The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – The Process of Living: Make Your Dreams Become Your Reality by Bill DeBarba

Episode Date: July 21, 2025

The Process of Living: Make Your Dreams Become Your Reality by Bill DeBarba https://www.amazon.com/Process-Living-Dreams-Become-Reality/dp/1960995006 Theprocessofliving.com Second Edition of this Bestselling Book. Feeling stuck? Like you're putting in all the effort but never quite reaching your goals? It's easy to chalk it up to bad luck or the world being against you, but what if there's another way to look at it? Here's the scoop: Your life isn't just a hand you've been dealt; it's a canvas you can paint with your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Norman Vincent Peale nailed it when he said, "Change your thoughts, and you change the world." It's all about taking control of your mindset and steering your thoughts in the right direction. Enter "The Process of Living" – a game-changer in understanding how your thoughts, feelings, and actions shape every aspect of your life. It's like the blueprint for building a sturdy foundation that sets you up for success in communication, relationships, and achieving your dreams. This book isn't just about theory; it's a practical guide to unlocking your full potential. You'll learn why this stuff matters, how it all fits together, and most importantly, what steps you can take to reclaim control of your life and start seeing the results you crave. Say goodbye to wondering "why not me?" and hello to mastering "The Process of Living" – because when you do, you're mastering your life. So, are you ready to take the reins and start living your best life yet? Mastering The Process of Living is Mastering Your Life!About the author Bill DeBarba is an award-winning author and serial entrepreneur. He began the classic “back bedroom office” business, developing custom software for local companies. His company, BusinessWare Services, Inc. (BWSI), grew until he had a staff developing products and providing services to a base of loyal customers around the country. In his 40 years of ownership and management, he achieved a great deal of success. One measure of that success is the fact that never in 40 years did any customers resort to legal action to resolve issues. He learned how to recognize problems from the other’s point of view. And he shared that knowledge in his book entitled The Process of Living. This publication explains how to manage the concepts of acknowledging thoughts, understanding feelings, and taking actions. By effectively applying these functions in responding to difficult issues, he found the most efficient way to simply solve problems. Bill is also an accomplished public speaker with years of experience. His knowledge in business and other types of organizations offers the benefit of being able to focus on objectives. His teachings have been presented at prisons benefitting inmates soon-to-be released to provide guidance on how to avoid recidivism and be successful in their new lives. Bill is available to speak to religious and business organizations at events, conferences and meetings. He is able to present these concepts in a manner that applies to the goals of the respective groups he reaches. If you would like to learn more, please contact him at [e-mail]

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with your brain. Now, here's your host, Chris Voss. Hello, Chris Voss here from the ChrisVossShow.com. Ladies and gentlemen, there are only six of them who are officially welcome to the big show. As always, for Chris Voss Show for over 16 years, Ladies and gentlemen, there are only six of them. It's official. Welcome to the big show as always for Chris show for over 16 years, 2400 episodes. We're going to turn 17 in August and probably at 2500 here about the same time shows we've been bringing you, but what we need you to do is share the love.

That's a lot of damn shows or what we call the Netflix of podcasting. You can pinch us about any topic you want on the Chris Voss show, but you guys love to eat up all of it. So good for you. 96% you guys eat every episode, but share the love because we need more love just to keep the train rolling and keep my back from hurting after 17 years carrying the show. Actually, it's our guests that make the show happen. So, uh, go to goodreads.com, Fortress, Chris F to Goodreads.com, Fortress, Chris Foss, LinkedIn.com, Fortress, Chris Foss, Facebook.com, Fortress, Chris Foss, and Chris Foss one of the Tik Tokity and all those crazy places on the internet you can find us. Opinions expressed by guests on the podcast are solely their own and do not necessarily

reflect the opinions of the host or the Chris Foss show. Some guests to the show may be advertising on the podcast, but it is not an endorsement or review of any kind. It's an amazing young man on the show. We're going to be talking to him about his insightful journeys, his inspirational stories, and his latest book called The Process of Living. Thoughts, feelings, and actions. Make your dreams become your reality because, uh, and making your nightmares a reality is the thing of horror movies. You don't want to do that. That's always bad.

