The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – Unlocking Relationship Success: Insights from Therapist Kayla Crane

Episode Date: December 20, 2025

Unlocking Relationship Success: Insights from Therapist Kayla Crane Southdenvertherapy.com About the Guest(s): Kayla Crane is a seasoned licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in relationships, mental health, and trauma. With a focus on relational trauma work, including infidelity, Kayla provides transformative strategies and therapeutic techniques to help individuals and couples achieve emotional well-being. Her practice includes talk therapy, couples therapy, relationship coaching, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. Based in Denver, Kayla offers her services through South Denver Therapy and extends her expertise globally through relationship coaching for clients located outside Colorado. Episode Summary: In this captivating episode of The Chris Vos Show, host Chris Vos dives into the complex world of relationships and emotional well-being with licensed therapist Kayla Crane. With a career dedicated to marriage and family therapy, Kayla unpacks the intricacies of relational trauma, the psychological impact of infidelity, and the crucial role of communication in sustaining healthy relationships. The discussion highlights the importance of addressing unresolved childhood trauma and generational issues that often resurface in adult relationships. Kayla outlines practical therapeutic interventions for relational trauma, such as systematic affair recovery therapy and relational life therapy, which focus on direct, practical approaches rather than conventional methods. Key topics include recognizing when it’s time for therapy, how to deal with unresolved childhood traumas, and the essential nature of empathy and open communication in mending and strengthening relationships. Key Takeaways: Childhood Trauma’s Impact: Unresolved childhood trauma plays a significant role in adult relationships and can manifest as disproportionate reactions during conflicts. Communication is Key: Open and direct communication, even about uncomfortable topics, is essential for relationship health. Importance of Therapy: Couples are encouraged to seek therapy not only to solve existing problems but also as a preemptive measure to strengthen their bond. Generational Trauma: Understanding and addressing generational trauma are vital for breaking unhealthy relationship patterns. Constructive Conflict Resolution: Establishing conflict resolution agreements and taking timeouts can lead to healthier argument dynamics. Notable Quotes: “You can take accountability for contributing to your partner’s pain whether you agree or not. If they’re hurting, they’re hurting.” “A lot of people think when they’re going to therapy, the relationship is probably over, but sometimes the issues are fixable.” “If you’re having maybe a disproportionate response, that’s a sign you’re responding to something from your past.” “Relationships can improve significantly with just a few tools and open communication.” “Generational trauma shows up all the time, especially where trauma wasn’t worked on as commonly as it is today.”

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Because you're about to go on a moment. monster education roller coaster with your brain now here's your host chris voss the folks boss here from the christmas show dot com the latest young in there and ladies things that makes official welcome to the big show as always the chris fos show for 16 go on 17 years bringing the most amazing minds and authors with over 2600 episodes you can now just sit and binge quit your day job just sit and listen to the chris boss show because that's it might make your life better although uh We don't pay your bills, so sorry about that.

It's in the fine print. You check the attorneys. Anyway, guys, we have an amazing young lady on the show. We're going to be talking to her about her insights in what she does in counseling and helping them get better because we all need better. And last time I checked, you know, I checked on Twitter there, we all need some serious ass counseling, probably for a few decades. Opinions expressed by guests on the podcast are solely their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host or the Chris Voss show. Some guests of the show may be advertising on the podcast, but it's not an endorsement or review of any kind.

Anyway, we have Kayla Crane on the show with this today. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in relationships, mental health, and trauma. Why don't I feel like she's talking about me? No, I'm just kidding. She provides talk therapy, couples therapy, relationship coaching, and EMDR therapy to adults and couples. Kayla offers practical insights and tools for those looking to enhance their relationship and emotional, well-being, and all that good stuff. We're going to be talking to her about how life is going and how maybe we can make our lives better. Kayla, welcome the show.

How are you? I'm good. Thanks. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming. We really appreciate. Give us any dot coms. Where do you want people to find you on the interwebs?

Just south Denver Therapy.com. South Denver therapy. The old Denver, we love the Denver and the Lodo, but not to hail so much. So give us 30,000 over you, what you do there? Yeah. So I do specialize working with couples and in trauma, and I like to combine the two. So I do a lot of relational trauma work. Infidelity is a big part of my practice.

