career, in my former life. So a lot of people go through that through since COVID. Like I know that a lot of people have wrote books and they've done a lot of self-discovery journeys and that's awesome. And I'm glad that people have to be honest, but at the same time for me, it was mandatory. I just didn't want to end up living like I was before and never really hitting that higher state of consciousness with, with people professionally or for that matter, personally. So, yeah. And, and, and that's important, you know,

I mean, a life that's unlearned, I don't. There's some quote from this, so I'm going to butcher it because I don't know. I don't have it on top of my head. But a life not learned or a life unlearned is a wasted life, I think, is the quote, roughly. And a lot of people go through life on autopilot. They just do whatever society tells them they do. I remember there's that famous scene that I love from Fight Club where, you know, we're boys raised by, we're the first generation of boys raised by women. Is another woman really all we need? My dad told me to, you know, go to school, get good grades.

Okay, so I did that. Then I graduated high school, and my dad said, you know, go to college. I went to college. Then I got out of college, and I said, what do I do now, Dad? Dad goes, get married. And you're dad said, you know, go to college. I went to college and I got out of college. And I said, what do I do now, dad? Dad goes, get married. And you're just like, come on, man. And so people, you know, they go through life through that robotic thing.

And, you know, you went through some, I guess, some issues maybe in your childhood, I'm guessing. Oh, man. Totally. Yeah, we all do. Like, I honestly, I believe that totally. Like, if anybody out there says that they don't have mental health issues, I'm kind of like, okay, do I really want to trust this person now? Because I mean, there is an element of it that everybody struggles with a little bit of it in some way or another, right in the first chapter of my book, actually, I wrote about when I was about five or six years old. And it's kind of interesting because what I did was with every chapter in my book, I focused on a pillar. And the pillar really is maybe, for example, in my first chapter, it's truth.

And then I had a struggle with the pillar. And the struggle was my perspective of the truth. It was skewed, right? Even at five years old, I was unintentionally inauthentic. I didn't even know what the meaning of authenticity was at that time, obviously. But this is the story behind it. And I've said this on other podcasts, it's just kind of a funny little story. But I, my aunt and my uncle, he actually took me to the fair at a really young age, like I say, and they put me on a Ferris wheel and I got stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel, things creaking,

I'm freaking out, I'm crying, losing my shit. And, and anyway, and I just didn't understand how could my family members that love me actually put me on this Ferris wheel and traumatize the shit out of this little kid. And so years went by. And I said to my aunt, I said, Carol, like, why in God's name would you ever do something like that to a kid? And she said, Corey, oh my God. And she was like, she started laughing kid and she said cory oh my god and she was like she started laughing and she said i moved the mall she's like i plugged a quarter in the thing it was maybe seven feet tall you were just up there crying like a bitch right and i'm just i think to myself i just laughed about that you know what happened with that believe it or not it held me back there was a fear inside of me of heights that held me back from doing the great things like

maybe going parasailing or maybe skydiving or whatever that fear that anticipation of that always held me back and until i figured that block out and got rid of that block i wasn't able to do that and so a couple years ago i jumped into kawasan falls in the philippines from 15 meters high and it was just like exhilarating so you know just like these just like these, these things that, I mean, that's living life, but then these blocks, these things hold you back from it sometimes. And we're all human. Like we all have that in us. And so, you know, if you think that I have it all figured out, you're wrong. Like I still have the inner critic that's inside of me every single day. We all do. Right. I just have learned now that when that inner critic starts talking to me, I know how to actually deflect it. Like that's the difference now is that I'm aware. And I think that's the biggest thing is, is awareness in general is

just massive when it comes to this sort of stuff. And I think a lot of people regurgitate the same information. It's just over and over again. There's only so much you can say in the health, self-help realm, so to speak, but I'm just kind of coming in at a different angle, man. Like, you know, how many people do you know that have been in the, in a male stripper for 25 years? First off, you know, like I don't know anyone. Okay. You're my only did like a 15, I think. Okay. Well, if you need an agent from here forward, come talk to me. I'll hook you up and take 15% of everything you make, but I'm just saying, you know, what's funny. That's a real joke. I tell when I, I used to go like to Christmas dinner with my friends, she'd have a, she's a real angel. to christmas dinner with my friends she'd have a

she's a real angel she just recently got married but she'd have a what do they call it uh singles giving or something it would be thanksgiving dinner with single people and we lived in vegas so you know everyone's there you go and so she'd throw a huge spread with her and her family and and she's a wonderful she was one of my models actually with my agency about 20 years ago and and so any any place i go where i can get away with the joke you know i clearly don't do And she's wonderful. She was one of my models, actually, with my agency about 20 years ago. And so any place I go where I can get away with a joke, you know, I clearly don't do this in board meetings and corporate events and consulting. But any place I can get away with a joke, I'll pull the straight man. And the people will be like, hey, let's go around the room and have everybody introduce themselves as who they are.

