The Chris Voss Show - The Chris Voss Show Podcast – When The Ice Melts: The Story of Coralyn Jewel by Coralyn Jewel

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

When The Ice Melts: The Story of Coralyn Jewel by Coralyn Jewel Coralynjewel.com In this short read, Coralyn Jewel shares her story of how she went from Olympic hopeful to thriving in the adult entertainment industry. The story starts from interview and is finished off with words from Coralyn to her readers. Her experiences inform, humanize and even entertain. Jewel's hope is to shed light on the industry. Author Ryan Michaels beautifully conveys the humanity and eye opening entertainment of his conversations with an adult performer and swinger lifestyle coach, sure to inform and grab your attention.

You wanted the best. You've got the best podcast, the hottest podcast in the world. The Chris Voss Show, the preeminent podcast with guests so smart you may experience serious brain bleed. Get ready, get ready, strap yourself in. Keep your hands, arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Because you're about to go on a monster education roller coaster with your brain now here's your host chris voss hi folks this is voss here from the chris voss show.com the chris voss show i'm just here for the brain bleed that sounds stupid but it's funny hey guys thanks for tuning in I hope you're all here for the brain bleed. Or, you know, I think it's midweek right now.

You're probably watching this 10 years going, what the hell, Chris? No, it's midweek right now, and your brain might be bleeding. What do they call it today? They call it hump day. I think that's where, I don't know. I'm not going to make any jokes for that, or else I'll probably get banned on YouTube. Anyway, guys, thank you for coming by the show. We certainly appreciate you guys always.

You guys are the best audience in the world. Have we ever had that discussion? Have we ever sat down and said, let's talk. Let's have a discussion. You guys are the best audience in the world. We're approaching 13 years tomorrow officially is our thing. Thank you for giving us the great month. The numbers this month have been up 30% than normal.

And we're 13 years old. So I don't know. What are we doing right after 13 years? I guess we finally got through to people. Damn it. Millions of downloads in the last month of 13 years. You guys decided to show up or something. I don't know.

But thank you for referring the show to your friends and family. Clearly, a bunch of you are doing that, sending it out there. Be sure to go to iTunes, give us a five-star review over there. We certainly appreciate that as well. And it makes us so don't cry in between the shows going, I wish there was more reviews. Why don't they love me? Anyway,

I love you back. The family loves you, but does judge you. The Chris Foss Show, go to LinkedIn. Our big group, 122,000 people over there. The LinkedIn newsletter, goodreads.com, 4Chess, Chris Foss Show. Go to LinkedIn. Our big group, 122,000 people over there. The LinkedIn newsletter, goodreads.com, 4Chess, Chris Foss, all those crazy places on the internet you can find us. Today, we have another amazing author on the show. She is the author of the book, When the Ice Melts, the Story of Coraline Jewell. It came out June 21, 2020.

She's going to be talking to us about her amazing book, her story, and everything that she does on the show. So it'll be an honor to have her as well with us. So we're going to talk to her. She is an international bestselling author, a certified master's sexologist, podcaster, adult performer, lifestyle coach, coach motivation speaker sex positive advocate top-rated wedding planner swinger lifestyle community owner and over 20 000 members and most recently was promoted with over 20 000 members and was recently promoted to head to pr

okay uh so she does some realm pr too uh she was graced on the covers and pages of ABN, Las Vegas journal, ASN lifestyle, lifestylers magazine, and night moves magazines. She was voted the top 100 sexologist for please me.com. Man, I didn't even make the top 100. You must've pushed me out. Uh, and, uh, 20 and 22, 21, 22 brought, multiple ASN Lifestyle Magazine Awards and nominations. Welcome to the show, Coralyn. How are you?

I'm good. Thank you for having me. How are you today, Chris? There you go. As someone who's a Las Vegas native, I sure know what AVN is all about. Yeah, I was just in Las Vegas. I just came home yesterday. Yeah, it's quite the thing. So

give us your.com so people can find you on the interwebs. So let's see. We just, I just redid my entire website. So this is thecorelandjewel.com. And then from there you can link to my podcast, which is highprofilepodcast.life and all my social media and everything is from there as well. So you've written an interesting, you've written about an interesting life in your book. Is this pretty much the whole story of you growing up as a child and what got you down the road? Yeah, so my book is kind of interesting. It's kind of like when life throws you a curveball

and you have to decide, like, is that something I should do or should I not do? I grew up, I was born in South Africa. I was immigrated from South Africa when I was three years old. My entire life was a competitive, I was just training to go to the Olympics for ice skating and I was going to represent South Africa. And so, yeah, my whole childhood, everything, you know, people said, what do you want to be when you grow up? I want to go to the Olympics for ice skating and nothing mattered.

Nothing else mattered. I was, you know, I went to college, but what happened was I got injured when I was 18 years old. And so I didn't want to tell anybody, you know, that I was as hurt as I was. And so I was taking, you know, ibuprofen or whatever I could to try to get through the training and came to the realization that there's no ways, there's no ways I'm going to be able to compete at the level that I was hoping to. And so my life took a turn and, and, um, you know, it's kind of like how I went from,

you know, um, Olympic hopeful to my married somebody. We moved to Sweden for four years. I had children and my life went. I lived for, you know, what everybody expected of me. Go get your college degree, be a house mom, do your thing. And so I wasn't really happy until I found kind of my place in life when I was 40 years old. Kind of everything turned around. And now I think I'm I think I think I've been taken to my destiny,

but it put me through some obstacles to get me here that was for sure so there you go so you do coaching you help people you do work in your business tell us how i mean what was the crossover that you went from you went from housewife into you know the adult industry so i mean i was brought up in front of a really really good family i have great parents and everything but um just like I think most parents and most families, you know, sex wasn't, it wasn't openly discussed. You didn't discuss nudity. You didn't discuss masturbation, puberty, orgasms, anything like that. And so, you know, it was just like everything was on the down low. And I got married and I had a husband and I, I think I was 30 years old when I had my first orgasm.

And I was like, oh, now I get why you like this. Like I just, that was for me, it was a chore. It was like, okay, I got to have sex with him, you know? And so from, I know that's terrible. I know. I'm sorry. He's a good man. He's your wife, I know.

He's a good father. He's a good man. But, you know, that took me. And then when I came back, when we lived in Sweden, I came back from Sweden. And I was very, I was coaching ice skating in Sweden. And I was very over the politics of the sport. And so when I came back to California, I opened up a mobile fitness company for children. And then when the housing market hit in 2008 was kind of when everything changed, my husband came to me at the time and

he said, you know, how's your fitness company doing? And I said, not good. And you know that. And he says, well, women sell their underwear online. And'm like no they don't and why why are you looking at that you know and then he went to work and i was like do they really and so i looked online and sure i started a business in a day i went down to ross i bought underwear i took pictures posted on craigslist buy my wet panties and here we are you know we had we had uh um we were talking before the show and we had Eric Everhart as a friend. I made friends with him and a couple other porn stars on, during COVID. And they were on Clubhouse. I don't know if you have heard of that.

Yeah. But it was a big app during COVID because everyone was locked down and they couldn't have a social life. So we were all talking to each other on these, on these virtual stages on clubhouse. Well, I ended up meeting Eric Everhard and I can't remember the other names of some of the other people that were there, but they were coming on. They were like yourself.

They have books. They coach people on how to do things better in the bedroom, which we all need. And there's some of you who need it more than others. Let me tell you. Oh, my God. Yeah, you can't just lay there. I mean, you can, but it's not as fun.

You're doing it wrong. Anyway, so, and Coraline will help you with that. But, you know, and it's supposed to last longer than 15 seconds. That's all I'm saying. Oh, my God. last longer than 15 seconds. That's all I'm saying. Oh my God. It depends on the mood. It's all I'm saying, man. And I guess married people do have to hit and run.

Um, so, uh, which is why I've never been married. Um, but, uh, you know, so I, I met them and one of the gals, I believe her name is Pauline. I don't know if that, I'm pretty sure that wasn't her stage name. She was, they were, you know, know these are human beings they're wonderful people and uh but she told us once about how she'd been a porn star for a number of years and then her one of her friends started selling panties and this is this is a thing that people want and we're going to talk about sex because that's a human thing and uh but she started so she asked her friend how much money she was making and she told this whole story on clubhouse it's crazy and she gave us a detail

like on the numbers and like we had women in the audience going hey how do you do this again six thousand dollars a month what yep it's crazy and uh yeah it was like all the moral all the moralness of some of the women went right out the window and they were like, they were like, I can get what for this? I mean, I'd sell my underwear if someone would buy it. That's kind of what happened to me. You know, I started with that and I started with that and then I started modeling just like for part-time work.

