The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – The Force Continuum: How to Shift Your Mindset to Transform Your Life by Wendi Zimmer

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

The Force Continuum: How to Shift Your Mindset to Transform Your Life by Wendi Zimmer Wendizimmer.com Amazon.com In this information age, we are inundated with videos, podcasts, websites, social media posts, and many other sources of information that give us strategies and resources to achieve anything we want. From weight loss to learning another language, we don't have to look far to find people telling us what to do. The problem is that no one tells us HOW to achieve more, and we often are not ready to apply the information we receive. We allow our fears and doubts to get in the way and derail our belief in ourselves. To get what we want and to truly transform our lives, we must start by working on ourselves. We all have a power within us that helps us achieve what we want in life. This power is called FORCE, and when used correctly, it can transform who we are, how we view ourselves, and how we achieve what we want. The Force Continuum is a series of four pillars that, when strengthened, allow us to apply the information we already know. When strengthened, the Force Continuum, which consists of our mindset, identity, energy, and habits, gives us permission to believe in ourselves and take control of our lives. If we do not have what we want, or at least not yet, we can narrow the reasons down to at least one of four things. Our mindset: We do not believe we can achieve what we want. Our identity: We are not who we want to be or are not seen as we want and need to be seen. Our habits: We are not actively working to get what we want. Our energy: We are not paying attention to where our energy comes from and where it goes. That's it! Those four components explain why we do or do not get what we want. They make up the force inside us that transforms our lives by increasing our belief in ourselves and our ability to achieve what we want. For some of us, one component may be holding us back. For others, all four may get in our way. All four were holding me back at one time, but not anymore. I discovered a simple system for strengthening my mindset, identity, habits, and energy to unleash the force I had to believe in myself. Now, I want to teach you to do the same-how to believe in yourself to achieve more than you ever thought possible. To be the person YOU have always wanted to be.About the author Wendi Zimmer, PhD, is an expert in mindset development, a professor at Texas A&M University, an avid researcher, and an educational consultant. As an educator for over twenty years, she has used her research and experience to help thousands of people take power over their mindsets, using easy to implement strategies to make this relatively abstract concept of mindset development actionable.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. The CEOs, authors, thought leaders, visionaries, and motivators. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times, because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hi, folks. It's Voss here from thechrisvossshow.com. Ladies and gentlemen, there are the things that makes it official. Welcome to 60 years, 2,300 plus episodes of the Chris Voss Show.

As always, we bring you the Chris Voss Show with all the smartest people, all the billionaires, the White House President's Advisors, the Bullets Prize winners, the professors, all the smart people who write these amazing books to tell you how to live your life better. And damn it, if you guys aren't living your life better, then don't make me stop the car and come back there. Be sure to watch all the episodes we have.

Go back and just keep listening until you get it. Because at this point, you should be like the smartest person on the planet if you listen to the Chris Voss Show. I don't know why I'm not, but I did play with a lot of paint chips, lead paint chips when I was a kid. Opinions expressed by guests on the podcast are solely their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host or the chris faust show some guests of the show may be advertising on the podcast but it is not an endorsement or review of any kind anyway guys we have an amazing young lady on the show we're talking about her new book it is called and i'm not kidding about the pain chips her book is called the force continuum how to shift your mindset to transform your life The Force Continuum, How to Shift Your Mindset to Transform Your Life. Wendy Zimmer joins us on the show today.

We're going to be talking to her about her insights and everything else. And I believe we should be addressing you as doctor. Is that correct? Yes, sir. Or you can just call me Wendy. It does not matter. All right. Sounds good.

Does this look infected to you? No, this is a doctor joke I always say. Wrong. Wrong kind of doctor, Chris. Wrong. All right. Darn it. I'm screwed then.