They'll be like, hey, Chris, what do you do? And I'll be i'm just retired from being a strip a male stripper i'm from chippendales and you know we lived in vegas so it had some you know you get credibility out of it and yeah i just quit last week and uh i'm just looking forward my next career what i want to do and i just played straight dead on and people like give me a double take and they look at me and of course usually they start laughing and i mean what the fuck you people man you don't believe i was a male stripper last week fuck you people and of course they'd laugh more so i've used that joke for years now so i love it but uh what were some of the things people are going to learn from your book and the lessons because like what are some things that they're gonna that's gonna help them maybe in through some of your journeys or maybe

a favorite story you have dude there's so many stories in that thing because it's like a hundred thousand words and it's just like you know there's it's just ridiculous it took me almost five years to write it because it was like just well because there's just so many over 25 years you know there's a lot of mess in the message right like i mean it's just especially doing that industry right like i went everywhere i had dealt with you know the standards's a lot of mess in the message, right? Like, I mean, it's just, especially doing that industry, right? Like I went everywhere, I had dealt with, you know, the standards of divorce and all that stuff. But really, for me, it was a lot to do with addictions too, right? Like, it's everything from sex addiction to drug addiction, if you want to know the honest goods on that one, because I mean, I went through, I really focus a lot on

relationships in the book, because relationships and really creating great memories are kind of what life's all about in the first place in my eyes. So, you know, I had my struggles when it came down to that. And I didn't really understand why I had the struggles until long after and I was able to connect the dots. So what I mean by that is through the writing process, I was able to go back and go, OK, like when I went through my divorce, for example, I had this lack of creativity. It really took away my feeling of excitement. So that aspect of myself changed in comparison to the guy she married eight years before. So was it completely her fault in our breakup? No, I realized that I started to use the thumb instead of always using the finger and pointing blame at everyone else. So that kind of came with the territory with not just my marriage, but just my, even my professional relationships where I was always trying to be a perfectionist. I was really always kind of just that guy that was looking at everybody else and comparing myself and all that. And that's a slippery slope, right? And a lot of us out there in this world do that, especially with social media and stuff. It's an airbrushed world, right? If you're not owning up, you're not keeping up with the Joneses, that inner critic starts getting stronger and stronger.

And all of a sudden you're just like, oh, I'm just this. And, you know, I think I'm just going to go ahead and, you know, just give up. And it's sort of, it's one of those things that, that is one of the biggest things that I learned was through the writing process was really focusing in on those values, literally writing those values down and then attaching the feelings that those values have, attaching the feelings to those values. And so that I know when I'm the opposite of one of those feelings, if you're keeping up with me, when I'm the opposite of one of those feelings, I'm actually in the really wrong place. I'm actually in a very inauthentic place. So I can actually pinpoint and go back to say, for example, if I'm feeling disconnected, well, relationships for me give me connection. So if I'm not, if I'm feeling disconnected,

I have to go back to one of my relationships and go, okay, was it, is my girlfriend? Is it my mom? Is it my boss? Is it, who is it in my life that is a relationship that is kind of not right right now? And I need to go back there and talk to them and really kind of try to iron that out to feel back connected again. So I guess, like I said, it really comes back to, for me anyways, by connecting those dots, I became a far better version of myself. And the guy that I used to look in the mirror at that had the perfect body that was Mr. Nude Western Canada at one time, placed second in Mr. Nude Canada, all that good stuff that had all that status, that guy that I looked at in the mirror before, I didn't love that guy.

Now the guy that I look in the mirror now, I'm like, okay, yeah, I get it because I'm more of a complete package. I don't just focus on the exterior. I actually now I'm completely connected with the inner work and now I can be better next time. I'm never going to, nobody's ever going to be perfect. That's just bullshit. Right. This is bullshit. But there's people, I used to think I had a perfect ever going to be perfect. That's just bullshit. Yeah. There's no, right. This is bullshit, but there's people, I used to think I had a perfect run in life and,

and I was batting a thousand and, and suddenly the ball started fouling. And I was like, I mean, business, I smacked like four or five home runs in a row. And you know, my board and people were like,

you're the home run kid. And I thought I was, and that was probably the moment I started thinking I was, it's probably when I went off the rail. That's right. That's right. You know, and we did have a lot on our plate. There's only so much we could handle. I mean, running three companies is kind of dumb when it really comes down to trying to be CEO of so many different things. But, but even then it wasn't, it wasn't healthy and you know, it's whatever. I had good partners and that's kind of what got me through some of it. But you people people learn from their journeys you know you talked about

