The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – The Power of Pivoting: How to Embrace Change and Create a Life You Love by Monica Ortega

Episode Date: April 8, 2021

The Power of Pivoting: How to Embrace Change and Create a Life You Love by Monica Ortega Finding yourself mid-pivot? I mean who isn't these days? The Power of Pivoting is here to teach you how to not only deal with unexpected life changes, but embrace the crap out of them! Relationships? Career? Pivoting during a global crisis, yep covered! It's time to use your pivots to create a life you actually love! In this book you'll learn how to: ★ Discover the source of your fear and learn how to let it go. ★ Build stepping stones towards reaching your goals. ★ Create your personal mental health tool kit. ★ Shift your mindset to see setbacks as setups. From her journey of wanting to be a country singer, to creating the travel show Monica Goes, to the unexpected divorce that rocked her world, Monica uses humor and wisdom to show you how you can lean into your own pivots, even when they suck. You’ll learn how to create opportunities from any situation, even the unexpected ones, and to trust that the universe has amazing plans for you. Harness the power of pivoting, go forth, and create the life of your dreams! YOU'RE A FREAKING ROCKSTAR!

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain now here's your host chris voss hi folks chris voss here from the chris voss show.com the chris voss show.com hey we're coming here with another great podcast we certainly appreciate you tuning in oh my gosh you're here here with another great podcast. We certainly appreciate you tuning in. Oh, my gosh, you're here. It's another great podcast.

Or we'll see. Anyway, guys, thanks for tuning in. Thanks for tuning in. I hope you guys are having a wonderful day. I've got my vaccines, and I've been feeling this new level of freedom and just everything. Just been so excited. It's finally warm weather, so I've been

getting out in the sun. If you don't see the Chris Vaughn Show post, go to, of course, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. What is there? LinkedIn as well. And of course, you can subscribe to the podcast or see the podcast going on all these different channels. So check that out as well, all the groups on Facebook. Also, you want to see the video version of this. I got to tell you, I'm a really good looking guy. And if you really want to see a good looking guy that you just be like, oh my God, Chris Voss is so incredibly good looking. No matter what sex you are, you will look at me on YouTube and you will go, mother of God, that guy is beautiful. So this gives you all the more reason and why I'm actually plugging this to go to youtube.com for says Christmas and hit the bell notification button. So you can see all the

stupid good looking video guys I have, and you'll be completely disappointed. I guaranteed, but still I have a most wonderful author on this show and she will make up for my lack of beauty. And today's episode is brought to you by our sponsor, Restream. Restream Studio is a web-based live broadcasting solution. You can live stream a Zoom meeting or webinar to up to 30 plus social channels and platforms at the same time. We're actually using it to do our live broadcasting. You can get $10 credit towards their services using our affiliate link at restream.io forward slash join forward slash chris voss monica ortega she's the great author of this new book sometimes i just crack

myself up with my improvs she's an author of a new book the power of pivoting how to embrace change and create that life that's not what it says it says create a life you love how to embrace change and create that life that's not what it says it says create a life you love how to embrace change and create a life you love the power of pivoting by monica ortega she is a professional on-camera host author speaker and actress she is the creator and the host of the online travel show monica goes co-host of the podcast Stumbling Forward and author of the brand new book, The Power of Pivoting, How to Embrace Change and Create a Life You Love. Her goal is to inspire others to face their fears, break out of their comfort zones and learn to lean into the pivot. Welcome to the show, Monica. How are thou?

You're so good. Thank you so much. That's like the best intro. You're so revved up. I try. It's the Death Wish coffee, right? I love it. It's the Death Wish coffee.

I can't really do the whole model swipe with my left hand. But welcome to the show. Give us your plugs so people can find you on the interwebs thank you so much yeah so my travel show is on youtube it's called monica goes it's at monica goes show and that's also me across social media it's at monica goes show and then the new book like you said the power pivoting it's available on amazon and also my website monicagoes.com all the goodness so yeah oh the. That should be like a shirt you should sell. So this just came out March 29th. So it's a brand new, it's hot off the presses.