It is green and pussing, so I'm not sure what's going on there. Anyway, we'll get into it with her. a doctor joke i always wrong wrong kind of doctor chris all right darn it i'm screwed then it is green and pussing so i'm not sure what's going on there anyway uh we'll get into it with her we're going to find out her insights and everything else she is a phd a best-selling author expert in mindset development professor at texas a&m university great ribs and down there and an education consultant as an educator for 20 years she's used her research and experience to help thousands of people take power over their mindsets and use easy to implement strategies to make this relatively abstract concept of mindset development actionable. Welcome to the show, Wendy. How are you? Thank you, Chris. I'm doing great. How are you? I am wonderful. It's glad to have you. Give us your dot coms. Where can people find you on the interwebs? Perfect. So go to my website, Wendy Zimmer dot com, W-E-N-D-I. My mother likes unique spellings.

So just Wendy Zimmer dot com and you can find out more about me and what I do. So give us the overview of what's inside your new book. Perfect. No, absolutely, Chris. I, you know, This book definitely is a combination of my life experience and then work that I do with my students and my clients. Overall, my mission in life is to help people increase the belief they have in themselves. Show up differently for themselves, show up differently for those around them. We spend so much time in our lives helping others and investing in others, and we often neglect our own selves. And so I've created a system for teaching people how to believe in themselves, and that's within my book. Do you find that a lot of people in society are suffering there? They don't really believe in themselves. They kind of have self-limiting concepts and belief systems? Yes, absolutely. Honestly, the latest data shows that one in four people worldwide have low mental well-being.

And that stems from largely a lack of self-belief. Because too often we don't feel that we're good enough or smart enough or strong enough or pick a thing, right? And so when that happens, we think negatively about ourselves. And as we increase those negative thoughts, we start to believe them because the negative is easier to believe. So it's becoming a worldwide epidemic and we've got to figure out a solution.

Yeah, I mean, a lot of people have had issues. It kind of reminds me of that Stuart Smalley daily affirmations thing. You're good enough, smart enough, and dogg dog on it people like you I said so what I do I stand in front of the mirror all day long and just I don't know my therapist says it's gonna be a while and maybe a lobotomies in my future I think or a straightjacket one of the two yeah they let me out of the straightjacket long enough to do the show every day so that's kind of nice it's nice obviously you have some self-belief chris or you would not be doing what

you do so maybe speaking up to your mirror every morning is doing more than you think i don't know it could just be rampant narcissism though too i think like people give a shit about anything i think about i seem to have that issue but no you you talk about in the book how in this information age we're inundated with videos those darn podcasts i'm reading your amazon websites social media posts many other sources of information that give us strategies to achieve what we want and it's it's kind of information overload a lot of the stuff that we get, right? Yes, it is. And that's the problem is we've been taught from a young, young age, or at least I have, and many people I work with are similar, that we need to believe in ourselves, that we need

to feel like we're good enough and we need to have confidence and we need to make sure that we stand up for what we believe in. But the problem is, is that people are very quick to tell us why we should believe in ourselves and they're very quick to tell us what we should believe about ourselves but too often nobody tells us how as we're like perfecting the word you said inundated as we are constantly inundated with new information i like to use the analogy of a like a locked cabinet we take all that information and we put it into the cabinet for one day when we're good enough or strong enough, or we feel that we're going to be the

type of person who can then use all those resources. We lock them away for that day when it comes. But the problem is, is when never comes. We use that as a massive lie and nobody helps us unlock that cabinet to then use all those resources. So we store them away for a day that we want to be good enough. Where in all actuality, we are exactly who we need to be right now. And as we start investing ourselves and start increasing our self belief, then we can use all those resources, we can use social media for good, we can use books and podcasts, and all that information that we need. But until we believe in ourselves, we're never going to apply that information. It's just going to become noise that makes us feel even more like we're not measuring up to some arbitrary guideline that's been set for us. I'll be happy when like when I make a bunch of money I'll be happy or I'll be a better person or I'll fix maybe some of my issues a trauma etc etc I'll do

that later you know we do a lot of that in time delay you know I'll play with my kids more but in the meantime I've got to do a lot of work right now and I'll just ignore them I guess for a while and then you know what's it old said old song about the cuts in the cradle and the silver spoon. You know that song that talks about the dad is always putting the son off. I'll play with you later, son. I'm busy right now. And then comes the time where the son's too busy for the father.