And the modeling led to a photographer saying to me, do you know anybody that owns like a nightclub that we can take photos in during the day? And I'm like, I don't know anybody. And I looked online on Facebook and a friend of mine said, our friend from high school owns somewhere down in San Diego. And I was like, all right, I'll call him. And when we pulled up, I said to my photographer, I said, I did not know that this was a gentleman's club. I'm so, so sorry. And he's like, we didn't know. And he's like, are you okay with that? And I go, I think so. And we went in and, you know, my photographer was like, okay, climb on the pole. And I was like, wait a second. second i was an ice skater i've never climbed on one of those things before and so my

friend from high school said well let me call in a dancer to help you and when he was she was she would put me in position she'd step away they'd take a photograph and then he should catch me again and bring me back down and um my high school friend came out he was the owner and he says so yeah he says on a break to me he says you know honey you should dance here and i'm like um i'm 35 years old okay i don't don't don't even know how to dance on a stripper pole and he says you'll make about eight hundred dollars a day if you want to do it three days a week you know 12 to 5 during the day and i went and how do i sign up and then where do i go for this yeah exactly so that's how it is well you know panties to modeling to to that to uh dancing out a club out at a club in a

palm desert area called Coachella. It was a club out there. To the owner or the manager of that club coming to me and saying, hey, I heard that you do weddings and that you used to dabble in the swinger lifestyle. I said, well, my husband and I tried it. We broke up our marriage but we tried it. He says, well, would you like

to host a swingers party here? Again, I'm like, I don't know anything about hosting a swingers party. He's like, well, my boss is willing to invest $50,000 in someone. I said, well, would you like to host a swingers party here? Again, I'm like, I don't know anything about hosting a swingers party. And he's like, well, my boss is willing to invest $50,000 in someone. And I said, I can figure that out. And so that's the nether curve ball that I took, which took to running a swingers club. And then now I have 20,000 members. And then everything just kind of like all these like things happen. And the coaching came from people at my swingers club would always pull me aside and say, he did this or I have this problem. And so people would say to me, you spent half of your life not being a hostess at your parties, but counseling people. Why don't you open up your own like coaching business and lifestyle

coaching business? So that's how that came about. So do you help people be better in the bedroom? I do. I do. I wouldn't say that I help you be better in the bedroom. I do now because I went and I got certified as a master sexologist. But originally it started as people enter the lifestyle swingers community for a variety of reasons. And there's so many different misconceptions about it out there, you know, where people think that it's, you know, a husband, a wife or a boyfriend or girlfriend show up and it's a free for all. And they bring it. I always say this. They ring a bell and they go, OK, you guys, 11 o'clock. Penis is out.

Vagina is open. Let's get started. And I'm like, that's not what it is, you know, and it's about my house. Oh, there you go. I'm coming over on a friday then okay so um but they you know i love this i love his story but um it's like you know um there's some people that just go to it because maybe it's a husband and wife that are just looking to add excitement to their marriage and maybe they just want to watch they're a voyeur they want to be watched they've never ever ever you know had sex in front of other people or they're looking for that illicit unicorn

or they're... They never have sex with each other in front of each other. Or with the lights on or the lights off. Or, you know, with the lights on. Right. Embarrassed of their bodies. That's what I do. I help people.

I help people bring that excitement back, like embracing their sexuality and being, you know, proud of who they are. And also, there's so many people that have kinks and fetishes out there that they're so embarrassed to share with their partner. And so they wait until their partner goes to bed, and then they jump on to do a webcam show with me, someone like that. And they call – I work for Dr. Susie's Institute.

So the Susan Block Institute. So I work for her, and I'm a therapist for her. And it breaks my heart when people call me and they say, okay, well, I need to talk to you now. Oh, wait, my wife just walked in. I'll call you back. back and i'm like why don't we bring your wife on and let's let's talk about it yeah so you know let's talk a little bit about this because i know people right now might be going i don't know about this but it turns me on um you know the thing is the thing i grew up in a highly religious environment so i grew up when there's repressive things in fact i

think uh my parents tried to explain sex to me and it was nothing what it what it was like the diagrams and stuff were i don't even think i got that yeah yeah i grew up jewish like so you know jewish school private jewish school and everything but i don't even remember like even to the discussion yeah i mean i pretty much had to learn sex from my catholic preacher no i'm just kidding that's a joke i'm an atheist so we throw hey they earned it man um so you know you don't do that stuff and not get eros on you but no a lot of people grew up in in america is kind of a prudish very morally religious thing and the sad part is is biology wise. Sex is a very natural human thing. I mean, we wouldn't all be here if, if somebody, you know, didn't rub uglies. And healthy.

Yeah. That's what people forget. The benefits of sex. If there's so many, if you don't, there's so many, like, yeah, there's a lot of health benefits to that being sex, having sex safely, safely. I'm a safe sex advocate. There you go. And, and also just happiness like you know i've never been

married because i enjoy sex that's the joke but there's a lot seems to be a lot of truth to it according to husbands i know and uh you know for me relationships over when that thing dies but then i kind of also understand what it's like to be an alpha male and keep that thing from dying. I make a lot of alpha widows. You know, I used to own a modeling agency for almost a decade in the 90s. And one of my friends is Ron Weiss from Hawaiian Tropic. I think some of my audience knows about this over 13 years. And so we had a lot of girls who got into modeling at 18. And then from there, they tend to go into different things like escorting or stripping or, you know, sometimes they go to

New York. Sometimes they end up, you know, in Playboy Mansion. You know, I lived that kind of lifestyle, the Hugh Hefner of Utah lifestyle. And so I saw a lot of these different variations. It became where I had friends who owned strip clubs. I think there's an honor plaque of my name at Spirit Rhinos in Las Vegas. Cool. Yeah, it's probably an honor. He's come here more than once. But no, sex is a very natural thing and it's an important thing.

And if you have a relationship, it's an important thing to the health of your relationship. Because if you're not having sex with each other in your marriage, well then who are you having sex with? We live in such a, we live in a country that's so, you know, we get in such a monotone, you know,

routine of life. So, you know, you get up, you take the kids to school, you got your breakfast, you go to work, you sit in your traffic,

you commute, you come home, you do the dinner, the laundry, the cleaning, and before you know it, you're going to bed. So, you know, we forget that. That's why, you go to work, you sit in your traffic, you commute, you come home, you do the dinner, the laundry, the cleaning, and before you know it, you're going to bed. So, you know, we forget that that's why, you know, we're one of the countries that has the most heart attacks and early deaths and high stress. Yeah. And we eat like shit. We eat crab, we process food like crazy. And so,

you know, that's, it really made me, because I mean, I was in that, I was, all right, well, my Olympic dream is over. Okay, I'll get married. I'll move to Sweden with you. Okay, this is boring. And I was bored out of my mind. He would go to work. He'd come home and he's like, really? You're still in your pajamas?

And I'm like, and where would you like me to go in the snow today? And where would you like me to go? To the tiny little town of nothing? There's a moose on the corner and a good-looking mani down the road. And you've got to wait for that moose to cross the road. That's the deal in that country. You have to wait. Oh,ose to cross the road. That's the deal in that state, in that country. You have to wait. If you pull up and they cross and they're slow and they sit and they just

got to sit there and wait for them. You have nowhere else to go anyway. So it's fine. Wow. Really, really bashing Canada. I love Canada. I love Sweden. When I look back on it, I go, I should have just stayed there.

Life was a hell of a lot easier because I came back here. But, um, you know, it gave me the opportunity to really start real light, like, um, digging deeper into like, why did I not have an orgasm until I was 30? And, and did I, I, all that time I thought I was having an orgasm, you know, when I lost my virginity, I was like, Oh, and I never understood. I was like, I don't understand like why this is such a big deal. This is a nightmare, you know? And I finally just figured it out. And then the more and more that I studied into it and the fetishes and the kinks, that's why I got the sexology master's because I wanted to understand when gentlemen called me or women. I get women, too, that call me and share these kinks. And I go, hmm, I'm going to figure out that one.

Like, well, I'm not sure of that one yet. You know, like, why you're obsessed with having sex with dead people. Like, I got to figure that out. So know it's weird it's really weird like there's i mean it's it's illegal too oh yeah that too but that's what i'm saying you know so instead of going instead of me going it's weird i go let me see where that came from and why did that come you know and what's the reasoning behind it or what's the foot fetish reasoning or the diaper fetish or there's just so many different you know why there's a foot fetish can you explain that to me what well i i can tell you what the studies say i disagree with it i don't think this is it the studies say and i've

interviewed people that are coming on my podcast to share with me they they're comfortable to share their fetish okay so the studies say that as we were babies and we're on the floor and people are walking around our home barefoot, we become obsessed with the feet. I don't think so. That's not, that's what the studies say. I disagree. I don't see myself being, I see more the high heel fetish, the leg fetish. I can see where that comes from.

