The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – The Inside Track: An Inspirational Guide To Conquering Adversity by Peter Sage

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

The Inside Track: An Inspirational Guide To Conquering Adversity by Peter Sage Free Book from Peter Sage for Listeners: PeterSage.com/Voss Prisoner - Or Secret Agent Of Change? What happens when you put a non-criminal and one of the world's top experts in personal growth, into one of the toughest prisons in the UK? In 2017, that's exactly what happened to Peter Sage when, during a civil matter, he was found in contempt of court. What unfolded next has become a masterclass in how to turn adversity to your advantage. The Inside Track is the collection of 11 private letters that Peter sent to his elite coaching groups throughout his 6-month sentence. Written in a conversational style, each one breaks down the actual tools, techniques and insights he uses and shows you how to face any problem in your life from a place of power, not force. How to stay calm and positive when life hits you with a bat and turn your biggest challenges into your greatest achievements. As you follow this unique and incredible story, you'll discover not only how Peter was able to thrive in a place where angels fear to tread, but also leave a lasting mark that is now helping thousands of lives. About Peter Sage Peter Sage is a well-known international serial entrepreneur, best-selling author and expert in human behaviour. He is a highly sought-after speaker and coach and has spoken on five continents, sharing the stage with the likes of Sir Richard Branson and President Bill Clinton. Due to his depth of experience, teaching style and unique way of looking at the world, Peter's seminars and programmes have frequently been ranked amongst the most impactful in the world. In 2013 he was awarded the distinguished Brand Laureate Award from the Asian Pacific Brands Foundation for extraordinary individuals. Previous winners include Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, Hilary Clinton & Tiger Woods. In 2015 he was named one of the greatest leaders and entrepreneurs by Inspiring Leadership Now alongside Sir Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. Peter is an accomplished athlete having completed several marathons and the formidable Marathon des Sables - widely recognized as the toughest footrace in the world. He also competed at British Championship level indoor rowing, is a qualified open water diver, an experienced skydiver, national champion marksman and a long-standing member of the infamous Dangerous Sports Club. In addition, he has been patron of 2 registered charities and has personally raised over $1m dollars for good causes all over the world.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain now here's your host chris voss hi folks this boss here from the chris voss show.com the chris voss show.com hey we're coming here with another great podcast oh my gosh we are so glad that you're here not you not that guy not the guy right over there we are glad that you have arrived and everyone else that's here in the room of course always we we

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Go to goodreads.com, Fortuness, Chris Voss. Read all the books we're reading and reviewing over there. Go to Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram. There's so many groups over on Facebook, I can't even keep track of them all. So go follow those over there. Today, we have the most amazing author. As always, when don't we have amazing authors and guests on the show? It's just extraordinary. Sometimes I just pinch myself every day.

I'm going to pinch myself right now because today we have Peter Sage on the program. You're going to be amazed and blown away at this gentleman. He wrote the book, The Inside Tract, An Inspirational Guide to Conquering Adversity. And if you don't know him already, most people do. He is a well-known international serial entrepreneur, best-selling author, and expert in human behavior. He is a highly sought-after speaker and coach and has spoken on five continents. He shares the stage with the likes of Sir Richard Branson and President Clinton. Just an incredible reputation and resume he has. Welcome to the show, Peter.

How are you? Chris, what an absolute pleasure to be here. I am doing fantastic, bordering magnificent, and trying to catch up with your energy, my friend. Dude, I'm hearing your energy from when you showed up this morning on the show. I was like, waiter, I'll have the coffee he's having. All good. Glad to be here. So give us your plug, sir.

Tell people where they can find you on the interwebs and find out more about you. Wow, pretty standard, really. Peter Sage, if you key that into pretty much any box anywhere i tend to pop up but yeah petersage.com is the is the website and i'm on instagram petersage007 youtube petersage007 and yeah people say oh why you're a james bond fan i'm like when i first did it there was six other people before me but that's that's my excuse. There you go. So are you a James Bond fan?

We have to clarify that. Or was there six before him? Or is it just fun? Yes, splendid. Splendid. Can you do the Bond? James Bond. So you're more of a Connery Bond?

