The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – The Imposter Lies Within: Silence Your Inner Critic, Tame Your Fear, Unleash Your Badassery by Sheryl Anjanette

Episode Date: May 23, 2022

The Imposter Lies Within: Silence Your Inner Critic, Tame Your Fear, Unleash Your Badassery by Sheryl Anjanette A brilliant book that covers the intersection between business and mindset. A unique approach, illustrating the toll unchecked imposter syndrome has on health and performance, with a holistic approach to get past it. Do you feel like it's just a matter of time before you're found out? That you were lucky, or just in the right place at the right time? That you are not as accomplished as others think you are and you've been deceiving them all? You may feel like you're not good enough. Not worthy of what you have, or not deserving of what you've accomplished. There's a disconnect between your actual accomplishments and how you feel about them. The imposter within is lying. You're not really an imposter, and it's not that others think you are either. But the feeling is real. It feels like you may be exposed at any time as a fraud. Ready to meet the liar? This imposter within doesn't recognize the real you. Your Inner Critic gives voice to the lies that keep you playing small or struggling. If the idea of letting go of crippling self-doubt, fear and anxiety sounds appealing, this book is for you. Sheryl Anjanette takes you through a powerful journey that is thoughtful, methodical and practical. You will find more than twenty exercises and further resources to get past imposter syndrome and not just through it. You will find the holistic approach and concepts of The Healthy Zone and The Mind Stack as keys to step into a life of inner peace where you adapt easily to change, handle new opportunities with confidence and feel energized by your accomplishments. This idea that you can live imposter-free is a refreshing perspective for those who have felt they just needed to live with these uncomfortable internalized emotions.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain now here's your host chris voss hi this is voss here from the chris voss show.com the chris voss show.com hey welcome to the big show we certainly appreciate you guys tuning in and being here once again. Thanks for being here. I always mean that, you know. Some people listen

to that and they go, they'll take me aside and they'll be like, Chris, do you really mean that you really appreciate us tuning in to the show every day? I really do. I really promise. Do I need to set up like one of those Bibles? Because that whole depth thing has been going on, the trial thing. Maybe I need to do like a trial thing. I need to put my hand up and say,

I swear to the court that I love all my audience, except for that one guy in the back. You know who you are, the one guy with that blue t-shirt on. Anyway, guys, thanks for joining me. We certainly appreciate you guys being here. As always, put your arm around your friends, neighbors, relatives. Look them deep

in the eye. Tell them, you know what? I care about you. Because I care about you, I want you to join the family that loves you but never judges you. The Chris Foss Show family. The Chris Foss Show podcast. So subscribe to the podcast now. Tell your friends, neighbors, relatives that they can do it. Also, you can go to youtube.com

to take advantage of this limited time offer they have over there. You go over there and freely hit the bell notification button. You can watch all the amazing videos of the Chris Voss Show. They're like videos that are 13 years old. I got like three comments this week of people watching 9 to 13-year-old videos. And I'm just like, holy crap.

And I'm like, people just still consume the content. There's a great playlist over there if you want to watch all the brilliant authors that we have, hundreds of them over the years. Also, go to Goodreads.com, Fortress Chris Foss. See everything you're reading and reviewing. My book over there as well. Go to all our groups, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, all those crazy places the kids are playing with that social media.

The big LinkedIn newsletter, of course, subscribe to that, and our 122,000 LinkedIn group as well. Today we have another amazing author on the show. In the show, on the show. She's in the show screen if you watch on YouTube. She's coming to us with her latest book, her newest book that has just come out on May 11th, 2022. It's hot off the presses. So is that ink smell that you can get high off if you really want to.

I don't know. Didn't we do really want to. I don't know. Didn't we do that as kids? I don't know. The imposter lies within. Silence your inner critic. Tame your fear. Unleash your badassery by Sherrilyn Jeanette. She's on the show with us today, and she'll be talking about this amazing book that you want to order from wherever fine bookstores are sold.

Bookstores or books, you know, wherever you want to buy them. It's up to you. Just don't go in those alleyway bookstores. They always have like you need a tetanus shot or something when you go in there. She is a best-selling author, international speaker, thought leader, and founder of Anjanette Wellness Academy and AWI Media. With more than 30 years of experience in the business arena, she has helped companies large and small innovate to accelerate their businesses. Her award-winning

integrative marketing and communications agency that she held for 20 years engaged with companies across multiple sectors to include media, communications, technology, healthcare, finance, and more. She was the recipient of 10 Marcom Awards for design and copy, and her work as the managing publisher for two industry magazines. Her foundation as the business strategist has informed her expertise in helping companies of all stages to rapidly bring ideas from conception to reality. Welcome to the show, Cheryl. How are you? Just great, Chris. So good to be here.