You can, you can read about my life and all that stuff. And, uh, most of it was fun. Anyway, Bill DeBarba joins us on the show. He's a serial entrepreneur and began the classic back bedroom office business developing custom software for local companies. I'm glad to clarify that because I was thinking OnlyFans. His company, Businessware Services Inc, grew until he had a staff developing products and providing services to loyal customers around the United States. He achieved great success in his early 40 years of ownership and management. Boy, we're like twins here, aren't we?

One measure of that success is never in those years did any customer resort to legal action to resolve an issue. Well, that differs on us. He learned how to recognize problems from other points of view. I got lots of shakedown lawsuits over the years, and they're mostly for shakedown. And he shares that knowledge in his book, the process of living, which explains how to utilize the skills of acknowledging thoughts, understanding feelings and acting by effectively applying these functions to solve your complex issues.

He found the most efficient way to solve problems. He's an accomplished speaker with years of experience and his knowledge of business and other types of organizations offers the benefit of being able to focus on his objectives. His experience making presentations to religious and business organizations at events, conferences and meetings. He also makes presentation of both men and women's prisons. That's awesome and has shown that he can present these concepts in a manner that applies to the goals the very group he reaches. Welcome to show. How are you Bill? I'm doing well. Thank you for that introduction. I'm not sure what I have left to say. Well, I mean we'll just wrap the show. Thanks for tuning in everybody. Pick up Bill's book.

Wherever fine books are sold. Bill give us your dot coms. Where can people find you on the interwebs? They can find me at theprocessofliving.com there and Facebook and Twitter or X, whatever you want to call it. Not so much Instagram, a couple of others I can't think of right now, but we've got them in a lot of places. Instagram's a dating app anyway, so it's really all it is. It's a dating app and I don't know, something for 10 to 15 year olds to look at, just like YouTube. So Bill, give us a overview of what's in the process of living. Well, the process of living makes a very simple understanding of what our life is about. But most people don't realize is we only have three parts.

We think we feel we do. That's it. We define ourselves by those three things. And understanding that and paying attention to that, and most importantly, keeping those things going in sequence with each other, making sure they're working on the same pattern is the key to the solving or to the achievement of any goal. Now your system doesn't pass judgments. So you can go after a goal that throws you in prison if you want to. But it will do whatever you ask. And it

will, that subconscious will send a message out and say, Hey, this is what you want. We'll go for it. And I'm not going to pass judgment on you. Just vote for whatever you want. The process is amazing. And I live most of my life not really knowing about it but actually utilizing. And it wasn't until I looked back that I went uh-huh, now I understand how I did that. And understanding how your thoughts, feelings and actions shape your life is kind of important because it's kind of a balance between it all, right? That's correct.

That's correct. Mm hmm. It has to be a situation that you are aware of. Most people aren't aware that that's what's going on. So they do things like blaming others. He did this. That's why I reacted that way. No, you reacted that way because of something going on with me

Okay, and that is and that's the part that I mentioned earlier We were talking that I wanted to listen to one of you broadcasts By the way, I had you at my wife listen to your opening and she loved it. Oh great she's really thought it was great and I was watching and listening to the difference that makes the difference now there was Josh and Greg and After we met I have a big advantage over these guys because Josh will all he has is a PhD in Psychology and neuroscience. I have a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering

See how much better I can handle that situation but the fact of the matter is what they said and what they talked about in how you get the trigger points. And what I was talking about, I didn't use that term, but that's exactly what it was. And I learned a little bit from the broadcast. I learned about how you could look at those triggers differently than I was explaining in my book. And by the way, right after I listened to it, I got their book and I'm going to be here the next little while because this, the show moves the books. And then we have them on the show. It's like a cyclical, it's a self-feeding

process. Now you mentioned basically this is the way to process the master your life. You've got thoughts, feelings and action in basically what is the game changer. Do people need to become self-aware? Is that something that they need? Is this something that can help them become self-aware? Is that something that they need? Is this something that can help them become self-aware? Is that kind of- It really is. Yes, it really is. Because, and I said earlier about the blame game, as long as you're blaming somebody else for what's going on in your life, then what you're saying is they control my life, not me. And until you get that awareness, as you said, then

you don't have the opportunity to make the changes that you want. I want to give you a classic example that this really kind of shows how you can get yourself out of sequence. When I had my business, we provided software to the staffing industry and, and they used it for their payroll and billing. And what happens is if something goes wrong there, and they don't make payroll, they're going to be out of business. Oh yeah. Most people when there was an issue with software, which there always is going to be something. Yeah. They would call and we would

take care of it and that would be fine. Well, one day this guy called me directly, not even customer service. And he said, this software of yours sucks. I can't believe you can sell this. I'm going to call my lawyer. It doesn't work.. I'm going to call my lawyer. It doesn't work. And I'm listening to the guy and thinking to myself, doesn't he know that I'm the only one or a member of my team are the only ones that he can that can fix this for him? And he's going after me this way. Unfortunately for him, I'm a nice guy.

And I didn't yell back and I didn't hang up. When he finally stopped to take a breath, I said, okay, now can you tell me what the problem is? It turned out to be a new employee that didn't know how to use the system. Yeah. So that's what I mean by working against yourself. See, what was going on with him internally was fear. He was afraid that he wasn't going to meet his payroll. But what came out of his thinking and speaking, which is the action was anger. Yeah. So if he didn't have someone as nice as me to work with, he could have had, he could have really been in trouble and nobody would have helped him. Yes. So that's what I'm talking about is that awareness of what's going on within you understanding that that's the top of the line.

If you want to fix something or if you want to achieve something, or if you want to get rid of something that isn't working for you, that's the top of the line until you stop blaming. Okay, you told me I was gonna have to talk, I'm doing it. Pete Slauson You're doing it, yeah. Now, the, we seem to live in a victimhood culture competition society. I don't know if you agree with me on that, but you don't have to. But it seems like everyone's competing to be the biggest victim lately, or at least on social media. And a lot of it's for attention and validation, a lot of it's mating sort of strategy. that's kind of the weirdest strategy ever. But there seems to

be this, you know, we've kind of turned into this emotionalism victimhood society. And a lot of people seem to be struggling with taking self accountability. That seems to be like a kryptonite that many people have in, I don't know, maybe these newer generations, Oh, Chris is picking on the Gen Z again. Anyway, I'm just teasing folks, but, uh, no, it seems like it's, it's kind of like, uh, you know, victimhood having a victimhood flag almost seems like it's, uh, more of a party time and enjoyment than, than take yourself accountability nowadays. I don't know what your thoughts are. Well, I mean, listen, you can't go to a gathering of any size and not have somebody

bitching and moaning about how they've been mistreated, that they've been treated unfairly, whether it's within friendships or at a job or school or whatever it might be and never turn in to themselves. The competition is with you. Yeah. Competition is within you.

And then where you take that, where you see the improvements, where you see the fact that, hey, I'm getting closer every day to my goals, that's how you win. And how the other person thinks of you is not the factor unless you make it. And plenty of times, like you said, they see the world through their rose-colored glasses, their issues. And a lot of times they're projecting onto you their problem, just see the world through their rose-colored glasses, their issues, and a lot of times they're projecting onto you their problem, just like the example you gave of the guy who was freaking out and running in fear and attacking you. Certainly, you know, he was lucky that he found something like you because some people will just be like, you know, click, fuck you. If you're going to talk to me that way, I'm not going to have a conversation with you.

You know, I used to do that when I used to get the, you know, the CEO president and there's, there's a customer on the line. He wants to talk to the CEO. You know, my executive secretary is to come in and be like, yeah, we got someone's hot on the thing. And I would pick up the phone and I'd be like, I understand you have a problem and I'm here to fix it. How can we fix it for you? And they would start the yelling a little bit and then they'd be like, wait, I don't have to convince him there's a problem or I don't have to convince him. He needs to fix something. He, he's willing to do it. And I'd be, and right away I would go into, okay, so how do we fix this for you?