Is that where you're at? No, it's just that I can't do any of the other actors. Yeah, Connery does have that very succinct sort of thing. And I never was a big Roger Moore fan, but I do like the new Bond. At least I think he's, oh yeah, they still got to put the movie out. But he's been my favorite Bond, which is sad. Sorry, Sean Connery, we just lost this whole Sean Connery audience. We're going to talk about who you are and what you do.

But tell us what motivated you to write this book. And then we'll get into some of the aspects of it here in a bit. Wow. Okay. I'll start off the back. It was never, ever meant to be a book. This was, as you say, the headline is The Ultimate Guide to Conquering Adversity. And there's a lot of people going through adversity right now. And I didn't write the book for them, although the book is perfectly written for anyone going through adversity, especially in today's climates. And I know that's a lot of people right now, whether that's emotional, psychological, financial. And it really was a private diary and tradecraft account. Now, I've spent 30 plus years in two fields. One is entrepreneurship. I dropped out of school at 16. I couldn't spell MBA. And I essentially started my first business at 17. I couldn't spell MBA. And I essentially started my first business

at 17. I've had 26, 27 international companies since then. Some have failed majestically. Some have made millions. Some have lost millions. Some should have stayed ideas when I was drunk. Everything in between. And pretty much paralleling that was my passion for personal growth, personal development. And I remember I left school and I'm not academically gifted. I'm not a smart guy when it comes to book smarts. I know that school only teaches you two things, certainly traditionally when I was at school, and that's how to pass tests and work for somebody else. And none of those were high on my agenda. And yeah, I got out in the big wide world, but I suddenly suddenly i came across personal growth

when i was 17 i'm like whoa whoa hang on a minute you you mean there's an industry that teaches success wow where was that at school yeah that's what i wanted to learn in algebra you should yell at your career counselor teacher yeah i did they said i'd never do well in business i think oh you're never right fuck those those people. No comment. But no, it's been a wild ride. But that personal growth in the early years, it was really about me trying to achieve more. You know, when I make my first million, then I'll have made it. And yeah, I made my first million in my early 20s.

And guess what? Yeah, I still felt as if I was empty because, oh, I know why. It's because I need two million in case I lose the first. And you're off on this chase of this perpetual chasing the more. And it was really about trying to prove to the world that I was good enough by trying to avoid the insecurities as a young man that I wasn't. And that was really the impetus. Personal growth in the early days gave me the ability to go achieve stuff, really so I could find out that achieving stuff and getting to the top of success mountain really was a recipe for wanting to jump off because what I thought was there wasn't. And that was a massive distinction for me in my mid-20s when I realized

there is a huge difference, Chris, between a life-chasing success and a life-chasing fulfillment. And the two are very different. Anyway, I started to pivot and it really honed me into one aspect of personal growth that very few people tend to focus on because they're too busy chasing that white rabbit around the track, wondering why they can't catch it. And that was human behavior. I'm like, why do so many people with so much money feel miserable, commit suicide or on antidepressants, can't get their relationships together, when we thought that was the way that we were going to get everything we wanted. So I got fascinated with people. What makes us get up in the morning, excited or not excited? What makes us relate to each other? Because no one teaches

that in freaking high school or college. And so that became my game. And I'm a great believer that we are in a growth-centric environment. Life is a growth-centric experience, not a comfort-centric experience. And when you wake up to that reality, life tends to shift. And I spent many years teaching around the world. I worked with Tony Robbins for 15 years as one of his experienced trainers. Oh, wow. Psychotherapeutic intervention.

I've been running seminars and events for many years and I've been very blessed to help millions of people around the world. And I'm a great believer that the strongest trees don't grow in the best soil. They grow in the strongest winds. And if we're to become the best versions of who we are, we should really expect life to test us because we only grow through challenge. We know that looking at the physical body. So I had what I call a graduation event four years ago.

I've been living in Dubai. I had a great life. I was on years ago. I've been living in Dubai. I had a great life. I was on the Palm. I drove my McLaren. I was doing multi-millions of dollars in business. And one of the companies that I did some business with, which was a multi-billion dollar household name, I bought a load of kit from them.

I sold it at a small margin. Seven years later, I'm living at my home in England. They knock on the door with a $100 million law firm suing me for $17 million. I'm like, what? We didn't say you could resell the goods you bought. I'm like, you didn't give me a contract saying I couldn't. And they were upset because some of the people that bought the goods were licensed distributors from them and shouldn't have bought the goods. That wasn't my deal.