Just great? Just great? Not like stupendously great? Stupendously great. Stupendously great because I'm with you. There you go. It's a Friday, so we're having a little bit extra fun today. So welcome to the show. Congratulations on the new book. Give us your dot com so people can look you up on the interweb. Yeah, easy to find me. It's everything is under Cheryl and Jeanette, but Cheryl's with an S. So S-H-E-R-Y-L and Jeanette, A-N-J-A-N-E-T-T-E dot com. There you go. Yep.

So this is your first book. What motivated you to want to write this book? You know, I wanted to get this idea, these ideas that are just very unique in the universe of imposter syndrome. I wanted to get this out to the world because so many people that I saw were giving part of the story. It wasn't that they were giving a bad story. In some cases, yes, but it was that I didn't feel like it was a full transformation. And the one-to-one or even my one-to-many with groups just wasn't enough. I wanted to make this accessible for everyone. That's awesome. So give us an overview, like a 30,000 view of the book, if you would, please. Sure. Well, the book itself, The Impostor Lies Within, Silence Your Inner Critic,

Tame Your Fear, Unleash Your Badassery is really a journey. So I say right in the beginning, this is more than a book. It's not something you just read. It's something you really use because there is a map, a mind map in this. And I take you through four parts, four stages. So we start with awareness. There are five chapters around awareness to really understand what imposter syndrome is, but also what it's not and how it's showing up. I have a signature framework to really show people how it's showing up for you. And then we get into this part that's about insight. We really do the deep dive inside. Where is this coming from? Why do we self-sabotage? Who is this wounded inner child? What's really going on? Which is the place a lot of people don't want to go to if they've been suppressing those emotions for a long time. And then once we figured out what's out of alignment,

because really that's what imposter syndrome is. There's a disconnect between how somebody feels and their actual accomplishments. So very accomplished people still won't feel good enough. So now we figure out where you're out of alignment. The next five chapters are really about getting back into alignment. And the fourth part of the journey is integration because a fully integrated whole person is what we're after. A whole adult, not the kid that's coming out. A during kid. It's interesting to me, we've had so many psychologists and authors on the show

and people in science and study in psychology. It's interesting to me, we've had so many psychologists and authors on the show and people in science and study and psychology. It's interesting to me how much of our whole lives arc is, is, is, uh, uh, is, is rendered by the wounded child trauma from childhood,

uh, issues from childhood. Um, you know, I mean, my mom didn't buy me an ice cream at that 31 Baskin flavors and, I've been scarred ever since. Uh, and rightly so, I mean, my mom didn't buy me an ice cream at 31 Baskin Flavors and I've been scarred ever since. And rightly so.

I mean, I think we can all agree that daiquiri ice is something a child should not be deprived of. But that aside, my mom was great. But, you know, it's interesting to me how many people have reconciled that. And it is a hard thing to reconcile sometimes the trauma of your childhood, all jokes aside. Yeah. And what's so interesting when we do that deep dive and the inner child is such a big part of that, a lot of what we think on the conscious level isn't actually what the core issue, the root cause is, or we know part of it, but we don't understand all of it. So for example, I came from a beautiful family. I had two parents. We had the upper middle class life.

And from the outside, everything looked great. I also had a father that was an amazing dad, really nurturing, really loving, great role model. But when he'd get upset, and we all get upset at times, his way of dealing with that was to leave, jump in the car and take a drive. But as a little kid growing up, I said, Daddy, get upset. I said, Daddy, walk out the door. I said, Daddy, leave. And in my little mind, I thought, why is Daddy leaving? Why is Daddy leaving? Is he going to come back? I never thought I had abandonment issues. Never would have guessed. If you'd asked me at a conscious level, no way, Jose. But when I did that deep dive, when I really went in and I use hypnotherapy to do that, and also some NLP techniques,