I understand the problem. You know, they, they, you know, they kind of brief me, Hey, you know, somebody fucks something up in the paperwork. Like you say, it's usually some new employer, employee who doesn't pay attention or, I don't know, too much cocaine or something. When you deal with salesmen, you know how that process goes. And, and so that would really help diffuse the situation. Because right away, I would, I would let them know that I was going to fix the problem and I was empathetic and caring about the problem. And so I imagine my voice and the fact that sometimes my voice sounds like I care really helps.

You know? And so yeah, you're right. I mean, but a lot of times people are projecting you, you know, you see these people that go to McDonald's and freak out because they didn't get their chicken nuggets right or they didn't get a straw. Sometimes they shoot the place up. Don't do that folks. And you're like, holy crap, you shot the place up or you beat up some person working at Till for minimum wage or you threw the food at them because you didn't get your nuggets wrong. And we kind of live in that world where you kind of have to anticipate

some of these people's damage and them coming at you and trying to fuse it. And maybe that's an important thing of understanding your own emotions like you talked about in the book. Yes, very much so. A big part of it is, and I go back to what you talked about when you said you were helping someone, you're trying to help somebody on the phone and you said, how can we fix the problem? And then they started yelling and finally said, wait a minute, he's going to fix the problem. One of the biggest problems we have in our society, and I'm talking

about from a personal level to city, state, federal government worldwide, is we don't listen. What? There's no, exactly. That's it. You got it. There is no listening. People will start to hear something they don't want to hear and they shut off everything else is being said. So there's no room for anywhere to meet. There's no overlap anymore because I'm going to say this and you're shutting down. I'm not going to get any further with you than this.

And I could be talking to my wife. Well, not my wife. Of course, it would never happen. Of course. But I could be talking to somebody in the neighborhood, it could be taking place in all kinds of different levels of government and businesses. It doesn't stop. And Chris, I'm going to tell you, I really believe that is the biggest single problem we have, not only in our society, but in the world. People are not listening.

I would wholesale agree with you. And I think that kind of comes into the whole, I think some of the victimhood competition stuff is a bit narcissistic. And I hate using that term because it gets abused today. You know, only 3% of Americans are narcissistic people. So if everyone you're meeting or dating is narcissistic, you're the problem. Check the mirror. But, you know, people don't listen to each other. And part of it is we've created this narcissistic barking world of social media where I'm going to tell you 24 seven, what I think and what I'm doing. And I'm guilty of this too. So I

know the deal. And so we're so busy talking. I think a lot of us have lost that listening ability, maybe. What do you think? Yeah, I do. And I think so. And social media has not helped because you can go out and blast anybody and you could be anonymous about it if you do it right. You can be blasting someone nobody even knows who you are, and there's no way for them to have a conversation or for you to have a conversation. Now, I talk about different levels of communication and what we do on social media is the worst. Pete Slauson Yeah, it hasn't turned out good. It's been

one of those things when it first came out, we're like, Kumbaya, and everyone's going to get along, it's going to be a better world. And we saw governments being overthrown, tyrannical governments being overthrown. And then, tyrannical governments went, wait, we can control this thing? And there's an off button. And, you know, things change. And now it's, I think it's had the biggest impact on women, you know, and men. But the dopamine addiction that I see where people are walking around their phones all the time, and they can't set it down for, you know, five seconds. I mean, they can't.