They were buying it cheaper from me than them. And they were trying to bully me into giving them some 100 grand in an early settlement so that they don't get all. I'm like, this is BS. Shakedown lawsuit. Anybody listening here that's had experience in litigation, especially entrepreneurs, will understand that when it comes to court, it's got nothing to do with who's right or wrong. Nobody walks in with the agenda to lose. It's got everything to do with having a chess piece on the board and use litigation as a tool. I thought they were bluffing, and because I wasn't playing ball,

they issued a contempt of court application saying to the judge that I'd breached a freezing order, and I looked at it, and I haven't done anything wrong, and I looked, and it was clever. It was very, very well put together how they distorted context. But I thought it would be left out of court in four minutes. I thought it was just more pressure to get me to settle. So at that time, this is four years ago,

I'm running a decent business in coaching now and training, teaching a lot of the lessons I've learned. I've got 50 staff, we're doing six figures a month in revenue. And I'm like, hey gang, I've just got to pop into court next week and get rid of this bs i never came back oh wow they sold it to the judge he gave me six months in prison as a civil prisoner never been arrested never been convicted still don't have a criminal record now now they can do that in England? Because here in America, you can only do that in a criminal court.

Nope. Oh, for contempt? Maybe contempt. Yeah, the largest contempt court sentence in American history was given to my friend Kevin Trudeau. Oh, wow. He got 10 years for contempt as a civil prisoner. Got released a few weeks ago. Anyway, I'm like, whoa.

I just sold. I spent 50 grand that month on facebook ads to sell 50 grams of the tickets to my three-day business school and now 50 grams of the people want their money back we got it was an absolute night crap show and i'm i'm not and because of where i was the nearest prison to me was statistically the most violent prison in the uk wow and i was there for six months. Now, walking down the steps, and I'm giving the backstory here to not just the book, but also what I want to share with some people here, because again, we're all having a tough time. Everyone's got a story.

And we need to understand that if you're using your story to try to get some level of sympathy, validation, or even significance, people get secondary gain from their problems, which is why they choose not to outgrow them. I don't have a significant bank balance. I don't have a significant house. I don't have a significant education, but I have a significant problem. They use secondary gain a lot in their story, but I'm here to tell everybody, if you haven't figured it out yet,

80% of people don't care about your problems, and the other 20% are glad you have them. So you can't play that game very true and when the judge sent me down i was about to get married i just it was like it was unbelievable totally out of left field and i'm like okay i've got a choice for a start resisting or complaining at anything that has already happened is futile false game so many people waste energy resisting two things one what's already happened is futile. Fall's game. So many people waste energy resisting two things. One, what's already happened, stupid,

unless you've got a time machine I don't know about. And second is what they can't control. If you're resisting or putting energy into resenting, telling stories about having cancerous self-talk, if only, and what if, and all of that stuff, go bang your head against the wall for 20 minutes, come back, and what if, and all of that stuff. Go bang your head against the wall for 20 minutes. Come back.

Tell me if it's made any difference. But I knew I had a choice at that moment, and I refused to see myself as a prisoner. I saw myself as a secret agent of change. There goes the 007. Marvelous. But if I am lucky enough to be asked by whatever label you want to call it, the universe, infinite intelligence, God, I don't care what your label is. And to be able to send into a place where most of the people that could probably benefit from the kind of work that people and myself or stuff you're

putting out, Chris, do, but they never get to see it because they're in someone like jail. Yeah. Wow. What. Wow. What an opportunity. And I went in there committed to making a difference. And anyway, long story short, I ended up getting a lot of the prisoners off drugs. I was stopping suicides.

I rediscovered the internet system to reduce violence between the wings. I won a national award while I was in there on stuff that's now being used in prisons all over the world, including 30,000 last week prisoners in the US got one of the mental adjustment stories that I put together for prisoners to help them. And yeah, it turned out to be an incredible adventure. But when I went in, there was that much uncertainty. And this is, if you've seen Prison Break, we're pretty on the same page.