Yeah, I think legs are sexy, especially in a pair of high heels. And I don't mean to shame anybody, but it is good for a bit of a comedic knocking. So if you are a foot fetish person, please don't feel shamed. Although, I don't know, I'll do a joke on it. So I had this gal who worked for me, and we had 5,000 square feet of office space, and it was separated by two or three different areas. And I knew, you know, I'd heard of foot fetish, but she would have to go outside into an open-air hallway outside to move to the three different offices.

And she would be barefoot all day long, and her feet were nasty. One day over lunch, she started telling us about how her husband had a foot fetish. And we're like, you walk around the office all day barefoot. Oh, I know where this is going. Does he clean your feet? And she's like, yeah, he likes it. And, you know, I, I mean, like I say, once again, if that's your, is that your kink? God bless you.

It's just, I can't, what I can't figure out is there's, there's all these other parts of a woman that are like a carnival fun, fun zone. Like, why would you be like, yeah, that stuff go, uh, just stick with the feet. I think also, I know, I know. I mean, yeah, isn't that, I can see you guys. I knew you were going there, but like the foot thing, it's more of a, um, see what it's a submissive to your partner. So it's taking, rubbing her feet, cleaning her feet, licking her feet, you know, um, pampering them manicures, you know, pedicures, sorry, stuff like that, you know? Um, and that's also part of it.

But I do get, I do get, I get men on the like webcam shows that go, Coraline, I just, the stinkier the feet that are your feet really stinky. And you want to be like, no, like I'm clean, but you're like, oh yeah, honey, they are so, they stink. Yeah. You know, because that's what they want. Yeah, sure. They serve your audience. I mean, that's what they want yeah sure they serve your audience i

mean that's what we do on this show we stink and they love it uh but uh no it actually makes sense come to think of it you know between jesus and you know old roman empires and stuff cleaning of feet was a sign of i think caring or loving someone yes exactly go back to that think about that jesus was jesus had a foot fetish, damn it. Anyway, wow. No wonder I'm an atheist. It's very interesting. Anyway, guys, we just discovered something on this show.

But no, sex is really important. And I was really lucky that very early on in my 20s, you know, I was your average teenage boy and very quick on the action there. And somewhere in my 18, 19, 20th year, a friend of mine gave me a book, and it was like 365 positions of the year. And I was like, this is a bit much, but, you know, I mean, it's like throwing someone an expert, man, when you're in beginner mode. But it made me start realizing oh what is this thing about satisfying my partner what's this thing about making sure everyone's happy and sort of act we're doing and uh and then i got interested in that and and everything else and you know making sure that my partner is at reaches her completion multiple times and uh has that big

finale and that made for better relationships, made my girlfriend happy, which is a man. You want to make your woman happy because if she's not happy, things don't usually go well. And she's, yeah, yeah. Happy wife, happy life. Yep. Yeah.

And so I recommend husbands and I've told my husband, I posted this on Facebook, go get a bedroom book or, you know, hire a coach like yourself to make sure that you're happy. I'll never forget, and I'll quit pontificating, but I'm laying foundation for my audience to realize that this is important stuff, guys. We're not just talking about, oh, the stuff you do at night when you're on the computer. You want to have a healthy relationship with sex. I remember being 28 and I gave a gal that I had just barely met, started dating her first orgasm she'd ever had in her whole life. And I think she was about 25 and she sat on the bed crying, just like sobbing. And I thought I'd done something wrong. Like it hurt

her or something. And I go, what's, you know, what's going on? Are you okay? And she was, I mean, it was like that death sobbing, you know, that shaking and, and she's like, you gave me my first orgasm ever had. No man's ever going to be an orgasm. And I, it shocked me because I live kind of in a different world. And I was like, are you serious? You're 25. Yeah. But it's because you don't you know you don't know i mean when i lost my virginity um 18 or 19 i think but i i had a female ejaculation we call it squirting okay i thought that was an orgasm so that was it so and and there was no there was no internet at the time you know so my boyfriend he was uh you know in the in the fraternity next door and he's like you peed on me you're disgusting you told all the guys in the house. So embarrassed.

And I went down to the San Diego state library and I went to the water to go look, you know, where you put the little things in and you look it up and I saw that 10% of women have female diet. And I went back to him and I go, ha, you're lucky. Look at this. And I showed him, you know, and that's what I thought was an orgasm. And for me, I was like, well, okay, you know, this is it, you know? And so up until the age of 30, to me that was an orgasm and it wasn't anything that I craved. It was like, Oh my God, you know, this is it, you know? And so up until the age of 30, to me, that was an orgasm.

And it wasn't anything that I craved. It was like, oh my God, I need to have it, you know? Isn't it insane how few women have orgasms? Yeah, I think more now because you're more open to experience it. The thing with squirting is that technically, almost any woman can do it, but it's a feeling of like you have to urinate and so you hold it back and you don't realize you know and then when i tell people i mean i work for a company i work for a gentleman at the avians um so it's uh he's a biological scientist and it's a watch that developed he developed a watch with another adult performer measuring the uh frequency

and velocity that you finger a woman out to make her have a female ejaculation and the watch turns green as you like go like this anyways um yeah it's i have one but my arm gets tired i'm always like it's so tired i'm tired but um you know what a man feels like but i've watched it damn g spot i've watched him like take woman who say like there's no way i can't do it and i'm like he'll make you squirt and they're like he won't make me squirt. And I'm like, he will, I'll go with you. And I'll show you. And he does, you know, and women go, Oh, my God, that's what it is. Oh, I like it now. You know, so you just have to embrace your sexuality, you have to, who cares if people are going to judge you. That's my biggest thing. You know, my biggest thing is the judgment in our country. And you know, and how masturbation is terrible, nudity is terrible and role play is terrible.

And how dare you consider even having another person in the bedroom with you? Three of you? That's disgusting. It's the fact of the matter is everybody's got that fetish or fantasy, whatever it may be, and embrace it, try it. If you don't like somebody's fetish, then it's none of your business. It's not your body. Then stay out of it. It's sad that in this country we have that moral hang-up. The other thing to me was, and I think I had this fear as, you know, a boyfriend, as a man.

I'm like, you know, if I don't make her happy in the bedroom, she's probably going to leave me. So, you know, that's another reason. And I don't understand. I guess a lot of married people can just be like, well, I'm married to her. So, you know, how do I make her happy? Well, we call it the, yeah, the married situation. I call it the I should have, would have, could have syndrome. You know, that is, I can't tell you how many times in my life I talked to somebody who's older now and

they say to me, you know, I should have left that relationship sooner, but you know, I, there was kids and I stayed for the kids or I hated, I hated my job. I should have left that sooner, but you know, and how, I mean, I have, I have friends that are, he's like 72 years old and they're like, you know, going through a divorce after 42 years and they go, Coraline, do I swipe left or right on Tinder? Like, what do I do? Oh, Tinder, not on Tinder. I'm like, Tinder. And I'm like, don't, you don't even go on Tinder. No, no, no, no, no. That's not for you. Because imagine trying to get back into the dating world now after being married for 42 years. You know, that's like, what, what has gone, what's happened? Right. Yeah. I see a lot of that in my dating pool. Everything's online, you know, but that's

it. I mean, you know, it's, um, it's, you know, I just, I meet people so many times they go i should have gotten out of that marriage i should and so i try to encourage people if you're not happy and you're not willing to you haven't discussed this with your partner you're going to be in that category of 72 years old and starting all over again do you want to be there yeah and you you want to have i mean to me what I've learned just from a psychology sense, a love sense, you know, everything about it is very natural and important and healthy. You know, I've seen, you know, psychologists talk about how having regular sex with your partner is a very important part of it. And to me, if you're going to raise kids, if you're going to be happy in your marriage, you're going to be happy in your relationship. You know, making a woman happy is really important. She's going to make you happy. I mean, it's kind of when you're going to raise kids, if you're going to be happy in your marriage, you're going to be happy in your relationship. You know, making a woman happy is really important. She's going to make you happy.

I mean, it's kind of when you're both there, you're trying to rub the uglies and make each other happy for, you know, half an hour, hour, two hours. Well, you also have to put like a twist on it. So role play, date night. Make time for date night. Do something that your partner would never expect for you. Put something in there when they pack a lunch. Put something in that lunchbox. Things that you would do for your kids, like have a good day at school, baby. Mommy loves you.

