The Church of Eleven22 - Abundant Marriage - Live Abundantly: Wk 2

Episode Date: October 15, 2023

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18

County Church, would you please stand for the reading of God's word? Dr. Paul is going to read for us. Proverbs 5, verses 1 through 7. My son, be attentive to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding that you might keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps follow the path to shield. She does not ponder the path of life.

Her ways wander, and she does not know it. And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. May God add blessing through the reading and the hearing of God's word. Can we give it up for Dr. Paul? Thanks. You may be seated. If you got your Bible, that's where we're going to be in Proverbs. This is the final PG-13 warning.

I know the campus pastor has just warned you, but I'm also warning you because some people listen online or listen in your car two weeks from now. So if you've got little ears, you want to turn this down. If you've got kids in here, like elementary age, go ahead and take them now to our kids ministry at all of our campuses. You can go to the lobby and we'll help you get checked in.

or if you want to keep your kids in here, good luck on the conversation for lunch and following, okay? Hey, before we get there, I need you to grab this. This is our 10-10-life catalog. I was told by my team that I called it a catalog and we're not supposed to call it a catalog. So now I'm only going to call it a catalog. And here's why, when they first handed it to me,

I was like, this is legit, and it's heavy. It feels like a Sears catalog. And I used to love when the Sears catalog would show up in the mail. The Sears catalog meant Christmas is coming, amen? The Sears catalog is full of heart. hopes and dreams and wants and desires. That's what it's full of.

And every year my daddy would give me a magic marker, and I would go into Sears Catalog, and I'd circle all the things that I wanted because I thought those things were going to be ultimate joy and happiness, right? Well, this is better than a Sears catalog. Do you know why? Because this thing is not full of just some temporary stuff that you want. This thing is full of what God wants for you, and I hope when you see it, you're filled with the same kind of excitement that I was as a kid for Christmas,

because what God wants for you is an abundant life. Amen? Amen. And so what this thing has in it, it's got four things, okay? You need to know. I hope you'll bring it each and every week. I hope you'll keep it close to you during this whole series. First of all, it's got an update on what God has been doing in us and through us and to us in this 10-10 life journey. As has already been mentioned, we are on this journey, rooted in John 10-10, that the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. But Jesus said, I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly. And there's all kind of things that we're doing here at the church, and God is just flexing.

for His glory, and you need to know some of those things. So that's there. If you want to hear all about it, you can go to our website, C-O-E-22.com. If you scroll all the way to the bottom, there's a sermon that I did at a vision night a couple of weeks ago, and it's everything that I know about what God is doing in our church and where all the next campuses are going and all the things like that, so I'd encourage you to do that. Secondly, if you go to page 80, there's a place there for you to take notes.

There's the Bible verses that I'll be teaching from, and you definitely want to turn there today because you're going to want to see that I'm not making this stuff up, that God says these things. And then there's also a place for you to take notes. I'd highly encourage you to take notes. And then if you keep going, there's a whole section that you can use in your disciple group.

So for some of you, if you've ever wanted to look smart in your disciple group and haven't been able to pull that off yet, then there's the preloaded questions there that you can go ahead and look up the answers and feel good about it when you go. So I'd encourage you to do that, take this to disciple group with you. And then if you turn to the very end, there's a commitment card.

Would you pull this out, hold it, touch it, smell it, Get into it, okay? Because this is going to be a tangible expression of our faithfulness to God. Three weeks from now, on November 2nd and 5th at all of our services, all of our locations, we are going to make a financial commitment. And here's the heartbeat of the 10-10 life. He's a good shepherd. He speaks to his sheep.

And all I need for all of us to do is hear the voice of the good shepherd and just do what he says. And so bring this back with you in a few weeks. and so that's everything about this catalog, and hopefully that gave you enough time to get your kids out of here. All right, now we're ready. So what we're going to talk about is we're in this series called Live Abundantly,

and we've been talking about wisdom. That's what we talked about last week. Wisdom. And wisdom is living in God's world, God's way. And so with the first four chapters in the book of Proverbs, there's this older guy talking to his son, and it's more like a spiritual son. And for four chapters,

all the first four chapters of Proverbs, it's about the fear of the Lord and wisdom, wisdom and the fear of the Lord. And then when you get to chapter five, the first significant thing that this older guy is going to talk about, he's going to talk about sex and sexuality and sexual immorality.

And you think, well, what does that have to do with the abundant life? I'll tell you what it has to do with the abundant life. We have an enemy who's a thief, and the thief wants to steal from you. He wants to take something that's not his. He wants to kill, steal. and destroy, and one of the primary ways he has been doing this, regardless of how much you love

Jesus in your heart, is through sex and sexual immorality. Now, let me just give you a warning, okay? I am, I didn't write this. I'm like the mailman. We've talked about this before. I'm like the mailman. I don't write it. I just deliver it. And there are going to be some things in here that are probably offensive to you. Okay, me too. But when we come to the scripture, here at 1122, there are some people that come and they think they have authority over the scripture and be like, what is God talking about? He didn't know about tender.

He has no idea what I'm doing, okay? But the way we come to the scripture is we put ourselves under the authority of the Word of God. He is the author of life, and he knows how best to use it. And wisdom is living in God's world, God's way, and any time we get out from under the authority of God's word, I'm telling you, we can make a train wreck of our life. our life. And if you look at me and be like, who are you to tell me what to do? I'm a nobody,

okay? I'm a nobody. And so all I'm going to do is try to teach you what God says from God's word. And I do want to remind you, you did show up to hear me preach. It's not like I busted up in your house and be like, hey, get your hands off earth. That's not what happened, okay? So this is what we're doing. It's talking about sex, sexual immorality, all the things. Because I can't tell you the number of people that go to church and sing the songs and no Bible verses. and when it comes to sex and sexual immorality, say, forget you, God, I got this. And they ain't got this.