Blood on the floor was a daily occurrence. Attempted murders were weekly. Three deaths in one week was the worst week I was there. Wow. And this is a proper, proper guy. it's not a holiday camp yeah and i i wrote to my senior students at the time i was getting fifty thousand dollars a year from my high level students to teach them the kind of stuff that you know you see tony robbins do on stage with people on interventions and how to navigate their life and that kind of stuff. I was getting top of my game. Now I've got an opportunity, I call it to go and demonstrate that a theory doesn't cover the price of admission to the higher levels of greatness. I like that. That

should be in a shirt. And it was the, every two weeks I wrote to them and it was part journal. It was part, yeah, how to manual years of tradecraft, decades of the best that I had to them and it was part journal. It was part, yeah, how-to manual, years of tradecraft, decades of the best that I had to do to survive in an environment that I'd never expected to be in. And yeah, in part, you couldn't make it up, but it was real. And when I came out after six months, they said they'd learned more from those 11 letters than following me around the world for the last two years on stage.

And I had to make it available to the public. And I'm like, guys, you're paying me a lot of money to learn this stuff. But they said it could help a lot of people. I said, that's my hot button. We published it. It went bestseller in two hours, Amazon number one in four hours. We sold to 42 countries on the first day. We outsold three suppliers on the first day. And I'm very humbled to say, if you check any Amazon review, Goodreads, Kindle, Audible, whatever,

it's pretty much changed the life of every single person that's read the book. And I'm very humbled by that. I really am. But I go into detail. If you've got a problem in your life right now, I give you the tools, not the positive psychology, nobody cares. It's easy to kick back with a margarita on deck when the sun's out and the waters are still. But when the storm clouds come and the waves start getting up and all of a sudden, things start hitting the fan, who shows up? How do you show up?

What tools do you have to be able to rely on? And I lost everything. I came out of prison just over three years ago. Third of a million in debt, no business. They hit me with all the legal costs. No credit rating. I had a multi-decade 999 credit rating, first black Amex holder in the UK. Gone, never coming back. It all went to hell. And I came out thinking, wow, now I've never dug myself out of a hole that deep. This has

got to be exciting. That's a good perspective to keep on that. And I'm very happy to say that 2020 was the best year I've ever had, not just in the coaching business, but in any business in 27 years. 2021 has already beat 2020. That's awesome, dude. And that's not because I'm clever or special. I'm using certain tools that I teach people in that book on how to not get taken out because there's a lot of people getting crushed right now, but there's also a lot of people crushing it.

And the difference is not opportunity. It's not the person you're married to. It's not your background. It's none of that. It's how do you use your mindset to take on challenges rather than run from them? I really love this because some of my greatest moments that I've come out of and rebounded from are some of my darkest. And then also I usually wrote during those moments, usually on social media, my dog's dying and how I felt about it and other different things. And I always thought that at the time I was writing, I was going through a selfish exercise where I was just like, here's the bullshit I'm going through. And what was interesting is me catharticizing it online and sharing it with people.

My story, my pain, my struggle, how I was trying to work through it or how eventually I worked through it process. I would have people write to me, and they still do whenever I share something like this. And they go, holy crap, I didn't realize that I had some unresolved issues. I didn't realize that I need to help like this. And watching you go through the struggle and the challenge motivates me and helps me resolve some of the different issues I have and different motivations I need. So I think this is brilliant how you turned basically lemons into lemonade. I appreciate that, Chris. And yeah, what strikes me from what you share there is that you give people permission to relate. And that comes from a place of being authentic. We look at social

media these days and we think it's the life people have And we forget that it's not. It's the life everybody wants other people to think they have. And yeah, there's no level of authenticity there. There's no level of vulnerability. And when you can come through that and say, hey, listen, yeah, I screwed up. Yeah. Hey, listen, I'm just as messed up in that area as anybody else. And hey, listen, I just made a massive mistake and here's what it cost me. And having the courage to say sorry is a huge relief from the burden people carry of thinking they have to appear a particular way.

And I call it swimming in goop. Swimming in goop. Goop, yeah. Goop is a nasty, sticky, smelly substance you never want to be. And it stands for the good opinion of other people. And so many people spend their life in goop, and you cannot be authentic. And the reason they do that, and it's an interesting awareness,

and I'll share this with people, if fear of rejection, fear of being judged, trying to fit in avoidance of conflict, craving connection, approval, validation, any of that stuff resonates, I'll share a little analogy with you that usually helps a lot of people try to break out. And that is, I see as all as the star, go back to James Bond, I see as all as the star of the movie of our life. I'm pretty sure that everybody is the star of their own movie because they're the only one that's in every single scene. I need to get paid better. That's all I know. I need to talk to my agent about wanting to deal. Yeah. But you are the star of the Chris Foss movie. That's true I know. I need to talk to my agent about the deal. Yeah, but you are the star of the Chris Foss movie.