relationships and stuff i don't know if this you went through this journey but what i find is a lot of men have lost their space there's no space for men to tribe up and go hunting together and do stuff you know when i grew up my up, my uncle or my, not my uncle, my grandfather, my father would take us fishing. We do guy stuff. We, with boy scouts and, and, and stuff, we, we go do stuff. Even in my younger years, you know, us as men, we go do stuff. Like we didn't really do fishing, but you know, we, we go do stuff and, you know, men

have lost bars. They've lost all the different avenues they have to have about the only time they can do man stuff is they're relegated to the dirtiest part of their house in the garage. And a lot of men don't keep relationships with other men, especially once they get married or they get into and do a thing. And I find that that's a real problem. I noticed in my gamer community,

keeping men together as a real thing. And I think a lot of people, men really, especially if they alienate all their men friends, because I've had that over all my years of being single. You know, my male friends will come to me and they'll be like, hey, Chris, I got my girlfriend or my new wife. And she says, I can't hang out with you anymore. And, you know, because you're that single guy and you always got girls around and stuff. You know, you're that evil single, you know, influence single guy. And so, you know, I have to go hang out with the married people now. You know, and then, of course, two years later, they call me and they're like, oh, single

again. You know what I mean? And I'm like, dude, you're a fucking idiot, man. Take care of your guy friends. So I don't know what you think. But in my opinion, one of the problems men have nowadays is they don't keep their men friends around they don't keep their tribe and they're we're hunters we're tribalists there's things that only men can talk about with each other and do things and we don't even have to talk to each other you know you can go fishing all day with your friend and say five words to

them and you bought that's like what you just said has a lot to do with why i'm actually moving into the realm that i'm moving into because it is something that it's not i don't like to use the word underfunded but it actually is something that is not really addressed and so when it comes down to even here in canada right like three or four suicides right now are men there's a reason why right like there really is and and it's not just because of covid like i understand that covid is a component of it because when you're going to try to be the hunter gatherer and you're not able to gather as much as you could before, that can be very detrimental to your head. But I think that when it comes down to that emotional

connection, I get that like, man, when you're talking about like fishing and going with your folks and doing that sort of stuff, how essential that is for me, I really relate to that because I was raised by my grandfather. So my grandfather passed away at 97 years old a couple of years ago, and he was a World War II vet. He was programmed to have no emotion whatsoever. He had mental health issues in his family background way back in the Depression era where people were obviously dealing with a lot worse situations than we are right now even.

So you can't comprehend some of the stuff that that person went through. But guess what does happen? They pass down some really great tools to you as far as morality, integrity. They have all those great things that the greatest generation had, but they also pass down some of those other things that those lack, the perception of money being evil. Put it under your mattress to save it for a rainy day right like all those things that are that are just embedded and so when i talk when i talk about

emotional disconnection the reason why i'm so deeply into that is because i am at fault just as bad or worse than anybody for it because i literally followed the same path as the person that raised me and tried to get into a marriage and be basically a Ricky and Lucy relationship in the year 2000, which didn't work out so freaking well. Right. So just saying like I tripped over, I fell many times, but I got back up and wanted to work on it. I was willing. Right. So, and that's liberating when you're willing. I didn't want to be in a position, Chris, where I was going to live my life and be on my deathbed and not actually truly experience life on that level. I really wanted that higher state of consciousness. So I'm willing to work to get there. And I'm not there yet. Like I still have to work on things,

right? Like I'm always trying my best to be better. But at the same time, I realized why those things happened now. And so it's just a matter of being aware of what it was that caused that in my head to start with so that I can go, okay, now I know what not to do. And that doesn't take away from my love for my family, like deep love for my family. I don't have to agree with what they necessarily did, but I can still have love for them, right? It's just one of those things where I truly realized that he had his faults, but he was a great man. I looked up to him. He was like Superman to me in a lot of ways.

And I looked up to him on his pedestal. And that was my problem with a lot of relationships, was I was always looking up at somebody on their pedestal, or I was looking down from mine. And I was never really looking them in the eye. I was never really kind of trying to understand this other person that I was talking to. And I think that that has a lot to do with some of the issues, even in the world right now, where we're always right. I'm right, you're wrong.