And they have a train wreck of a life, relationships, family to show for it. So a couple ground rules that we got to cover before we get into it, because we've got to kind of define some terms here, okay? In the beginning, God, out of God's love, God's love for God's self, he decided to create humankind to bear his image.

And in God's infinite wisdom, he decided that the best way that humanity would image God best is by, he made us male and female. That's it. There's just two. Just male and female. God has created us male or female. Regardless of how you feel,

and you don't get to, like, you know, switch teams halfway through the third inning. That's not how it works, okay? That God decided there's male and female. Now, you see, because we don't get to declare who we are. We receive our identity from our creator. And if you're confused about that, That's exactly what it is. It's confusion.

And we have a world of confusion right now. And God is not the author of confusion. The enemy wants you to be confused. So if you are confused about that or love and know somebody that's confused about that, we love you and we are for you and we want you to just see yourself the way God sees you so that that confusion will be cleared up so that you can see him for who he really is. Amen. God made us male and female.

Secondly, sex is God's idea. Is you ever thinking about that? If you're still on the fence, it says whether God's a good God or not, let me say it in, sex was God's idea. God came up with the idea of sex. I don't know how it happens, I don't know, I wasn't there. But somewhere in eternity past, there was no such thing as sex,

and then God's like, hey, you know what? I've got an idea of what I'm gonna do. And the angels are like, what? He's like, it's gonna be awesome. Another rainbow is better than a rainbow, okay? And he comes up with the idea of sex. For procreation, do you ever think about that? of all the ways that he could have propagated the species.

Could have been anything. Your wife could just lay eggs in the garage and you walk about and put some hair on it. Hey, we're going to have babies. It's kind of random, is it not? And yet, to image God, think about this one. When you got married, the Bible says the two become one. So one man and one woman become one in marriage.

It's a reflection of the triuneate nature of God, one God and three persons. And out of an overflow of your love for one another, you literally create image bearers that look like you and act like you. That's why they drive you crazy. It's true. Sex is God's idea. Not only for procreation, but also for recreation.

Can I get an amen? Amen. Amen, all right. Some of y'all are like, baby, it's the best church I've ever been to my whole life. Yeah, man. Like, he designed your body. I'm going to quit doing hand motions. He designed your body in such a way that some things are just for pure pleasure

with no creative elements at all. They don't make any more people. That God gave us this for procreation and recreation that God created as male and female, sex is God's idea, and sex is for married people. Not going to be married, not used to be married, not married in my heart. There's no such thing.

You can't get married in your heart. You're married at church, get married in the courthouse. That's where you get me. It's a legal transaction too. And marriage, according to the Bible, not according to current culture or the Supreme Court. They do not have the final say because it wasn't their idea. Marriage is one man and one woman in the covenant with God

for one lifetime. That's just what it is. Now from the very beginning of the Bible to the very end, there's going to be a consistent biblical ethic when it comes to sex. And Jesus is gonna say this, Paul is gonna say this, they're going to say flee sexual immorality. The Greek word that's translated into sexual immorality

is the word pornao. Sound familiar? It's a junk drawer, for not any specific kind of sexual act or who you're with or what you're doing. And I think part of the reason the Bible doesn't just make the list is because some of you perverts will be like, hey, my thing's not on the list.

Okay, neat. Anything outside of married people having sex, and it's not just intercourse, falls into the category of sexual immorality. And we live in a world that spends billions of dollars a day, and an enemy, a thief, is trying to bait you down the road, saying, forget you, God, I know better than you.

And if you do that, it leads somewhere, and where it leads is death and destruction. And so, if you want to live abundantly, then you live the way God says to live. And in regards to sex and sexuality, there are three chapters back to back to back in the book of Proverbs dedicated to this. Normally, I only teach like a few verses at a time.

Today we're gonna do three chapters. We'll have you out of here about half time. I can almost promise you that. Chapter 5, verse 1 of Proverbs, My verse. Open up to page 80 in your journals or open your Bible up. I need you to see this. He says this, my son be attentive to my wisdom.

So here's like a dad helping his kid. Incline your ear to my understanding that you may keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drink honey, drip honey. Okay, a couple things here. First and foremost, this is written from a man's perspective and it's written to another man. Ladies, look at me. For every forbidden woman, you know, there's a forbidden man.

I think a part of the reason that it's written this way is because you, ladies, are smart enough to make the transferable principles in your mind. The men are not, so we gotta put it right there on the bottom shelf for the boys, okay? So know this. For you, all the same things hold true. It's not like all the men are doing fine,

if the women would just quit tempted us. That's not how it goes, okay? This is true for both men and women. But he says this, for the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey. The forbidden woman is the woman that is not your wife. That's it. That's who the forbidden woman is. She's not your wife.

But look, her lips drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil. You see, this is the girl, and everything starts out sweet, doesn't it? Like, this is the girl that you work with her, and she laughs at all your jokes. And your wife don't laugh at all your jokes, but she does. You know why your wife doesn't laugh at your jokes? Because your jokes are dumb. Do you know why you're enamored with the fact that she laughs at your jokes at work?

Because you're dumb. It's going somewhere. The lips of a forbidden woman drip honey. Her speech is smoother than oil, but she is bitter as wormwood. It might start out sweet, but it's gonna be nasty. Sharp is a two-edged sword. This is important.

Her feet go down to death, and her steps follow the path to she-o. She-o is the Hebrew word for hell. See, you think this thing is fun. but it puts you on a path, and every path has a destination. And the destination of your life ends up as a series of decisions, a series of steps, either towards the abundant life that Christ has for you or towards hell. And I'm not even talking about like eternal salvation kind of hell. Every single one of us are a decision away from a horizontal hell that we would do anything to get out of.

You see, it's a pathway. And the whole root of this 10-10 life is this, man. Is your life on a path listening to the good shepherd that's heading in the direction of abundant life? Or is it heading to a hell? Married folks. The way that you're treating your husband or wife, is it leading to a deep, abiding marriage? You ask anybody, single or married that wants to be married. If you ask anybody, so what's the goal?