It's got that hot off the presses. You can get high. I love that smell. In fact, I think that's probably why I have some of the brain damage I have. When I was a kid, I would smell the ink, but enough of a smelling permanent ink. Tell us what motivated you want to write this book. I never planned on writing a book. It was definitely not on my bucket list to be an author, but I always thought I'm in the middle of the story, so I can't write a book. But then I realized my middle might be somebody else's beginning. So 2020 hit travel show, all my contracts go out the window. I'm stuck at home. And I thought, you know what? Everyone's dealing with change and I may not be an expert at a lot, but I'm pretty good at change. I've done it a lot. I've moved a lot.

I've had a lot of careers, relationships, things like that. So I sat down to write this book. And I think it was like three weeks later, I had a book. I was like, oh, I guess I had some stuff to say. Three weeks. That's awesome. I need to get on that. I need to do some book stuff. I've been mostly just eating. I'm having to work it all off now. So you to get on that. I need to do some book stuff. I've been mostly just eating. I'm having to work it all off now. So you've written this book and I guess for the most part, you're teaching people how to pivot. Is it coronavirus specific, how to get out of it, or just pivot in life in general? Just life in general. So I feel like pivot became the word of 2020, but it's really changes. And we always go through these in our life, but 2020 brought it to the surface. Everyone suddenly found themselves in these unexpected changes. So it goes through my personal story of my own divorce and career changes, but I use it

as a guide to help other people navigate changes in relationships, changes in career. There's a lot of mental health and yes, there is a chapter on global crisis and how to get through that as well. But there's exercises at the end of each chapter. And it's really a book for everybody. I always say that it's about me, but it's for everyone. Did you get divorced during the pandemic? No, I actually got divorced. It was four years ago.

Officially four years ago. It was April 1st, which is my favorite that it's April Fool's Day. That was going to be the release date actually. And then I released it two days early on my birthday. But it fell into why I created the travel show. He was pretty emotionally abusive. And so when I found out he'd been cheating, I was left with this blank slate and it was the first time in my life. I went, okay, if all the plans blew up, what do I want? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to go? What do I want to do with my life? And I started asking all these big questions and it really changed my

life from then on out. And that's sort of the lessons that I want to teach other people is that we can start to see setbacks as setups. And you can see those things as opportunities if you can shift your mindset. So yeah, it really pivoted toward the positive as my friend Lori says. There you go. It's interesting how we take these moments in life that are challenges to us. And we certainly had a lot in the last year and a half. And we reevaluate what's important in our lives and what brings us value and what's important. I certainly did when this coronavirus started. I said, what can I live without? And of course, those are the human beings in my life, my family, et cetera, et cetera, because cars can't get coronavirus, mansions can't get coronavirus

and other all the crap I own. And it's not going to matter. Everything I own, if I'm not here, people I love aren't here. So it's interesting how these moments cause us to reevaluate and, like you say, pivot to something new and do that. What's a good way? What's some advice that you have to people dealing with coming out of this pandemic? Because we're almost, we're starting to see maybe the end of it here, maybe fingers crossed. Yeah. I think there's a lot of different things that happen. Some people got really motivated.

They did all this stuff and it's really hard to like not compare it to that. So the first thing I tell everyone is be kind, whatever happened in this past year, let it go. You can't change it. If you put on 30 pounds, if you did nothing but sit on the couch and drink too much, whatever it is, let it go. So number one, don't compare yourself to where everybody else is coming out of this. But two, see it as an opportunity that we have this fresh blank slate, right? Maybe you lost your job. Okay. That's really traumatic, but what can you do now? What do you actually want to do? So going through some of these practices to figure out what it is that's going to make you happy. Some people realize they want to move or they want to travel and all these different things. So making note of that and then actually making those things happen after this.

What's funny to me is all my buddies' wives are telling me, they're like, Chris, after this pandemic's over, there's going to be a lot of divorces. That's what I said. I was like, because I was single when this started, when the pandemic started. I actually met my boyfriend in the pandemic, which is weird. But I was like, man, I can't wait. There's going to be a whole new batch of singles at the end of this. I literally, at the beginning of the coronavirus thing, I'm like, I should really go to school to be a divorce attorney really quick. Is there any way to fast track that for a year?