I have multiple techniques that I work one-on-one with people on. But we do that deep dive. It's so often that we have to look below what we think it is. And we find those originating events, but then we transform them, we transmute them, we change them. So they're not showing up in life anymore. That's really important. In fact, I've seen a lot of daddy issues in my life and the effect it has on relationships and how those form with new people and then challenges there. But, yeah, there's a whole host. So out of my eight personalities, which one is the imposter one so I can… I'm so glad you asked that because so many people say, like, imposter syndrome. Does that mean you're

an imposter? And just to get that really clear, Chris, imposter syndrome does not mean you're an imposter and it doesn't mean other people think you're an imposter. It's just that we feel like we're an imposter. There's like this internalized feeling like we're a fraud and we're going to be exposed at any moment in spite of our accomplishments. I have that problem where I have an imposter syndrome. I think deep down, I'm a Victoria's Secret model, but for some reason I'm covered in lots of blubber and just waiting to be found out. I don't know what that means. So let's talk about some of the aspects of your book here. I think I had something pulled up and let's see where it's at. So what are the myths about imposter syndrome? Why are they damaging? Yeah. So chapter two covers eight myths about

imposter syndrome. One of them, I just told you that you're really an imposter. You're not. Another one is feel the fear and do it anyway is the cure for imposter syndrome, right? You hear that all the time. That's okay. You've got this. Just move through that fear. And here's what I have to say about that. Yes, it's good to move through our fear. Fear is uncomfortable and sometimes it's hard to push through, but that's not a cure for imposter syndrome. If it was, all these really accomplished people, leaders, world leaders, CEOs, executives, influencers, celebrities have done that, right? They've pushed through their fear. They felt it anyway. They do it over and over again. And they still come out on the other side, feeling like they're not good enough, feeling like they're going to be exposed.

In fact, that feeling is heightened. So that's another big myth. Yeah? Yeah, the feeling the fear. Yeah. Feel the fear. Yeah. I'm always doing it.

So high achievers experience imposter syndrome too. Does it get worse when you become a high achiever where you feel like, you know, I don't deserve this? Well, yeah, because here's the thing. At the core of this are these emotions of not good enough, not worthy, not deserving, or like our voice doesn't matter, we don't matter. And so we learn to put on the confidence suit. We learn to go out into the world to show up the right way, to say the right things, to push through our fear. And as we do that, we have these accomplishments, right? So we're kind of suppressing those emotions. We're suppressing them. And then what happens is we get more accomplishments and the fear of exposure

increases. There's more to lose. Oh, no. Now all these people answer to me. I'm the leader or I'm the celebrity. I don't want to get that vulnerable because it's going to look weak. Right? So they suppress the emotions even more. So it's important to recognize those and deal with, okay, I'm going through imposter syndrome. I'm having some issues with all of that. And try and figure out what works best for them.

I think it's incredibly important when you understand the cost personally, professionally to your relationships. There are seven archetypes. So there are eight myths, seven archetypes. I have a lot of numbers, 20 exercises in the book, 20 chapters. But the seven archetypes, when we really understand the framework for imposter syndrome, there's the perfectionist, the people pleaser, the master who just needs one more certification or degree to be good enough. There's the lone ranger who has trouble asking for help because they're afraid they're going to be found out it's not good enough and they have trouble delegating in the workplace. There's superhero, the savior, the prodigy that feels like they have to go from zero to hero immediately because that in-between learning curve is too shaky. So what happens is we have all of these behaviors that are costing us a lot and we don't even realize it. We've gotten so used to normalizing it, which is a terrible thing. We normalize it that we just say we just have to live

with it. It's something that I think a lot of people struggle with. And there's the fake it to the make it crowd. I mean, that's kind of how I always got through things. Fake it till you make it. And like you said, on that confidence thing, why is that not always the best for us? Well, it's not that doing that itself as a technique or strategy is bad. It's just that you don't want to say, you don't want to live in that place. So as a beginner, if you're new at something,

there's a learning curve, right? You're going to learn, you're building a competency. And as you build the competency, you're going to build confidence. But that's the confidence. That's the confidence in what you do, not who you are. You see, confidence is a two-sided coin. So what happens is when we live in that, we continue to just fake it till we make it. And we still feel like we're faking it when we have the competency, we're already the expert. Maybe it's a little less intensive an emotion, but we still feel like a fake. So the idea that that's the solution leaves people in that lurch, that leaves people in that place of saying,

okay, I just have to live with this. So it can be very damaging because we continue to suppress the emotions. And by the way, they're not really suppressed. They're just delayed. They're going to come out. That's where the inner child comes out. We self-sabotage. We don't go after that opportunity

or we procrastinate or we pass up on that relationship, business, personal, love relationship, whatever it is, we sabotage. And that's the imposter fear of like, if I go do that, then I'll be found out. It is. Yeah. I suppose because somebody keeps playing video games every now and then. Yeah. We numb out.