Do it for your husband. Do it for your partner. Exactly. Go to the office early and leave something on the desk, like a pair of panties that are sitting in the drawer and be like, I'll be waiting for you when you get home. Random stuff like that just goes, holy crap like there's a little bit of excitement like oh my god what's she gonna do when i get home tonight like i'm going home early you know what is it so and people that are regularly you know in the bedroom let's put it that way and and passing out from cold sweats and too many too many uh shaking organs um you know they're

happier they love you more they're wonderful to be around. Trust me, I'm 54. There's a reason I'm not married and I have a good sex life is because I can't do a relationship if there's no sex. Once the sex drops off in a relationship, in my early years, sometimes I didn't understand the alpha thing that I was doing and I get a little beta-tized. But, you know, I understand the whole dynamic of it now, but even then I've never met a girlfriend that I can't have. There might be one or two that I met that haven't had that can orgasm, multiple orgasm. And even then I just didn't work with them long enough to where, you know, uh, you can, you can get it done, but yeah, it's, it's, uh, it's really

important. It'll make your life better so i highly recommend this this is the whole reason i'm talking about this show it's because i want people to know this this can really make everyone's life better it'll make your your children be happier because both the parents are happier yeah right and then there's there's people you know that you know it's okay to say to your partner you know your wife or husband hey let's let's go well now you're not going to talk to a therapist like let's go talk to a sex coach and let's get some ideas to bring some excitement and some kink back or whatever. But a lot of people are too scared to discuss,

like, oh, I can't tell my wife that I like to do this or I like to do that or I can't tell my husband that this turns me on. I mean, I get women that call me that they like to take on that submissive role. Okay, so be told, get on your knees and please me when I come through the door or spank. But they don't want to do that with their husband because they

don't want them to him to think, oh, you're, you do this with everybody or whatever it may be, you know? And so I think it all comes down to, you know, be open and honest with your partner first. Yeah. But I know so many people are so scared. Oh no. Isn't it amazing that people can't be honest with their partners, their boss at work, everybody else on the planet, but that person you're spending

your life with. Yes. It drives me crazy because, you know, and I say, how come you can tell me, but you can't tell them? Well, because you're a stranger over the phone. You know, we don't, you don't see, I can't see you. I don't know what you look like. And I'm like, okay, I won't tell you my full name then.

Cause then you'll go find me. But, um, it's true. But, um, um, you know, to me, and then also like the masturbation thing, Do you know how many people come to me and they go, I haven't masturbated in six days. If she catches me masturbating and I'm like, what? What? Like, you're supposed to masturbate at least two times a day. It's supposed to help with, you know, preventing prostate cancer. Masturbate.

Please, God, masturbate. Just don't do what Jeffrey Dubin does on a Zoom call at CNN. That joke. There's a time and a place for everything that poor guy yeah um so uh you know in one of the industries that i got into i didn't get into let's put it that way i stepped right into that didn't i i kind of got into it and i'll tell you how uh because i think the story is funny and enlightening but so you know i got friends with someone who started a swingers website back in the day. Okay. And one of my other friends, you probably do, but since you do,

you have your site, I won't mention it. But so they started a site and, you know, I had all these friends with money, all these friends with money at the time. We're all filthy rich. And so we're all in all these businesses. One of my real estate business, he was buying real estate and flipping it. And so he had bought in this 1960s-styled mansion, which is a lot like the Playboy mansion. Okay.

Because it was shag rug. It was like bright red shag rug. And the whole place was like 24 rooms, Olympic-sized pool, 20 people you can get in the hot tub. Perfect party house. It sounds amazing. Where's it at it was in utah and i guess one of the old university of utah coaches had it back in the day and this thing i mean seriously it was like the second home to to hugh hefner with all the shag in the 70s it was

just it was so dark you know with all the dark wood and all that stuff i'll never forget the red shag so um my friend was unhappy his marriage and my you know, with all the dark wood and all that stuff. I'll never forget the red shag. So, um, my friend was unhappy as marriage and my, you know, he knew my other friend who has a swinger thing and I, you know, my friends are on strip clubs. And, um, so he, they started throwing swing, swinger parties up at the mansion and they would do the thing. I'm sure you're familiar with the business where they have couples come up. And of course, a lot of women strippers like to, to play with that. And, you know, and so I would get to go to the things and kind of sit there as a fly in the wall and go and go, well, this is interesting. And I would help my friend manage and run it. I was there kind of as I was working.

Yeah. That's what all the men say. I was volunteering and working. Oh, wow. So, but one of my friends was the lawyer. So we always had lawyers on scene. And he was a... There you go. So he was a lawyer who

took in... I can give you a sec to fix that if you want. Okay, well, I'll stand up and fix that. You keep talking. I can hear you. Now you guys just get my hump day butt. Okay. Do we have to pay extra for this? No, but it's free.

It's for this time it's on the house. Right? So my friend, we always had a lawyer on scene because the Utah cops would always show up. They showed up at my big parties. I'd have like 400 people at my parties in Utah. And they would show up and me and my lawyer friend would stand on the porch and, uh, you know, I just be a body man cause I'm a big guy. And, uh, my lawyer friend would, you know, tell him to F off and give him the riot act cause he was an attorney and he was a very

evil attorney. Like he was one of those guys, you know, the Donald Trump hires the Michael Cohen. Oh gosh. I talked to him about getting on the show and he was starting his own podcast. So he decided not to come on cause he wanted to do his own podcast, but, uh, he was an evil attorney. So anyway,

I saw, I saw the whole lifestyle. It's a healthy lifestyle for people. They, they do it the right way. Yeah. There's, there's rules,

there's rules and there's etiquette and, there's reasons to get into it and the reasons not to get into it. And that's another thing that I do is, you know, when somebody shows up at my party, I can look at my door guy and I go, I give him like three months and he's like, I give him six and I go,

I'll put 2 million on it. I'll give, you know, and he always comes to me. You should have him on the show. He always comes to me and he goes, damn it. She's always right.

She's like nails it with how many, how long they give him. And I can say, who's going to be, I can say, they'll be divorced. That one's going how long they give them. I can say, they'll be divorced. That one's going to leave for that one. I can point it out. Dude, I would have been... I'd love

to sit there and hang out because I used to bet... We used to bet on employees. We'll be like, that employee's only going to last a month, my business partner. We bet a dollar like they did in that one movie, Denny Murphy and stuff. But no, we saw the lifestyle. I saw the website my friend had built. Where's that mansion now?

It's still in Utah, I'm sure. I'm sure it's still there. Who owns that? I don't know. I have to go look it up. But I know exactly where it is. I remember the street. We used to do a thing where you'd have to go up the neighborhood and you couldn't have like 50 billion cars because that would give it away okay so my friend's own real estate uh property commercial real estate and then my other friend on a giant tour bus okay so park there settle them in yeah yeah and you have to sign the waiver and all that shit for liability falling and you know but it was it was an interesting thing but i realized that you know people have and you

know this and and people should know this people have have a lot of different sexual proletivities. Yeah, they have different desires. Let's put it that way. And it's okay. You know, as long as it's always consensual, there's safety, like you mentioned, a condom, and they're over 18. Yeah, and also it's, you know, I always say this too, is that, like the, at the events, you know, you don't, sometimes you don't know what your, what your kink is, right. Or what your fetish is or what you want to get out of this like lifestyle swinger experience. And then you might say, oh, we've always wanted to try a threesome me and my wife, you know, we've always wanted to have another woman. And then you have that and you go, eh, didn't like that. You know, like when I say when fantasy reads reality, it's not what you always expect. Not always what you expect. It's okay to say to your partner, you know, eh, I didn't really like that one.

Sometimes it's better to keep in your head. Totally. A lot of times my favorite is when men want to have that threesome with another woman and then they go, crap, the women are not bisexual. So I had to take care of both of them at the same time. And I'm like, uh-huh. How's that for you? You're probably not making the first woman happy anyway. Why would you want to add to that mix? It's a joke. Oh, my gosh.

I love it. No, I mean, like, seriously. I mean, I've dated twins. I did the whole Hugh Hefner lifestyle. Wait, did the twins play with you together? You and both twins? That's a new one, you guys, for me. Is it?

Is it new? Yeah, I've never seen two. I've never had two sisters play with one guy at the same time. Well, I hope. Did they play with you? Wow. It was a little bit more than playing. Let's put that.

We say play. We say play. So when you own a modeling agency, I was friends with Ron Rice of Hawaiian Tropic. So we would be like a state thing for Hawaiian Tropic to hold their contests. And so we had 400 of the hottest women in Utah. It was an actor agency, too, and there was a lot of filming that would go on in Utah. It was right after the big strike in California. It touched my angel.

Who would have thought Utah? Yeah, who would have thought? Well, you know, those religious girls are more. Can't get alcohol on certain days. Yeah, those religious girls are more so. Can't get alcohol on certain days. Yeah. Those, those religious girls are not quite as chaste as you think they are. Exactly. The more religious they are, the more interesting.

But so we would, we would do all that. But no, I just, it's just really important for people to realize that, you know, sex is a healthy thing and you want to make your partner happy. So talk to us about maybe some coaching that you do and some other aspects on top of the book. Yeah, so I do a couple different things. So the one thing I do is a lot of people that I talk to will write me and tell me they're interested in getting involved in the adult industry.