I'm right, you're wrong, black and white tribal. And I'm just kind of that person now that goes, hey, man, I may completely disagree with you. I just want to try to understand you. Like I want to get in that head of yours for a few minutes and figure that out. And so even if I disagree, still, we can move on. I can at least get why you feel the way you do, right? Maybe you were born in the Southern US and I was born up here in Canada. You've seen life through a different lens. That's cool. At least I know now, right? So yeah, it's kind of been my thing with this whole authenticity journey is just trying to understand others and get into their head. And that's what a true authentic leader wants to do really. Yeah, it definitely is. I mean, men commit suicide three to four times the amount of women. We go through a lot of stuff and we carry a lot of load because normally we have to be providers. We have to bring stuff to the

table. And there's a lot of stuff that men go through. I recently talked about this with what Kanye West is going through. And clearly I'm not, I'm an old classic rocker. I'm not into rap. I mean, rap's good music, but I, you know, I'm Led Zeppelin and Metallica.

I mean, sorry. It's just, you grow up in what you grew up in. We're on the same team. Whatever age, you know. I mean,

if you're young, you like rap. If you grew up in my age, you like classic rock. But, you know, you can call me old all day long, whatever.

Hey, you're not old. You're just older. You're just older. You're just older. We have the best music. In fact, rap steals our music and samples it. So that tells you how great our music is. That's right.

But Kanye West, you know, he's been going through a lot of issues with his divorce. And I've seen this. You know, if you've dated any single mom, especially one that got divorced like I have, you've had a divorced dad very unhappy with you. And sometimes you've had threats of violence and different things. So I had some people that, I had some woman explainers that came on and started telling me, oh, Kanye West, you know, he has, he just has mental health problems. And I will agree with that. I think that man does have, probably needs to see a psychiatrist and maybe get off, I don't know,

whatever he's on. But aside from that, you know, all I see is a man going through what most men go through when they divorce. Because they lose access to their kids. They're used to tucking their kids in. There's so many men that I've said, you have a real problem with that. Your wife or girlfriend, you need to get rid of her. You need to get the hell out of that situation. Because men complicate themselves with all this stupid stuff cap and save a hoe and everything else they do. And they'll be like, Chris, I can't. I want to still be able to tuck

my kids in at night. And sadly, in some of these relationships, they're being blackmailed with that danger that they'll lose access to their kids and they just know what happens. You know, these guys commit suicide at a very high rate and partially is, you know, most of the men that come to me, they're having trouble with, you know, manhood issues like that. And what they're dealing with is I'm like, dude, you let go of your tribe. You have nothing to fall back on.

That's right. That's right. So it's important that, you know, what you're doing is stuff, helping men understand what they're going through and stuff and their self-worth and their value. I mean, I see this all the time with women in magazines and everything else. They're always told, know your value, honey, know your value, which is good. That's good. You should know your value.

But men are raised with the same sort of thing. I'll talk to men and say, you need to know your value, man. You need to know your worth. And you're worth a whole lot more than you think you are. And you need to stand up for that and put up boundaries and lines. Amen to that. Yeah. I relate to that big time, Chris.

Because I was in a status role. Not necessarily a status role like some of the actors or maybe musicians that are out there that I've looked up to on their pedestal before, but we're all just humans, right? And a lot of those people that I've looked up to, like the Michael Hutchins's of the world or the Chester Bennington's of the world or the Chris Cornell's or whatever, right? Like I would give anything to have had maybe one minute in their shoes to be up on that stage, hitting those notes that they were hitting and that amazing talent that they had, but I don't know what it was like inside their head. And a lot of people didn't know what it was like inside my head either. So that's what I'm, when I'm talking to that guy out there, that's 30 or so years old, that's struggling with this shit. Basically, all I'm trying to say is, is, Hey man, you know,

we're not that far off. We're really not like, I'm a, yeah, I was this stripper for all these years. And yeah, I worked in like the largest beach club in North America and I had all this freaking fame and all this bullshit. Right. And I was up on this billboard and it was like still mind blowing to me. I look back on it. I'm like, did that really happen? But at the same time, you know, I had the same struggles, man. And you know, where I'll tell you what, you know, to be honest with you, I was so emotionally disconnected and I was so hungry for emotion that when I left my family, my friends, and everything that I had here in Canada to go and pursue this dream of going to work in the U.S. and work down in Florida at this massive club, when I walked into that scenario, I actually had

never touched a drug in my life. Like I maybe had a six pack of beer at a party when I was in my teens. But all of a sudden I walk into this club and it was like, oh, one of my friends is like, oh, pop this little ecstasy pill and see what happens. And next thing you know, I'm like, Oh, that open door to emotion just goes boom. And like, all of a sudden it was like some, it was like, I hadn't, I hadn't eaten food. I'd eaten food all my life, but I'd never really tasted it. And all of a sudden I could taste it. And it was just like, Holy shit. So I went deep and I had a lot of fun. Don't get me wrong. But that door that I opened up didn't take me anywhere that I wanted to go.