We use avoidance, escapism. You do not have to look within because there's this feeling like, oh, if I look within, there's so much now that's suppressed there. It's going to be like opening Pandora's box. But the truth is when you shine a light, it's really not that scary. And by expressing those emotions, understanding them. Listen, Chris, it's this simple. It's simple and yet it's not easy, right? But it's this simple. When we look within and we start to look at these core beliefs, where they came from, the root causes,

like not good enough or where they're deserving, we're going back to our child and a child at different ages and different stages, right? And understand that that child interpreted, gave a meaning to an experience at that age and that time. So you have an experience like mom turns out the light, closes the door and it's dark. And I get scared, but I'm three or I'm four or I'm five. I get scared and I think there are monsters in the closet. Are there really monsters in the closet? Is the dark really scary? No, when you turn on the light, you can see there are no monsters in the closet, right? So we have this interpretation at that age. Daddy left the

house. He went running off in the car. He's abandoning me where maybe he won't come back. As a 25 or a 35 or a 45 or a 65-year-old person, you're looking at that going, no, daddy just need to blow off some steam. Everybody gets a little bit angry. It's not that big of a deal. So we have to go back in and we have to reframe that. We can transmute, transform that. Talk to that child. Let that child emote because those emotions need to be expressed.

And then let them go. Give them a new story. Yeah, it's definitely interesting. That was probably better than what my dad did because he'd blow a stack. So technically, you're kind of better off. Yeah, a child doesn't understand what's going on. Child's like, you know, what the hell? Now, what's unique about your approach to imposter syndrome? I know there's a couple books out on it. What's unique about your approach? Yeah. Well, a couple of things. First and foremost, it's holistic by design.

So we don't just do the outside work, which is the repatterning. We don't just, and we do do that work. It's super important because we do get patterned. We do have habits in our beliefs and our thoughts and our self-talk, not just our behaviors, not just our actions. But we do the deep dive too. We go from the inside out and the outside in. So we find those root causes because that's the reprogramming. Think about it as reprogramming the mind and repatterning the mind. On the repatterning, it takes practice. We have to create new neural pathways in our brain so that they become the

path of least resistance. They become the familiar path. There you go. And so then we won't feel like we're imposter. Will that help our confidence feel stronger? Definitely. So confidence is a two-sided coin. I kind of alluded to that earlier. There's the confidence in who we are and there's the confidence in what we do. So when you can get, think about it. If you have somebody that's super confident in who they are, you know, you're good enough, you know, you're worthy, you know, deserving, and you start something, you're not very good at it. You don't have the competency yet. You can go out there and say, you know what? I'm new at this. I'm learning. I'm going to be like that kid that gets curious, that gets creative, that falls down and bounces back up, maybe cries a little and says, okay, I'm going to try again. I'm going to try again.

I'm going to try again. And you iterate to great. You iterate to greatness. But what we, so you have that inner confidence. You don't even have to have the outer confidence yet to be okay, to go along for the ride, to gain that expertise, to get feedback. I don't call it failure. Rather than fail, you get the feedback, you get the information. Now, if you aren't doing the inner work and you just have the outer confidence because you've worked really hard and you've gotten the competency, you're definitely going to increase your confidence in that thing.

But what happens is a lot of people have their job, their J-O-B or that thing they're the expert in, but they try to do something new and they're like, oh, the imposter syndrome showing up. I don't know how to do this. And do you understand the difference? Oh yeah, definitely. Definitely. Yeah. Now you talk about habits and how do habits play a role at overcoming imposter syndrome? Well, that's the repatterning. So it kind of goes back to this idea that we think, okay, I never sit down and get my work done. I'm always procrastinating.

So I'm going to create a new habit where I'm going to sit down every day at 7 a.m. I'm going to create my list. I'm going to do the hardest things first. And I'm not going to let myself have whatever my reward is until I do my hardest things. That's an action habit. That's a behavior habit. But we have to remember that beliefs are habitual. The beliefs like I'm not good enough or I'm not worthy or I'm not deserving, those are

habitual as well. So eventually that little voice will come back in and say, well, you really aren't good enough to do this. And we get thrown off the track. So we have to repattern from the inside out. We start with the beliefs. We understand them, we identify them, we clear them, but we don't clear them before we know what we're going to replace because a void screams to

be filled. Well, that makes sense. We have to focus on that. And what are a couple of things that listeners can do right now if they're experiencing imposter syndromes? Anything you can tease out? Yeah. So the very first thing is one of the immediate reactions or emotions we have with that is fear and anxiety, right? So the very first thing, most important thing, and by the way, a lot of people hearing this are going to know this. So there's a difference between knowing and doing. So it's a matter of creating a habit of this. It's doing some really deep, slow breathing, breathing into a count of six to eight, holding it for the same number of counts, six to eight counts, and letting that breath go slowly,