What do you want to be like when you get old? Everybody, they want to be that couple. Don't you want to be that old couple sharing rocking chairs at Cracker Barrel, sharing dentures, just still holding hands, loving each other? How do you think it gets there? You think it just accidentally works its way there? No, no, no, no, no. That's decades of little decisions and little decisions that hear the voice of the Good

Shepherd and go in obedience in his direction. Hey, if you're not yet married, where do you want to end up one day? If you want to be married and you're single right now, then what kind of decisions are you making them? How do you think that's going to impact your future? I can't tell you the number of single people that I talk to. They would never answer it this way. But in a different set of words, it's a lot about self-justification,

you'll say something like, well, here's what I'm doing in regards to dating and preparing to be married. I meet a girl, and I hook up, shack up, break up, repeat. Hook up, shack up, break up, repeat. And I have been training my whole life to treat a girl. like a commodity and when I'm done with her, I'm done with her. But one day I'm gonna meet the one, and I'm gonna show up on a Saturday at church

and I'm gonna put a tux on and I'm gonna say, I do. And then from then on I'm gonna know how to love her like Christ love the church. Scooter, you're too dumb to talk to, okay? If all you've ever done in your entire practice life is fumble, you think you could be trusted in the championship game with the ball? I don't think so.

And so ask yourself, what path are you on, All three chapters are going to be talking about a pathway. She does not ponder the path of life. See, she's not thinking about a path. She's thinking about Instagram. Look at this. Yolo, you only live once. No, dummy.

You live forever. She does not ponder the path of life. Her ways wonder, and she does not know it. And now, oh, sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth, keep your way far from her. And do not go near the door of her. house. This is why Paul in 1st Corinthians 6 is going to say flee sexual immorality. Every single time we have sinned sexually. It's because we did not flee, we flirted. And you may look through

and be like, well, what's wrong with going near the door? There's no sin going near the door. I've read the whole Bible and nowhere in the Bible does it says, thou shalt not touch us the door. That's right. It's not a sin to go near the door. It's just stupid because it leads somewhere. And wisdom isn't necessarily about what's sin and what's not sin. Wisdom is living in God's world, God's way. You see, the moment you begin to ask the question, how far is too far, whether that's in communication or a physical relationship, the moment you begin to ask that question, it's the wrong question.

Because your momentum taking you towards too far will always leave you farther than you ever intended on going. It'll always cost you more than you ever thought it would cost. and it'll always hurt you way more than you ever dreamed or imagine. So he says, don't go near the door of her house lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless less strangers take the fill of your strength and your labors go to the house of a foreigner. Listen up, fellas, you know what this means?

You could build your whole life, your name, your reputation, your house, your home, and just a series of stupid decisions, you could throw it all away. Some other guy that you don't even know right now could be tucking your kids into bed one day if you don't pay attention to God's wisdom. And at the end of your life, you groan when your flesh and body are consumed and you say how I hated discipline

and my heart despise reproof. You begin to ask the question, what have I done? What have I done? You know, every single time a famous pastor fails and falls morally, our staff, especially our younger staff, they come to me. I know a bunch of these guys.

And they go, Pastor, what was he thinking? And I go, he wasn't thinking. Here's what happened. He began to go down a path. And the spirit of God tapped him on the shoulder and said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And at some point, he said, get off me. I got this. And he ain't got this.

He ain't got this. You ain't got this. You can lose your integrity, your witness, money, your family, your reputation, all for what? Verse 13, I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin. My hope and prayer is that for some of you, this message comes at just the right time

and it keeps you from utter ruin. If you're in utter ruin at the end of the service, we're going to talk about it. Now, I know it's going to feel like a beatdown for about another 30 minutes, but hang in here to the end. It gets better at the end, okay? But listen, I can't tell you the amount of people

who get to a place in their life feels like utter ruin and not one human being has ever woken up and been like, you know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to drive my life into utter ruin. Nobody. Nobody wakes up one day and be like, you know what, I hope my marriage ends in a custody battle for my kids.

No, no, no, that's not what you think. You see, it happens way back up here, and it's one just, it's just one little, it's just lunch. It's just lunch. I know she's not my wife, but it's just lunch, and she gets me, she gets me. He values me. My husband ignores me,

but he value, it's just lunch, people have to eat. There's not one verse in the Bible about, thou shalt not eat lunch, I'm telling you, and you're like, you're right, you're right. And before you know it, man, you have gone places you never dreamed you would go. And it ends in utter ruin. You see, this is why the problem,

if you try to define how far is too far, there's the problem. Because the moment you define like, where's the line, then human nature is how close to sin can I get without it being sin? And the moment you get there, every single one of us, we know this, you then begin to ask, well, how far over the line can I go and still manage the consequences? And when you do that, you're gonna eventually say,

how did I get here? Because you didn't intend to it. Last time you got a speeding ticket, that's what happened. That's it. Nobody gets somebody like, you know what I'm gonna do today? Get a speeding ticket? No. But what do you do?

You pull out on the highway. You be like, where's the line? 70. It said 70, okay. Well, for the safety of me and everybody else, I'll just try 65. Does anybody do that? only the person in front of me in the left lane when I'm in a hurry.

But everybody else, you go as fast as you can, don't you? You try to say, okay, I know it says 70, but it don't mean 70. If I could just get one policeman to give me the number, what is it actually? 81, 82, 79, just give me the number. But they won't ever do that. Because then what you do is just go, I'm going to try to go as fast as I can and still manage the consequences. And then when they light you up, blue, you think, ah, I went too far.

This is our nature. So he says, I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. Now he's gonna give advice to married people. Here's his advice, drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad streams of water in the streets?