And you're just like, this is like cell phone zombies just walking around sometimes. And to see young people more than anybody else. Yeah, it really is. I feel sorry for them because maybe I imagine you, I'm not going to guess your age, but I know I grew up in a world where we didn't have the cell phones. All we had was, all we had was mom would kick us out of the house every day to go adventure most of the day until dinner. And I don't know, we were throwing dirt clods against the house and chasing gophers and playing

in the streets and I don't know, doing one, bicycling for hours and doing whatever it was that we did. But you know, we lived in this world without cell phones. I mean, I remember when answering machines come out, that's how old I am, kids. I remember, get off my arm. Clint Eastwood, that's what I'm becoming in the end. Um, the, you know, and I remember, I remember, yeah, when, when answering machines came out and it was such a novelty because you can actually leave a message and you have to keep calling the stupid ass number. But yeah, it's a different world now, but you see people that are addicted to these phones. The other thing that breaks our brains scientifically,

the people we've had on the show have talked about this. You know, our brains are used to seeing 3D and gathering information from faces, people in three dimensions. And that's kind of how we listen to each other too, is taking in that data as well as the audio. But the 2D presence of the phone breaks our brains. We are not used to it, let alone the blue light and all that crap that hits our brain. Give us a rundown on your experience in life. You mentioned four years as a serial entrepreneur. When did you start your first company? When did you get going? And how did you get started? to run down on your experience in life. You mentioned 40 years as an entrepreneur, as a serial entrepreneur.

When did you start your first company? When did you get going? And how did that journey come about? Were there influences when you were growing up, et cetera, et cetera? Well, it was actually 40 years. Was that? Did I say 40 years?

You said four. Four, I'm sorry. Just multiply by 10, you're right on. Probably having a hemorrhage right now. 40. No, actually, really I go back to my youth and I'm a first generation American. My parents came here from Italy. I grew up in an Italian neighborhood and Lawrence, Massachusetts.

I tell people all the time. I think I was about eight years old before I realized it were people in the world whose last names didn't end in a vowel. And I thought everybody was Italian. And you're going to tell me there's a religion besides Roman Catholic? What are you kidding me? But the one thing that I was taught that wasn't as helpful as most of the rest was that, yes, you work hard. That's okay.

You work hard in this world, especially immigrant parents. That's how they saw it. And nobody talked about how you feel. Nobody said a word about how you feel about it. Would you do this? The classic line, would you do it if you weren't being paid? That wasn't discussed. You work hard, period, end of subject. So when I got my degree and I worked as an engineer for a while and then as a manager and I was in my late twenties and I still knew it all. And I decided I want to start my own business, but I didn't have the money to live off. So my accountant said, we've got these guys who are ready to kill each other. They own a van conversion shop.

Now I don't know if you're old enough for this Chris, but this is when in the 70s, the tricked out paint jobs and the foam floors and carpet and seats that look like they belong in the living room. And of course there was a CB radio, you know, and this CB radio, breaker, breaker. And so that's what they were doing. Now, did I have any interest in this? None, not at all. However, it was a business that was being let down because of the people involved I could learn about it. I could turn it around. I could get the money I needed to start my other business No consideration of whether I liked it or not Well, I was in for some surprises between working with a bunch of guys that were very good at their job, but I could have made more money on the commission on the drugs that

were being sold back there. And then there was a recession that took place that hit the automotive industry. It's when Chrysler almost went out of business. That was another part. And then I was dealing with auto dealerships. Now my apologies in advance to anybody listening that is an owner or an employee of an auto dealerships. Now my apologies in advance to anybody listening that is an owner or an employee of an auto dealership. But if you think they're bad working as customer, you ought to try working with them as a vendor. At the end of the day, the

business went bankrupt within a year and a half. And I was this close to being personally bankrupt. I was married to a lady at the time who was a teacher. We sold the house, we got a much more modest place. And what I really wanted to do was the computer program. So I got myself a little computer. I sat up in the back bedroom. And this was in the days that you couldn't buy software for your business.

You got basically word processing, spreadsheets, and some basic accounting. If you wanted software for your business, you got to have somebody write it for you. That's what I wanted to do. For some reason, I found the right people at the right time that challenged my knowledge enough so I would grow, but not so much that I couldn't do it. What I learned from all of that is success is not just hard work. You've got to feel it.