And it's kind of how life works. Sometimes we spend a lot of time with our head down thinking we're doing something that makes progress and maybe we're missing stuff. Do you get into your book, it sounds like some of this is a little bit of imposter syndrome. Like some people have that, it's really bad in their belief systems. Yes. I actually talk about imposter syndrome in my book. In fact, we've got to reframe what we think about imposter syndrome because imposter syndrome is, again, another lie. Now, imposter syndrome is not a lie, but the whole belief behind it is a lie that we tell ourselves because in all actuality, you're only an imposter when you don't belong there. But so often, you know, we are not supposed to know everything right now.

We're not supposed to have all the resources and all the support. Thank goodness. Let's be real for a second. Thank goodness. And so anytime that you're a student, you can't be an imposter. That goes against the definition of student. We should always be students. We should be lifelong learners working to be the best version of ourselves for us and

for others. And so if that's true, then we can't be imposters. Now, that doesn't mean we can't feel like imposters. As we increase our self-belief and as we figure out who we are and who we want to be, we can help ourselves feel less like imposters. But at its core, we are not imposters. We are just students that are learning and growing and working to invest in ourselves to be the best version we can be. And so when we reframe our mindset around that, it's easier for us to give ourselves grace. And it's easier for us to recognize that we're not supposed to be this perfect version of ourselves. We are a work in progress. And thank goodness,

because how boring would life be if this is as far as I was ever going to get, if there was no way for me to grow and be better and stronger than I am now. Yeah. And is that maybe why people feel they're not good enough at the time is because they're in that transition? Quite possibly. I mean, there's a lot of variables, transitions part of it, not taking the time to really reflect on who we are and who we want to be. I often feel sometimes that, especially in various points of our lives, we are truly just surviving. Day-to-day surviving. It's's like I made it through today. We live a day at a time. And there's nothing wrong with that for short periods of time. But when we allow that every

day over and over and over again, and we don't actually stop to think about it part of in my book, I asked specific questions about what do I believe about myself? What do I want to believe? You know, who do I want to see myself as? How do I want people to see me? How do I want to believe? You know, who do I want to see myself as? How do I want people to see me? How do I want to be seen through the lens of, you know, A, B, or C, pick? So I ask my audience specific questions to make you pause for a second and stop and think about what does this look like for you? Because for each of us, it's a very personal, personal system, personal plan. And we're not going to follow some, you know, the plan that's right for you, Chris, is very different than the plan that's correct for me. And so taking time to just really reflect

on where you are and where you want to be is not often a luxury that we give ourselves. And so that's one of the things I love about this book. When I set out, I joke that it's a choose your own adventure book, because in kind of picking for those of us, Chris, you may be younger than me, but for those of us that grew up like late 80s, early 90s reading those books, but because we are all in different places and what I need today may be different than what you need today. And it might be different than what both of us need tomorrow. And so giving us time to really digest that and permission, and we don't often allow ourselves the time to do that.

Is permission a big part of that? Allowing ourselves to be okay with ourselves, maybe? Absolutely. Absolutely. We spend so much of our time, I mean, from when we were little, asking for permission. Permission to anything, right? Permission to go to the bathroom if you're in school, permission to, I was an elementary school teacher for years, Chris, so that's where I go back. That's where it comes from. The history's coming back, but permission to stand up for myself, permission to be who I want to be because we're afraid that we're going to go against some norm that people have created for us. And so often we're scared and we think, oh, I have to have permission to be this person or do this thing.

We're in all actuality. That's just an old lie that comes from years of experience. As adults, we don't need permission anymore. We just think we do. And it can often be an excuse so we've got to be careful and not let it be some people are just using an excuse not to have to grow maybe not have to change absolutely and that's okay too if that's where you are at the moment but is that really where you want to stay most people not yeah i mean you you've got a i mean I I have seen a lot of people do that they do that

with that you know starting a business or growth or you know I'll get to that eventually you know and they never do and you'll be like hey you're still working on that thing yours from now that you know you're gonna work on and and you know I think you're right we do get caught up in the day-to-day you know you get caught trying to make a living instead of designing a life. And a lot of people, you know, they're like, well, I'll worry about that. I remember I sat down with my business partner in, was it 92? And we both had corporate jobs. And we had this opportunity to create our first company that we turned into a multi-million dollar company over, I don't know, what is it, 13, 14, 15 years it lasted.