And you're like, what does that mean, Pastor? That's why I have a job. Let me explain. All throughout the Old Testament, the woman anatomically is called a well. Just think about that for a minute, okay, for obvious anatomical reasons. The man is called a spring

for obvious anatomical reasons. Think, old faithful. Got it? Song of Solomon will say things like, rejoice in the wife of your youth and God blesses a spring-fed well. It's so hard for me to not move my hands right now. Got it?

So here's what he's saying. Husbands, there's only one source of clean drinking water in your life, and that is your wife. that your wife is the only legitimate source of romance or sexual intimacy, period. Ladies, your husband is the only legitimate source of romance or sexual intimacy, period. Not some dumb romance novel, not some goofy movie. If you're married to Ted, you've got 50 shades of Ted. That's what you got.

That's all you got. Fellas, not pictures, not movies, not any other human. and being, she is the only legitimate, clean source of water in your life and anything else is contaminated and will kill you. And so, with that in mind, one of the best ways that you can flee sexual immorality if you're married is you can flirt with your spouse. Don't stop it flirting. Go all the way.

This is what are you saying? Let me just say this way. Ladies, you're the only clean drinking water in town. and your husband gets thirsty sometimes. Okay? Now listen, if he ever goes outside of you, I'm not saying it's your fault whatsoever. It's his responsibility, it's his sin for sure.

But again, the brother gets thirsty. And so if every time he comes up and he's like, you know, baby, I'm getting out thirsty. And you're like, well, you know what? I've been saving that for your birthday or anniversary. It ain't good, man. It ain't good. You ever go to the grocery store hungry?

Make some awful decisions, don't you? You come walking in the air, you're like, I'm going to get some chicken and broccoli. That's what I'm getting. And then you're hungry. Oh, Captain Crunch. Sounds delicious. Next thing you know, your mouth's bleeding at your kitchen table because you're being run by your stomach. Yeah.

Again, man, one of the best ways a husband and wife can serve each other is this. Is drink from your own will. Drink from your own sister. Keep it at home. And if you're not married, you don't have a well to drink from. Period. And again, you'd be like, well, we're married in our heart. No, you're not. That's not a thing, man. That's some sort of self-justification to do what you want. And again, to be a husband, you know what it's required of you to be a husband? It's to love your wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her because of his love for us. And the Bible defines love. The first thing it says is love is patient. That means you cannot simultaneously, inpatiently be taken.

something that does not belong to you and yet claim that you love somebody. That's how it works, man. You see, love sacrifices, love serves. Love does nothing in its own interest. And so I'll tell you, you know who loves this sermon? Fateful married couples are like, oh, this is great. Love it. Go home, drink some water.

It's great, okay? You know who else loves this service? Dad's of teenage daughters. Get them, pastor, right? You know who hates the service right now? You guys that are sleeping with your girlfriend and you hadn't married her. Stop it, dude.

Stop it. Ladies, do you know how valuable you are? See, you are valuable and you should be treated as valuable. And every single time you give yourself away to somebody who hasn't given themselves to you, you were devaluing yourself and you're too valuable for that.

You know what it should... I mean, you're a daughter of the king. You know what it should require for somebody to touch you that way? They have to commit and covenant before God, friends, and family, their entire life in order to get you. It says, let them be for yourself alone. You know where intimacy comes from? Intimacy comes from exclusivity and vulnerability.

Let them be for yourselves alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Husbands, are you rejoicing in the wife of your youth? Do you rejoice in her or you complain about her? And I think the reason he says, rejoice in the wife of your youth, because remember all the things you used to do when you were dating her to try to get her to marry you?

You had game, bro. See, I get a unique seat every week. I get to stand up here and see you people. And I see who you married to. I mean, how in the heck did you get her to say yes? Because you had gain. You pursued her. And she was young, and it's a covenant, and you can't get out.

So praise God for that. And you would do whatever it takes, right? We talked about this a couple of weeks ago, man. You study her, you learn her, you chase after her, you do dumb stuff like eat frozen yogurt and go to stupid movies. You do whatever it takes to pursue and value her. So husbands, one of the greatest ways you can flee sexual immorality is continue to pursue your wife.

Man, I'm telling you, I'm obsessed with my wife. I love G. More than all we all put together. I just like hanging out where they're better than you. But I am obsessed with her. Continue to date your wife. One of the greatest things you got going for you at 1122 is on Wednesday nights, we have youth group. If you're not making your kids go to youth group, you're too dumb to talk to.

We drive Reagan up and we go, hey, go to youth, go, go. You got a couple of hours, just you and mama. That's what we got. Even if she didn't want to go, we would drive by and throw her out the window, and we would go on dates together. Do you do vacations with just you and your wife? I've told you in my house there's two different kinds of travel, right? There's trips and there's vacations. If the kids come, it's a trip.

There ain't on vacations. And then several times a year, one of the best things you can do for your children, married folks, is look at them and say, hey, me and your mama are leaving. Where are you going? One of the greatest places on the planet. Can we come? No. And just pursue your wife.

Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife every year. youth. Then this next part, man, one of my favorite verses. So many things I love in this verse. Ready? A lovely deer, a graceful dough. Let her breast fill you at all times with delight being intoxicated always in her love. Praise God for that verse. Wives, this would be a good one for you to memorize. Let's say it again. Ready? A lovely deer. A graceful dough. Let her breast fill you. When? At all times. Daytime? Yep. Nighttime. All the time. Yep. All the time. Now, if you quote this verse, you're done. You lost it already. But see, God never designed it to be like offense and defense. You realize this?

That a good, godly married couple is enjoying one another and serving one another and loving one another. Verse 20, why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponderes all his paths. You'll never fool God. And then check this out. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him. Listen, bro, that girl that's flirting with you. She don't get you.