And that can be on a number of variations of aspects. Where do I write you for that? Or where does my friend write you for that? So everything just goes to the, what is it? CJ at thecorlandjewel.com. That's how you email me. Let me write that down. Hang on for a second.

Right, exactly. So, but that can be anybody who's a producer or somebody who wants to open up a website, someone who's got the funds to invest. They've got an idea, a script. So it's not just performers, okay? So there's so many different legalities and they're changing every single day.

The paperwork and the rules with merchant account processing and Visa and MasterCard and Pornhub and this and that, there's so many different things that you need to know. So they'll come to someone like me and they'll say, listen, this is my idea. This is my financial backing. This is what I could do, but I don't know where to start and I want to make sure I cover my bases. So I offer that kind of coaching. And then I offer coaching for the lifestyle, which is either couples or singles, okay, who either are involved in the lifestyle, getting into the lifestyle, or having issues in the lifestyle and want to find out how they can fix that. So they come to me. We have a consultation.

And then I say, listen, I can't help you, but I think this person can, or I can help you, and this is how I can help you in this and I can help you. I really feel that I can't help anybody that's going through alcohol addiction or sobriety or drug addiction or they're going through rehab or they've been sexually molested. I don't feel like I'm qualified if I haven't walked in your shoes. Does that make sense? And where something like this, you know, I'm divorced because of the lifestyle. My husband and I lost a 14 year marriage because of it. And people say, why on earth would you stay in it and run a club? What are you thinking? You know, and I say, because it's open-mindedness.

You can wear what you want, say what you want, be who you want, and there's not supposed to be judgment. Now, there is judgment. People are catty. You know, there's high school judgment in everything. When you're, you know, 56 years old, they still talk shit. But, you know, it's true. But, you know, it is an environment where there's more open-mindedness to accepting people. And that's why I stayed into the community.

And that's why I create my communities different from other communities. I don't judge you on your age or your nationality or if you're 6 feet and 400 pounds or if you're 5 feet. I don't care. You know, are you a cool person? Are you open-minded? Are you willing to embrace your sexuality? Then you're welcome to my club. Be respectful to others.

Be respectful to yourself. And you're welcome to my club be respectful to others be respectful to yourself and you're welcome yeah what else do you consult on i think you you kind of uh mentioned a few other things there that you do um so it was yeah so the adults of the adult industry then consulting and then um in the lifestyle how to get into it how to be safe into it and then i also help with people with just dating in general let me look at your dating profile okay this is why you're not getting any action you do it for men and women men and women yes yes yes i have women that are like what am i doing wrong i'm you know i got divorced and i and i'm like okay the first thing okay so guys we all know that we love our children this is a big one we love our kids okay i love my kids okay i'm the mother i'm the mother you screw with me whatever you screw with my children you screw my children you better go you better run because i'm gonna come i'll find

you okay then that's me but that doesn't mean that my dating profile says my children are number one in the world and you don't matter and they come before okay yeah and that's i hate that yeah you see what i'm saying and you and what do you do if you're on a dating site and you see that? Oh, that's a left swipe. You go skip, right? That's a left swipe, man. Yeah. Or another one. I love my, you know, they love their fur babies. Okay.

I love dogs. I'm a dog. Ask people. I walk into a bar and I'm on the floor playing with a dog before I'm even greeting anybody else to say hello. What party are you going to where there are dogs? Oh, there's always dogs. I go to like little like a hit bar.

It's true. The pit bulls come running to me. They love me. But you don't. Yeah. Oh, yeah's always dogs. I go to little hit bars. It's true. The pit bulls come running to me. They love me. But you don't – yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I have videos. Sorry, my friend the other day. But you don't tell somebody that you might potentially date on a dating site, and my furball comes everywhere with me.

And then if you don't like it, then you – okay, shh, relax. You can bring your dog, but just let them know you first. So these are the things that I look at, and I go, okay, let's fix this. Let's fix this. And let's remove this picture. Something like that. So, yeah. Can you explain to me?

Cause I, you know, I'm 54. I'm still on dating profiles. Why are women posting their children? I mean, the one thing I know about single mothers is there's a 1500% higher chance of them being attacked by a sexual predator or violence uh and you're just advertising for pedos like it just creeps me out to see the men do it too though like if you go on plenty really yeah well like if yeah like when i used to go on plenty of fish the men will will have a picture of their children on there and i'm like really yeah i'm like don't these are your don't put your kids on a dating site like on the swinger plenty of fish. The men will have a picture of their children on there. Really?

Don't put your kids on a dating site. On the Swinger websites, you can't even post a picture. Even if I said, happy holidays from me and my family to my community, I can't put a picture of my kids on there. I don't even put my kids on my Facebook, my other Facebook site. Just don't do that. Keep your kids out of your dating pictures.

I personally say keep your fur babies out of your pictures too. Really? Oh, that's true. I'm not looking to date your dog. I mean, I like dogs. Don't get me wrong. But I want to know who you are first. At one point, I put my dogs on.

I think I took them down. I mean, I put a camel on. I was riding a camel. Oh, well, as long as that's not a pet. Of course, there might be some people there into that. There you go. But no, I see that. It just makes me cringe because, you know, I've actually had women on the show over the years of the podcast that talked about stalkers.

And I know about the dark ends of the internet. And there was that case in Wyoming where a guy escaped from Chicago as a pedo. He finds a young girl just in her bathing suit up front, and all the horror begins. It makes you sick. And so I'm like, why would you put your children – I mean, are you advertising for a pedo or are you advertising for a boyfriend? And here's another thing that I talk about, too. Just safety in general for men and women. And, you know, all the catfishing.

I had some interesting guests on my podcast. A gentleman that is a part of my club. Okay. So he's a part of my club. He's a retired police officer. Okay. And he was telling me a story about how he was on this website. And they told him, you know, send in your money to get tested for your STDs

so that when you arrive at the party, the doctor will be there on site to test you. Yeah, right. And you'll have your results within the next 15 minutes. Okay, sure. And then you could go in and whatever. And then there was a gentleman that had written me and said, hey, do you ever have like single men on your podcast

who can share stories of catfishing that happened to him? Because this was one time I was, and I go, wait a second. second i heard that story over here so i brought the two on the show together and they were catfished by the same person the same woman's name everything and the one guy was scammed out of almost two thousand dollars the attorney the police officer he caught on a little bit quicker and i think he wasn't scammed out of any money he never sent money but um you know it happens on both ends so we talk about um even couples meeting other couples on a swinger site you don't meet another couple and then just show up in a hotel room that might not be a couple that could be three men ready to rob you you don't know what

it is so you know of course three men robbing you might be a kink too so there's that there's one for everything there's a kink website for everything. There is. But, you know, keep your safety. Do your FaceTime. You do. And then, you know, things within the community to protect that your, you know, your marriage doesn't end because of the lifestyle, such as group conversations, always staying on, you know, a kick, like a WhatsApp or kick where all four of you are talking together and you're not, husband's not talking to the wife or the other person and meeting for coffee and vacationing and stuff like that. So there's rules and etiquette. Yeah. And having rules is really important. That's what I learned from my swinger friends. You know, they, they have rules of, you know, it's, it's, it's kind of, it's about sex, but we don't have a relationship with her. Uh, you know, we don't bring, there's a,

there's the marriage wall, I guess. Right. So we call it, there's, yeah, so there's, you know, there's sex and then there's emotion. Um, and so what happened with my husband and I, as a perfect example is, you know, we were new, there was no, I didn't know who to go to for advice. It wasn't like I could say to my friends, you know, Hey, um, so, so my husband and I are swinging right now. Can you help me out? You know, my friends used to say to me, your husband and her, they have like a connection. And I'm like, Oh no, we're just friends. And then I'd go to my husband and I'm like, stop making googly eyes, the preschool moms can tell, you know, and so it's true. And that's how it happened. And so but look at that women's intuition, they were right,

because I would say to him, I'd say, Do you have like an emotional connection? Like with her? Like, are you meeting her? Like, when we're not all together? You're crazy. You're jumping to conclusions. And I'm like, Am I? And guess what guess what i wasn't crazy because they were communicating and meeting for coffee and meeting for breakfast and and i was being told you know i have to go to work early i'm going to be at work late you see so that's another thing i tell people trust your gut when your tuition when just when something in a woman's tuition says something's not right something's not right yeah and this is really important this is why i don't get married people i'm like you know you marry that person they're supposed to be your person there's the one which is bullshit but uh i don't believe in a in a one

in a one yeah fuck disney um so i'll probably get me demonetized just that alone he's gonna be like he said what send the mouse to kill him uh so the murderous mickey mouse that should be a new thing uh so but you know, I just don't understand how people can't be honest with their friend. I mean, if there's any, if there, if there's one person who should know what your favorite thing to do is in bed or how to make you happy or bring you to completion, it should be your partner. Yeah. And, uh, you know, in, in, it's so much easier when you're not, you know, I've had friends that have run marriages and whether their partner is aware of it, sometimes it's approved. You know, they've got extracurricular stuff going on.