six to eight counts, at least three to five rounds. And what that does is when we get into that anxiety or fear, we go into this part of our brain that fight, freeze, or flight part of the brain, right? In our limbic system, it's a primitive part of our brain, the amygdala. We go into that part of our brain and we are using that executive function, the prefrontal cortex of the brain. So the very first thing you do is you get yourself into what's called the parasympathetic nervous system. When you're in a freeze fight

or fight, you're in the sympathetic nervous system. You want to get yourself back so that your logical brain can speak to your emotional brain, right? And then if a lot of things are going on around you that are making you feel overwhelmed with this imposter syndrome, set yourself firmly in the eye of the storm. Just say, you know what? All this stuff is swirling around me, but I'm in my peaceful center. And see yourself because part of the language of the subconscious is visual. It's the pictures in our mind, our imagination.

So that's the first thing. And the second thing I'm going to just give you right now, and again, I have 20 exercises in my book, but the second thing I want to give you right now is write your badass list. Write it out. If you've done it before, do it again. Do it now. Write, literally, handwrite it if you can, not just on your computer because your intuition will come in through your handwriting. Write down all the things you've accomplished and include soft skills. Include things like being a good listener, being a good manager, being a good friend.

Include the things, having patience, whatever those things are, include those. Include them all. And then take a snapshot of that and put it on your phone or put it in your notes. So if you're out and about, everybody has their phone on them, right? That you can remind yourself. You can remind yourself. That's an important starting point. You know, it's amazing when we, I know that when we visualize stuff, like a lot of people use this. We've had Olympic coaches on the show that coach the Olympic players. And it's amazing how much of that visualization techniques, you know, visualizing it and having it in your mind brings that familiarity that people can do stuff and achieve it. It's quite extraordinary how powerful that is.

So, so powerful. But it's a matter of consistency. Because, again, the neurons in our brain create neural pathways. And as we do something over and over and over, we start to automate that. That's the habit. Because our brain is amazing the way our brain is created in our mind. It does things on autopilot to just make us more efficient, more effective, but it sees whatever is familiar as where we should be going. So you have to do this over and over and over until you create a neural pathway. And that becomes the familiar neural pathway. That becomes the familiar automation. So for example,

I used to multitask all the time. And I thought that that was really one of my superpowers. I was never able to just stop and do one thing. I had to do three or four things at the same time until I realized that was creating a lot of overwhelm in my mind. It was keeping me in this chronic state of anxiety. And so I stopped and I wasn't being as efficient or effective. I thought I was, but I wasn't. That was the disconnect. And so I started to train myself over and over to land one plane at a time. That was really uncomfortable at first. Now it's really uncomfortable for me to multitask. If you ask me to do two things at one time, my mind will say, no, just finish this task and then do that next thing

and wrap the bow on it. So this is really important because as you're doing this, do it in things that are low impact, things that don't matter. Like I'm going to make my cup of coffee. I'm going to finish it. I'm going to sit down. Then I'm going to write my list. After my list is done, then I'm going to call, make that first call or let my husband or my wife know X, Y, Z or whatever it is. And you practice it on the things that really aren't difficult. And that way, when the big things come up, it's kind of a pattern already in your mind. You're like, the overwhelm is there. I've got 20 things on my to-do list. I'm about to launch this, whatever it is tomorrow, or I'm going to go into the speaking agent. It's like, no,

I already know. I just need to figure out which plane to land first, second, and third. That's the habit connection. Yeah. It's definitely the visualization and the habits and understanding how that goes into. You talked too about the book, well, at least it's in the title, Unleash Your Badassery. Is there any badassery techniques that we should touch on? Yeah. This is harder for women than men. There are definitely some gender differences with imposter syndrome. By the way, men and women experience imposter syndrome almost equally, just differently. So women are often, yeah. And so women are often, and not just women in so many cultures are conditioned to play small, to not talk about

their accomplishments, that it's part of being humble where you just need to be humble. And I'll tell you what, you can be humble and still be confident and talk about your accomplishments in a very confident way. It doesn't mean that you're bragging. You know this because you're a highly accomplished person, Chris. And so when you own your badassery, it's like you believe it. I'm going to stop and I'm going to say, I'm going to own my accomplishments unapologetically. I did that. I did that thing. And that's okay. What happens with imposter syndrome is we give it away to luck.