Because there's a lot of paint coming out the other end. It's going to be, honestly, it's going to be a lot of people that are reevaluating their life. They probably realized that maybe they weren't with somebody that they wanted to do, or maybe they reevaluated their valuations. Some of the things you talk about in your book, let's touch on some of them. You talk about discovering the source of your fear and how to let it go. Do you want to expand a little bit about that? Yeah. So I grew up afraid of everything and I really did a lot of stuff. I'm like afraid of heights. I'm afraid of birds, like all these like weird things. Did you see like the Hitchcock movie or something? Is that what happened? I did, but just in general, like when they fly around my

head, it's terrible. Anyway. I'm kidding. I don't mean to laugh at your psychosis. Fine. I do. I started working at a ranch and I had, I got forced into doing stunt shows and I was like afraid of all this stuff. And then I started my travel show and I realized I'm afraid of everything. And I thought, okay, there's gotta be something to this. So I started looking at some of the anxiety that we have now and the fear that we create as kids, my personal belief is that, so our grandparents' generation, they grew up in the depression. Everything was very conservative. Then they taught their kids, okay, you can have whatever you want, shoot for the moon. And then our parents taught us shoot for the moon, but be afraid of everything. So it's like, we have these big dreams, but we're scared to go after them.

And then when I started the travel show and realized I'm afraid of everything, I thought, well, there's something to this because there has to be other people like me that maybe want to try hiking, but are afraid of heights or try traveling, but don't want to leave their hometown. There's ways to break out of your comfort zone, even if it's a different comfort zone than everyone else. Some people it's hanging off a roof. Some people it's going to dinner by yourself. So that became a really big theme with the travel show. And then in the book, I thought I want to increase this to be the entire life, right? How do we push out of our comfort zone and face our fears just on a day-to-day basis? So that brought up a lot of stuff, but yeah, I think it's really important to just toe that line of your comfort zone. You don't have to dive in, but just push it a little.

Yeah, that's awesome. Hey guys, guys we're gonna have to kill the uh history channels the birds hitchcock segment for this show he's got a thing with birds anyway it's like my show i just cry through everything there you go no i love your show on youtube and i think it's great i used to do because you're doing like what i used to do with being a photographer i used to do take day trips and so i load up a bag and i you know shove all the cameras i'm walking around 15 grand where the cameras and lenses and stuff and so i'm wheeling this bag all over like venice beach or going up to to shoot different malibu or different places and i'm like doing all this day shooting and i was watching your channel

i'm like i should have been doing like a, like a whole time of me doing it all. Cause that would be more interesting, but I got great shots and I was busy focusing on that. Someone would have walked off with my bag while I was doing that. But no, I love your show because you're out traveling, you're doing stuff, you're showing people you're touring. And of course you're doing those nice cut videos where you let's keep your interest and stuff. It's a lot of fun. Another aspect of your book, build stepping stones towards reaching your goals. Do I do that with other people? I make them my stepping stone so I can get ahead. Is that how it works? Yeah, there you go. No, it's horrible. I'm a horrible person. No, I really love this aspect because so I spent 10 years in LA and I was so anti-woo-woo. I was anti the vision board,

all the meditation, all of that stuff. But then I started realizing it actually does work. And, but I'm very type a, so I need plans. I need schedules. I need steps. So in the book, I go through, okay, you can do a visualization, you can put it on a vision board, but then it's really about creating those steps to work backwards. So if I see myself as a marathoner in my dream life, but I can't run at all, okay, I work it back in my schedule to a realistic timeline. So literally I did a marathon starting at running a half a mile because I couldn't run at all. So just figuring out what it is that your long-term goal is, but then working it backward into practical steps that you can make into your daily routines today. I'm working on getting to marathon level once at a time.

Right now, I'm just practicing on the getting from my desk to the fridge. Yeah, there you go. And then back again. Usually, I'm a little winded by that point. Good stepping stone. But yeah, good stepping stone. So get that going on. But I'm just kidding too earlier with the joke I made about using people's stepping

stones. Don't do that. That's a real dick move, people. Take lift, rising tide lifts all stones. Don't do that. That's a real dick move. People take lift, a rising tide lifts all boats. Take everybody with you because when you come back down and you usually do come back down, you're going to be looking at all the people you come back down.