You've got to know that it's yours. You've got to know again, that same line, you know, I'd do it if I wasn't getting paid kind of a feeling that's when you bring in the imagination, that's when you bring in the creativity, hard work alone doesn't do that. Yeah. And that's, that's how I learned how to be successful in business. Love what you do. Love what you do. You know, I, I've talked about that ad nauseam on the, on the show, the audience is going to go, he's going to say it again. But it is so true. And when a council entrepreneurs want to be entrepreneurs on this. I'm like, find something you love. Find something you're passionate about.

My first slew of businesses, I love being CEO. I love being the key innovator and the responsibility of the buck stops here. I love being the guy, but the business that I went into were just businesses and necessity that there were investment vehicles that came forward in time. And I didn't love them. And it was so hard to, to show up to work. You know, one point where I was running three different companies at the same time and always starting little side projects. So I would get bored and, uh, and I didn't love any of them.

And it got really hard and we made a lot of fucking money. The kind that most people wouldn't imagine that it would be hard to show up for work every day, but it did. I mean, after decades of doing it, or a decade or two doing it, you know, it, it got hard and now I do something I love. The podcast is one of them. I love interviewing people. I love talking to people.

I love doing the show. It's the one thing I found after 57 years that I love doing. And it makes it so easy. I don't think of it as work and the waking up in the morning part is probably the hardest part for me. I have to wake up and face the world. But no, you're right. Having that juice for something you love makes it a whole lot easier to wake up in the morning and do it. And I tell entrepreneurs, they'll try and jam themselves into, well, maybe I should franchise Subway sandwiches or something.

There's nothing wrong with that. It used to be a great business 20 or 30 years ago. But do something you love because you're going to get really tired of those submarine sandwich orders after a while. How many foot longs can you make before you get tired of it? I mean, just look at what happened to Jared. Anyway, that's a joke, a dark joke, folks. Anyway, but yeah, you hit that right. And so you found that in your travels too, it sounds like. Yeah. I mean, it was experience I had to go through. It's almost like, and I, and I really believe that when you make a decision, you really want something, your subconscious will take you on the route

that you need to go, but it might not be a straight line. It might take you through areas where you need to learn. You need to experience before you can be successful and whatever it is that you want to do or accomplish. And, accomplish and that's what happened to me. Yeah. And I, you know, you bring up a good point there. I wouldn't have found what I love without going through the journey I did because I can sit here on this podcast and one of my great talents that a lot of people have is

I can talk about just about anything and everything. And then of course, having so many amazing guests like yourself on, I've learned so much from them, I can pretty much talk about anything and everything, at least within reason that I can be dangerous. So I just, at least I'm not stupid. We're like, I don't know what a widget is, but you know, if you do do certain things like, I don't know, physics, you'll probably lose me in algebra, but I can, I can hang in there, the swing at the bat.

And uh, but you know, it is interesting how our journeys of life, we learn a lot of stuff and you're like, I'm never going to use this fucking anywhere. You know, Steve Jobs famously quit college and he kept going back to college for, I think one or two classes and one of them was typesetting and he And he was just fascinated with fonts and all that sort of stuff. And I don't think he really knew how he was going to use it. He just liked it. And fonts and typesetting and being able to write with word processors was the foundational success of the Apple computer.

And so he talks about this in a famous college speech, most people in Google. And you know, just an example of a lot of stuff you learn in your journey of life. And this is why we talk about the stories on the Chris Voss Show of Life. The you know, there it is. So 40 years of being an, uh, serial entrepreneur, I've been a serial entrepreneur for, since I was 18 and, uh, that's when I started my first company. So I'm 57 now. So do the math there.

I'm almost 40 years. I got you. I'm behind by one year or two. So, um, uh, how do you, what are, what are your thoughts on encouraging people to become entrepreneurs over, you know, working for the man per se? Well, you know, it's not for everyone. I mean, it's not a required or a better than ambition than something else. You could be creative working in an environment.