It didn't take me to the place I was looking for, right? Like, so now it's more so that even when I do what I do now and I make an impact on someone, even if it's somebody that actually says, hey, you know what? You kind of talked me down from some shit or whatever it might be. That gives me that little bit of juice

that I actually got from taking that ecstasy pill back down there. That gives me that little bit of goosebumps as somebody that doesn't do any of that stuff anymore. Like it's long gone in my past now, but it still gives me that little bit of freaking excitement inside of me because I feel like I'm helping out somebody to actually have a better quality of life. And I've been on the ledge before, right? Like I went through my divorce shit too. I didn't have kids, but I went through some pretty heavy divorce stuff and I couldn't go back to my home in Florida.

I lost my car, my house, my everything I had down there. And so like, I was like a country song literally sitting up here in Canada, trying to rebuild my life at 38 years old. Right. And I had to start from a bag really,

you know, living in my aunt's basement. So, you know, when you lose it all and it's all gone and Eckhart Tolle talks about this and his writings as far as power now and all that stuff, and you lose it all and you get stripped down naked in a different way and you have nothing left. That's when you actually kind of get to that point where you can if you can still say, hey, I'm OK with who I am. I can still build myself from here.

That's where you that's where it really kind of starts from. And so for me, that was my journey of like it just changed my life when i went through that it was the hardest shit i've ever gone through but i'm so glad that i did i'm grateful for it now like literally grateful for the pain and struggle that i went through right because i couldn't relate to other people unless i did yeah men men have to show up successful you know uh guys guys will date guys will wife up a woman who's under a bridge living under vidoc with no teeth and no makeup that's what we'll do but if you're a man you've got to show up to be a provider you got to have a job you got to have a car you got to have a house

you can't be living in your mom's basement you you got to show up and you've got to compete with you know 50 000 other men that are chasing one woman at a time it seems like these days well especially there's other when there's other strippers like yourself out there that I have to compete with, and that's a whole other story. I had that problem for so many years. I feel you on that. Oh, man. The competition is strong.

Yeah. But no, I mean. Competition is strong and long. I'm not sure what that means. But I will say that I finished all the stories in my book years ago. But the reason why I went into a different realm with this book and actually tried to make it more into a personal development side was that I wanted to actually write those stories and then reveal my naked truth, all part of my branding, of course, at the end of every chapter. So that's like my undrug-hazed, accountable, freaking responsible side that's coming out at 50 years old going, hey, you really screwed up here, man. This is a life

lesson that you can pass on to someone else, right? And so that's where I think that I have something unique. It's just a little bit different than the way that a regular biography could be written, I guess. It's an interesting read. I went through the same journey you did where at 50 I started waking up to stuff.

And it's, you know, people might say, well, why do you know more at 50 than you know at 30 or 20 or something like that? At 50, you have a path of wreckage and successes that you can look back on and you can see the trajectory. You can see the path. You know, you can see your footsteps down the path. And you go, yeah, that, that wasn't my best choice. Like anytime I meet someone who said, you know, you hear that phrase, they go, if you go back and change anything, would you change anything?

I don't trust people that say they wouldn't go back and change anything. Oh, I've said that before myself. I'm so sad. I hate it when people say I have no regrets. I'm like, bullshit. You have no regrets. Come on,, bullshit, you have no regrets. Yeah, no regrets. Come on, man. I mean, you know, I've said some mean people things that, you know, even years later, I'm like, God, what an asshole I was when I did that. And if you don't, a life that's, you know, I forget the quote, but a life that's a thing.

But at 50, you can see the wreckage you can see like you know 30 40 years of you're like maybe i should go have some help when i was 20 you know someone asked me like what would you have told your 16 year old self i've been like go see a psychiatrist like no i had really bad adhd you know i'd check the door like 20 times a night to see if it was locked you know that sort of i really needed some mental help for anxiety. And I later got it, but that was after I, you know,

I really hit the wall, you know, murdered like 10,000 people or something. And the judge says, you can't do that anymore. That's just a joke. People don't do that. And I didn't do that.

People are right now looking at my current records. So, you know, but you know, you can look back and there's so much to learn from it. And sadly, you know, I mean, back and there's so much to learn from it. And sadly, you know, I mean, I've, I've had people say, would you want to go back and be 20 again, Chris?

And I'm like, only if I can take care of it. Totally. I agree. I so agree. Like I've always said that about like, take me back to my high school graduation year. Oh my God. Like scary. But no, what I was going to say on that though, actually is what's really cool like which which is what i've been able to do in a couple of situations where i was inauthentic with people in my past and i think there was a movie about this maybe it was jim carrey that did it in some way i can't remember which one but when you go back i think it was liar liar

i think that was the one but when you go back and you actually speak to someone that you went through that shit with and you played the blame game and you were you were being inauthentic i've actually gone back to them and healed those relationships relationships i never dreamed could ever be healed but was able to do it from using my thumb and that's really an amazing feeling actually it's something i never thought i would actually be able to do but through this process i've been able to do that so that's why again right like it's just something that i'm so driven to help others out to do because it feels so bloody good. It just really does, you know, and it really does.