You stepped on, uh, create your own personal mental health tool. Kit. How many is this? Like vice grips and C clamps and shit. Yeah, exactly.

Just wear the tool belts around. You'll feel way better about yourself. Att vice grips so i always say i'm gonna put one on each earlobe like little like there is something to that can be new physical pain it can pull you out of your mental headspace so maybe i get that every day i just look at my emails and message direct messages and that's your book no i always say'm not a, I'm not a mental health professional. I do like to preface it with that, but from my own personal experiences, I've learned to build out this, I call it a mental health toolkit. And it's really, as I go in life, I figure out things that work and things that don't work and build out this mental health

toolkit. So when you start to spiral at the beginning, you have things that you can try to prevent that spiral from getting any worse. So it could be, hey, dancing around like an idiot makes me feel good, or that didn't work, so I'm going to sit down and cry, or I'm going to go on an angry run. But you piece together things that have worked in the past, build out this toolkit, and then when you start to spiral, you go through the checklist. What's an anger run? That sounds pretty good.

Oh, that's my anxiety run. I make a joke. I'm like, yeah, how'd you lose 20 pounds? Oh, it's all that anxiety. But yeah, if you're sometimes with the brain when it's going a million miles an hour and you can't seem to get out of your head, one of the best things to do is physical activity. And so even if I'm not a runner, I will blast the angriest heavy metal music and just run as hard as I can until I can't breathe and usually kick me out of my brain. That's what Metallica is for.

Yeah. Exactly. Metallica is like a healing thing. Like people used to see me like head banging Metallica and like, are you okay, man? You seem really angry. And you're like, no, I'm getting it out. I'm getting the demons out. That's what the exorcist is for.

But yeah, I actually have a, I actually have a personal mental health kit, but it's mostly a lobotomy scalpel. So I don't know if that's better or worse than booze. I don't know. You smile all the time and everything's just glorious. You know, I have a sister, God bless her. It was in the care center and she has MS and dementia, but she's reached the point of dementia where she doesn't really know what's going on anymore. And she's as happy as hell. Good for her. Like this whole last year, she didn't really understand the whole concept of coronavirus. In fact, she got it.

She didn't think, God, nothing happened. She didn't even know she had it. It was that wild. And this whole time, she's been fairly happy. She's, what's a pandemic? And I don't care. She's just taking it day by day. She used to call me when she still couldn't remember my number, like every day or every other day,

and be like, happy birthday. It's your birthday today! And I'd just be like, yeah, it is. Thanks for remembering. That's awesome. There's an old Stephen Wright thing. He does a joke about how he was sitting with his 90-year-old grandfather watching a football game. And he goes, yeah, my 90-year-old grandfather, he saw the replay of the touchdown, and he thought they made another touchdown. He was really excited about it, and I was thinking about pointing it out to him that it was just the replay of the touchdown and he thought they made another touchdown he was really excited about it and i was thinking about pointing it out to him that it was just the replay and then i

realized that maybe the game he's watching in his head is better so i love that yeah yeah so that's sometimes i don't argue with crazy people or people that have really good positive visions or vibes because i just look at them go, maybe the game in their head is better. Yeah. They're feeling good. Yeah. So there you go. Mine is mostly just fumbles and concussions. Shift your mindset to see setbacks as set ups. Tell us what that means. Yeah. That's what I touched on before about when change happens to us. Sometimes we get so caught up in things happening to us and we can't step back and see them happening for us. So it's really taking those setbacks or those changes or those pivots or all of 2020, the shit storm that it was and going, okay, what can I do to be my best self coming out of this? And so once you can shift

that mindset, then you can make a plan to things that you actually want in life, which is an amazing feeling when you're going after the things you want. There you go. The things that happen to you are really for you. So when I'm getting mugged, I should say, uh, this isn't happening to me. This is happening for me. There's a reason there's a learning lesson here that this guy, no, I'm just kidding. That's something that's out of the ordinary. Although for me, it's that's Fridays downtown. It's nothing like a good mugging because the reason I like it- Wait, yeah. Stop your present. Yeah. The reason I like a good mugging is because I miss flying. So I miss getting

lusted all the time by the TSA and just getting touched. I can't get hugs or anything during the coronavirus. And I can't go down and just ask to go through TSA screenings and get the whole grab and feel experience. But so I go down and get mugged. That's a Christmas thing. So I used to say that when I traveled, I was like, it's most action I've gotten in a while. Yeah. I actually just pay him the money up front. And it sounds like I have a BDSM problem, doesn't it?