I mean, she's going to get you, but that ain't what it means. Did you realize she's a tool in the hand of the enemy trying to kill you? Ladies, that dude is not your husband that's paying a little extra attention to you at work? He's not for you. He's willing to sacrifice your family and his family and his reputation and your reputation. He is a tool in the hand of Satan himself trying to kill, steal, and destroy. It's a trap.

That's what it means by ensnare. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him. And he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline and because of his great folly he has led astray. Chapter 6 for 19 verses, I think this dad is like, okay, I think we've covered it. Now let's move on to the next category.

19 verses in, he's like, never mind. Let's talk about sex some more. He goes back to it in verse 20. three times in Proverbs and three chapters back to back to back. This is what he's going to say. He says, my son, keep your father's commandments and forsake, knock your mother's teaching. Honestly, if we listen to our mom and dads

in this area, we'd probably do a lot better. Bind them on your hearts always. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you. When you lie down, they will watch over you. And when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and teaching is a light. And the reproofs of discipline are the way of life.

This is the essence of the 10-10 life. In John chapter 10, when Jesus says the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly, the next thing he says is, I am the good shepherd and I lay down my life for you. Right before he says this, he says, my sheep recognized my voice, and when they hear me, they follow me. See, we're not talking about right and wrong. We're talking about life and death. That's different. Right and wrong, morality will never sustain you.

but when you begin to understand that Jesus is a good shepherd, and every single time, regardless of what this world says, we take steps of obedience in the direction of the good shepherd, it always leads to life and life abundantly. You want an abundant marriage? Do it the way Jesus says, do it. And every single time we reject him and say, forget you, I got this.

It always leads to death. Consider this, regardless of what you believe, about all this stuff. Imagine if our country, since the inception of our country, decided we were going to obey the Seventh Commandment. Don't commit adultery. If every single person, even if you line and stealing and keeling, all the things, whatever, but the seventh one,

can you imagine how things would be different? The whole world would be different. Abortion wouldn't be a thing. Divorce, gone. Did you know Americans spend $10.2 billion a year? year paying for divorces. Do you know, we can leverage that money and feed every starving human being on the planet if we just took divorce money?

Do you know, domestic violence wouldn't be a thing, man? There'd be an outlier here, there every once in a while. Fatherlessness, gone. And I think the root of the problem in our country is fatherlessness. I mean, you think about it, every nonprofit started in America was to solve a problem because men didn't stand up and act like men and do what they were supposed to do. You see, God is for you, man. He's not trying to, like, keep you from anything.

He's offering you life and life abundantly, and his ways are better than our ways. It's a way of life to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Verse 25, do not desire her beauty in your heart. Listen, I'm going to be honest with you. There's going to be times in our lives where your faith and your hormones don't line up.

And in that moment, what are you going to do? What you're going to do is you're going to make a decision who your Lord is. And if you say, forget you, Jesus, I do what I want, then by definition he's not your Lord. You are your own Lord. That we all have to submit and surrender our hormones to him. Do not desire her beauty in your heart

and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. I had to look this up in Hebrew because I never meant to do. It's like, man, you see them eyelashes? Whoa, it's huge. Boy, you think they're real press on. I can't tell. Nope.

Here's what it means, man. She's flirting. She's winking with her eyes. He's like, pay attention to this. Do not be captivated with her flirtatiousness. For the price of a prostitute's only a loaf of bread. But a married woman hunts down a precious life. You see, anytime we try to make sex just transactional,

we'll say, look, it's not that big deal. It doesn't even cost that much. And little do you know, it could cost you everything. It also means your wife will kill you. That's what it means. And then the fundamental question, these next two verses, that men, when you're in this mess, don't know how to answer it. He says, can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not get burned?

Well, obviously the answer is no. But you ask a man that is walking down this pathway towards infidelity, and here's fundamentally what he says, uh-huh, I can. I can be the first human in the history of humanity to carry fire to my chest. But I got this. And Solomon is saying, bro, you ain't got this. Nobody's ever had this. Can a man carry fire next to his chest

and his clothes not get burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not get scorst? No. And again, man, you think, I'm not gonna get burned. Bro, you're gonna get burned, your future's gonna get burned, your family's gonna get burned, your kids are gonna get burned, that girl's gonna get burned, her future's gonna get burned, her kids are getting it burned, and many of you.

Many of you, I'm hoping, I'm praying, that you're just kind of seeing in the coals, maybe you've kind of reached out to him. And today, as a gift from the Spirit of God, he's going to give you some conviction, and you're going to say, uh-oh, I need to get off of this path. Verse 29, so is he who goes into his neighbor's wife. None who touches her will go unpunished.

This isn't even talking about God's judgment on you, which one day we will all stand and give an account for our lives. Romans chapter one says that the greatest wrath God could ever put on you is just to turn you over to yourself. That it's the kindness of God that leads to conviction. And if there's some conviction going on right now, it's the warm invitation of the Spirit of God

to turn away from death and turn to life. Verse 30, people do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his appetite when he's hungry. But if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold, he will give all the goods of his house. Verse 32, he who commits adultery lacks sense. He who does it destroys himself. again.

When you hear about somebody that's train wrecked their life and you go, what were they thinking? They weren't thinking. Verse 33, he will get wounds and dishonor and his disgrace will not be wiped away.

For jealousy makes a man furious and he will not spare when he takes revenge. He will accept no compensation. He will refuse though you multiply gifts. You see, you can't buy your way out of this, you can't talk your way out of this. Again, every single one of us

or a few decisions away from living in a horizontal hell that we would do anything to get out of. And the Bible is a gift to us, that God would love us enough, that he would prescribe a path that would keep us out of that. Chapter 7, the third time he's gonna go through it. Verse 1, my son, keep my words and my treasure and treasure up my commandments with you,

keep my commandments and live, keep my teaching as the apple of your eye, bind them on your fingers, write them on the tablet of your heart, and say to wisdom, You are my sister. You see, you can either learn from your own experience or you can learn from somebody else's experience. Wisdom is when we learn from somebody else's experience.