That's what I really love to work with most, I think. You cheat on your clients with other clients? No, I'm just kidding. You have more than one client. So is infidelity a big thing these days? Is that an escalating issue, or is it just kind of always been consistent? I think it's always been consistent, but it's definitely not an issue that people talk a lot about, the people they know. Yeah.

Much more open about, like, just general problems. Fidelity is something that's not talked about so much. I hear about it all over the dating scene, so that's always fun. You never know what people are saying. I think when people date, they should have, like, a sign letter from their therapist that gives them a referral. I think we need you know how like when I have to go to the hospital I have to go to a general practitioner and then get a referral from the GP to the expert or whatever the dude who really knows what he's doing or something I think we need to have that in just just personal lives like when you show up to hire for a job you got your letter from your psychologist there says you're fixed and squared away people are sharing too many issues tell us what's going on with therapy these days marriage family therapy therapists, some of the services you offer, and how you apply them? Yeah, I practice systematic affair recovery therapy, and so I really, like I said, I really

like doing that. It's a pretty structured process. I found it to be really successful. So I like that. I practice just for general couples therapy, something called relational life therapy, which is very practical type of therapy. Yeah. And so it's, I think, a little bit different than very traditional couples therapy, the way that I work. It's more direct. And we kind of just say, not everything's 50-50. A lot of people are under the impression that problems are everyone's equal contributor, but that's not really the case. Sometimes, but a lot of times it's not. That doesn't, people aren't, it's not usually a hundred percent one person's fault. You know,

Sometimes certain things need to be addressed a little bit more on one end or the other. And so I find that really practical in that way. Let's just address whatever's coming in. I'm not worried about trying to make it look, you know, 50-50 or totally equal because that's not always productive. Yeah. Like sometimes I watch some of those, I don't know if you've seen it like on TikTok, they had like cuts of shows. I think they're on TVs and stuff. And it's kind of interesting.

Like some of the times they're just listening to the person to two people in couples therapy do their bit of, you know, whatever they're discussing. But you can always kind of watch it and you can be like, yeah, I think the problem is that one person there. I think what's going on here. The other person seems to be trying. The other person just doesn't seem to take self-accountability for anything and whatever. That's kind of one of the things I've been seeing in the world is the death of self-accountability and just this victimhood competition. that's been going on that seems to want to go to the umpteat level it's almost like an olympic sport now hey you've been victimized no i've i've been victimized more bigger victim you know it's

people are just like in competition to like see how they can be and then taking accountability i mean you can't fix your problems in life i don't i don't think you can do counseling very well if you don't take accountability i mean even if you aren't wholly the problem you know taking accountability being like, okay, what can I do to contribute better and maybe not contribute worse? I don't know. Is that a thing? Or am I just making stuff up at this point? No, I think that's totally, you know, a thing. I think maybe these days there's so much content, you know, like all social media and everything that I do think, and there's a lot of pop psychology. and I think that maybe that gives people a little bit of, like, justification sometimes for their being here.

All the understanding of what that really means. I spend a lot of time, like, helping people move away from the being right or wrong because people get caught up in that all the time. And so you can take accountability for, like, contributing to your partner's pain, where you agree that you did what they said or not, if they're hurting, they're hurting. And so that's something that you, that has to be addressed that they're hurting. But if your partner's hurting and you're just saying, wasn't my fault, didn't mean to, that's not going to be conducive to a healthy relationship. Yeah.

What do you, what do you, what's, what's some of the top topics or a top topic do you see people struggling with in couples therapy? therapy and how it can be more successful because I mean I think some people think you know if we got to go to therapy you might as to just break up I got a story on that too where there was a girlfriend I had moved in I didn't realize she'd gone off her cancer medicine and and I couldn't figure out why she you know I had this Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde experience only Mrs. Hyde I suppose and there were a few other factors that went into it from her past and traumas that I didn't know about either I knew about I'm going to explore them enough. But I remember at the end of the relationship, I was like, you got to move out. I can't make this work after a year and a half. And she got baby rabies really bad, too.