Anyway, it's not a sexual thing. I just appreciate someone. I don't know. It reminds me of my parents raising me. Well, that just took a turn. Here, take your belt off and hit me with it. Anyway, tell me I spilled the milk. I don't know. This is weird. Anyway, this is awesome. Now, it says here you wanted to be a country singer. What is that about? Yeah, I grew up listening to all types of music, but a lot of country. And I was a musical theater major. And so I thought, I want to sing country music and I'm going to go to Nashville and I'm going to do this thing. And I did. It was fine.

I'm not a huge fan of the music industry in general, but I ended up teaching line dance and emceeing at the Wild Horse Saloon, which if anybody knows, it's like a 3000 person venue. And I got to emcee some amazing concerts and huge acts. And that kind of brought about the hosting thing in my life. But yeah, I still sing in cover bands every now and then, which is super fun. Yeah, I've actually, I have horrible stage fright. And my mom would tell me, she said, you're a good actress. And you're a good singer, but you just stand there and you look terrified. So she goes, Why don't you act like a rock star? And so that's what worked. I would do the faux hawk. I would do the leather pants. I had this alter ego and it was so much fun. So yeah, the cover band thing is just like my fun creative outlet. Some people do better with that alter ego thing. You just create

an alter ego of whatever. Like I have an alter ego of some guy who's cool on the radio. And then the rest of the time I just go back in my homeless shelter or something. I don't know. Oh no, you're pretty cool. I've seen you outside of the radio show too. Lisa's clubhouse. Yeah. Uncommon house. Yeah. I don't just don't tell anyone the word will get out that I'm cool. And we don't want that. We don't want to change the reader's mind. So that's really interesting. It sounds like you, you struggle with a lot of things that you were afraid of and stuff. What's the best way to overcome that sort of thing? Do you have a process for that? Yeah. Again, I think it's about towing that line of facing your fears, right? Because

if you do something and you don't like it, I always also say try everything twice because I think the first time we try something, we have this mindset that we already don't like it, whether it's a food or a fear. So I say try it twice. And then if you don't like it two times, you don't have to do it again. I've definitely faced some fears where I'm like, you know what? Checked it off the list and I'm good. But yeah, I think just trying it at least a little bit.

So if you're afraid of heights, maybe don't jump out of a plane. Maybe try a hike that's like a safe hike, but it's high up. Something like that. There you go. I'm going to keep that in mind i i hate people that do that they're like you're like why do you hate that and you're like i'm trying it once and didn't like it what was the format like somebody will try wine and they'll drink it out of i don't know a paper cup and they're like it tastes awful and i'm like you gotta buy it uh have an expensive crystal right readle i tried beer in college and hated

it that was keg beer. That was like Natty White. Maybe, maybe try again. One of your frat buddies had pissed in it before. I'll keep that in mind though. Someone sent me the, the monkey poo coffee. And so I've got two bags of it here. Monkey poo coffee where they eat the beans and then, yeah.

And I, there's a lot of things that I've been open and tried in life and I have, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything, but I haven't quite overcome the, I haven't, I just haven't gotten there. Will you please make a video when you try it? Oh, you know what? Thanks for telling me. Cause I, I should do that. I should make a video. I made a video one time of me trying Vegemite that my Australian friends sent me. And yeah, that was a pretty, that was a pretty, that was pretty interesting video. A lot of people thought it was funny, but it was, that's the most nasty stuff. I look, I give a side eye to Australians after that, but I was always like, I don't trust Australians anymore. Anybody who eats this stuff, I'm not, but yeah, you're right. I should make a video drinking that stuff and making it evidently it's really good.