There's an old guy talking to a young guy saying, say to wisdom, you are my sister, and call insight your intimate friend to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulterous with their smooth words, for at the window of my house I have looked out through my lattice. Here's what he's saying. It's like an old guy sitting on his front porch.

Imagine Dr. Paul sitting on his front porch. And he's seen hundreds of young men start down this path. And regardless of their intention, that path has a destination, and they always end up in the same place. That's what he's saying. And he says, I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths,

a young man lacking sense. If you're 25 years or younger, if you're a young man, 25 years or younger, would you raise your hand as high as high as you can? 25 and younger, raise it really high, really high, higher than that, come on. all right look you lack sense you lack sense it's not your fault you got more sense than everybody else because you're here good job all right it's a good step in the right direction this is part of the

reason we do intergenerational disciple groups around here even in our 1825 groups we always plant some old people to lead it why because i don't want a bunch of 20 year olds sitting around talking about how to live life the concentration of that much ignorance in one living room is terrifying everybody thinks I know what they're doing when they're young. And if you got an old guy here going, hey, bro, the path that's your own leads somewhere, and it doesn't lead where you think it leads, and you can either trust me or you can learn it yourself.

But if you learn it yourself, you're going to burn down some things in your life. You'll never, ever, ever get back. Verse 8, passing along the street near her corner, underline that, taking the road to her house. This is the key to understanding this whole text. The young guys walking out of the road and he gets to a corner.

This is a pivotal decision in his life. He could keep going on the path that he was on, but when he gets to the corner, he doesn't keep going in the path that he was on. He looks down that road. He sees her house, and he makes a decision to turn and go in a different direction.

This is a pivotal decision. And if I were to run up to him in that moment, be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, listen, listen, this ain't good, man, this ain't good. I'm sure he would fight back. He was like, you know, I got this, man. I'm just going to go down the road a little bit. Like, I know you think you are.

That's not what this is going to happen. And he would be like, well, Pastor, listen, is it a sin to turn to corner? I'm like, no, it's not a sin to turn to corner. It's just stupid. It's really, really dumb. It lacks discipline because it leads somewhere. You see, every single time that we have failed sexually, it's because instead of fleeing, we flirted.

And so here's the reason I bring it up. It's not yet sin. It's just dumb. And I could line up so many men and women that attend our church that love Jesus and all the things. And they went down a road and it ended in destruction. And they would give anything to get in the Delorean and fix the flux capacitor and go all the way back

to that one corner, that pivotal decision, that lunch, that text, that DM, that one little friendship in the gym. Whatever it is, man, pay close attention to that. Let me tell you what some corners are. That guy at the gym that's not your husband, but he's real complimentary. And then the moment you pull up in the parking lot, kind of looking for his truck, that's a corner. Instagram, but she ain't naked, pretty close.

It's a corner. That guy's trip, that business trip, and you haven't done anything wrong yet, but it's heading in that direction. Or that guy that you went to high school with, you hadn't talked in a long time, and you're just catching up because you're old high school buddies, that girl at work. Listen, pay close attention, man. I'm not saying it's sin. I'm just saying it's stupid. That you have an enemy that's trying to take you out.

Verse 9, in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness. See, wrong place, wrong time. This is not an accident. When I was in high school, my daddy would always make me home, be home by midnight. He'd say, nothing good happens after midnight. Only people up after midnight are vampires and pimps. You don't want to be one of them. That was one of his proverbs.

And behold, the woman meets him dressed as a prostitute wily of heart. Here's the thing is she's not a prostitute. But at some place in her life, she had a corner. Something happened in her life. And now she, it thinks, the best decision is to try to be valued by somebody that's not her husband. Something profoundly wrong has gone on at the heart level.

Verse 11, she is loud and wavered her feet do not stay at home, now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait. She seizes him and kisses him. With a bold face, she says to him, I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows. This is some kind of religious self-justification. If you think I can do whatever I want

because I found this verse in 1. John 1.9, I don't know if you know this, but I found a loophole. If I confess my sins, he is faithful and just to forgive me in my sins and all in righteousness, then you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior. That he died on a cross in place for our sin so that we could be free from sin, not so that we could be free to sin.

And so she goes through this like religious justification to say, hey, it's going to be fine, we'll offer sacrifices for this. So now I come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I have found you. And this dummy thinks, it's all about me. Well, verse 16, I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen.

I have perfumed my bed with myrr. Apparently she's got Rick James, is her interior designer. Got aloes and cinnamon. She's got a berry white song going on the background. Come, let us take our fill of love till morning. Let us delight ourselves with love. This is not love.

This is lust. See, love is about serving. Lust is about taking. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not self-seeking. Love is not something you fall into. Love is something to you express,

a great expense to yourself, because Christ first loved us. These are very different things. Verse 19, check this out, for my husband is not at home. Which if you're the do, you'd be like, wait, I thought you were looking for me. There's a bunch of me's, huh? Yeah.

And again, man, I would speculate that if her husband was at home loving her, she wouldn't be dressing like a prostitute trying to get this young man into her house. For my husband is not at home. He has gone on a long journey. He took a bag of money with him. At full moon, he will come home. With much seductive speech, she persuades him.

With her smooth talk, she compels him. And check this out. And all at once, he follows her. Here's the reality. It's not all at once. It seemed all at once. He's going to train wreck his life all at once. But if you back that thing all the way up here,

there was that corner. and when he made that decision to turn the corner, there was a series of decisions that led to death and destruction. We don't notice until he goes off the cliff. It just seems like it's all at once. And I love these illustrations. As an ox goes to the slaughter. See, he's walking down this road, he's walking into this girl's heart,

and he's like, I'm the man. And the old guy's like, bro, you're a dead man walking. You're like an ox going to the slaughter. slaughter. You ever slaughter a cow? Palaca folks, will you please explain to the Pontelliger folks that steaks don't grow at Publix? Yeah, see an ox on his way. He's got his chest puffed up. He's feeling like an ox. He's like, oh yeah, I'm heading in here. Where am I going? What are these cattle guards for? And he's dead. He's lunch. That's what happens, man. He thinks he's going to be awesome. He's going to be dinner. Then this next one, I love it.

or as a stag, that's like an eastern deer, that's what that is, okay? We'd call it a buck. Or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver. Listen, tomorrow morning, I'm going to go get in the deer woods. I'll be hunting. I'll be right in the next sermon, okay? And I hope a big buck walks out. And I hunt with a bow and arrow because I'm a Christian, all right?