Oh, I was just lucky or it was because of my team. It was because of everyone else. And that's okay to give credit to other people that have helped you along the way. But what's really happening is we're giving it away. We're not allowing ourselves to celebrate and say, wow, you know what? I did it. I wrote that book. I mean, I actually wrote the book. It's out there to the world. Yeah. It's interesting how making that decision to build things, to chain things and everything else makes all the difference in your world and then you see the results of it. I went through that with my book

where I was biting the elephant. I remember, I think I probably went through some imposter syndrome. Who cares what my... You get lost, especially in the editing part. Oh my God. But you get lost. You're like, no one's going to read this book. I i'm an idiot i'm a fraud telling my stupid stories like no one's gonna care about these stories um you know fortunately i told them for 35 years and people always seem to enjoy them

but you know you're just like seriously is anybody pay for this crap um right we go through that yeah you go through it i went through the book a lot of times. And I think, I don't know, you tell me. You're the pro at this. I mean, was that my imposter trying to screw me up and take me off track? You know, what I'm going to tell you is this. I'm going to give you some information so that you can tell me or tell yourself. Okay, because here's the thing, we know ourselves the best, but sometimes we don't understand what's really going on or what

imposter syndrome really is. So there's a concept and a whole chapter on this, but I do talk about it throughout the book at length called the healthy zone that I've coined. And so in the healthy zone, all of these emotions we're talking about with imposter syndrome are healthy. They're adaptive. So fear is an emotion that's wired into us. We don't want to get rid of fear. That would be unhealthy, right? We would run into the lion's den. We do things that could be really harmful to ourselves. So fear can be a friend. It does not need to be a foe. If it's adaptive, it's in the healthy zone. Doubt, which you just talked about, is anyone going to read my book? Does anybody

really care? Doubt is our discernment muscle. Can you imagine no doubt? You'd believe everyone, right? You'd be taken by the real imposters, by the real con artists. So we want to have doubt, but we want to have that in the healthy zone. Here's another one. Another one that, oh my goodness, this is a really painful one for so many people that are experiencing imposter syndrome. And by the way, I always say experience. I never say suffer or struggle because our subconscious mind is always listening. So when we're struggling with something, our subconscious mind hears struggle. And it feels like we can't change it or suffer. And we may actually feel that, but we change that message. And it's in our thoughts

as well. Remember, our subconscious mind is listening to our emotions and our thoughts, our words, our behaviors. It's listening to it all. So we have to be congruent. But when we change those words to experience, doesn't an experience seem like something that's easier to change than something you're struggling with or suffering from? Now, you work with something called the Mind Guide. Yes. And then you coach clients and stuff too as well with one-on-one programs, online learning, onsite training, and speaking. Talk to us a little about what you do there.

And, of course, let us know how people can reach out to you for some of this stuff and work with you. Yeah. Yeah. So the mind guide, like the healthy zone are two really important terms that I use and processes I've used. So just really quickly going back to the healthy zone. If you understand your doubt, what you want to do is then be able to self-assess and see if you've kept that in the adaptive zone. When you start to feel that doubt, is anyone going to read my book? What are the thoughts you're having? What's the self-talk, the dialogue between your ears? Are you beating yourself up or are you coaching yourself and say, no, I've got this? You know what? It's okay. And even if nobody reads it, so what? I'm going to feel good about it.

I wrote the book. I did this thing. So you get to self-assess. Now, if you're in a maladaptive zone, then you start to have the rumination. You stay up at night. You procrastinate. You're afraid to actually launch. That's the failure to launch issue, right?

So in the mind stack, the mind stack is another really important way that I look at the way this stacks up. Because when you're talking about the inside out and the outside in, the bottom layer, the foundation of the mind stack are our experiences. And that feeds the belief. So we have an experience. We have the meaning we gave it. That feeds the belief. The belief informs our thoughts. Our thoughts inform our self-talk. And then we start to have the behaviors as that goes up the pyramid. So that's the mindset. And we start to understand how this all plays together to reprogram and repattern the mind. Does that make sense?

It definitely does. I mean, the's, it's, it's just, it's the computer's kind of like, or the computer, the brain's kind of like a computer. Yeah. Set the reprogram and readapt and, and, you know, it usually tells you what you tell it. So whatever you tell it, it goes, okay, we'll give you more of that. You want that? We got that. We got that for you. So this has been pretty insightful. I really like how people read about this and stuff. I came to a conclusion, like you mentioned earlier, where when I reached a point, I came to a conclusion in the book where I was enjoying so much telling these stories that as an African griot used to do with his story, with your history, being a verbal history, and that was the only way they could record it.