And they wash the beans. So it probably just tastes tastes like coffee it's just the idea of it yeah it's it's there's they say something about the acid in their stomach changes the the makeup of the bean or somehow i don't know i don't know i'm just really anytime i see people that eat the internals of an animal like intestines and stuff i'm always like do you know what passed through there i don't care how how much you cook it or microwave it yeah okay so literally in the book i say try everything twice except haggis because do you really yeah that's exactly what i say because i tried haggis although i probably would try it again i'd give it another go but it was yeah you were the first time there's just certain things that i won't do i'm just and there's not a lot there's just a few i don't know there's just a few but haggis is definitely i just take one look at that and wow that's just it tastes how it sounds too

does it really yeah oh yeah the thing about vegemite is man that's a really acquired taste like all my friends in australia you gotta start eating when you're a kid. And you're like, well, if I started picking up turds when I was a kid that my dogs put out on the lawn, started chewing, I'm sure that somewhere I would have formed an adoration for that sort of thing. But anyway, I guess technically I will be drinking poop from all technical terms of the coffee. So anyway, I don't know how this turned into the drinking poop shoot, but you've given me good ideas and advice. And now you've hurt me because I'm going to have to drink the coffee twice. We got to hold him to that now, guys. I'm blaming you, Monica. So anything more to talk about on your new book that you have out on Amazon that you want to talk to us about? Tell us about Plug. Yeah, I really just want it to be, it sounds so cheesy, but I do want it to be movement because I think it can help people.

I think people have learned to fear change so much in their lives and there's no better time than right now to learn how to shift that mindset and embrace them. And the one thing I just really want to share to people is it's okay to not be okay. In whatever phase that means to you, it's okay to not be okay. So yeah, that's a message that I keep putting out there for people. But other than that, yeah, I'm just excited that it's out. People are buying it for friends and coaching people are buying it for clients, which is super exciting.

So it's been fun. Nice. I love that. I love that. It's okay not to be okay. I think we needed that on a shirt for this whole coronavirus. We were just kind of going, I'm just feeling so happy that I got my second vaccine. I've hit this new renewal where I'm just going out and eating and doing awesome.

I'm just like, it's like I'm emerging from a prison in my house where I still have to be careful. And I do want to tell people I'm still wearing my mask and being good, but most of the places I'm going out to eat, have a patio. So I'm hitting anybody. If you've got a patio, call me Chris Foss and I've been to your place yet. I'm going as I'm out for adventure. So it's been wonderful to have you on the show, Monica, give us your plugs so people can look you up and order the book. Yeah, absolutely. So you can find everything pretty much on monicagoes.com. And then, like I said, the travel show is on Monica goes show on YouTube as well as social media, Monica go show. But the book is on Amazon right now. It's the power of pivoting, how to embrace change and create a life you love. You can also find on Instagram and Facebook, we have a Power of Pivoting page as well.

There you go. Sign up, guys. Get it, order it, get the book. It's a good time. This is the perfect time to pivot because it looks like this pandemic might be coming to an end. It's time to pivot out of all that stuff we've been going out through a year and a half, a new outlook in life. I feel like have, I feel like I'm getting back the old Chris Voss that I've missed for a year and a half, the guy who felt a little mortal and I miss going and doing new things. Like I love to adventure and do stuff and see new things and try new things because I get sick of me. I get really sick of me and I get bored of everything. What do you want to do? You want to go to McDonald's again? I hate that crap. I'm like, let's go someplace where I haven't tried the menu, where I haven't seen a new

thing or tour a new town or something. I want to go do that. So I'm really excited. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks to Monica for being here. Thanks for coming and spending some time with us today, Monica. Thank you so much for having me on. There you go.

Guys, pick it up. The Power of Pivoting. How to Embrace Change and Create a Life You Love. It's now out in print at March 29th, 2021. So it's just been out for a few days. You definitely want to grab this book, share with your friends, neighbors, friends, families, all that sort of good stuff. Thanks to Maddox for tuning in. Go see the YouTube version of this.

There's some incredibly looking good guy and Monica as well. She actually makes me look much better on the video. You'll probably spend most of your time looking at her because, yeah, you just block out the whole side of my thing. But you can go to YouTube and get a free subscription to the YouTube channel, youtube.com, ForzaSKrissVoss. Can I

hard sell that anymore? Go to all of our different groups, goodreads.com, ForzaSKrissVoss, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and all that good stuff. And we'll see you guys next time.