And having that reconciliation and then you grow so much from it. Like, you know, I'll meet people and they'll talk about their exes like, hey, this person and they are so horrible and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, I yeah, I reconciled a long time ago, that stuff.

In fact, I'm really thankful for everything I learned from all my girlfriends. I was engaged twice. Yeah, I mean, I didn't make some good choices of people. I did an alcoholic one point, but she was a wonderful woman and she was trying the best she could with genetically she'd gotten. But, you know, now I look back and if I ever bumped into any of my old girlfriends, I'd thank them. I'd be just like, thanks for, and I'd probably apologize for being an asshole.

You know, I did my 50% of assholeness. But you're probably meaning it. You're probably authentically meaning it now when you would be saying that to that person. Like you actually are saying that from the heart, right? Like that's a difference. Like, yeah. So I have a question for you though, Chris, actually, because I revealed one of my fears that was driven off of the Ferris wheel. Right. And like, that was something that affected me as a little kid. Did you have anything from when you were a kid, like young, young, that you carried a fear of some sort

into your adulthood? Was there something that you can think of that maybe that held you back from doing certain things? I mean, I know you've been really successful, but I mean, is there anything maybe just personally that had held you back? There was trauma. There was Chester Benningfield trauma. Oh, really? He and I share some shit. Wow. Not to his extent, but yeah, he resonates a lot with me. And I was really upset when he died.

I photographed him at a concert. And yeah, so trauma. And you deal with that and you carry that. And now you can look back and you can go, I probably should have talked to somebody about that. But I brought that all out and brought it onto my Facebook one day. Good for you. Getting the poison out.

I saw Leaving Neverland and that helped. Really? Yeah, that really helped. Because I hadn't seen myself as a victim and i didn't want to so there's that but yeah that that had an effect but people learn this stuff and you know you you might be able to say that some of the arc of my life was was from that but i don't know man i had a good time but but straight up like i've got to give you credit for that because a lot of people aren't willing to go there right like that's cool i give you credit for that because a lot of people aren't willing to go there. Right. Like that's cool. I give kudos to that in a big way.

Right. I mean, because I mean, like I say, you could hear it in, in Chester's writing. You could hear it. I didn't realize it until after he passed away.

Right. Like I didn't, I didn't get it, but I didn't know why he resonated with me so much. I'm like, why does this, you know, crawling in my skin?

Yeah. Right. I didn't know why that was what I've done. Yeah. What I've done a lot i've done a lot of his a lot of his songs and the anger and emotion but yeah so you know i i saw on the oprah show after leaving neverland and the guy got up who'd been i think an nfl star and he written a book and he said you know the the the poison that you keep inside you is the secrets that you keep inside

you is a poison that kills you so yeah but uh i mean these are the things we you have in your life and i i advise anybody who has trauma as a child please go get help go to a psychiatrist and i probably should have spent 10 years i think people still see me now they still see my facebook but he still needs help but you know this is the journey this is the story of life, a collection of stories and lessons. And, and hopefully, you know, we all live a life where we learn from them. Cause if you don't, I can't imagine getting the end of my life and not learning shit. Oh man. You know, I'll say this. Trent Shelton is actually one of my favorite people as far as in

the self-help game. And one thing that always resonated with me that he said is people that focus so much on their fricking birthday all the all the time like why are you focusing on your birthday so much you should be focusing on your death day like and we're not talking about physical death i'm talking about your death day like are you walking around on this freaking planet dead because i know a lot of people that are my age or our age so to speak that are and and they might have all the money on the planet that's cool but at the same time like just because you have the most toys doesn't necessarily mean you're the happiest and like really i've known there was one man that i met when i was in florida was one of my good good friends down there you know i mean god he

had he was worth 43 million at that time back 15 years ago and he was one of the saddest people i've ever met you know and it was just it was shitty i mean we sat there and drank wine on a friday night and he was in tears because he was like hiring call girls for the weekend because he didn't have any love in his life right and i mean it's a bad thing well you know whatever your flavor but i'm just saying he was actually envying me at the time because i was married and he's like oh yeah you got so much going on i'm thinking to myself i'll take the freaking yacht that you have on your front yard you know i'll trade you the wife for the yacht if you're open to it you know but no i lived in vegas for 20 years a lot of girls that are call girls i got a lot of girls that's from rhino and it used to be ogs back in the day and sapphires and stuff a lot of my models

from utah went to work for them so you know i mean i i kind of understand the other side of your business the female side of your business oh but female side of your business. Oh, dude. Do whatever. I'm working out, though, now. I started working out for the first time in my whole life, going to the gym every day. I've been doing that for seven or eight months now. I believe, again, August 4th, so somebody count that. But I've been working out, and I'm getting in shape,

and I'm going to be on that Thunderdown understage in Vegas next year. Well, you know, I've got a recommendation for you, man. When you do it, I've got a little hint for you. I'm going to give you a little tidbit. All you have to do is if you don't have your abs fully set by then, just go ahead and get a razor and shave them in. Just shave the ab lines in. It'll actually make them stand out more for you.