That was the other thing. Her younger brother had children. And she's, I was supposed to have them first. And I'm like, you know, life doesn't work that way. It's done. So you can't just order what you want. And I want a baby now. And if I can have a baby with you, I'll have it was somebody who will give to me. And I'm like, oh, shit, you don't love me. Get the fuck out of my house. And so I said to her at one point, I said, look, I'm not a quitter. I'll go to therapy just so that I can say that I try to make this thing work. I'll do it. I will go to therapy with you and we'll do couples therapy just to make this work. You know what? She told me, bowl face. She goes, no, I don't go to therapy. And I go, why? She goes, because they'll tell me that it's me. And I know it's

me. I'm not even kidding you. I wish I could record these things on video. So what are you guys, what are you finding in therapy that is hurting people and maybe that perception of how, you know, couples therapy can help? Yeah. I think that therapy can help a lot. I think people don't realize that I do have sometimes people coming in and they say, you know, this is like, they're pretty much out, but their partners maybe dragged them in. And I'll be talking to them and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is totally fixable. We can fix this in like a couple months, you know, like even shorter. And so that happens so often that people are really like sure that the relationship is over and it's totally fixable.

And that's even, you know, that's even the case with infidelity a lot of the time. But even, you know, sometimes people are really like headed out and it's just simple like communication stuff. They just need a few tools. And I hear people say a lot like, oh, maybe if I would have tried this with my last relationship, that would have worked because it really does work a lot of the time. So I think that that's important to like recognize like it's worth a shot. And yeah, I mean, communication is always something people need work on, always. And I think it's a lot of times people say, I don't know how to say this or I don't know

how to say this or this and it's we'll just say that you know and I think we all get cut up in like this thing where I don't know like the right like how to communicate whatever but it's that's it just say what you're thinking you know obviously with kindness but there doesn't need to be some magic formula you just need to be direct you just need to say what you're thinking you're feeling and just that in itself can change so much because otherwise if you're whatever you're not saying your partner is making up that's what we do as human beings we make meaning of everything and unfortunately if you're not in a great place in your relationship you're going to make negative meaning of that and so if you just say just tell your partner they don't have to guess they don't need to tell

themselves these stories again that we all do without enough information that that piece is just like super important yeah and then sometimes you can tell somebody directly what the thing is and they will misinterpret it and take it as something else and misconstrue it. I've had that happen a million times where I'm like, you told me this and it meant what to you? How often do you see in couples therapy and just general overall therapy that you do unresolved childhood trauma, emotional damage, things along those lines that they've, you know, baggage they've brought into the relationship.

How often do you see that as being a factor in relationship issues? Most of the time. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I mean, all our childhood trauma, all our childhood experiences make us who we are today. So we literally wouldn't be these humans without those experiences, positive and negative. And so it shapes everything.

And a lot of times when people are fighting, they're responding to a situation that's not in front of them. Right. And so they're like having this reaction and they're not. realizing that they're kind of, they're speaking to their partner as if they would have been speaking to their maybe abusive parent or whoever. And so that's when the response can be, I tell people like, if you're having maybe a disproportionate response and it's a little confusing, that's probably a sign that you're responding to something from your past. You're not responding to the present-day situation with this current partner.

and that's really important to ascertain and that's why I said in there earlier in the show that you know we need to start really addressing trauma from childhood and stuff I mean fuck algebra too let's start addressing trauma in high school and maybe teach people how to balance a checkbook and why credit's important and you know life skills I mean relationship skills hurt children their families they create generational trauma I think Do you believe in generational trauma and being passed down through generations of... Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes that's a factor as well, I suppose. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you only know what you've been surrounded with unless you seek out learning different things, you know. But a lot of us don't. And a lot of us, like, we don't even realize

that our childhood was not the health... Like, people, all you know, is your experience. And so it's not uncommon for people to be like really surprised that, oh, this isn't everyone's experience, you know? And so that's totally it. But generational trauma shows up all the time, especially are, you know, adults. And I would say like people born in the 90s and earlier, trauma wasn't worked on as commonly as it is today. And so there are There's a lot of that, you know, obviously the older, the further back you go, there was, people just didn't work on it.