As long as you love what you're working, you don't have to be the head person. In fact, there's a lot of people who don't want to be the head person. They want to focus on whatever it is, whether it's teaching, whether it's guidance as a psychologist, whether it is any number of different things that you're doing in the world that's making a contribution. In some cases being an entrepreneur works best for that. In other cases, it may not. You may not want to get caught up in all of that. I will tell you this though, if you pay attention, if you have a passion for something and you focus on that passion without worrying about the dream killer question, the dream killer question is how? I don't see how.

This is gonna happen, okay? Don't worry about the how. You just stay focused on what you want as the goal. And I went through this experience. I was in Air Force, stationed at Luke Air Force Base in Phoenix. It was the tail end of the Vietnam War. And I was supposed to stay in there for four years, but they were bringing people back home and they let me out a little bit early. But there was a recession going on because the defense industries were in a situation where they weren't selling the product anymore. So and I'm an engineer, which puts me in that particular meld. I couldn't find a job. So I went back to Massachusetts where I had a job

before I was in the military, which they had to give back to me. But I said, oh yeah, yeah, at that time, if I went into the military and I came back directly, they had to give me a job. So I worked as an engineer in that area on some new technology and they taught me it. I didn't ask for that department, they just send me there.

But I had a five-year plan. I was gonna gain some experience. The economy would shift back, I knew it would. And I was going to go back and start applying for jobs. Now, I knew I was gonna be back here. I knew it, there was no question. And everybody who would listen to me, and even if they wouldn't listen to me,

I would tell them I'm gonna be moving back to Phoenix. Well, I had been home one year, and I got a call from a headhunter about 20 miles away from Boston, the area where I was in. And he said, I want you to talk to these people that they might be able to use you. And I said, okay, why not? So I went to meet with them, and we had a meeting,

and the first question they asked me, are you willing to relocate? And I said, well, that depends. What are you talking about? He said, well, the plant we need you in, guess where? 1 year, my five year plan. One year. I thought it was a coincidence.

Now I know it isn't. I put the energy in and the universe helped me find it. Pete Slauson Talk to us about some of the offerings you have on your website, some of the things you do there. I know you do some speaking and some other things. Let's discuss some of those things people can take advantage of from you. Mark Slauson I've got an area for video and audio things, which by the way, this will join, and that people can listen to or watch has to do with the subject at hand for the most part.

I also have a log area where I've written a lot of things on a lot of subjects, some of which can easily be followed, some of which is an application of something into situations going on in our country and our world now, and trying to get that under control and have people. I tell people all the time, you know, I grew up in the late 60s. I was in college, Tufts University in Boston, and I was this, Boston was a hotspot for all the revolt that was going on at the time, all the marches, taking over the administration building, all of that stuff that was going on at the time, all the marches, taking over the administration building, all of that stuff that was happening. This was one of the hotspots.

And then I'm thinking that, you know what? During that time, the Vietnam War was a big one. Everybody was protesting. But racism, sexism, gay rights, all of these things were big issues at that time. And I guess I feel a little sad that we're past a half a century beyond that, and we're still dealing with everything except the Vietnam War. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's kind of frustrating. We just might talk about it. I'll go ahead. And I guess in Iraq, so. Yeah. Yeah. Although it's deadly, but still, nonetheless. Yeah. It's interesting. But I also, you can obviously get the book there. I have a lot

of information about it. I give you a place to hit if you've got a need or a desire to have someone speaking on these kinds of topics, which are becoming more and more popular to bring out, more than happy to take care of that for you. Like I said, everything from prisons to churches. speaking on these kinds of topics, which are becoming more and more popular to bring out, more than happy to take care of that for you. Like I said, everything from prisons to churches. Pete We had an author on, he or she had written, she had written a number of books. And one day, she was approached by a woman at a book signing, you know, she was in line. And the gal told her a story of how her book