That's true. I better be the star of the Chris Foss show. On top. At no extra charge. Yep, there you go. When it comes to that as a presupposition, that leads to two things. One is that everybody else in your movie can

only play one or two roles. Either at best, they are a supporting cast, spouse, business partner, sibling, or whatever it may be. The vast 99.9% of people in your movie are nothing more than film extras in your movie. Wow. I don't know, though. If you have a spouse, you may want to make her a lead actress or lead actor,

whatever your preference is, because if you make her a supporting cast, you might get some. She's a supporting cast in your movie because she's not in everything. Supporting. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. We'll work the lawyers for you.

And what's the definition of a film extra for people wanting it easy? The definition of a film extra is somebody you're not thinking about when they're not in your scene. Now, if I have film extras do i have to provide the film extra table of the food there because that's expensive yeah we should be able to get good rates but here's the problem just because we walk around seeing ourselves as the star of our movie we automatically presuppose that everybody else sees us as the star of our movie. And of course, they don't. They don't.

They're like the star of their movie. They're the star of a different movie. They're in our movie. Which means by definition, at best, we may be a supporting cast, but the vast majority of people we will meet in our lifetime, we are nothing more than a film extra in their movie. They're not thinking about us when we are not in their scene. Damn it. And what that leads to is the awareness. And again, if you're driven by approval,

validation, all of that kind of stuff, if you're worried about the good opinion of others, which prevents you from being authentic, you need to understand the fundamental truth. Most people don't care enough about you to bother to give an opinion. No way. Why? Because they're too busy being worried about what they think you're thinking of them wow this is a lot of movies yeah i need right better writers clearly that's for sure you know higher markets of course there it is it's like we're all walking around in our own bubble of self-importance thinking that everybody else is seeing us as the bubble in our bubble but they're not they're walking around their own bubble of self-importance wondering

what we're thinking of that and when you get to that realization, you realize it's nothing but a ghost. Oh, I can't go down to the supermarket without putting on my makeup. Oh no, I can't go out to collect from the mailbox in my dressing gown and slippers. What will people think? If you've got any of that kind of self-talk,

you're stuck in group. And that you will never be able to rise above the opinion of yourself. Number one rule in personal growth. People can never rise above the opinion of yourself. Number one rule in personal growth. People can never rise above the opinion of themselves. And if your opinion is tapered by what you think other people are thinking and judging you by, which in reality,

they're not, because they're too busy being worried about what your judgments of them are. You will never be able to step into your greatness and you will never be able to capitalize on the opportunities in front of you by bringing your best self to the table to do it. Maybe a good analogy used in the movie thing is you shouldn't listen to the movie critics because they're full of it. And you shouldn't take bad bit parts. You should always take a lead in your movie.

I don't know. Just a good analogy. Fortunately, there's been a lot of people that got sucked in to being unpaid film extras in the big budget disaster movie that's going on right now. The Corona movie. Yeah, that's a big budget one. And that's a really poor career move. Yeah, the people that are crushing it right now, in spite of what other people would call global circumstances,

people whose industries got destroyed, not just jobs, people who lost people they kept, those people that are crushing it right now, understand that they are the star of their own movie. A new future is always available to them. And they're living their life at cause, not effect. As soon as you're at effect, you're a film extra in somebody else's movie. Good luck. You're never going to get an Oscar playing an extra in somebody else's movie. So what tools do you need to fall back on to be able to do that? Well, there's a whole series.