And it built a whole empire of companies for us from there. And I remember sitting down with them and I said, you know, we can play the corporate game and we can spend the next 20 years, you and I, moving up the corporate ladder. And maybe if we get lucky, we'll get high enough to get a golden parachute out or some sort of nut that we can have to start our own company. But I got to tell you, I don't think I'm going to feel, you know, at 50 or 60 years old, I don't think I'm going to feel like starting a company and working 18 hours a day like we plan on doing here. And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, so if we do this now, we've got the ability to do it now and we should just go for it. He's like, yep, let's do it.

And that's how we launched. And it changed my life and changed his life as well. So, you know, well, we both, you know, kind of, well, maybe the time isn't perfect for this, you know. And boy, they're right. There's no way I can work 18 hours a day at 57. That's not going to happen. So you talk about mindset. How do you,

how do you, how do you, you know, this is a word that gets kicked around a lot. How do you define mindset? That's a great question, Chris. So I define mindset as the actions and attitudes that help us believe in ourselves. Because too often, I think we perceive or we define mindset as passive. It's, you know, it's my thoughts and it's my feelings and, but none of that really matters without the action. And so if we reframe around action, I mean, the example you gave just a second ago with you and your business partner is perfect because we can sit here all day long and think, oh, should I do it? Should I not do it? I think it's a good idea. But if we don't actually act on it, nothing happens. You would have still been in the same situation a decade later, because it would still have been a good idea. And you both would have been like, we should do this. But it never, it never happens. And so that action piece is one that we've got to take that step. They've actually

done a lot of research lately. And I don't know if you've heard, Chris, something that's called the five second gap or the five second hesitation. And it's essentially they've started doing research on highly successful people. And they're like, okay, how do highly successful people think differently? The thing is, is that they don't really think differently in the moment. They think differently from the get go because they decide I'm going to do it even when I don't want to. Because when we, that moment that we go, okay, I should do something. There's a five second hesitation between that moment we decide and when we actually do something. And in that five seconds is when feeling gets involved. So if we don't feel like doing it, like in the morning, your alarm goes off and you're like,

should I get up? If you don't feel like doing it, you don't. You hit the snooze, you roll back over. But in that five second gap, if you feel like doing it, then you get up. We're highly successful people. Don't let feelings get involved. They're like, the minute I decide to do it, I've already decided I'm getting up. I'm doing the thing. I'm making the decision. They don't allow that five second gap to stop them from taking action. And that's the big difference.

That action truly can change your life, can change your life. How many of us have looked at something and been like, oh, I can't believe somebody invented that. I had that idea 15 years ago. Why didn't I do it? You didn't do anything, but somebody else did. And that's the big difference, that action piece. We've got to see mindset less as our thoughts and feelings and more as the action that we take.

Because if you sit and you think about your feelings about it and you kind of meander about through that whole process, it can be hard to make a logical decision. You can kind of go feel and think about it a little bit more. And you're right, people take action. The same thing I talked about with my companies, launching my companies. We just kind of did it like 100 miles an hour. And a year and a half later, we start a second company just did it like a hundred miles an hour and a year and a half later, we started a second company just on a whim and a hundred miles an hour. And we didn't really think about it. We just, I mean, we thought about it a little bit, but we just kind of went, nope, get her done.

And we did it. And, you know, I look back on my life at these moments that I decided to make a decision and roll with it even though we we maybe weren't perfectly ready or perfectly prepared that's another mistake a lot of people make they're like I'll do it when I'm ready and the um and so yeah it's it I look back on those moments and I'm like whatever that moment was where I finally made the decision to push the button. I'm just like, thank God I did that. What if I had gone into my emotion and what if I had had been like, I'll do it tomorrow.