I've been telling these stories for 35 years, and I'm like, being able to finally put them on paper and get them out of my head because I realized I've been walking around telling these stories because not so much to entertain people. I mean, that was kind of fun, but also i was trying not to forget them because they mattered and and they made a difference to me and uh so uh i finally reached a point where i'm like i don't care like when i got down to the end of somewhere in editing where i was really struggling and that's where a lot of people you know really struggle my author friends were like i was calling him up going i'm to throw this whole thing out the window. Like, screw it all. You know, cause editing is nightmare. And, uh,

uh, and, and I'm just like, screw this. I'm not doing this anymore. And they go, no, no, this is the best part. You're there. You're right there when you're right there. And I'm like, how do you guys, you guys are masochists. Like, why do you do this? And so, uh, I came to the conclusion that, you know what, I didn't care if anybody wrote the book and I put this on Facebook too. I go, you know what? I've reached the point with this book where I don't care if anybody reads it. This is my book. I did it. I crossed the finish line with it. This is my reward. And if anybody likes it, it's a bonus round. If I get a review on Amazon, we've gotten some great reviews. If I get, you know, something, I don't care. This is my book. And it kind of, it kind of turned into something for me. And then another thing someone told me

that was really interesting, who was an author is they go, there's somebody out here, out there who needs this book. They need this advice. They need this story. And they're in, and you're going to help them out of a dark situation by when they read your book at the right time. And you've got to remember, you've got to get to that person. I thought that was kind of interesting too.

So, so important in your book is amazing. You know, it's so interesting because I'd gotten my heart back and then I just got my paper back. And so I, I've and then I just got my paperback. And so I've been cozying up with my paperback. And the cool thing about the paperback, I don't know if you do this, but I like I dog ear it, you know, and I'm like, oh, and it's been, you know, I mean, I'm having trouble because I don't want to go to sleep. I like staying up way too late because I'm like in the book. And I said, okay, well, maybe that's a good sign because I'm reading it as a consumer, not as the author right now.

Have you ever done that with your book? I don't know. I've read it so many times through editing. It became like now when I do podcast interviews, I have to go like, what's in this thing again? I've kind of tried to, I don't know. I have to go, go, go like, what's in this thing again? Yeah. I've kind of tried to, I don't know. I needed a real break after editing. I wrote it in like three months.

So I would, yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, sorry. I'll tell you the editing thing. I mean, I know my editor's going to watch this and she was actually my freshman college roommate. Believe it or not, it's such a good story. But there were like love-hate relationships in the editing process. But I felt the same way. And I'd encourage you to go back and just read it like a consumer would read it.

Just read it like that so you can celebrate that. That's a good piece of getting past imposter syndrome. Definitely. Definitely. You know, I've got to actually go do the audio book next. And we try to do the audio book out of editing. And, you know, one of the problems with the editing with, I'm sorry, the audio book is you don't get paid on a per book basis. You get paid on some weird skizzle of whatever Amazon decides to pay you.

And so it's not as profitable as the book itself. And so I said, you know, we're going to do like what most, what a lot of publishers do. They put it off and they do, you know, you do staggered release sometimes. You put the audio book out later. Maybe, you know, a lot of big publishers put the paper back out later, you know, something like that. So that's what that's

what we plan on doing but i've got to go back and do it and i'm going to read the book myself uh and uh i think i think the stories will be better for people by me reading the book than than not so there you go uh give us your plug so people can find you on the interwebs and learn more about you, please. Yeah. So, well, one of the things that anyone can do,

you can always find me at Cheryl and Jeanette.com. So, and my Instagram handle LinkedIn, I think is the same. There might be a hash, a dash in there. I have to go back and look, but you can find me in social media. You can go to

my website. I do have a quiz. So for anybody that would like to just get their imposter syndrome score and go through that quiz, I have a deeper assessment as well that I do, but it's a really good way to understand if and how imposter syndrome is showing up for you. And you can also just plug in CherylAnjanette.com forward slash quiz and grab that. And then I do accept one-on-one clients. I'm limited in the number of people I can accept. So you just need to reach out to me at hello at CherylAnjanette.com or you can set up a call just to, we can chat. But I do work one-on-one. So some people just really want to have that deeper dive.

It's usually six to 10 sessions is a max. In some cases, it's just one or two. You know, it's not like working with a therapist where you're in it for years. We get you past it. We move the needle. We get the transformation. That's really what I'm about, getting past this. There you go. There you go. Well, we certainly

appreciate having you on the show, Cheryl. It's been really insightful and I think our audience has learned a lot. Give us your.com so people can find you on the interwebs and everything else. Thank you very much for coming on. Yeah, charlangenette.com. And I've just so appreciated this, Chris, and I'm so glad that you're going to do your Audible. Are you recording yours? In your voice?