So it did just, you know, go generation through generation. And now it takes a lot of work for them to undo that. Hmm. But it's doable. Yeah. And this, you know, when now my understanding of trauma and studying the stuff and having a lot of great psychologists like you on the show, you know, I've learned a lot of things. a lot of times when I see people doing what I can interpret as a trauma response, you know,

and they're going in that fight or flight mode or they're attacking because they, like you said, they see you as their original victimizer. And you have to realize that, you know, oh, this is a little girl who feels unsafe and dangerous and an unstable environment of her child and a home of whatever was going on. And, and this is the child. This is the child responding to me and lashing out. But it's not, I'm not the, I'm not the victimizer, but I'm being seen as that person. It's being threaded through that narrative in her mind.

And that's what's triggering her. And so being able to look at that from that lens has really helped me. This is the childhood trauma person. And this is the child that's here before me. And this isn't about me. This is about them. Somehow I've triggered them into that trauma response from their trauma. And I don't, my intent is very different than whatever happened to them as a child, but clearly this has been the trigger, something I've done is the trigger. And now I need to kind of understand this person and where they're at.

And so that's kind of how I've grown into this, but it's taken 58 years of trials and training. But do you, there was a question I had for you. I think I lost it here, but it'll come back. But what are some tools that, how do you, let's try and help people in the audience. How do you know when it's maybe time to go talk to a therapist and do therapy with the person like yourself? Yeah, I would say, you know, like you were saying that inner child, we develop adaptations at around five years old. Those don't just go away. So as adults, when we get dysregulated, we go back to those adaptations that we're developed.

looked at five. And so we are operating like a child. And oftentimes our partners will respond to that and that'll bring them into their adaptive child. And then they've got two like five-year-olds fighting. And that's really what it looks like. Sometimes if you step back, it's, oh, wow, that is really what it looks like. But I would say, you know, when you find yourself doing that frequently, that's a good time. Just when you're getting more of those times where it's, wait a second, that's not, it's just not landing what I'm trying to say. They're just not getting it. Definitely when you're seeing things through a negative lens, when you're interpreting your partner's behaviors negatively, oh, they're just trying to hurt me or something. That's very

rarely the case that your partner's intent is just to hurt you. I mean, sometimes, but rarely. And so I think when, if you start sensing that and looking at things like with negative intentions, that is a great time to get into therapy. But obviously, the earlier, the better, ideally before anything starts, you know, to develop those skills. But that's not always, it doesn't always happen. So in that case, just, you know, when the fights are lasting longer, I tell people, it's like, you're always going to fight, but hopefully the goal is to just have the repair come quicker, right? One fight, not drag out, like days or hours or anything. like that but fight repair fight repair yeah it's going out longer and longer i think that's also an

important time to see how yeah the i i often joke that if i ever got into another serious relationship that i would start going as a couple to pre-problem problem therapy like like what you mentioned before like start you know doing check-ins so you know kind of you know like you check your oil in your car every 3,000 miles, you check in, you're like, hey, how's that oil doing? Let's recheck it, put some fresh stuff in there, and just check in on the engine, make sure everything's humming along. And it seems like a lot of things that happen in relationships, they start small. I don't want to give any credibility to microaggressions because I want to punch people in the head that do that, but I probably need therapy for that, as you could

probably tell. But, you know, it seems, you know, small stuff. And it just kind of builds. And And then, you know, by the time you're at that point in the relationship where you're at each other's throats and, you know, like you said, the fights are lasting days, years, decades, and all that sort of stuff into divorce, it's really hard to fix because, you know, the onion is just grown so big and trying to peel off all the layers to whatever the original core thing was is nearly, it seems impossible. I mean, you've worked through people with these issues, so you know more about what comes out the other side than I do. But, yeah, doing pre, during pre, like I said, I think people should go to college for two years to learn how to be good human beings and resolve their trauma. And maybe is maybe a good advisory position if you've had childhood trauma, you're having problems in your relationship. Maybe you should look to work on that first, maybe. I don't know. Yeah.