I go through the book. Yeah. Every single chapter, I do a syllabus section to teach my students what are the tools I'm using? Yeah. What are the global beliefs that I'm having to install or put deeper or hang on to in order to stop me going into depression or have suicidal thoughts or all the other stuff that in that low energy, poor consciousness level in prison, it's a tough environment. I'd never been in anything like that before. And I know that's part of my previous privilege, but I'm so glad I was able to go and experience that and help people in it get out. Yeah. That's a hell of an experience. It's a

hell of a bottom to recover from. The thing that's interesting about your journey is there's a lot of people out there that they've got this blue sky effect and they're like, hey, just think positive and everything will be good. And you're like, is anything bad ever happened to you? Like really in life? I got a hang down once and you're like, through it, man. You went through a lot of bottom that no one else goes through and it proved you could rise up, man. It really tested everything you've been teaching, tested your knowledge, tested your, what do they call it? Validity of proof or validation of proof. And now you can look away from it, inspire people, motivate them, say to people, hey, you don't have to go through the bottom that I went through and you can still take control of your life and be successful. I appreciate that. And again, one of the things I want to share with the listeners here is that this isn't about me. Please don't make it about me. If you start disrelating that way, you'll invalidate your own power. One has to understand that the river of life always bends.

We never know what's around the corner. We live in this linear construct. And there are no straight lines in nature. If you see a straight line, it's man-made. So the river of life is going to bend. And we like canals. We like to plan a straight line to our goal. That never works.

If you learn to trust the wisdom of the current, because there's so many times where, as you said, you've gone through a dark night of the soul. And six months later, you were like, wow, thank God that happened. Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing this now. Yeah, yeah. And if we know that happens all of the time, why wait six months to celebrate? And if you start to, instead of resisting the current. So what do most people do? They're going down the river.

They're heading in the direction of the goal. They're all happy. They're heading north. And all of a sudden, the river bends east. And what do they do? My goal was north. So they take a shovel out of the boat and start digging a channel through the bank. A lot of wasted energy. If you learn to sail with the bends, it will always bring you back around faster.

And unfortunately, most people spend their energy resisting the current rather than spending their energy positioning themselves better in the current. And if you do that, it's powerful. That's a really good lesson. That's a really good lesson. And so what other aspects of the book are there in there that people can really learn from or if they reach out to you on social media or your website and get to know you better i think well yeah there's so much in a chapter one i give you what my my core beliefs are going in so that yeah and how i'm helping installing those yeah second chapter i talk about the anthem of stress which is drama yeah and how to avoid it and certainly what i call opd other people's drama. We're all tired

of that one. The third chapter, I'm very raw. I talk about the times I cried. I talk about the times that I doubted myself, the time I didn't know if I'd ever teach again or what have you. And all of the interventions that I'm doing. For example, there's one where there's three guys on the wing. And there's a Muslim, a Christian, and an atheist about having an argument. No one's going to win that game. And you can feel the tension rising. Now, everyone's on. Everyone's got a shank. Everyone's got, you know,

the guy that was killed just before I was there was stabbed with a toothbrush, plastic toothbrush that was really sharp. Did he die from that? That's a hell of a way to die. Yeah, yeah. Death by toothbrush. Next time my girlfriend tells me

to put my toothpaste brush away i will yeah yeah check under the pillow for the ice pick i think that's but no i'm serious and i'm being a little you know sort of facetious to try to alleviate the seriousness of it in a way because you had to but i've got to get myself invited into that conversation i've got to maintain the illusion of significance for those that are on the power trip i've got to recontextualize the foundation so that they all become friends and then walk away as if I wasn't. How do you do that? And chapter seven, I've got 10 minutes to stop somebody killing themselves. They're about to commit suicide. Now you can change anybody's state in the moment, but what happens when they go back to their cell and think the same depressing

thoughts that caused them in the first place? And I'm no longer there to help. How do you permanently shift somebody from doing that? I break it all down. And again, this was my advanced students. So I'm going through a lot of trade craft, a lot of understanding, some deep insights, the patterns that we run as human beings. For example, as a business coach, I would get approached by people say, oh, I want to learn time management.

Now you go to most business coaches and ask that, they'll go teach you some time management technique. Absolute waste of time. Why? A, you can't manage time. You can't manage time as much as you can manage a current of a river while standing in it. You can only manage your relationship to time.