And there's a lot of stuff, you know, that I've done like that over time. And yeah, and I just I think about how different my life would be because those moments where I made that decision and activated that, that changed my life and you know, the difference that it made, et cetera, et cetera. And Chris, it's also, it's amazing because if you think about, you did exactly what so many people don't do because they think, oh, well, I'm not, I'm not ready. I don't have all the things I need. I don't have all the knowledge and all the skills and, and you never will be, but you, you were ready and had everything you need to take that first step. And that's where people have got to change their mindset around. You're never going to be completely ready. Think of the things you learned just with this podcast, Chris, you've been doing it. How many episodes

now? What did you say? 2300 plus. That's insane. Day one one your first podcast probably looked nothing like this one today but you're like i have to take one step and you learn along the way and you get better and you grow because had you known what it was going to look like this many episodes later you you probably would not even gotten started because it would have been too scary to even imagine but this podcast i would venture to say has probably changed your life and oh definitely yeah so just taking that first step quit worrying about the end result you have no idea what that's going to look like anyway take that first step take a risk have it be successful increase the belief you have in yourself and then you'll take more risk

and it's those little tiny baby steps and that's where i think so often we get in our own way because we're like oh i can't i can't be a successful podcast host what is wrong with you no today maybe not but today you can take one step toward being that person you want to be and that's you know a mindset shift that we all need to do the one thing i've learned as an entrepreneur in life is you just have to go get in it. You know, one of my friends, Billy Cox, he's a speaker and book writer. He's written multiple books. You know, he has this analogy of get in the game. That's his kind of key words there. And so he tells people, look, you've got to just get in the game. You've got to get into play. And as an entrepreneur, and even in life, you've got to just, you're really just doing fixing. So a lot of it is just problem solving.

So you're adapting, problem solving, learning, and it's just like a book or anything else, any other skill you want to master. You just have to get in and start doing it. And you're going to fall. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to muck it up, but you're, you're never going to get to where you want to go until you take that first step and you just get in the game as it were. Absolutely. I tell my students all the time, if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough, but you've got to think of it like, you know, I can either continue forward or I can quit. They both hurt. They both are difficult. They both are emotionally painful, but they're both a choice. So I can continue to fight and fight for what I want and strive toward whatever this goal is, or I can quit. I have

to decide what choice makes the most sense in my life because they're both going to hurt. And so, yeah, those scary dreams, Chris, it's what we should all be trying to do every day. I have a lot of scary dreams, but it's after Taco Bell, the Fae Night. Let's see. On mindset, what are some different ways that you have people apply mindset to what they're doing? Do you use vision boards, et cetera, et cetera? And one of the things you also talk about is identity. I think that's really important, having an identity that you belong or that you deserve it. So I actually, that's a good question. So vision boards are part of it. I honestly, what I use most of the time is just a combination of strategies. Because again,

as I mentioned before, we're all very different. So there's no formula for this, which is also what makes belief and mindset so difficult. I can't be like, okay, Chris, you're going to do A and B, because that's what works for you. And somebody else is going to do B and C, like it doesn't work that way. And so in my book, I list just dozens of strategies that people can start implementing quickly in their lives today because things that might work for me may not work for you and vice versa. And things that work for me today may not work for me tomorrow. But what I do know from all the people that I've worked with, but also my own life, is I don't have time to do a massive shift. To be like, okay, now I'm going to be a completely different person. And so finding different

strategies, and maybe it's vision board, and maybe it's gratitude journal, or maybe it has nothing tangible to it. Maybe it's a different thinking. One of the strategies that I teach people is what I call the have to get to shift, because our brains pay attention to what we tell them to pay attention to. It's part of our RAS, our reticular activating system. And so if we're paying attention to more negative, our brains give us more negative, and we're paying attention to more positive, our brains give us more positive. So too often in our lives, we take normal day to day activities, and we say I have to, I have to go to the grocery store, I have to go to work tomorrow, where that makes it negative, where if we say I get to,

like I get to go to work tomorrow, how many people it negative. Where if we say I get to, like I get to go to work tomorrow, how many people in this country are unemployed, that would love to have a job, or I get to go grocery shopping, that means I have money. I have access to food. I have people in my life who I feed so many different ways for us to frame our lives more positively. Because in all actuality, that's a more actual, honest, truthful reflection of what's happening anyway. Because how unfortunate would it be if I no longer could afford groceries? There are many people in this world that can't. And so little strategies like that, that help shift our mindset that take very little time but we develop habits around and so that is where my coaching and my teaching lie around those little strategies that