I mean, anytime you can work on the childhood trauma, that's important because it does impact everything in your life. It doesn't just impact your relationship, but it's, you know, everything, trauma is the belief it creates inside abuse. You know, people are, you're operating with this belief that there's something wrong with you or you're whatever it is. So that's always important to work on. Also, it doesn't have to be, you know, before you can still go to a couple's therapy, even if you've still got that happening. You can do it simultaneously. since I do also have trauma training, I do some of that work in the presence of a couple's session, you know, depending on the situation. But that can also, if everyone's comfortable with it,

that can be really helpful for your partner to watch just because they develop some empathy, right? Oh my gosh, no wonder they get so upset when I leave. They have this abandonment that, you know, now I'll do things differently. It's a lot easier for people to commit to do things differently if they can make sense out of why. Yeah. I think that was a good advice. That was a lead-up question that I had for you, was does it really help if your partner

understands your childhood trauma or your issues or things that, you know, how you view life through your oldest covered classes of trauma and trauma response, maybe? Yeah, yeah, definitely. you know, I think just as human beings to hear somebody's story that definitely evokes so much empathy, you know? And like I said, people are so much more willing to, oh my gosh, like just this one little thing will help. I'm happy to do that. But before, maybe they're like, that doesn't make sense to me. I don't know why you care about that. I wouldn't care about that. A lot of times that's the mindset people have. That's not important to me. I don't understand why it would be

important to you. So when they can see that work, oh, now I can understand why that would be important to you. Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, in dating, the first thing I establish is what someone's childhood is. I don't know what your thoughts are on this, but one of the things I look for or I believe in is that as children, we get blueprints. And we get blueprints from father in the home, mother in the home. We get the masculine and the feminine blueprints. We see the interaction between the two. And of course, the masculine can be on either side. of the sexes in a relationship. You know, sometimes the mother is dominant.

Sometimes the father's dominant. And so we get these blueprints from childhood of what a relationship looks like according to our parents, which, as you mentioned before, may not always be how the world actually operates or other people who are in the world to operate. So it may just be specific to us. And then I've heard that people will take those blueprints and they'll go into the world and they'll try and replicate their relationship blueprints that they got from their parents, but they'll try and reconcile some of the failures of those relationships.

And a lot of times it doesn't work out very well for them because they're setting up the same scenario with the same people, the same issues that that's kind of the reason it fails in the first place. I tell the joke that it's two people, one person gets together with the other person, you go, hey, what do you got? And you're like, I got a box of broken glass. glass. And they're like, cool, I got a box of open razor blades. Let's get together and mix the box and play in it. See what happens. Maybe we can make it better from our childhood. Yeah. I don't know if you have any thoughts on that or what. Yeah. We feel comfortable with what we know, what we grew up with.

And so whether it was healthy or not, whether, and, you know, sometimes people, they even know that their upbringing wasn't healthy, but it still feels more comfortable. So it's not uncommon for somebody to come from a very abusive home household to get into an abusive relationship. They know intellectually that's not healthy. Also, it feels safer and more comfortable because it's what they know. Growing up, maybe like the peace meant that there was something scary coming up that was following that, right? So it's just uncertain, uncomfortable. But, but yeah, some people, a lot of times, we don't even recognize, oh, this wasn't great. And, you know, a lot of times people are like, my childhood was perfect. My people say that a lot. And then, you know, we go through it and everyone has,

you know, bad experiences. That does mean everyone has, like, bad parents. Those experiences could be coming from anywhere. But, but, yeah, I think it's important to, like, understand. and really define what is healthy, what are we looking for versus what is comfortable. Because I think sometimes the two get mixed up, but they can be very different. Yeah. And sometimes that doesn't work while, I think, going out in water. Like, if I'm dating or if I'm courting or messaging someone or talking to them, and I hear that they stayed in relationships that had, you know, dense physical abuse,

I just I would just walk away because I'm because I know that these people until they heal their trauma they've learned that that's the norm from maybe their childhood blueprints or maybe the norm in the relationships they've been in up until now and like you say they're used to that they're used to that environment and I'm not someone who's really interested in providing that environment because I don't like abusing people I abuse myself enough I guess as it is when it comes down to it but you know I it's interesting in seeing how people do that and trying to find people that can match up. And to me, you know, when I meet people, you know, even if I meet people in business or when I do relationships with business or personal, even if they aren't romantic, I'm curious about people's trauma. They're upbringing, what motivates them, how their, how their glasses shape their viewpoint in life, what they see, what they can't see in other blind spots.

or ketomas. I'm just interested in how people are and behave because a lot of times that can impact me in my relationship with them, whether they're a friend or whether their business partner, et cetera, et cetera. I don't know. Maybe I'm just reached a point of paranoia at this point. Yeah, I've been through some shit with some weird-ass people that shared their trauma with me and I wasn't interested in sharing, but they didn't.