Don't try to manage time. As soon as you do that, you're trying to commoditize it. Like you can go and buy four hours from Walmart. No, you're trying to commoditize it. You can go and buy four hours from Walmart. No. You manage your focus. That's a way better priority to have than managing your time. But what's the pattern that's driving it? And if I'm working with a CEO, you usually find it's one of several things. Here's a common one, that they are micromanagers. Now, what is a micromanager? It's a fear of letting go of the need for control. Why? So they have to do everything. One of the underlying patterns behind that most of the time

is that people tie their self-worth to their net worth. If your self-worth and net worth are combined, you are always going to feel fear when your monetary situation is threatened because it's tied to your self-worth. And therefore, if the staff aren't doing a good job in your mind, and no one's going to do as better job as you, otherwise they have their own business. Then you're trying to control everything. So it's about dealing with that. Or another common one, fear of rejection. You then say no to people because it may trigger a rejection response. So therefore you say yes to too many things and now you've got too much on your calendar and now you think you need time management. No, you solve the issue of inability to handle rejection.

And all of a sudden your calendar gets freed up. You see my point. It's the patterns that run us unconsciously that most people are completely unaware of. And that's what I delineate in the book in detail on many different aspects. I really like that, especially that aspect of people tying their net worth to their value of their person, because a lot of people do that. How much I'm getting paid is how much I'm worth. Yeah. If I lose my job, I'm not worth anything. If I lose my family, if I lose my wife, my husband, my kids, I suddenly, I have no value. A lot of people tie themselves

that way. And then they're really lost. For me, one of my challenges was when going from poor to having money was I valued myself based upon those segments. And unfortunately, I valued myself based on how much money I had, not how much intrinsic value or stuff I'd worked on for myself internally. And so the challenge I had was I, while I was making money, I was still just this broken piece of mess on the inside. And I was like, wait, I thought getting rich was supposed to fix all this crap. And a lot of people think that way too. They just think I'm screwed up now. If I get money, I'll be fine. Like everyone's, everyone's better. It's

proven that a lot of people that like women, when they chase which guys are rock stars or hollywood people we assume that because they have this elevated place in society or elevated money that just all their problems are fixed once they get there money won't the reason people without money think that money will fix your problems is because most of their immediate problems are centered on lack of money yeah and so once those media problems are taken care of and they have money, they'll realize that life is a growth centric experience. You're going to get problems and challenges by design. You just have better quality ones and you can arrive at them with a better

set of clothes. Yeah. In fact, the one of the challenges with getting money is you insulate yourself. So you can buy insulation from your problems and your self issues. And then you can surround yourself. All these people are like, you're fine. As long as you're buying're buying you're screwed up but we accept you

and we love you and don't even worry about fixing all that shit that's wrong with you and yeah it's it actually makes it worse because you're like money money is a magnifier it's all it is it'll it'll open up your decision space wider if you're generous money will make you more generous if you're tight money will make you more tight yeah If you're fearful, you'll have more stuff to be fearful about in case you lose your money. It's just a magnifier. And yeah, it's not a magic pill. In society, it is a reflection of the value you can add when it comes to commerce, because that's how money is nothing more than an arbitrary medium of exchange that is used to measure perceived value. And most people without money resent people with money because they don't realize that, well,

the only time you got money was if you gave something of value for it first, whether it was 40 hours a week, a product or a service. So if you haven't got enough money, start asking yourself, not how can I get money? You're chasing the effect. That's like sitting in front of the fire saying, give me some wood. I'll go find you some heat. Sorry, give me some heat. I'll go fetch you some wood. Or walking into the gym, right? Yeah, nobody walks into the gym and says, hey, give me the strength. I'll go lift the weights. It's the byproduct or a consequence.

You go add value, you look over your shoulder and think, wow, where did that money come from? Because it's a byproduct or a consequence. But if you're chasing money, you'll chase your tail. So ask yourself, how can I add value? Not how can I get money? And you'll start to shift your relationship to it in a way that opens up more opportunity to attract it. There you go. That's freaking awesome, man. That's just beautiful. So as we round out our interview with you, anything more you want to touch on or expand on from the book to encourage people to go get it or to reach out? I actually, now that's coming on, Chris, I really wanted to do something special

for your readers. I don't take people's time lightly. One of my old mentors used to say, talk is cheap and time is valuable. So if they've given us or they've been gracious enough to give us their time for the last half hour, 40 minutes, whatever it is, then I really want to be able to give something back to them. Because again, I've made way more in business than I'll ever do selling books. That's not what I'm doing this for. I'm doing it to try to help, especially in today's society. So I want to get this in the hands of as many people as possible. And so I'm giving it away. I'm going to give a copy away to every single listener, viewer, or member of your tribe. And if you go to Barnes and Noble now,