It's a lot to manage. It's a lot of damn work. Like some of my swinger friends, like I'm not trying to shame them, but it ends up being a bit of work. You know, I see friends that have to go to swagger clubs every night. Well, I tell people, you know, another thing about like the swagger lifestyle or, you know, the lifestyle in general, we call it the lifestyle, is you're using, you want to embark on this journey together as a couple, okay, to enhance, enhance your relationship with your partner. Don't live the lifestyle. Like, don't let the lifestyle live you. Live into the lifestyle.

So that's a big, very, you know. I used to have people that would walk into my parties and they would go like this. Nope, nobody. And I'd go, dude, you've been here like two minutes. Go get a drink. Okay, relax. You're not here just to see who's here to stick your thing in next to, you know. But that's it.

They're on the internet all the time, 24 hours a day looking for a couple, you know, who's the next piece of meat, you know, something like that. And I think that it takes over. You know, every weekend should not be a lifestyle event. There are people like that that are every single week. And I think that you've got to learn your balances. But be honest with your partner. If you try something and you go, hey, you know, honey, I wanted to try that, but that sucked. Okay?

So it sucked. Do you want to try it again a different way or is that no off the table now? So, yeah, I mean, you try different things and make your partner happy. Like, you know, I have so many friends that have been divorced. In fact, now I'm 54. Like when I go out with girls and they go, how many divorces do you have and how many kids do you have? And I'm like, zero and zero. I know you're like a blessing. I'm a unicorn. He's a blessing, you guys. I'm an alpha. Where do you live?

I'll be there. And, you know, they think I'm lying. They just go, you're full of shit. Like I've had girls on the second date, they'll grab my hands over dinner and they'll be like, they'll look at my eyes and they'll go, Chris, look at me. Look, I'm not going to judge you if you have kids and two divorces or three divorces. I'm not going to judge you. Just tell me.

It's okay. I care about you. I'm kind of getting feels for you, but just go ahead and tell us. And I'm like, no, I'm sorry. I've just been really responsible and I never got tired of being happy, so I never got married.

Oh my God. I love how you do that. Chris, Chris, look me in the eyes, Chris, be honest. I love it. They do that to me so many times, especially now it's gotten really bad because nobody, my age, you know, and, and, you know, I'm one of the few guys, my age, who isn't like tainted. Like I love all my exes. If I ever met them, I thank them. I, I, I understand as a man, I'm, I'm self-accountable. And a lot of times I made mistakes, they made mistakes.

They were there being their best people at the time. I tried my best at the time. It didn't work out, but I did learn a lot from them. And sometimes they were bad and I learned a lot from them. And sometimes I was bad and I learned a lot from both of us. But to me, I don't have any hatred. I don't have any child support payments and divorce. It's like I say,

I don't, you know, when I talk about my husband, you know, my ex-husband, by all means, like he lives a block away from me. He is a good man.

He really is. He's a good man. He's an amazing father. You know, he fucked up, you know, excuse my language, but it's like,

I tell people, you know, had we had somebody to guide us and say like, you know, Hey, listen, I really think that they're meeting, you know, like we had somebody to guide us and say like, you know, hey, listen, I really think that they're meeting, you know, there's an emotional connection there and had the guts to say, you know what, honey, you're right.

I do have an emotional connection with her. We need to stop seeing her. I think we might have still been married today, but we didn't have that communication. And it wasn't like we went into this lifestyle looking to add to our marriage because remember at that time I was happy, but I was selling panties and somebody wanted a custom video. That's how it all started. They were like, we do a video of like having sex with your husband. And I was like, I don't know, let me ask him. And then somebody videoed us and it didn't work because we were drunk. And my husband was like, that was hot having somebody in the room. And I was like, really? All right. And

that's how it started, you know, but, um, but you have to, you know, he's not, I don't, I look at him and I go, we could have been married. We said we would have still been married, but you need the guidance. You need to communicate with your partner. Yeah. And, and I mean, women are wonderful sexual beings. They're covered in erogenous zones. Men are not. I think we have like three and you guys have like 200 or something.

Um, I don't know if that's correct. Don't, don't, I'm not a scientist. I'm going to go and I have a couple hours to figure out. But you guys do. You guys have a couple hours to figure out but you guys do you guys have uh a ton more rogina stones i mean you you can't turn me on by rubbing my elbow unless you're uh i don't know you look like uh uh i'm trying to think of one of my 80s pinup stars who's on yeah carmen electra who i met in person or or who's the blonde who was on Baywatch? Those are my two things. Or Farrah Fawcett.

Who's the blonde? Why are we blanking on that one? She was on Baywatch. She was the huge star. She was dating the Motley Crue. Pamela Anderson. Those are my three ladies in my life. And Stevie Nicks. That's why I'm still single. I'm jarring in my head to all of them.

And Carmen Electra, meeting her in person is very sweet. We had her ex-husband on the show, the guitarist. But no, the point I'm trying to make, guys, is make your partner happy. Like I said, I knew all the divorce joke that I was setting up there about how I know everyone who's divorced. If I was married, I'd be like, I want to make her happy in the bedroom and I'll make sure I'm happy in the bedroom so that we can have a solid relationship because I know how expensive divorce is. I mean, I love her and I don't want her to divorce me. That's another thing that I tell people too, is that, um, you've got to establish that, that connection with your partner before you get involved in the lifestyle, um, and try

to get other people involved. So even like someone like me, I dated somebody for three years as a boy. You know, like we say, he's a vanilla. He's never been in this lifestyle. And I, but we didn't even like, even he would come to my events and help me as a host, but no ways did we play, we say play with other people until we had that establishment with us together at that connection, because you don't want to involve somebody else until you guys have that strong communication and connection. So make sure you have that.

And that's where somebody like me comes and helps you. I do a lot of coaching. I do what's called on call. Okay. So they pay for a couple of sessions and they will message me and be like, we need to talk to you like now. And I'm like, okay, well, you can't like now cause I'm getting on an airplane,

but like in like an hour you can, you know? So, um, um, and then there's people that, you know, they go through coaching with me and then they do exactly what I told them not to do. And I, you know, and I go, well, you know, and they're like, I know we heard you, but, and I go, it's not, we heard you, but like, so I tell people that too, you know, it's like a child. It's like, I told you not to do that. Why? No mom. But you know, and, and, and it's, it's really important, especially if I can speak to men on this that might be listening. Um, it's, it's, there's

making your girlfriend, wife happy or significant other. I don't know if you're a guy. I imagine this, I don't know. I've never been gay, so I don't know what goes on their head, but I mean, it's, there, there's sex, but as a man, you're normally looking to make a woman secure provider and happy. And there's nothing that makes you feel more as a man than making a woman happy in bed and helping her reach her happiness completion point. And then she'll gladly let you do yours.

I usually have her go first or you meet in the middle with a combined one. And then you get the, I'm kind of sadistic that way where I get the last stand. Um, but you, you, or if you're really good, you can make that whole big final thing crescendo at the end and everybody, everybody passes out and goes into cold sweat mode. I got to find out where Chris lives. You guys, I'm on my way. How far? There you go. Uh, so, um, you know, but, but nothing makes you feel like a man when you're, when you're laying there as a man and you get done and you've like, just, you know, wreck that bedroom because you don't stay in the bed. People, um, you've wrecked that bedroom, that swing thing. Uh, you, she's happy and she curls up on your chest and she's shaking and she's going, Oh my God.