I'm fairly hairy, so I can pull it off. You can pull it off, man. You could do it. Yeah, so I just kind of make sure it's warm in the place so there you go yeah man no you know it's funny too like like i said you were talking about female dancers and you're probably misunderstood a lot of the time because they have to deal with the male mentality right like they're dealing with the guy that's sitting there eating his hamburger in the front row going oh yeah her ass is too big being all critical i

don't like her outfit. And you're sitting there like, you know, these girls are out there hustling their asses off, working all day just trying to make a buck, right? Whereas on the other side of me, I was like Mr. Ladies Night out there, and the women are there just to take it, you know, yell and take it off, baby. And they're out there just to have a good time with their friends. They were treating you like a piece of meat? Women were?

There was even a place one time that I worked in. I worked in a club in freaking Houston, Texas, that actually had a place that had a big stage. We all stood up there, and it was called the Meat Rack, literally. And girls would come up and pick guys off the Meat Rack to do private shows. It lasted two days. I was out of there. Couldn't even do it.

No way. The Meat Rack. The Meat Rack. No lie. It was horrible. The meat rack. No lie. It was horrible. And that was a year after I won Mr. Nude Western Canada, so it was kind of a downgrade. It was like, yeah, it was not a good thing. So, yeah.

A lot of ups and downs, my friend. Lots of ups and downs. That's crazy. Yeah, I've had friends that have gone to that. My buddies' wives, they'll go with a crew of girls. And they're like, Chris, you have no idea how much women really go crazy at those things. And I've always kind of half wanted to go. But then I don't want someone to see me there and be like, whatever.

Why are you here? I'm not judging anybody. In fact, one of my friends in Beverly Hills, we used to party a lot back in the day. David Harrison Levi. I don't know if you know him. I think he was the vice president of Chippendales for a long time and i think he helped build it really but yeah he's a wonderful guy really super nice and and just an angel of a man does all these charities now does all this you name it he's an honorary charitable dude to all of it but yeah we we

had a lot of fun. Anytime people know that I'm friends with him because he had Chippendales and then I do my strip jokes, strip club jokes, people start looking at me like, were you a dancer? I've got at least a couple people that are seriously convinced there's photos of me somewhere working for

Chippendales. You can start charging for that on the side and make you some money, man. I should make that a bucket list thing. I mean, I wouldn't be able to go fully nude, but, you know, a thong and go up. And, you know, I wear Magnum XLs. I can probably pull it off. I don't know. Stuffing a second extra sock in there because I'm 50.

I don't know. I never thought that I could. And I really never thought that I could. i really never thought that i could the first time i ever saw a male dancer here in canada taking it all off and going like full full monty i was like there's no freaking way i could do that but i was mentored by the number one dancer in canada next thing you know i was out there freaking giving her and you know all i can say is 10 years later after that it was like you know here i was my career was started in the industry and i never gave up on it because i actually enjoyed it. Like people go, Oh, did you get,

did you, were you like exploited and brought into this? Cause you started at 17 years old. And I was like, no, in fact, it was just a random story that I ended up knowing somebody that was a couple of years older than I was at bounce at a nightclub. And he let me in. And then all of a sudden, boom, I'm hired on as a topless waiter, going to high taking my gear off on tuesdays and thursdays and making money and my folks were like you know what the kid's making money as long as he's not screwed up on drugs and he keeps his grades up let him fill his boots and that that was what happened and i just kept doing it it's crazy i think it'd be funny just to do it once i just to see how crazy women get of those things i've just heard about it but you, and then Magic Mike's kind of made it popular.

That Magic Mike movie or whatever. Yeah. Third or fourth one coming out now. And it'd be fun just to go do it. I'd be like that. I'd be like, what's his face from Tommy Boy, that SNL skit. Oh, you mean David Spade? Not David Spade, but Chris Farley.

Yeah, with Patrick Swayze. Yeah. I remember seeing that live for the first time on SNL. I was on the floor. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. I pissed myself. Yeah, it was so good.