Maybe it's cheap, but I also think my stories are better. But the biggest challenge is you've got to hit word on word. You can't ad-lib. No, you can't. You can't screw around. And I would really like to ad lib mine. And I tried to actually do it a couple of times and I was just so fried. I mean, writing a book in three months is just not something that I'd highly recommend. I was

starting to write stuff. I was writing for 12 hours a day and I was, I was like, you know, starting to write like a, the shining, you know, all work and no play. It makes Jack a dope boy. My friends, I think we're starting to really worry about me. I had like a whole group around me that was like,

I think he's losing it. Like we know he'd lost it years ago, but I think he's really rubber rooming it this time. It's time to have him committed and put him in there. Anyway, thank you for coming on the show. You bet. I just have to say, Chris, mine took nine months. It was the birth of a baby, a perfect gestation. The baby was a little breached during the editing process. It wasn't an easy birth. It was a long labor. I mean, the labor was like six weeks, but, but yeah.

And I'm actually, I'm so glad you're recording yours because you have a great voice and I'm recording mine right now and I'm doing mine in my own voice. And so how are you doing with that? I know we tried to wrap the show, but how are you doing with that? Is that, is he,

are you have to doing a lot of rest that, are you doing a lot of restarts or are you doing a studio? You know, I've got a great audio engineer and so he just explained to me that I just need to stop and re-say a sentence if I didn't get it exactly right and he's editing

out anything that I, that doesn't need it, you know, and he's making it just sing. So it's, it's going well. I'm not having to redo and redo and redo. Uh, but, um, yeah, I'm, I'm in the, I'm still in the first 25%. So I've got to get busy. I've got to get it done. I think engineering is the way to go. Although, I don't know. I would probably end up, I don't know.

I was having a lot of rage problems trying to do it. And I don't think another person being in the room would help or be healthy for anyone, especially them. You know, I want to do it myself, and I think people will enjoy it or not. But I think the stories will shine a little bit better. It's just hitting the exact words. I mean, like, when I read mine, I was, like, trying to ad-lib stuff. I'm like, here, here's some bonus material for you. I might do, some people said to do an audio CD where there's bonus material or, you know, ad-lib stuff, I go, hey, let me go a little deeper on

the story that I didn't really fully tell. And here's some added juice that got thrown on the cutting room floor, you know, cutting room floor stuff that didn't make the book. You know, the editor's like, that doesn't make any sense, you idiot. You know, and I had some really great stories that might end up in the second or third book that we're working on now. And, and they, and they, they didn't really fit,

you know, like they're like, it doesn't really go with the flow, but they're good stories. At least that's what they told me just to get me to knock it off. And so I, you know, I've always thought about putting them on a, on a added CD,

but I wish I could add Lib it in the audio book because that would just be like a bonus. Yeah. You know, it's interesting because I wrote my book in a conversational style. And so as I'm reading it, it actually matches the tone of reading it. The writing and the reading are pretty congruent. So it's not been as difficult for me, but I could see where if I was just reading something that didn't have that conversational style,

even though there's a lot of neuroscience, you know, there's a lot of neuroscience in my book. There's a lot to really kind of grasp, but I try to make it really easy to digest. Yeah. My problem is being a bit of a comedian, I always want to ad lib because the'll like the brain will be sitting there going,

Hey, you should throw this in there. That sounds funny. Yeah. Do that. Toss that in there. Yeah. Yeah.

And then the problem is that's not in the book. Second edition or next book. There's some people that told me that they've overridden that and they've gotten away with it. And I don't know if I could ever get away with it, but it becomes quite costly if you don't. So, rules, I have to follow them. Anyway, thank you very much for coming on the show, Cheryl, again. Thanks, Moniz, for tuning in. Go to YouTube.com, Fort Sass Chris Voss.

Hit that bell notification button. Order up Cheryl's book. You can get it wherever fine books are sold. And remember, stay out of those in. Go to YouTube.com, Forge says Chris Voss. Hit that bell notification button. Order up Cheryl's book. You can get it wherever fine books are sold. And remember, stay out of those alleyway bookstores. The Impostor Lies Within. Silence your inner critic. Tame your fear. Unleash your badass.

Or you can pick it up wherever fine books are sold. May 11, 2022, if this came out. If you're seeing it 10 years from now, you can probably still order it from Amazon. That's how it works. Also, go to goodreads.com. Fortunate as Chris Foss. Hit the bell and subscribe over there. All of our groups, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and LinkedIn groups.

Thanks for tuning in. Be good to each other. Stay safe. And we'll see you guys next time.