helped her get out of prison. And she told the gal, she goes, yeah, we have like a group of us women in the women's prison and we read your book and we make plans. We try to better ourselves so that we can get out of prison and stay out of prison because they recognize the recidivation of prisoners. And she started speaking at prisons, she didn't realize there were these whole groups that were built to read her book and stuff. And when she writes, she keeps a picture of that person in her prison jumpsuit that she gave her. And so, she kind of writes to try and help people in that sort of same situation or people that she can, it helps motivate her to write because she sees something beyond herself and bigger than herself. And so, I'm glad you do that. That's really great that you

go to prisons and reach out because they don't get a lot of tools in prison on how to improve themselves and keep from coming back. That's unfortunate. Well, that's what happens. Yeah. One of the areas that I worked with is they called the Second Chance Program, and they had a group that they felt had the ability to go on beyond and not come back. And they would help get them moving along. And what impressed me when I first interviewed for this, the CEO that I was talking to referred to his clients. And I'm like, what is he talking about? What clients is he referring to? His clients were the prisoners. He was there to serve them. And that was the attitude he had. And that I was sold. I was,

yeah, I said, if that's the way you're approaching it, count me in. Let me help out any way I can. That's pretty interesting. That's it. I mean, everything's about perspective, right? Pete Slauson It is. Pete Slauson That's kind of, you know, what we've talked about here on the show and how you analyze stuff. This is why I love guests on the show. They can talk to me about something maybe I already know, but they'll give me different perspectives on how they approach it, how they analyze it, how they, how they plumb questioning on it. There's all sorts of different things you can learn.

So anything more you want people to know about you before we go out? Anything we haven't covered or touched on? I would really encourage people to take a look at the website and take a look at the book. It's not expensive and it has some thoughts and ideas in it that you may not follow it exactly the way that you wouldn't be doing exactly what's described, but I would be very surprised if there aren't some triggers to use your last guess. If there weren't some of those in there that would trigger you in a positive way to take advantage of what you have and you didn't realize you had it. You know, triggers too are an indication that you are living out of dysfunction with reality,

is my opinion. I don't know what your thoughts are on that. But one of the things I tell people is if you find yourself being triggered by some piece of data or something along those lines, it's a you problem. It's not a they problem. We've kind of talked about that. We alluded that at the very beginning of the show, you know some of the different things were you know, the the gentleman who was calling you was there acting in fear or acting in fear and

you know That's one of the things that kind of tells you hey I need to look at what I'm doing triggers are kind of like mirrors In my opinion where if you're being triggered and you can't figure out why it's emotionally triggering you, it's probably because you're living in delusion. You're out of sync with reality. And in whatever someone's saying to you or coming to you with is giving you reality

and you're living in delusion. And I think triggers are a great way to identify wake-up calls. Like, why am I being triggered? You know, that's part of being self-actualized and talking about some of the things you've written about in the book. Jim Collins Well, and you know, that goes back to what I was talking about, Greg and Josh, who they were talking about triggers in a much more

detailed way and working with finding the good and finding their way back from that in order to have a better understanding and solving the problem. As you're talking about solving the problem within themselves. That was the single biggest thing that got me to buy their book. It's like, I want to learn more about that. But you do have to learn to not be victims because some people love being victims. It's so much easier than, you know than doing the work to fix those problems. And it's great for attention and validation, but it's not really great for self growth. And after a while, most people are just going to get sick of you and just be like, yeah,

we really don't want to deal with your stuff anymore. That has happened. Well, Bill, give us your dot coms. Where can people find you on the interwebs? You can find me at the process of living.com. It's my website. The same goes for my Facebook page, Twitter and LinkedIn. That was the other one.

I couldn't remember earlier. It's also in LinkedIn there too. LinkedIn and all that good stuff. So get out and get some inspiration, darn it, or else. That's what I say. Guys order up his book where Refine Books are sold. It is entitled, The Process of Living. Make Your Dreams, Become Your Reality.

2024 is out May 21st of 2024. Bill DeBarba has been on the show with us today. Folks go to goodreese.com, fortresschrisfoss, linkedin.com, fortresschrisfoss, chrisfoss1, thetiktokitty, and all those crazy places. Be good to each other, stay safe, and we'll see you guys next time. That should have a.