That would be me on the stage. I'll tell you this. If you were to just make my life, if you were to go, okay, which three movies represented my life, it would be great. It would be Joe Dirt, Forrest Gump, and Magic Mike. You throw all three of those together, you got me, man. That's a hell of a role, man. That's a hell of a role, yeah.

All right, man. Well, it's been fun to have you on, Corey, and I'm glad you're using your vast knowledge and your experience and your stories of your life to help other people. Give us your plugs so we can find you on the interwebs, man. Yeah, like I say, I mean, I'm on Instagram. Basically, it's just Corey underscore underscore Hilton. So it's not, that's H-I-L-T-O-N-C-O-R-E-Y.

Corey Hilton, basically on Facebook. But the main place to catch me really is on my website. Like if you subscribe to my website, you can get discounted rates on my courses on the book. And you can even chat with me on there and it's not a bot. Like you'll actually truly get through to me, believe it or not. So yeah, that's the best place realistically right now. And it's just under development. Like as of April 1st, my courses are being launched. So

I'm really excited about that side of things, Chris, because like, yeah, the book's one thing, but it's really the launch pad of what I really want to do with the rest of my life. And if I can really, like I say, be providing video courses and courses where they can cross-reference with my book and have a little bit of fun with this whole personal development journey at the same time. It's just a different angle, right? And I just really believe that by showing myself to somebody and them showing themselves, it's just more of a, I guess you could say, a trust that I have between those people. And everybody that I actually work with is completely confidential as well. So just something that, you know, you're not in any jeopardy, you're not in any position that you're going to be

getting in any shit with anybody for opening up, you know, maybe something that you would have happened in your past with me anyways. So, cause I'm just trying to help other people out. Like I said, if it's, if it's a matter of, I just, I can honestly say that if I didn't have the disconnection issues that I had, I probably would have lived a lot better first half of my life. So I just want to be able to help other people not to be so bloody disconnected in this world of disconnection and connection that we have right now. I feel you. I probably would have drank a lot. That would have been better for me and everything I used to eat, all the crap I used to eat that I'm still wearing, but I'm getting rid of it. It's been wonderful to have on the

show, Corey, and it's been incredibly fun too as well. So thank you for coming on. Folks, order up the book. You can go on Amazon or wherever fine books are sold. Take it off, Revelations of a Male Exotic Dancer. And I think if they order it from you directly on your website, they get an autographed copy. Yeah, signed copy. I will even put for your particular audience, I will do it as VOSCODE, all small letters, V-O-S-S-C-O-D-E. Get a 20% discount on the courses and or the book.

So that's cool. And then on top of that, like you said, Amazon, Barnes & Noble in the States, and Chapters Indigo here in Canada. So, yeah, this place you can get it. Awesome. There you go. And then I'm not going to do that joke. Oh, go for it.

No, no. I was going to say can people order thongs in you and stuff like that oh that's so funny you said that I was actually looking at making bookmarks oh my god and I want to do dirty ones and clean ones and the dirty ones are like

you know what shape they're going to be and then on the bookmark and then the other side you flip it over and it's a ruler. Freaking perfect. Perfect, man. That's where I want to go with it. Oh, you know, I made a few porn star female friends in Clubhouse

during, you know, when everyone locked down. And I met Eric Everhart, who's in the porn business. He's been on the show with his book and he coaches people. And I met a few women that do the same thing. And yeah, they, they do the selling the underwear thing. It was kind of interesting to hear, you know, Hey, everything's a businessman. I mean, that's how I look at it. So, you know, marketing and you know, if, if somebody's buying it, so if you want to blame somebody, anything or whatever, you want to pull some moral card, pull it on the

people buying it. You know, if there wasn't a market, no one would do it. I know you have to go, but I will say this, you know, the know the most reviews that i've gotten on amazon have all been from women believe it or not and it's based it's a book that's based it's based to help men but they've all been like i need to actually get my man to read this freaking thing holy crap you're right figure this out holy crap you're right yeah yeah it's all women and that's the funniest part of the whole thing i'm sitting here going like are you kidding me so yeah it's kind of cool like but it just hasn't gotten out there right like the book hasn't gotten out there as far as it needs to go so hence why i'm here man i want to be able to wow so yeah you're not even kidding man i'm looking over your reviews so crazy

so crazy wow well there you go there you go go. You've got your fan base. Awesome, man. Anyway, thanks to my audience for tuning in. Thanks to Corey for being here. Go check out his book, of course. Go on goodreads.com, Fortuness Chris Voss. You can see my book and order it up. My books.

You can also go to youtube.com, Fortuness Chris Voss. Make sure you subscribe. We're going to have so many great authors on this year. I think we're approaching the new million mark

that we're hitting and then also another thousand shows. Also go to all our groups, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, all those different things. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. Be good to each other. Stay safe and we'll see you guys next time.