And so when that thing comes out, what I hope to do is draw back, place it right behind the shoulder in the heart or either double lung it. I'm going to release that arrow. It's going to make a swag noise. It's going to go through the heart or lungs. It'll mule kick. Blood will squirt out of both sides. It'll run. And within 30 seconds, it'll topple over and go to heaven.

They don't really go to heaven, but that's what it'll do, okay? And listen, if you're like, oh, I'm a vegan. Man, I love a vegan. I think a deer's a vegan. They're delicious, all right? So that's how it happens. I hope you know, like Mother Nature does not sing them to sleep and let them go to heaven, okay? It's brutal out there.

So that's what I hope to do. Now, if you make a bad shot, a liver shot, it ain't good, but they still don't die. A few years ago in South Dakota, a big old buck comes out, I draw on him, I hit back, I didn't make a good shot. And so I didn't hit the ribs, and these broadheads are so sharp, and the arrows go so fast that it went through him, and he didn't even know he was hit. He was standing there eating some corn that I put out there,

and he goes, and he heard the arrows stick in the ground. He's like, what's that? Huh, he's just looking at it. Then I could see it in his face, he was like, mm, my stomach hurts, man. I think I've had some bad corn. And then you know what? He didn't run.

He started walking away, slow like this. He didn't realize he's a dead deer walking. It's over. And he doesn't even know he's been hit. And he's walking over there and he's thinking, oh, man, I think if I just lay down and take a nap, I'll feel better. And he went, he took a nap, and he woke up in my office. He's like, what am I doing here?

I can't feel my legs. Okay, that's what happened. Look, I know it's funny. But you have an enemy. and if you're buying into this world sexual ethic, man, your liver shot, your liver shot. This world is only trying to kill, steal, and destroy. You. And God is for you. And his ways may not be our waves, but they're better because he knows. He knows what abundant life is. And abundant life is obedience to him. As a bird rushes into a snare, he does not know that it will cost him his life. You see, it's a trick and it's a trap. See, what starts is fun.

and death. You think it's just a few pictures online. And who does it hurt? Well, it's killing the intimacy in your marriage and it's killing that girl you're looking at. And you think it's just a lunch. And it's going to cost you your family. Here's one that scary. You think, you know what, I'm just going to, I normally wouldn't dress this way, but I'm going to dress a little scandalous and me and the girls are just going to go to the club. I mean, who will know? And then you show up to the club and you're like, oh cool, our whole church goes to the club. That's weird. Sweet. A few too many drinks, dancing a little bit. Then you want. wake up and you have given yourself to a person you don't even know.

Your liver shot. Or you're dating somebody and you're not married and you're making out too much and you're either damaging a good relationship or you're prolonging a bad one. Or you send some messages to somebody that's not your spouse. And I've seen this a million times. This is what he's talking about. And then one step leads to another and you begin to do things you never dreamed you would do. because this is not just about your willpower, man.

This is about you have an enemy. It's been around forever, and he's a liar, and he lies to us. And every time we believe the lie, death is hanging on the other side of that. He says, and now, old sons, listen to me and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your hearts turn aside to her ways, and do not stray into her past. For many a victim, she has laid low. And all her slain are a mighty throng. You are not unique.

And her house is the way to hell. shield going down to the chambers of death. So let me ask you this, if you were God, based on what's going on in our world, and how precious the gift of marriage and sex and sexuality is, what would you say to this generation to everybody alive right now? Be careful. Good luck. We're just mammals.

Be safe. You would scream, flee. sexual immorality. Flees sexual immorality. Do whatever it takes. In fact, Jesus, specifically when talking about sexual immorality, says, if your eye causes you to sin, gouge that thing out. If your hand causes you to sin, cut that thing off.

Jesus, that's kind of extreme. He's like, this is extremely important. Like, if the girl at work is causing you to sin, get you a new work. There's plenty of jobs. You have made a commitment to one, one. You only got one wife. Keep it that way. If this thing right here,

if this smartphone, I don't know why we call it a smartphone. If this thing is a stumbling buck for you, then when we get out of this service in a few minutes, you drive as fast as you can to the Atlantic Ocean and throw it as far as you can. And then go get you one of them flippy ones. Beep, beep, beep, no pictures.

You understand? We made it for several thousand years without these things. You do whatever it takes to take steps of obedience in the direction of your good shepherd because your abundant life hangs in the balance. So listen, when it comes to sex and sexuality, I am an absolute Pharisee. I have rules, I have guardrails, I have laws about the laws, about the laws, because I ain't trying to figure out where's the line and how close can I get.

I'm trying to get as far away from that as I absolutely can. People call me crazy. Crazy because of the rules I have. No private meetings with females. And if somebody says, well, that ain't fair. I don't care. You can have fair. I'm going to say marriage, okay?