What are some other aspects of your, no, I know, I don't, I'm not sure if we establish this. I know we established this in the pre-show, but so you can do license, marriage, and family therapist in the state of Colorado, but you can do, I guess, national, international as a coach. Is that correct? Yeah. And the difference there is, as a coach, I wouldn't do any kind of trauma work.

That would just be, like, licensed work in the state of Colorado. But relationship coaching, that kind of stuff. Yeah, I can do that with anyone, anywhere in the world. actual therapy and trauma therapy, the client needs to be located in the state of Colorado at the time of service. So you can come there for some mushroom and therapy you guys are doing there. The old Colorado's got everything illegal, I think, now, doesn't it? One stop shop. It's being Vegas at this point. Now, you know, in pre, I've heard one of the best things you can do in relationships is have an agreement when you argue on how.

you argue. And, you know, some people in an argument will exit the scene. Some people want to sit and battle in the battle in the battle cage of arguments. You know, some people believe in, you know, escalating it to the point of yelling, screaming. Is having sort of a pre-agreement on certain things in a relationship like fighting and maybe other things, conflict resolution, a good thing to do pre-ahead of time, maybe sit down with a counselor and go, okay, let's make some agreements on how we're going to fight when if we fight yeah absolutely i tell people like one really simple thing you can do is just take a timeout when either you or if you're recognizing your partner is becoming dysregulated it's not going to be productive and so someone calls a time out

but just the critical pieces set a time and come back at that time i say usually not less than two hours, try not to go more than 24 hours. But just doing that alone will allow you to get regulated, then come back. And because you can have all the tools in the world, but if you're not regulated, you're not going to be able to use them. And so that's so critical to just be able to take a step away or whatever and get regulated. Now let's go and communicate appropriate or whatever, you know. Just taking a break before, you've got to set it.

time to come back. I know for a lot of women, safety is a big thing. So they feel unsafe, especially during an argument, you know, where boys get raised and everything else. Sometimes I can escalate situations. And the same for feminine men, too, because they'll react emotionally. But, you know, like one of the things I don't, I don't like to argue when people are up in their feelings.

I like to try and calm the situation, but also be like, let's talk about this at a time when we can talk about it rather than, you know, being this emotional trauma response of yelling and screaming and flipping out. How do you know when you're in a feeling of being dysregulated in a relationship and you're trying to resolve that with the other person? Or maybe, you know, if I'm in a relationship and someone's feeling disregulated, how do I identify that? How do we identify that?

Yeah, like I said, usually that's the case that's their adaptive child. behaviors so they're all quite immature and you know truly and so black and white thinking that's a sign that you're maybe not like present regulated more nuanced thinking is much more regulated like physically tense in your body that's a sign that you're probably you know not completely regulated so yeah you can look at physical signs you can look at behaviors but yeah i think anything that you wouldn't do if you were completely calm and you know at your best that's probably a clue that you're you're not regulated you know go take a take a break and then come back and do whatever you got to do to calm down whether it's take a nap meditate journal have a snack watch so whatever

It's calm down however you need to and then come back. So, Kayla, give us an overview of what you offer on your website, how people can use your services, and reach out to you as well. Yeah, I can be found on south Denver Therapy.com. I offer, like I said, relationship therapy in, to anyone located in the state of Colorado, I can offer relationship coaching to anyone in the state of Colorado. I can offer relationship coaching to anyone in the world. You can also find me on Instagram at South Denver Therapy, Facebook, South Denver Therapy. And I've also got an app coming out, and that is, for now, you can find it at couplesconnect.co, COCO. Couples counseling and individual counseling.

So people, I love how it's great that a psychologist now can outreach from beyond, you know, I think that whole state localized license thing is just awful. I mean, we need more psychiatrists that can work in more areas because I've seen people. This whole country needs a damn therapy, especially after COVID, including me. So I'll throw myself under the bus. We all need help. I've seen things. So anyway, and so people can tell a, what do they call it?