And you're sitting there going, I'm a man. I kicked ass today. And I bring this up as an important point because we live in a world where the last two generations have raised these betas, these simps, these feminized men who don't know how to do this anymore or care. And they're, they just kind of weak and, you know, these incels, which I really feel bad for, you know, having sex with a woman. A woman is a wonderful thing. It's a beautiful thing. And it's nature, it's human, it's biology. There's nothing disgusting about it. And so as long as she's over 18, um, Matt Gates, uh, so, you know, if you want to feel like a man and, and for women

too, if you want to make your man happy, you want to make him feel happy, do it too. And I, it goes the opposite, same way. I mean, you know, even like man happy you want to make him feel happy do it too and i goes the opposite same way i mean you know even like someone you know for like someone like me you go are you did that feel good or do you like it does it feel good i'm always saying even during sex you know if i incorporate a toy i say do you like it if you don't like it i'll put it away do you like you know because you want them to be just as happy as you are you know yeah you would never be able to like i said i've had maybe two gals i dated that i couldn't get to um to but i was just dating them but i couldn't get an orgasm they had some hangups but you would never be able to meet my girlfriend without having multiple orgasms it wouldn't it would never happen yeah i'm gonna make you do it i'm gonna and i'm not gonna shame you into it

you know part of it is just you getting a woman to be present out of her head to where she's feeling it. You've got to get her into having, not having sex with Jack on the, you've got to get out of your head and you've got, you've got to get out of your head and you've got to be able to just let yourself go. And another thing I get to men,

when we involve a toy, it's not because you're inadequate. Okay. I get that all the time. She wants to bring a toy. No, it's just an additional addition of excitement. And you know,

I get that so many times well she brought in she brought in a dildo does that mean she doesn't like me i don't think so i mean let me see you but i'm just kidding yeah send us a film um but no i mean i i do have one sexual hang-up though uh that my ex-wife didn't like uh it was you have not married we like to we like shh shh i'm saying this joke uh so uh that's the fun part of it uh so uh so my my sexual kink was uh having her pretend like she was my ex-wife and she caught me in the bed with twins oh does that joke work did i do that right i don't know i ruined it you guys i'm sorry it sounded funny in my head. But yeah, I'll do a joke on the show that's kind of a callback joke.

And I'll be like, oh, this sounds like my ninth marriage. And then throughout the show, I'll say, that sounds like my fifth marriage. That sounds like my seventh. And people write me and be like, how many marriages do you have? And I go, none. That's a joke. Yeah, exactly. Anything more that you do that you help people on that we want to touch on and tease out? So what I do right now, my ultimate goals, I've got my documentary is coming out on my first book.

OK, so we are in editing for that now. My second book, so the second book that I'm doing in my book, when I was writing it and it went to publishing, I kept saying to my publisher, wait, I forgot this. Wait. And she goes, stop it. Your life's never going to stop. Your story's never going to end. You know, so she said, you need to do a book about what happened when she says, I'll go in your next book. And as it progressed, when people would read my book, they would say, I wish you had put

more about the porn industry. I wish you had put more about the swinger lifestyle. I wish you had put more stories about working in a brothel. And so I was like, well, then wait a second. I'll have a book that focuses on each. So the second one is all about the swinger community, what it was like as a married woman, a single girl, as a host, a community running, the legalities, the crap I've gone through. That's been the biggest challenge is running a swingers club. So the second book is I'm almost done. I'm so close to being done with that. And I've got my podcast, which is all about

adult topics, anything that has to do, like I brought my scientist on or somebody. I had a priest on who was, whole life was all about being a priest and, you know, going through all the training. And then right before he was supposed to complete, he ended up changing his mind. And now he makes videos where he teaches about sex. And I'm like, what did your parents say? And he's like, yeah, they were not happy.

But, you know, so I bring people on like that. I try to show my listeners and my viewers that just because you're an adult performer doesn't mean you're not educated, doesn't mean, you know, you came from a sexually abused relationship or you're a drug addict. I've had one of my guests, my recent guest, she's known as like the gangbang queen of the industry. And she is one semester away from being a physician. She was a medic for the military for six years. I mean, and you never know. She's 24 years old. That's a brilliant woman.

Yeah. Damn. I mean, I don't. 24 years old, was in the military six years as a medic. She's married to a man she met in the military and she's like the gangbang queen of the world. And she says, I'm not going to go and be a doctor and quit my job in the industry

until the word slut is a word of empowerment. And I'm like, damn. So, you know, that's why I do what I do. And then I travel. I do seminars. empowerment. And I'm like, damn, like, so, you know, that's why I do what I do. And then I travel, I do seminars. That's why I'm always like on an airplane. I go and I teach people in bread, embracing your sexuality and live your life for you. That's a big thing I do is we all live our lives to, you know, what we're expected of, right? You know, live that picket, the white picket fence, get married, two kids, get your college degree, have the fur babies, right? And, um, and then you're not happy. And then you go to the,

I should have, would have, could have syndrome. And so I travel and I teach people until you are happy to say who you are and live for you and say, you know what? I'm a swinger. So what? Who are you hurting? You know, and the more people, the more people that we can get in our country to embrace their sexuality, I think the less of, you know, this whole, shh, don't masturbate. Don't talk about having another partner. It's going to be not so much on the down low anymore. Yeah. It just, it just astounds me because I know all my friends are married at this point at 50, surrounded by married people.

It's very different. How many of your friends, how many of the guys are happy? None. Not a lot. Yeah. I mean, married and happy that they, the two are synonymous but part of it is their sex lives are are non-existent non-existent they don't even get the year thing i think it's a 10-year anniversary gift though um but you know there's a lot of reasons why that uh you know part of is they

became very betatized or very maybe they were very feminized uh you know i understand women and their in their patterns and arcs through life uh I know why that sexuality kicks in in their 30s and 40s and they just become a raging 20-year-old again. You know, it's life. It's biology. Let me ask you this because I'm kind of curious. You know, a lot of people have fantasies and like we mentioned before, the fantasies sometimes, maybe many times, don't end up being what you think they were.

Yes. And so, you know, I own a modeling agency for many years. I have a huge library of all of our girls, you know, photos that we took. And it's kind of an archive of my life. And it's a bit like Hugh Hefner's archive. I'm friends with a lot of them today. So I know their past. I see them as the, you know, the soccer mom and stuff and going to church and

forking stuff and i'm going yeah i knew her at a different time i guess um but you know we're all friends but uh so you know i have uh an extensive library of my life uh and you know i i archive it and spend time with it like you did he once a day, he would spend time with his. Mine's not quite that large. I wish it was. I studied Hugh when I was young. Anyway, people find that fantasy isn't what you think it is. Number one, if you can't perform well in the bedroom. What I'm leaning into is people will be like,

oh, you dated twins. There's pictures. The picture's on Facebook. It's not and there's pictures, the pictures on Facebook. It's very, you know, it's not hidden. Um, there's all the pictures on Facebook. Right. But, uh, no, it's, and so our friends will be like, you dated twins. You know, they'll see my modeling agency pictures. Do you date, you know, you date, do you date those girls? And I'm like, yeah, like half that room. Um room um and and they all know it and uh and so you know a lot of people don't realize though is they'll be like i want to date twins and i'm like it's not

what you think it is maybe you want to keep it a fantasy and not ruin your marriage because there are guys that'll do that they'll be like they'll go into that or try that and uh you've number one got to be able to make two women happy if you can't make the first woman happy don't don't add more uh and number three when you break up with them uh and send them back to their husbands you uh spend the next 30 to 60 days every girl you meet you're like i wonder if she has a twin and you realize you can't live that way so you know that's an example for me of how a fantasy, you know, sometimes doesn't work out.

And even then to this day, sometimes it'll kick in. Yeah, I mean, what I say, what I say to people is that, you know, if you and your partner or, you know, anybody, whether you're single or a partner, okay, you have this fantasy and you try it, okay? And then you go, eh, I don't like it, okay? So now as a couple, you would say to your partner, okay, I didn't like that, honey, and this is why I didn't like it. And then, okay, should we try it again say to your partner, okay, I didn't like that, honey. And this is why I didn't like it. And then, okay, should we try it again, but try it this way?

Or do you not, do you not think that we can even fix it? You have to kind of go through it. I mean, I've had a fantasy that has yet to be fulfilled correctly. It's just, yeah. I mean, I, I'm an exhibitionist. I love to be watched. And I have asked boyfriends, you know, I want you to blindfold me, put me in a room, go pick three guys at random in the party, pick whoever you want, come back into the room. I don't know what's going on. I

don't know who's who. I don't know who I'm touching. I don't know who's doing what, but he's making sure that there's condoms and I'm being safe. And then, you know, but it's making me be that submissive. Look at my little slut. Look what she'll do for me. And then we leave, they leave the room. We go back into the lifestyle party and I never know who these men were. Okay. I want that. But every time we try to do it and then like the boyfriend will say okay well what about you know and he'll say we'll pick somebody and i go well what about that guy oh not him and i'm like okay but what about okay like that guy's kind of cute not about him and i go well that's what you're supposed to pick don't let me pick and then he says no i don't really like anybody here and i'm

like so never get it done yeah so if any volunteers listening that's my fantasy okay and your email is um you know i had a friend one time who uh who he got picked by the guy the husband he was at a club he met this girl and uh she had kids and so but but you know i mean she's really older she's a lot like but he didn't know there was a husband wife thing he just thought he was meeting a cute girl so he yeah is that what it's called vanilla hunting either words vanilla hunting is what they were doing and they are a hot wife couple he's gonna watch your friend with his wife and he did he was in the closet it was like a whole blue velvet uh sort of thing black velvet blue velvet but uh you know it's very natural but the the reason i bring up the the fantasy might not always work for you is that's all the more

reason to maybe take your kink to your partner and say, look, I really like this thing, but it's probably not going to work out if I go outside the marriage. So let's figure it out here. I just don't understand why people don't do that. Because they're too scared. They're too scared of the, oh my God, what's wrong with you? Well, you're not happy. And now there's a fight. Now there's an argument between us. Why do you want to do that? I'm not enough for you. Okay. I see how you are. It's like my God, what's wrong with you? You're not happy. Now there's a fight. Now there's an argument between us. Why do you want to do that? I'm not enough for you? Okay, I see how you are. It's like, no, that's not it. That's the fear.