I don't do lunches with girls. I never travel alone. I got all the filters on all the things. And again, somebody's like, well, isn't that a little ridiculous? Let me tell you what's ridiculous. It's ridiculous to think that I can outthink the enemy. It's ridiculous to think that I could trust my flesh. Because every single one of us are prone to wander,

Lord, I feel it prone to leave the God I love, right? And some people have told me, well, that's not normal. Bro, you can have normal. You know what normal in our world is? Normal is broke, medicated, and devoid. You keep normal. Call me crazy. I ain't normal. You know what I am? Happily married. That's what I am. And listen, man, over 1,500 pastors leave the ministry every month. The majority of those are over moral failures. Pastors. 50% of pastors' marriages will end a divorce. 25 to 40% of pastors have had an

extramarital affair since the beginning of their ministry. Let me tell you, man, I ain't going down that room. I'm not even getting close to it. Not because I got this. I'm the first to admit, I don't got this, Jesus, I need your help. So I flee and run away. Why? Because I love Jesus too much. I love Gretchen too much.

I love J.P. and Reagan too much. And quite honestly, church, I love you too much. So I am going to do what the good shepherd has called me to do. And at this point in my life, man, 23 years of marriage, the freedom. You know what? Right before I walked out, I text Gretchen. I said, baby, I love you. I'm gonna meet her at the Jackson.

baby, I love you. Thank you for making it so easy to preach this message. That's what God wants for you. Flee sexual immorality. So what do you do? What do you do? What if you're like,

yeah, could have used this message a couple years ago? Here's what you do. Repent. Repent means a change of mind, change of direction. Quit buying into the ways of the world. Trust God's ways.

You need new paths. You do whatever it takes. Some of you need to break it up. You need to break up. Call it off. Can't say that person anymore. If every time dating leads to sexual activity, you should get your phone out right now

and make an appointment with yourself one year from today, resume dating, because you're not ready. This is a hard one. You need to confess your sins to one another. Now, if there has been an extra-marital affair, infidelity, you do not handle that alone. We are here to help.

We love you. You need counseling. You need help. You need like triage immediately, okay? But I am here to tell you the automatic is not to quit. If God can breed new life into his dead son, then he can breed new life into a marriage that feels dead to you. If the tomb is empty, anything is possible.

Short of that, if your spouse is confessing things to you that aren't physical adultery, okay? If they are confessing things to you, I don't even know how to tell you how to be prepared to feel so hurt and so discombobulated. I get it. but the way we respond to our spouses is either going to set them up.

It's going to plant seeds of grace and trust or you're going to teach somebody how to hide and lie. So we're going to have to pray that God would give us the grace to be forgivers in this situation. So we need to repent, we need new past, we need to confess our sins to one another, and maybe the biggest thing for every single one of us because there is not a person

at any of our campuses or list, listening online, including the guy preaching the whole thing, who has not sinned when it comes to sexuality. And so we need to receive the forgiveness purchase for us at the cross of Jesus Christ. Jesus talks about this very specifically. In John chapter 8, these religious guys catch this woman in the act of adultery. So she doesn't have a defense. And they bring this girl, they're using her as a commodity to get what they want to.

and they bring this girl before Jesus and throw her at his feet and they say we caught her in the act of adultery, sexual immorality. And Leviticus says that the penalty is her death and they've got the rocks in their hands to enact it. What say you, Jesus? Jesus gets down on the ground with her,

starts doodling the sand. Nobody knows what he wrote. A lot of people guessed stuff. I think he's just getting all the attention off her and putting it on him. And he goes, okay. you're going to play the judgment game let's go

he who was without sin cast the first stone church I am not here to throw stones I'm here on behalf of Jesus as an ambassador to offer to you abundant life and so one at a time starting with the old guys because they know best

they begin to drop their rocks and then he says daughter who condemns you she looks around think about this man She knows Leviticus. She's bracing for the impact of the rock of judgment

to smack her in the head until she's dead. But instead, she opens her eyes and she sees the face of Jesus and she is smacked by the grace of him who says, then neither do I condemn you. My Bible says in Romans 8.1, therefore now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. But he doesn't stop. He says, now go and leave your life of sin.

It's not enough just to receive his forgiveness. if you actually do receive his forgiveness, it will compel and propel you to go and live differently. Nobody's here to judge you. Jesus offers eternal life. So we're going to respond. And I know after a sermon like that, nobody's like, well, I can't wait to run to the altar.

Well, everybody think about me. You know who needs to come to the altar? Every single person that wants to be real about their faith in Jesus. On Thursday night, Gretchen was here. We came to the altar to pray for our marriage. If you're married, you should probably come pray for your marriage. And some of you're like, didn't we do it two weeks ago? Uh-huh.

You can do it again. At 9 o'clock, my 14-year-old daughter was here. We went to the altar. And I mean, I prayed, look, man, worship is war, right? There's a war against my little girl. And I got over her and just prayed God's word over her. I want her to know how valuable she is. I want her to know how much I love her.

And that might be a reflection of how much God loves her. He loves her infinitely more than I do. Maybe you need to come and repent. Maybe you need to come and say, all right, Lord, I want to claim Christ's death on the cross that forgives me in my sin, but I need some help, Spirit. I need you to empower me to go and leave my life of sin. And you can pray it way up there, I get it.

But Jesus, kneel down with that lady. Kneel down. You got an enemy that's trying to kill you. If you want to walk in the abundant life, Christ has called you, walk in, I dare you to come down here and kneel down. Married people, single people. If you've got teenage kids, you should drag them down here and pray over them. And I pray that in a supernatural, tangible way, you would feel the good shepherd speaking over you. You would be so filled with the Spirit of God that when you walk out of

here, you were able to walk in the direction of obedience of the good shepherd, because that's where abundant life is. Would you please stand? Let me pray for you. Our good and grace is heavenly, Father God, we love you, we thank you, that you came for us, that you are for us. God, we pray against the enemy and his evil schemes, God, would you give us eyes to see the way you see so that through the power of the spirit we can do what you say? Lord, I pray that there would not be a spirit of condemnation in this place. Conviction, please, condemnation, no way. That's a lie from the enemy. Lord, I pray that we would experience firsthand your forgiveness, and we would walk out of here

differently because of it. We prayed in Jesus' name, amen. So we bring, we sing, we pray. Let's respond.