you can spend, or Amazon, you can spend $24.95. And I've got a special link where if you can go, and if you don't mind, I'll give it out. It's petersage.com forward slash VOS, V-O-S. And if you go to petersage.com forward slash VOS, you'll be able to get the book. Just give me a little bit to cover the shipping and the handling. It's like under 10 bucks and I'll send you a physical copy to your home within two to three days. If you live in North America, it's normally two days and you can start on this and you can go again, go look at the reviews. Don't buy it off Amazon. It's too dear. Yeah. Or Barnes and Noble, but look at the reviews. If you want to see how this has impacted people's lives. And all I'm going to ask in return is a, you read it. It doesn't become data for later.

Like most people do now, but more importantly, if you, if it helps you give it to somebody, read it, use it, pass it to somebody else who thinks having a tough time and that there's so many things in here. Yeah. Again, if I can show you how to stop a suicide in seven minutes, I can promise you I know how to deal with your, your, your 12 year old daughter that comes home upset from school because something happened. You know,

there's the best of what I've learned in 30 years tested in real world environment in here that I want to give to people without anything in return so that we can help get this planet back on track. Because what will get us through this global situation right now is not more platitudes, not more positive thinking, but a tool set that allows you to become the best version of yourself so we can become leaders and examples to others and the invitation to follow. There you go. Thank you very much, Peter. That is incredibly darn generous, man. And sharing your message and sharing the book and stuff, my readers are going to eat this up. In fact, we're going to take this part, cut it and move it to the front too. So there'll be a bookends on it. Everybody that first tunes in will get that

before their next text message or Facebook post comes in. So definitely give us your plug so people would find you on the interwebs. Yeah. PeterSage.com is always a great place to go. You've got my website there. I've got a free five-day challenge that I run as well for people that want to learn how to upgrade their peer group. I think you become who you hang with. And that's something we've forgotten a lot because there's a lot of negativity out there right now. And a lot of people feel that if they're positive, people don't get them. And I'm sure you heard Dan when he was on the show way back, one of my mentors for 20, 25 years now, Dan Pena. And yeah, show me your friends. I'll show you your future. That's very true.

To quote Dan. And so I give a free little chance, like a few minute videos a day for five days, showing people how do you surround yourself with people who you can either aspire to be or going in the same direction. Now you hang around with 10 recreational drug users, I've got news for you, you're going to become the 11th, right? You hang around with 10 motivated, high conscious people that are looking at life through the lens of how we can, not why we can't, you're going to become the 11th, or they're going to kick you out of the game. That's a big skill set. And I put that on my website to help people with as well. I just want to try and give as many tools as I can for people that are looking to seek them. I can't help everyone and nor should I, but if you've got the want to, I can bring the how to, and that's

usually a pretty good partnership. There you go. There you go. Thank you very much for sharing this, all this stuff with us. We appreciate you taking some time, Peter, and it's been really insightful and wonderful to spend time with you. I'm glad I got to know you better. Thank you very much for sharing this all this stuff with us we appreciate you taking some time peter and it's been really insightful and wonderful to spend time with i'm glad i got to know you better thank you very much sir pleasure's mine and chris keep putting out what you're doing you're changing a lot of lives yourself my friend and it's been a real pleasure to connect i'm sure we'll bring it back sometime there you go with the help of your people like yourself he is the author of the book the inside track and inspirational guide to conquering adversity. And guess what? He just made us a great offer on the Chris Voss Show. You can go to petersage.com forward slash Voss.

And I think I got that right, didn't I, Peter? Right. There you go. And you can get a free copy of the book. Just pay for the shipping and all that good stuff. Take and see all the stuff we have on youtube.com forward slash Chris Voss. Hit that bell notification button. Go to goodreads.com forward slash Chris Voss. All the Instagram groups, the YouTube.com, Forge has Chris Voss. Hit that bell notification button. Go to Goodreads.com, Forge has Chris Voss.

All the Instagram groups, the Facebook groups, LinkedIn groups, Twitter, all that sort of good stuff. Follow us over there. I think we're on TikTok too. So thanks a lot for tuning in. Be good to each other. Stay safe. And we'll see you guys next time.