Telemedicine call through you? Yeah. Telehealth, yeah. Telehealth call through you. If they're on an international scale and they need therapy beyond what you're regulated in the state of Colorado for. And yeah, I mean, I highly recommend it. One of my pet peeves as people probably know on the show is people who do everything

to avoid therapy and claim their healing, you know. Well, I'm doing crystals and I'm healing. Oh, I'm doing soundbass and I'm healing. No, you know, you've childhood trauma over some horrific tea, big tea stuff. You need to go into therapy for like five to 10 years. And it's just astounding how hard people work to avoid therapy. And the crazy bat shittery that they'll come up. You know, it's not that I'm a bad person that I have unresolved trauma.

You know, my moon was just in retrograve. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, I think a lot of people, unfortunately, have either gotten messages from upbringing that there's something negative about therapy. And I've heard some people have history of negative experiences, which is really sad because that can prevent somebody in the future from getting really good help. Yeah, yeah, definitely. And they can get it through you so they can reach out to you. Give us your website as we go out one last time and we'll wrap up the show. South Denver Therapy.com.

South Denver Therapy.com. Get some help, people. And if you think you're, you know, you find the world's kind of kicking your butt and you're having trouble and, and, you know, maybe you've got, you know, you're getting overloaded by thoughts and depressed and, you know, talk to somebody.

Please, reach out. It's the best thing you can do. Ask for help. Because if you know it's for help, no one knows there's anything wrong with you. And you don't want to be one of those people who self-harmes. You want to get help, and there is help out there.

And I can tell you that, you know, I've been through trials and true of my life. I've sought therapy and drug therapy for, you know, Zoloft and antidepressant drugs. And they have helped me immensely and changed my life because I, I don't know, I'd probably be in prison if I hadn't sought help for some of my ADHD and an extreme, extreme OCD. Yeah. And if, you know, if somebody, if you work with a therapist, it's not a good fit. Just try again. You'll find one, you know, but just because you don't have a good experience with one doesn't mean that it's always going to be a bad experience. That's a really good message because a lot of people do, oh, I didn't like the person.

The other thing is sometimes you're not going to like the answers you're going to hear if you have a good therapist who's holding yourself accountable. Because that's the point. That's, you know, if you're getting triggered about something, it's because you're not living a reality in something. That's my policy. I don't want to speak for you, but to me, when people need to recognize that when something's triggering them or when they don't like how someone's, you know, presenting them with reality, and if they're living in delusion, then, you know, they see it as, well, I don't like what they're telling me. You know, the hard stuff in the reality isn't nice. It isn't pleasant, especially if you've been ignoring it for a long time. You've got to deal with it, right?

Yeah, therapy is not supposed to be fun. I'd tell people told me that one. You know, it's supposed to be hard. Denial is not a river in Egypt. Get help people, seriously. It can only help you, I would think. I can't ever think that going to therapy would not help someone unless you don't want it to work. I've seen people going to therapy and game the therapist and, you know, put all sorts of PR spin and BS stories, the therapist.

And, you know, the therapist can only go off what you tell them. So, you know, if you decide you want to play games or game your therapist and try and get them as dilute as you are, then, you know, they don't, you know, they're just going off the day to feed them. And I've seen that. I've seen where people have game therapists. And, you know, the therapists are just, well, you know, all they can know is what you tell them and kind of the patterns they see. So, you know, go in there, be honest, talk to people. It's just amazing to be about people. just won't be honest about stuff. Hey, I'm having some problems with this.

And be accountable, people, self-accountable. Anyway, thank you very much for coming the show. We really appreciate it. Kayla, a great message. And look forward to great work from you in the future. Yeah, thanks for having me. It was great. All right. Thank you. And thanks for much for you to do. Goodreads.com, Fortress Christchristch, Christfuss.

And all those crazy places in the internet. Be good to each other. Stay safe. We'll see you next time. You've been listening to the most amazing, intelligent podcast. ever made to improve your brain and your life. Warning, consuming too much of the Chris Walsh Show podcast can lead to people thinking you're smarter, younger, and irresistible sexy.

Consume in regularly moderated amounts. Consult a doctor for any resulting brain lead.