That's the fear that people tell me all the time. I can't tell my partner, are you crazy? She'll divorce me and she'll use me. And I'm like, then are we really happy? Or do you want to wait until you're 72 and then try over again? And then you can swipe left, right or nothing on Tinder. I mean, we have all these authors that come on the show and they're wonderful people and they write a lot of women's novels and what they call these

beach reads or beach books and stuff and they're always the same storyline they're always the they're always the get back with jack and titanic the guy that you know you're alpha widower in in 20 years old that you hit at your peak and that's who you're thinking about when you're having sex that's who you're masturbating to that's that's who you're you want to get back to and the fantasy of every one of these novels is getting back to that yeah combined or it's the beauty and the beast story it's combined with the beauty of these or it's the beauty it's always the beauty and the beast story you know the gray the gray books for the beauty we need we need new stuff yeah yeah yeah but no i mean this this is how women work.

This is what their interests are and what's in their head. Watch what they do, not what they say. And so that's what they like. And so you've got to realize that, you know, I'm amazed at how many husbands don't go, you know, my woman is a sexual being. She has more, you know, like I said, she has more touch points that can turn her on than I do. There's kind of a reason for that. If you understand biology. I tell them, I tell the men, I say, you know, it's interesting to me. I bet that your wife is

going, Oh my God, he's so boring. And I wish that he would just come to me, you know? And I said, I always say this too. How long have you been married? Okay. Less than 10 years. You guys have any kids? No kids. Okay, perfect. So there's no alimony yet. There's no child support yet. So if I were you, this is your opportunity to go now. Say it now. Don't stick, you know, because especially in California, after 10 years, you're fucked out here. That's true. That's what I say. So go

and say it to your partner because she might look at you and be like, oh, thank God. I've been wanting to talk to you about that, but I was scared, you know? And women, you know, I mean, men are overt communicators. Women covert communicators so as a man she expects you to lead for the most part so you know lead ask her you know let's get in get into her stuff don't shame her and be like oh that's disgusting you know it bring your freak out bring her freak out

and that's why people play together that's why they hire sometimes me as a middle person okay so they come together, then they go separate with me and the husband will tell me things that she doesn't know. And he'll, she'll tell me things. And then I go, okay,

then we come back together. And then I say, I am going to now tell what you've told me and you've told me, and we're going to talk about this all together. The three of us, you know, and we're going to go through and there's no shaming. There's no judging there.

If you hit him or you hit her, like I get a lot of that. I can't believe he, and I go put your hand down. You know, they're about to smack the bar. Oh yeah. And I go hand down. Yeah. You know?

And so, but then that way, that way there's like a middle person, you know, there's me in the middle going, Hey, listen, stop talking for a second. I'm talking to her or stop talking. I'm talking to him. You know, it works. It does work. It's, it's worked a lot of times. Um, I haven't had anybody that I've coached that has ended up, ended up, I had one couple who had some issues. And then when I spoke with them, they said, well, we weren't

a hundred percent honest with you from the beginning, you know? And so then I was like, well, then I can't help you if you're not honest with me. So, you know, I can't help you if I, if you guys are entering this because you know, you guys have had affairs and you didn't tell me that. So, yeah. Yeah. So big message here. Uh, talk to Cor about all the stuff that she does for you, but get a healthy sex life. Even if it's with yourself, I met women that, and I never can trust what they say, but they'll say that they'd never had an orgasm privately with themselves. Um, you know, and, and there's women I've met that I'm like, Hey, when's the last time, uh, you,

uh, got some shampoo or we got down there and, uh, clean that area up. And, and they're like, they have like a disconnect. Because the whole part of their body.

And I'm like, because you're so told, you know, now you focus on your children and you're in that kind of stuff. And so, you know, I mean, I,

I can be the first to say that I used to say I could care less if I never had sex again. I swear. I used to say that I could care less. It's totally irrelevant to me in my life because I've never had an orgasm. I didn't realize what it does to your attitude and your body and your health and your, your outlook on life. And so I'm a different person now, you know, and I'm, I also used to think that I could only have one orgasm, like, okay, that was it. Well, that was, that was good. And now I'm a different person now, you know, and I'm, I also used to think that I could only have one orgasm, like, okay, that was it. That was, that was good. And now I'm like, holy crap, I'm like multi-orgasmic, you know, and I can have like 20 in a session. Like, that's crazy, you know, and you can, but a woman does, you know, sometimes you don't, you just don't,

you're not educated on it. You don't realize it. You think it's bad. You don't want to be judged. And so, you know, anybody who's like listening and is like, okay, I want to talk to her. So just reach out to me. And I do seminars and I travel and I love, love, love, love, love, love what I do. And I love, I love seeing that person that waits for me at the back of the room at the seminar, you know, and then everybody leaves and they just start crying and tell me everything like that makes me go, I'm here for a reason. So to me, there is nothing better than being a man. I'm saying this for the men in the audience.

There is nothing that will make you feel more like a man when you've kicked her ass in the bedroom and she curls up beside you and you're, you're, you're her man. God, you're, you're the dude. And, uh, there's nothing that makes her happier and it'll make you happy too. I mean, just the sex part is fun, but you know, you just, you just feel like a man. You're like, I made my woman happy. Fuck, yeah. I am the ruler of my world. If you understand how men work in our brains.

Yeah. Yeah. Being kings is our thing. And man, when you don't have that, I don't know. I don't know how people live because I can never live that way. And that's, you know, with the Me Too movement, you know, all these women like the woman I tell women, you know, listen, I'm an entrepreneur in the world. OK, I am a tough girl out there. But it's OK in the bedroom to be that submissive and let

go and let go of that responsibility. You know, you can call me a slut in the bedroom all you want. Call me a slut out there. You better watch out because I'm five feet. I will take you down. People know that they go, they call me firecracker. And somebody just recently said she's been upgraded to dynamite. Like, but I mean, that's me.

But in the bedroom, it's okay to, it's okay to be submissive. And that goes for men as well. It's okay to be submissive and that goes for men as well it's okay to be like some guys like you just dominate me for god's sakes i don't want to make a decision in life today you know what i mean it's okay because you know you're a businessman in the real world that's why they go to dominatrixes and get dominated so don't be afraid to be in leadership position you're always yeah you're always in a leadership position think about it you're a ceo of a huge company people say that to me oh they're sissies i'm like listen they're probably ceos of huge companies and that's why they go to a

dominatrix so somebody else can tell them what to do and make the decision for a change you know you want to get out of always having to be the guy exactly so be don't be afraid to just let yourself go and like it goes back to what did i say embrace your sexuality and just be who you are and if somebody else has a problem with it turn the other way it's not a problem and it's human nature people it's biology it's there's not a problem. And it's human nature, people. It's biology. It's just, there's nothing dirty or filthy about it. In fact, if,

if people didn't do it, we will wouldn't be here. In fact, the whole reason we're doing is, is because we're animals and we're, what is it? We're proliferating society. Yeah.

Well, it's been wonderful to have you on the show. Thank you for having me on the show. Thank you. And hopefully we change some people's lives or sex lives or just views in general. So hopefully, you know, we get through to somebody that goes, Hmm, maybe there is something to what they're saying. So thank you for having me. I really do appreciate that. There you go. Give us your.com so people can find you on the internet.

All right. So once again, it is the Coraline jewel.com and I am redoing the entire website. So bear with me because I'm doing it on my own now. I've decided in my life that if you hire somebody, you're not going to get it done the right way. So do it on your own. So bear with me on that. And my podcast page is, what is it? It's highprofilepodcast.life. There you go.

When the ice melts, the story of Coraline Jewel. Pick it up wherever fine books are sold. Stay away from those alley bookstores I went to last week. I've got to get it set in a shot. I think Raby shot. Go where fine books are sold or at the book. Go to goodreads.com, 4chesschrisfoss. Go to youtube.com, 4chesschrisfoss.

Go to all the groups on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and all those people places and stuff. Make your partner happy. You'll make yourself happy. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. I've lived 54 years being happy people. Please stop doing what you're doing. Thanks for tuning in. Be good to each other. Stay safe as always. And we'll see you guys next time.

Thank you.