we can incorporate easily into our lives that before you know it become more natural but they're literally training our brain training our brain to see life situations and that includes us differently and then your question about identity kind of rolls into that as well of the type of person that we want to be because that's different for all of us if if i don't want to be a positive person then that's on me now my brain's gonna my brain my book's gonna give you reasons for why that's not so great for your brain but my book also has strategies on identity of figuring out who you want to be how you want to be seen how you want others to see you but also recognizing that that's okay we are so much more than these arbitrary roles that society has given us and i don, that's such a cliche thing to say, oh, I don't want to conform

to, but I do mean that of, I had to decide who I want to be and that may change tomorrow. And so my book also gives strategies around identity of who am I, who do I want to be? And then what does that mean for me as a mom? What does that mean for me as a mom? What does that mean for me as a colleague? What does that mean for me as a sister? And not feeling like I have to be what I think other people expect of me. It's okay for me to be who I want to be and not hide in the shadow of who I really am. And so that's a big piece of my book as well. Don't be who other people want you to be because there's a whole world that will try and take advantage of you and use you.

And so you want to be self-actualized. You definitely want to understand. Tell us about some of the service you offer. You mentioned some of your consulting, coaching and stuff that you do speaking on your website. Tell us about some of the offerings you have there. Absolutely. So I do quite a bit of consulting. I love to go in and work with organizations or

individuals and then talk about my book actually goes through four pillars. So there's mindset, there's identity, there's habits, and there's energy. And so it's the combination of all four of those because we obviously can't work on every part of our life. You got to smart, you know, start small. But I go in and I do consulting with organizations and individuals and help them figure out exactly who they want to be and why and how can they show up as the best version of themselves. And so there's obviously a personal aspect to that, but there's a professional aspect as well, because you start getting into when I believe in myself and I show up differently than my time management improves, then my conflict management improves. Then when I think about who I am as a leader,

my leadership ability improves. And so there's so many aspects of just believing in yourself that not only help us, but help those around us. And then I do, I love to come in and do keynote speeches or do workshops with groups and individuals, large groups, small groups, anything. Like I think I mentioned at the beginning, my goal, I've been on this great path to help increase my self-belief because I used to not believe in myself.

And I have overcome that to a large degree. I still work on it every day. We all have to. But I want to take what I've learned through my experience and my research, because I publish and I research on mindset and belief, so that other people don't have to go through what I've gone through. And so you can go to my website, wendyzimmer.com, and see different offerings and things there.

You can also follow me on social media because I spend a lot of time just trying to give tips and tricks and strategies that we can all implement on our daily lives. Because like I said, it's a process. We can't just walk in tomorrow and be like, oh, I have a good mindset now. I never have to think about it again. So it's making it a daily life habit. And I'm just blessed to be able to help people every day. So give people a final pitch out, tell them where they can find you on the dot coms and all that good stuff. Absolutely. Kind of my final thought, I love one of the quotes that I live by is Maya Angelou, do the best you can do until you know better. And then

when you know better, do better. That's kind of my guidance for today because believe in yourself the best you can until you get stronger self-belief and then carry that self-belief and help teach others. And so that's my goal. And I hope everybody today believes in themselves a little bit more because of this talk. You can definitely follow me on Instagram. I'm Wendy K Zimmer on Instagram.

And then on LinkedIn, I'm Wendy Zimmer. And so just find me or go to WendyZimmer.com and check that out. I will also say if you would like a sneak peek of my book, you can text the word FORCE to 33777. And you will get a sneak peek of my book and kind of see some of the strategies in there to see if the book is a good fit for you. Thank you very much for coming on the show. We really appreciate it, Wendy. Thank you, Chris. It's been a joy. I love it. Thank you. We've learned a lot in how to transform your mindset in your life. Order up the book, folks, wherever fine books are sold, The Force Continuum, How to Shift Your Mindset to Transform Your Life. And who doesn't want that? We all need to be better. I like that better saying know be the best you can be anyway guys go to goodreads.com fortress chris foss

linkedin.com fortress chris foss chris foss one on the tiktokity and all those crazy places the internet be good to each other stay safe we'll see you next time and that should have us out